Chastity is virginity, that is, control over sexual desires. There is a second meaning of the word - moral purity. Christianity defines chastity as abstinence not only from premarital sexual contacts, but even from thoughts about it, and in a broader sense - modesty in relationships and in outlook on life. In V. Dahl’s dictionary it is written: “chaste - not only one who preserved virginity before marriage, but also chaste in marital relations, that is, one who remains faithful.”
During the wedding, the priest, reading a prayer, says the following words: “Lord, give them chastity and many children.” A thought-provoking expression, but not about that now.
In everyday life, the word chastity is rarely used, and mainly as a synonym for the word virginity.
A virgin is a girl who does not have sexual intercourse, the anatomical proof of which is the integrity of the hymen.
Meaning of hymen3
There is no exact opinion about the significance of this organ, there are only assumptions. The most common and plausible one is the protective function. Until the hormonal background is formed, the hymen is a kind of barrier to pathogenic microflora.
An unusual hypothesis was put forward by Russian biologist, Nobel Prize winner I. Mechnikov. Previously, people got married early, almost in childhood. The boy's penis was not yet sufficiently developed. The presence of a hymen contributed to pleasure by adapting the vagina to the size of the penis. The penis grew, and the hymen stretched, and at a certain time it ruptured.
Defloration process4
Defloration means breaking the integrity of the hymen. This usually happens during the first sexual intercourse. Defloration is divided into complete and incomplete. Hymenal ruptures can be either single or multiple.
In most cases, defloration is accompanied by bleeding. The amount of blood depends on the structural features of the hymen. If it is thin, then the bleeding is not severe, the pain is barely noticeable. With a thick hymen, bleeding can be quite profuse and last 2-3 days, and the pain is more pronounced. Defloration occurs without pain and blood, and this is a normal option.
After the age of twenty, changes are observed in the tissues of the hymen, the number of elastic fibers decreases, so defloration at this age may be accompanied by greater blood loss and severe pain.
In the hymen itself after defloration, hemorrhages of a dark red or red-violet color are visible, and traumatic edema is present. All phenomena usually disappear within 1-2 weeks.
During this period, a woman needs to pay especially close attention to genital hygiene.
Although rare, it does happen. If problems arise with defloration, the best solution would be to contact a medical facility. Providing assistance will take several minutes, while inept or too persistent attempts by a man can lead to injury to the woman’s genitals.
Defloration is an important milestone in a girl's life. This is a milestone, after crossing which she becomes a woman and enters a new, adult life. The moment of defloration is remembered for a lifetime. And not only for the girl, but also for the male deflorator. Therefore, each of them experiences understandable excitement: the girl - because of the fear of the unknown, the guy - because of responsibility.
What can be done so that the girl’s first sexual experience does not bring disappointment, and the man turns out to be on top?
You need to be sexually active before marriage to determine “compatibility”
Sexual compatibility is truly a myth. A woman's vagina is indifferent to the size of her penis. It can adjust to the size of the baby during childbirth and the small male genital organ and experience pleasure during intercourse. Pleasure in this context is not at all correlated with the concept of the size of something. Some people are only turned on by small breasts, others only by fat women. Although this is typical for falling in love, it is not for love.
Sexual arousal does not depend on the size of the breasts, penis, etc. For each person, this occurs purely according to individual criteria, not in relation to any generally accepted norm. When they talk about compatibility, they can emphasize the aspect that there is compatibility of temperaments. But with the small amendment that if a person craves some special poses, considering it impossible to fully satisfy the desire through ordinary caresses, while in sexual contact with his beloved, then, apparently, he is a bit of a pervert and, perhaps, quite addicted to porn.
It is also quite absurd to enter into or break off a relationship simply because of “sexual compatibility,” even if it existed in nature.
Advice from experienced people5
- The girl’s psychological attitude is important, and sensitivity and attention are required from her chosen one.
- The environment should be comfortable, nervousness and haste are unacceptable.
- Foreplay is necessary. Everything will go much easier if the girl is quite excited. In this state, endorphins begin to enter the blood. These hormones can not only lift your mood, but also have some analgesic effect.
- During the first sexual intercourse, a girl may have insufficient secretion of natural lubrication, so it is advisable to use a lubricant.
- Defloration should take place in a lying position. It wouldn't hurt to put a small pillow under the girl's hips.
- The best option for contraception is a condom.
- If it doesn't work out, don't be upset. You can try again after a few days.
- It will be a big plus for a man if he invites a girl to celebrate an important event - at least with a glass of champagne.
Attitude towards virginity6
Attitudes towards virginity differed among different nations and at different times, sometimes radically. In many cultures, the absence of premarital sexual intercourse was seen as a necessity. Preserving virginity was associated with preserving honor and spiritual purity.
The world has many faces, and in other places on the planet the attitude towards chastity was exactly the opposite. For example, in Polynesia. There, among some nationalities, virginity was not welcomed. It was believed that the more sexual partners a girl has, the better. She is in demand and is in demand among suitors, but a virgin is a virgin because no one needs her.
