After confession, do they kiss the cross or the gospel first?

What to say in confession to the priest: what words to start with, how to end correctly

Many new parishioners joining Orthodoxy are concerned about issues of correct behavior in the Temple during confession.
Consider:

• How to approach the priest.
• What words should I start my confession with?
• What words should you use to end your repentance speech?
• Can a priest refuse confession to a parishioner, and for what reasons?

This article will introduce the reader to some rules of conduct in church and shed light on the most frequently asked questions about confession and communion.

Confession - sins: listing for women and men

Sins have existed since the time of Adam and Eve. They are so varied that perhaps some do not even know that they are sinning. We offer you a list of sins that men and women can expose themselves to:

• Violated the rules of behavior in the temple.
• He complained about his life and those around him.
• Didn't perform prayers diligently.
• She did not abstain from carnal pleasures during pregnancy, as well as on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. I was with my husband during the days of fasting.
• Didn’t repent of sin right away.
• Commemorated the deceased with alcohol.
• He condemned and doubted his neighbors.
• Had (a) sinful dreams.
• Sinful (of) gluttony.
• He praised people, not the Lord.
• I was too lazy to go to church on Sundays.
• He deceived, he was a hypocrite, he was cowardly.
• He believed in omens and was superstitious.
• Concealed sins during confession.
• Wore clothes that were not modest, looked at other people's nakedness.

Reading prayers is necessary daily

• I was ashamed to be baptized, and took off my cross when meeting people.
• I did not pray before eating food, I went to bed without prayer.
• He condemned the priests.
• Advised or had an abortion.
• Spent money on entertainment and events.
• Spoiled the water while swimming in the river from which they take drinking water.
• Visited fortune tellers.
• Sold and produced alcoholic beverages.
• Being unclean, I went to the temple.
• Telling sinful stories from the lives of close friends or relatives.
• He sinned (a) fornication and masturbation.
• Took contraceptives, contraceptives.
• Visited wicked places.
• Had intimacy with a person of the same sex.
• I was doing exercises in the morning and not reading prayers.
• On Sundays I went not to church, but to the forest or to the river.
• He was jealous of his wife (husband). I tried to kill my opponent with the help of healers.
• I dreamed about traveling.
• I bought lottery tickets, hoping to get rich.
• During breastfeeding, she had a relationship with her husband.
• Instead of prayer, I read magazines and watched TV.
• She prayed with her head uncovered (for men - in a headdress).
• Permitted (a) sinful relationship without being married.
• Had the sin of sodomy (connection with animals, with a blood relative).

This is just a short list of sins. There are 472 of them listed on the pages of spiritual books. Some of them are repeated or indicated with additional clarifications.

How to approach the priest for confession

Having decided to confess, treat it with full responsibility:

• Think about your sins.
• Make peace with your loved ones.
• Forgive the insults.
• Ask for forgiveness.

People who come to confession for the first time find it difficult to contact a priest without knowing:

• What words should you use to approach the bishop?
• What to say in confession.
• What questions does the priest, etc. ask?

Many people get confused and are afraid of looking ridiculous.

This issue is explained in detail on the ABC of Faith website, where anyone can learn the basic rules online:

1. When preparing for confession at home, pray to God asking him to reveal the sins you have committed.
2. When going to church, do not rely on memory, but write down your sins on a piece of paper. Many, approaching the lectern where confession takes place, forget what to say from the experience.
3. Approaching the priest, he bows his head and, folding his hands crosswise in front of him, asks for a blessing.
4. Then place two fingers of your right hand on the Holy Crucifix, and your head on the Bible.
5. The priest covers the penitent with a piece of clothing (epistrachelion), asks his name and asks him to name the sins committed by the person.
6. If the applicant finds it difficult to say the necessary words, the confessor asks some leading questions.
7. After the end of the sacrament, a prayer of permission is said over the repentant and the veil is removed from the head.
8. The penitent crosses himself, kisses the Crucifix and the Bible.
9. The priest gives the hand to be kissed and blesses the one who has repented.

Note! In the sacrament of confession, a person is left alone with God, and the priest is only a witness of reconciliation.

What to do after confession

The very first thing to do is to thank the Lord for the forgiveness of sins. Unfortunately, some people forget about this. But this is His great gift, thanks to which the human soul is cleansed of filth.

You also need to make a firm decision to change your life. It is not enough to simply confess a sin to God: you must try to never repeat such a thing again in the future. It is important to remember that for a Christian, repentance and the fight against sin is the work of a lifetime that never ends.

With sincere repentance in confession, all sins are forgiven. But this does not mean that you can immediately forget about them. No, we should always remember the sins committed earlier, for we need this for humility and for protection from possible falls in the future.

If you confess regularly enough, over time it becomes difficult to remember your sins. But this does not mean that they do not exist: they simply begin to “hide” from us. In this case, we can ask the Lord to grant us a vision of our own sins.

What words to start naming your sins and how to finish correctly

Many do not understand sins, not seeing anything reprehensible in what they have done, therefore, to perform the sacrament of reconciliation with God, they name the first words they like from the general reminder to the person going to confession.

This is fundamentally wrong and does not bring any benefit. To meaningfully prepare for the sacrament, recreate your own life in detail in your mind, noticing actions that evoke a feeling of regret and repentance for what you have done.

Such acts must be named during confession, without embellishing or belittling anything.

When starting the sacrament, tell God that you have sinned against him and begin to list the unseemly acts you have committed. During a conversation with God, there is no need to describe in detail what was done; it is enough to briefly state the essence.

