Cheating on your wife or husband - is it a sin? Does God punish? (Explanations of the priests)

All religions of the world have their own canons, commandments, which a believer should be guided by. The Book of Life of the Bible indicates ten main commandments, for violation of which God punishes the sinner if he does not realize his sin and does not atone for disobedience with sincere repentance and prayer.

People, if they are married and violate the commandments, allow impurity into their thoughts, hearts, and commit adultery. Orthodoxy condemns adultery and believes that adultery is a sin, because the seventh commandment of the Lord says: “You shall not commit adultery.”

Natural need or deviation

The biological reasons for cheating lie in instincts. They are millions of years old and have roots in the wild. The purpose of any biological species is to produce healthy offspring. A quick and effective search for a partner was possible only under conditions of free choice.

Nature has arranged everything so that men have a higher reproductive resource than women. They are able to have offspring for many years of life in unlimited quantities. If the chosen female refused the male, he easily found another.

Women are more selective. Their task is to reproduce healthy offspring. To do this, they choose the best males. Compared to men, women's reproductive resource is limited by age. From this theory it is concluded that men are more likely to cheat than women.

The biological program laid down by nature works in each of us. It pushes you to actions that are difficult to explain. However, evolution preferred the development of intelligence and self-control. Today, Homo sapiens lives in society and obeys its laws.

Instincts, which in ancient times could be explained by biological needs, today are more likely to be considered deviations from respectable behavior.

How to resist temptation?

In order to avoid temptation, a believer should be wary of sources that evoke unclean feelings: seductive shows, paintings, books, films. Factors that can push a person to sin also include shameless singing, dancing, and drinking alcohol.

Beware of the temptation to arouse lustful desires in others with your appearance, especially for women and young girls. True love cannot be achieved through too short, revealing, provocatively bright clothes, makeup and immodest behavior. Love is a candle that warms the soul. It should not be confused with the fire of passion, which burns everything in its path. Passion quickly passes, leaving the ashes of disappointment and pain. Love is a sublime feeling that only grows stronger over time. It creates, but passion only destroys.

Is betrayal always a betrayal?

People understand betrayal in different ways. The degree to which a partner is distracted by another person can vary in severity. There are several types:

• flirting;
• close friendship;
• short-term intimacy without continuation;
• long-term intimate relationships.

In addition to different types, the severity is affected by the frequency of their repetitions. Consistency is an important factor. You can show a surge of inexplicable emotions just once and become intimate. It happens that a person systematically prefers a disorderly choice and makes it more often than he would like. It happens that a full-fledged partner is on the side, requiring emotional and financial costs.

We often hear about communication with the opposite sex within the limits of what is “permissible.” In this concept, a person sets boundaries for himself, beyond which he does not go. In relationships, he shows self-control in order to be able to stop in time.

For some people, such “limited” communication increases their self-esteem. As strange as it may sound, “playful” behavior strengthens family relationships. In this case, there can be no talk of any betrayal.

Psychologists believe that in the modern world it is impossible to isolate yourself from others. An active lifestyle, a wide circle of acquaintances, business and free communication contribute to the emergence of relationships with other people. How far they will go depends on the psychological and emotional climate between the spouses. Sexual relationships do not always play a decisive role.

How to atone for the sin of adultery

Having stumbled once, you should not give up on yourself. Life does not end here and there is a chance to correct the situation. For redemption you need:

• Confess.
• Sincerely repent of your wrongdoing.
• Pray.
• Take communion.
• Keep all the commandments.

Only after this can you count on forgiveness. But this is only possible with true repentance, otherwise there is no point.

Is it possible to forgive an adulterer?

According to religious tenets, it is believed that if a spouse forgives a traitor, then he himself becomes a sinner. But if this was preceded by bitter and sincere repentance, and the adulterer intends to atone for his sin, then one must forgive him and let go of the insults.

After all, forgiveness and mercy play an important role in religion. And if God is ready to forgive us our sins if we repent, then what right do we have to refuse this mercy?

Hatred and resentment in the heart destroy the soul. By showing mercy and forgiving your offenders, you will find harmony and peace in your soul. So, first of all, it is worth forgiving the repentant sinner for your own sake.

