How to approach the priest during confession?

Confession is an integral part of the life of every Christian. The essence of this great sacrament is the voluntary recognition of sins committed and deep repentance for them. According to tradition, one speaks about one’s sins in the presence of a temple minister (priest), who is a mediator between God and the laity. A sincerely repentant person receives forgiveness of sins committed by deed or thought, cleanses his soul and rises to a higher spiritual level.

What to say in confession to the priest: what words to start with, how to end correctly

Many new parishioners joining Orthodoxy are concerned about issues of correct behavior in the Temple during confession.
Consider:

How to approach the priest.
What words should I start my confession with?
What words should you use to end your repentance speech?
Can a priest refuse confession to a parishioner, and for what reasons?

This article will introduce the reader to some rules of conduct in church and shed light on the most frequently asked questions about confession and communion.

How to see your sins?

Since sins are a violation of the Commandments of God, it is necessary to study the Commandments and the Gospel. And you should ask God to see your sins. When a person does not see anything bad in himself, this never indicates the absence of sins. This is usually a consequence of pride and spiritual apathy. Anyone who does not see sins in himself must begin by confessing this spiritual blindness, then the priest will help him remember other vices.

How to approach the priest for confession

Having decided to confess, treat it with full responsibility:

Think about your sins.
Make peace with your loved ones.
Forgive the insults.
Ask for forgiveness.

People who come to confession for the first time find it difficult to contact a priest without knowing:

What words should you use to approach the bishop?
What to say in confession.
What questions does the priest, etc. ask?

Many people get confused and are afraid of looking ridiculous.

This issue is explained in detail on the ABC of Faith website, where anyone can learn the basic rules online:

When preparing for confession at home, pray to God asking him to reveal the sins you have committed.
When going to church, do not rely on memory, but write down your sins on a piece of paper. Many, approaching the lectern where confession takes place, forget what to say from the experience.
Approaching the priest, he bows his head and, folding his hands crosswise in front of him, asks for a blessing.
Then place two fingers of your right hand on the Holy Crucifix, and your head on the Bible.
The priest covers the penitent with a piece of clothing (epistrachelion), asks his name and asks him to name the sins committed by the person.
If the applicant finds it difficult to say the necessary words, the confessor asks some leading questions.
After the end of the sacrament, a prayer of permission is said over the repentant and the veil is removed from the head.
The penitent crosses himself, kisses the Crucifix and the Bible.
The priest gives the hand to be kissed and blesses the one who has repented.

Note! In the sacrament of confession, a person is left alone with God, and the priest is only a witness of reconciliation.

Lists of sins to help the repentant

If you resort to manuals, of which there are many on the Internet, you are more likely to get confused than to get help. It is not difficult to compile a long list of sins based on a model, but often they indicate completely incomprehensible things related to monastics. They are “idlers”, they are assigned only two duties: work and prayer, everything else is sin. Priests do not advise comparing actions in the world with such improvised means. Sometimes it looks downright stupid.

For example:

collected stamps;
washed himself with scented soap;
did my hair;
did the laundry on Sunday, etc.

You can borrow the brevity with which sin is called. This will help you create a personal list so as not to fall into verbosity and not tell the story (novel) of your life. Do this: Write down the actions that you understand are bad. You regret it, you are ready not to repeat it (by the way, they don’t happen that often, but they constantly remind you of themselves, popping up in your memory).

For example:

I was rude to my parents.
Hit his wife.
Stole a bicycle (cassette, book, any thing), etc.
Did not visit a sick relative who needed it.

Continue further: take a look at your character. Seeing yourself as you are is not easy. Some people even consider themselves normal, good, kind, always right. Take and paint an icon from it. But it is precisely in such a person that the sin of pride is already visible, which overthrew the devil from Heaven. This comes from ignorance of the laws of faith.

The more often you confess, comprehend Orthodox teaching, and draw closer to God, the more dirt you will see in yourself that you need to get rid of. Know that if you have not discovered any sins in yourself, then you are far from fulfilling the commandments. There is not a single saint about whom it can be said that he is sinless.

If it’s really hard, nothing comes to mind, ask your loved ones: What bad qualities will they name? It's always clearer from the outside. These traits will most likely be what you are looking for. Think about it, perhaps the list will be replenished with the following sins:

was angry, irritated, thought badly about someone;
cursed, responded rudely, condemned, hated;
did not know moderation in food (gluttony);
came home drunk and became rowdy;
cheated on his wife (husband), deceived, slandered, spread rumors;
did not help others, refused requests, mocked workers;
gave (persuaded) consent to an abortion;
was lazy in fulfilling his duties both at work and at home, etc.

Advice: Before turning to any source with a list of sins, try to first write down what you remember well, what weighs on your soul, what you really regret. Such sins will definitely be forgiven. When looking for shortcomings in yourself, resorting to a manual, strive not for quantity (to cover everything at once), but for quality. They read it, remembered it, realized it, were saddened, and promised themselves not to do that again. They asked the Lord to help with this. Now put it on the confession sheet.

What words to start naming your sins and how to finish correctly

Many do not understand sins, not seeing anything reprehensible in what they have done, therefore, to perform the sacrament of reconciliation with God, they name the first words they like from the general reminder to the person going to confession.

This is fundamentally wrong and does not bring any benefit. To meaningfully prepare for the sacrament, recreate your own life in detail in your mind, noticing actions that evoke a feeling of regret and repentance for what you have done.

Such acts must be named during confession, without embellishing or belittling anything.

