Text of the book “How to acquire meekness of soul? Holy Fathers on Meekness"

The material presented below is the original work of priest Maxim Kaskun (Moscow region), published on the Internet in the format of video lectures. The author of this project, “ierei063,” in order to present information more concisely, optimized his lectures in such a way as to significantly reduce the volume of material without losing the main idea, allowing the reader to quickly and accurately grasp the main idea.

Father did serious, respectable work, from various sources, including the works of the Holy Fathers, collected information on the topic, clearly systematized and revealed it. He worked on the development of this material for a very long time, and I do not claim authorship, but in order to save my own time, seeing this worthy work, I dare to post a “shortened version” on my website. Those wishing to access the original material, please go to the Internet project of Priest Maxim Kaskun, who also needs support for his works.

What is meekness

1. First of all, it is a quiet, calm state of mind.
2. “Meekness is humble devotion to God, united by faith, overshadowed by Divine grace,” defines Ignatius Brianchaninov. Ignatius Brianchaninov’s definition is a little unworldly, but it is precisely what the definition of meekness in its spiritual action shows.
3. About its essence, he says the following: “Meekness is avoidance of angry thoughts, from indignation of the heart with rage, patience, following Christ, taking up the cross, peace of heart, silence of mind, Christian firmness and courage, insensibility of insults, gentleness.”

   We will talk in more detail later.

4. Meekness is a virtue that overcomes irritability and anger in us, hot temper, rage - these are all types of anger). An angry person must understand that the only virtue that will immediately crush his irritation is meekness. And in this regard, a person will need to work.
5. Meekness is a commandment. The Gospel beatitudes are the commandments of Christ, which we must strive for, fulfill them and work in this regard, so that not only from our hearts, but even from our minds, the thoughts that we must acquire meekness do not escape.

What does the acquisition of this virtue give?

1. First of all, knowledge and study of this virtue from the Holy Fathers, from the shepherds of the Church, i.e. in church tradition. Why is this important: as the beginning of our conversation - a survey - showed, people today really have a very meager idea of ​​meekness. Because meekness, as I already said, is a modest virtue, very meek, quiet, unnoticeable, and those who possess it are always, even in church life, as if outside this life. People pay little attention to these Christians. A meek old man is usually unknown. There are such elders whom no one has ever seen or visited, with rare exceptions. But people get real help from them. And the vain will always be popular. There are those elders who constantly trumpet themselves. And this is precisely a sign of a lack of meekness.
2. Repentance, repentance, lamentation and crying for one’s sins. They help to give birth to meekness in a person. St. John Chrysostom and St. John Climacus talk about this. Because repentance is the life of the soul, and it is impossible for any virtue to approach and gain sight without repentance. A person must necessarily repent, in this repentance acquire humility, the knowledge of himself that he is a weak person, and through this approach the limits of meekness.
3. Theophan the Recluse also adds that in order to acquire this virtue, self-reproach and mortal memory are very useful for a person. Self-reproach, as they say, straightens a person’s brains. Because a person who learns to reproach himself acquires a true spiritual state. Because in every situation there is our fault. Remembering what will happen to a person, he humbles himself. Accordingly, by humbling himself, he fights with exaltation, with proud thoughts in his heart. And this helps him then perceive all the information that happens next to him, without irritation with other people, with meekness, quietly, humbly.
4. Isaiah the Hermit also says that enduring without embarrassment everything that happens to us also helps a person acquire meekness. Whatever happens to us in our lives - whether grief, joy, temptation (the desire to eat something irresistible) or something else - we must definitely treat it without embarrassment, i.e. without moving, straight, try to stabilize yourself. Meekness is a stable, unchanging state. Accordingly, a person, trying to be stable, gives the opportunity for meekness to linger in him and take root. Because like connects with like.
5. St. John Chrysostom says that there is a certain time when it is convenient to acquire meekness. When you are insulted or attacked, this is the most favorable time to acquire meekness; there is no other time. The time when we contemplate meekness in our mind is a very blessed time, dreamy, good mood. But then, when we get into trouble, we need to show all this. “The time of acquiring meekness is when it encounters anger, insults, etc., here is its strength (that is, in practice),” says St. John Chrysostom. It can be added that in practice, self-control and self-knowledge are very useful for a person. And also, as Professor A.I. Osipov says, the ability to “objectify oneself,” i.e. – the ability to look at oneself from the outside. In fact, there is no way you can look at yourself from the outside as if someone installs video surveillance on you during the day, and you won’t know about it. And then you look at yourself - how you behave. It seems to me that this will be a revelation for a person who wants to be saved. He will simply see himself from the outside and think: “Lord, what am I really like... This is horror.” After all, we don’t see ourselves! We think that we are ideal, that we are the best! From the outside, when you look at it, it’s just a nightmare. And if this actually happens to someone in life, it will be a great mercy of God, because the best way to see yourself, of course, is on a hidden camera.
6. When acquiring meekness, it is very important to be patient, to drive away despair and despondency that virtue is not given. Every virtue is a matter of great feat, patience, time, and purification. And therefore, a person who has decided for himself that he will acquire virtues, in particular meekness, must, of course, know that all this will not happen immediately, very far away. And he will fall more than once, and will be disgraced more than once, and all the time he will see that he is unworthy and not humble. And through this self-knowledge, in the end, he will humble himself, acquire meekness in his soul, and will truly be fragrant with this virtue.
7. And it is also very important that when a person works to acquire this virtue, falls, strives, the main knowledge awakens in him - when a person sees that, despite the fact that he is in temptations, that virtue does not follow, that it is impossible to be meek , - in spite of everything, he acquires knowledge inside that tells him: “You are on the right path. Meekness must be acquired. We have to finish it to the end.” A person acquires all this during practical training. Before this, everything is in theory, everything is bookish, and it really won’t give a person anything.

