How to invite for 40 days after death. Preparing for the funeral. Words on the fortieth day after death

“I’ll introduce myself for those who don’t know me: my name is (name). We have worked together with (name of deceased) for the past few years and I would like to say a few words in memory of him.

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I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever"

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Based on the examples presented above, several basic rules can be identified:

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There are no sins and atrocities, O Lord, greater than Thy mercy! To the slave of the earth and vain desires, forgive the sins for his/her sorrows!

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The philosopher knew that everything has its time, Fate cannot be deceived: The poet has been lonely for centuries - May the glorious one be completed

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There is no water in the funeral cup! Let us not grieve: The midnight star will rise - We will meet again!

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Let it flow from the righteous heights, Until the end of days, the melody of your soul - Why be sad about it?

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It is the Orthodox faith that has a unique view of the afterlife and believes that prayer on the fortieth day can influence the verdict that our God will pronounce on the soul.

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It is important to ask the church to pray for the deceased, so it is worth ordering services in the church:

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But it is much more important for relatives and friends to sincerely and fervently ask the Lord for mercy for the deceased. In addition, you can read a prayer to Saint War for the repose of your soul.

Where is the soul of the deceased until 40 days

Christian believers believe that the spirit of a deceased individual travels a long way up to 40 days. From the day of her death until the 3rd day, she is close to her family, close and dear people, and moves anywhere.

Religious people are sure that from 3 to 40 the human spirit visits Hell and Heaven. Throughout this entire period, it is still unknown where the soul will end up. The spirit will have to endure ordeals and tortures, which turn out to be the embodiment of sinful passions, familiar to all people.

After which the demons give a list of human misdeeds, the angels provide a list of good deeds. does not seem canonical and is not included in the main doctrinal code of Orthodoxy.

According to the teachings of Christians, after the soul of the deceased has seen Hell and Heaven, it appears for the third time before the Almighty. It is at such a moment that fate must be decided. Wherever the soul goes, it will remain until the Last Judgment.

Until this moment, she had already imagined the delights of Paradise, realized whether she was really worthy or unworthy to stay there. She saw all the horrors of Hell and must completely repent and pray to God for mercy. Therefore, the Orthodox regard the 40th day as a decisive moment.

To support a deceased relative, you should pray fervently. This will help influence the verdict of the Almighty regarding the soul. If a person is sent to Hell, this does not indicate that all is lost for him. The final fate of mortals will be decided during the Last Judgment, and fervent prayer will help change the verdict of the Lord.

In such a situation, if a soul is sent to Paradise, then with fervent prayer the relatives will thank the Almighty for the grace shown. The number 40 is symbolic in Christianity. It is not surprising that the commemoration of the deceased occurs on the 40th day.

For exactly the same number of days they mourned the forefather Jacob and the prophet Moses. After a 40-day fast on Mount Sinai, Moses received the tablets of the Covenant from the Almighty, during which period the prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb.

How to pray and remember the dead?

Every believer is obliged to remember the dead. Prayers should be especially diligent at the very beginning, because they make it easier to cope with an irreparable loss. And on the 40th day, prayer is said at home or in church. In the house, the female part of the family ties a scarf on their heads, and candles are lit in front of the image of the Lord.

When at a cemetery, liturgy or memorial service, postponing the commemoration is strictly prohibited. In other cases, if it is not possible to remember the deceased on the fortieth day, this can be done earlier.

On the 40th day, a memorial dinner is held, during which the deceased is remembered and prayed for his repose. The funeral dinner should include the following dishes:

kutia made from rice or millet;
rich pancakes;
pies with various fillings;
meat dishes;
fish dishes;
salads from lean products;
the deceased's favorite dish;
dessert (cookies, sweets, cheesecakes, pies).

To carry out a farewell ceremony with a loved one, it is customary to come to the cemetery on funeral days with an even number of flowers and a candle. It is forbidden to make noise, eat food or drink alcohol at the grave. As a treat for the deceased, you can leave a plate of kutya taken from home at the grave.

For forty days, it is customary to distribute cookies, sweets or pastries to people so that they can remember the deceased.

Text of the announcement of farewell to the deceased

GBU RS “Yakut Republican Oncology Dispensary regrets to announce that on November 20, 2022, at the age of 69, after a long illness, our comrade and colleague, oncologist of the highest category, Ambrosy Vsevolodovich Agapov, died.