When starting the sacrament, tell God that you have sinned against him and begin to list the unseemly acts you have committed. During a conversation with God, there is no need to describe in detail what was done; it is enough to briefly state the essence.

After finishing the dialogue, say that you repent of what you did and ask the Lord to forgive your sins.

The priest, being nearby and witnessing the dialogue that took place, will give advice on how to behave correctly in later life in order to get rid of such actions.

What sins should be listed in confession?

So, let’s try to highlight in more detail the most common ones that require attention in the list:

I allowed myself to be dissatisfied with the life given to me by God and the people around me.
She had the courage to scold her children and be angry with her loved ones.
I doubted my honesty.
She condemned others for their sins and weaknesses.
I ate unhealthy food and drank unhealthy drinks.
I did not forgive those who offended me.
I was upset about the losses.
Used other people's work.
She didn’t protect herself from illnesses and didn’t go to doctors.
She deceived herself.
She celebrated the holidays with drinking and earthly hobbies.
Laughed at someone else's misdeeds.
She believed the signs and followed them.
I wished myself death.
She set a bad example with her life.
I was interested in trying on outfits and jewelry.
She slandered people.
I was looking for the culprits of my problems.
I visited fortune tellers and psychics.
It was the cause of discord between people.
I was jealous.
I used food for pleasure, not to satisfy hunger.
I was lazy.
I was afraid of suffering.

We tried to remember and select the most vital situations. As you can see, some of the sins are truly feminine. But there are those that are committed only by the strong half of humanity. We also sorted them out and listed them below.

Example of a confessional speech

At home, preparing for confession, one must correctly identify sins and prepare for announcement.

People who rarely approach the sacrament experience feelings of shame and embarrassment.

To suppress the confusion in their souls, they invent pompous speech, embellishing what was said and including church expressions.

This is wrong and not helpful; When preparing a confessional speech, remember that this is a conversation with God, leading a person from the inside, and excessive pomposity or self-criticism drowns out true feelings.

When preparing for the sacrament and analyzing your actions, be guided by the examples of sins described in the table:

Groups of sins	Name	Description
Against God	Blasphemy against God	Dissatisfaction with life, a person complains, grumbles, considers himself more unhappy than others
	Blasphemy	Mockery of church sacraments, rituals, customs; jokes and humor, church-oriented, it doesn’t matter whether the person is listening or telling
	Oathbreaking	He who takes oaths sins before God
	Word incontinence	Any word or vow given must be kept
	Failure to perform daily prayer, neglect of the soul	In prayer, a person communicates with God; without daily prayer, he moves away from Heavenly Father
	Superstition, turning to fortune tellers, whisperers	This is an abomination to the Lord
Against your neighbor	Disrespect for parents and elders	Failure to keep a commandment given by God
	Causing offense, desecration of one's neighbor	By offending your neighbor, you harm your own soul
	Slander	Lies cause irreparable harm
	Hatred, mockery, humiliation	Equates to homicide
	Grudge	Indicates selfishness and arrogance
	Condemnation	He who condemns his neighbor will be condemned by God
Against yourself	Laziness, idle talk	Corrupts the soul
	Lie	Deadly sin
	Flattery	Same as lies
	Impatience, lack of faith	Weak faith
	Despair, thoughts of suicide	Equates to murder

The sins listed in the table are committed by every person every day; they have entered everyday life and become the norm, destroying and corrupting the soul.

But the fight against vices is a daily feat that requires enormous attention and the desire to improve.

Alone, a person is not able to overcome sins, but with the help of the Creator, he can do a lot.

A more detailed list of sins and a sample of a correctly composed confessional speech is presented in the Orthodox prayer book.

News

Preparing for confession. List of sins for confession

October 26, 2016, 19:49
The sacrament of confession is a test for the soul. It consists of a desire to repent, verbal confession, repentance for sins. When a person goes against the laws of God, he gradually destroys his spiritual and physical shell. Repentance helps to cleanse yourself. It reconciles a person with God. The soul is healed and receives strength to fight sin. Confession allows you to talk about your wrongdoings and receive forgiveness. In excitement and fear, you can forget what you wanted to repent of. The list of sins for confession serves as a reminder, a hint. It can be read in full or used as an outline. The main thing is that the confession is sincere and truthful.

Sacrament

Confession is the main component of repentance. This is an opportunity to ask for forgiveness for your sins and to be cleansed of them. Confession gives spiritual strength to resist evil. Sin is a discrepancy in thoughts, words, and actions with God's permission. Confession is a sincere awareness of wicked actions, a desire to get rid of them. No matter how difficult and unpleasant it may be to remember them, you should tell the clergyman in detail about your sins.

This sacrament requires a complete relationship between feelings and words, because the everyday listing of one’s sins will not bring true cleansing. Feelings without words are as ineffective as words without feelings. There is a list of sins for confession. This is a large list of all obscene actions or words. It is based on the 7 deadly sins and 10 commandments. Human life is too diverse to be absolutely righteous. Therefore, confession is an opportunity to repent of sins and try to prevent them in the future.

How to prepare for confession?

Preparation for confession must take place several days in advance. You can write a list of sins on a piece of paper. You should read special literature about the sacraments of confession and communion. One should not look for excuses for sins, one must recognize their wickedness. It is best to analyze your every day, analyzing what was good and what was bad. This daily habit will help you be more attentive to your thoughts and actions. Before confession, you should make peace with everyone who was offended. Forgive those who offended. Before confession, it is necessary to strengthen the prayer rule. Add to the nightly reading the Canon of Repentance, the canons to the Mother of God and the Guardian Angel.

