And the two shall become one flesh: a biblical view of marital relationships
Marriage is, of course, one of the most significant unions, and the family is a unit of both society and the Church. From the Book of Genesis it is known: in order for Adam’s life to be full, the Lord created for him a special person, a spouse, as “a helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18).
This very first union of a man and a woman in the history of mankind initially corresponded to God’s plan: the Lord wanted to make marriage special, and the territory of the family - the territory of His direct influence, a testing ground where a person would learn to love, forgive, share, understand, sympathize. That is why the Creator based the marriage union on the principles of mutual assistance and correspondence, even though husband and wife usually have differences in character, temperament, habits, and interests.
Unity, as defined by God, is the ideal to which spouses should strive in marriage. The Lord’s plan was this: “... a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife; and the two will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5; Eph. 5:31). The fact that these words were spoken in the Old Testament and then repeated again and again in the New Testament underscores how important and relevant they are. The command to leave father and mother does not mean that one must completely refuse to participate in the life of the older generation. No, it indicates the need to leave the idols of the past life.
Not every person can boast that he was formed in an ideal Christian family or in a family in general. Therefore, spouses bring into their marriage incorrect ideas about family life, about the roles of husband and wife; they also carry a load of grievances and memories. And if one of the spouses had another relationship or another marriage before marriage, then the stereotypes acquired there also prevent them from becoming “one flesh” in the new family.
However, God's promises give us reason to believe that the biblical ideal is still achievable, provided that both spouses are willing to work together on the relationship. The biblical examples of successful marriages show that there are different stages in a relationship, but the main thing we must take away from these examples is the importance of steadily moving together to make God's promises a reality in your union.
In First Corinthians 11:11, the Apostle Paul, wanting to emphasize the mutual dependence of spouses on God, writes: “Nevertheless, neither man is without the wife, nor is the wife without the husband, in the Lord.” And in the Gospel of Matthew the following instruction is given to spouses: “So let each of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife fear her husband” (Eph. 5:33). In other words, spouses first of all need to realize their mutual dependence on the Lord, the importance of a joint spiritual life open to each other, based on love and respect. At first glance, simple recommendations to love and respect most often cause many difficulties, since “to love as yourself” (that is, to be treated as equal) and “to fear” (that is, to recognize absolute authority) is the maximum bar that the Lord has set to people.
Another truth that proves that God's ideal of marriage is attainable is His promise to preserve and sanctify marriage. The Lord personally makes sure that no human or earthly forces destroy the integrity of the marriage union: “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Matt. 19:6). This is the Lord's view of family and marriage.
Elsewhere in Scripture it is mentioned, “Let marriage be honorable in all and the bed undefiled” (Heb. 13:4). Consequently, any attack from the outside on the marriage union, on the personal relationship between husband and wife, as well as violation of this principle by the spouses themselves, is considered a violation of God's law.
There are many types of human unions in the world, but only one is considered sacred, “a thread twisted in three” (Eccl. 4:12). “No outsiders are allowed to enter.” Only in marriage can we comprehend all types of love - agape, eros, philia. And it is unity in marriage that is the condition for successful raising of children, fruitful ministry, good relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ, and blessed communication with those near and far.
