We are taught by our God that our soul is worth more than the whole world (Matthew 16:26).
We know that the city makes you want everything that is in it, and this is contrary to the will of God. Christ wants us to desire the Kingdom of Heaven, and everything else will follow.
There is no desert, and civilization is increasingly developed. How to lead a spiritual life when there are more and more cities and less and less villages? What helps in spiritual life in a metropolis?
Here are the answers of modern Orthodox Christians who shared their experience of living according to God in a big city. So they notice that several things are needed.
Be attentive to spiritual life
It is easy to fall away from Christ if you do not watch your thoughts, desires, and actions. Spiritual reading of Scripture must be a priority. We must be attentive to our spiritual life. Scripture will feed the heart and soul. It is necessary to understand the interpretation and understand how to apply it in a specific life. “You need to maintain and develop faith in yourself,” says programmer Andrei, who has learned the commandment of the Gospel: “Having heard the word, keep it in a good and pure heart and bear fruit with patience” (Luke 8:15). Being attentive to your eyes, ears, and feelings is necessary for purity of heart, fidelity in marriage and chastity before marriage.
The most important thing: I don’t know how, but to love Jesus Christ and relate everything to him, every decision, every direction of thought, and even every step.
Make time for faith so as not to become fussy
The Lord teaches us: “Take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with gluttony and drunkenness and the cares of this life” (Luke 21:34).
Vladislav, a Sunday school teacher, says that it is necessary to quit smoking, not drink alcohol or at least once a week on non-fasting days. Sleep and food - do not exhaust yourself and do not overindulge.
Anna shares that in the city there is a continuous bustle around, a race from morning to night. And the noise... the noise in which a person, not only God, cannot hear himself, so he must specially devote time to the Creator and the soul.
A Christian student cited a quote from St. Ambrose of Optina: “We must live on earth as a wheel turns: only one point touches the ground, and the rest constantly strives upward; But as soon as we lie down on the ground, we can’t get up.”
Beware of despondency and despair
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After a separation, a divorced person is tormented by severe despondency, despair, and passion. Sometimes he desperately tries to prove to his soulmate that she was mistaken and show that he is worth something. This can lead to promiscuity, deception, and manipulation that devastate the soul, especially if the other half is adamant. The most important thing a Christian should beware of after a divorce is:
- Dejection. It is considered a grave sin that encourages drunkenness and even suicide. All of these are considered grave sins in the church. In such cases, priests advise going to church more often, praying, reading prayers in front of the icon of “Unexpected Joy” or “Inexhaustible Chalice”;
- Feverish attempts to arrange life, get married, find a soul mate. This often provokes extramarital affairs, hasty marriages and mistakes that cost health and can greatly harm both the person himself and those around him. Especially when it turns out that in a new marriage there are no less problems, children suffer;
- Obsessing over oneself to the detriment of business and children. Immersed in emotions, a person can cross the line of normality, abandon everyday life, children, and fall into a desperate situation. In such a situation, he and all his loved ones feel bad;
- Denigration of the person who abandoned him, condemnation. Although in some cases it is impossible not to judge a person, it is his choice. And only he is responsible for it before God.
At first, it is important to pray, visit temple, and let your soul calm down. You can consult with your confessor on how to behave further, or visit a psychologist. The main thing is to restore peace of mind and strength to cope with the situation.
Prayer
Anna advises: “You must always try to remember God. If you go somewhere, cook, clean, work with your hands, you should always pray and thank the Lord. It helps me a lot too.”
Vladislav: “Resort to undistracted prayer as often as possible.”
Maria: “Do not deviate from morning and evening prayer. If there is another rule, follow it. Pray before starting work, including computer work, and after finishing.”
In the city, in general, by nature there is more fear, because everything here depends not on nature, but on man, everything is mechanized to the limit. There's more stress here. Therefore, a stable prayer rule is necessary. Andrey, a believing businessman, notes: “To maintain Faith and Love in Christ, I try to observe the daily reading of the Holy Gospel, morning and bedtime prayers, they educate my conscience and give rise to the fear of sin in every matter.”