His whole life is endless devotion to his chosen cause and service to people. He was always responsive, sensitive and not indifferent to other people's problems. He always extended a helping hand to those in need, supporting not only in word, but also in deed. Everyday communication with Ambrose Vsevolodovich brought not only positivity, joy and a charge of energy, but also helped everyone enrich themselves with valuable experience, of which Ambrose Vsevolodovich had a huge amount and which he generously shared with everyone.

The dispensary staff expresses deep condolences to the family and friends of Ambrose Vsevolodovich.

Farewell to Agapov A.V. will take place on December 7 at 13:00 in the funeral hall of the Republican Hospital No. 1 in Yakutsk (Sergelyakhskaya St., 4).

The administration and trade union committee of the university, with deep regret, announce that on February 28, 2022, at the age of 74, a university veteran, member of the National Lawyers Association of Russia, associate professor of the department of financial law, Guriy Dorofeevich Prokurov, passed away.

On the occasion of this bereavement, the administration and staff of the university express deep condolences to the family and friends.

The State Unitary Enterprise “Computing Center for Collective Use” regrets to announce that at the age of 81, after a long serious illness, on New Year’s Eve 2022, the heart of the Director of our enterprise stopped beating,

Oleg Kornilovich Mangalov (08/25/1938 – 12/30/2019).

This loss is difficult, untimely and irreparable.

We will forever preserve the memory of Oleg Kornilovich, gratitude for his work, and we will be proud to have worked under his leadership.

October 14, 2022

After a long illness, a wonderful person, innovator, and teacher left us.

Barsukov Epifan Zosimovich.

We mourn the death of Epifan Zosimovich and express our deep condolences to his family and friends.

Team of MBOU Secondary School No. 2116, Mozhaisk

The labor collective of OJSC “with deep regret announces the death of an employee of the enterprise on October 8, 2022

Kryakov Platon Onisimovich.

Since 2012, Platon Onisimovich has worked as a repairman of production equipment.

He was distinguished by exceptional hard work, was a true professional in his field, a passionate and respected person. Most of his working life was spent on and he died while performing a work assignment.

suffered an irreparable loss. While we mourn the loss of our colleague, we express our condolences to the family and friends of the deceased.

The bright memory of our comrade will forever remain in our hearts.

Farewell will take place on October 15 at 11:45

at the Youth Culture House at:

st. Mira, 82 (former House of Culture VHZ)

Administration, Trade Union Committee

When do you need to order a memorial service for 40 days?

At this time, visiting the temple is mandatory. They pray there, order a memorial service and celebrate the magpie. The most important prayer is the one said at the liturgy. An obligatory bloodless sacrifice is offered to the Lord.

The memorial service is served before the eve - a special table on which gifts are left for the needs of the temple and in memory of the deceased. Litiya is held if a memorial service is not scheduled on the appointed day.

Sorokoust is carried out from the day of death until the fortieth day, and when this time ends, sorokoust is allowed to be repeated again. The timing of commemoration can be extended.

Traditions and rituals

Since ancient times, many different customs have developed regarding the 40 days, but the church confirms only a small part. Well-known traditions are presented below:

For forty days it is advisable not to pay special attention to clothes and not to cut your hair.
When setting the table for a funeral dinner, cutlery in the form of knives and forks is strictly prohibited; spoons are placed with the notch down.
The crumbs remaining on the table must be collected and taken to the grave - in this way the deceased is informed that there has been a wake.
You can also take food from your home with you to the wake, for example, some pancakes or pies.
Doors and windows must be tightly closed at night. It is forbidden to cry - because of this, the soul of the deceased may be attracted.
On the bedside table or table you need to leave a glass, which is filled with vodka and covered with a piece of bread. If the soul drinks from there, then the amount of liquid will decrease.
Until forty days you cannot crack the seeds. There are several explanations for this ban. Firstly, because of this, the soul of the deceased may be spit on. Secondly, those who violate the ban may have toothache for a long time. Thirdly, in this way you can attract evil spirits.
It is customary to distribute spoons for forty days. In ancient times, wooden spoons were distributed from funeral dinners, but now ordinary spoons can be distributed. Thus, while using this cutlery, a person will involuntarily remember the deceased. On the other hand, there is a superstition that it is impossible to distribute various dishes from a funeral for forty days - they act as a participant in the farewell ritual and can bring bad events or even death to a person.