One should separate personal repentance (when a person mentally repents of his actions) and the sacrament of confession (when a person talks about his sins in the desire to be cleansed of them). The presence of a third party requires a moral effort to understand the depth of the offense and, through overcoming shame, will force you to look more deeply at the wrong actions. This is why a list of sins is so necessary for confession in Orthodoxy. It will help to identify what was forgotten or wanted to be hidden. If you have difficulty compiling a list of sinful actions, you can purchase the book “Full Confession.” It is in every church shop. There is a detailed list of sins for confession and the features of the sacrament. Samples of confession and materials for preparing for it have been published.

Rules

Is there a heaviness in your soul, do you want to speak out, ask for forgiveness? After confession it becomes much easier. This is an open, sincere recognition and repentance of the wrongdoings committed. You can go to confession up to 3 times a week. The desire to be cleansed of sins will help overcome the feeling of stiffness and awkwardness. The less frequent the confession, the more difficult it is to remember all the events and thoughts. The best option for holding the sacrament is once a month. Help in confession - a list of sins - will prompt you with the necessary words. The main thing is that the priest understands the essence of the offense. Then the punishment for sin will be justified.

After confession, the priest imposes penance in difficult cases. This is punishment, excommunication from the holy sacraments and God's grace. Its duration is determined by the priest. In most cases, the penitent faces moral and correctional work. For example, fasting, reading prayers, canons, akathists. Sometimes the priest reads out the list of sins for confession. You can independently write a list of what has been done. It is better to come to confession after the evening service or in the morning, before the liturgy.

In some situations, you should invite the priest to confession at home. This is done if the person is seriously ill or near death.

How does the sacrament work?

Upon entering the temple, you must line up for confession. During the entire sacrament, the cross and the Gospel lie on the lectern. This symbolizes the invisible presence of the Savior. Before confession begins, the priest may start asking questions. For example, about how often prayers are said, whether church rules are followed.

Then the sacrament begins. It is best to prepare your list of sins for confession. A sample of it can always be purchased at the church. If the sins forgiven at the previous confession were repeated, then they should be mentioned again - this is considered a more serious offense. You should not hide anything from the priest or speak in hints. You should clearly explain in simple words the sins you repent of.

If the priest tore up the list of sins for confession, it means that the sacrament is over and absolution has been granted. The priest places an epitrachelion on the head of the penitent. This means the return of God's favor. After this, they kiss the cross and the Gospel, which symbolizes readiness to live according to the commandments.

Preparing for Confession: List of Sins

Confession is intended to comprehend your sin and desire to improve. It is difficult for a person far from the church to understand what actions should be considered wicked. That's why there are 10 commandments. They clearly state what not to do. It is better to prepare a list of sins for confession according to the commandments in advance. On the day of the sacrament, you can get excited and forget everything. Therefore, you should calmly, a few days before confession, re-read the commandments and write down your sins. If it is the first confession, then it is not easy to figure out the seven deadly sins and the ten commandments on your own. Therefore, you should approach the priest in advance and tell him about your difficulties in a personal conversation. A list of sins for confession with an explanation of the sins can be purchased at the church or found on the website of your temple. The transcript describes in detail all the alleged sins. From this general list it is necessary to isolate what was done personally. Then write down your list of offenses.

Sins committed against God

Lack of faith in God, doubts, ingratitude. Absence of a cross on the body, unwillingness to defend the faith in front of detractors. Swearing in the name of God, pronouncing the name of the Lord in vain (not during prayer or conversations about God). Visiting sects, casting fortunes, treating with all kinds of magic, reading and spreading false teachings. Gambling, suicidal thoughts, swearing. Failure to attend church, lack of a daily prayer rule. Failure to observe fasts, reluctance to read Orthodox literature. Condemnation of clergy, thoughts about worldly things during worship. A waste of time on entertainment, watching TV, inactivity at the computer. Despair in difficult situations, excessive reliance on oneself or someone else’s help without faith in God’s providence. Concealing sins in confession.

Sins committed against neighbors

Hot temper, anger, arrogance, pride, vanity. Lies, non-interference, ridicule, stinginess, extravagance. Raising children outside of faith. Non-repayment of debts, non-payment for work, refusal to help those who ask and need. Unwillingness to help parents, disrespect for them. Theft, condemnation, envy. Quarrels, drinking alcohol at funerals. Murder with words (slander, incitement to suicide or illness). Killing a child in the womb, inducing others to have an abortion.

Sins committed against oneself

Foul language, pride, idle talk, gossip. Desire for profit, enrichment. Displaying good deeds. Envy, lies, drunkenness, gluttony, drug use. Fornication, adultery, incest, fornication.

List of sins for a woman to confess

This is a very sensitive list, and many women refuse to confess after reading it. You should not trust any information you read. Even if a brochure with a list of sins for a woman was purchased at a church store, be sure to pay attention to the stamp. There should be an inscription “recommended by the publishing council of the Russian Orthodox Church.”

The clergy do not divulge the secret of confession. Therefore, it is best to undergo the sacrament with a permanent confessor. The Church does not intrude into the sphere of intimate marital relationships. Issues of contraception, which is sometimes equated to abortion, are best discussed with a priest. There are drugs that do not have an abortifacient effect, but only prevent the birth of life. In any case, all controversial issues should be discussed with your spouse, doctor, or confessor.

Here is a list of sins for confession (brief):

She rarely prayed and did not attend church. I thought more about worldly things during prayer. Allowed sexual activity before marriage. Abortion, inducing others to it. Had unclean thoughts and desires. I watched films, read books with pornographic content. Gossip, lies, envy, laziness, resentment. Excessive exposure of the body to attract attention. Fear of old age, wrinkles, thoughts of suicide. Addiction to sweets, alcohol, drugs. Avoiding helping other people. Seeking help from fortune tellers and fortune tellers. Superstition.