Reasons for cheating

For close partners and spouses, the desire to communicate “on the side” does not appear just like that. This happens for several reasons.

1. Fading feelings.

The power of habit manifests itself in a dulling of the desire to please a partner every day from morning to evening. There is no one else to conquer. There's no need to tiptoe around. Living together in everyday life of two different people reveals hidden character traits, habits, reveals a secret past, etc.

1. Problems appear.

With the emergence of difficulties, obligations and the need to solve various kinds of problems, there is a reluctance, and sometimes even a protest, to do anything.

1. A way of self-affirmation.

Some try to “recharge” themselves with energy and become convinced of their own importance. For some men, a mistress is like an expensive car. It should be without explanation. Accumulating pretty women is included in the list of advantages of a status man.

A common phenomenon that can be explained, even justified, from a psychological point of view, has never been welcomed by religion.

Treason in Orthodoxy

It is known that marriages are made in heaven. This is a sacred union of two people for life, regardless of difficulties and troubles, illnesses and material conditions. In order to understand the sin or not treason in Orthodoxy, it is enough to turn to two concepts.

Cheating is the sin of adultery. Carnal temptations are regarded as an abomination and betrayal. A man, through his actions, voluntarily destroys his family. Even if the deed is hidden, internal torment and shame will never leave him alone.

Treason remains relatively harmless as long as it is kept secret. However, people say that everything secret ever becomes clear.

Sins against the Sacrament of Marriage

Father Konstantin was born into an amazing family of simple and pious peasants Aglaya and Nikolai Mikhok: of their ten children, all six sons became priests, and by now there are already 30 priests in this glorious family. Representatives of the priestly family of Mihok often gather together, make pilgrimages, making a strong impression on others, serve together in the temple, and then they do not always have enough space.

How to create such families, what their prosperity is based on - Father Constantine teaches about this in his book “The Sacrament of Marriage and the Orthodox Family according to the Teachings of the Great Fathers of the Church of the 4th Century.” In the chapter “Sins against the Sacrament of Marriage,” he examines five sins: disrespect of the husband (wife), adultery (adultery), incest, sexual perversion, murder of babies in the womb. We offer readers of the Pravoslavie.Ru portal a part of this chapter concerning the sin of adultery. The text is abbreviated.

Adultery

“And without are dogs, and sorcerers, and fornicators, and murderers, and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices iniquity.” (Rev. 22:15)

It is difficult for Saint John Chrysostom to talk about this sin, so vile and vile, so he apologizes, saying: “Let no one blame me, for I do not strive to adorn myself with the beauty of words, but to make those who listen to me beautiful and respected […]. However, a doctor who is about to open a rotten wound does not think about how to keep his hands clean, but about how to save the patient from this wound.”

Adultery is a great sin, a grave violation of the will and law of God and is always adultery, unlike the sin of fornication. Saint John Chrysostom clarifies very clearly what the sin of adultery, or betrayal, consists of, saying:

“Adultery is called not only when you have a relationship with a woman who is married to another man, but also if you, a man who has his own wife and is associated with her, sins with another.” And again: “This is called adultery not only when someone lusts after a woman who is married to another man, but also when the woman is not married, but he is married and is related to his lawful wife.”

The saint adds: “If someone who was married and left his wife, and then again has a relationship with her, is guilty of adultery, then he is even more guilty of it when he has a relationship with a strange woman.”

St. John Chrysostom says that treason is “deviation from the Law, greed and theft, and even more than theft.”

He condemns treason not only for the copulation itself, but above all for the injustice and greed of the person committing it. We are talking, on the one hand, about injustice in relation to a woman, and on the other hand, about injustice in relation to the man whose wife was kidnapped. As a result, one woman becomes common to several men, and thus “even the laws of nature” are perverted. After all, God created man as “male and female,” combining them into one body.

Thus, adultery is also theft, because, as St. Paul teaches, “the wife has no power over her own body, but the husband does; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does” (1 Cor. 7:4). Therefore, Saint John advises those who are tempted by some prodigal woman to answer her like this: “This body is not mine, but that of my wife.” In the same way, let a woman say to “those who want to violate her chastity”: “This body is not mine, but my husband’s.”

However, betrayal is much greater than theft, “for we do not suffer as much,” says the same saint, “when our money is stolen as when our marriage is stolen.”

