After death, a person is commemorated on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day, and the last date is considered the most important, since the soul enters the Judgment and its further destiny is decided. There are many traditions associated with this day that people observe to help the deceased person on this important day.
Where is the soul of the deceased until 40 days?
Many people note that at first they feel the presence of a deceased person, which is manifested by smell, sighs, steps, and so on. This is due to the fact that for forty days the spirit does not leave the place where it lived.
- For the first three days the soul is free and it remembers its entire earthly life. It is believed that during this time she is in places that are close. On the third day after death, a memorial service must be held.
- After this there will be a meeting with God, the saints and a visit to heaven. From this moment, the first torment and fears begin that due to mistakes made, the entrance to heaven may be closed. All this lasts for six days, so on the ninth day a memorial service and wake are held.
- At the next stage, ordeals begin, which represent trials and obstacles. On the 40th day after death, the soul will receive a decision where it can spend eternal life in Heaven or Hell. During this period, a comparison of positive and negative actions occurs.
- Finding out what happens on the 40th day, it is worth mentioning the onset of the most important stage - the Last Judgment, where the soul can no longer influence anything and only the life of the deceased is taken into account.
How to pray for the deceased for up to 40 days?
Remembering dead people is the duty of every believer. According to the church, you need to pray especially diligently during the first forty days after death. A prayer for 40 days to see off the soul can be said in church or at home. If a person chooses the second option, then it is recommended that women tie a scarf on their heads and light candles in front of the image of the Lord. When figuring out the rules of 40 days after death and how to remember, it is worth noting that prayer during this period helps to gain faith in the soul and more easily cope with the loss of a loved one.
“Son of God, Lord Jesus Christ. Satisfy my heartfelt grief for the deceased slave (name of the deceased). Help me cope with this difficult loss, and give me strength to withstand the grief. And on the fortieth tribulation day, accept the soul of the deceased (name of the deceased) into the Kingdom of Heaven. And it will be so now, forever, forever and ever. Amen".
How to properly remember the deceased on Sunday
The memory of the deceased should be honored with prayer. The spirit of a person who has passed on to another world needs it. It is the duty of his family to pray for him. Holding a funeral event can be called a tribute to tradition. The eternally living soul of the deceased will be helped by the prayers of relatives for repose.
It is advisable to remember the deceased on Sunday using church candles. Orthodoxy does not approve of bringing alcohol to funerals. Strong drinks have no place on the grave. It is not advisable to leave food in the cemetery. It is preferable to honor the deceased by distributing food to the poor. When passing on a treat, you should ask for prayer for the soul of the deceased.
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According to the clergy, drinking alcohol at the resting place is unacceptable. Not welcome during the funeral meal on Sunday. The memory of the newly deceased should be honored with kind words, memories of his good qualities and actions.
The deceased should be remembered with prayers on Sunday in church. Praying for them and submitting a note are welcome. After visiting the temple, you should visit the grave. It is necessary to avoid lamentations and sobs - this is painful for those present and for the soul of the deceased.
It is acceptable to leave sweets at the grave. The treat is considered as alms for the poor. The behavior of relatives when visiting a grave must be acceptable. It is necessary to maintain silence and show respect to the deceased. At the cemetery, prayer with a candle and mental conversation with the deceased are encouraged.
You should remember the need to remember the deceased not only at first (3, 9, 40 days), but on anniversaries of death and Sundays.
Is it possible to remember 40 days earlier?
Life is unpredictable and there is often no way to accomplish what you planned. The clergy say that if it is not possible to remember the deceased on the 40th day, it is not a tragedy or a sin, since this can be done in advance or even later. It is forbidden to reschedule commemoration at liturgy, memorial service and cemetery. Many people are still interested in how to count 40 days from the date of death, so the first day is the day of death itself, even if the death occurred late in the evening before midnight.
What is prepared for 40 days after death?
On this day, a memorial dinner is always held, the purpose of which is to remember the deceased and pray for his repose. It is important to remember that food is not the main thing, so there is no need to try to prepare a luxurious menu with a lot of delicacies. A funeral dinner for 40 days, the menu of which should take into account the rules of Christianity, implies adherence to several important principles:
- On the table there should be kutia, which is made from millet or rice, and pancakes without filling. Each of these dishes has its own important sacred meaning, which helps to appreciate the frailty of existence.
- For those who are interested in the topic - 40 days after death, how to remember, you need to know about the ancient tradition of baking pies with different fillings.
