The fact is that life continues after death. Moreover, the final fate of a person is decided not after death, but at the second coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, which we are all waiting for. Therefore, before the second coming we can still change this fate. When we are alive, we can do this ourselves by doing good deeds and believing in Christ. Having died, we can no longer influence our own afterlife, but this can be done by people who remember us and have heart problems. The best way to change the posthumous fate of the deceased is prayer for him.
When are the dead remembered? On what days are the dead commemorated? At what time of day can you remember?
The time of day when one can remember the deceased is not regulated by the Church. There are folk traditions that go back to paganism and clearly prescribe how and at what hour to remember the dead, but they have nothing to do with Christian prayer. God lives in space without time, and we can reach heaven at any moment of the day or night.
The Church has established special days of remembrance of those who are dear to us and have passed on to another world - the so-called Parental Saturdays. There are several of them a year, and all but one (May 9 - Commemoration of Dead Soldiers) have a moving date:
Meat Saturday (Ecumenical Parental Saturday) March 5, 2016.
Saturday of the 2nd week of Lent, March 26, 2016.
Saturday of the 3rd week of Lent, April 2, 2016.
Saturday of the 4th week of Lent, April 9, 2016.
Radonitsa May 10, 2016
May 9 - Commemoration of deceased soldiers
Trinity Saturday (Saturday before the holiday of Trinity). June 18, 2016.
Saturday of Dimitrievskaya (Saturday before the day of memory of Dmitry Solunsky, which is celebrated on November 8). November 5, 2016.
In addition to Parental Saturdays, the deceased are remembered in church at every service - at the proskomedia, part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it. Before the Liturgy, you can submit notes “of remembrance.” The note contains the name with which the person was baptized, in the genitive case.
What helps our prayer for the dead
The lives of saints cite many cases where dead sinners were delivered from torment by the private prayer of their loved ones. But in all cases it was necessarily connected with feat, with self-sacrifice, connected with fasting, vigil and almsgiving. The desert fathers Macarius the Great, Paisius the Great, Pavel the Simple, Andrew, the Fool for Christ , and others have a special grace of prayer for the dead.
Venerable Paul the Simple
It happens that the deceased departed from life in enmity, without forgiving someone, or he himself did not receive forgiveness from those whom he offended. If the sin is great and requires correction by deed, then until correction itself, prayers of permission and offerings for the soul of the deceased may not be of any use. Therefore, loved ones should at least now come to terms with all enemies, satisfy the offended, forgive those who offended. It is worth remembering how tearfully Tsar Theodosius the Younger (c. 346 - January 17, 395) asked for forgiveness at the tomb of St. John Chrysostom - not for himself, but for his mother, Queen Eudoxia, who unrighteously expelled the saint.
There is another example worthy of imitation. When in the 4th century after the Birth of Christ, during a pagan rebellion in the Syrian city of Apamea, Bishop Marcellus was killed (485), his relatives for the sake of Christ forgave the murderers, persuading the judges not to put them to death.
The importance of forgiving enemies is also indicated by the following rule, which the Nomocanon traces back to the Apostle Paul himself (5/10 - 64/67): if two people have enmity with each other and one of them dies, then the other is excommunicated for a year from the communion of the Holy Mysteries and as penance he must go to the grave of the deceased for forty days, saying: “Forgive me, brother, and God will forgive you” (Indirect indication that on the 40th day the soul of the deceased will appear for a private trial before God and, if penance is fulfilled, then this soul will receive relief).
How do you remember for 9 days? How do you remember for 40 days? How to remember for six months? How to remember for a year?
The ninth and fortieth days from the day of death are special milestones on the path from earthly life to eternal life. This transition does not occur immediately, but gradually. During this period (until the fortieth day), the deceased person gives an answer to the Lord. This moment is extremely important for the deceased; it is akin to childbirth, the birth of a little person. Therefore, during this period the deceased needs our help. Through prayer, good deeds, changing ourselves for the better in honor and memory of those close to us.
For six months, such a church commemoration does not exist. But there will be nothing bad if you remember it for six months, for example, by coming to the temple to pray.
An anniversary is a day of remembrance when we, those who loved a person, come together. The Lord commanded us: Where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them (Matthew 18:20). And joint remembrance, when we read a prayer for relatives and friends who are no longer with us, is a bright, resounding testimony to the Lord that the dead are not forgotten, that they are loved.
Answers to popular questions
People who are far from attending church, faced with the need to lead a person into another world, often do not know how to do this correctly. It is better to familiarize yourself in advance with the basic rules of commemoration and the features of the Christian view of the afterlife.