How to become more meek and develop humility?

You can truly understand what meekness is and the meaning of the word only in practice.

1. Help people to the best of your ability.

2. Fight your pride.

3. Don't be arrogant towards others.

4. Respect the point of view of any person.

5. Do not verbally insult your interlocutor. An offensive word spoken in an emotional outburst often hurts more than an action.

6. Develop prudence. That is, think first, and then speak or act.

7. Have self-esteem and not go to extremes. Low self-esteem and an overly soft character are also not good. Adequate self-esteem is like scales in a state of balance.

Virtue is always acquired only through deeds, in deeds in a person’s life

Degrees of success in the virtue of meekness (according to St. John Climacus):

1. Silence of the lips when anger moves. We have already said what it is: when you are insulted, well, shut your mouth, well, don’t say anything. Go to the toilet, go for a walk, something else, just don’t say anything. Because in anger a person is very, very eloquent. He’ll tell you so much that he’ll feel ashamed later. Therefore, to avoid this, it is better to keep your lips shut.
2. Silence of the mind or thoughts during the subtle movement of anger. Anger, as a demonic influence on a person, very often does not occur in an open way. The Holy Fathers distinguished many different subtle movements that lead a person to anger. And when these subtle movements exist, then, firstly, the mind must see it all, and secondly, it must not respond in any way. Do not react because it is a deception. This number includes when, say, a person gets up in the morning - and everything is bad... And we know that the passion of anger is a natural passion, it is rooted in human nature, but it was given to man to fight sin. There is such a day - you get up, and everything is bad, you haven’t done anything yet, and you’re already angry. Why are you angry? Because when you got up, there was already some irritation in your soul, which appeared as a result of some kind of dissatisfaction. So, all these subtle movements that were in the beginning, they happened rapidly. The mind must immediately “scan” them (see) and prevent them. Spend time, 5-10 minutes, on heartfelt prayer (in your own words or according to a rule - as best you can) to drive away this state. It happens that a person prays - the prayer went well, word for word, everything is going great... Then he remembered that someone owes him something. And that’s all - there is no prayer. Because anger drives away prayer. Irritation, anger - all this happens rapidly and a person cannot control himself. And in the end it turned out that prayer was a sin instead of receiving benefit. Therefore, a person must be careful.
3. When a person is already in unshakable silence, he has acquired complete meekness. No matter what happens there: strangulation, insults, they robbed you, they did something else, nothing bothers you. At St. Nikolai Serbsky has a letter to a man who signed some papers and was deprived of a small tavern. He wanted to hang himself, came to the grave, made a noose, but fell asleep from the weight. His mother appeared to him, enlightened him, and said wonderful words: “There are many poor people in paradise, but no one who commits suicide.” She made him understand that if you are poor, you still have the opportunity to be saved. But if you commit suicide now, that’s it, we won’t meet you, “there’s no one here.” He came to his senses, and then he humbly stood at this tavern and asked for alms from those entering there, and cried all the time, humbled himself. And to him St. Nikolai Serbsky writes that you have already gained, you have already defeated the evil one, you have already done a lot. Because you resigned yourself, did not take revenge, you experienced it all within yourself. And, indeed, this state that you have acquired is important, go forward, don’t stop.