List of sins for a man

There is debate about whether a list of sins should be prepared for confession. Some believe that such a list harms the sacrament and promotes the formal reading of offenses. The main thing in confession is to realize your sins, repent and prevent their repetition. Therefore, the list of sins may be a short reminder or absent altogether.

Formal confession is not considered valid, since there is no repentance in it. Returning after the sacrament to your former life will add hypocrisy. The balance of spiritual life lies in understanding the essence of repentance, where confession is only the beginning of awareness of one’s sinfulness. This is a long process consisting of several stages of internal work. The creation of spiritual resources is a systematic adjustment of conscience, responsibility for one’s relationship with God.

Here is a list of sins for confession (brief) for a man:

Sacrilege, conversations in the temple. Doubt about faith, the afterlife. Blasphemy, mockery of the poor. Cruelty, laziness, pride, vanity, greed. Evasion from military service. Avoiding unwanted work, shirking responsibilities. Insults, hatred, fights. Slander, disclosure of other people's weaknesses. Temptation to sin (fornication, drunkenness, drugs, gambling). Refusal to help parents and other people. Theft, aimless collecting. Tendency to boast, argue, and humiliate others. Impudence, rudeness, contempt, familiarity, cowardice.

Confession for a child

For a child, the sacrament of confession can begin at the age of seven. Until this age, children are allowed to receive Communion without this. Parents must prepare the child for confession: explain the essence of the sacrament, tell why it is being performed, and remember with him possible sins.

The child must be made to understand that sincere repentance is preparation for confession. It is better for the child to write the list of sins himself. He must realize what actions were wrong and try not to repeat them in the future.

Older children make their own decisions about whether to confess or not. You should not limit the free will of a child or teenager. The personal example of parents is much more important than all conversations. The child must remember his sins before confession.

A list of them can be compiled after the child answers the questions:

How often does he read prayers (in the morning, in the evening, before meals), which ones does he know by heart? Does he go to church, how does he behave during the service? Does he wear a pectoral cross, is he distracted or not during prayers and services? Have you ever deceived your parents or priest during confession? Weren't you proud of your successes and victories, weren't you arrogant? Does it fight or not with other children, does it offend children or animals? Does he snitch on other children to protect himself? Have you ever committed theft or been jealous of anyone? Have you laughed at other people's physical disabilities? Did you play cards (smoked, drank alcohol, tried drugs, used foul language)? Is he lazy or helps his parents around the house? Did you pretend to be sick to avoid your responsibilities?

Recommendations

1) The person himself determines whether to confess or not, how many times to attend the sacrament. 2) You should prepare a list of sins for confession. It is better to take a sample in the church where the sacrament will take place, or find it yourself in church literature. 3) It is optimal to go to confession with the same clergyman, who will become a mentor and will contribute to spiritual growth. 4) Confession is free of charge.

First you need to ask on what days confessions are held in the church. You should dress appropriately. For men - a shirt or T-shirt with sleeves, trousers or jeans (not shorts). For women - a scarf on the head, no makeup (at least lipstick), a skirt no higher than the knees.

Sincerity of Confession

A priest as a psychologist can recognize how sincere a person is in his repentance. There are confessions that offend the sacrament and the Lord. If a person mechanically talks about sins, has several spiritual fathers, or hides the truth, such actions do not lead to repentance.

Behavior, tone of speech, words used to pronounce confession - all this matters. This is the only way the priest understands how sincere the penitent is. Pangs of conscience, embarrassment, worries, shame contribute to spiritual cleansing.

Sometimes the personality of the priest is important for the parishioner. This is not a reason to condemn and comment on the actions of clergy. You can go to another church or turn to another holy father for confession.

It can be difficult to voice your sins. The emotional experiences are so strong that it is more convenient to make a list of unrighteous actions. Father is attentive to every parishioner. If, due to shame, it is impossible to tell about everything and the repentance is deep, then the priest has the right to forgive the sins, a list of which was compiled before confession, without even reading them.

The meaning of confession

Having to talk about your sins in front of a stranger is embarrassing. Therefore, people refuse to go to confession, believing that God will forgive them anyway. This is the wrong approach. The priest acts only as an intermediary between man and God. His task is to determine the measure of repentance. The priest has no right to condemn anyone; he will not expel a repentant person from the church. During confession, people are very vulnerable, and clergy try not to cause unnecessary suffering.

It is important to see your sin, recognize and condemn it in your soul, and voice it before the priest. Have a desire not to repeat your misdeeds again, try to atone for the harm done through acts of mercy. Confession brings revival of the soul, re-education and access to a new spiritual level.

Sins (list), Orthodoxy, confession imply self-knowledge and the search for grace. All good deeds are done through strength. Only by overcoming yourself, doing works of mercy, and cultivating virtues in yourself, can you receive God's grace.

The meaning of confession lies in understanding the typology of sinners, the typology of sin. At the same time, an individual approach to each repentant is akin to pastoral psychoanalysis. The sacrament of confession is the pain of awareness of sin, recognition of it, the determination to voice and ask for forgiveness for it, cleansing of the soul, joy and peace.

A person must feel the need to repent. Love for God, love for oneself, love for one's neighbor cannot exist separately. The symbolism of the Christian cross - horizontal (love for God) and vertical (love for oneself and one's neighbor) - lies in the awareness of the integrity of spiritual life, its essence.