In some cases, virginity was considered mystical. The cult of the goddess Vesta flourished in ancient Rome. The priestesses of the cult occupied a high position in society. Their main responsibility was to maintain the sacred fire in the temple, as well as sacrifices to the goddess. The Vestals enjoyed universal respect and personal inviolability. They were given generous gifts and paid high salaries. But only virgins had the right to protect the sacred fire, so when entering service, the priestesses took a vow of purity. Violation of the vow was punished extremely severely - by burial alive.
All world religions condemn premarital and extramarital affairs, but bless the family union of a man and a woman.
Many holy fathers spoke about chastity
Let's see what the holy fathers said about chastity.
Hieromartyr Cyprian of Carthage said that the integrity of the human body consists not only in abstinence and chastity, but also in modesty and decency: “...Continence and chastity consist not only in the integrity of the body, but also in the modesty and decency of the attire itself...”.
Hieromartyr Cyprian of Carthage said that the integrity of the human body consists not only in abstinence and chastity, but also in modesty and decency
Saint Basil the Great said that chastity is the true power combined with consciousness:
Great Vasily
Saint
“...We do not call chaste the one in whom intemperate desires have weakened due to old age, or illness, or some other incident. For although sin still lives in such a person, his activity is hindered by the weakness of his members. And chastity is a true force united with consciousness, deeply imprinted in the soul and destroying the remaining traces of shameful movements...”
Saint Gregory the Theologian:
Georgy Bogoslov
Saint
“...My friends, and you, parents, and you, celibate youths and virgins, how long will you, like a despised turtle, or an octopus that does not walk straight, or a long snake that creeps on its belly, how long will you drag out your life, burdened with the terrible burden of the flesh? Let us finally listen to Christ’s advice, rejecting beauty, glory, wealth, race, happiness and all the seductive products of disastrous sin, we will rise from here, we will ascend into an easy life, we will be cleansed, we will be unanimous with the pure Heavenly Powers, so that, having entered into the host of those who stand before the Great God, sing with joy a celebratory song to the King...”
Saint John Chrysostom believes:
John Chrysostom
Saint
“...The purity of chastity, having strengthened our forefathers, made them unshakable pillars of the universe, on the one hand, offering prayers to heaven, on the other, healing the souls of people on earth...Jesus Joshua, having chastity as his inseparable companion, also commanded the heavenly bodies: he stopped the course of the sun, kept the moon in place and extended the length of the day...”
Reverend Abba Heremon stated:
“...the perfection of chastity differs from the difficult beginnings of abstinence by constant calm. For the perfection of true chastity consists in the fact that it not only suppresses the excitement of carnal lust, but is also averted with all horror, constantly maintains its inviolable purity and cannot be anything other than holiness. And this will happen when the flesh, having already ceased to lust against the spirit, will be consistent with its desires and virtue, and will begin to unite with each other in a solid peace...”
How our ancestors viewed chastity7
Attitudes towards virginity in Russia have changed more than once. During pagan times, the cult of chastity was not widespread in Rus'. Among some peoples inhabiting the country, premarital children even served as an indicator of a woman’s fertility.
Everything changed in the 10th century. The girl’s purity began to be an honor not only for the family, but also for the entire clan. Premarital affairs were rare and strongly condemned. Losing one's virginity was equated with moral failure. Chastity was considered not just a physical state, but purity of the soul, and served as a guarantee of the health of future children.
Saint Ambrose spoke of three forms of chastity
Saint Ambrose spoke of three forms of chastity. Three forms of chastity:
- chastity widowhood;
- chastity of husband and wife;
- Chastity of virginity.
Also, Saint Ambrose says that this virtue is not to be praised, it is the gift and wealth of Christian discipline.
Saint Ambrose spoke of three forms of chastity: widowhood, husband and wife, virginity
Ritual defloration8
In the Middle Ages, in France and a number of other European countries, there was an order in which the feudal lord deprived the bride of her virginity. This order, or rather disorder, was called the “right of the first night.” Historians claim that the feudal lord’s vassals not only were not indignant, but were overjoyed. The essence of the matter is that in those ancient times there was an opinion that defloration could anger higher powers.
Some wealthy lords managed to do good deeds dozens of times in a year, and for some reason the higher powers treated such facts completely calmly. And if the feudal lord was tired or lacked health, then he transferred the honorary position to his son or another relative.
The Scandinavians also had a hard time. It’s good that hermit monks living in the forests came to their aid. They took the bride into the forest. They lit a fire there, sacrificed a wild boar to the deity and, after such a romantic dinner, began sacred intercourse.
If the result was negative, the victim was considered rejected. There were two more attempts left. If they did not bring a positive result, the girl was declared rejected by the deity. The marriage was annulled, the groom was looking for another wife, and the girl was doomed to loneliness.
The Papuans had friends of the groom as assistants. At his request, they stole a potential bride, had sexual intercourse with her, having previously deprived her of her virginity with a stone knife. Then they returned her home. All men living in the village could have intercourse with the newly-made woman. When there were no more people willing, the wedding took place.
In the Marquesas Islands, sexual intercourse with the bride was performed by guests during the wedding feast. Instead of cake. The groom held the bride's head on his knees, and the guests took turns eating.
