Why can't you have sex during Lent?
The meaning of Lent for believers is the voluntary renunciation of bodily pleasures. For 48 days, Orthodox Christians eat only the most modest and simple food and limit themselves to entertainment. Since physical intimacy between spouses is also a pleasant, but not mandatory, activity, it is advisable to exclude it.
It is recommended to devote time to prayer and reflection during Lent - physical relationships will be distracting
Ideally, during Lent, all the thoughts of believers should be directed to spiritual issues. Sex between husband and wife will simply distract them both from thoughts of God. That is why sex during fasting is not approved; it greatly reduces the beneficial effect of self-restraint.
Important! On the days of any fasting, the Orthodox Church does not conduct wedding ceremonies, since it is assumed that immediately after marriage the newlyweds enter into intimate relationships and also have a big feast.
Spiritual life comes to the fore
Holy Week is also called Week. These are the last seven days of Lent. Believers remember the passion of the Lord in the last week of his earthly life. Jesus overcame the last barriers that separated him from God. The clergy consider Holy Week to be preparation for Great Easter. During this period, believers seem to “live” the last days of the Savior’s earthly life. Each day is dedicated to a specific event from the life of Christ; it is called the Great.
On Holy Monday, the church remembers the last conversations of Jesus with his disciples and those who came to listen to him. The Liturgy is served before the consecrated gifts. On Maundy Tuesday, the Lord told his disciples about the Second Coming and the parable of the ten virgins and the talents. In her hymns, the Holy Church reminds us of the obligation of spiritual wakefulness and religious and moral improvement. On Wednesday, Judas Iscariot betrayed the Savior for 30 pieces of silver. For this, a prayer is read in the temple with bows. On Thursday, the day of the Last Supper, one of the longest services of the year takes place. The Liturgy of St. Basil the Great is being served. On Friday - the day of Christ's crucifixion - a shroud with an image of him in the tomb is taken out of the altar. On Saturday we remember the burial of the Savior. At the evening service they begin to bless Easter, Easter cakes and colored eggs. Sunday is the holiday of Easter.
During Holy Week, additional prohibitions and restrictions are imposed on those who fast. They all boil down to the fact that spiritual life comes to the fore. A person should think first of all about saving his soul and only then about his bodily shell. The number of services in the temple is increasing, and it is advisable for believers not to miss them.
Sex during Lent: what the covenant says
The Holy Scriptures contain many statements regarding marital intimacy during Lent. First of all, you can remember the words from the Old Testament: “Many have died from satiety, but he who is abstinent will add more life to himself.” Voluntary renunciation of worldly pleasures is, in principle, encouraged in Christianity, and most of all - on special days of the church calendar.
At the same time, there are other words in the Bible regarding whether fornication is intimate during fasting or not. In particular, the Apostle Paul, in his First Epistle to the Corinthians, advises spouses not to shy away from each other unnecessarily. He directly says that a husband and wife should give up intimacy only temporarily, for prayer and other pious deeds. And after this, we should be together again in order to resist temptations, because with physical abstinence, the devil can tempt a person’s soul with obsessive vicious thoughts.
John Chrysostom gives the following explanation to these words of St. Paul - if spouses abstain too zealously from intimacy, then at least one of them may face severe temptation. For example, if giving up sex turns out to be too difficult for the husband, and the wife is still committed to chastity, then the husband may decide to cheat. Adultery, from the point of view of the church, is a much more serious sin than sex during Lent.
What do the majority say?i
Families who observe all the canons of Orthodoxy year after year will definitely oppose intimate relations during Holy Lent. However, not everyone is ready to give up pleasure. Some couples believe that sex during Lent and during Christian holidays is only possible between spouses. Any other relationship is considered unworthy and sinful.
There are also those who consider cohabitation to be a criterion for permission. But if you look at the statistics, it becomes clear that words are at odds with actions. Couples, even spouses, rarely indulge in lovemaking during the holy fast. They are driven by fears and religious beliefs built over centuries.