Rules for a funeral speech

Funeral words are not just banal expressions characteristic of some holiday. You are expected to be respectful and concise, and to speak from the heart. You should not memorize the text at home, but it is advisable to at least roughly think through your words first. Add a little improvisation to make it sincere, but prepare the main points in a quiet environment. Think about what you want to say.

The ideal words for a wake should be:

concise, precise;
positive (any bad quality, even well-known to everyone, can be presented from an unexpected angle or played up, but it is better to omit it);
specific - speak only when you have something to say.

They will understand you if the funeral speech at the wake is not told in one breath with the given expression. If your feelings are overwhelming, you can cry or allow additional manifestations of emotions. The person passed away quite recently, and you are naturally depressed - this is a completely adequate state. It is unfair to demand perfect funeral words from a mother who has lost a child, or from a newly made widow.

The main goal of a memorial speech is to revive warm memories of the deceased. Therefore, choose a special incident from your life associated with this person. Try to accurately recreate all the emotions you felt at that moment. This will help you convey the personal qualities of the deceased.

There are no ideal people. But you can always turn even controversial, well-known qualities into positive ones:

They say about a strict person: “Helped me to become the best of the best”;
About the carefree: “He knew the value of life and tried to live it in such a way that he would never regret a boring and gray life”;
About the greedy: “I tried to ensure a decent old age for myself and my loved ones”;
About the trusting: “He saw only the best in people, always helped them and never refused anyone - this is what we should all learn from him”;
About the stubborn: “He always went forward, did not bend under the weight of circumstances”;
About the dreamer: “I wanted to see only the best side of the world, gave people goodness and hope that someday all the bad things will pass.”

Remember that a funeral speech at a wake is usually delivered while standing. It’s not scary if the words at the funeral are interrupted by tears or your legs begin to tremble. No one will judge you for this. The most important thing is to convey to people the importance of the mission of the deceased on Earth. Make sure that they believe you, so that everyone understands how close you were. But at the same time, do not “pull the blanket” over yourself. Give everyone the opportunity to speak - guests have the same right to this as you.

Add to your story words that the deceased often said.
It wouldn’t hurt to remember a person’s favorite book and quote from it a few phrases that you think best describe his character.
Choose the most correct and restrained expressions.

You can end your speech at the wake (40 days) with an epitaph that reflects the personality of the deceased. Choose the most appropriate phrase. If the person was a believer, then God can be mentioned, but for an atheist this option would be inappropriate. By doing this, you will not only insult the memory of the deceased, but also offend those present - loved ones and relatives who respected the person’s choice.

If you have a penchant for writing poetry, then use it. But there should be a moderate amount of rhyme. If funeral words are spoken alone with someone close, then poetry is inappropriate. At the table, it is possible to mention a few lines that also fit the description of the character.

But the less rhyme, the better. She often sounds vulgar, which ruins the ceremony. If you really want to amaze everyone with your talent, help me come up with an epitaph for the monument. Or you can successfully weave rhyming lines into the text by making comparisons.

If you want to help the relatives and friends of the deceased in another way (for example, financially), then do not announce this at the table. First of all, it sounds conceited. Secondly, all sincerity immediately disappears. It will be much more pleasant and meaningful to people if you personally approach them and offer help.

Personally, you can say much more, mention what cannot be said in front of guests for some reason. In addition, you don’t have to wait until the ceremony itself to make such requests for help. Most likely, your help will be needed for the funeral. Your loved ones will warmly appreciate your concern for the departed.

Important signs for forty days after death

There are a large number of superstitions that are associated with this date. However, it is worth mentioning and knowing the most famous of them:

The house cannot be cleaned for forty days.
The night light or candle should always be on.
The deceased may appear in various reflective surfaces and take the living with them, so until the fortieth day, everything that has mirror surfaces, for example, televisions, mirrors, etc., is covered with a cloth.
During a wake, forty days after death, a place is allocated for the deceased, where they place a plate and a glass covered with a piece of bread.
The widow's head must be covered with a black scarf all the time until forty days, otherwise the woman may incur damage to herself.
Every day a towel and a glass filled with water are placed on the windowsill so that the soul has the opportunity to wash itself.

It is important to remember that the 40-day commemoration is not a celebration or celebration. This is a time of mourning, forgiveness. At this time, it is strictly forbidden to sing any songs, listen to music, or drink alcohol.