After finishing the dialogue, say that you repent of what you did and ask the Lord to forgive your sins.

The priest, being nearby and witnessing the dialogue that took place, will give advice on how to behave correctly in later life in order to get rid of such actions.

How many times do you need to confess?

Photo: Elitsy.ru
The Church claims that it is best when a person confesses as soon as he commits an offense because of which his conscience torments him. In practice this is not always possible. In former times, it was customary to confess and receive communion every Sunday.

It is recommended to attend Confession as often as possible, because no one can be immune from serious illness or sudden death. Then you may simply not have time to confess. But it is precisely because of the sins committed that a person is often punished by the Almighty. Confession in most cases is combined with another Sacrament - Communion. But this is not necessary: ​​it is allowed to attend Confession, and then not go to Communion.

Example of a confessional speech

At home, preparing for confession, one must correctly identify sins and prepare for announcement.

People who rarely approach the sacrament experience feelings of shame and embarrassment.

To suppress the confusion in their souls, they invent pompous speech, embellishing what was said and including church expressions.

This is wrong and not helpful; When preparing a confessional speech, remember that this is a conversation with God, leading a person from the inside, and excessive pomposity or self-criticism drowns out true feelings.

When preparing for the sacrament and analyzing your actions, be guided by the examples of sins described in the table:

The sins listed in the table are committed by every person every day; they have entered everyday life and become the norm, destroying and corrupting the soul.

But the fight against vices is a daily feat that requires enormous attention and the desire to improve.

Alone, a person is not able to overcome sins, but with the help of the Creator, he can do a lot.

A more detailed list of sins and a sample of a correctly composed confessional speech is presented in the Orthodox prayer book.

What questions does the priest ask?

To help the repentant, the priest asks leading questions:

• In what ways have you sinned?
• Did you offend anyone?
• Have you forgiven everyone?
• What thoughts torment the soul.

Sometimes the priest conducts a group confession ceremony of three or more people.

This sacrament is performed when:

• A large crowd of people wishing to take part in repentance.
• Preparing for a child's baptism.
• Before the wedding.

In such cases, everyone lines up in front of the priest, who, addressing those present, says that everyone should pronounce their own sins and read a prayer of absolution.

Can a priest refuse to confess and not allow him to take communion?

The priest has the right to refuse confession, but only if the person is unbaptized. In all other situations, such an act is not allowed.

If God has brought a person to church, the minister has no right to refuse the sacrament.

Sometimes, if a person comes to confession at an inopportune time, and the clergyman is very busy with various needs, they agree on the time for the sacrament.

If a sinner has repented of committing mortal sins, the priest has the right to assign penance and not allow him to take communion for a certain period of time.

These forced measures are aimed at healing the soul and should be accepted with gratitude.

Real prayer, done in faith, works miracles, healing souls and bodies. Accustom yourself to daily prayer, talk with God, and he will come to you.

Teenage and childhood sins in confession: list

A child confesses from the age of seven. Until this time, communion without confession is allowed. For children and adolescents, during confession the following sins are expected to be indicated (if any, of course):

• I forgot about reading prayers in the morning and evening, as well as before and after meals.
• I did not prepare for confession.
• Rarely visited the temple.
• I didn’t know the basic prayers: Our Father, Creed, Virgin Mary, Rejoice.
• Didn't listen to parents and teachers.
• Raised his voice at elders.
• He fought and called children names.
• Didn't study lessons.
• Played gambling.
• Didn't go to confession after reaching 7 years old.
• Had fun on fast days.
• Applied tattoos to the body.
• He did not accustom his younger relatives to the word of God.
• Was not respectful towards his godmother or godfather.
• Stole or took without asking.
• Not being able to do it, I tried to draw icons.
• He did not live according to Divine laws.
• Smoked (a).

Teach your child to church

How to approach confession and communion?

Reader question:

Good afternoon I am 17 years old and, unfortunately, I have never taken communion; now I realize that all my sins have accumulated on me and this makes it very difficult. There is no person next to me who would explain to me how everything is going, and on the Internet everything is not very clear to me, I still have questions. Please explain a few points to me: when it’s your turn to confess, you need to go up to the priest, tell him your name, he will cover your head, and you need to repent of your sins before him? And then cross yourself and kiss the cross and the Gospel? And how to ask for blessings after everything, in what words? Next, the service begins, and after the service comes communion. How does it go? I’m very scared to make a mistake, to forget some little thing and not do it, please describe it to me!

Ksenia

Archpriest Andrei Efanov answers:

