Today, many married couples are faced with such a problem as alcoholism of one of the spouses. Male alcoholism is more common than female alcoholism, but before taking any measures it is necessary to find out the cause of the developing addiction.
- Read in the article:
- My husband started drinking
- My husband drinks every day: reasons
- If a man drinks heavily, is he an alcoholic or not?
- How can you tell if your husband is an alcoholic?
- Husband drinks beer
- Husband drinks vodka
- If your husband drinks, what to do: advice from a psychologist
- What should a wife of a drinking husband do: how to behave?
- Drinking husband raises his hand
- How to leave a drinking husband: problems of codependency
- What can I do to stop my husband from drinking?
- Conspiracies, prayers
- Will pills help if my husband drinks heavily?
- How to persuade someone to undergo treatment at a clinic or rehabilitation center
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According to statistics, every 3rd woman in Russia suffers from her husband’s alcohol addiction. At the same time, most wives behave in the same way with their tipsy husband - they begin to “nag” him, make trouble and threaten him with divorce. The result is that the man drinks more and more often to isolate himself from the stressful situation in the family. What to do if your husband drinks often? Where is the fine line separating a drinker from an alcoholic? This will be discussed below.
My husband drinks every day: reasons
- Alcohol is the easiest way to get away from all problems. Often people experiencing difficulties at home or at work try to distract themselves and relax with the help of alcoholic drinks. Finding himself in a difficult situation, the husband drinks, the stress recedes, and for some time the spouse manages to abstract himself from the problems that have piled up.
- Alcoholism can be passed on genetically. If someone in your husband’s family suffered from alcohol addiction, then the cause of his alcohol abuse is heredity.
- The reason may be the person’s soft character. In the company of friends or colleagues, it is difficult for him to give up alcohol and, over time, addiction develops. Doctors have proven that alcohol affects brain cells and the processes responsible for metabolism. Gradually, the body requires more and more alcohol.
- Often, alcoholism begins to develop due to a large amount of free time and also gradually develops into addiction.
Initial stage of addiction
If you can’t even imagine how to stop drinking alcohol, if you don’t spend a single holiday or meeting with friends without a glass of beer or a glass of something stronger, we are already talking about the first stage of alcoholism. The situation will only get worse in the future, so it is necessary to act at the first signs of addiction. Call our drug treatment center, our doctors know how to cure alcoholism. All alcoholics started with a few glasses, but addiction tends to progress, tolerance arises, and it moves to a new, more dangerous stage.
If a man drinks heavily, is he an alcoholic or not?
Binge drinking is characterized by drinking alcohol for many days, while the person is unable to stop drinking on his own. In this case, he can be called an alcoholic. Constant binges affect health, life and career; often nothing can keep an addicted man from drinking.
If a spouse drank alcohol in company for several days (for example, at the dacha with friends on the weekend), is this binge drinking? If such outings do not affect future life in any way, a person does not need to drink constantly, the answer is clear - no.
Stop hiding or pouring out alcohol
First of all, it is useless. A person suffering from addiction will still find somewhere to drink. If he himself cannot control his own actions, then another is unlikely to succeed.
But the ban on alcohol often gives rise to excitement and the desire to get booze by any means out of a sense of contradiction. Secondly, such behavior can provoke aggression.
Another option is also unacceptable - to patronize the alcoholic in every possible way. Often wives bring their husbands a “hangover” in the morning or buy alcohol themselves so that it is at hand at any time.
How can you tell if your husband is an alcoholic?
It’s not difficult to understand that your husband has started to drink too much:
- The doses of alcoholic beverages gradually increase, while the alcoholic is able to drink everything, mixing incompatible alcohol.
- A reason to “use” is found more and more often, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s sad or joyful.
- The spouse drinks for several days, the amount is constantly increasing.
- He reacts irritably to all conversations about alcohol.
The symptoms of alcoholism will be different for each person.
Husband drinks beer
A bottle of beer, or even two, every evening and the phrase “I’m resting after a hard day” - sound familiar? Many people do not consider this drink to be alcohol, but beer is very insidious. With a large amount of foam, you can easily get drunk to the point of unconsciousness, and the dependence on it is no less strong than on vodka.