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What questions does the priest ask?

To help the repentant, the priest asks leading questions:

In what ways have you sinned?
Did you offend anyone?
Have you forgiven everyone?
What thoughts torment the soul.

Sometimes the priest conducts a group confession ceremony of three or more people.

This sacrament is performed when:

A large crowd of people wishing to take part in repentance.
Preparing for a child's baptism.
Before the wedding.

In such cases, everyone lines up in front of the priest, who, addressing those present, says that everyone should pronounce their own sins and read a prayer of absolution.

What is general confession

General, or full, confession is a detailed analysis of the entire life lived, which is done in the presence of a clergyman, in the name of God. It covers various periods, starting from the time when a person learned to independently distinguish between good and evil. Having realized all the sins he has committed and confessed them before the face of the Lord, a Christian receives incomparable freedom from passions and unclean thoughts, and learns not to allow negative acts in the future.

There is a significant difference between ordinary and general confession. Every Orthodox person must undergo the first rite from time to time. Full confession is intended for certain categories of believers. In most cases, the need for it arises only once throughout life.

To undergo general confession, a Christian must remember all his actions committed since the age of 7. During its implementation, the believer manages to fully understand the different aspects of his own sinfulness, and reconsider his life from beginning to end.

Full confession allows you to receive spiritual cleansing and get rid of the heavy burden of the past. Without hiding anything from the priest and God, a person becomes truly renewed and feels the deepest relief. After the general confession, the repentant must leave all his sins at the cross of Christ, no longer remember them and under no circumstances repeat this.

Can a priest refuse to confess and not allow him to take communion?

The priest has the right to refuse confession, but only if the person is unbaptized. In all other situations, such an act is not allowed.

If God has brought a person to church, the minister has no right to refuse the sacrament.

Sometimes, if a person comes to confession at an inopportune time, and the clergyman is very busy with various needs, they agree on the time for the sacrament.

If a sinner has repented of committing mortal sins, the priest has the right to assign penance and not allow him to take communion for a certain period of time.

These forced measures are aimed at healing the soul and should be accepted with gratitude.

Real prayer, done in faith, works miracles, healing souls and bodies. Accustom yourself to daily prayer, talk with God, and he will come to you.

An example of a confessional text for a woman and a man

When mentioning existing sins, it is necessary to call them by their proper names, without using euphemisms (neutral, mitigating expressions). Below you can find an example of a confessional text that can be used by representatives of both sexes:

“Lord, my sins are countless. I have sinned at different periods of my life in thoughts, words, and deeds. During my entire stay on Earth, I sinned by not fulfilling the vows I made at baptism, untruth, rudeness, insolence, pride, obstinacy, irritability, slander, negligence, jealousy, anger. In addition, he sinned with vindictiveness, rancor, voluptuousness, stinginess, greed, contempt for the poor and needy, greed, malice, cowardice, hypocrisy, indifference to the sick and infirm, and the use of physical force against one’s neighbors and animals. I sinned against God through weakness of faith, disrespect for church rules, shrines and holidays, non-observance of fasts, rare reading of prayers, mentioning the name of the Lord in inappropriate situations, despondency, laziness, gluttony, passion for horoscopes, trips to sorcerers and fortune-tellers, lack of love and mercy towards others, inability and unwillingness to resist devilish temptations.

I committed all these sins voluntarily and introduced others to them. I consider myself guilty (guilty) before the face of the Lord, therefore I hopefully pray for forgiveness and humbly trust in God’s mercy. Do not be angry and forgive me, your sinful servant (servant), Our Father.”

The given example of a general confession is brief and generalized. Such a list of sins can be supplemented by more detailed life events.

Full confession also helps to understand the causes of sins. In a conversation with a priest, it will be possible to identify the underlying motives for negative actions. After a cleansing ritual, a person will be able to understand his true purpose in life, quickly learn to forgive his offenders and follow all the canons of Christianity.

How to approach confession and communion?

Reader question:

Good afternoon I am 17 years old and, unfortunately, I have never taken communion; now I realize that all my sins have accumulated on me and this makes it very difficult. There is no person next to me who would explain to me how everything is going, and on the Internet everything is not very clear to me, I still have questions. Please explain a few points to me: when it’s your turn to confess, you need to go up to the priest, tell him your name, he will cover your head, and you need to repent of your sins before him? And then cross yourself and kiss the cross and the Gospel? And how to ask for blessings after everything, in what words? Next, the service begins, and after the service comes communion. How does it go? I’m very scared to make a mistake, to forget some little thing and not do it, please describe it to me!

Ksenia

Archpriest Andrei Efanov answers:

Hello, Ksenia! God's help in your good intentions! I’ll say right away that if any circumstances arise that will prevent you from coming to church, going to confession, communion, and so on, pray silently to God and go, despite all the circumstances. Because it happens that when a person wants to go to church, something disturbing arises, so you have to bypass it and not give up your intentions. Yes, when it’s your turn, you go up to the priest and tell him about the sins you’ve committed, maybe not in “bookish” words, but in your own words, that’s even better. The priest will ask you your name later, when confession is over. Then you bow your head to the Gospel, the priest places the epitrachelion on your head - part of the vestment in which he makes confession - and reads a prayer of permission. Then you are baptized, kiss the cross and the Gospel. If the priest advises you to do something and you do not understand everything, do not hesitate to ask him again and find out. If in a church confession is performed not only during divine services, but also on days when priests are received, when people can come for a conversation, think, maybe it would be more convenient for you to confess not during or before the service, but on such a day. Ask for a blessing like this: place a handful of your right hand on your left, as if in a boat, like when you scoop up water with your hands, and ask: “Bless.” The priest will cross you. Communion is not after the service, it is the main part of the service, that is why the Divine Liturgy is celebrated. The priest comes out with the Chalice, which contains the Body and Blood of Christ. He reads a prayer, and then the believers line up and approach the Chalice one by one. In front of the Chalice, you say the name given to you in Baptism, open your mouth, the priest takes from the Chalice onto a spoon - a special spoon - the Bread and Wine, which have been transformed into the Body and Blood of Christ, and puts it in your mouth, much like when little children are spoon-fed . You have probably seen how Communion takes place. Then you kiss the lower part of the Chalice (see what those who go in front of you will do) and follow everyone to the table on which there is a drink and pieces of special bread - antidor. You eat the antidor and wash it down with a drink, you can do it in the reverse order, first drink it, then the antidor - this is so that there are no particles of Body and Blood left in your mouth. Read prayers of thanksgiving for Holy Communion. If suddenly there is no drink and antidor, it’s okay. And then try to spend the whole day in calmness and peace in order to preserve within you the grace that you received in the Sacrament of Communion.

If you make a mistake about something, don’t worry. Next time, take a closer look and you will walk without fear. And there is no need to be afraid at all. God is Love and all the Sacraments that are performed in the Church are made exclusively for man, so that his soul becomes better and healthier. God bless you! God's help!

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A reminder for those preparing for confession

Let us emphasize that it is not worth turning into trackers and looking for sin. There are recommendations, methodological manuals with an exact list, description and explanation of all sins, reading which it is difficult to understand everything at once. Let's draw a parallel: there are also disease reference books that describe various diseases. They are very voluminous, just their appearance, a huge amount of information and complex, incomprehensible terms can frighten a person if they do not try to understand them.

Approximately the same lists of “diseases”, our sins, can be found in the human soul. And, the more complicated life becomes, the more society and information technology develop, the more modifications and specific branches of sin appear. The result is a kind of “bad infinity” - movement in a circle that does not have its own resolution. Then the question arises, what to repent of? Either a person is not guilty of anything, or he is already so guilty that he can immediately write not a note, but a book.

This is such an important link on the path of a Christian’s life that if you approach it incorrectly, you will not advance anywhere further. It is better to read less of the extended lists of sins, with their various branches and transformations. So as not to get sick and not to come to such a desire for cleanliness that you want to lock yourself in a pressure chamber. You can and should love cleanliness, but you need to understand its relativity, because there will always be a corner where there will be some speck of dust or speck.

How is sin detected? Only in daylight and bright sunshine is dirt visible. If a flashlight, candle or light bulb is shining, then neither dust in the air, nor dirt on polished surfaces, nor anything else will clearly reveal itself. That is, our sins do not manifest themselves when we take a book and study the illness of the soul, and begin to look for its various manifestations in a person’s life. No not like this. Or rather, one can recognize sin in this way, but will it be mourned? We do not recognize him as an enemy. Sins are recognized under the influence of God's mercy. When the Lord acts on His creation, when the grace of Christ truly touches the human soul, then man will read his life like a book and Pushkin’s words will be fulfilled:

Under the influence of God's mercy, a person reevaluates his life. He can read it like a book, like a list of sins and, at the same time, find a list of good deeds, because he is God’s creation and has in himself the Image of the Creator, a good beginning.

This does not mean that you need to categorically reject all lists of sins; nevertheless, they are compiled to help the repentant. We need to understand and know what sins burden our soul. Let's just remember about adequacy and analysis. One must seek the Truth, be the object of Christ's grace. Not to seek encyclopedic knowledge about sin, but for a person to seek God and His Truth. So that a Christian can open his own book of life, not someone else’s, compiled by someone, but his own . Then it will become possible to read lines that have not yet been washed away, but can be washed away thanks to the Sacrament of Repentance.

Let us give a sample of a general list of sins to help a Christian on the path to Repentance and union with God.

The sacrament of confession: how and when should you confess?

Reading time 8 min Author of the publication Natalia GlotovaNG

Every believer knows that confession is one of the most important and significant rites of the Christian church. The ability to first realize all your sins, sincerely repent of them and fully reveal yourself to God through confession is a very important stage in spiritual development and self-improvement for every believer.

But, unfortunately, not everyone, even a deeply religious person baptized in the church, regularly goes to confession. In most cases, this is prevented by a feeling of embarrassment and awkwardness; some are stopped by pride.

All adults and children over 7 years old can come to church and repent; children under this age go to communion.

Nowadays, many adults are not accustomed to repent of their sins, so they cannot decide to take this step and put off the day of repentance for a long time. Moreover, the older a person becomes, the more difficult it is for him to decide to take this step.

Often people come to confess for the first time before baptism or then, years later, they decide to legitimize their marriage before the Lord, i.e. get married Before the wedding, as a rule, an individual confession takes place, after which the priest allows the wedding to take place. Both future spouses must repent before the wedding.

In order to remove the heaviness from your soul, begin to talk with God and sincerely repent of everything you have done, you need to learn how to go through confession in church, because this ritual must be performed according to certain rules. You can find out how communion and confession take place from church workers, as well as in church shops usually located nearby.

Rite of repentance

Confession in the Christian faith is an admission of your sins before a priest who is a witness of your repentance on behalf of Christ. With special prayers and words of permission, the priest forgives the sins of everyone who sincerely regrets them. According to the rules of the Christian Church:

Anyone over 7 years old can undergo the ceremony.
A church representative cannot force confession. This decision is voluntary.