“When you are afraid for yourself or for someone else’s life,” says the Christian, “prayer fills the mind and heart, displaces fear, calms, humbles and gives strength to live on. I really love looking at the lights in the windows of neighboring houses at night. The thought often comes to me that I am given the opportunity to see only a small piece of the world that fits through my window, and the Lord takes care of every soul, every person. There are so many of us, and we all have our own sorrows and joys. I feel that I am so small, and the Lord is so Big. It makes me happy to pray at night when the city sleeps. The lights in the houses are going out, and the stars are shining in the sky. At such moments you understand how close God is to us and how He waits for each of us.”
Sergey, a young web designer, is convinced that it is necessary to believe that all events in life happen according to the will of God. “Then you remain calm, don’t get irritated, and there is prayer and your heart is light.”
How to be Orthodox today
By taking such a position - seeing both good and bad in the world - we can have an Orthodox worldview, that is, live with an Orthodox outlook on our whole life, and not just on narrow church issues. There is an incorrect opinion, which, unfortunately, is all too common today, that it is enough to have Orthodoxy limited to the church building and normal “Orthodox” activities such as prayer at a certain time or the sign of the cross; Otherwise, according to this opinion, we can live like everyone else, participating in the life and culture of our time without any problems insofar as we do not commit sin.
Anyone who understands how deep Orthodoxy is and how deep the responsibilities of a serious Orthodox Christian are, as well as what responsibilities the modern world imposes on us, what totalitarian demands the modern world makes of us, easily sees how wrong this opinion is. Either you are Orthodox at any time of every day, in any situation in life, or you are actually not Orthodox at all. Our Orthodoxy is revealed not only in our strictly religious views, but also in everything we do and say. Most of us have little awareness of Christian responsibility for the worldly side of our lives. A person with a truly Orthodox worldview lives every part of his life as an Orthodox Christian.
Let us ask here therefore: how can we nourish and support the Orthodox worldview in our daily lives?
The first and most obvious way is to be in constant contact with the source of Christian nutrition, with everything that the Church gives us for our enlightenment and salvation: church services and the holy Sacraments, Holy Scripture, the lives of saints, the writings of St. fathers. You should, of course, read books that are at your level of understanding and apply church teaching to your own life situations and circumstances, then they will prove fruitful in guiding and changing us in a Christian way.
But often these major Christian sources have little or no effect on us because we do not take the right Christian attitude toward them and toward the Christian life they are supposed to inspire. Let us try to understand what our position should be if we want to receive genuine benefit from them and if they are to become for us the beginning of a genuine Orthodox worldview.
First of all, Christian spiritual food by its very nature is something living and nourishing; if our attitude towards it is purely theoretical and bookish, then we will not receive from it the benefits that it can give. Therefore, if we read Orthodox books or are interested in Orthodoxy only to obtain information or to show off our knowledge to others, we are missing the point; if we teach the commandments of God and the law of His Church only in order to act “correctly” and judge the “wrongness” of others, we are missing the point. They should not only influence our ideas, but should directly touch and change our lives. During any great crisis of human affairs, those who rely on a superficial knowledge of laws, canons and rules cannot stand. The strong ones will be those to whom Orthodox education has given a sense of what true Christianity is, those whose Orthodoxy is in the heart and is capable of touching other hearts.
There is nothing more tragic than to see a person who grew up in Orthodoxy, who has an understanding of the catechism, who has read the lives of the saints, who has an idea of the general goals of Orthodoxy, who understands some of the services - and yet is not aware of what is happening around him. And he presents this life to his children in two categories: one is how the majority lives, and the second is how Orthodox Christians live on Sundays and when they read some Orthodox text. When a child is raised this way, he most likely will not choose Orthodoxy; it will become a very small part of his life, because modern life is very seductive, too many people strive for it, it replaces reality - unless a person has been taught how to protect himself from its harmful effects and how to take advantage of the good that is in the world .
In this sense, our position should be acceptable and normal, i.e. it must be applied to real circumstances, and not be the fruit of fantasy, withdrawal from life and refusal to face the unpleasant phenomena of the surrounding world. A hothouse Orthodoxy that is too lofty and soaring in the clouds is unable to help people in everyday life; our world is quite cruel and hurts souls with its rudeness; we must first respond with sober Christian love and understanding, leaving hesychasm and the highest forms of prayer to those who are able to perceive them.
