What prayers should a widow read for her deceased husband? How not to become despondent after the death of your beloved spouse? When is it customary to hold funeral dinners?
Some unexpected events can determine life ahead for many years and even decades. We all inevitably face death, and sooner or later we lose family and friends . However, some losses are especially difficult to cope with. These include the death of her husband, who was support and support for the woman.
How to cope with the loss of a loved one?
As with every newly deceased person, the widow’s prayer for her deceased husband is very important. But how can the wife herself survive this grief? How to find the strength to continue living without your beloved spouse, and what prayers to read for the repose of his soul?
The Power of Prayer
After the death of her husband , all a widow can do to support herself is to pray unceasingly . The ascended prayer will give her strength to live on and will help the soul of her deceased husband to quickly overcome obstacles on the path to reunification with God.
Light a symbolic candle. As long as you read, it will burn.
After the funeral ceremony, it is necessary to read the Psalter in order every day. You can read all 20 kathismas per day .
If during his lifetime the husband received the sacrament of Baptism, then a memorial service is ordered for the deceased in the church, and they also register the newly deceased for the funeral service, requiem service, liturgy and magpie for the repose. To find peace of mind, the widow herself needs to confess , take communion and communicate more often with the priest, who will tell her what else she can do to help her late husband, and how to survive such a painful loss.
The grief of losing her husband can lead a widow to the mortal sin of despondency.
And if you don’t carry out soul-saving conversations and don’t fight, then it can cause mental illness and mental disorders . In such a situation, it will be much more difficult to help, so you need to pray daily, especially the first forty days after the funeral .
How to cope with loss and survive the death of your husband
It is also recommended that the widow be left alone less often , so as not to indulge in sad thoughts that take away mental strength and exhaust a person, and to meet for conversations with family, friends and relatives.
How to write an obituary yourself?
Death of a loved one
We all remember folk tales: “they lived happily ever after and died on the same day.” Unfortunately, in reality, married life usually ends not so joyfully. A husband or wife does not go into eternity at the same time. Some of them will have to endure all the bitterness and severity of the loss of a loved one. For some, close and dear people help them cope with grief. Others are left alone with their feelings and experiences. Some people manage to live through the suffering, endure the pain and move on. Someone closes in on himself and cannot come to terms with the inevitable. After all, people often drive away thoughts of death like an infection. And for some, the prayer of a widow for her deceased husband helps.
Widow with a photo of her husband
Believers cope with the loss of their soulmate by trusting God and relying on Him. Christians remember the inevitability of death and believe that life does not end with the end of earthly existence. Death is a temporary separation from a loved one. And after some time, the spouses will unite again in the Heavenly Abode of God. Where there will be no sorrows, sorrows, earthly problems, but only the joy of being with God.
“...to survive earthly separation is simple. If your spouse went to God earlier, then you should be happy for him - God is better! And then we will follow him, and when, of course, as the Lord wills... Death is only a temporary separation, a transition” (Archpriest Valerian Krechetov).
Prayer for a deceased spouse every day
The prayers read for the deceased at home are almost the same, and can be said not only for the husband, but also for the wife, brother, sister, parents, and other relatives. Priests recommend turning to God in prayer in the morning, before all pressing matters and worries. After reading the prayer, you can ask the Lord in your own words for forgiveness for the soul of the deceased, even if the person was not baptized.
At home, it is recommended to read litia, Psalm 90. Sacred words, sincerely spoken by a loved one, will help the soul to rest, and the widow to find peace of mind. In addition to reading the Psalter, the spouse can read the following text:
“Our Savior Jesus Christ, Lord and Almighty of Heaven! You are a consolation for the suffering, and an intercession for the weeping widows. I, the servant of God (my name), in moments of sorrow, come running to You and pray for support. Turn your gaze upon me, O All-Merciful Lord, and hear my prayer, filled with pain and suffering. You, Lord Almighty, did not leave me alone in life and gave me the servant of God (the name of the deceased spouse) as a companion. By your good will, you took it away from me and now you have prepared for me to experience the loneliness of earthly life. I accept Your will and ask you to quench your mental suffering and sadness for my deceased husband (husband’s name). I bow before Your image, I ask you to accept my request and not refuse it. Remember, Lord, the soul of my deceased husband (name of spouse), forgive all sins, voluntary and involuntary, committed by him in earthly life. Do not let him pay for them with eternal torment and experience fiery Gehenna. I will pray for the forgiveness of all his sins, committed through foolishness, all my life, so that you do not punish our children and our grandchildren for them. Let his soul move into Your Kingdom and experience the joys there. For there is not a person on earth who has not sinned at least once. You alone, sinless Lord, only you have been granted the power to have mercy and save human souls. Amen".
