The Elder's Instructions
Archpriest Nikolai Guryanov (1909–2002). Probably, many Orthodox Christians have heard about the priest as a great elder. For more than 40 years he served in the Church of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker on the island of Talabsk (Zalit) of the Pskov diocese.
Being himself a great elder, Archimandrite John (Krestyankin) said about Archpriest Nikolai Guryanov that he is “the only truly perspicacious elder in the territory of the former USSR.” In this article we have collected the priest’s truly priceless instructions to us, the laity.
So, the archpriest said the following:
— “Our thoughts and words have great power on the world around us. Pray with tears for everyone - the sick, the weak, sinners, for those for whom there is no one to pray. Constantly cry out to the Sweetest Savior of the world: “Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
- “God listens to the prayers of righteous people. What people cannot achieve with weapons in their hands, the righteous achieve through prayer.”
— “The grace of God is given to us in the Sacraments. Especially in Holy Communion. Unite with Christ as often as your conscience and repentance allow you. Come to the Lord with love and faith - and He will burn away everything sinful, and your soul will be whiter than snow. Fiery white... The grace of Communion is a power indestructible for darkness, delivers from all misfortunes.”
- “Call upon the Mother of God, ask Her for Grace, which will be poured out on the human race in all ages:
“Rejoice, O Most Gracious One, the Lord is with You... Grant us, the unworthy, the dew of Your grace, and show Your Mercy.”
- “Don't be too strict. Excessive strictness is dangerous. It stops the soul only at external achievement, without giving depth. Be softer, don't chase external rules. Converse mentally with the Lord and the saints.”
— “Try not to teach, but to gently suggest and correct each other. Speak if your heart is not silent. Heart to Heart. Be simple and sincere. The world is like God’s... Look around - all creation thanks the Lord. And you live like this – in peace with God.”
“Obedience...It begins in early childhood. From obedience to parents. These are our first lessons from the Lord. If a child did not obey his parents, then it is difficult to convert him to Faith in Christ.”
- “Remember that all people are weak and sometimes unjust. Learn to forgive and not be offended. It’s better to move away from those who cause you harm - you won’t be loved by force... Don’t look for friends among people. Look for them in Heaven - among the saints. They will never leave or betray.”
- “Seek purity. Don’t listen to bad and dirty things about anyone... Don’t dwell on an unkind thought... Flee untruths... Never be afraid to speak the truth, only with prayer and, first, ask for blessings from the Lord.”
- “You are all looking only for spiritual fathers... But you forget the Gospel... We all have One Spiritual Father - the Gospel. This is the meaning of life, our Living Faith, Hope and Love... It even hurts me that they only look for a person, and forget the Lord... It’s good if there is a reasonable, believing priest to whom you can turn, this is happiness... But if the Lord did not send - Is it impossible to be saved?!”
- “Don’t judge the priests strictly, who is who... The main thing is that he is a believer, God-fearing, and preaches the Gospel.”
- “You need to live not only for yourself... Try to quietly pray for everyone... Don’t push anyone away or humiliate anyone. The Lord did not offend anyone... And if you are humiliated, remember how the Savior and Tsar-Martyr Nicholas were crucified..."
- “Our life is blessed... A gift from God... We have a treasure within us - a soul. If we save it in this temporary world, where we came as strangers, we will inherit Eternal Life with Christ. Joy, unspeakable joy... Angels and Saints are waiting for us. Lord the Father and Queen of Heaven... How happy we are, that we are right and glorious – Orthodox.”
— “Mystery and intimacy distinguish the stay on earth of those who are exalted in spirit and heart. People close to God are silent and rarely reveal themselves, for they all keep within themselves the Divine secret, which the world not only cannot, but also does not want to contain.”
“My heart has always been with the Lord,” said Father.
– I tried to learn spiritual crying from childhood... I’ve been a monk since childhood. Those at home did not enter my cell without prayer - a monk... They knew that I was praying, talking with the Lord... I didn’t know or see anyone except God.”
