In one of his famous plays, A. Chekhov argued that everything in a person should be beautiful: face, clothes, soul, and thoughts. It is difficult to disagree with him, since true respect is earned by a person whose actions, words and behavior correspond to this requirement. Everyone is obliged to follow the rules of good manners, regardless of age, skin color, gender, religion. It is worth paying special attention to the last point, since there are certain rules for believers that represent Christian etiquette
.
God has always been a central figure in the life of a Christian. In the recent past, people always began mornings, evenings, even meals with prayer. Today, many rules that the church
, are ignored by society.
But even a person who does not pray or attend church
. According to the clergy, there is no great sin in this, the main thing is that the person’s thoughts and actions are pure and he lives according to the laws of God.
How to start the day and communicate with people?
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Every day should begin and end with prayer. Before starting a project, you should ask the Lord for help: “Lord, bless!” When this request for help is the beginning of any business, a person will avoid many troubles, insults and unkind people.
If you cannot get rid of grievances and injustice, then there is no need to get into a quarrel, make a row and get irritated. You need to pray for the person with a short prayer:
Lord, save Your servant (Your servant) ... (name) and with his (her) holy prayers forgive my sins
Treat an evil person as if you were seriously ill or dying. That is, have pity on him, because if his heart is filled with malice. He actually dies spiritually, unlike an Orthodox person who cleanses his soul with repentance, leaving behind his sins and thereby approaching eternal life. Love him, pray for him. This is the highest ideal of Orthodox etiquette. Of course, this is difficult to achieve. But it’s not difficult to not get into an argument, but to step away and pray, at least in your own words, about this person. Asking for forgiveness will also be the correct resolution of the conflict.
Know how to listen to people and be patient. Don't argue, don't interrupt. Verbosity and boasting do not at all beautify an Orthodox person. Wasting time on empty talk instead of working is also not befitting a believer.
Be on time required. As you fulfill your vows before the Lord, so fulfill what you promised to people. This will be a sign of unfeigned love; it is very important to keep your word. And so that there is no reason to apologize for not being obligatory, do not swear or make unfulfillable promises.
General information about church etiquette
The years of militant atheism in our country, which ultimately led to historical and religious oblivion, interrupted many traditions that held generations together and gave sanctification to life through fidelity to age-old customs, legends, and institutions. What has been lost (and now only in parts and with difficulty is being restored) is what our great-grandfathers absorbed from childhood and what later became natural - the rules of behavior, manners, courtesy, permissibility, which developed over a long time on the basis of the norms of Christian morality. Conventionally, these rules can be called church etiquette.
In general, etiquette is a set of rules of behavior and treatment accepted in certain social circles (there are court, diplomatic, military etiquette, as well as general civil etiquette), and in a figurative sense - the form of behavior itself. The specificity of church etiquette is associated primarily with what constitutes the main content of the religious life of a believer - with the veneration of God, with piety.
To distinguish between the two terms - piety
and
church etiquette -
we will briefly touch on some basic concepts of moral theology (according to the course “Orthodox Moral Theology” by Archimandrite Plato. - Trinity-Sergius Lavra, 1994).
Human life passes simultaneously in three spheres of existence:
- natural; - public; - religious.
Possessing the gift of freedom, a person is oriented:
- on one’s own being; — on an ethical attitude towards the environment; - on a religious attitude towards God.
The basic principle of a person’s relationship to his own existence is honor (indicating that there is a person), while the norm is chastity (individual integrity and internal integrity) and nobility (a high degree of moral and intellectual formation).
The basic principle of a person’s relationship with his neighbor is honesty, while truthfulness and sincerity are the norm.
Honor and honesty are the prerequisites and conditions of religious piety. They give us the right to boldly turn to God, recognizing our own dignity and at the same time seeing in another person a companion to God and a co-heir of God's grace.
The entire life of a believer, who is called upon to remain spiritually sober and not deceive his heart by risking fall into empty piety (see: James 1:26).
Piety is like a vertical, directed from earth to heaven (man <-> God), church etiquette is a horizontal line (man <-> man). At the same time, you cannot rise to heaven without loving a person, and you cannot love a person without loving God: If we love each other, then God abides in us
(1 John 4:12), and
he who does not love his brother whom he sees, how can he love God whom he does not see?
(1 John 4:20).
Thus, spiritual foundations determine all the rules of church etiquette, which should regulate relations between believers striving for God.
