Treason in Orthodoxy and the Bible: Advice from a priest and the attitude of the church

There is an opinion that fornication can destroy even the strongest relationships; this is a completely logical fact. It can be considered not only as a blow to the pride of a loved one, a betrayal, but also a grave sin. Loyalty is a force that protects happiness and family hearth. In the modern world, it is very difficult to perceive the human race, to understand correctly, and even more so to live according to the holy laws of the “Bible”. Even people close and dear to their hearts lie, and what can we say about enemies? How is adultery regarded in Orthodoxy?

Description of infidelity from a Christian point of view

Betrayal in Orthodoxy is characterized as a temptation, a test by the devil; it has nothing to do with the power of love. Faith is, first of all, complete obedience to a whole series of commandments that have equal force among themselves. Among them there are no major and minor, solid and frivolous.

It is believed that a true believer is one who lives “in his heart with God,” completely bowing to all the rules, because by breaking one, over time, you can fall under the influence of other vices that destroy life.

The priests insist that marriages in the church take place only with sincere consent and the strongest feelings of both parties. The Church is a temple that unites close souls, promotes rapprochement and procreation.

The Bible says about infidelity that the role of a mistress for a married man is ugly, unbecoming for a real lady. The lady who took her husband away from his home is a great sinner, a temptress, and the husband himself has fallen in the eyes, has not passed the test, he is mostly unworthy of his wife.

Orthodoxy adheres to the principle: the merging of souls with the help of a priest is the main guarantee of the birth of love, which is blessed by the Lord himself; a noble place for conducting the ritual allows you to create strong family ties on earth and in heaven. It is generally accepted that relationships should be legitimized in order to experience the happiness of devotion, the most desperate, wonderful feelings and emotions that happen in the life of a woman and a man. We must love, respect and take into account not only our own interests, but also those of our close circle.

The sin of treason has no justification; of course, the culprit will be punished.

It’s not only about the moral side (conscience, depravity, fear of exposure, a sense of shame), but also, perhaps, overtaken by cruel realities: quarrels, proceedings, divorce.

Way out

The issue of betrayal is quite sensitive, no one can ever provide a guarantee that he will not succumb to adultery on the side, there are various situations that can influence, people come across on the path of life who know how to manipulate, suppress the will, and persuade. The people are sinful, some to a lesser extent, and some to a greater extent, such is nature. There are banal cases of loss of reason - real commitment, it can occur at any age, but what to do if the vow has already been made, not to sacrifice yourself and not to live with an unloved chosen one? The answer is quite simple, the main task is to avoid apostasy, for this you simply do not need to lie. The only thing required in such a situation:

find a way out for yourself, gather your thoughts;
discuss this issue with your family;
be as honest as possible, unpretentious, not improve the facts;
make a joint decision.

It is worth noting separately: there are no unsolvable problems, perhaps the options seem imperfect, inappropriate, but in this way, not only selfishness will appear, but also good character traits - care, respect for neighbors.

The position of the traitor is not the most advantageous, but the other side suffered much more: shock, resentment, humiliation, and certainly no one will be happy with betrayal. How to forgive your husband's cheating advice will it help? It is necessary to listen to your own heart, draw conclusions from the current realities based on your thoughts and the degree of repentance.

A person who has cheated should in no case fall into despair, give up, if he made a mistake once - this does not mean that life ends, you should not stigmatize yourself, all that remains is to fight for your happiness, try to correct the situation for the better (in the family or already for the better). its boundaries). First steps to forgiveness:

confession, repentance;
prayer;
communion;
keeping the commandments.

Sooner or later, romance ends in any relationship, a crisis ensues, but honor and praise to those who manage to remain faithful despite all the problems. Forgiveness must still be earned, a difficult path to it must be made through repentance and regret.

Orthodox prayer and “prayer against cheating husband”: differences

On the Internet you can find many supposedly religious texts with titles like “Prayer for a husband’s infidelity is strong.” Orthodox Christians should avoid them. Here is what Archpriest Andrei Nikolaidi says about such works:

“These are not church, divinely inspired prayers, but occult conspiracies in which complete nonsense is mixed with outright heresy.”

Orthodox prayer is imbued with reverence, humility and repentance. It implies the participation of the soul. Conspiracies and spells are aimed at mechanical pronunciation and automatic fulfillment of whims. Archpriest Pavel Velikanov notes:

“In magical consciousness the Lord is absent. He's not interesting."

Such texts may use Orthodox vocabulary, but their superstitious primitive essence does not change. Priest Viktor Nikishin instructs those who need “prayer so that the husband does not cheat and loves his wife”:

“Prayer is not a spell that is built on the correct reproduction of a certain text. This is a living conversation with the Lord.”

Why is apostasy a terrible sin?