Is it possible to have sex during Lent - the opinion of a priest
The majority of priests on this issue completely agree with the position of the Apostle Paul. Refusal of sex during Lent can become a test and a kind of feat for Orthodox Christians. But abstinence must occur solely by mutual consent; it is impossible for the husband or wife to make the decision alone.
Priests remind parishioners that after marriage, spouses belong first of all to each other, and only then to themselves. If abstinence is difficult for one person, and the other refuses to fulfill his marital duty, this becomes not piety, but selfishness. Some priests argue that responsibility for betrayal in such a situation falls on the spouse who did not show attention to a loved one and pushed him into adultery.
Priests advise parishioners to refuse intimacy during Lent only by mutual consent between spouses
Advice! If in a couple one of the spouses is a church member, and the other has not yet converted to Orthodoxy, it is even more impossible to single-handedly establish a ban on sex. This will only push the doubting person away from faith.
Swear and sort things out
It is better to postpone family quarrels and squabbles. The main thing for a Christian during Holy Week is reconciliation with himself and other people. Even if someone has caused an offense, it is recommended to accept it “with humility and prayer,” says Alexander Volkov. Because the suffering of Christ cannot be compared with the worldly experiences of people.
The Savior goes to free death for people. He experiences the betrayal of his closest student and other terrible actions of people. These days you need to pray for the salvation of your soul ,” recalls Volkov.
Exceptions when sex with your wife is allowed during fasting
Although the Church recommends, if possible, limiting marital relations during Lent, there are exceptions to this rule:
- Physical intimacy is allowed when one of the spouses is categorically against abstinence. If a husband wants to give up sex until Easter, but his wife does not accept his position, then yielding to her desire will not become a sin. The Church is of the opinion that love and the willingness to compromise should occupy the main place in marriage.
- You can have sex during fasting if both the husband and wife, by consent, wanted to limit themselves to sexual intercourse, but found that it was too difficult. The priests remind that it is better to retreat from the decision made than to allow numerous quarrels against the background of dissatisfaction or, until Easter, to think only about physical passion, which has become inaccessible.
As for religious rules regarding specific days of the week, during Lent you can have sex on the night of Saturday, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. At this time, the church charter allows for some relaxation.
Spouses can have sex during Lent if at least one of them is against abstinence
Attention! Marital sex is strictly prohibited only closer to Easter, namely on Good Friday. On the most mournful day of the Orthodox calendar, believers should spend time in prayer and reflection.
Eating meat and processed foods
Willi Rolfes/imagebroker.com/Global Look Press
During Lent, people give up food that pushes a person to passions, that is, gives vital energy and strength, Hieromonk Theodorit Senchukov recalled in a conversation with NEWS.ru. This includes meat, poultry, eggs, and dairy products. The Church prescribes eating vegetables, fruits, nuts, and mushrooms. During Holy Week, restrictions become even stricter. In the first three days, dry eating is prescribed, that is, eating thermally unprocessed food. The exception is gray and black bread. It is permissible to eat boiled food. No vegetable oil. On Maundy Thursday, you are allowed to relax and add this ingredient to your diet. You can also drink a little wine to maintain strength during a long service. The strictest day of fasting is Friday, when Christ was crucified. Believers eat only bread and water. On Saturday, dry eating with a glass of wine to boot is again possible. After all, there is a night service ahead, you need to gain strength. On Sunday you can eat whatever you want, but be careful in moderation. Out of habit, the digestive system can malfunction.
Only adults and healthy people should fast. The Church gives concessions to children, pregnant women, and the sick. If, for health reasons, dietary restrictions are contraindicated for a person, there is no need to torture yourself. It is better to “focus” on prayer and repentance.
More questions about marital duty during Lent
During Lent, Christians are interested in the church's attitude not only to sex, but also to procreation. It is not always clear whether it is possible to conceive a child at this time, and whether it is bad if a woman becomes pregnant in the period before Easter.