Hello, Ksenia! God's help in your good intentions! I’ll say right away that if any circumstances arise that will prevent you from coming to church, going to confession, communion, and so on, pray silently to God and go, despite all the circumstances. Because it happens that when a person wants to go to church, something disturbing arises, so you have to bypass it and not give up your intentions. Yes, when it’s your turn, you go up to the priest and tell him about the sins you’ve committed, maybe not in “bookish” words, but in your own words, that’s even better. The priest will ask you your name later, when confession is over. Then you bow your head to the Gospel, the priest places the epitrachelion on your head - part of the vestment in which he makes confession - and reads a prayer of permission. Then you are baptized, kiss the cross and the Gospel. If the priest advises you to do something and you do not understand everything, do not hesitate to ask him again and find out. If in a church confession is performed not only during divine services, but also on days when priests are received, when people can come for a conversation, think, maybe it would be more convenient for you to confess not during or before the service, but on such a day. Ask for a blessing like this: place a handful of your right hand on your left, as if in a boat, like when you scoop up water with your hands, and ask: “Bless.” The priest will cross you. Communion is not after the service, it is the main part of the service, that is why the Divine Liturgy is celebrated. The priest comes out with the Chalice, which contains the Body and Blood of Christ. He reads a prayer, and then the believers line up and approach the Chalice one by one. In front of the Chalice, you say the name given to you in Baptism, open your mouth, the priest takes from the Chalice onto a spoon - a special spoon - the Bread and Wine, which have been transformed into the Body and Blood of Christ, and puts it in your mouth, much like when little children are spoon-fed . You have probably seen how Communion takes place. Then you kiss the lower part of the Chalice (see what those who go in front of you will do) and follow everyone to the table on which there is a drink and pieces of special bread - antidor. You eat the antidor and wash it down with a drink, you can do it in the reverse order, first drink it, then the antidor - this is so that there are no particles of Body and Blood left in your mouth. Read prayers of thanksgiving for Holy Communion. If suddenly there is no drink and antidor, it’s okay. And then try to spend the whole day in calmness and peace in order to preserve within you the grace that you received in the Sacrament of Communion.

If you make a mistake about something, don’t worry. Next time, take a closer look and you will walk without fear. And there is no need to be afraid at all. God is Love and all the Sacraments that are performed in the Church are made exclusively for man, so that his soul becomes better and healthier. God bless you! God's help!

An archive of all questions can be found. If you do not find the question you are interested in, you can always ask it on our website.

On the screensaver there is a fragment of the photo www.flickr.com/spda

Revelation of thoughts and confession of a layman

- Vladyka, today you can hear different points of view regarding confession: it should be frequent or rare, regular or only in case of falling into serious sins... Which approach, in your opinion, is the most correct?
“I think that now a period has come in the life of our Church when these issues are being tested by life. The practice of half a century ago or the Synodal era is no longer acceptable - today, as a rule, people take communion more often. And life itself has changed a lot. Previous approaches and solutions can no longer satisfy people, so new ones are being developed - including in such discussions. It is very good that discussions are taking place, that people are aware, thinking, and reasoning.

It is impossible to formalize spiritual life. The monastic path is the royal path, the middle path, which the Holy Fathers determined long ago and which we all need to follow. The path of obedience, cutting off one’s will, patience, humility, meekness. I believe that these issues will eventually be resolved and I hope that they will not be enshrined in any mandatory rules. Now is not the time for there to be one pattern: to take communion or confess so many times on so many days. Moreover, there are no strict canons on this matter - there are different practices, different customs. There must be a certain degree of freedom in this crucial matter. Each person, with the help of a confessor, solves it in his own way. And it’s up to the parishioner to find the confessor he needs, who can help him.

— Should every communion be accompanied by a preliminary confession? Is it possible to receive Communion without confession or if confession took place several days before Communion?

— In my opinion, if a person does not feel any serious sins that would force him to seek a full confession, he does not have to confess before every communion. The Sacrament of Repentance is, after all, an important independent sacrament, a “second baptism” and it is unacceptable to reduce it to some kind of obligatory appendage to the Eucharist. After all, confession often becomes formal due to the fact that a person gets used to the idea: confession is what I will call before the priest, repentance is what I will tell him. But this, at best, can be called a revelation of thoughts. And often it's just a conversation. There is no ardent, deep repentance before God, and a person, perhaps, does not even pay attention to it.

We must understand that repentance occurs not only at the moment of confession. Repentance is a state of mind, it is the determination to break with sin and change your life. It can happen at any time in life. They often ask: what should I do if at home I repented, cried, but came to confession, and there was nothing in my heart - I just dryly confessed? It's OK. Thank God that you repented at home - the Lord will accept this too.

If we understand repentance this way, it becomes clear that it is not necessary to go to confession to the priest before each Communion. It’s okay if, while you receive communion three or four times a month, you confess only twice.

“Whoever finds this money must build a monastery and three monasteries with it.”

Athos. Esphigmen Monastery. View from the cell where St. Anthony of Kiev-Pechersk.

Bishop of Trinity Pankraty and monk Simeon of Athos (hieromonk Simon Beskrovny).

Athos. Vatopedi Monastery. Hieromonk David (pictured on the left).

Ossuary of the Lavra of St. Afanasia.

Athos.

Omodos village (Cyprus). Medieval press "Linos", which was used to make wine.

Monastery of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Ormilia), Chalkidiki (Greece).

Athos. With o. Benedict. Skete of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary at the Simonopetra Monastery.

Athos. Vatopedi Monastery. Panigir of St. Eudokim (Sava) of Vatopedi (October 5, O.S.). Choir. Brotherly choir.

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To holy places. Athos and more

— Is our traditional practice of confession useful as a revelation of thoughts?

— I don’t think at all that revelation of thoughts is always useful for the laity. The confession of a layman and the monastic revelation of thoughts are completely different things. A monk ideally should reveal to his spiritual father all the movements of his soul and take blessings for everything. For a layman this is impossible and even harmful. It’s strange when wives ask priests what they should ask their husbands: where to go on vacation, whether to buy this or that thing, whether to have more children...

Some important events can be sanctified with the blessing of a priest, but it should not be decisive and decisive. The laity themselves must decide issues related to their lives.

I am against monastic eldership extending to the laity - it creates the ground for such a dangerous phenomenon as young age or, more precisely, false eldership. A layman needs to know the basics of faith, read the Gospel, live according to it, and use the advice of a confessor in his spiritual life.

The sacrament of confession: how and when should you confess?