In moments of spiritual testing, a person is weak and helpless. And true believers know that if relatives grieve furiously, the soul of the deceased suffers, and it is difficult for it to find peace in heaven. A widow’s prayer for her deceased husband allows her to overcome critical moments in life and find peace in such difficult moments as burial, 9- and 40-day memorials, and the anniversary of death.
How to cope with the death of your husband
After the death of her husband, especially a sudden one, a widow left alone will have to go through several life stages. She faces a journey from shock and misunderstanding of what happened to acceptance and the realization that she needs to move on with her life. This is a very difficult time. Some people need a few months to recover, while for others a few years are not enough. God will help you cope with the severity of your loss and give you genuine consolation. The main thing is to open your soul before Him and start praying. Prayer, like a life-giving source, will bring peace to the widow. Communication with Heavenly Father will help you survive the loss and heal your spiritual wound.
“Do not imagine death in a terrible form, but believe that it serves only as a transfer from time to eternity, and the Lord has placed time in His power” (Reverend Macarius of Optina (Ivanov)).
The fate of the soul after death
After death, the soul leaves the body and ascends to God to decide its posthumous fate. Unfortunately, one of the spouses can go to heaven, and the other to fiery Gehenna. Believers, when creating a family, strive to lead a pious lifestyle, helping each other. But loving spouses were always worried about their future in another world. Will husband and wife be together in the Kingdom of Heaven?
The Gospel of Matthew describes a dialogue between the Sadducees, who did not believe in the resurrection of the dead, and Christ. They cited the example of a woman whose husbands died one after another, leaving no heirs. Seven brothers took her as their lawful wife. The Sadducees asked whose wife she became after her death? To which the Lord replied:
“You are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God, for in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but remain as the angels of God in heaven” (Matthew 22:29-30).
Will spouses meet after death?
At first glance, it seems that the answer is unambiguous and does not involve options. Spouses will not be such after the end of earthly life. However, theologians and Bible interpreters interpret the Savior’s words not so categorically. Blessed Theophylact of Bulgaria writes that after the resurrection life will be spiritual and sublime, and not crudely carnal. Therefore, marriage in heaven can be viewed differently.
Archpriest Oleg Stenyaev explains:
“By paying attention to the word “how,” we understand that saved people will be like Angels, remaining human in the heavenly format of human existence. Consequently, the nature of the relationship between spouses will change. The focus of their life will cease to be what is the center of life here on earth - the BODY, but the interests of the SPIRIT will completely dominate. It is said: “There are heavenly bodies and earthly bodies; But there is another glory of those in heaven and another of those on earth” (1 Cor. 15:40). This is what Christ means when he says: “For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but remain as the angels of God in heaven.”
We cannot know for certain what life will be like for spouses in heaven. But we believe in God's mercy and His love for us. Widows pray for their husbands. Widowers - for wives. And each of those left to live hopes to meet their other half soon. Saints and priests call for this.
Widow's prayer for her deceased husband
It is very important to begin to pray intensely for your deceased spouse. After death, a person can no longer influence his posthumous fate. But close people can help him. After all, the deceased will have to meet with God to decide his posthumous fate. Thinking about a loved one, praying for him, doing good deeds of mercy in his memory, a woman not only helps him on his path to Eternity. But in this way she heals her grief. After all, any wound is healed by love, and sincere prayer is a manifestation of true love.
“We cannot do anything better or more for the departed than to pray for them, remembering them at the Liturgy. They always need this, especially in those forty days when the soul of the deceased follows the path to eternal settlements. The body then feels nothing: it does not see the gathered loved ones, does not smell the smell of flowers, does not hear funeral speeches. But the soul feels the prayers offered for it, is grateful to those who offer them, and is spiritually close to them” (St. John (Maximovich)).
Since ancient times, a pious tradition has developed to read the Psalter about the deceased. It brings comfort to the deceased and his relatives. The 17th kathisma, as well as Psalm 90, are most often read.
Why you need to pray for the dead
During life, a person himself can turn to God with a request or repentance, he himself does good or helps others, and takes care of his soul. All his deeds and actions later help him in the afterlife.
After death, this opportunity disappears, and the human soul can only hope for the help of loved ones who have not forgotten him. The Monk Paisios of Athos compared prayer for the deceased with offering food to a prisoner - just as food helps the latter survive suffering, so the holy text helps the soul to cleanse itself of sin and ease the posthumous fate. It is especially important to remember those who did not have time to repent during their lifetime.
This is also important for the relatives of the deceased. Turning to God helps them, eases the pain of loss and gives them hope.