Husband drinks vodka
Strong alcoholic drinks quickly destroy the liver, in addition, vodka has a bad effect on the psyche. Such alcohol should be consumed with a good snack and in moderation, but men who drink often do not care about food and the amount of alcohol.
Replace naivety with realism
Psychiatrists who treat chronic alcoholics say that the main criterion for addiction is the drinker’s categorical refusal to acknowledge the real problem. You need to realize: alcoholism is not a habit. This is a strong psychophysical dependence, similar to drug addiction and other types of addictions.
Understand: alcoholism is a disease, just like diabetes or cancer. If left untreated, the person will die. For example, from cardiovascular pathologies caused by large doses of alcohol, or cirrhosis of the liver. In addition, the risk of suicide or fatal accident increases many times over.
Alcoholism is accompanied by withdrawal symptoms and the formation of the body's tolerance to alcoholic beverages. Therefore, it is impossible to stop drinking on your own. Mandatory assistance from narcologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists is required, as well as a long period of rehabilitation.
If your husband drinks, what to do: advice from a psychologist
Having figured out the cause of her husband’s developing alcoholism, it is necessary to take some measures as quickly as possible.
- To begin with, the best thing to do would be to try to talk with your spouse and help him understand the seriousness of the situation, since only a few admit their addiction to alcohol. Treatment of alcoholism is an extremely difficult and lengthy process. The active participation of the patient himself and his desire to return to a sober life are necessary.
- Eliminate alcohol not only from your husband’s life, but also from yours. You should not resort to alcohol during the holidays if you see that your spouse cannot stop after the first glass. Don't provoke him.
- It is very rarely possible to cope with alcohol addiction without resorting to the help of specialists. If the husband drinks, then it is necessary to go to a special institution, where he will be helped to overcome alcoholism with the help of psychological and medicinal influence, and coding. The main assistance should be provided by a narcologist-psychiatrist and psychotherapist. There are numerous treatment methods for this addiction, which should only be carried out by an experienced doctor.
- The support of my wife and loved ones is extremely necessary. Your spouse must understand that you want to help him and are making every possible effort to rid him of alcoholism.
- Try to change your lifestyle so that he becomes interested in spending time with his family again.
Content:
- Why does a person not want to stop drinking?
- What to avoid: 2.1. What are the risks of forced treatment?
- Motivational intervention: 3.1. Emergency intervention. 3.2. Systemic intervention.
Alcohol addicts are only in extremely rare cases able to critically evaluate what is happening and independently contact a specialized specialist. Much more often, they do not believe at all that they have problems with their health, psyche and self-control. They do not want to be treated or live soberly. According to the norms of modern legislation, compulsory therapy is possible only by decision either of a court, if the alcoholic has committed a serious offense, or of a medical commission that has declared the patient incompetent due to a severe mental disorder. And often relatives simply do not know how to help a person cope with drunkenness. The addict is left without medical care, which leads to early disability and death.
What should a wife of a drinking husband do: how to behave?
If the husband drinks, the wife needs to behave firmly:
- You shouldn’t solve all of your problems for an alcoholic. Missed work? Let him talk to his superiors on his own. Sleeping on the floor with his clothes on? Don't undress him and drag him to bed.
- Empty threats and scandals will only fuel the desire to drink. Don't talk about leaving if you yourself are not ready for it.
- Showdowns with a drunk person are unacceptable.
- Calmly discuss the problem. But not in the “you’re an alcoholic” way. It’s better this way: “You’ve started drinking a lot, it worries me.”
- Has your spouse started drinking and doesn’t show up at home? There is no need to run around among friends and family in search of self-respect first of all.
Since in 90 percent of cases both people are to blame for family problems, it’s worth thinking a little about your behavior. Aren't you too scandalous and picky? Do you often pay attention to your spouse, give affection, tenderness (it’s not just about sex). Try to create a comfortable environment at home and greet your husband with a smile, neat and combed. Don't focus on everyday details.
Have you corrected your mistakes in behavior, but your husband still seeks joy in drinking? It’s worth trying to have a heart-to-heart talk with him - perhaps there are problems at work. All these tips are relevant only in cases where the spouse drinks, but does not become aggressive and inappropriate.