Treason is disobedience to God and collaboration with the devil, for “what relates to adultery,” says St. John Chrysostom, “is not committed by the devil himself.” That is why the holy Apostle Paul adds the words “because of your intemperance” to the admonition “so that Satan does not tempt you” (cf. 1 Cor. 7:5).

In the time of St. John, the prevailing mentality was that “if a man commits fornication with his maidservant or an unmarried woman, the sin is not so great.” Therefore, Saint John clearly states: “Whether you have carnal relations with the queen, or with your domestic servant, the sin is the same. Why? Because through such an act you have acted unfairly not so much to this woman as to yourself. You have soiled yourself, but at the same time you have not honored God. Because if you have relationships with other people’s women, whether they are married or unmarried, for you it is adultery, because you have bypassed your wife. God is punishing you because you did not honor Him, because you did not despise this woman as much as you despised God, who sees everything.”

Also, according to the ancient mentality, tradition and even the provisions of Roman laws, pagan in essence, still in force at the end of the 4th century, a woman who disgraced her husband was punished, no matter in what situation she sinned and regardless of whom she sinned with, while a man was not punished except in one case - if he was caught sinning with a married woman. His sinful relationships with prodigal women or maidservants were tolerated.

Of course, this state of affairs was a reflection of the opinion so prevalent in the Greco-Roman world that women were inferior in rights to men. However, Saint John Chrysostom clarifies that God will judge and punish people not according to Roman laws, but according to His Law, and shows that any infidelity of a spouse is treason, regardless of the social status of the one with whom the iniquity is committed. He says:

“I know that many consider it cheating only if you seduce a married woman; and I say that he has relations with an ordinary harlot, a maidservant, or any unmarried woman, but if he has his own wife, then this is treason.”

Adultery and fornication generally dishonor the body - this is God’s creation, a member of Christ and the temple of the Holy Spirit, according to the teaching of the holy Apostle Paul, who says: “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? So, shall I take away the members of Christ to make them the members of a harlot? It won't happen! Or don’t you know that whoever has sex with a harlot becomes one body with her?” (1 Cor. 6: 15-16), and also: “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who dwells in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” (1 Cor. 6:19).

Thus, by fornication not only the body is dishonored, which, according to the words of St. John, “becomes unclean, as if someone had fallen into a dirty pit and was completely immersed in this swamp,” but by the sinner God Himself, worshiped in the Holy Trinity, is dishonored.

Fornication disfigures the human creation, depriving it of the robe of virtue, because “fornication is fire, and this fire devours such clothing.”

Treason disfigures even the crown of virtues - love, because the incentive to sin comes not from true love, but from “vulgar and stupid love,” says St. John, “which is more a disease than love.” He gives the example of an Egyptian woman who did not want to persuade Joseph to sin out of love, but out of “the love of the devil,” because “she did not love Joseph, but wanted to satisfy her prodigal lust.”

Treason disfigures even the crown of virtues - love, because the incentive to sin does not come from true love

Treason reduces a person from the heights of his dignity to the lowest swamp and abomination, even if this is not always noticed. Therefore, St. John figuratively paints the true face of this sin, pointing out: “You could not put on your servant’s dirty clothes, but would rather remain naked than put them on, for fear of contracting some disease or getting dirty - and into an unclean body and dirty, which was used not only by your servant, but also by many others, are you getting dressed and not getting dirty? […] You and your servant go to this woman […], you go to this woman, who was also in the hands of the executioner […], you dress in this body, passionately kiss it and are not afraid, are you not timid? Aren’t you ashamed, aren’t you in awe?”

The saint not only appeals to visual images, but also touches other feelings of his listeners and readers, presenting in scorching words all the disgustingness of this sin. He says: “After all, for example, what is more stinking than fornication? If sin is stinking when it has not yet been actually committed, how much more so after it has been committed? And then you will be able to understand what a fornicator is; only then will you feel the heavy stench emanating from it, then will you see the uncleanness, abomination and filth coming from it.”

If someone does not realize the abomination and uncleanness of this sin, even seeing its manifestations, then the fornicator himself shows that his conscience convicts him. For after committing this sin, the fornicator, unable to bear himself, goes to the bathhouse and washes himself, “which proves,” says St. Chrysostom, “the disgusting attitude that exists in the human mind towards this sin.”