- “You just can’t get embittered and correct what you have done with evil... The evil that exists in the world cannot be corrected with evil. God did not create evil. Lord Gracious. Only by the grace of God are we saved. Salvation is only from God... We - Orthodox Christians - live on earth to prepare for Eternity... And we must fight evil - but in such a way that we ourselves do not fall away from Divine Love.” Father Nicholas was asked if the Tsar could have changed anything in the trials that befell us, and Father once said:
“The Tsar hoped to save Russia from the evil that had happened. I really wanted it. But they became cowardly and betrayed. The worst thing is that the clergy did not understand the Tsar... They did not stand up for Him. There is no sin on the Emperor for renunciation. When the Power was in the grave, the Mother of God the Power appeared.”
— “A believer has a loving attitude towards everything that surrounds him. He lives according to the Gospel and always tries to do everything according to the Word of the Lord,” Father Nikolai tirelessly repeated.
Father often repeated:
- “Believe in the Lord without doubt. The Lord Himself lives in our hearts and there is no need to look for Him somewhere there...far away.”
Father loved the instructions of Isaac the Syrian: “Go into your heart, and you will find in it a ladder to ascend to the Kingdom of God.” Only he simplified:
- “Know yourself and that’s enough for you.”
God bless everyone!
Temple of St. Blessed Xenia of Petersburg
PRAYER “LORD HAVE MERCY”
Of all the prayers that I know, I sing in my soul or read out loud, with which the wondrous power breathes the Prayer “Lord, have mercy.” One request in it, not much! I only ask for mercy from God, To save me with His power, I cry out: “Lord, have mercy.” I swim in the stormy sea of life, I meet joys and sorrows; From what storms did you escape by force? The prayer “Lord, have mercy.” And the grief melted, and joy brought me twice the sweetness, And all this was the wondrous power of the Prayer “Lord, have mercy.” When tears flowed from grief, Or passionate dreams confused me, Then with special strength in my heart I repeated: “Lord, have mercy.” I am already close to the final brink, But still with hot tears, Although with the strength of a withered body I pray: “Lord, have mercy.” The soul, having ended its earthly life, repeat this prayer, and no other, there too, behind the grave, with hope: “Lord, have mercy.”
DON'T GROOM
Don’t complain, man, that you are small and ignorant, that the life you have lived is incomprehensible to people. He is assigned to you by Him Who distributes the lot of service on earth; That is His purpose. Do not grumble, poor people, Without a corner and without bread, Know that your burden is a special gift from heaven... Do not grumble, you who are sick with a long-term illness, Through that holy Cross You will be a friend to the Lord. Do not complain that blasphemy poisons your life, Know that the praise of earth reduces the reward of heaven. Don’t complain that your friends abandoned you in grief, God will not abandon you in this sea of life. Poverty, evil and illness - The grave will cover everything, Keep your spirit pure - This is the power of truth. Believe, hope, endure the Cup of troubles - without a doubt, And you will save the soul For the heavenly villages.
STAR OF BETHLEHEM
In the heights of heaven, many stars are burning, but one shines brighter than all with joy. That is the star of the Child and the King of Kings, - He was laid in a manger by His Mother. And the wise men from the east follow the Star, and bring gifts with love to the Lord. Brothers! Let us hasten to receive the Lord, Let us hasten to give you bread and salt cordially - He will take this bread with the hands of the poor and send us a blessing for it.
IN THE MORNING HEAR MY VOICE
Tomorrow hear my voice, my King and my God! Fears, ghosts, dreams - Spawn of the darkness of the night, Disperse and crush with the light of the joyful right hand! Passions, murmurs, the spirit of pride - These are the tares of the soul, Plow away, with the reins of faith, Plow the aching chest, And moisten the soil of the heart with tears of humility, And graciously plant the seed of holy wheat: Prepare, O Lover, a pure field of love, A good sacrifice, O All-Powerful, In the field of my days come out. And cultivate me all over, Revive and renew - Let the ripe ear vegetate in the depths of my soul!.. Heart holder! Write the poor name in the Book of Life, May I not, unprepared, throw off my earthly cover from my spirit. Tomorrow hear my voice, my King and my God!
THE EVIL WAY
My path is dangerous and sad; I enter with involuntary trepidation; I haven’t walked along it yet, And I don’t know that country yet. No one knows me either, And it’s in vain to wait for consolation! The leaders... I’m afraid, It’s terrible for me to even look at them. And He, calling for judgment! How will I look at Him then?! The King of life and death, He calls us there with authority. Hallelujah!
LORD, HAVE MERCY, LORD, FORGIVE...