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Ways and methods to stop drinking
Effective ways you can use to combat alcohol. Don't put it off until tomorrow. Get started now. If you have alcohol in your body, you can contact us for a de-binge service. A narcologist will come to you in any area of our region and administer an alcohol drip.
Then follow all the methods described below and you will be able to quit drinking once and for all!
- The first way to stop drinking: “Scare yourself”
Although they say that it is useless to read articles about the dangers of alcohol, it does not help, but no one reads them carefully. If you feel like you want to drink more and more often, do not be lazy and re-read our article. Better keep it for yourself. And also read about how harmful alcohol is. Spend 15 minutes every day reading short articles. So let's say, scare yourself and always remember the dangers of alcohol. Think about your liver, about your youth, about your beauty. And also about how difficult it is to fight alcoholism. Especially if you do it yourself.
- The second way to stop drinking: “Become an actor in your own movie”
Another very interesting way to think about quitting alcohol is to film yourself while intoxicated. Just set up a camera or ask someone. Often, not everyone will be able to watch their drunken adventures even until the middle of filming. And the feeling of shame is the distinguishing mark of a person from an animal. You will also understand how difficult it is for your loved ones.
- The third way to stop drinking: “Find an ecological replacement”
It is very important to find a way to relax, replace alcohol with something else. Sports, dancing, singing, find your talent. Convince yourself that it is important for you to stop drinking. We wanted to have a drink in the evening, but instead we went for a run in the fresh air. Or go to the gym.
The main thing is that this is an environmentally friendly solution; under no circumstances replace alcohol, for example, with tablets. Everyone has willpower, you just need to find it within yourself and replace alcohol not with another mind-clouding substance, but with something that will make you happy.
- The fourth way to stop drinking: “Clean up your friends list and update your social circle”
If there are people in your social circle who drink and are constantly pushing you to do so, get rid of communication with such friends. Understand that these are not friends, and remember the words from the song “a friend won’t tell you, drink up.” The alcoholic social circle is a black hole from which it is very difficult to get out of each bottle you drink. And with every bottle you drink, you take a step towards being alone.
Moreover, today there are a lot of opportunities to update your social circle: parks, gyms, hobby clubs...
- Fifth way to quit drinking: “Become your own personal accountant”
Keep a diary where you record your alcohol expenses. And write down how much you didn’t spend on this useless swill today.
Go to the store and buy yourself a gift with this money, for example, quality clothes, a new phone. Reward yourself for quitting drinking! Better yet, save up. See how much you will have in a month, and what you can buy with it instead of alcohol.
- The sixth way to stop beating: “Memory will not let you get drunk”
Over time, you will learn to control yourself, and a symbolic glass of champagne for the New Year will not entail drinking a liter of vodka. You will already know your limit: after how many sips you will want to drink more and more, or which glass is no longer worth drinking.
Be sure to remember how you summoned the “genie from the toilet” the morning after drinking, and how it seemed to you that your head was about to explode from pain and this would be an ideal option for you. By the way, if you have a hangover after heavy drinking, this is a very loud bell that already calls you an alcoholic. And for hangover treatment, contact us: help is provided at home or in a clinic.
- The seventh way to quit alcohol forever: “Alcohol’s friend is a cigarette”
If you decide to quit drinking, then you need to quit smoking. If this habit is on your list of bad habits. After all, a cigarette just beckons you to drink, and after another glass, the puff seems more “tasty.” But this is an illusion. And so much has already been said about the dangers of smoking that it’s not worth mentioning here.
- Eighth method: “Analyzing your actions”
Do not under any circumstances blame yourself for starting to love this green serpent. And don't be shy about saying you don't drink. Sometimes you just need to analyze everything that happened to you in life. When you drank, when you were hungover, when you had the urge to drink.
You can even divide a piece of paper into two halves and write, in one column, what good alcohol gave me, and in the other, what troubles it caused. I bet the good points column is unlikely to fill up. But in order to analyze the impact of alcohol on your life, there is enough data.
Close and dear ones make us full-fledged people!
- Ninth method: “Family is nearby”
It is very important to admit to yourself that you are an addict. It’s not necessary to shout at every corner and introduce yourself: “Hello, my name is Vasya and I’m an alcoholic.” No! Just admit it to yourself. Then you can, if you want, involve your loved ones, your wife, parents, children, those with whom you live or communicate often, in this, so that they know your intentions to quit drinking.