For a long time, small nationalities living in the regions of the Far North and Siberia had a custom of inviting foreigners as deflorators. There was a big catch here. Locals believed that through the blood of a virgin, ancestors could harm a man. And while the invitee tried to live up to the expectations placed on him, the host squinted slyly: this is what you need, they say.
Nowadays such barbaric methods can no longer be found, except in the most remote corners of the globe, where no civilization has set foot.
Why are men afraid of virgins?9
Virgophobia is the fear of virgins. This means that they are really afraid, since they had to come up with a special term.
It’s worth figuring out what scares them.
- Fear of not being able to cope – it’s not every day that you come across such a responsible task.
- Fear of blood is inherent in humans at the genetic level. In ancient times, people believed that a soul lives in a person’s blood and that it can come out with bloodletting.
- Fear of hurting another person. In this case, Freud also frightened those who were not afraid. In his authoritative opinion, the man fears that the girl will take “revenge” on him for the pain, and revenge will result in castration. All these fears are on a subconscious level; in a sane mind it is difficult to think of such things.
Now it’s clear why men used to shift the heavy burden onto other people’s shoulders, or rather, onto other people’s organs, while they themselves used the easy ways.
Attitudes towards chastity in modern society: Over the past few decades, attitudes towards chastity have undergone very strong changes.
Why did chastity go out of fashion?10
- Contraception played a dual role in life. On the one hand, it made it possible to plan the birth of children and avoid unwanted pregnancies. On the other hand, it contributed to the decline of morals.
- Sexual revolutions imposed a certain stereotype of behavior in which chastity had no place left.
- Changing public consciousness. Men have become more loyal in matters of preserving virginity. The age of the couple getting married has become closer to 30. Open relationships are widely promoted in the media.
Enterprising young ladies offer defloration for money, and more than once. After all, hymenoplasty - an operation to restore the integrity of the hymen - is put on a grand scale. There was such a thing as an anatomical virgin. This girl refuses genital contact, but does not disdain such types of sex as oral and anal. In this case, virginity cannot be called chastity.
"Sexual Revolution"
The reason that now a virgin is a very rare phenomenon is a turning point in public consciousness in the middle of the 21st century. The “sexual revolution” - the lot of the 1960s - caused a lot of trouble. This happened due to a change in ideas about morality. As a result, many took advantage of the opportunity provided by contraception. After all, it was then that they began to spread, which made it safer to have frequent sex, and moreover, with different sexual partners. The idea of morality at that time among most people was that sex before marriage is normal, and if you protect yourself, you can protect both yourself and your partners from trouble. But contraceptives to this day do not have the ability to protect both from sexually transmitted diseases and from pregnancy 100%.
Until the 20th century, a significant part of society identified morality with Christianity. Afterwards, with the harsh socialist regime, a completely different worldview came to many things, although chastity was a component of this philosophy. However, society itself began to rank values differently by level of significance, gradually placing virginity at one of the lowest levels. But it paid very dearly for this: today, debauchery, the collapse of family values, divorces, perversions, which include pedophilia, bestiality, abortion, homosexuality, sexually transmitted diseases, infertility, pornography, etc., are replete with events for one person. Modern man has already partially realized where the reason for his constant troubles regarding family and marital relations lies, and today, relative to 1960, chastity is something that, at least, one can already be proud of.
What is the danger of premarital affairs11
- With a change of sexual partner, the usual composition of the vaginal microflora is disrupted, thereby causing an imbalance in the body and a decrease in immunity. Numerous sexually transmitted infections are difficult to treat and cause infertility. Monsters such as syphilis and gonorrhea are always looking for a new victim.
- There is a high risk of unwanted pregnancy. Despite the wide variety of contraceptives, none of them provides a 100% guarantee.
In the modern world, chastity has ceased to be a virtue and has become unfashionable. But fashion tends to change, right?
The cult of the body provoked his collapse
The condom has been considered an excellent and affordable means of protection since the 1960s. However, according to official statistics, 40% of Americans infected with HIV became infected through a condom. Back then, they somehow didn’t think about the fact that infection occurs not only through sperm, but also through secretions from the genitals.
In general, when a virus enters the body, it not only settles in it, but also changes, i.e. modified and can cause trouble throughout life.
Women are much more at risk of infection than men. And they also cause more damage to them. For example, the probability of contracting gonorrhea in women compared to men is 60-90%, while in the former it is 20-30%. Chlamydia has no symptoms, but, in turn, is the cause of infertility and dangerous pregnancy. Syphilis, in addition to the genital organs, affects the blood vessels of the brain, and also has a negative effect on the heart, causing ulcers and psychosis.
Gonorrhea causes pelvic inflammation and also infertility. Genital herpes threatens the death of the fetus; it is a difficult to treat disease. If in the early 1960s there were only two sexually transmitted diseases, now there are about forty. As a result, millions of people around the world are infected with them every year. Of 100% of sexually active young people, 40% become infected with the human papillomavirus, as well as chlamydia, and of all 40 diseases, young people under 25 years of age are among those who suffer from them.