During the procedure, the layperson must list everything that he considers necessary. If he is at a loss, the Holy Father can push him with leading questions. It is better when every Orthodox Christian has his own spiritual mentor, who knows a person from childhood and can help him grow spiritually, act not only as a priest, but also as a teacher.

Today, according to all laws, confession is a secret matter, and a priest cannot be convicted if he refused to disclose the facts known to him from confession. This is done so that anyone can cleanse their soul, since everyone has the right to do so. To feel confident with a priest, you need to think everything through in advance and prepare

What should it be like?

Confession is a special Sacrament, during which a believer, through a priest, sincerely tells God about all his sins and asks for forgiveness for them, and also promises not to commit such actions ever again in his life. In order for a person to feel how his soul has been cleansed, making him feel light and light, it is necessary to take the conversation with the clergy very seriously.

It is important to understand that the ritual of remission of sins is not a monotonous listing of them out loud, for the Lord God already knows everything about them. He expects something completely different from a believer! He expects from him sincere, sincere repentance and a great desire to cleanse himself, so as not to do this again in the future. Only with such feelings and desires should you go to church.

“How does confession go?” - this question worries everyone who wants to confess for the first time.

The sacrament occurs according to certain rules:

Cast aside your fear and shame to admit to the priest that you are an imperfect and sinful person;
The main components of the ritual are sincere feelings, bitter repentance and faith in the forgiveness of the Almighty, who will certainly hear you;
It is necessary to repent of your sins regularly and often. The belief that it is enough to come to church once, tell the priest about everything at one time and never return here again is fundamentally wrong;
The ritual must be carried out seriously. If your soul is disturbed by the fact that bad thoughts come into your head or you have committed a minor everyday offense, then you can repent of these acts at home in prayers in front of the icon;
There is no need to hide your sins even when they seem very terrible and shameful to you.

During this ritual, it is imperative to confess to all wrongdoings, otherwise you will commit another sin - you will try to hide your actions and thoughts from God, and deceive Him. Since going through confession and communion is a very responsible matter, you need to carefully and meaningfully prepare for it.

Example, contrition for sins

God! Sometimes I go to Your House, wanting to cleanse my soul from the burden of sin. I’m trying to unwind the snake coil that lies on my heart, but I’m afraid to reveal my uncleanness to the priest. I try to disguise the essence of sins with general words, I clothe them in harmless clothes: just as everyone else sins, so do I, no worse. I wish you forgiveness and release, but with lies I am aggravating my fallen situation, trying to deceive You.

Laziness and indifference have bound my soul : I don’t pray to You either in the morning or in the evening. I stand in the church like a soulless mannequin: there is no repentance in me, I’m only waiting for the service to end faster. I don’t understand the prayers said in the Temple. I do not strive to find out the meaning of the days to which service is dedicated. I rarely go to church, and if I stood there, absentmindedly crossing myself, repeating the movements of true Christians, I consider that I have accomplished a feat, done a favor to You, Lord. Forgive this stony insensitivity to your salvation.
I have no love for either the living or the dead. Remembering them, I will not shed a single tear, my prayer for them is cold, as if their heavenly fate is known to me. I think that the priest’s prayer is enough. I have neither sympathy for my loved ones (including my parents), nor the desire to take even a tiny vow for their sake. I believe that the good Lord will save everyone without any effort or sacrifice on my part. Lord, forgive me.
The heinous sin of Adultery . I am already old and sick, so the depraved past has moved away from me, but I cannot go through this ordeal. All the dirt of this sin has stuck to me, but I don’t have the strength to admit everything. I think that Mary of Egypt, before leaving for the desert, was purer than me. I repent and hate myself for these vile deeds. Lord, forgive me, don’t destroy me, the vile one.
Pride and vanity are my constant companions. The Lord instructed me constantly. He admonished me, gave me the opportunity to experience humiliation and insults in order to reduce the arrogance of my nature. But I am so slow to correct that I cannot humble myself even under the hand of the Lord. I see my fall, but pride does not leave me. Lord, have mercy and give me strength to become a humble Christian, forgive me for my donkey stubbornness.
Lie. She accompanies me everywhere. Previously, I didn’t even notice that I was lying for any reason or without reason. I lied out of fear of discovering the truth; to obtain any benefit; just out of habit; for the sake of vanity, to embellish the mask that is my real essence. Lies, the seed of the devil, grew in me like a huge tree and took root. Harmful words roll off my tongue before I can even comprehend them. Lord, forgive me, give me some reason, get rid of this habit. Learn to tell the truth always and everywhere.
Condemnation. Lord, from childhood I remember the phrase: Judge not, lest ye be judged. But I never adhered to this instruction. I condemn everyone: acquaintances, relatives, neighbors, colleagues, authorities. From the height of my pride I will always find flaws in others, but not in myself. Forgive me, Lord. Help me get rid of this so that I can see only my own sins and not judge others. Teach humble repentance and prayer, etc., etc.

In order not to work in vain, think about your sins like this. This repentance, brought to the Lord, adjusts the soul, leads to purification, so as to hate one’s deeds and not repeat them every now and then. Having contrition, you will notice how after confession not only does it become easier, but from many “amusements” of the flesh the heart begins to turn away, affairs and relationships improve, illnesses go away.

Preparation

Proper preparation for it plays a big role in how successfully the rite of absolution will take place. It is necessary to tune in to communication with the Almighty, to a sincere and frank conversation with the clergy. Prepare internally and externally, think through every single moment.