Lord, have mercy, Lord, forgive. Help me, God, to convey my Cross. You walked Your thorny path with love, You carried the Cross silently, Breaking your chest. And, crucified for us, You suffered a lot, You prayed for your friends, You grieved for your enemies. I am weak in soul, I am also weak in body, And I am a criminal slave of sinful passions. I am a great sinner On my earthly path, I grumble, I cry... Lord! Sorry. Help me, God! Give me the strength of strength, So that I extinguish my passions in my heart... Help me, God! With a generous hand, bestow patience, joy and peace. I am a great sinner on my earthly path... Lord, have mercy. Lord, forgive me!
PATIENCE
Don't be sad, don't be sad: The time of happiness will come again; Wait, be patient, there is a reward for those who wait! For those of us who suffer here, there is a crown for suffering; Who doesn't shed tears here? But they too will come to an end! Everything in life - everything is temporary, We are given for a short moment: Sweetness of happiness, burning burden - All one moment. Life itself is one moment, Joy is a bright dream, Sorrow is the ghost of a dream, All worries are vanity! Wait, be patient, - There is a reward for those who wait; Don't be sad, don't be sad; Time flies - everything will pass.
ALL HOLY VIRGIN
O Ever-Virgin All-Holy and Mother of Light! Calling before You with tenderness, I ask, I pray with all my soul: Extend, extend Your prayers, Extend them to Your Son For peace, mercy, forgiveness for this departed Servant! Yes, through your wonderful prayer, the hope of sinners of all ages, he will meet with mercy on the day of judgment and remission of sins. You, the Son, in meekness, jealous, Always, the Lady, before Him, with good boldness, you can pray: Hallelujah!
PRAYER TO THE HOLY VIRGIN
In obscurity, humbly In Nazareth You blossomed, In the midst of prayers, in solitude, Your life flowed peacefully. But God has blessed You with His Holy Right Hand, And He has destined the Meek Virgin to be the Heavenly Queen. The heavenly light shone on the unknown monastery. The celestial being came to you with joyful news. You listened to the good news with a troubled soul, but with humility you said: “The will of God be with Me!” Everything has come true - Your Porphyry, More beautiful than all earthly porphyries! Your Son is God, the Savior of the world! The world bowed before You! But you also endured many difficult trials! She was an accomplice to the Lord's sufferings! You prayed, you languished; But You did not burn with enmity towards the culprits of sorrows... You prayed for people!.. And now, remembering the hour of Your Dormition, We cry out: “Most Holy One, Intercede - have mercy on us!” There are many storms in the sea of life! Among its angry waves, Without Your protection, our fragile boat will soon perish! Give us strength to resist the raging passions within us! Show us the path to salvation, To safe shores! Let us be taken by the grave, strangers to the world of vanity! Let me rest as You rested, And let me wake up where You are!..
BEFORE THE ICON OF THE HOLY ARCHISTRATIG MICHAEL
Supreme Leader and Voivode, Archangel of the Supreme Powers, And the warm Intercessor of the human race, Michael, Guardian of the Testament of God, And for warring spirits, a Thunderstorm and a fiery Warrior, And the prince of all angelic ranks! To you with a suffering soul I soar from the troubles of life and with a touching tear, Mystery of God, I say: “You see the pathetic waste of all my priceless gifts. The grace given to me by the Spirit, And the war with me of my enemies. From the days of infancy until now, my enemies have oppressed me, And I, both in thought and in deed, have already been plundered and crushed from them. Where is the path that leads us to God? There are no feelings with me, no good deeds, Serious sin - anxiety of passions, This is the path of all my paths! Driven by heartfelt delusion by the movement of my own passions, I was often a victim of corruption In the prime of my first young days. In the temptations of the demonic battle, I forgot to even think about taking the shield of Divine prayer and with it to gloriously defend the innocence of the heart, the holiness of feeling, that God gave everything to me in baptism, and I fell mortally from my own violence in that enemy battle! Enemies are pressing me... under their captivity I have been languishing all my life. And modestly, in an oppressed feeling, I pray to You, my Angel: You see, Angel, the evil enemy crushed me in the path of life. And I lost the lamp of eternal glory In the darkness of sin... And I was so captured by the demonic force, so tightly I was taken, That the heart of God stopped loving, Doesn’t want to listen, or even know His laws, commands, And only asks every moment Some sinful pleasures, Dreaming of finding happiness in them!.. What will happen to me when I again Give free rein to my heart, When I turn from the path of Christ into hell and demonic darkness? How then will I, from this life, appear in the bright Heaven and spiritually fly to the glory of the heavenly Fatherland without wings?.. I pray to you in contrition, the Ethereal Powers of the Archangel: protect me from falling Everywhere, in all my ways. Guard me from vice with your guardian wing, And, like a ray of the eternal East, Here be my lamp. When I hear the call from corruptible life, and the hour strikes, - To my soul, corrupted by sin, Then you will be both life and light; Shine an airy path for her to Heaven, Scatter the hostile regiments, Free the stuffy prisons And undecaying chains!.. Oh, let me see my desired paradise! Be my guide to him, and honor me with the light of glory, my angel!..”