Why do people die
According to the will of the Lord, earthly life is finite, only the existence of the soul is eternal. The physical shell is its temporary refuge. Death is the moment of transition from earthly life to the afterlife. And although separation from the deceased is difficult, he does not leave forever. In Paradise, the souls of loved ones meet again and remain together forever. This must be remembered when thinking about the meaning of life and the inevitability of death.
What happens to the soul after death
When the body dies, the soul separates from it and remains with it for some time. She can see and hear the living, but cannot speak to or touch them. Righteous souls can even travel the Earth, waiting for their opportunity to ascend to God. They are able to visit holy places to touch the shrines for the last time.
After the funeral service, a guardian angel descends to the soul. Together with him, she appears before the eyes of God and he shows her her whole life: good deeds and sins. Nothing can be hidden from the Lord, and souls, seeing not only their deeds, but even their thoughts, are ashamed of their sins and want to atone for them. The souls of the righteous can go from Heaven immediately and settle in large, bright abodes. And the sinner’s soul will have to go through tests to atone for his sins.
The meaning of the third, ninth and fortieth days after death
On the 3rd day, the soul finds itself at the first judgment of God. From days 4 to 9, the soul walks through Paradise, looking at the angels and the righteous. Those who repented before death and received forgiveness can remain in Paradise after the 9th day. And sinners will have to go through ordeals - tests that demons arrange for her, trying to take their souls to Hell. The ordeals are different: from murder and the sins of sodom to gluttony and idle talk and last up to 40 days.
If the soul succumbs to temptation, the demons rejoice - every sin brings the soul closer to Hell. If she passes the test with dignity, the angels rejoice, preparing to take the deceased to heaven. On the 40th day, the soul appears for the last time before the Divine Judgment, and God determines where it will go - to Hell or Heaven.
What soul does not go through ordeals after death?
Only innocent souls can escape the mandatory ordeal. These are considered:
- souls of babies;
- children under 7 years old;
- souls of the blessed.
The soul of an adult can go to Heaven immediately only if his life was truly righteous and he repented of all sins. Thus, the thief who repented on the cross, after death, together with Jesus, was immediately able to enter Paradise without going through an ordeal.
Heaven concept
Behind the beautiful gilded gates lies heaven, where angels sing to the glory of the Lord, and the souls of the righteous enjoy eternal happiness. This is Paradise, the true Kingdom of God. It has monasteries - bright, spacious dwellings in which souls live.
The Lord created paradise so that the souls of the righteous could forever remain next to their Savior and glorify him. Next to God live the souls of the righteous and saints, in distant abodes - less worthy, but still admitted to Paradise. They sing hymns glorifying the Lord, create beautiful pictures, and compose melodies. In the Lord's abodes there is an opportunity to work and rest. Souls can visit each other and see from afar what is happening on earth.
The souls of the righteous can become guardian angels for their relatives and, after the death of the physical body, meet them in order to escort them to Paradise.
What you need to know about Hell
In Hell, Satan and the demons subordinate to him torture the souls of sinners. They are forced to forever succumb to terrible torment, atonement for sins committed during life. Criminals who violate God's commandments go to Hell:
- the killers;
- libertines;
- the thieves;
- blasphemers;
- drunkards and gamblers;
- foul-mouthed and deceivers;
- apostates of the Holy Church.
Hell, like Heaven, is divided into levels. In the upper ones there are souls whose sins are not so severe. These souls have a chance to leave Hell if their relatives can atone for the sins of the deceased with prayers and alms. At the lower levels there are sinners who have committed terrible crimes and experience terrible torment.
How to cope with the grief of loss
The loss of a loved one always causes pain and brings sorrow, even to true believers. Although a person hopes to meet his loved ones in the Kingdom of God, the separation will last throughout his earthly life. People exposed to grief may not be able to cope with it and try to take their own life. This is a mistake and a terrible sin. Hoping to be close to the deceased again, suicides destroy their soul, dooming it to eternal suffering in Hell.
You can help yourself or your loved ones overcome the grief of loss through prayer. Reading prayers, attending church and doing good deeds in memory of the deceased strengthens faith and gives hope.
What to do if your conscience is tormenting you
It often happens that relatives do not have time to say goodbye to the deceased and ask him for forgiveness for voluntary and involuntary grievances. In this case, you need to light candles for the repose in the temple and give alms on behalf of the deceased. His soul will feel supported and this will be the best way to reconcile with a person who has already died.