Marina Gusarova
LiveInternetLiveInternet
How can we find our soulmate? What prevents a person from experiencing that feeling, which in an intricate wedding ceremony is described as follows: “May the wife cleave to her husband and may they remain one”? This word “sticks” to me - “sticks”... So we’ll work with it. Let's develop a ball of metaphor, pull the thread, put on the loops - and you will have a pair of socks. Right now. Have you ever read what it says on a can of glue? I can’t vouch for the literalness of the quote, but it always says something like this: “Before applying glue to the surfaces to be glued, thoroughly wash these surfaces, degrease them with a special solution, sand all rough spots and let the surfaces dry.” After that, just apply glue... What am I getting at? Moreover, even the outsole will not stick to the shoe if you do not first clean it of debris, dust, and all sorts of foreign deposits brought from the street... And what can we say about people? So, we knitted one sock... Now imagine another metaphor... So you are looking for a soul mate, say, a pair of socks! In order to find a second sock, you need to know the most important thing! Guess which one? You need to know what the first sock looks like! And, if possible, hold it in your hands, comparing finds along the search path with the sample. It's hard, hard to find a pair of socks without knowing what the first one looks like! I'm even afraid that it's impossible. And what does this metaphor lead to? Moreover, when we are looking for a soul mate, we make two elementary, gross mistakes: we “get caught” without cleaning ourselves up from street dust and garbage (I mean garbage information) and, more importantly, we, while looking for a soul mate, we don’t know what the first one looks like, that is, we don’t know what we ourselves are! And what do we want to find after this? And what kind of strength of relationships do we dream about when there is a thick layer of dust and dirt on us, drawn by us from the place where the dust and dirt pours in? In order to find your other half, you need to understand to yourself: what do I REALLY want? What can I NEVER do without? And I can do without it calmly. What kind of life will definitely seem like prison, hell and hard labor to me? What can't I stand? What am I so drawn to that I’m ready to sacrifice almost everything for it? What prevents us from soberly understanding ourselves? The fashion for this or that philosophy of life prevents us from understanding who we really are. The current trend of the era is disturbing. “That’s the way it is now.” “That’s how it is with us.” These two phrases have prevented us in all centuries from understanding our true selves. You can establish mass production of anything - just not people. People always have their own quirks. Try to force them to be the same! Nothing will come of it! Here's my favorite example. The beautiful maiden twisted curls and left buckets on the river... The era of communism. A cultural revolution is raging in China. Everyone is in deep poverty, in strict uniformity, everyone is shouting patriotic anthems under the portrait of Mao. The state allows both sexes to wear only a blouse and pants of a certain color and a certain cut. Women's hairstyles are officially allowed only two: either a short haircut with bangs to the middle of the forehead or two free-hanging straight braids no lower than the shoulders, with bangs to the middle of the forehead. The rest is considered as “worship of bourgeois values” and is punishable by prison. So... You will never come up with such a variety of braids that young Chinese women managed to weave. They wove them in front and behind, from the ears, behind the ears, and on the ears, from the parting, from the forehead and to the back of the head. And what wars there were for every millimeter of uncut bangs! Naturally, the “highest chic” was to wear bangs a little longer than the established standard. The lady guards walked around with a ruler and cut the rebels' hair with garden shears. A contemporary of those events, she recalls that in her time it was “unfashionable” to braid hair from the ears (only “party Maoists” wore this). The real fashionistas who “bow before bourgeois values” braided their braids from the parting. And now I will draw a parallel with our time... When everything seems to be normal in society, people do not value freedom of expression and diversity, trying to conform to the standard imposed by it is difficult to say by whom... It’s definitely not Mao’s party. It is the opinions of others and advertising that prevent us from understanding who we really are, what kind of birds we are. They impose on us what to think and what to get involved with. But our soulmate can only be found when we see our authentic selves. Let's understand everything about our tastes, passions and life attitudes. “I’m like everyone else” is not the answer to the question. “How’s everyone else”? How’s that? And how to choose a partner for such a “riddle”? Who are you, baby: cat, mouse, turtle? Who do you need: a kitten, a mouse, a turtle? It seems that it was from Lenin’s polemical articles that the following expression began to circulate: “Before you unite, you need to properly disengage.” And rightly so, only by disengaging, separating itself from others, opposing itself to someone, can a political party clearly understand: who is its ally and who is its enemy. And based on the knowledge gained, look for a real ally. And such an alliance will be strong. The same principle applies to people in their daily lives. Something like this: a magnet abandoned and forgotten in the yard cannot attract a needle while a whole lump of dried dirt is stuck on it. “Rescue” a magnet from a lump of earth, shake it off the sand, and the lost needle will immediately stick to it. And they will be “as one”... Well, now paired socks are knitted for you. You can put it on. And on the topic of this article, I also recommend that everyone find and read the philosophical tale of the French writer Pierre Gripari “Mademoiselle Scarab”. It will be funny. And most importantly, you will finally understand how to look for your soulmate. Elena Nazarenko
Series of messages “1.