There is an opinion that “there is no point in being mannered,” since God looks at the heart. The latter, of course, is true, but virtue itself is offensive if it is combined with repulsive manners. Of course, horrifying intentions can be hidden behind brilliant treatment, which is due to the symbolic nature of our behavior, when, say, a gesture can reveal our true state or desire, but it can also hide. Thus, Pontius Pilate in one modern novel, washing his hands of the trial of Christ, gives this interpretation of his gesture: “Let the gesture be elegant and the symbol impeccable, if the act is dishonorable.” Such abilities of people, with the help of ambiguous gestures and good manners, to hide a bad heart cannot serve as an excuse in the absence of church “good form.” “Bad form” in church can become a stumbling block for a person with little church on his path to God. Let us remember the groans and complaints of converts who come to churches and are sometimes met with simply barbaric attitude towards themselves by those who consider themselves churchgoers. How much rudeness, primitive mentoring, hostility and unforgiveness can be found in other communities! How many people - especially among the youth and intelligentsia - have lost their parishes because of this! And someday they, these departed people, will come to the temple again? And what answer will those who served as such a temptation on the way to the temple give?!
God-fearing and church-educated. a person, even if he sees something indecent in the behavior of another, corrects his brother or sister only with love and respect. Indicative in this regard is an incident from the life of St. Arseny the Great: “This elder retained one habit from his worldly life, namely, sometimes, when sitting down, he crossed his legs, which might not seem entirely decent. Some of the brothers saw this, but none of them dared to reprimand him, because everyone respected him very much. But only one elder, Abba Pimen, said to the brethren: “Go to Abba Arseny, and I will sit with him as he sometimes sits; then you reprimand me that I don’t sit well. I will ask you for forgiveness; At the same time, we will correct the elder too.”
They went and did so. The Monk Arseny, realizing that it was indecent for a monk to sit like that, gave up his habit” (Lives of the Saints. Month of May. Eighth Day).
Politeness, as a component of etiquette, for a spiritual person can become a means of attracting the grace of God. Usually, politeness is understood not only as the art of showing by external signs the inner respect that we have for a person, but also the art of being friendly with people for whom we have no disposition. What is this - hypocrisy, hypocrisy? For a spiritual person who knows the innermost dialectic of external and internal, politeness can become a means on the path of acquiring and developing humility.
There is a well-known expression of one ascetic: do the external, and for the external the Lord will also give the internal, for the external belongs to man, and the internal belongs to God. When external signs of virtue appear, virtue itself gradually increases in us. Here is how Bishop Benjamin (Milov) wisely wrote about this:
“Whoever anticipates the greetings of others with his own greeting, expresses helpfulness and respect towards everyone, prefers everyone everywhere to himself, silently endures various griefs and strains himself in every possible way mentally and practically and in self-abasement for the sake of Christ, at first experiences many difficult and difficult moments for personal pride.
But for the uncomplaining and patient fulfillment of God’s commandment about humility, the grace of the Holy Spirit is poured on him from above, softens his heart for sincere love for God and for people, and his bitter experiences are replaced by sweet ones.
Thus, acts of love without corresponding feelings of love are ultimately rewarded by an outpouring of heavenly love in the heart. He who humbles himself begins to feel in the faces around him relatives in Christ and is disposed towards them with goodwill.”
Bishop Theophan the Recluse wrote about this: “He who acts in a churchly manner, as he should, continuously undergoes the science of reverence before God, with the dedication of everything to Him.”
In communicating with people - both church and non-church - the holy fathers advise remembering that we must fight not against the sinner, but against sin and always give a person the opportunity to correct himself, remembering at the same time that he, having repented in the recesses of his heart, can be , has already been pardoned by God.
We see, therefore, that, in contrast to secular etiquette, the rules of behavior in the church environment, being closely connected with piety, lead to the purification and transformation of the heart by God's grace, which is given to the worker and the ascetic. Therefore, church etiquette should be understood not only as a set of rules of conduct adopted in order to preserve the church body, but also as a path of ascent to Christ.
To make it easier to use this small manual, we have divided it into the following parts: rules of conduct in the parish; rules of conduct in monasteries; how to behave at a reception with the bishop; Orthodox behavior outside the church.
How to say hello and goodbye?
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When entering someone else's house, you should say: “Peace to your home.” The owners must answer: “We accept you in peace.” From Easter to Ascension, that is, for a whole 50 days, you need to greet each other with the words “Christ is Risen!” - “Truly he is risen!” On Sundays and holidays in the temple, people greet each other with the words “Happy Holidays.” When saying goodbye, you need to say “Guardian Angel to you,” “God bless you,” or “God bless you.” It is especially important in this way for parents to accompany their children when they leave home, crossing them.