What to do if you dream of a dead person
Dreams in which the deceased is present frighten many people. But you need to pay attention not to the fact of such a dream, but to its plot. If the deceased looks happy, it means that his soul is in the Heavenly abode and simply wants to visit the living. If the deceased looks sick and tired, and is wearing old, dirty clothes, this is a bad sign. After such a dream, you need to go to Church and order a memorial service.
How many days do people mourn for the deceased?
In the old days, mourning black clothes were worn for at least 1 year. Modern people often ignore this and wear mourning only for funerals. This is wrong because it shows disrespect to the deceased. Black clothes must be worn for 40 days. Women also need to wear a headscarf or headband. During mourning, you cannot have parties, listen to music or watch TV.
What to do with the icon after the funeral service
During the funeral service, an icon is placed on the chest of the deceased: the Mother of God for women and the Savior for men. When saying goodbye to the deceased, relatives must kiss the holy face. After the ceremony, before nailing the coffin lid, the icon can be removed and subsequently given to the church. But you can leave the icon in the coffin - this is not a sin, because on the funeral shroud there is also the face of Christ.
What can be done if the burial took place without a funeral service?
If the funeral did not take place according to Christian canons and the body was buried without a funeral service, you can order an absentee service. This must be done, otherwise the soul will not find peace. You can also invite the priest to conduct a service over the grave.
Is it possible to cremate
Orthodox Christians have strict traditions of conducting funeral rites. According to legend, the human body was created from dust (earth) and after death should again become part of the earth. Therefore, he cannot be cremated or embalmed.
What is eve
On the funeral table, among other dishes, kanun (in common people - kutia) is placed. This is grain porridge with the addition of honey and raisins. Grain symbolizes earthly life, and honey symbolizes life in Paradise. When eating eve, they remember the deceased for his peace and wish him eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Why do you need to bring food to the temple?
After the funeral prayers, church ministers hold a memorial meal. It is prepared from products brought by the relatives of the deceased. In essence, this is the same memorial service that is held after a funeral. It is needed to facilitate the transition of the soul to the afterlife.
The most important commemoration
The main ritual of commemorating the dead is proskomedia. This is the last liturgy of the magpie, during which special prayers are read. During proskomedia, priests beg for the soul to settle in a monastery in Paradise. Sincere prayer saves even a sinner, and helps the righteous to withstand God’s final judgment with dignity.
What is Parents' Saturday
The days of parental Saturdays in the church calendar are days of remembrance of all the departed, and not just those who died this year. The dates of parental Saturdays depend on Easter, so the church calendar is updated every year.
What days should you go to the cemetery?
Visiting the cemetery is mandatory on Parents' Saturdays. In front of them you need to visit the grave, remove weeds and debris. And on the memorial day itself, come with your family and honor the deceased with prayer. If there is a need, there is no need to wait for a special day. You can come to the cemetery to read a prayer at any time when the desire arises. But you shouldn't do this too often. For many people, a cemetery causes despondency and anxiety, and mourning the dead for too long is a sin.
If six months have passed after death, and a person still continues to go to the cemetery, he needs to turn to the church for help.
What to do after visiting a cemetery
Upon returning home, you need to wash your hands, thoroughly dry the soles of your shoes and change into clean clothes. This way you can symbolically wash away the negative cemetery energy. Afterwards, the funeral table should be set to respect the deceased.
Is it possible to have a funeral in a cemetery?
It is not advisable to bring food to the grave itself. It is better to give alms to the beggars who stand at the entrance to the cemetery, or bring food to the funeral table in the church. You cannot drink alcohol over the grave or leave a full glass on the grave mound - this is a sin and an insult to the deceased.
Is it possible to place a photograph on a grave cross?
The cross is one of the main symbols of the Christian faith, which must be placed on the grave. The tradition of placing monuments with photographs at burial sites began in 1917, when Orthodox traditions were banned and persecution began against clergy. After the collapse of the USSR, out of ignorance, crosses and monuments began to be installed on graves.
It's not a sin, but it's better not to post a photo on the cross. People come to the cemetery to pray for peace of mind, and photographs encourage relatives to remember the person’s earthly life.
Is it possible to take a dog when visiting a cemetery?
It is not advisable to take animals to the cemetery. They can damage graves and will disturb other people. The exception is guide dogs that help the blind. You can also take your dog with you as a guard when going to an abandoned cemetery.