And your loved ones will definitely not tell you that you are a fool or abnormal. They are close for that reason, to help and, most importantly, to understand. The support of loved ones is fundamental in the beginning of the journey to get rid of the drinking habit. Don’t be afraid to tell, it’s more dangerous to isolate yourself and not quit.
- The tenth way to combat alcoholism: “Provocation is failure”
There is an unshakable rule: if a person has decided not to drink, there is no need to provoke himself. For example, don't go into a store that sells alcohol, or at least avoid the aisles with tempting bottles.
Try not to drink for the first time until you develop the habit of not attending events where there is alcohol. Skip a friend's birthday or a nephew's christening. You can miss this important event, but later you will make up for everything with your sober attention to them.
The path to recovery will require sacrifices, but they will be insignificant compared to the sacrifices that may occur if you continue to drink alcohol.
- Eleventh method: “Eat dinner yourself...”
A very important aspect in the fight against alcoholism is to be well-fed. Yes Yes. After all, most often you want to drink on an empty stomach, so try in the evening, when you come home from work, to quickly have a hearty dinner and thoughts about drinking will definitely fade into the background.
- Method: “ Stress is a reason to drink ”
Try to avoid stressful situations, this is of course difficult to do in our time, but possible. Now on the Internet you can find many methods for getting rid of depressive situations, for example, meditation. They don't suit everyone, but it's worth a try. Remember one truth for yourself: alcohol does not solve problems, alcohol adds new problems!
When a person gives up alcohol, it is as if he is losing something. Emptiness and discomfort appear. At these moments you need to find something to do for yourself, so to speak, to fill the void. For example, instead of an evening date with a bottle and a glass, go to the cinema for some evening show. Buy a ticket to a rock concert and scream your heart out there. By the way, the method of yelling is effective, you come home angry, you don’t have the strength to drink, because life is complete “shit”, lock yourself in the bathroom or room and yell, loudly, you can even lose your voice, but yell. And life will no longer seem so unfair. And it is quite possible that during the screaming, you will find the right solution to some problem.
If you wish, you can consult a psychologist or consult a narcologist. Often the help of a specialist is very important in these moments of abandonment. A good doctor can even find the cause of your addiction, pull out the very thing where it all started, and this is an important fact on the path to getting rid of drinking.
Nowadays there is a lot of literature on the topics “How to stop drinking”, “The path to sobriety” or “An easy way to stop drinking”. Read them. They may not have the expected effect, but they certainly won’t do any harm. And it’s better to occupy yourself in the evening by reading these advice books than to fill your problems with dubious liquid.
- Method: “ Look at yourself as in a mirror ”
Try to put yourself in the shoes of those people who suffer from your antics when you are drunk. Imagine, for example, your wife or husband in your place. Your significant other gets drunk and behaves inappropriately. If this is at a party, then at the very least you should be ashamed of your date. Or if at home, after drinking, he or she made a scandal? Interfering with sleep? Does this make you feel good?
Now imagine that your children see you in this state. Would you like, as a child, to see your mom or dad as a Neanderthal? It is unlikely that anyone will answer “yes”. Now imagine, you are sitting at your workplace, and your colleague at the next table reeks of fumes, or worse, “fresh air”. Or you came to the doctor, and he sat with a headache after yesterday's feast and had no idea how to cure you. Or a drunk teacher teaching your child a lesson?
Imagine how there are situations where you don’t like alcohol, the people who drink it, and the consequences of it.
How to leave a drinking husband: problems of codependency
The main rule that should be understood is that only the drinker himself can decide to quit drinking, period. Codependent wives often live with such husbands for years, while undermining their own health and the psyche of their children. Life revolves only around the alcoholic. Answer yourself honestly - are you ready to help your husband fight the disease? Do you want your children to see an unhealthy family environment?
If an exemplary spouse suddenly starts drinking, you can try to help him get out. If your husband has been drinking for years, and has been treated several times, but it is getting worse, leave. Another characteristic feature of codependent wives is their selfless efforts to get the alcoholic out of his problems. Paying off debts, covering up for your boss, sponsorship to help you get drunk - the list goes on and on. The sooner you stop this behavior, the sooner the person will realize his problem.