Like any sin, fornication, before it is committed, seems to hide a certain pleasure in itself, and after it is committed, the pleasure stops and completely fades, and despondency and melancholy take its place. However, the pleasure that represents fornication and adultery is an imaginary pleasure. The soul of a prodigal person, being overwhelmed by passion, “loses its mind” and therefore cannot become a participant in even this imaginary momentary pleasure. St. John says: “So if this is a pleasure, then madness is also a pleasure.”

Saint Chrysostom notes that everywhere they trumpet that fornication contains some kind of pleasure. However, the fornicator, in addition to the external anxiety that he experiences, must also face the riot of the flesh, due to which his mental state is worse than a storm-swept sea, since he can never resist lust, but is always inflamed by it, like those who are overwhelmed by unclean spirits.

Pleasure does not take place even before the moment of fornication, “after all, grinding your teeth and losing your sound mind,” says St. John, “does not come from pleasure, for if it were from pleasure, it would not cause you what those suffering from pain experience.” ”, nor after this moment, for this time “is rather illness and exhaustion.”

And in another place he says about a man in love with a harlot that “until he reaches the goal of his love, he is like a violent and crazy person, and when he reaches his goal, the lust that was in him fades away. So,” says the saint, “if he does not feel satisfaction either at the beginning, because then it is more about madness, or at the end, because he ends up with stress of the whole organism, then where will he find true satisfaction?”

The search for pleasure “many times destroyed a person” both mentally and physically, and “lusts always deceived him.” St. John adds: “Because in reality this work [fornication] in itself is not pleasure, but rather bitterness, deception, hypocrisy and lies, as in the theater.”

The search for pleasure “many times destroyed a person” both mentally and physically, and “lusts always deceived him”

Saint John Chrysostom says of the fornicator that he is “more worthy of weeping than a prisoner.” His constant anxiety is difficult to imagine, because he, as the saint notes, “fears everyone, suspects everyone, suspects even his wife and the husband of the harlot with whom he lives, suspects the harlot herself, and the servants, and household, suspects both friends and relatives , and the walls of the house, and your shadow, and even yourself. But what’s even more terrible is that his conscience cries out to him and denounces him every day.

And if you think about the Judgment of God, then this unfortunate person will not be able to resist at all. His pleasure was very brief, while the pain and sorrow that follow him have no end, because in the evening, and at night, and in the city, and in the desert, and at the end - everywhere this merciless accuser accompanies him, like a two-edged sword , striking him with fear and horror, subjecting him to the most horrific tortures.”

The picture of the confused state and torment of the fornicator described by Saint John Chrysostom is not exhausted by this, and in his “Conversations” he constantly returns to this subject. “What would you tell me,” he says, “about adulterers who, for the sake of short-term pleasure, endure humiliating slavery, waste of money, constant fear and, in a word, lead the life of Cain and even more terrible, for they fear the present, and tremble at the future and They suspect that their friends are their enemies, as well as their enemies; everyone who knows about it is an enemy, as well as everyone who doesn’t know! But adulterers do not stop at this agony: their minds imagine numerous obsessions filled with horror, and frighten them with what might happen.”

Such a man, enslaved by lust and “rolling in the dirt of all women’s bodies,” is considered “a wretch” by St. John. It is already difficult to correct him; he remains “in complete insensibility”, since his conscience is already dead.

For this reason, the fornicator knows no limit to his shamelessness, and he has no fear of God. The fornicator seeks sin even in the church. “Many come to church to look for beautiful women,” says St. John. However, he blames not only men, but also women, who come to church “dressed up with worse shamelessness than harlots in the theater.” Therefore, some of the fornicators who come to church, being tempted, do not see a more suitable place than the church to attract the attention of women and make them turn their heads towards them.

Outraged by this indifference and contempt for God and His Church, which is demonstrated by fornicators, Saint John expresses himself this way: “What are you doing, man? Do you gaze at beautiful women in church and do not tremble, causing such a great insult to the house of God? Do you think that the church is a house of fornication and worse than the square? In the square, you are afraid and ashamed to look at women, but in the temple of God, where God addresses you and threatens you for such things, you commit fornication and treason precisely at the time when you hear that this should not be done? And you don’t tremble, you’re not afraid?”