In Christianity, adultery is a destructive turning point that makes major adjustments to the path of life. Should we forgive betrayal and what does the Bible say about it? – Even if the couple themselves do not pay significant attention to this, are not inclined to dramatize and reproach each other, then the Lord will judge the adulterers in any case, the essence lies in the following aspects:

several commandments are violated at once (lying, betrayal, blasphemy), which is considered a significant reason for condemnation;
the individual who has been betrayed has every right to divorce. To the priest, some reasons seem petty, unworthy of separation, for example: not taking into account the dissimilarity of characters and temperaments;
union is not considered for the benefit of sexual relations, but as procreation, which provides for one partner for life, the rest is perversion, a sinful process. It is not necessary to love each other (after a long period of marriage, taking into account all the shortcomings, subsided passion), if there is respect, then this is quite enough to raise joint children;
this is an extremely serious and decisive step, which implies responsibility not only for oneself; it is a sin to treat such things with frivolity or selfish intent;
the injured party has the right to decide on forgiveness or insist on divorce proceedings;
It is unforgivable for a husband to leave his woman if she has not cheated, since he pushes her onto the path of infidelity and violation of marital obligations.

Adultery is a voluntary betrayal, a sexual relationship that is not always justified by love, often it is ordinary lust or a desire to gain new sensations and add variety. Historically, this vice has always been considered one of the most shameful and was punishable by death.

The feeling of falling in love does not give the right to cheat, because in itself it is distinguished by extreme purity and lightness, and sex will force you to deceive, deliberately cause pain, and lie. It is generally accepted that men are allowed more, and women are more resistant to temptation; if they take such a step, most likely, it will not only be carefully thought out, but will soon destroy the family due to her departure.

Contexts of time

If everything is so clear, then why is this happening to us?

Everything is always very different. There are many reasons... And ones that can even be understood - in the sense, understand psychologically, where something came from and why it led to such a result. There is a context in which we live, and in this context, relations between men and women after the sexual revolutions have become super-free, the awareness of the availability and possibility of betrayal is a common place, it is not a taboo topic for conversation and reflection. The mental taboo has been removed from the topic of betrayal, social taboos have been removed, and the condemnation of infidelity as such has gone away. This creates certain grounds for temptation:

If everyone does this, then there is nothing wrong with it. People get used to thinking like this, unfortunately...

Public opinion, by the way, concerns not only male infidelity, but no less so female infidelity.

It is believed that male infidelity is more excusable than female infidelity. Polygamy exists even in the Old Testament; it was actually the norm of relationships in those days.

Polygyny exists only among primitive peoples. The people of the Old Testament are also primitive people. Look at Deuteronomy, Numbers... How this people treats their enemies, how they capture cities, kill all men, women, children, keep only virgins, whom they distribute among their soldiers... Of course, the Old Testament people of Israel are a primitive people. He had just begun to be given some primary ideas about the relationship between man and man. About the fact that you need to love mom and dad, that stealing and killing are bad, envy is bad, and so on. This is a people who have not yet developed relationships between people, let alone relationships with God. It is not surprising that these people live within the framework of polygamy. A man takes a wife, takes a concubine, because it is important for him to continue the family line, to reproduce: the mortality rate among children is high, and there must be many workers in the house. This is a very primitive relationship.

Photo mariko2

But did the Lord allow polygamy in Old Testament times?

There is a big difference between the world after the Fall and the world into which Christ has already come.

Correct action

Under any circumstances, it is necessary to try to preserve this oath, strengthen it, and not look for reasons to throw off this “weight” from your shoulders. According to church canons, it is important to be able to forgive and find a common language. Infidelity is not always called a single act of betrayal; most often, it is characterized by promiscuity. Sin will be forgiven only if it is dealt with once and for all. Jesus does not condemn those who try to improve, he forgives them.

There is an opinion that it is necessary to support the one who offended you, understand him and give him the opportunity to atone for his guilt. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone tries to fight them, show character, or admit their mistakes. You cannot live with hatred and resentment in your heart, showing mercy, letting go of grievances - everyone finds harmony and peace. There are things that push you to have third-party sexual relationships; as a rule, both are to blame for what happened; first of all, you should ask yourself the following questions:

what are your sexual successes?
Did you fully listen and try to satisfy your partner’s needs, meet halfway and support when it was necessary for him?
Do we hear each other's desires?
Is it my fault for what happened?
Did I do everything properly and didn’t offend my roommate?

Sometimes, for a complete idyll, you need very little: remain silent, leave criticism aside, stop endless comparisons and reproaches, show your feelings, be support and support.

Reasons for forgiveness

The main and most banal reason for mercy, as a rule, is complete obedience, love and the desire to turn a blind eye to all actions, just to save the family; this characteristic applies more to weak people with a soft character. More often, it happens exactly the opposite - a girl who has lost her temper drives her husband out of the family, she torments herself with various facts, arguments, does not want to listen to him, cannot understand. Of course, this is deserved, but in order to make adequate, informed decisions, you need peace and clear arguments.

If a person made a mistake once and bitterly repents of it, is very sensitive to this problem, it is important for him to receive mercy and he does not find a place for himself, of course, one can understand and, over time, accept it again. In this case, it is believed that along the way you have met a conscientious person with whom the path of life seems easier; this is a test, in turn, that tests the strength of the relationship and the desire to be together.