It is necessary to ensure that the animal does not eat the food that is left on the graves of the deceased as a memorial. If this does happen, it is necessary to repent of the involuntary sin in confession and give alms on behalf of the deceased whose grave was disturbed by the dog.
How to serve a memorial service for babies
You can have a funeral service for deceased babies and serve a memorial service for them. But since their souls are sinless, they go to Paradise without going through ordeals. During the funeral service, they do not ask for remission of sins, but turn to the Lord with a prayer to grant the soul into the Kingdom of Heaven. Parents need to have time to baptize the baby so that the priest can conduct the funeral ceremony. If a child died without a funeral service, he cannot be buried in a cemetery without special permission from the church.
Is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia for someone who died in war?
If at the time of burial it was not possible to call a priest or it was not possible to find the body of the deceased, a funeral service can be held in absentia. Often fallen soldiers are buried in mass graves and a common prayer is said. This is wrong, because the funeral ceremony should be separate for each person. In this case, it is permissible to hold a funeral service in absentia after the funeral in order to rest the soul of a particular person to rest. The main thing is that he was baptized, and the fact of death was accurately established.
After the funeral service, the priest will give the land over which he read prayers to the relatives who ordered the service. It must be taken to the cemetery and poured crosswise onto any grave. This way the deceased can receive peace.
How to order a memorial service for the unburied deceased
Without the funeral ritual, the soul cannot completely break away from earthly life. Having received no peace, she remains between heaven and earth. You can help your soul by ordering an absentee memorial service. If relatives become aware of a person’s death after the funeral, they need to go to church and order an absentee funeral service and memorial service. It is important that the deceased be baptized and not commit suicide.
During the funeral service in absentia, the priest reads special prayers and asks for absolution for the deceased. Relatives should not just order a memorial service, but attend it. This will help the soul of the deceased get closer to God.
In what cases can a funeral service be performed for a suicide?
In some cases, a suicide may have a funeral service and be buried in a cemetery. To obtain permission, you need to submit a petition to the Ruling Bishop. If he considers that the circumstances of the suicide allow for a funeral service, it will be held in absentia. Forgiveness for suicide is received by the deceased with mental illnesses who are unable to take responsibility for their actions. People who commit suicide by accident, for example by mistakenly taking too much medicine, are also forgiven. After the funeral service in absentia, you can order a temple prayer for repose. Alms should also be given for the souls of suicides: this will help make their stay in the afterlife easier.
Memorial service for a Catholic
Although Catholics share basic Christian beliefs, funeral services cannot be performed in Orthodox traditions. Therefore, ordering a memorial service for a deceased Catholic in a church is prohibited. Deceiving clergy by hiding the deceased’s belonging to another faith is a great sin. This cannot be done under any circumstances, since in this way a person not only sins himself, but also involves the priest in sin. Deceased non-Christians can only be mentioned in home prayers.
Notes to the temple about the unbaptized
A deceased person who has not undergone baptism does not belong to the Orthodox Church, and it is impossible to mention him while reading a prayer in church. In the church, only people who belonged to the Orthodox faith are commemorated, so the names of the unbaptized cannot be included in memorial notes.
If a person unknowingly added the name of an unbaptized person to the note, he needs to repent of this in confession and not do it again.
Is it possible to celebrate the birthday of a deceased person?
There is no need to organize lavish parties on birthdays: you should not invite guests and set the table. It is better to order a memorial service in the church, bring food to the funeral table, or give alms. At home, you need to light candles, paying tribute to the memory of the deceased and remember him in prayer.
Is it possible to perform funeral services for suicides? How to remember suicides?
The question of funeral services and church commemoration of suicides is very controversial. The fact is that the sin of suicide is one of the gravest. This is a sign of a person's distrust of God.
Each such case must be considered separately, because there are different types of suicides - conscious or unconscious, that is, in a state of severe mental disorder. The question of whether it is possible to have a funeral service and commemorate a baptized person who committed suicide in a church rests entirely with the responsibility of the ruling bishop. If a tragedy happened to one of your loved ones, you need to come to the ruling bishop of the region where the deceased lived and ask permission for a funeral service. The bishop will consider this question and give you an answer. As for home prayer, you can certainly remember a person who committed suicide. But the most important thing is to do good deeds in his honor and memory.
What can you remember? Can you remember it with vodka? Why are they remembered with pancakes?
Trizny, funeral meals, came to us from time immemorial. But in ancient times they looked different. This was a treat, a feast not for the relatives of the deceased, but for the poor, crippled, orphans, that is, those who need help and would never be able to arrange such a meal for themselves.