Damage to health
All alcoholics whose binge drinking leads to personality degradation, but also have symptoms of loss of moral character, constant depression, aggression, insomnia, hallucinations, and memory loss. Such people develop various diseases of the body. When a man drinks, then his brain, cardiovascular system, gastrointestinal tract, liver, kidneys, etc. work poorly. The cause of the disease is the toxic effects of alcohol.
Intoxication can be relieved by specialists whom you can contact by finding their contacts by going to a special website. There are various types to help the drinker remove the remaining ethyl alcohol from his body. After this, your physical performance will increase.
What can I do to stop my husband from drinking?
As mentioned above, only the addict himself can want to quit drinking. No ultimatums, magic pills or potions will help. To treat alcoholism, you need to contact only a narcologist. Talk calmly with your spouse, let him know that if he wants to be treated, you will be there. Look for drug treatment clinics only after the request of your other half.
There should be no alcohol in the house. Avoid all gatherings and parties where drinking is expected. Invite your spouse to find a new hobby or remember an old one (except for hunting or fishing with beer).
Conspiracies, prayers
For believers, prayer can help normalize their emotional state. But it will not help eliminate physical and psychological dependence. The exception is special religious rehabilitation centers, where residents spend time in constant prayer and work. As for conspiracies, it’s simply ridiculous to believe in them - if they helped, the problem of alcoholism would not exist.
Will pills help if my husband drinks heavily?
Various tablets in pharmacies will help remove the symptoms of a hangover, as well as clear your head a little. They are not suitable for treating addiction. Narcologists may prescribe certain medications as an addition to the main course of therapy.
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How to persuade someone to undergo treatment at a clinic or rehabilitation center
How to deal with your husband's drunkenness? You should entrust this matter to professionals. But how to persuade a person to undergo treatment? First, you need to choose a moment when he is sober, but not in a state of hangover.
Secondly, you need to talk calmly, without hysterics, reproaches and ultimatums. Explain to your spouse that you are concerned about his health and family situation. Try simply suggesting that you consult a narcologist - an experienced doctor can convince you of the need for treatment.
If your husband drinks frequently, goes on binges, or the frequency of libations is increasing, do not waste time looking for dubious pills and conspiracies - contact specialists.
What to avoid
If a person does not want to stop drinking, loved ones try to force him to undergo treatment at any cost. As a rule, the tactics of their behavior in such a situation are quite predictable. Usually this:
- Threat of publicity. If an addict categorically refuses qualified help, he is threatened that his friends, colleagues, and superiors will find out about his alcoholism, which will leave him without a job and in social isolation.
- Blackmail with your own health. They use imaginary heart attacks, demonstrative swallowing of drugs, fainting, etc. But in most cases, this behavior has nothing to do with real diseases.
- A promise to end the relationship. It all can start with attempts to create everyday inconveniences for the alcohol addict: they stop cooking for him, washing things, cleaning, giving him money, etc. Very typical vows to file for divorce and kick them out of the house.
But the main problem with such manipulations and blackmail is that no one is going to carry out their threats. Family members still continue to tolerate the antics of the alcoholic, bring him to his senses after another drinking session, and try to hide this, from their point of view, “shame” from strangers. The tense situation in the family is growing, conflicts are becoming more frequent, which have a detrimental effect on children.
In addition, we must not forget about the problem of codependency, which often develops in people living under the same roof with a drinking person. Those suffering from such a disorder completely forget about their own self-development, physical and mental health. They blame themselves for everything that happens and try to create the appearance of well-being. But by doing so, codependents only unwittingly support the progression of alcoholism.
What are the risks of forced treatment?
But sometimes, under pressure from relatives, an alcoholic still makes an appointment with a narcologist, but not of his own free will, but to be left alone. Yes, he will listen to the doctor, undergo the necessary procedures, and take prescribed medications. But in fact, the person still does not want to quit drinking, and after the anti-alcohol block expires, in most cases he returns to his previous lifestyle.
Important!
Even the most effective methods of combating alcohol addiction will not bring any results if the patient himself does not want to be healed.