Our position should not be self-centered, but one that appeals to those seeking God and spiritual life. Now, wherever there is an established Christian community, there is a temptation to turn it into a society for mutual congratulations and delight in our virtues and achievements, the beauty of our church buildings and utensils, the splendor of our services, even the purity of our teaching. But true Christian life, since apostolic times, has always been inseparable from sharing it with others. This is precisely why Orthodoxy is alive, because it shines for others and has no need to establish a “missionary department”; the fire of true Orthodoxy is only something that we keep for ourselves and about which we boast when we are dead, burying the dead, and this is precisely the state in which many of our Orthodox parishes are now, even those where there are many young people, if they do not get deeply involved in your faith. It is not enough to say that young people go to church. We need to ask what they bring there, what they take out of church, and if they do not perceive Orthodoxy throughout their lives, then it is in vain to say that they go to church.
At the same time, our attitude towards people should be one of love and forgiveness. Nowadays some cruelty has crept into Orthodox life: “This is a heretic, don’t communicate with him,” “This one may be Orthodox, but one cannot say with certainty,” “But that one is clearly a spy.” No one will deny that the Church is now surrounded by enemies and that there are some who would not mind taking advantage of our trust. But this has been the case since apostolic times, and in this practical respect the Christian life has always been something of a risk. But even if we are sometimes taken advantage of, and we must exercise caution, we still cannot give up our basic position of love and trust, without it we will lose the basis of the foundations of our Christian life. The world without Christ is distrustful and cold, but Christians, on the contrary, must be loving and open, otherwise we will lose the salt of Christ in ourselves and become like the world, fit to be thrown out and trampled under foot.
A little humility in how we look at ourselves would help us be more generous and forgiving of the mistakes of others. We love to judge others for the strangeness of their behavior; we call them "cuckoos" or "touched converts." Indeed, we must beware of truly unbalanced people who can bring great harm to the Church. But what serious Orthodox Christian today is not a little “touched”? We do not conform to the customs of this world, and even if we conform to them in today's world, then we are no longer genuine Christians. A genuine Christian cannot feel at home in the world and cannot help but seem a little “touched” to himself and others. In many countries, it is enough to adhere to the ideal of Christianity that is not of this world or to be baptized as an adult in order to end up in a madhouse, but these countries are paving the way for the whole world.
Therefore, let us not be afraid that the world will treat us as somewhat “touched”, and let us continue to cherish Christian love and forgiveness, which the world can never understand, but which, in the depths of its heart, it needs and even longs for. Finally, our Christian position must be - for lack of a better word - innocent. Nowadays the world attaches great importance to complexity, worldly experience, and “professionalism.” Orthodoxy does not attach any value to these qualities; they kill the Christian soul. And yet these properties continually penetrate the Church and our lives. How often one hears, especially from enthusiastic converts, about the desire to go to large centers of Orthodoxy, to cathedrals and monasteries, where thousands of believers gather and the conversation everywhere goes on church topics, and one can feel how important Orthodoxy is. This Orthodoxy is only a small drop in the bucket when you look at society as a whole, but in these large cathedrals and monasteries there are so many people that it seems that Orthodoxy really prevails. And how often do you see these people in a pitiful state after they have satisfied their desire and returned from the “great centers of Orthodoxy”, gloomy and disappointed, having heard enough of worldly church gossip, full of condemnation and concerned only with being “Orthodox”, “conforming” and worldly experienced in matters of church politics. In a word, they lost their innocence, their otherworldliness, and were confused because of their fascination with the worldly side of church life.
In various forms, this temptation confronts us all, and we must fight it, not allowing ourselves to overestimate the external in the Church, but always returning to the “only need” of Christ and the salvation of our souls from this kind of evil one. We must not close our eyes to what is happening in the world and in the Church - we need to know this for our own sake, but our knowledge must be sober, simple and straightforward, and not complicated and worldly.