Unfortunately, over time, the feast turned from a matter of mercy into an ordinary home feast, often with copious amounts of alcohol...
Of course, such libations have nothing to do with real Christian commemoration and cannot in any way influence the posthumous fate of the deceased.
How to remember the dead in church?
In the temple, all those dead who united themselves with the Church of Christ in the Sacrament of Baptism are remembered. Even if a person for some reason did not go to church during his life, but was baptized, he can and should be remembered. Before the Divine Liturgy, you can submit a note “for proskomedia.”
Proskomedia is the part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it. At the proskomedia, bread and wine are prepared for the future Sacrament of Communion - the transfusion of bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ. On it, not only the future Body of Christ (the Lamb is a large prosphora) and the future Blood of Christ for the Sacrament (wine) are prepared, but also a prayer is read for Christians - living or dead. For the Mother of God, the saints and us, ordinary believers, particles are taken out from the prosphora. Pay attention when they give you a small prosphora after Communion - it’s as if “someone picked out a piece” from it. It is the priest who takes out particles from the prosphoras for each name written in the note “for proskomedia.”
At the end of the Liturgy, pieces of bread, symbolizing the souls of living or dead Christians, are immersed in a chalice with the Blood of Christ. The priest at this moment reads the prayer “Wash away, Lord, the sins of those remembered here by Thy Blood through the honest prayers of Thy saints.”
Also in churches there are special memorial services - requiems. You can submit a separate note for the memorial service. But it is important not only to submit a note, but also to try to be personally present at the service where it will be read. You can find out about the time of this service from the temple servants, to whom a note is given.
About alms
In addition to the Divine Liturgy, a very important means of liberation from the torment of sinful souls is almsgiving - both from the estate of the deceased and from the own labors of neighbors. The holy fathers interpret the well-known Gospel parable about the servant-housekeeper (Luke 16:1-8) as an exhortation to almsgiving. The Lord concludes this parable with the words:
Make friends for yourself with unrighteous wealth, so that when you become poor, they will receive you into eternal abodes.
Blessed Theophylact of Bulgaria (1055 - 1107) explains these words as follows: “We will make friends for ourselves among the poor, using on them unrighteous wealth, given to us by God as a weapon of righteousness, but kept by us for our own benefit, and therefore turned into unrighteousness.” . ... Let us be the last to make friends for ourselves, so that when we die and move from this life ... they will receive us there into eternal abodes.”
Even if by mistake alms are given to an unworthy person, Christ invisibly accepts it. However, we must try to give to those who really need it. And there are many of them among us, and an attentive Christian can recognize those in need not only among those who stand with an outstretched hand, but also among those who silently endure need, poverty, loneliness, and illness. To do this, Blessed Simeon advises giving alms through experienced and trustworthy spiritual fathers. Then the giver will not be vain, and the alms will be distributed in the best possible way. An ancient and universal Christian custom is to donate to God's churches and monasteries.
It is very important that alms be done from righteous labors - then it is pleasing to God and saving. If the inheritance of the deceased left to relatives was obtained in an unworthy way (by deception, usury, theft), those who are trying to deliver him from torment should not spare their own, righteous property. This is especially true for alms given to the Church.
If the tax collector Zacchaeus gave away half of his property to the poor for his soul, and used the rest to return four times more to the oppressed, then how much alms is needed to deliver from the flames of hell a selfish man who has already died, who can no longer help himself?
Alms from the rich and for the rich are greatly needed. The Fathers of the Church tirelessly taught this in their sermons addressed to the powers that be. Antiquity knows glorious examples of wise, merciful rich people. Of many, for example, the famous entrepreneur Maria Morozova, who invested money in the construction and decoration of churches, as well as in all the shelters, hospitals and orphanages in Moscow; or the generous breadwinner of the Nizhny Novgorod poor, grain merchant Nikola Bugrov.
How to remember the newly deceased?
From the first day of a person’s repose, the Psalter is read over his body. If the deceased is a priest, then the Gospel is read. The Psalter must continue to be read even after the funeral - until the fortieth day.
The newly deceased is also remembered at the funeral service. The funeral service is supposed to take place on the third day after death, and it is important that it is carried out not in absentia, but over the body of the deceased. The fact is that all those who loved the person come to the funeral service, and their prayer is special, conciliar.
You can also remember the newly deceased with a sacrifice. For example, distribute his good, high-quality things to those in need - clothes, household items. This can be done from the first day after a person’s death.