If the traitor completely does not want to accept or see his mistakes, seeks excuses for himself, and continues to lie, then clearly there will be no mercy.

The main guarantee of happiness is trust, this is a kind of soil; if it is not there, then other problems arise that push you to succumb to weakness.

It is always necessary to discuss the nuances; there is no need to leave anything unsaid. After all, even after a breakup (this will not be quickly forgotten), the problem will cause a severe shock to the body and even lead to serious psychological illnesses.

Learn to hear each other! The Lord can help everyone change, the main thing is to really want it. It is said in the holy book that the sadness of parting is very close to grief, betrayal is a painful sensation, speaking out and crying is a completely natural and necessary thing, thus, unification with God takes place, an outpouring of the soul, and making peace with your loved one or not is a temporary question.

Life changes, not always for the better, but faith and hope for a happy future should not leave. We are the same and deserve earthly happiness, which will certainly be given by the Lord, it is he who is able to heal the soul. You can forget absolutely any duties, but it’s not worth it in all situations. Absence can sometimes bring greater pleasure than being near a lying traitor.

According to religion: a spouse who has forgiven the betrayal himself becomes a sinner, but if bitter repentance follows, then he unconditionally undertakes to accept it back. Orthodoxy teaches us to forgive; if God is loyal and forgives us our mistakes, then do we have the right to refuse?

Tips for a cheater

The main thing is to take responsibility for your own actions, have courage, confess, repent, and ask for forgiveness. Not everyone is able to come and tell it like it really is. If a person acts properly, then he clearly experiences feelings, suffers, wants to be forgiven and, as a result, absolve the sin.

Disclosure also directly contributes to a sincere confession, which will soften the circumstances (sometimes). It is always necessary to know when to stop and stop in time, it is not for nothing that people say: “what happened once will not happen a second time, but what happens twice becomes a pattern.”

Keep track of life events, plan so that you don’t have to cry bitterly. It’s a much greater shame to hide, look for arguments, ridiculous excuses.

Prayers to strengthen the family

Prayer for the increase of love and the eradication of hatred and all malice

Troparion, tone 4

Thy apostles, O Christ, have bound Thy apostles together with a union of love, and we, Thy faithful servants, have been firmly bound to Thyself, keep Thy commandments and love one another unhypocritically, pray ami of the Mother of God, One Lover of Mankind.

Kontakion, tone 5

Our hearts have kindled with a flame of love for You, O Christ God, so that with our heart, mind and soul, and with all our strength, we will love You, and our sincere self, and Your commandments. We carefully glorify Thee, the Giver of all blessings.

Prayer to the Mother of God for the family

Most Blessed Lady, take my family under Your protection. Instill in the hearts of my husband and our children peace, love and intransigence to all that is good; Do not allow anyone from my family to experience separation and difficult parting, to premature and sudden death without repentance. And save our house and all of us living in it from fiery ignition, thieves’ attacks, all evil circumstances, various types of insurance and diabolical obsession. Yes, and we, individually and separately, openly and secretly, will glorify Your Holy Name always, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

Translation: Most Blessed Lady, take my family under Your protection. Instill in the heart of my husband and our children peace, love and non-controversy to all that is good; Do not allow anyone from my family to experience separation and a difficult parting, to a premature and unexpected death without repentance. And save our house and all of us living in it from fiery ignition, thieves’ attacks, all evil circumstances, various intimidation and devilish obsession. Yes, together and separately, openly and secretly, we will glorify Your Holy Name always, now and always, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

The role of the mistress

The “position” itself is quite humiliating; is this what a real representative of the fair sex wants and expects? Every girl should have the happiness of motherhood, a husband as an “impenetrable wall”, no need to downplay your importance, run after your married halves. It is excessively humiliating when the rest of the time is given, carnal pleasures are not a guarantee that the heart is won.

The great sinner is the one who speaks with pride about her actions, causing pain and harm to another woman, destroying, damaging a full-fledged family that took an oath before God and humanity. Those who take away female individuals from their family circle must ask themselves the question: what if I took away the wrong man, what prompted me to do this? There is no need to assume that you can get away with it and go unpunished; any of us needs to think before doing something stupid, because spent nerves will not return again.

Life is so beautiful, you should enjoy it to the fullest, and not ruin yourself and everyone around you. Girls, rejoice not at what “I stole,” but at the fact that you managed to build it yourself!

How to protect love

Often young couples, having acquired the status of “married,” try to protect their marriage and find the necessary guarantee to preserve it. And then who knows what! Some people run at a trot according to “sorcerers” and “fortune tellers”, necessarily “hereditary”, some trust astrologers, stars and numbers all their lives, trying to predict long and cloudless family happiness, and some resort to the Sacrament of Wedding, turning to to God. Do these actions provide any guarantees? For some reason, people think that by completing all these manipulations, they will receive reliable protection against betrayal for all occasions.

However, the feeling that you have been absolutely promised something is always false. And no one can truly give you a guarantee that your family will not suffer the fate of the Titanic. It all depends on you, no matter how banal it may sound.