During the 1-2 hours during which the wake takes place, believers pray for the deceased and remember him. Only Christians should be present at the funeral dinner - they will help the family share this difficult time and provide it with spiritual support.

When a loved one has not yet crossed the threshold of eternity, his relatives try in every possible way to show signs of attention and offer all possible help. This reveals the duty of fulfilling love for one’s neighbor, which is a mandatory responsibility in the Christian faith. But man is not eternal. There comes a moment for everyone. However, this transition from one state of personality to another should not be marked by leaving behind the memory of. A person is alive as long as he is remembered. It is a religious duty to organize memorial dinners in memory of all who knew the latter during his lifetime.

How to invite to a funeral or wake

An obituary contains a description of important and interesting events in the life of a deceased person. This could be professional achievements, career, family relationships, marriage, birth of children. In the obituary, you can mention key places of study and work, success in hobbies. If the deceased deserved regalia and awards, they are worth mentioning in the note.

The obituary usually indicates the main life milestones with dates: the beginning of studies and graduation from alma mater, the beginning of a career path, the beginning of family life.

Concluding the obituary, it is necessary to emphasize that the deceased is worthy of eternal memory. Towards the end of the text, the author should switch from an informational narrative style to a more emotional one. However, this does not negate the need to present the text delicately and with restraint.

Often, an epitaph, an excerpt from the writings of the deceased himself, or some quoted statement about him is placed at the end of the obituary. If relatives still have the diaries of the deceased, you can place a quote in the epitaph - some deep thought or just a phrase that meant a lot to the deceased or his loved ones.

How to send an invitation correctly?

Name of the deceased, date, time and place of funeral (cemetery, crematorium) or address of the funeral café.

You can indicate how to get there by public transport or where to park your car .

The administration and staff of the State Healthcare Institution "Trans-Baikal Regional Oncology Dispensary" express deep condolences to family and friends in connection with the untimely death

Krushina Elvira Zakharovna

nurse of the highest category, excellent healthcare worker, labor veteran. Elvira Zakharovna will always be for us an example of boundless devotion to her profession, mercy and wisdom. We will forever remember her irrepressible vital energy, cheerfulness, high spiritual and ethical qualities. The bright memory of her will remain in our hearts forever.

The semantic meaning of 9 days after the death of a person

According to Orthodox doctrine, the human soul is immortal. This is confirmed by practice in the Christian tradition. Church Tradition teaches that for the first three days after death, the soul remains on earth in those places that were especially loved by it. Then she ascends to God. The Lord shows the soul the heavenly abodes in which the righteous are blissful.

The personal self-consciousness of the soul is touched, it marvels at what it sees, and the bitterness from leaving the earth is no longer so strong. This happens over six days. Then the angels ascend the soul again to worship God. It turns out that this is the ninth day, on which the soul sees its Creator for the second time. In memory of this, the Church establishes a wake, at which it is customary to gather in a narrow family circle. Commemoration is ordered in churches, prayers are offered to God for the pardon of the deceased. There is a statement that there is no one who has lived and not. Also, the semantic meaning of the number nine is the memory of the Church about the corresponding number of angelic ranks. It is the angels who accompany the soul, showing it all the beauties of paradise.

The fortieth day is the time of private judgment of the soul

After nine days, the soul is shown the hellish abodes. She observes all the horror of incorrigible sinners, feels fear and awe of what she sees. Then for a day he again ascends to God for worship, only this time a private judgment of the soul also takes place. This date is always considered the most important in the afterlife of the deceased. There is no tradition of transfer, no matter what day they fall on.

The soul is judged for all the deeds a person has done during his lifetime. And after this, the place of her stay until the second coming of Christ is determined. It is especially important these days to pray and give alms in memory of a relative or friend who has left this world. A person asks God for mercy, the opportunity to grant a blessed fate to a deceased person.

The number 40 has its own meaning. Even in the Old Testament it was prescribed to preserve the memory of the deceased for 40 days. In New Testament times, semantic analogies can be drawn with the Ascension of Christ. So, it was on the 40th day after His resurrection that the Lord ascended to heaven. This date is also a memory of the fact that the human soul, after death, again goes to its Heavenly Father.

In general, holding a wake is an act of mercy towards living people. Lunch is offered as alms in memory of, and other rituals are performed that testify to a person’s faith in the immortality of the soul. This is also the hope for the salvation of each individual person.

