The commandment “Do not judge”
Literally, the commandment about condemnation actually sounds like this: “Do not judge, lest you be judged.” It came from the New Testament, and Jesus Christ gave it.
More often than not, this commandment is understood in the sense that one must not think or speak badly about anyone (that is why in “colloquial speech” it was renamed: “do not judge”). Although its meaning is even deeper: it is important not to judge anyone at all - neither good nor bad. In other words, don’t evaluate anyone in any way - just live and be, and let others too - be and live.
But how is it possible: not to evaluate anyone?
We have selected several quotes and stories about condemnation - they belong to famous saints and ascetics. They are revealing and some of them are better than any article. Using their example, we will try to show condemnation from all sides and in all its manifestations:
- Why is judging bad?
- Where does condemnation come from?
- How to learn not to judge?
- How is it possible to not judge anyone either good or bad?
- And most importantly, how can one not condemn murderers or other villains?
Conviction is often unfair
We do not always know (and in fact, we never know) what is really going on around us and in the lives of other people - what is the basis of their misdeeds or what causes their weaknesses.
Saint Paisius the Svyatorets, one of the most revered Greek saints of the 20th century, gives the following story:
“Many years ago, in a monastery on Mount Athos there lived a pious deacon, who one fine day left the monastery and returned to the world. What the fathers didn’t say about him! What really happened? Someone wrote to him that his sisters were still not settled in life, and he, fearing that they might stray from the right path, went to help them. He found a job at one of the factories and lived even more ascetically than in the monastery. As soon as he settled the sisters, he left his job and went back to the monastery. The abbot, seeing that he knew everything: the charter, obedience, etc., asked where he learned this. Then he opened his heart and told him everything. The abbot informed the bishop, and he immediately ordained him as a priest. Then he left for a distant monastery, where he labored strictly, achieved holiness and helped many people spiritually. And those who don’t know how it ended may still be judging him! Great caution is needed; we can never know the true state of things.”
Venerable Paisiy Svyatogorets
The reason for our speculations is partly due to the fact that we judge actions according to our disposition. For example, it seems to us that in such and such a situation a person must hide or deceive something. But this is simply because we ourselves would probably do the same in such a situation.
“Everyone thinks to the extent of his depravity” is a very true Soviet proverb.
“Whoever is not disposed to evil is incapable of suspicion,” St. Gregory the Theologian said the same thing sixteen centuries earlier.
“He who has a pure heart considers all people to be pure, but he who has a heart defiled by passions does not consider anyone pure, but thinks that everyone is like him,” said the Venerable. Isaiah the Hermit
But what to do if a person’s action is objectively bad? Theft, violence, murder?
What to do
So far I am drawing the following conclusions for myself:
- don’t get hung up and learn to switch quickly, learn to separate boundaries and get away from the person COMPLETELY. Accept his right to do as he pleases.
- adjust the locus of control to the internal one - do not rely on other people in your life and do not overthink their lives and actions, do not exaggerate, do not get hung up on the influence and ALLEGED influence (which is probably much less than it seems) of other people's actions on you. Realize and admit, voice to yourself that I blame, condemn, scold another person and stop and think about what I can do about this situation to make ME feel better
- make your life more eventful, pump up YOUR resources, so that you have no time to concentrate on the little things. Helping other people, altruism helps to reduce the degree of egocentrism
- to be aware of our infantilism and egocentrism, our desire to “climb into arms”, which perhaps someone did not like and in response we received behavior that we condemn, OUR dependence on a person, our desire to receive something from him - that is including his approval, his inappropriate behavior
- learn gratitude and respect for people and their contributions to our lives, of their own free will
- if you judge someone and cannot stop, try to remove this communication or this person from your life, if it is not useful, and if possible, switch your attention to other interesting things.
- reduce the degree of tragedy.
In general, work exclusively on yourself.
In this article I lumped everything together) Esotericism, psychology, my own conclusions.
Maybe one thing will help someone reduce the number of judgments in their life, and something else will help someone else. Want more?
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Don't judge a person, but be intolerant of sin itself
The Georgian saint Gabriel Urgebadze, who lived in the 20th century, once said: “If you see a murderer, or a harlot, or a drunkard lying on the ground, do not condemn anyone, because God has released his motive, and holds your reason in his hands. If yours also lets go, you may find yourself in a much worse situation.”
But how can one not condemn a murderer?
“It’s another thing to notice, and another thing to condemn,” says Schema-Abbot John (Alekseev) in one letter.
When the saints ask to be intolerant of sin, and not of man, they remind: the main goal of man on earth is the acquisition of Grace. Everything in Christian teaching - the commandments, the Church foundations - were formed for the sake of one thing - so that a person, by his purity, would acquire the Grace of the Holy Spirit.
Condemnation is aggression in the heart. If there is aggression, there is no Grace. And if there is Grace, then for you a person who has committed even the worst, most terrible act in the world becomes not a villain, but an unfortunate one. I want to feel sorry for him, he ruined his soul...
The Monk Porfiry Kavsokalivit wrote: “They ask me, how can one not condemn criminals? Well, not everyone who commits crimes is murderers and villains. These people are deprived of a “protective barrier”; they do not fight with themselves, do not confess, do not receive communion, do not pray, do not try to improve. They have kind souls, but they live, as they say in common parlance, “like in an inn.” Evil catches them in its networks and pushes them to murder and other crimes. However, very soon they repent, suffer, and feel like they are in hell. I don’t want to justify crimes, but a criminal and a sinner never cease to remain people, wounded people.”