If you come to the house, and there is someone there at the table, eating food, then you need to greet with the words: “An angel at the meal.” You need to thank people with the words: “God save you,” “Christ save you.” These words must be answered “For the glory of God.” You can say “Thank you” to strangers.
At first, such updated greetings for you will cause confusion. It won't become a habit right away. But understanding their meaning, depth and goodwill must overcome ingrained habits of secular treatment.
Church note
If you want the memorial note you submitted to the altar to be read carefully and slowly, remember the rules:
1. Write in clear, understandable handwriting, preferably in block letters, trying to mention no more than 10 names in one note.
2. Title it “about health” or “about repose.”
3. Write names in the genitive case (the question “who”?).
4. Use the full form of the name, even if you remember children (for example, not Seryozha, but Sergius).
5. Find out the church spelling of secular names (for example, not Polina, but Pelageya; not Artem, but Artemy; not Yuri, but Georgiy).
6. Before the names of clergy, indicate their rank, in full or in an understandable abbreviation (for example, Priest Peter, Archbishop Nikon).
7. A child under 7 years old is called a baby, from 7 to 15 years old - an adolescent.
8. There is no need to indicate the last names, patronymics, titles, professions of those mentioned and their degree of relationship in relation to you.
9. It is allowed to include in the note the words “warrior”, “monk”, “nun”, “sick”, “travelling”, “prisoner”.
10. On the contrary, there is no need to write “lost”, “suffering”, “embarrassed”, “student”, “grieving”, “maiden”, “widow”, “pregnant”.
11. In funeral notes about (the deceased within 40 days after death), “the eternally memorable” (the deceased who have memorable dates on this day), “the murdered.”
12. There is no need to pray for those whom the Church has glorified as saints (for example, Blessed Xenia).
Health is commemorated for those who have Christian names, and repose is remembered only for those baptized in the Orthodox Church.
Notes can be submitted at the liturgy:
For proskomedia - the first part of the liturgy, when for each name indicated in the note, particles are taken out of special prosphoras, which are subsequently dipped into the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of those commemorated;
At mass - this is what people call the liturgy in general, and the commemoration of it in particular. Usually such notes are read by clergy and clergy before the Holy See;
At the litany there is a commemoration for all to hear. It is usually performed by a deacon. At the end of the liturgy, these notes are commemorated a second time in many churches, at services. You can also submit a note for a prayer service or memorial service.
Appeal to the priest
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In the Orthodox world, it is customary to address a priest as “father” or, for example, “father, Ivan.”
You need to greet the priest with the words “Bless you,” and not the usual “hello.” This is not customary, but has been accepted for many centuries. At the same time, you should bow slightly, fold your hands, palms up, with the right on top of the left. The priest will make the sign of the cross and bless, after which he will place the blessing hand on the palm of the believer. You should kiss it like the hand that has just showered you with grace, and not like the hand of an earthly person. Understanding that the priest carries this grace received at ordination is one of the basic understandings of church etiquette and behavior in the church.
Rules of behavior in the temple
Church is a special place. A person who wants to come to God's house must know how to behave in church
. Neither a word, nor an action, nor a thought - nothing should offend the shrine. If we are talking about a service, it is recommended to arrive in advance, a few minutes before it starts. Before entering, be sure to cross yourself with your right hand from your right shoulder to your left and bow. It is forbidden to speak loudly, enter with food or keep your hands in your pockets. Actions, even those performed for a good purpose (lighting candles, attaching to icons), should not interfere with other parishioners. Meeting acquaintances in this place should not be accompanied by loud exclamations and idle conversations. Pressing issues should be discussed exclusively outside the church. If you want to bring children to church, you should take care that they do not play pranks or scream. Crying babies should be quickly calmed down. If it is impossible to comply with these conditions, it is recommended to leave the walls of the temple so as not to disrupt the process of unity of other people with the shrines.
It is not recommended to sing along with the choir during the service. This can only be done if you sing very quietly, without disturbing others. Smoking inside the temple or being with animals is also prohibited. Another nuance that many people do not know about concerns body position. You can only stand in the temple. Only those parishioners who are sick or too tired (for example, the elderly) can sit down. Crossing your legs over your legs is prohibited. You should be observant and try to repeat the actions of other people who came to the service. For example, kneeling if those praying perform these actions. Conversations, whispering during the reading of the Gospel and the celebration of the Divine Liturgy should be postponed until their completion. Also at this moment it is undesirable to venerate shrines, icons, or light candles. You should be in church until the service is completed. Early care is permissible if a person experiences an urgent need for it or is forced to do so due to deterioration in health.
