All people come into this world completely different - some are stronger morally and physically, some are weaker, while everyone has their own philosophy of life and everyone is destined for their own path in life. Most people in the Universe sometimes have thoughts about deliberately shortening their age.
Whether this is right or wrong, we will not now understand, since everyone has their own bell tower and problems that often take place in life (in love relationships, in work, in study, in relationships with peers, and so on) can lead a person into a state of depression, a dead end state of affairs.
The meaning of prayer for the dead
Is there an Orthodox prayer for a suicidal person? Why is it impossible to commemorate suicides in church and how to help their souls? To find out the answers to these questions, you need to understand the meaning of Orthodox prayer for the dead.
Christianity teaches that man consists of a perishable physical body and an immaterial immortal soul. During life, when these entities form one whole, we have free will and the ability to repent. But after the death of the body, the soul is separated from it and passes into the spiritual world, into Eternity. She is no longer able to change and influence her fate. If a person did not strive for God and did not work for his salvation, then in the afterlife his soul suffers at the mercy of dark forces.
Prayer for a suicidal person
However, the souls of the dead are helped by the love and compassion of living people. Orthodox Christians offer church and home prayer to God for their departed loved ones, and also perform good deeds for the repose of their souls. The merciful Lord does not leave unanswered a fervent prayer for the deceased and makes his fate after death easier. Saint John Chrysostom teaches:
“Offerings for the dead are not in vain, prayers are not in vain, alms are not in vain: the Holy Spirit established all this, wanting us to benefit through each other” (“Conversations”).
What happens during suicide planning?
As a rule, during such attacks (there is no other way to call it), a person who is planning or thinking about suicide does not think about what will happen after he completes what he planned.
At this moment he does not care about how his family and friends will react; for him at the moment it does not matter. Fortunately, most of those who are suicidal do not end up doing anything of the sort. But there are also those who will see it through to the end.
At the same time, it is interesting to note that some of the suicides do it in a fit of emotion, without even having time to think about what this entails. The second half are those people who plan this event for a long time, calculate what should happen and how, and only after that decide to take a desperate step.
Suicide in a fit of despair may seem like the only true solution to problems, but is it so? In order to understand this, it is necessary to understand the question of what happens after death, where the suicidal person ends up.
Why is church prayer for a person who committed suicide impossible?
Church commemoration of the dead (funeral service, requiem service, commemoration at the liturgy, etc.) is performed in relation to baptized Orthodox Christians. Their souls are living members of the Holy Church. However, such prayer for a suicide in Orthodoxy is prohibited by church canons (14th canon of Timothy of Alexandria). This applies even to those suicides who were baptized.
Suicides deliberately cut themselves off from communion with the Lord.
“Life is a gift from God. But by ending it with suicide, such people are like throwing this gift into the face of God.”
- says the Monk Paisiy Svyatogorets. Archbishop John Shakhovskoy calls the unauthorized taking of one’s life “the murder of one’s love for God.” Suicide is a mortal sin that deprives a person of the opportunity to repent. This is the transfer of temporary, earthly torment into Eternity. Saint Theophan the Recluse teaches:
“The Church does not pray for suicides, for they die in unresolved mortal sin - not purified by repentance” (Collected Works).
A true member of the Church is a Christian not only during life, but also at the moment of death. The death of a suicide cannot be called Christian. Such a person “amputated” himself from the living body of the Holy Church. Bishop Jonah (Cherepanov) notes:
“During the funeral service, we pray: “With the saints, rest your servant.” But it is difficult to call a servant of God a person who has renounced the will of God, much less boldly to ask the Lord to rest him with the saints.”
The Church makes an exception only for those suicides who committed suicide in a state of passion or due to mental illness. Only the ruling bishop can give a blessing for the church commemoration of such a person. To do this, the relatives of the deceased must provide the diocesan administration with the relevant medical certificates and documents.
Absentee funeral ritual
Churches usually do not have funeral services for mentally ill suicides. Recognizing that most of the blame for committing a sinful act lies with illness, the Church insists on holding the funeral ceremony in absentia. The body is not carried to the temple, but relatives can come and pray with the minister for the soul of the suicide.
Funeral services are performed in absentia for those missing during natural disasters and military operations. There is nothing wrong with such a ritual.
How to pray for the soul of a suicide?
So, church commemoration of suicides becomes difficult, but their souls need our private, home prayer. Therefore, the Church blesses the cell (home) commemoration of suicides, calling for hope in the boundless mercy of the Lord. The Monk Leonid of Optina consoled his student, whose father had committed suicide:
“God loved and loves him incomparably more than you. This means that you can leave the eternal fate of your parent to the goodness and mercy of God. Pray to the All-Good Creator, thereby fulfilling the duty of love and filial duties.”
Let us also quote the words of St. Paisius the Holy Mountain:
“We must pray a lot for those who commit suicide, so that the Good God will do something for them. After all, we don’t know why they committed suicide, nor do we know what state they were in at the last moment of their lives. Perhaps at the hour when their soul left their body, they repented, asked God for forgiveness, and their repentance was accepted.”