40 days after death is an important date. What does it mean and how correctly, according to Christian traditions, to remember the dead so that they find eternal peace and God's grace. This question is often heard from people who are far from Orthodox traditions, but if the family of the deceased wants to pay a debt of memory and respect to a relative, everything should be done correctly. Therefore, we will tell you how to remember for 40 days after the death of a loved one.

Christians should remember deceased friends and loved ones not only on days of mourning. True believers pray for the souls of their loved ones every minute. But there are dates when you must strictly follow the priest’s instructions. These are three, nine and forty days from the date of death.

The fortieth day is the most important for the soul of the deceased; she receives news of where she will await the Last Judgment.

But until this time, the soul is nearby, it is on earth: it sees everything, hears, and yearns. That is why you cannot indulge in grief for a long time, cry bitterly and ask the deceased to return. A person already suffers from the inability to change something, and grieving relatives bring even greater confusion.

A 40-day wake is an important and responsible event.

At this moment, Orthodox Christians should pray for the deceased, set the table, remember the earthly affairs of the deceased, visit the cemetery, and light a candle in the church for the repose. Order a prayer service in memory of the newly deceased servant of God. These actions make it easier for the soul to transition to another world and help those who are grieving to endure a bitter loss.

How should a believer respond to the death of a loved one?

Our ancestors believed in an afterlife, and throughout their earthly journey they prepared for the transition to a new state. Modern Orthodox Christians and fellow Catholics also believe in the posthumous existence of the soul. After death, we no longer influence where the incorporeal shell will be assigned, but relatives and friends are obliged to sincerely and fervently ask for leniency in order to soften the Lord. Only faith, sacred words and warm memories can ease the fate of the newly deceased. Therefore, it is never too late to express grief and ask the Almighty for mercy. A man has died, but close relatives are asking for him.

Go to church, remember with a kind word someone who is dear to you.

Death is a stage in life's journey. Sooner or later, the hour will come for everyone to die. After earthly existence there comes a period of retribution for what has been done. There is no need to be afraid of the end of life; one should be afraid of punishment for unrighteous deeds and deeds.

How to write a farewell announcement to the deceased

Hello, in this article we will try to answer the question: “How to correctly write an announcement about farewell to the deceased.”
You can also consult with lawyers online for free directly on the website. Today, posthumous texts are divided into groups: personal and professional, brief and detailed. Each of them has its own peculiarities of presentation, but all modern obituaries are characterized by truthfulness and sincerity. By writing an obituary, the author expresses condolences to family and friends, friends and colleagues. Sincere sympathy expressed in an obituary makes readers feel interested and share the feelings of the mourners.

But at the same time, the obituary cannot afford to be overly emotional. The text must adhere to a certain style. An obituary is a restrained, strict note. She should not hurt the feelings of loved ones who have lost a loved one. A mandatory requirement is the reliability of the information. One must neither slander the deceased nor embellish the reality.

The meaning of date in Christianity

Burying a loved one is difficult. 40 days after death, what the date means and how to properly remember the deceased - these are the questions people ask when faced with death. How to express grief, organize a farewell and memorial service, what to serve. In difficult times, relatives get lost and don’t know how to behave properly.

There is no exact answer to the question of why exactly the fortieth day is taken as the key point of the soul’s farewell to the earth. But the Orthodox faith says that the power of prayer on this day can decide the fate of the soul going to heaven. This is the last chance given to influence the highest decision. That is why it is so important to observe the commemoration calendar.

The fortieth day is counted from the moment of death. It doesn't matter whether the sad event happened in the morning or in the evening. It is customary to count the ninth day in the same way. These dates in the Orthodox tradition are called days of remembrance. It is necessary to observe all rituals and traditions so that the soul of the deceased can feel at ease and at peace.

A Christian, a baptized person is remembered with prayer. It is said in church and at home. They hold a funeral dinner and distribute alms to those in need. A mournful meal may be organized outside the house where the deceased lived.

40 is a sacred number. We will find confirmation of this fact in the Bible. So, Moses led the people through the desert for 40 years; After forty days, Jesus ascended to heaven.

After death, the soul goes on a journey: for the first 9 days it worships the Creator. Then, the angels lead her through the afterlife, showing her Heaven and Hell. Finally, God pronounces a verdict regarding her continued existence. After making a decision, the soul goes to permanent rest. Where the Last Judgment and Resurrection awaits.