For Women “: Part 1 - A man helps a woman to be weak. She herself knows how to be strong Part 2 - ..learn to love.. ... Part 28 - The men we attract Part 29 - A recipe for young girls who consider themselves lonely (with guarantee!) Part 30 - “Let the wife cleave to her husband and let them remain one” Part 31 - Feel sorry for yourself? About my greed again Part 32 - “How to love yourself?” and “Where is MY place?” ... Part 48 - Angelina Mogilevskaya. Mistress of fate. Part 49 - 4 signs of a hopeless relationship Part 50 - Why do you get married if you don’t love your wives/husbands, and then your children?
Long separation between spouses weakens the family
Unfortunately, in my country Moldova, there is also a problem of long separation between spouses due to the fact that one of them leaves. This problem has led to serious consequences in many families. On March 8, 2010, I watched an online report from my home village of Lapushny. In the video, the men were crying because they had no one to give flowers to, as about 1,300 rural women (most of them married) had gone to work abroad. This is a terrible thing. But let's see what God says about this in the Bible.
About Christians who leave for ministry
Sometimes Christian ministers who are married are also separated from their families when they leave for ministry. If we are talking about a long trip, then it is better to go with the whole family. When the Apostle Paul rebuked the Corinthian Christians for judging him unjustly, he said:
“Or do we not have the power to have a sister wife as a companion, like the other apostles, and the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?” (1 Corinthians 9:5).
This rhetorical question suggests that the rest of the apostles, the brothers of the Lord and Cephas took their wives with them on missionary trips.
May God help all married couples to value their marriage as He values it, so that they can have a happy family life and reflect the heavenly marriage.
Translation: Moses Natalya
The separation between husband and wife should not be long
According to one of the marriage laws given to the people of Israel:
“If someone has recently taken a wife, then he should not go to war, and nothing should be placed on him; let him remain free in his house for one year, and let him please his wife whom he has taken” (Deuteronomy 24:5).
God wants to see strong families. Since in the first year of marriage the foundation of the relationship between husband and wife is laid, He exempted the husband from military service, that is, from war in case of a threat to the country. The man had to stay at home for a whole year to please his wife.
On the other hand, the only reason why a husband can be separated from his wife and children for a long time is war or other danger that threatens the safety of the rest of the family.
Although King Solomon assigned the people hard work during the construction of the Temple in Jerusalem, he did the following:
“King Solomon imposed taxes on all Israel; the duty consisted of thirty thousand people. And he sent them to Lebanon, ten thousand per month, alternately; They were in Lebanon for a month, and in their own house for two months ” (1 Kings 5:13-14).
The king was willing to pay the expenses of frequent trips so that the people who worked in Lebanon would not be separated from their families for too long.
Long separation leaves spouses vulnerable to Satan's temptations
When the Apostle Paul was asked what intimacy should be like in marriage, this is what he wrote in 1 Corinthians:
“And what you wrote to me about is that it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But, in order to avoid fornication, each have his own wife, and each have his own husband. The husband show his wife due favor; likewise is a wife to her husband. The wife has no power over her body, but the husband does; Likewise, the husband has no power over his body, but the wife does. Do not withdraw from one another , except by consent, for a time, to practice fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you because of your intemperance ” (1 Corinthians 7:1-5).
This is a very clear commandment that husband and wife should not shirk their marital duties, lest Satan may tempt them because they lack self-control. When one of the spouses leaves home for a long time, Satan tempts both. There have been many cases recently where a husband or wife committed adultery or found someone else and wanted a divorce. And sometimes, due to a long separation between husband and wife, serious and groundless suspicions arise, which completely destroy the relationship between the spouses and, in the end, also lead to divorce.