Reading time 8 min Author of the publication Natalia GlotovaNG

Every believer knows that confession is one of the most important and significant rites of the Christian church. The ability to first realize all your sins, sincerely repent of them and fully reveal yourself to God through confession is a very important stage in spiritual development and self-improvement for every believer.

But, unfortunately, not everyone, even a deeply religious person baptized in the church, regularly goes to confession. In most cases, this is prevented by a feeling of embarrassment and awkwardness; some are stopped by pride.

All adults and children over 7 years old can come to church and repent; children under this age go to communion.

Nowadays, many adults are not accustomed to repent of their sins, so they cannot decide to take this step and put off the day of repentance for a long time. Moreover, the older a person becomes, the more difficult it is for him to decide to take this step.

Often people come to confess for the first time before baptism or then, years later, they decide to legitimize their marriage before the Lord, i.e. get married Before the wedding, as a rule, an individual confession takes place, after which the priest allows the wedding to take place. Both future spouses must repent before the wedding.

In order to remove the heaviness from your soul, begin to talk with God and sincerely repent of everything you have done, you need to learn how to go through confession in church, because this ritual must be performed according to certain rules. You can find out how communion and confession take place from church workers, as well as in church shops usually located nearby.

Communion - the meaning of the Liturgy

— Vladyka, how do you advise preparing for Communion?

— A feeling of repentance should accompany us constantly, and this, strictly speaking, should be our main preparation for Communion. If we constantly prepare to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ and receive them as often as we can, then this will be the correct Christian dispensation.

— Until now, oddly enough, there are disputes not only about the frequency, but even about the days when Communion is possible: some priests do not give Communion to adults on Bright Week, because on these days it is not necessary to fast...

- Don’t go to such priests. Let their temples be empty. If it’s somewhere in the wilderness, you’ll have to be patient. Or ask. Ask and it will be given to you.

Well, how does the priest himself serve (sometimes several times a week)? He also receives communion. Why does he extend other requirements of fasting to his parishioners? Why does he require them to strictly fast for a week, but he himself does not fast? Why does he make an exception for himself? Why does he place “unbearable burdens” on his flock?

Pioneers

And so on December 13, on the day of remembrance of the Holy Apostle Andrew the First-Called, the question was decided positively - to go!

If we observe the Wednesday and Friday fasts, no additional fasting is needed to prepare for Communion. By the way, this is exactly how they live on Mount Athos now: they fast on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and receive communion four days a week - Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday (after fasting days) and Sunday. And this is absolutely correct: people live by Christ. Liturgy is the center of their lives, around which everything else is built. It's impossible otherwise.

It is clear that lay people cannot live like monks. But it is possible to try to have the Liturgy, the union with Christ, at the center.

The opinion of many holy fathers is known that it is necessary to receive communion more often. This is clear to any person who studies this issue even a little. The meaning of the liturgy is to receive communion. After all, the Lord says: drink from the Cup, everyone - everyone is invited.

Another thing is that we are not always worthy to begin the Cup. But you cannot exaggerate your unworthiness. “No one is worthy” is said in the liturgical prayer of St. Basil the Great. But this does not mean that there is no need to approach the Sacrament - if we do not receive Communion, there will be no Life in us, there will be no Christ. We'll just die. This should be completely clear to every Christian.

It happens that believers limit themselves to Communion once a month or only on great holidays. It's not very good. In my opinion, it is right for a Christian to partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ at every Sunday service, and to prepare for this all the previous days with prayer, an attentive life, and a repentant attitude. But, of course, every Christian must decide when to receive communion independently, after consulting with his confessor.

Monasticism as a second baptism, in which all a person’s previous sins are forgiven and he begins a new life, is repeatedly spoken of in ascetic literature.

In “Evergetinos” we read the story of a perspicacious old man who said: “The power that I saw descending on the person being baptized, I also saw under the monastic vestment at the moment of tonsure.”

Then follows a series of questions, answering which, the tonsured person pronounces the three main vows of monasticism: chastity, non-covetousness and obedience.

And the cassock that is given to all novices is the same for everyone: for Patriarchs and Metropolitans, abbots, seminarians, and new novices.

Monastic tonsure, whether into the small or great schema, cannot be considered a simple rite.

The cutting of hair is done so that “by removing insensible powers, one can put aside dumb thoughts and deeds and become worthy to receive the good and easy yoke of the Lord and take up the cross and follow the Master Christ.”

Saint Theodore the Studite compares the adoption of the schema with baptism and asserts that “there is one schema,” and its degrees only state spiritual growth within the monastic path.

Acceptance of monasticism is impossible without the special will of God, without the care of the Lord, without a calling. Therefore, it is right to come to the monastery, and not “leave” there just out of grief.

The abbot cuts his hair crosswise “as a sign of the denial of the world and everything in the world, and to cut off his will and all carnal lusts.”

The revival of Russian monasticism is not a matter of laws and measures, but of individuals living by the high ideal of monasticism. To be a monk by vocation, to become different in life, and not just in rank, is a long path to soul transformation.

Bishop Pankratiy reads out the meaning of the monastic feat, tests the determination and makes sure of the voluntary desire of the candidates.

“Do not grant anyone the monastic image before the three-year time given to them for testing reveals them capable and worthy of such a life.”

It is no coincidence that the initial stage of monastic life is called novice: every monk, no matter what rank he is in, is a novice.

The Athonite elder Ephraim Katunaksky said that “monks replenish the number of angels, replacing the fallen angels.” So we can say that during monastic tonsure, often compared to Baptism, a person dies and an angel is born.