There are strict requirements for the mourning dinner.

No alcohol.
Appropriate clothing.
Prohibition of loud conversations and funny songs.
You should not take a wake as an occasion to meet with friends and talk about abstract topics. Find another place and time for socializing.
Those gathered at the table must adhere to the Orthodox faith. Only they can help the soul of the newly deceased.

Remember, a wake is not a gathering of old friends. You cannot turn a memorial into an ordinary feast, this is a sin.

You should pray for the deceased not only on mourning dates. You need to turn to the Lord with requests starting from the first minutes of death. This will make it easier for the soul to find peace.

Main dishes of the funeral table

The funeral meal is simple. The rules become stricter when she is in office. But even if there are no restrictions on this day, refuse meat food. Prepare lean dishes: vegetables, fish. You cannot donate fast food to the temple.

Products such as cereals, bread, and vegetable oil are brought for the church table. They bring milk and eggs. Candies are suitable to please children.

Obligatory dishes at a funeral meal.

Kutya
Fish (baked or boiled)
Pancakes
Vegetable salads
Olivier or vinaigrette with herring
Lenten cabbage rolls

Complete the list of dishes following the advice of your confessor. He will tell you what to cook for your farewell dinner.

Among the drinks, preference is given to jelly, kvass, and traditional dried fruit compote.

Important! Ignorant people leave vodka on the grave. The Orthodox Church categorically prohibits following barbaric customs. Water, not strong drinks, is poured into a cut glass that is placed near a photograph of the deceased house. Do not forget about traditions and stop attempts to mix pagan rituals with Orthodox canons.

Funeral words

To remember the deceased properly, you should say a few words about him. At a mourning dinner, it is considered the rule to make speeches. But it will be better if those gathered at the funeral feast honor the memory of their friend and relative with a minute of silence. A sad meeting at the funeral table is a time of remembrance: tell us what a wonderful person the deceased was, what he loved, what virtues he possessed. Tips for hosting an event:

The funeral speech is pronounced standing.
The host is chosen to be someone close to the family. He must be collected and keep the situation under control. Do not give in to emotions, be able to calm inconsolable relatives.
The ceremony director thinks through the speech in advance, prepares soothing phrases in case the words are interrupted due to sobs.

Speeches at funerals are always short, so that everyone has the opportunity to speak. It is important to remember that death is not forever. The soul of the deceased passed into a new state. The death of a loved one is a serious test, but try to distract yourself from sad thoughts and support your friends and relatives.

The Church does not set a strict time frame, but meets the parishioners halfway. The main thing is not to forget about the person: read a prayer, order a service, remember him in church. If the forties fall on a Sunday or Lent, then you can reschedule the funeral dinner and go to the cemetery. This rule also applies to the year from the date of death. It can also be celebrated earlier.

Significant dates of the memorial calendar are three, nine, forty days, the anniversary of death.

Example of a funeral speech

In order not to be constrained by the “correct” but inappropriate speech for you, instead of a specific example, we will offer the optimal structure of a funeral word with examples of phrases of grief.

Appeal:

Dear friends and relatives of [Name]!
Dear guests!
Brothers and sisters!
Dear family and friends of our beloved [Name]

Personal positioning in relation to the deceased (modestly):

I am the nephew of our revered [Name].
I am the brother of [Name] whom we remember today.
[Name] and I have worked/served together for a long time/recent years.

About a mourning event (news of death or memory of a funeral):

My father was ill for a long time; we understood what would happen, but when we got a call from the hospital...
When I found out that [Name] died, I couldn't think about anything else that evening.
Although my grandfather lived a long life, the news of his death shocked me.
Today is 40 days since my mother left us.
A year ago we said goodbye to [Name], a respected and worthy person.

A few words about the best qualities of the deceased :

Grandmother was the kindest person, a hospitable and hospitable hostess.
She has been a support and reliable support for her deceased husband for five years now.
He was known as a joker and an optimist; it was easy and carefree to be with him.
He gave confidence in the future and was a support for those around him.

Who should not be remembered

In the Christian tradition, it is customary to remember only those who died from natural causes. Who else is not named in prayers:

Suicides
People who died or committed suicide while intoxicated or otherwise intoxicated
Apostates
Unbaptized
Atheists
Inovertsev

An exception is made only for those whose death occurred due to clouding of reason. People whose minds have been damaged as a result of illness are not excommunicated from church sacraments. They are buried, prayers are offered over the body, and they are remembered in the temple. This is due to the fact that the person who had gone crazy did not know what he was doing, which means there was no malicious intent.