But when a person really receives this unshakable silence from the Lord as a reward for a feat, it gives him many benefits, which we will talk about at the end.

Degrees of manifestation of meekness:

1. To endure dishonor in silence, even with illness and sadness of the soul. This is the most basic form - we silently, quietly endure, but inside we grieve. A person cannot immediately become meek, no way, it is impossible. First you need to practice this. And it really is like this: you forgive him - he is not forgiven, you try to forgive him - you cannot. We need to fight, we need to remake ourselves, and the grace of God, seeing our aspiration, seeing our works, helps us and cleanses our soul. This is the first and indispensable condition, without this no one will achieve meekness.
2. When a person can already remain in these reproaches carelessly. They insulted me - well, thank God. The person is even-keeled about this. This is a different level. And when a person sees that this is so, he again should not think that he has gotten back on his feet. The Monk Isaac the Syrian has such an example, when a man wrote to him at the monastery: “Come visit me and give me guidance with my family.” I begged him for quite a long time, and St. Isaac wrote to him: “We don’t leave our cells to see our monks, much less go into the world... And all the passions that have fallen asleep in us, we have crushed them inside ourselves, pressed them, will simply ignite. Sorry, my salvation is more precious to me. Because what has been woven for decades, I can lose in an instant. That’s not why I went into the desert to lose it all.” If the Monk Isaac spoke about this, then even more so you and I.

   When we feel some changes in ourselves that we can forgive, we should under no circumstances think that we have already reached some kind of harbor. There is a lot of struggle ahead, and the first degree, when we are saddened, will still await us, because different types of offense bring different depths of grief. Especially the grievances of loved ones and friends are much more bitter for us than, say, if a boss says something at work. Therefore, you need to be prepared for everything here and not rejoice at temporary successes, but patiently wait for creative benefits.

3. Take reproach as praise. They called you names - and you think: well, they praised me. Yes, foolishness. You say, well, what are you talking about here, father? But in reality it is so. After all, the very last degree is generally the desire for dishonor. That is, a meek, humble person desires dishonor, because he perceives these dishonor precisely as a cleansing fire for salvation in Christ. And when he is insulted, he does not even see that someone insulted him, because he is all inflamed with love for God, love for man, and he sees the tragedy that we all lie in evil, the whole world lies in evil. And we inflict these wounds on each other. And he, as a co-worker with Christ, misses this sin behind his backbone, throws it out, does not pay attention to it and tries to extinguish this evil in himself with love. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for these shall be called the sons of God.” A peacemaker must necessarily be a meek person.

So, when we are insulted, we should know that the Lord praises us. And when we are praised, it means that God is not spoiling us. “Woe to you when all men speak well of you.” And therefore, indeed, when such a temptation occurs, one must understand that this is all by the grace of God. Nothing just happens for us. Nothing! Christ always stands next to us and educates each of us.

How to determine your temperament type?

The easiest way is to analyze your character. Here are questions to help you:

• Can you be alone for a long time and remain happy?
• Are you afraid to take risks?
• Are you prone to empathy (this means the ability to empathize with another person on a mental level)?
• Do you prefer not to conflict, but to find a compromise?
• Do you know how to listen carefully to your opponent?
• Do you have several close people, but don’t need more?

The more positive answers there are, the higher the degree of your introversion. The less, the more extroverted you are. If there are equal numbers of positive and negative answers, you are an ambivert - a unique personality that combines traits of both types.

The Eysenck temperament type test is an excellent way to analyze your character. Consists of 57 questions that should be answered quickly, that is, the first thing that comes to mind.

Keeping meek:

So we acquired something, learned something, accepted something, started working. How to save it? How to maintain that state, that understanding that we have acquired a little in our works?