Anyone entering the Valaam Brotherhood must realize the importance of the step by which he expresses the desire to be obedient to death.

We need not to relax, to endure all those temporary disturbances and temptations, all those sorrows that are inevitable on the monastic path, for the sake of the promise.

“The main purpose of Valaam from God is to be a place of solitary monastic prayer, a place of exploits, and, of course, we must always remember this,” recalls Bishop Pankraty of Trinity. “There is a certain Spiritual, Heavenly Balaam, and we can be in it.”

“Putting on monastic robes is a sacrament, just like the laying on of crowns in marriage. You put on monastic robes instead of crowns. And so you are disheartened by Christ, taking a vow of virginity for the rest of your life.” Elder Joseph of Athos

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“Desiring a fasting life” (monastic tonsure)

What should it be like?

Confession is a special Sacrament, during which a believer, through a priest, sincerely tells God about all his sins and asks for forgiveness for them, and also promises not to commit such actions ever again in his life. In order for a person to feel how his soul has been cleansed, making him feel light and light, it is necessary to take the conversation with the clergy very seriously.

It is important to understand that the ritual of remission of sins is not a monotonous listing of them out loud, for the Lord God already knows everything about them. He expects something completely different from a believer! He expects from him sincere, sincere repentance and a great desire to cleanse himself, so as not to do this again in the future. Only with such feelings and desires should you go to church.

“How does confession go?” - this question worries everyone who wants to confess for the first time.

The sacrament occurs according to certain rules:

• Cast aside your fear and shame to admit to the priest that you are an imperfect and sinful person;
• The main components of the ritual are sincere feelings, bitter repentance and faith in the forgiveness of the Almighty, who will certainly hear you;
• It is necessary to repent of your sins regularly and often. The belief that it is enough to come to church once, tell the priest about everything at one time and never return here again is fundamentally wrong;
• The ritual must be carried out seriously. If your soul is disturbed by the fact that bad thoughts come into your head or you have committed a minor everyday offense, then you can repent of these acts at home in prayers in front of the icon;
• There is no need to hide your sins even when they seem very terrible and shameful to you.

During this ritual, it is imperative to confess to all wrongdoings, otherwise you will commit another sin - you will try to hide your actions and thoughts from God, and deceive Him. Since going through confession and communion is a very responsible matter, you need to carefully and meaningfully prepare for it.

Carefully monitor what is happening in your soul

- What to do with our constant “dualness”? In church I am a church person, but in secular, everyday life, everyday life becomes boring, vanity... It often turns out that we coexist as two different people - mild “spiritual schizophrenia.” What a constant state of repentance there is!

- Easily. Some trouble happened, an unkind word came out of your mouth, some thoughts - so you immediately repent. This is precisely what a mindful life is for. You need to carefully monitor what is happening in your soul. Then there will be no duality.

How did we live during the Soviet years? We had an even greater contrast between the Church and ordinary life. But even under these conditions, we tried to define our lives by faith.

We must build our lives according to faith, according to the Gospel, according to the commandments - regardless of the conditions in which it takes place.

Moreover, now there is no more vanity than there was then. All the same. And, in my opinion, this has always been the case in any society. You might think that in ancient times there was no fuss, everyday life and non-church life! Of course there was. And that’s exactly how she distracted people. But we must seek, first of all, the Kingdom of God, and the rest will be added to us. This should be the main thing for a Christian.

Life in faith. Growing in Humility through Obedience

Today the Valaam Monastery and its Abbot are attracting interest from the press.
Every week the monastery receives requests for organizing interviews and conversations, filming new films or stories. - But in the same Middle Ages, life was structured differently, and the rhythm of life was subordinated to the Church, at least at the level of fasting and prayer: at a certain moment everyone went to service, on a certain day everyone’s diet changed... Moreover, people were not so public - Internet users are constantly visible.
Personally, for example, when I write on a blog or a social network, a problem arises - I try to be sincere, but there is still a feeling of being picturesque: this is how I appear to people, this is how I want to look. It seems to me that modern man is tempted by hypocrisy - not outright lies, but something subtle... - I don’t think that the main thing has changed much since past times. Of course, we undergo enormous information loads - we are much more involved in the life of the world than our ancestors, we can spend less time in silence and solitude than they can. But the fundamental principles of human life in the world have remained unchanged. We simply must follow what the Lord has told us: discover the Gospel and act in accordance with His commandments.

Preparation

Proper preparation for it plays a big role in how successfully the rite of absolution will take place. It is necessary to tune in to communication with the Almighty, to a sincere and frank conversation with the clergy. Prepare internally and externally, think through every single moment.

1. Before going to confession, be alone at home in a calm environment. Concentrate and try to grasp the idea that soon you will have to communicate with God in the church, in his Temple. You should not be distracted by anything around you, because you are preparing to commit a very important act in your life. The prayers of John Chrysostom will help you get in the right frame of mind and prepare.
2. Remember all your sins and transgressions, start with mortal ones, then remember whether you sinned with anger, pride or love of money, restore in your memory the pictures of sins. Ministers recommend that you prepare yourself for repentance long and carefully; you need to pray a lot, remember your sins in solitude, and it is advisable to fast.
3. In order not to forget anything and not to miss any sin, you can write everything down on a piece of paper. It is especially important to use such a cheat sheet during your very first frank conversation with a priest.
4. When going to confession, you need to pay special attention to your appearance. Women must wear a skirt below the knees and a jacket with covered shoulders and arms, and must cover their heads with a scarf.
5. It is better to avoid wearing cosmetics on this day; painting your lips is generally prohibited, because you will need to venerate the cross. Men should also not be naked, even if it’s hot outside, you shouldn’t go to church in shorts and a T-shirt.