“How dare you,” he says, “enter the Church of God, the holy temple, when such a heavy stench emanates from you? […] Think what a cruel, what a great punishment you will accept for entering the church and filling the holy house of God with such a stench.”

"Who looks at a woman with lust"

“For know this, that no fornicator

either unclean or covetous, who

is an idolater, has no inheritance

in the Kingdom of Christ and God."

(Eph. 5:5)

Many of the sinners justify themselves and blame the first couple of people and their body as the cause of the condition in which they are. Saint Chrysostom shows that Adam is not guilty of the sins of his descendants, but that they did not remain sinless, adding new sins to his sin. “So, it is not our first parents,” he says, “that are the cause of sin, do not blame in vain, but evil intention is the root of all evil.”

The body with which man is endowed by God is also not to blame for the fall; This is proven by people who remained pure, starting with Abel, and by demons who do not have a body, which, however, did not prevent them from falling. “So,” says Saint John Chrysostom, “if evil belonged to the nature of the body, then it should have been universal, because such is the natural. But fornication is not part of nature, like, for example, experiencing pain: it comes from a person’s intention.”

The body with which man is endowed by God is also not to blame for the fall; this is proven by people who remain clean

To make it clear, the saint gives his listeners and readers a specific example: if horses happen to fall into an abyss, then it is not the reins that are to blame, but the coachman; A man's mind is his coachman, and his reins are his body. The saint affirms the same thing in another place, saying: “It is not the body that enslaves anyone, man, let that not happen, but pleasure. Why do we love pleasure? Not because it is in our body, but because of our intention, or evil will.”

Saint Cyril of Jerusalem, refuting the Gnostics who believed that the body is the prison of the soul and the cause of all evil, explains that this cause must be sought rather in the soul. He says: “Don’t tell me that the body is the cause of sin. If the body were the cause of sin, why then does a person not sin when he is dead? Put a sword in the hand of a person who has just died, and murder will not be committed! Walk in front of a young man who has just died, the most beautiful woman - and not a single lewd thought will arise in him! Why? Because it is not the body that sins by itself, but the soul through the body. The body is an instrument, it is like a robe and vestment of the soul. If the body is given over by the soul to fornication, then it becomes unclean. And if he lives with a holy soul, he becomes a temple of the Holy Spirit. […] Take care of the body, because it is the temple of the Holy Spirit! Do not defile your body with fornication, do not stain this beautiful robe with fornication!”

According to this saint, the body is good primarily because its members were created by God; Adam was naked in paradise along with Eve (see: Gen. 2:25), but it was not because of his members that he was expelled from paradise. “Consequently,” says Saint Cyril, “it is not members that are the cause of sin, but those who use their members badly. The creator of members is wise."

Saint Basil the Great even advises taking care of the body, but not excessively, to the detriment of the soul. Caring for the body, in his understanding, serves as a model for caring for the soul. Therefore, he advises patients to “use the healing of the body as a model and example for caring for the soul.”

Speaking about members, Saint John Chrysostom condemns those who would remove their genitals, explaining that they are not at the source of sin. “Such,” he says, “is a murderer; he gives reason for God's creation to be blasphemed. […] The cutting off of members was originally a work of the devil and the machinations of demons in order to discredit God’s creation and disfigure man; to blame everything on the members, and not on free will. For this reason, many sin without fear, because they consider themselves innocent; such people cause serious harm to themselves: first, they mutilate their members; second, that they interfere with the will to do good deeds. […]

In addition,” the saint continues, “I must also tell you that cutting off members does not quench lust, but inflames it even more. For in a different place are the sources of the seed that is in us, for a different reason lust raises its waves. Some say that the lust of the flesh is born in the brain; others say in the thighs! And I would say that it is born in no other place than in a corrupted will and an unguarded mind. If our soul is pure, body movements will not harm us at all.”

That the members of the body are good is shown by the very act of the incarnation of the Lord, “Who is not ashamed to take on a body consisting of similar members,” says St. Cyril of Jerusalem. Therefore, “there is nothing bad in the entire structure of the human body if it is not defiled by adultery and fornication.”