AT THE CROSS
Oh, come, my weary, weary brother; Here, under the shadow of the Cross, there are no barriers for the heart. Rest your aching soul. You are tired, exhausted on the path of life; Your cross weighs you down, your heart aches in your chest, and you are overwhelmed by human malice. Don’t be sad, dear, let your soul be cold, At the foot of the Cross there is a lot of strength and warmth, A lot of affection, love, forgiveness. Oh, come quickly, here holy love calls the oppressed by fate, the dejected, and is ready to give relief to everyone. Let the mind be silent - come with love and make both Christ’s footstool, placing the burden of sorrow before Him. You are not without a heart, not without a look, my friend, So as not to see Christ - His Royal Face - Shedding a source of tears before Him. Surrender yourself entirely to Him, His will is strong, To lighten the earthly Cross, to take the burden from you, To strengthen your sick heart. Oh, will the Head under the crown of thorns, with this royal, blood-drenched face, not soften you with his power? Will not those ulcers of wounded hands reveal to you all the cruelty of those torments, How He suffered, dying for us? Will not the pierced heart of Christ teach us to suffer and endure to the end, trusting ourselves to His will? Look, He did not open His Divine lips, Because He loved so holy, so deeply, Subduing Himself to the will of the Father. Oh, come, my weary, weary brother; Here, under the shadow of the Cross, there are no barriers for the heart. Rest your aching soul.
REQUEST TO THE MOTHER
Mom, mom, what are you thinking? What do you want to create? Do you secretly want to destroy the blood fruit of your womb? Haven’t you ever heard about this, mother, that even the fetus was killed by you and is awaiting the Lord’s Judgment? In the bright day or secret night You will commit murder You will ruin me, mother And again you are in a hurry to sin. Know mom, I see everything. Even though I was ruined by you, But my living soul will meet you again. You lead my brothers and sisters by the hand. They are as bright as the sun, but you walk gloomy. You enter the Temple of the Lord, stand before the Lord, and look at the Savior with sad eyes. Your heart is troubled by sorrow, tears fill your eyes. You pray to God for the living, but never for me. I live in darkness without light In endless darkness, Mom, I am waiting for the Lord’s judgment And I am worried about you. For your sisters and brothers, you warm a candle to God, You give abundant alms to poor wanderers. You forgot about me and don’t want to remember, and show alms to a poor sufferer. Just think, my mother, That I lie dead: I see everything, I hear everything, But I cannot say. You brought my brothers and sisters into the world, baptized them, gave them communion, I don’t have a baptism. Listen, my mother, how the whole earth is crying. Like babies cry bitterly, complaining to God about you. Don’t think, my mother, that you will live forever, but death will come with a scythe to separate your soul from your body. Then, my mother, we will meet you. You will tell me with sorrow, with tears: “My son! Oh, how beautiful you are, Slender young man standing. Didn’t you really grow up here and talk to me like a murderer?” The son is ready to forgive the murder of his own mother, but the Lord will severely punish for the broken law. The Lord will strictly judge foolish mothers for killing their own children in their wombs. Without witnesses he will condemn you to endure eternal torment. It will be terrible to burn in a river of fire after death. Mom, mom, I cry, I grieve for your soul, Do not destroy your soul anymore, Have pity on your soul. Don’t teach all your sisters and brothers evil deeds, Because the time is near, The Time of the Last Judgment. Remember, Lord, all the nameless babies and baptize them in the sea of Your bounties.