How to prepare for the Sacrament of Penance

Preparing for confession comes down to a thorough analysis of all your actions, words and thoughts. However, they must be considered not from the point of view of man, but from the point of view of God's commandments.

Such self-analysis requires a person to be extremely honest with himself. In truthfully assessing his deeds, a Christian must cast aside pride and false shame, since these shortcomings cause us to remain silent about our sins and even justify them.

Preparing for repentance requires the right attitude . You need to not just mechanically remember everyday sins, but strive with all your soul to ensure that they are left behind. It is also advisable to first make peace with those against whom we have sinned and ask for their forgiveness.

In order not to forget about your sins, you can write them down on a piece of paper. There is no need to create a detailed bureaucratic report - just a rough “cheat sheet” will be enough. It will help you quickly refresh your memory before confession and not forget anything.

If you are afraid of missing something important, use special lists of sins for confession. In Orthodoxy, they play the role of a kind of “check list” and allow us to notice what we, for some reason, did not pay attention to. This is the Pochaev Leaf, which helps to remember sins during confession, lists for women, men, children and teenagers.

However, during confession itself you should not use any lists or texts. It is better to speak in your own words and from the heart , but reading from a piece of paper can turn the sacrament into an empty formality.

Another way to remember forgotten sins is to look at them by type:

• Sins against God: unbelief, lack of faith, pride, breaking the commandments, mentioning the Lord in vain, turning to psychics, not attending church, and the like.
• Sins against one's neighbor: theft, slander, gossip, insults and betrayal.
• Sins against oneself: gluttony, drunkenness, prodigal sin, smoking, despondency and other acts that destroy the body and soul.

Often Christians remember only what happened after the last confession. But to this we must definitely add those actions that we kept silent about last time because of shame or forgetfulness. Also, during confession, you can talk about those sins that last time we confessed without proper repentance.

Some ask: is it permissible to confess the same sin repeatedly? In principle, this is allowed, since the memory of past sins strengthens a person in humility. However, this is not at all necessary if the repentance was truly sincere.

It is better to find out about the time of the Sacrament of Repentance in advance. If there are many people wishing to confess on this day, it is better to arrange a separate meeting with the priest.

On the evening before confession, it is customary to read the penitential canon.

How is it going?

People who want to go to confession for the first time are worried about how everything will happen. In Orthodox churches and temples, both general confessions are held, which everyone can attend, as well as individual conversations with parishioners.

At general confessions, the priest absolves the sins of all believers who come to the temple, while he lists those sins and transgressions that people commit most often. This is done in order to remind people of sins that they may have forgotten.

• Upon entering the church, you need to go to the lectern, the place where there is a queue of those wishing to confess. While you are waiting for your turn, you need to pray and remember your sins. When your turn comes, you need to approach the priest, who will ask your name, what you want to talk about and what you want to repent of.
• You need to tell everything as it is, without embarrassment and without hiding anything, you need to answer the questions asked by the priest honestly. It is important to remember that only you and the priest will know everything you tell.
• During confession, the clergyman covers the person's head with part of his clothing, which resembles an apron. This is an obligatory part of the ritual; at this moment the priest will read a prayer. After which he will give his instructions and, perhaps, assign penance, that is, punishment.
• A sincerely repentant person has his sins forgiven forever. After the end of the ceremony, you must cross yourself and kiss the cross and the Gospel. Then you need to ask the priest for his blessing. Confession in churches usually takes place on certain days, which you need to know about in advance.

It is important for every believer to know the following points:

1. the sacrament of confession is always performed free of charge;
2. whether a person confesses or not is his personal decision;
3. It is prohibited to force one to confess.

It is best if you have a permanent confessor who will monitor your spiritual growth and guide you on the true path.

If for some reason you are not yet a baptized person and want to be baptized as an adult, you need to first find out in church how confession should take place before baptism.

Prayer is work

Prayer teaches repentance. If a person has no experience of real spiritual life, no experience of prayer and personal standing before God, then he will not have real, deep and sincere repentance. Prayer, especially repentant prayer, seems to pave the way for the soul to God. One of the most important prayers, at least for monastics, is the Jesus Prayer—of the spirit of repentance. Standing before God itself practically cannot be other than repentance, at the level of spiritual development at which most of us find ourselves.

- On the other hand, prayer is a gift from above...

— Prayer is work. “The Kingdom of God is in need of force, and the needy women delight it”

(Matthew 11:12). This means that the Kingdom of Heaven will be received by those who made efforts to obtain it. This is why we must force ourselves, even if prayer is difficult at first. Of course, the Lord, in His mercy, gives grace and prayer to the one who prays, but for this the person himself must work on his soul.

This is the only way a person learns to repent.

If he lives an absent-minded life, without prayer, then maybe one day - if “thunder strikes” - he will be able to come to a feeling of repentance and prayer, but this will not be the gift you are talking about.

Standing in the photo (from left to right): hieromon. Theophan (abbot and confessor of the Gornenskaya monastery in Jerusalem), hieromon. Photius (abbot and head of the Priozersk Valaam metochion), hierodeacon. Vissarion (schema-abbot Varachiel, Konevsky Monastery), abbot Andronik (Trubachev, first Valaam abbot (1990-1993), teacher of MDAiS), abbot Kosma (TSL), hieromon. Gerontius (TSL), hieromon. Barsanuphius, a great sinner and even a bad one, is a hierodesiac. Parthenius (my fellow novitiate in Danilov, then an Optina resident, and now abbot of the Anastasov Monastery in the Tula diocese). Three children are sitting. Cosmas - I don’t remember their names.