But the soul is also not guilty of the fall, for “the soul is free, it is the most beautiful creation of God, being created in the image of God; she is immortal because of God, who created her immortal. […] She has the power to do what she wants.”

So, sin does not stem either from the nature of the body or from the nature of the soul; its source is located in another place, namely in the free will of man. The devil tempts him, instills in him the thought of fornication, but cannot force him to go against his will. And if human nature led to sin or virtue, then both hell and heavenly crowns would lose all meaning.

St. Basil the Great takes the same position; he shows that free will, which can be considered “one of the glorious titles of beings endowed with reason,” and which was given to man as a means to perfection, when used incorrectly, became the cause of his downfall.

This teaching is shared by St. John Chrysostom. Developing it, he says: “It is not the guitar itself that can produce harmonious sounds, but the musician’s soul that makes it produce these sounds. Consequently, here too it is not the body that is a false or vile member, but our own intention and free will, emanating from our soul.”

So, everything created by God is good; man, with all his inheritance received from the Creator, is the “house of God.” The fornicator becomes a “defiled house” only because of his intention, evil and crafty.

Since some of the sinners sought justification for their condition, citing powerlessness before temptation and their own nature, Saint Chrysostom shows with specific examples that there is no power in sin, and this is confirmed by those who keep their purity, as well as those imprisoned, and that no one is good or bad by nature, and this is proven by converting people to faith. What comes from nature cannot be changed, therefore natural needs have never been considered a sin, and no one is blamed or punished for having them. “Then,” asks Saint John, “why should we deceive ourselves with excuses and justifications that not only will not bring us any forgiveness, but, on the contrary, will bring us the most terrible punishment?”

Thus, knowing how destructive fornication is, a person must flee from its path and from the path of all the sins that give rise to it; and not only so that people would not see, but also for fear of upsetting God. Saint Chrysostom condemns those who are ashamed of people but do not fear God.

To avoid fornication, it is necessary to declare war on sin, and not at any time, but at the very beginning, when it only begins to arise in the soul, and to eliminate those temptations and means through which sin is born. St. John advises for this: “Set a limit for yourself and decide not to look at a woman, and not to go to the theater, not to look at other people’s charms in the square. It is much easier not to look at a beautiful woman from the very beginning than to look and then drive out your lust for her and at the same time drive out the confusion that her appearance caused in you. The struggle is easier at the beginning, and we will not need the struggle if we do not open the door to the enemy and do not even accept the seed of evil. Christ therefore punishes the one who insatiably looks at a woman, in order to thus protect us from greater suffering. Therefore, I say, give orders to expel the enemy from your house before he becomes strong, because now it is easier to expel him.”

St. John analyzes the individual manifestations and movements of sin from the very beginning, from its appearance in thought and increase in intensity to the catastrophe that it produces. Describing this picture, he exhorts to eradicate sin in its very bud. In this case, we can talk about preventive spiritual treatment, which a person who is in danger of falling ill mentally and physically carries out himself, but on the basis of the recipe of our Savior Jesus Christ given in the Gospel (“You have heard that it was said to the ancients: do not commit adultery. But I I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” - Matthew 5:27-28).

Thus, Saint Chrysostom says: “It is not such a work to see beautiful women, how to control yourself after seeing them, and not to see - there is no work at all in this, whereas a lot of work and sweat follows after you saw them. Thus, when the work is less - although no one can call it work - and the gain is greater, why then do we ourselves seek to fall into the abyss of innumerable evils?

Consequences of betrayal

The husband or wife receives difficult emotions not only after learning about the fact of betrayal. Even suspicions poison life. Torment, poor sleep, suffering do not give rest until the relationship is completely clarified. Fear of the brutal truth prolongs a stressful situation and undermines health.

Important! Heart attacks, strokes, and cancer are in many cases triggered by infidelity and divorce.

And both sides suffer. As a rule, old, solid relationships are destroyed. New bright and promising ones, as it seemed earlier, may simply not work out.

It is not always possible to forgive the betrayal of your other half. It depends on the severity of the crime and the remaining feelings for the person. Not everyone is able to “heal” the situation. Cheating of any severity leads to conflicts and, as a rule, to divorce.