Treatment prices:
| Sign up for a free and anonymous consultation with a narcologist | 0 ₽ |
| Initial consultation with a narcologist | for free |
| Consultation with a psychologist in person or Skype | 3 000 ₽ |
| Psychiatrist consultation | 5 000 ₽ |
| Psychodiagnostics / pathological diagnostics | 7 500 ₽ |
| Narcopsychotherapy | 50 000 ₽ |
| Consultation with a psychologist and selection of a treatment and rehabilitation program for an addict | for free |
| Intervention session | 12 000 ₽ |
| Social rehabilitation of alcohol addicts | for free |
| Outpatient rehabilitation in Moscow | 33 000 ₽ |
| Standard rehabilitation program | 40 000 ₽ |
| Intensive rehabilitation program | 80 000 ₽ |
| Premium rehabilitation program | 120 000 ₽ |
| Medical and social rehabilitation (21 days) | 150 000 ₽ |
| Rehabilitation Spain, Bulgaria | 200 000 ₽ |
| VIP rehabilitation program | 350 000 ₽ |
| Online addiction rehabilitation course | 28 000 ₽ |
| Rehabilitation of age-related alcohol addicts | 50 000 ₽ |
| Rehabilitation of drug addicts | 60 000 ₽ |
| Adolescent social-psychological-pedagogical rehabilitation | 70 000 ₽ |
| Psychotherapy | 5 000 ₽ |
| Family psychotherapy | 6 000 ₽ |
| Support groups for loved ones of addicts | for free |
| Webinars for relatives of addicts | for free |
| School for codependents | 3 000 ₽ |
| Transfer support | negotiable |
| Motivation for treatment | 6 000 ₽ |
| Escort to the clinic | 6 000 ₽ |
| Testing (urine/blood/hair) | specify |
Expand
You need to fight alcohol addiction immediately. If a husband drinks, it is stressful for the whole family. The sooner treatment is started, the greater the chance of success. Modern methods of treating alcoholism can guarantee successful results. The most important thing is to help your husband realize his problem and take the necessary measures in time.
Literature:
- Moskalenko V.D. Codependency in alcoholism and drug addiction // A manual for doctors, psychologists and relatives of patients. - M.: Anacharsis, 2002. - 112 p.
- Bratus B.S. Psychological analysis of personality changes in alcoholism. - Moscow State University, 1992.
- Gogoleva A.V. Addictive behavior and its prevention. - M.: Moscow Psychological and Social Institute. - Voronezh: NPO "MODEK", 2002. - 240 p.
- Nemchin T.A., Tsytsarev S.V. Personality and alcoholism. - L.: Leningrad State University, 1989. - 192 p.
The text was checked by medical experts: Head of the socio-psychological service of the Alkoklinik MC, psychiatrist-narcologist L.A. Serova.
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Prayer to Matrona for alcoholism
Appealing to Matronushka has long helped Orthodox women bear the heavy cross of carousing. The holy intercessor and, directed to her hearing, a strong prayer against alcoholism can discourage a loved one from drinking. Matrona’s son is begged by every mother who feels despair. The names of brothers and fathers are mentioned every minute at the face of the holy old woman. The most revered shrines associated with it include:
- grave at the Danilovsky cemetery, on which a container with sand is installed. Believers call it miraculous. A chapel was built near the burial site (Moscow)
- the myrrh-streaming image of Saint Matrona in the Church of the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God (Balesin, Udmurtia)
- icon in the Intercession Convent (Abelmanovskaya Zastava, Moscow) The relics of the patron saint rest here.
For someone suffering from drunkenness, it will be useful to personally touch the holy relics of Matrona. This will only be beneficial if you have a strong inner intention to quit the bad habit. In case of a breakdown, you must not give up and become despondent. Reading the Holy Scriptures should be done consciously, because this is a dialogue with God. What's the use of meaningless conversation?
The phenomenon of "obsession of the mind"
Addiction occurs due to a disorder in thinking. Scientists in the field of addiction from the USA introduced the term “insanity”, which literally means “madness” or “obsession of the mind.” How does the phenomenon manifest itself? There are 4 basics: self-deception, mania, melancholy and self-deception. If a person has depression, unhealthy cravings and obsessive thoughts about alcohol, lack of awareness and inability to predict the result of his actions, he will perceive alcohol as the only source of joy in the subconscious.