Viceroy Fr. Andronik and Fr. Nazariy.

The gate church of the supreme apostles Peter and Paul and the passage to the monastery. 1990. On the right you can see the “red store”, a former icon and bookstore, and until recently a hotspot that supplied cheap drink, cigarettes and some products to local residents and not only (when dean had to catch monasteries there as well).

View of the Transfiguration Cathedral and schematic cells in the outer square from the north side. The white building in the square is the hospital Church of the Life-Giving Trinity, half bombed by Soviet aviation.

At Kelarna.

1995 Reader at the Skete of All Saints (now Hieromonk Gregory).

Hegumen Feofan (Krasnov), confessor of the Gornenskaya monastery in Jerusalem.

Hieroschemamonk Cleopas (Antonov) is buried in the cemetery at the Skete of All Saints, near the eastern wall of the altar. Photo circa 1994.

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Pioneers. “If only the monk would humble himself...”

Structure of confession

The well-known church figure of our time, Archimandrite John (Krestyankin), identified two options for constructing a confession:

• according to the ten commandments;
• according to the beatitudes.

In his book on confession, the hierarch gives an example of how one can make confession and repent of one’s sins. The Archimandrite analyzes each of the commandments and describes what duties Christians must have before God according to these commandments. John points out to readers the mistakes in everyday life that lead to forgetting the faith.

He analyzes the Beatitudes and points out what people neglect. Considering the second beatitude (“blessed are those who mourn”), he asks the reader whether he has mourned the desecration of God’s image in himself, his unchristian life, and his outbursts of pride and anger. He shows readers how far they stand from the stages of moral perfection.

This book is recognized as a good guide to explaining what should be considered sin in human life. But it cannot be an instruction on what to say. The repentant must choose the words that will come from his heart and sincerely desire to repent.

The benefits of frequent Confession

Elder Archimandrite Cleopas (Ilie, 1912–1998) is widely known as the great confessor of Romanian monasticism and the mentor of many lay people who came to him in thousands for spiritual help. We offer the reader fragments of the Russian publication of his book “The Value of the Soul,” published by the Sretensky Monastery Publishing House.

The Most Good God established the sacrament of Confession in the world, for if it had not been there after baptism, no one could have been saved. Whoever manages to bring a clean confession will be able to perform a second baptism, as you heard the priest say in prayer: “You must henceforth take care of all of these, before you are baptized with the second baptism, according to the Christian sacrament...”1

The Sacrament of Confession, or Repentance, is one of the seven sacraments of the Church and includes four parts:

The first is heartache about sins. Let the confessor regret and cry for the sin with which he has grieved God.

The second is confessing sins out loud to your confessor.

The third is performing penance and making a firm decision before the priest that he will fulfill it.

The fourth part is the key of Confession, that is, the remission of sins through the laying on of the hands of the priest on the head of the believer. This is called the epiclesis of clergy2, that is, the descent of the Holy Spirit on the head of the one who confessed purely. For the sacrament of holy Confession cannot end otherwise than when the priest lays his hand on the head of the person confessing, just as a bishop lays his hand on the head of a deacon or priest when he ordains him, and the Holy Spirit descends according to apostolic succession. So, here too the Holy Spirit descends through the hand of the priest to resolve the confessed soul.

Confession, being the washing or spiritual baptism of the soul after the first baptism, is a sacrament in which a person’s sins are forgiven through permission received from the confessor, and it is good that it be performed as often as possible.

Because there is no such moment or minute when we would not sin before God

The Divine Father John Chrysostom says this in his book, which is called “The Storehouse,” that is, “The Well”3: “If it is possible, O Christian, then confess to your confessor every hour.”

Why? Because there is no such moment or minute when we would not sin before God. And since we sin before God every moment, it is extremely necessary to bring frequent confession, to wash the soul through pure confession with repentance and penance, because the garment of our soul, cleansed in baptism, is defiled by all kinds of sins hour by hour and from minute to minute.

In the early centuries of patristic Christianity, Christians confessed to their confessor every day. But in those days they received communion every day, as is clear from the Acts: “and every day they all continued with one accord in the temple,” when the Church was founded, and “continued continually in the teaching of the Apostles,” in communion and the breaking of bread and in prayers... “And all who believed were together and had all things in common” (Acts 2:44, 42, 46). This is how the first apostolic community appeared.

They gave everything to the Church and gave themselves over to Christ. In those days, at the end of the service, the table was set right there in the temple; these meals were called agapes. Later they were transferred to the porch of the temple, and then to the homes of Christians, and they were blessed by the holy apostles.

Confession was performed at the beginning of each day. Subsequently, when people began to partake of the Holy Mysteries less often, they also began to confess less often. And now you see, not everyone confesses during fasting. Thus, faith and reverence have cooled, especially in relation to confession and communion of the Holy Mysteries, but they bring the greatest benefit and give strength for the spiritual growth of our souls thanks to the grace of the Holy Spirit descending on us in these holy sacraments.

However, let's talk here not only about confession, but also about the benefits of frequent confession.

The benefits of frequent confession are fivefold:

The first benefit of frequent confession is that sin does not have time to take root in us, and the nest of Satan built in the soul is destroyed.