1. Avoid communication with angry, spiteful, grumpy people, says Isaac the Syrian. “If you are with the venerable, you will be corrupt with the obstinate.” “Whoever you mess with, you’ll gain from,” says popular wisdom. Therefore, if we want to acquire the virtue of meekness, then any company that does not have a meek spirit should be despised by us as the place where we are located. You should never despise people. But to despise that place, those squabbles, those quarrels, to have within us a complete rejection of that spirit - we must definitely remember this and never stay too long in such company. If we feel that something is not right, we need to leave immediately. Ask everyone for forgiveness and disappear. Because with the obstinate you will be corrupted. And with the monk you will be reverend. And therefore, of course, you still need to look for people for communication who are meek, wise, humble, in communication with whom you can see something different. Not what we usually see in our lives. If we meet such people on our way, we must value and cherish this meeting. And all this communication is truly spiritual and edifying.

1. St. John Chrysostom says that you should not think anything bad about your neighbors, nothing at all. First of all, because when we think bad about a person, we can rise above him: if he is bad, then I am good, if he is stupid, then I am smart. If he can’t do anything, then I can do everything. And if I know how, but he doesn’t, then I can afford to get irritated with him and talk to him in a raised voice. Roughly speaking, my boss and I are no one and that’s why we don’t speak in a raised voice. And with his family, friends, and relatives, a person can speak in a raised tone, because he considers himself better. After all, in a family, these scandals often occur only because a person relaxes in a family environment and he no longer sees that he is starting to live simply by sins. If he remains in society, somehow disciplines himself, an external factor influences him, he tries to be pious, modest, well-mannered, intelligent at worst, then at home he can say everything that he thinks about everyone, and then to no one don't talk.

1. Do not take revenge, do not be angry and do not be malicious in any way. If you want to preserve the beginnings of virtue, under no circumstances should you take revenge, be angry, or wish for something bad, otherwise you will suffer great damage.

1. The Monk Abba Dorotheos says that if you want to maintain meekness, do not avoid those who upset you. If you avoid, meekness will run away from you. Because through those who grieve us we acquire this meekness, become stronger in it and improve in virtue. And it is precisely impossible for a person to always live in ideal conditions. It's absolutely impossible.

We want to live without anyone touching us, but this is a disastrous path. Surely someone must humble us. And each of us must have these humbling circumstances in life. Without these sorrows no one can be saved.

1. It is also very important to pay attention to false meekness, which can pretend to be a virtue and thereby also lead us astray from the true path. Cowardice and cowardice, which manifest themselves in a certain relaxation, inaction, laziness - they very often pass themselves off as meekness: “You keep silent - this is Christian.”

1. Barsanuphius the Great and the prophet John say that patience can also be connected precisely with anger. We said that Ignatius Brianchaninov wrote that meekness has patience in itself. So, it happens that a person endures because he is angry, embittered, tense. This often happens: “No matter what, I will do it, because I want that person to have it worse.” Such thoughts do happen, and people can actually take this path and follow it to the end, and this is very scary. This is something to be afraid of.

How to achieve spiritual harmony?

Harmony with oneself is the most important component of the life of a modern person, correlating with happiness. People subconsciously strive for such a calm and peaceful state. How to achieve it?

• Take an hour to relax. Yoga, a warm bath, and calm, relaxing music are excellent stress relievers.
• Be alone with yourself. Every person needs this, even the most active extrovert.
• Move. In every sense: movement is life and happiness.
• Believe in yourself (or yourself). Only a person who loves himself achieves harmony.
• Accept the world around you with all its advantages and disadvantages. It is amazing and full of mysteries for those who know how to see them. Remember, meekness is the quality that will help you.
• Take care of your plants. Surely you have a small pot with a cute green flower or plants in the garden. Water them and expose them to sunlight. Surprisingly, but true: it calms the psyche. Which is especially important for women. As one Buddhist said: “A woman working in a garden creates the world.”

• Don't stop learning. Here we are not talking about obtaining additional education, but about useful knowledge. You can learn new things either on your own or from more experienced people by listening carefully. Studying trains imagination, memory and broadens one's horizons.

Humility and meekness are the qualities of a strong person who knows how to accept the surrounding reality and live in harmony with it.