Princess Elizabeth Feodorovna is an example of a praying widow
In memory of your husband, it is necessary to give alms and perform good deeds of mercy. An example of such cases is Grand Duchess Elizaveta Fedorovna Romanova. When her husband was killed, she sold all her jewelry. With the money she received, she founded the Martha and Mary Convent of Mercy in Moscow. She dedicated the rest of her life to those in need. Of course, not all people can achieve such a feat. But the biographies of Grand Duchess Elizabeth Feodorovna and her letters can console women facing grief.
Here's one of her tips
“Peace of heart, tranquility of soul and mind brought me the relics of St. Alexis. If only you could approach the holy relics in church and, after praying, simply venerate them with your forehead - so that the world would enter into you and remain there. I barely prayed - alas, I don’t know how to pray well, but I just fell: I fell like a child to its mother’s breast, not asking for anything, because he was at peace, from the fact that the saint was with me, on whom I could lean and don’t get lost alone.”
Confession and Communion in days of tribulation
Not only a widow’s prayer for her deceased husband can bring relief to both of them. You should attend divine services and begin Communion. Confession and the Eucharist are Sacraments that bring us closer to God. And He, in turn, gives strength to survive suffering. After the service and Communion, the widow feels peace, acute pain is replaced by quiet sadness. Prayer for a husband becomes not just a bunch of words, but sincere and real communication with God.
Feeling like part of a community of believers makes a person feel better. Common prayer with parishioners eases the severity of grief. You can ask the priest for a conversation where you can talk about your grief. There is a high probability that he will find words of consolation and support. And the priest will definitely pray for the repose of his spouse’s soul.
Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov says:
“The man was cut in half. You can then ask: “How are you feeling?” I feel like I’ve been cut in half. This is a very difficult situation. One parishioner of our church, after being widowed, took a year and a half to come to her senses! Women often come to me whose grief over a loss continues for five or eight years. The grief, of course, is dulled, but... What can you do? To avoid such pain from parting, you need to pray very hard for the repose of your soul. And then the wife’s soul will feel that the husband’s soul perceives this... You also need to take communion more often and after communion, turn to God in prayer that the Lord will allow you to bear this cross. Because if this is allowed, it means that for some reason God needs it this way. Otherwise they would live happily ever after and die on the same day.”
Prayer to the Most Holy Theotokos for the newly deceased
A very strong prayer for the newly deceased is an appeal to the Most Holy Theotokos. During her lifetime, the Most Pure Virgin Mary experienced a lot of grief associated with the loss of loved ones. Therefore, her prayers always calm, but most importantly, such appeals are necessarily taken into account by the Lord when carrying out the Judgment.
Prayer for the repose of the soul of the newly deceased
Until 40 days, the prayer to the Most Holy Theotokos for the newly deceased sounds as follows:
“Most Holy Lady of Heaven, Most Holy Theotokos! I resort to You with all sincerity, Our Intercessor and Comforter: You are an ambulance, our intercessor before the Almighty Lord. Today I ask you to help the newly departed servant of God (name of the deceased) to move into the unknown world at this hour. Drive away, Most Holy Theotokos, all fears from his soul and allow it to calm down. Preserve the soul of the deceased in ordeals, do not allow evil spirits to harm the soul in search of a bright path, become protection from the prince of darkness, a terrible tormentor of souls. I pray to you, our Intercessor, to become a supporter of the soul of the deceased servant of God (name of the deceased) at the Last Judgment of the Lord. Beg your Son to forgive him all his sins and not allow him to suffer terrible torment in fiery hell. Amen".
Prayer for the newly deceased after 40 days
After 40 days, you need to pray for the repose of the deceased, turning to the Most Holy Theotokos, on special days, and also when an internal need arises for this. You don't have to visit for this. You can offer a prayer to the Most Pure Virgin Mary at home in front of her image.
The prayer goes like this:
“Most Holy Theotokos, Lady of Heaven, hear my prayer and do not refuse help. I ask you for peace of mind for myself, a servant of God (my own name), in my sorrowful hour. My prayer is also for the repose of the soul of the deceased servant of God (name of the deceased person). By your power, the Lady of Heaven, drive away the fears of the unknown world from his soul, be next to him and lead him along bright paths, bypassing all the obstacles emanating from the prince of darkness. Be, Most Holy Theotokos, the protector of the soul of the deceased servant of God (name of the deceased person) before the Lord God, the Savior of mankind and your All-Merciful Son. I pray to you, Most Holy Theotokos, with your robe to always protect the soul of the deceased servant of God (the name of the deceased person) from any unknown dangers in this world. Forgive me, servant of God (proper name), for my daring request and do not refuse me it. Pray to Thy Only Begotten Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, to give rest to the deceased (name of the deceased) Amen.”
Widow's prayer for her deceased husband
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your tribulation, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I resort to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer, offered to You with tears.
You, Lord, Master of all, have deigned to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was your good and wise will to take away this servant of yours from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend. Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. As you once accepted two mites from widows, so accept this prayer of mine.
Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word or deed, whether through knowledge or ignorance, do not destroy him without cause. horse him and do not deliver him to eternal torment, but according to the greatness of Your mercy and according to the multitude of Your bounty, weaken and forgive all his sins and do it with Your saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, for the forgiveness of everything. his sins and his entry into the heavenly abodes, which you have prepared for those who love Ty.
Even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even until your last breath of confession; Moreover, his faith, even in Thee, instead of works was imputed to him: for there is no man who will live and will not sin, You are the only one besides sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and I confess that You will hear my prayer and will not turn Your face away from me. Seeing the widow weeping, you were moved with compassion, and you raised up her son for the burial of the son: so having mercy, calm and calm my sorrow.
For You opened the door of Your mercy to Your servant Theophilus, who went to You, and You forgave him for his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, heeding the prayers and kindly to the shame of his wife: I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into eternal life. For You are our hope. You are God, who has mercy and saves, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Why read prayers
According to church canons, it is very important to read prayers for the newly deceased in the first forty days after death. During this period, the human soul comes to God's court to decide where to go next to heaven or hell.
After death, a person cannot alleviate his lot, but relatives can do this for him. Commemoration at the Divine Liturgy and alms with a request to remember will help soften the fate at the Last Judgment. Important days for the soul are:
- third,
- ninth,
- the fortieth day, when she goes through the ordeal.
The second prayer of a widow for her deceased husband
Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the eternal life of Your servant, (name of the deceased), who passed away, and as the Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all her voluntary and involuntary sins, deliver him from eternal torment and the fire of Gehenna, and grant her the communion and enjoyment of Your eternal good things, prepared for those who love You: even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, God glorified by You in the Trinity, faith, and Unity in Trinity and Trinity in Unity, Orthodox even to his last breath of confession.
Be merciful to him, and faith, even in You instead of deeds, and with Your saints, as You give generous rest: for there is no man who will live and not sin. But You are the One besides all sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever, and You are the One God of mercies and generosity, and love for mankind, and to You we send glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
What prayer to read for the deceased until 40
Immediately after death, a prayer is said over the deceased for the separation of soul and body. Then the Psalter is read for three or forty days. This is not easy and all relatives read it one by one. Any lay person can also read, but the presence of a relative is preferable. Sorokoust is ordered in the first three days, as well as for forty days, six months or a year. During this period, prayers will be prayed for the deceased person.
The funeral service is ordered before the funeral. Relatives of the deceased attend church on any day and place a candle on the eve table, which is located in the church on the left side. Before this, they are baptized twice, light a candle and place it in a special cell with the words: “Rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name).” To ensure that the candle grips well, the other side is heated a little over the fire. They can be placed on any day from the first to the fortieth.
From the ninth to the fortieth day you should especially pray for the deceased person. On days like these:
- come before the start of the divine service and submit a note in which they indicate the “newly deceased” and his name;
- Kutya, which is made from wheat with honey, is brought to church for services.
Wheat is a symbol of life after death, and honey is the joy of life in paradise. Kutya is consecrated and blessed by the priest. Then you can take her to the funeral dinner.
The lithium is read at the grave of the deceased, it is read in the house with the deceased and in the church. The fortieth day is considered the most important for the soul of a deceased person and church prayer is performed on this day. If relatives cannot gather on the fortieth day, then the memorial can be celebrated earlier.
After forty days, a liturgy is held on parental Saturdays:
- on Radonitsa and the anniversary of death;
- for those killed in military service - on Dmitrievskaya Saturday and May 9.
A year after the death, a prayer note is submitted, the cemetery is visited, and relatives are invited to a memorial dinner.
Psalm 90
Living in the help of the Most High, he will settle in the shelter of the Heavenly God. Says the Lord: Thou art my Protector and my Refuge. My God, and I trust in Him. For He will deliver you from the snare of the trap, and from rebellious words, His splash will overshadow you, and under His wing you hope: His truth will surround you with weapons. Do not be afraid from the fear of the night, from the arrow that flies during the day, from the thing that passes in darkness, from the cloak, and from the demon of the midday. Thousands will fall from your country, and darkness will fall at your right hand, but it will not come close to you, otherwise you will look at your eyes, and you will see the reward of sinners.
For You, O Lord, are my hope, You have made the Most High your refuge. Evil will not come to you, and wound will not approach your body, as His Angel commanded you to keep you in all your ways. They will lift you up in their arms, but not when you dash your foot on a stone, step on an asp and a basilisk, and cross a lion and a serpent. For I have trusted in Me, and I will deliver, and I will cover, and because I have known My name. He will call to Me, and I will hear him: I am with him in sorrow, I will overcome him, and I will glorify him, I will fill him with long days, and I will show him My salvation.
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