The devil, seeing that you often confess, repent, pray and endlessly snitch on him, says this: “I’m trying in vain here, he always goes to the priest, confesses, and he allows it, but I’m left with my nose. I’d better go to those who don’t give a damn, who don’t even care about salvation, who haven’t confessed for years, these won’t resist me!”

He who confesses often knows what he has sinned, for he remembers it. If he has not confessed for a couple of days, he will say: “Come on, what have I done?” - and immediately remembers everything, and if he waits a month, two or even a year, then where can he remember everything?

For if you were to test yourself once, sit down somewhere at home in a corner and follow your thoughts for only a couple of hours, you would see that your mind does all sorts of things. And how many sins does he rush towards if you don’t restrain him with prayer and the fear of God? How about a day or two? And when we are in society, talking with people, seeing and hearing everything, then how is our soul and conscience burdened every hour?

So, this is the first benefit of frequent confession. And remember that thanks to frequent confession, sins cannot take deep roots in the heart of the one who confesses.

The second benefit of frequent confession is that it is easy for a person to remember the sins committed after the last confession, while for someone who rarely confesses, it is impossible to remember everything that he has committed. Thus, many sins remain unconfessed and therefore unforgiven. Therefore, the devil brings them to his memory at the hour of death, but then there is no benefit from this, for his tongue is taken away from him, and he cannot confess them.

Woe to the one who goes to confession and reveals some part of his sins, but does not reveal others; or if he names them, it is not sincerely, not in the way he committed them. He is looking for words, how to cover them up - this way and that. He thinks that he needs to name several sins to the confessor, and if he allows them, then that’s it, he is already completely forgiven. But does he really think that it is possible to deceive God, as if God does not know exactly how sin occurred and how it was committed?

The confessor allows only what he hears; the remaining sins remain bound, because the penitent was not sincere and never decided to be relieved. Therefore, the second condition for confession to be good is that it must be sincere and pure. Everything that a person remembers must be said, because he speaks not to the priest, but to God. The priest is the same earthy person as we are. He only received the power to bind and solve sins through the work of the Holy Spirit.

The third benefit that one who confesses often receives is that even if he were to fall into mortal sin, he immediately runs and confesses, enters into the grace of God and does not suffer from the fact that his conscience is oppressed by the burden of sin, since he was accustomed to purify himself by confession.

The fourth benefit that a person who frequently confesses receives is that death finds him cleansed and abiding in the grace of God, nourishing great hope of salvation.

According to the testimony of Saint Basil the Great, the devil always appears at the death of the righteous and sinners, hoping to see a person in sins in order to take his soul4. But among those who confess often and purely, he cannot find anything, because they confessed and received absolution for their sins.

The fifth benefit of frequent confession is that a person restrains himself from sins with the mere thought that in a few days he will confess again and receive penance from his confessor as reproach for what he has done. Whoever confesses often, as soon as he thinks about the shame that will overcome him in front of his confessor, about the penance that he will receive, he restrains himself from sin.

A person has such power against sin that if all the demons from the underworld appeared at once, then they would not be able to do anything with him if he is determined not to commit sin; for God gave him great power in baptism to overcome the temptations of demons.

And if he did not have this power, then there would be neither hell nor punishment for sin. Have you not heard what the Holy Spirit says in the Psalter? “Lord, as if you have crowned us with weapons of favor” (Ps. 5:13). And he also says: God “from the beginning created man and left him in the hand of his will” (Sir. 15:14).

If he wants to commit a sin, he commits it, and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. The devil only makes him think, but if he is stupid and seduced, he commits this sin in practice. Will you be able to say on Judgment Day:

- Lord, the devil brought me to the pub; the devil brought me to this woman; the devil led me to steal; the devil brought me to drink, to an abortion, to everything?

After all, the devil will then answer:

- Lord, let him bring witnesses who would see how I take him to the pub, for fornication or abortion! - And then he will say to the person: - Well, you see what a fool you are? I gave you the idea to commit a sin. And you, fool, went there yourself! I didn't pull your hand! And if you listened to me, you are mine!

So, by frequent confession the nest of Satan is destroyed

So, by frequent confession the nest of Satan is destroyed. Have you ever seen a stork? He makes a nest on the roof of the house. And this bird is very delicate. If you destroy her nest once or twice, she will no longer fly to you. She knows that you are her enemy. Likewise, if we destroy Satan’s nest, he will not come to us soon.

And such is the man who keeps his soul pure, for he cannot tolerate sins.

Therefore, the fifth benefit of frequent confession is twofold. First of all, the fact is that we destroy the nest of Satan in the soul, and the second is that death will not overtake us unconfessed.

He who is in the habit of confessing often does not allow the rust of sin to spread in his mind and heart; He who often examines his field notices when sin sprouts and immediately weeds it out of his soul through confession. Death will not find such an unprepared person.

Look, one of our monks, confessor Nathanael, has just died. He came to me on Friday, confessed according to the rite of confession of confessors, received communion of the Most Pure Mysteries, and a few days later he went to the Lord with a prayer on his lips.

Although this soul departed quickly, it was prepared. What will we say? “Okay, I’ll confess next year”? No! Let’s not delay, we don’t know when Christ will call us!

Do not think that small sins are not serious!

Father Nathanael did not know that he would die. But the Angel of God helped him, for he was in the habit of coming to confession every week. There was no time for evil to accumulate here, for at confession all his sins, even the smallest ones, were resolved.

Do not think that small sins are not serious! And they also need to be confessed, for do you hear what the Gospel says? “Nothing unclean will enter the Kingdom of Heaven” (Rev. 21:27).