- If the forties did not fall during Lent, then meat dishes are not prohibited, so you can serve cutlets, cabbage rolls, goulash as a side dish, and so on.
- Various fish dishes are allowed, and these can be first and second courses.
- You can put salads on the table that include lean ingredients in the recipe.
- Understanding the traditions of 40 days after death and how to remember the deceased, it is worth mentioning that in many families it is customary to follow the tradition of preparing the deceased’s favorite dish for a funeral dinner.
- As for desserts, it is best to make cheesecakes, pies, cookies, and sweets are also allowed.
Procedure: funeral rules
On the fortieth day, the spirit of the deceased returns home for a day and after that leaves the earth forever. Legends say that if the spirit does not attend the funeral itself, it will suffer for all eternity, so it is definitely worth setting the table on this day and gathering to remember the deceased, but this must be done correctly.
You can present all this in the form of a list of recommendations:
- Pray: on this day, for all 40 days and in the future, remember the deceased;
- Bring a priest to the grave to perform a service or order a prayer service in the temple;
- When ordering a memorial service, you must renounce any of your sins, for your own benefit and to console the soul of the deceased;
- Make a donation to the temple;
- Gather at a common table all those who are close to the deceased and Orthodox Christians;
- Prepare special dishes;
- Do not drink alcohol;
- Don't sing songs.
A wake is not a celebration or a celebration, it is a moment of grief and petition. It is highly inappropriate to drink alcoholic beverages, sing songs or listen to music at this time. They take place for 1-2 hours, when believers remember the departed and pray for him.
Therefore, it is important that only Christians are present at the dinner who can share this time of grief with the family and support them spiritually.
What to cook
The meal is simple, especially if there is a general church fast. Even if there is no fasting, you should avoid eating meat and under no circumstances donate it to the temple.
Lunch can be arranged both at home and in a cafe. If the deceased was a regular parishioner, the priest may allow the memorial to be held in the church house after the end of the memorial service. Lunch is a continuation of the rite of worship, so it must be done with dignity.
There are a number of dishes that have been prepared for such dinners since ancient times. They are simple and satisfying.
Kutia, which is cooked in a large saucepan, and fish, which can be served in any form, are considered obligatory dishes. Baked or fried meat is not welcome on tables. You need to make your meal as lean as possible in order to benefit not only the spirit, but also the body.
In addition to kutia and fish, you can put on the table:
- rich pancakes;
- fish sandwiches (with sprats or herring);
- vegetable salads: beets with garlic, vinaigrette, herring under a fur coat, Olivier salad;
- cutlets: regular meat or stuffed with mushrooms and cheese;
- peppers stuffed with rice and meat;
- fish aspic;
- lean cabbage rolls (filled with vegetables and mushrooms with rice);
- baked fish;
- pies: fish, cabbage, rice, mushroom, potato or sweet (charlotte).
There are also a number of drinks that should be on the funeral table:
- kvass;
- lemonades;
- sbiten;
- fruit drink and juice;
- jelly: can be cooked from both berries and oatmeal.
Important! It is imperative to remember that the church prohibits drinking alcoholic beverages at such events, as well as leaving vodka on the grave of the deceased. During dinner, they remember the deceased, and with him other deceased relatives and friends. Funeral meal
Funeral speech
At such meals, it is necessary to make a speech, after which everyone should honor the deceased with a minute of silence.
It is best if there is a manager, someone close to the family, but who controls his emotions and maintains sobriety. His responsibilities will include not only monitoring preparations for the meeting (supervising staff if the event is in a cafe), but also giving the floor to family members.
Usually everyone in the family tries to say something about the deceased. And the manager controls the time of speaking and the order (close relatives should come first - spouse, parents or children, etc.
Grief is quite expected at such an event, so the manager must prepare and divert attention from the crying person to himself in time. It is worth remembering that a person did not die forever, but moved on to a better life, and this fact can be recalled in especially sorrowful moments.
Important! If a priest is invited to a meal, then he must serve a prayer service and deliver a sermon. If the remembrance takes place in a small circle, then all those gathered should pray for the deceased and, if possible, read a memorial service or prayer service on their own. At this time, it is recommended to light church candles.
What to talk about in such a speech? The man suddenly passed away and it would be appropriate to remember what he was like, his good deeds and distinctive qualities. You should not remember grievances and strife, if they have left resentment in your heart, this is the best time to talk about forgiveness. It is necessary to remember a person only on the good side, to describe some joint affairs, to remember a funny incident or a particularly touching one.