Before going to confession, be alone at home in a calm environment. Concentrate and try to grasp the idea that soon you will have to communicate with God in the church, in his Temple. You should not be distracted by anything around you, because you are preparing to commit a very important act in your life. The prayers of John Chrysostom will help you get in the right frame of mind and prepare.
Remember all your sins and transgressions, start with mortal ones, then remember whether you sinned with anger, pride or love of money, restore in your memory the pictures of sins. Ministers recommend that you prepare yourself for repentance long and carefully; you need to pray a lot, remember your sins in solitude, and it is advisable to fast.
In order not to forget anything and not to miss any sin, you can write everything down on a piece of paper. It is especially important to use such a cheat sheet during your very first frank conversation with a priest.
When going to confession, you need to pay special attention to your appearance. Women must wear a skirt below the knees and a jacket with covered shoulders and arms, and must cover their heads with a scarf.
It is better to avoid wearing cosmetics on this day; painting your lips is generally prohibited, because you will need to venerate the cross. Men should also not be naked, even if it’s hot outside, you shouldn’t go to church in shorts and a T-shirt.

How to prepare for the ceremony

Preparing to confess sins before communion is a lot of work on yourself, requiring deep introspection. It consists of several closely interrelated points:

awareness of existing sins. A person who wishes to confess must clearly understand the difference between sin and the absence of such. The first concept combines everything that contradicts the will of God, his plan for the world and man, and goes against the 10 commandments of Christianity;
focusing on your wrongdoings. During a conversation with a priest, it is necessary to mention only personal unseemly acts. At the same time, it is important to avoid downplaying them and making excuses. Stories about the behavior of other people, be they relatives, friends or strangers, are unacceptable. It is important to remember that sin is always the result of one’s own choice, which depends only on the individual;
lack of a pre-compiled list of sins. Coming to church with such a list, you can turn the sacrament of confession into a kind of formality. Instead, it is recommended to focus on what you would like to tell the clergyman, and through him, the Lord, and make such a list mentally.

Important to consider! In some cases, a person becomes very worried before confession and loses the ability to speak in his own words. This is especially true for those who are talking with a priest for the first time. For this reason, the last point does not always require mandatory implementation.

When preparing to visit the temple, you need to highlight the really important events, without attaching importance to the little things. You should definitely focus on your attitude towards your neighbors and the Creator, think about what needs to be changed in your own life first of all.

Before confession, a Christian should ask for forgiveness from everyone whom he has offended by word or deed. If possible, you need to reconcile with these people or apologize to them mentally.

How is it going?

People who want to go to confession for the first time are worried about how everything will happen. In Orthodox churches and temples, both general confessions are held, which everyone can attend, as well as individual conversations with parishioners.

At general confessions, the priest absolves the sins of all believers who come to the temple, while he lists those sins and transgressions that people commit most often. This is done in order to remind people of sins that they may have forgotten.

Upon entering the church, you need to go to the lectern, the place where there is a queue of those wishing to confess. While you are waiting for your turn, you need to pray and remember your sins. When your turn comes, you need to approach the priest, who will ask your name, what you want to talk about and what you want to repent of.
You need to tell everything as it is, without embarrassment and without hiding anything, you need to answer the questions asked by the priest honestly. It is important to remember that only you and the priest will know everything you tell.
During confession, the clergyman covers the person's head with part of his clothing, which resembles an apron. This is an obligatory part of the ritual; at this moment the priest will read a prayer. After which he will give his instructions and, perhaps, assign penance, that is, punishment.
A sincerely repentant person has his sins forgiven forever. After the end of the ceremony, you must cross yourself and kiss the cross and the Gospel. Then you need to ask the priest for his blessing. Confession in churches usually takes place on certain days, which you need to know about in advance.

It is important for every believer to know the following points:

the sacrament of confession is always performed free of charge;
whether a person confesses or not is his personal decision;
It is prohibited to force one to confess.

It is best if you have a permanent confessor who will monitor your spiritual growth and guide you on the true path.

If for some reason you are not yet a baptized person and want to be baptized as an adult, you need to first find out in church how confession should take place before baptism.

How often should you go to confession?

The minimum is before each Communion (according to church canons, the faithful receive communion no more than once a day and no less than once every 3 weeks), the maximum number of confessions is not established and is left to the discretion of the Christian himself.

It should be remembered that repentance is a desire to be reborn, it does not begin with confession and does not end with it, it is a matter of a lifetime. That is why the Sacrament is called the Sacrament of Repentance, and not the “Sacrament of the Enumeration of Sins.” Repentance for sin consists of three stages: Repent of the sin as soon as you have committed it; remember him at the end of the day and again ask God for forgiveness for him (see the last prayer in the Evening Prayer Rule); confess it and receive absolution from sins in the Sacrament of Confession.

Structure of confession

The well-known church figure of our time, Archimandrite John (Krestyankin), identified two options for constructing a confession:

according to the ten commandments;
according to the beatitudes.

In his book on confession, the hierarch gives an example of how one can make confession and repent of one’s sins. The Archimandrite analyzes each of the commandments and describes what duties Christians must have before God according to these commandments. John points out to readers the mistakes in everyday life that lead to forgetting the faith.

He analyzes the Beatitudes and points out what people neglect. Considering the second beatitude (“blessed are those who mourn”), he asks the reader whether he has mourned the desecration of God’s image in himself, his unchristian life, and his outbursts of pride and anger. He shows readers how far they stand from the stages of moral perfection.

This book is recognized as a good guide to explaining what should be considered sin in human life. But it cannot be an instruction on what to say. The repentant must choose the words that will come from his heart and sincerely desire to repent.