Outward manifestation of Christianity
Maria, teacher, mother and university researcher: “It doesn’t matter where I am. But there are some practical points. If you see a temple, cross yourself. You pass by icons, including houses, too. You must always try to remember that God sees you and that you have a Guardian Angel, constantly turn to them and thank them.”
It is imperative, according to the thoughts of a long-time Christian, that it is necessary to treat one’s work conscientiously and try to participate in some good deeds for the Glory of God.
K. says: “I try to help morally and financially those who need it: sick friends, children from an orphanage, homeless animals. This all helps me keep faith."
Is it possible to be saved?
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God has prepared trials for us that are incomparable to anything that happened before. This happens with every generation of people - each has its own tests of strength and its own temptations. Man has no power to change the time of his appearance on earth, but he can always find a path to the life of the Future Age.
Our meaning is that we are Christians, people of Christ. This means that our salvation lies precisely in Him.
To fulfill the Gospel commandments, to do good deeds, to show patience, to be cleansed of sin by confession, to unite with the Lord during Holy Communion, all this is available in any century. Therefore, the path of salvation is open at any time. God is with us, he has not changed at all, despite any changes in science and technology.
Another thing is that people do not have the time and energy to do what can save them. After all, this is the greatest work; it requires forcing yourself to pray, visit church, and prepare to receive the Holy Gifts. No wonder the Gospel says:
The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force, and those who use force take it away (Matthew 11:12)
Thus, you need to put down your smartphone and go to pray, turn off the computer and read the Gospel. Give up a fun trip to barbecue on Sunday and go to church. Not everyone can do this, because there are so many interesting and entertaining things in a smartphone. The computer provides even more opportunities for entertainment. And your friends will be offended if you refuse to have a picnic with them.
So it turns out that temptation wins, distancing a person further and further from the Church.
Mortal memory
Even passing hearses can help. Remember your last one.
Tatyana believes: “When you remember that you are going to die, all your sins appear before your eyes, especially those that you have always hidden... This greatly helps to lead a repentant lifestyle.”
Irina remembered how she was at the funeral service in the monastery, when they were seeing off the famous old priest in Odessa: “After the funeral, you begin to think that everything and everyone has a deadline.”
“In my work,” says the faithful woman, “I’m an accountant and I know that everything has a deadline, you have to account for everything. Despite the weather, entertainment, desire, relationships at work, the date will come and you need to submit a report. So, the time will come and you will have to answer for all your sins, but I don’t know when it will come, you need to always be prepared, and there are a lot of distractions in the world. And you begin to live and think why to do this and what it will lead to.”
Should a Christian get married after a divorce?
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A second marriage can be a repeat of the same mistakes if there is no correction. It is worth thinking about the children for whom you have to bear responsibility, if they remain. Any relationship after a divorce can turn out to be a mistake and complicate life for both the person himself and his loved ones. Most often, they result in even greater experiences than after a divorce.
Before you decide to remarry, you should think about the following things:
- Are you ready to take responsibility for the new person in your life before God? Or is marriage needed in order to improve everyday life, solve economic and sexual issues, and not be alone?
- If your significant other realizes the mistake and wants to come back, are you ready to start all over again? Maybe it’s better not to enter into a new relationship while it’s still alive?
- Will the children accept the new marriage? Especially if you are forced to live with one of your parents?
The church does not give a clear answer to the question about family life after marriage. Some people should get married and improve their lives, while others should be left alone. Only prayer, reading spiritual literature, and the advice of holy elders will help a person find the answer to this question.
Gratitude
A Philadelphian of our time confesses: “First of all, I thank the Lord for everything that happens in life. I read a prayer of thanks, akathist “Glory to God for everything.” This helps me understand and accept all events in my life as a manifestation of Divine love. I often lack someone to talk to, and then I understand the value of prayer as an opportunity to talk with the Lord.”
Faith in a big city is a victory over loneliness, over fear and weakness. Christians in a metropolis can be the guardians of the Tradition of faith and church life. You must always be in Church, remember that you are a Christian. This means being faithful to Jesus Crucified in soul and body.
Priest Andrey Gavrilenko