Asking us not to judge the sinner means that we should not allow our hearts to become bitter. Do not allow yourself to turn into, even a distant, but similar likeness of that person. After all, if we allow ourselves to be angry, it means that we ourselves have the germ of evil. And in what way are we better than the villains?
This does not mean that a murderer or rapist should be released from custody. The laws of the earth have already taken shape and through them a certain atonement for sin also occurs.
Perhaps one of the best symbols of how one can separate sin and the person himself can be the attitude of parents towards their children. The child committed a crime - played truant, stole, something else - but the mother never stops loving him for a minute?
Condemnation returns like a boomerang
“There is such a law in spiritual life: as soon as you condemn someone, you will certainly fall into the same sin. Before judging others, it is better to know yourself. What are we?”
schema-abbot Savva
The Monk Paisiy Svyatogorets told an impressive and very revealing story.
One day a woman came to the temple where he served for some time. It was said about her that she destroyed many families by seducing men. The monk shouted at her and ordered her to leave the temple.
“Then,” the elder recalls, “something terrible happened to me. For the first time in my life, I felt a carnal temptation of such strength that it resembled burning.”
At some point, the temptations became so strong that the elder plunged a small hatchet into his leg in order to somehow stop the flow of thoughts. Blood sprayed.
“And then,” says the saint, “I thought: now, I have experienced this hell only once in a short time. And this, Lord, unfortunate soul who always lives in hell, how she suffers!”
And immediately after this thought the saint felt that he was freed from passion.
see also: miracles of Paisius the Holy Mountain
How to learn not to judge?
Condemnation, like many other sins, flourishes in us from inattention to ourselves. Inattention has many external signs and causes. For example, empty talk.
“Usually after 20 minutes the conversation turns into either idle talk or condemnation,” Archimandrite Sophrony (Sakharov) once noted.
Different saints spoke differently about condemnation, but in their words one common idea is found or implied: the sin of condemnation - like any sin - does not exist in a person by itself, but is a consequence of the damaged nature of man.
see also: what is sin?
Confession and communion help fight sins. It is very good if you have a confessor - a priest with whom you confess most often, and who knows you and your situation better than others. He will find exactly the words you need.
This text cannot and should not become an instruction or guide in the fight against sins. But we would like to highlight a few ideas that may be interesting or even help in the fight against judgment.
You can start the fight with condemnation by:
- Learning to forgive (this may be the first step)
- Try not to judge people at all.
Returning energy by giving up gossip
When you let go of judgment, especially among your girlfriends, you give yourself a luxurious gift. Gossip takes away feminine energy. During such conversations, it seems as if liberation has occurred and I have spoken out. But later you feel emptiness, apathy, you don’t want to do things, the world seems dull...
Turn off this energy tap. There is no point in wasting feminine strength when you need it for yourself, creativity, home, and loved ones.
Remember the marathon “A world without complaints”? You had to wear the purple bracelet for a month. As soon as complaints and gossip begin, put it on the other hand. Organize a marathon like this for yourself. Involve your girlfriends so that you can control each other and not return to the old swamp. Or give yourself a fine for gossip and, in case of failure, pay it to your husband. These mindfulness marches will change your life.
Every time you want to blame, criticize, teach someone about life, stop. Ask yourself the question: “Why am I doing this? What benefit will my words bring to this person?” Look at your interlocutor from the position of an equal, remember that he sees the world differently. Learn to respect other people as much as you respect yourself. Then there will be no room for judgment in your life.
Fighting Judgment: Learning to Forgive
What kind of fight against condemnation can we talk about if we do not learn to forgive - not only loved ones, but also enemies? Not only those you are ready to forgive now, but also those you are not ready to forgive? To forgive means to love with the love of Christ.
But how can you love a villain? A murderer, a thief, a rapist?
Perhaps the English missionary writer Clive Lewis wrote about this best for modern readers (formally he belonged to the Anglican Church, but according to many, his worldview and understanding of things was absolutely Orthodox).
In his book “Mere Christianity,” in the chapter “Forgiveness,” he wrote that many are not ready to even imagine that they can forgive or love an enemy, because they confuse “forgiveness” with “agreement.” Forgiving does not mean saying that a person is good!
He wrote:
“Every person agrees that forgiveness is a wonderful thing until he himself is faced with the alternative of forgiving or not forgiving, when forgiveness must come from him. We remember how we found ourselves in such a situation during the war years. Usually the very mention of it causes a storm, and not because people consider this virtue too high and difficult. No, it’s just that forgiveness of this kind seems unacceptable to them, they hate the very thought of it...
Now, when I thought about it, I realized that I don’t have much tenderness and love for myself. I don't even always like my own company. So, the words “love your neighbor as yourself” obviously do not mean “feel tender towards him” or “find him attractive”...
Consequently, we can love [and forgive] our enemies, without considering them pleasant people. This is a great relief. Because so many people think that forgiving their enemies means admitting that they are not so bad after all, when in fact everyone knows that they really are bad.”
You can read this book in full, in particular, here.
Was Leopold the Cat a Christian?
As for Christian meekness and forgiveness, which stem from love for God and neighbor, this is worth special attention. Who said that loving your enemies presupposes pandering to them? Which lamp of faith declared that Leopold the Cat is “the rule of faith and the image of meekness”?
Screenshot: youtube.com
On the contrary, St. John Chrysostom, in his interpretation of the Beatitudes, says: “When we, seeing others offended, do not defend them, but remain silent, this is cowardice; when, having ourselves received insults, we endure, this is meekness.
What is boldness? Again the same thing, i.e. when we fight for others. What about insolence? When we try to avenge ourselves. <…> Meekness is a sign of great strength; to be meek, for this you need to have a noble, courageous and very high soul.”