How to pray for a suicidal person after death? The shortest version of a home funeral petition is the words: “Rest, O Lord, the soul of your deceased servant (name).” There is a special prayer for a suicidal person, which was compiled by the Monk Leo of Optina. They also often pray to the early Christian martyr Uar about suicides. He is traditionally revered as the intercessor of those who are not commemorated by the Church. Let us quote the words of the New Martyr Bishop Athanasius (Sakharov) about humble home prayer for those whose church commemoration is impossible:
“This prayer will be more valuable in the eyes of God and more gratifying for the departed than one performed in church, but with violation and neglect of Church statutes.”
In Orthodoxy there is a special “Rite of prayerful consolation of relatives who have died without permission.” It is intended to ease the grief of relatives and may be useful to those who ask whether it is possible to pray for those who committed suicide.
Bishop Jonah of Obukhov about funeral services for suicides and debunkings
The man is weak, which is why people often come to see Bishop Jonah of Obukhov wanting to be dethroned or whether it is possible to perform a funeral service for a suicide. Regarding the first problem that worries people, the Church takes an unequivocally tough position - not to debunk it. A concluded church marriage is not dissolved, but those who wish to do so have the opportunity to write a petition for a second marriage. If the purpose of dissolution of marriage is not to remarry, then in order to obtain permission to no longer be called husband and wife, the applicant must submit along with the petition a petition from his confessor.
They enter into a third marriage only after serving penance. At the same time, if the ceremony takes place within the walls of the temple, the newlyweds do not hold wedding wreaths, which are symbols of victory over passions (when they enter into a second marriage, they also do not hold wreaths).
The clergy do not perform funeral services for those killed if they decided to take this step in their right mind. This is done only if there is evidence of their insanity. Alcohol intoxication, drug use, debt or unrequited love cannot serve as an excuse for suicide.
Suicides are not given a funeral service in church and are not buried in a cemetery. They also don’t read prayers for them. This attitude of the Church is due to the fact that the person who committed suicide went against the will of God and broke all ties with him. Exceptions are made for crazy people whose illness is confirmed by appropriate documents. Killing oneself is equivalent to ordinary murder; you need to find out more about how the relatives of such a person should behave, why suicides are not buried in the church, you need to find out in the temple.
What else should relatives of a suicide do?
The soul of a suicide can be helped not only by prayer, but also by doing good deeds for his repose. For example, by distributing alms or food. Priest Roman Prisypkin advises:
“When giving alms, ask those you help to also remember the name of the suicided person in private prayer.”
The relatives of the suicide victim should remember that their personal pious life is also important: the desire to fulfill God’s Commandments, regular attendance at divine services and participation in the Church Sacraments. The Lord will ease the fate of the soul of the deceased if he sees the diligent spiritual efforts of his loved ones.
The most significant church rituals are called sacraments, in which the Lord Himself invisibly participates. The main Church Sacraments for baptized Orthodox Christians are Confession and Eucharist (Communion). Confession is a sincere repentance before God of one’s sins, performed in the presence of a witness-priest. Genuine repentance implies an active change in one’s life and firm opposition to sin. In the Sacrament of Confession, the Lord forgives a person and gives him spiritual strength to fight passions. The Holy Venerable Paisius the Svyatogorets instructs:
“In the Sacrament of Confession, the Grace of God acts and a person is freed from sin... A heavenly door opens to a repentant sinner, the Grace of God generously overshadows him... Having removed themselves from the Sacrament of Confession, people suffocate in thoughts and passions” (“Words”, volume 3).
The Sacrament of Communion consists of a saving communion with Christ through the partaking of His Blood and Body under the guise of bread and wine:
“He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him” (John 6:56).
This is not a symbolic, but a real union with the Lord, sanctifying and transforming a person. Through Communion, the Almighty restores fallen human nature, heals it from the deadly ulcer of sin. Metropolitan Hilarion (Alfeev) notes:
“As Christ permeates bread and wine with Himself, filling them with His Divinity, so He enters into man, filling his flesh and soul with His life-giving presence and Divine energy.”
Private prayer for a suicide victim
Prayer of St. Leo of Optina for cell reading
Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of Thy servant (name): if it is possible, have mercy. Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin, but Thy holy will be done.
Troparion to the Martyr Uar of Egypt, tone 4
Through the army of the saints, the passion-bearer of the lawfully suffering, / in vain, you showed your courageous strength. / And you rushed to the passion of your will, / and died lustfully for Christ, / Who accepted honor for you Years of your suffering, Ware, // pray for our souls to be saved.
Translation: Seeing the army of holy passion-bearers suffering under the law, you courageously showed your strength and voluntarily rushed to suffer, and wished to die for Christ, having accepted the reward of the victory of your martyrdom, Uar, pray for the salvation of our souls.
Kontakion to the Martyr Uar of Egypt, tone 4
Following Christ, martyr Ware,/ having drunk the cup,/ and wearing a crown of torment,/ and rejoicing with the Angels // pray unceasingly for our souls.
Translation: Having followed Christ, martyr Uar, having drunk His cup, you were crowned with the crown of martyrdom and rejoice with the Angels, pray unceasingly for our souls.
Prayer to the martyr Uar of Egypt
Oh, holy martyr Ouare! We kindle with zeal for the Lord Christ, you confessed the Heavenly King before the tormentor, and you suffered zealously for Him, and now the Church honors you as glorified by the Lord Christ with the glory of Heaven. Accept our petition and with your prayers free us from eternal torment. Amen.
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