A funeral speech is a sad speech, but not melancholy. Man has not ceased to exist, he is simply now in a different form and world.
What do they take to the cemetery for 40 days?
According to traditions, on memorial days, people go to the cemetery to say goodbye to a loved one. You need to take flowers with you to the grave, of which there should be a pair, and a candle. With these objects, the living can express their respect to the deceased. You cannot talk loudly at the grave, have snacks, and especially drink alcohol. Another important point regarding what is brought to the cemetery for 40 days is that as a treat for the deceased, you can take a plate of kutya from home and leave it at the grave.
What are they giving away for 40 days?
There are many traditions associated with memorial days. On the fortieth day, it is customary to distribute various treats to people so that they remember the deceased. In most cases, they give cookies, sweets and pastries. Customs for 40 days after death say that during the first forty days after death, it is necessary to distribute the things of the deceased person to needy people, asking them to pray for his soul. This tradition is not described in the Bible and is a personal decision for each individual.
What to do in church
Church commemoration is necessary for the dead. Saying a prayer for the deceased is an ancient Orthodox tradition. At the moment of death, the soul leaves the body and leaves the world of the living. Prayer helps alleviate the posthumous fate of the deceased and liberate him from sins.
There are special days throughout the year when the dead are commemorated. On Sunday, they honor the memory of victims of sudden death, who died without repentance and prayerful guidance before the afterlife.
Memorial days are called Ecumenical Parental Saturdays. They are determined according to the Lenten-Easter cycle. The church organizes funeral services on the day of mourning.
The dead should be commemorated on anniversaries associated with his birth and death. It is allowed to hold a funeral event on any day of the week.
Before visiting the grave, relatives should visit the church before the service begins. It is necessary to leave a note mentioning the name of the deceased so that he will be remembered at the holy altar.
On Sundays, a special prayer is performed in churches to remember the dead during the liturgy. A special Orthodox service takes place, called the funeral liturgy.
The clergy recommend that the relatives of the deceased submit notes on the eve of Sunday. It is necessary to personally attend a church service and pray for the deceased. It is advisable for the mourner to receive communion. At home, you can remember the deceased with a funeral meal.
Funeral service for 40 days – when to order?
On the fortieth day of commemoration of the deceased, you must definitely go to the temple, where you can pray and order a memorial service and magpie.
- The most important prayer is said at the liturgy. During this, a bloodless sacrifice must be made to the Lord.
- Seeing off the soul on the 40th day necessarily includes a memorial service and this ritual is served in front of a special table called the eve. Gifts are left there for the needs of the temple and in memory of the dead. If a memorial service is not scheduled on the day that falls, then a litany is held for the deceased.
- Understanding the topic - 40 days after death, how to commemorate, it is necessary to say that it is important to order the magpie, which is carried out from the day of death until the 40th day. When the allotted time is over, the sorokoust can be repeated one more time. Longer memorial times can be ordered.
Question-answer section
Do Orthodox people have funerals on Sunday?
Expert opinionFather PaulPriest
According to Christian traditions, when preparing for a burial, a date is chosen. There is no prohibition on performing the ritual on days off: Saturday, Sunday. Funeral services are also held. But it is important to study the religious calendar to see if there are any important holidays falling during this period. If they are absent, burial can take place. Funerals are allowed on any day except Easter, Christmas, and some other twelve holidays.
Funerals on Sunday are allowed according to Orthodox traditions
Is it possible for Catholics to bury on Sunday or not?
Expert opinionRemontnikov Vladimir PetrovichReligious scholar, historian
Catholics do not set boundaries - burial takes place on any day. They are not even tied to a three-day period. You can remember and bury from Monday to Sunday. It is believed that the deceased needs a warm word and support from loved ones at any time. There are no exceptions; from this point of view, Catholics are freer than Orthodox. But this is neither good nor bad, because the opportunity to pay tribute to the Son of God, the Mother of God, during the twelve feasts does not bring harm to the soul, on the contrary, only benefit. By comparison, in Islam it is customary to bury the deceased without delay - on the same day when death occurred. If a Muslim died late at night, then the burial ceremony is postponed to a later date - the next day. The Jews are even more strict when choosing the day of the funeral: the ceremony is not performed on Saturdays and holidays.
Catholic funeral rite