Is it possible to get pregnant during Lent?
Marital relations during a time of strict abstinence from physical pleasures remain undesirable. And yet, the church is calm about violating this rule. Intimacy between spouses is a concession to the carnal principle, but in no case is it a serious sin. Moreover, conceiving a child cannot be considered something bad. After all, we are talking about the birth of a new life and a unique act of Creation in the image and likeness of God.
If a child is conceived during Lent, from the point of view of the church, this does not threaten either him or his parents.
Priests agree that you should not specifically plan conception during this period of time. But if intimate life during Lent by coincidence led to the woman becoming pregnant, then there is no need to be afraid, it means that this was also the will of God.
If children are conceived during Lent
Many popular beliefs claim that children conceived during Lent will experience many misfortunes in life, or will be born sick, or will become incorrigible sinners when they grow up, as punishment for the misdeeds of their parents.
The opinion of the church is completely unambiguous - all such signs should be considered nothing more than pagan prejudices preserved from ancient times. Children conceived and born in love and harmony at any time of the year are always pleasing to God.
Have fun and have fun
Sergey Bulkin/NEWS.ru
Trips to shopping centers, visiting the theater, watching entertainment programs and films, visiting people - all this “does not fit in any way for a Christian with what happens during Holy Week,” priest Alexander, Chairman of the Information Commission of the Moscow City Diocese, told NEWS.ru Volkov.
You need to be aware of what is happening these days. These are terrible pages of Christian history. When Christ walked a terrible path to atone for the sins of mankind. Idle fun is incompatible with this.
Alexander Volkov
priest, chairman of the information commission of the Moscow city diocese
During the Week, any entertainment is prohibited - weddings, birthdays, corporate parties. According to signs, the one who laughs on Good Friday will cry all year.
Sex before marriage
Why does the Orthodox Church warn young people to abstain from intimate relationships before marriage and maintain chastity?
The Old Testament describes several cases where fornicators were stoned for committing adultery. What is the reason for such cruelty?
The film "The Ten Commandments" shows a terrible scene of stoning sinners. The adulterers were tied by their hands and feet to stakes so that they could not hide or defend themselves, and all the people threw sharp, huge stones at them.
This action had two meanings:
- the first - for intimidation and edification;
- secondly, children born from such a relationship carried a curse to the family, depriving it of God’s protection.
A family not married by God cannot be under His protection.
Unrepentant sinners excommunicate themselves from the Sacrament of Confession and Communion, living of their own free will under the attacks of the devil.
Work around the house
There is a misconception that you cannot work throughout Holy Week. Actually this is not true. The Church does not prohibit people from performing their official duties. Otherwise, a person risks the well-being of his family. And this is considered a sin. Housework is also permitted from Monday to Thursday. Just at this time you need to bake Easter cakes, paint eggs, and prepare clean clothes for Easter celebrations. Only on Friday and Saturday you cannot do anything around the house, and also postpone any cosmetic procedures. It is recommended to devote all free time to prayer and absolution.
Theology of Intimate Relationships
Orthodoxy welcomes sex between a married couple as an act of God's blessing. Intimate relationships in an Orthodox family are a God-blessed action that involves not only the birth of children, but also the strengthening of love, intimacy and trust between spouses.
About family in Orthodoxy:
- About the patriarchal family
- Is it necessary for an Orthodox family to have many children?
- What icon is used to bless a marriage?
God created man and woman in His image, He created a beautiful creation - man. The Almighty Creator Himself provided for intimate relationships between a man and a woman. Everything was perfect in God's creation; God created man, naked and beautiful. So why is humanity so hypocritical about nudity nowadays?
Adam and Eve
The Hermitage exhibits magnificent sculptures demonstrating the beauty of the human body.
The Creator left His instructions to people (Gen. 1:28):
- to multiply;
- multiply;
- fill the earth.
For reference! There was no shame in paradise; this feeling appeared among the first people after committing a sin.