Further options for the development of events are different.

• Limitation of communication with children or its complete absence.
• Breaking relationships with former friends.
• Change of place of work.
• Loss of reputation.
• Moving.

The price to pay for “vivid” emotions, excitement, “a celebration of soul and body,” or simple frivolity can be unpredictable, extremely unpleasant, and sometimes even tragic.

How to survive betrayal and breakup?

Should this be taken as a personal insult and desire revenge on an unfaithful spouse or homewrecker? Remember the words of the Apostle Paul: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:21). True love “does not seek its own” (1 Cor. 13:5). A truly loving person wants his partner to be happy, even if he is not happy with him.

Thank the Lord for the bitter but rewarding experience; perhaps, thanks to what happened, you avoided more grief and problems. If you and your unfaithful spouse have parted ways, a new path has opened up ahead. Perhaps the previous relationship would have become an obstacle to self-awareness and a revision of values ​​on the path to true happiness.

Archpriest Igor Gagarin reminds us that even the Lord carried his cross with humility and love for people.

The prayer of the Optina elders says: “Whatever news I receive during the day, teach me to accept it with a calm soul and the firm conviction that everything is Your holy will.” At the same time, Igor Gagarin explains that the concept of “carrying the cross” should be interpreted not as life’s trials, suffering and sadness, but much deeper. The cross, according to the archpriest, is God's plan for us, which may be very different from the life plans of the person himself. If a person perceives his cross as a bitter component of his life with gratitude and humility, then sweetness awaits him in the future.

Life is multifaceted. As they say, the ways of the Lord are mysterious. No one knows his own future and our Father’s plans for himself, but the stronger the faith, the easier it is to overcome difficulties. Earthly life is only a preparation for eternal life; it is impossible to live it without sadness and loss. “In the world you will have tribulation” (John 16:33) But, as they say, the truth of the radiance of a star is tested by darkness. Having overcome trials, a Christian becomes closer to God.

What does the commandment “Thou shalt not commit adultery” mean?

The Ten Commandments are not absolute prohibitions. They warn of possible negative consequences. Certain passages from the Gospel explain well the meaning of Christ's seventh commandment.

• Looking at a woman with lust is internal (hidden) adultery.
• The heavenly abode will not accept people with a bad conscience.
• The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. It cannot be desecrated by adultery.
• The answer for the path traveled will have to be given taking into account the sin committed.
• The Lord allows only a pure marriage, an immaculate bed.

In other words: the desired happiness cannot be found in the evil committed against the family. In the sin of adultery, not only the family is destroyed, but also the soul. The evil that is sown comes back to us.

The Church persecutes the sin of adultery. It is tempting to others, contagious and capable of destroying any civilized society. It is known that two biblical cities were destroyed for the debauchery of their inhabitants: Sodom and Gomorrah.

Atonement for sin by an adulterer

It should be remembered that only by repenting from a pure heart, turning to the Almighty in prayer, rethinking the full gravity of the sinful act, ceasing to seek solace in fleeting relationships, and betraying his marriage partner, will a true believer not save his body and soul from suffering.

Sin

You need to find courage in yourself, repent of the sins you have already committed, and pray to the Almighty to keep you from such actions in the future. Only then is it possible to purify the heart and soul and, by continuing spiritual development, rise to a higher level of self-knowledge.

The sooner an understanding comes of what was done wrong, existence is rethought and a righteous life begins, the sooner a person will have the opportunity for personal happiness by observing the Divine Commandments.

What is the punishment for treason

A person suffers greater punishment for adultery than for fornication. The sacred agreement on the fidelity of spouses should not be violated. Retribution for treason is expressed in the form of censure from society and a ban on communion for 15 years.

Anyone who breaks the vow of fidelity receives as punishment:

• Condemnation of the act by people around.
• Remorse of one's own conscience.
• Impossibility of maintaining a full-fledged marriage.
• Another reason not to get to the Heavenly abode.
• “The second death in the lake of hell, full of fire and brimstone.”
• An erected wall for prayers and appeals to the Lord.

The blame for betrayal falls on both spouses, who were unable to preserve their feelings. The Church allows divorce due to adultery, but does not oblige it. A person is free to decide for himself what to do in the current situation.