ANSWER:
Who told you that after a divorce it will become easier and that this is even a way out? This is the worst decision - admitting that you are complete failures in family life. If your leg hurts, should you chop it off right away? If your relationship with your parents or children is difficult, should you also renounce them or get a divorce? How so? You had to think before the wedding, and when the family is created, you need to take care of it with ALL YOUR FORCE! Why blame the navigator when the captain is wrong? If you don't know how to steer a ship, you don't deserve to be a captain. Why blame your wife? Thus, you only confirm that you are wrong. It's a shame to listen to you. You and only you are to blame! As a man, as the head of the family - as the most important and responsible for everything. Find the courage to admit your mistakes and correct them. After all, when a family collapses, shame on the man!!! Shame and disgrace. He failed in his most important role as head of the family, betrayed, ran away, became cowardly.
Prot. Nikolay Guryanov. How to save a family
Explain to me why you are getting married at all??? To assert yourself, to be like everyone else, to show off your beautiful wife to your friends? Well, is that what a family is created for? The point of family is to LEARN TO LOVE! But we just don’t know how to love, and this is the reason for all our troubles and sorrows. Love is not just a gift from above, but also our work. The work is not easy, but blessed - the most important in life. And we don’t even want to work for the sake of our happiness. I would rather run away from problems and get a divorce. How stupid. But with the other wife it will be the same, if not a hundred times worse. So are we going to run? It's not about the wife, but about you. Until you learn to love and be the real head of the family, you will suffer and suffer all your life. What do they say there? Does the fish rot from the head? I don’t make excuses for women, but a lot of responsibility still lies with the man, because... he's in charge.
Remember forever. In family life, follow only one formula for happiness: THE HEAD OF THE WIFE IS THE HUSBAND, AND THE HEAD OF THE HUSBAND IS GOD! And if it’s different, then everything collapses and burns with fire. You need to stop sorting things out with your wife and blaming her - this is a flawed position, and even more so, sharing your family problems with other people - you cannot do this. My friends and advisers also advise me to get a divorce and destroy my family - is it they who wish you so well? You need to urgently and seriously take up your spiritual life, go to church, talk to the priest alone, confess, take communion and live like this always - with faith. Then you and your family will lead your family correctly, and a kind, loving and prudent spouse will have the same wife! Faith will help us save our souls from evil and become happy.
Good Shepherd
Repentance, recognition of YOUR mistakes and correction - this is the main key to renewal and salvation of relationships!!! I know what I'm talking about. With God's help, your feelings with your wife will be transformed so that you will love each other a million times more than on your wedding day and your happiest days! Thank God there are a LOT of such examples in my practice. Love and tenderness will rise with renewed vigor, God will show His reward for your work and fidelity, just save your family!
I ask you, read these words from the Bible many times over: “LOVE is patient, kind, does not envy, love does not boast, is not proud, does not act rudely, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. LOVE NEVER ENDS".
Prot. Nikolay Guryanov.
The Lord brought you together for a reason... It is a great miracle and blessing that you found each other in a world where there is so much pain and loneliness. Your spouse was sent to you by God and this is exactly the woman who should be with you and how much beauty there is in her! Notice and cultivate only the good, the good. Be patient, difficulties will pass, everything will be fine. Just save your family, don’t give up. I beg you!!! A lot, almost everything, depends on you, as a man. Pray, forgive each other. Yes, we are all imperfect, we are all not without sin. But Love is when you can forgive EVERYTHING. Love is when you give your life for your loved one. With joy, without fear. Love is loving even if you are not loved. The rest is all bullshit, not love. I prayerfully wish you love and happiness!
Author:
Tatiana
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QUESTION:
Father, what should I do? I have been living with my wife for 4 years, no children. We live like on a powder keg, we fight forever, we sort things out. It's hard with her. Before the wedding everything was fine, and then they changed her. He is jealous, grumbling, angry and blaming me for everything. She, of course, is a beauty to me, a prominent girl - I was a fool for this and fell for it. I thought everyone would be jealous, but now I’m suffering. So many of her shortcomings were revealed. Where was I looking before? Maybe it's not too late to get a divorce? My friends and mother advise me this way. The love passed anyway, the feelings cooled down. Why are we torturing each other?