Life is a great gift given by God. When a person neglects it, he is deprived of the right to church commemoration. Voluntary departure can only mean one thing - eternal torment and suffering of the soul.

They don’t light candles in churches for suicides, they don’t order memorial services. Relatives pray for them at home, privately. They give out alms and ask the Almighty for mercy towards the lost soul. People need to remember this whenever the thought of putting an end to suffering and troubles at once creeps into their minds.

The text of the announcement of farewell to the deceased - watch the video

If the relatives of the deceased order a funeral ceremony in a church, then it is up to you to decide whether to attend it or not . The most correct thing is to find out about this in advance and clarify what funeral rites are accepted in a particular religion.

For example, among Orthodox Christians, all those present hold lighted candles in their hands and, standing at the coffin, read prayers. In Jewish tradition, it is inappropriate to bring wreaths or flowers to a funeral. And Catholics send out written invitations to a memorial service - a mass.

At a memorial service, the first places at the coffin are always reserved for close relatives. Therefore, you need to sit or stand a little further away. In addition, if you are ignorant of rituals, it will be easier to navigate from there and repeat after others what everyone else does: bowing, laying a cross or repeating the words of a prayer.

If you adhere to a different faith and religious views, you do not have to perform the rituals of someone else's faith . You can simply stand or sit on the sidelines with your head bowed mournfully and thereby express respect for the deceased and everyone present.

Distribution of things and alms

An integral part of commemoration is the distribution of the deceased's belongings to charity. For 40 days, be sure to sort through what belonged to the deceased during his lifetime: distribute memorable, dear trinkets to friends and acquaintances - this is the right and Christian act. Take clean and unworn items to the temple and offer them to those who are poor. This is not just a ritual or sign, but an act of mercy and goodwill. It will be credited both to the one who does good and to the soul of the deceased in the next world.

Relatives leave things that remind them of their relative.

Condolences on the occasion of death in your own words, short examples

All over the world, when a person leaves this world, a special farewell ceremony takes place. In this way, the living express respect to the deceased. Each nation has its own burial rites, which can differ significantly from each other. But one thing still unites us - during the funeral, relatives, friends and just acquaintances come to say goodbye to the deceased.

In addition, funerals remind everyone that there are no immortal people and this fate awaits everyone, which forces many to rethink their views on their existence.

The funeral ceremony also acts as a kind of parting word and reminder to the living that they should not waste it in vain. The Orthodox faith views the process of death as a transition to life in the Kingdom of Heaven.

To do this, the dying person needs to prepare. So, the farewell ceremony consists of the following stages:

It is believed that only by completing these rituals, the deceased will be able to gain eternal life.

After all the rituals performed at home, the deceased is sent to the cemetery. Not everyone knows how to say goodbye to the deceased correctly; some points are still worth taking into account:

Due to the development of online media, print newspapers have become significantly less popular, but obituaries continue to exist. Now they are hung in the form of a poster or leaflet at the place of work of the deceased and published in local newspapers that review the events of a small city or region.

In many countries, there is still a tradition of publishing notes about marriages, births and deaths of residents of the area in local newspapers.

Larger media outlets print news about death only in the event of the death of famous people, and the format of the note does not always correspond to the traditional canons of an obituary.

An obituary must follow certain rules. The message indicates the last name, first name and patronymic of the deceased, the dates of his birth and death, and the circumstances of his death. It is also customary to talk about the main merits and achievements of a person, talk about significant events, and express condolences to the family of the deceased.

If this is an obituary for a colleague, then it is important to highlight his contribution to the success of the organization; if the deceased was the winner of certain awards, they should also be mentioned. The text must be sincere; negative statements about the deceased are not allowed. There is a tradition of mentioning family members and close relatives in the obituary.

The obituary may also indicate the date and time of the civil memorial service for the deceased, if the ceremony is planned to be public.

Today, relatives of the deceased, if they want to order an obituary, can place obituaries in newspapers that have a corresponding section or on specialized websites. As a rule, obituaries are written to order by journalists based on information provided by the relatives of the deceased.

Less often, the obituary is written by the relatives themselves, and publications publish the finished text. Also, obituaries are often published by organizations in which the deceased worked.

In this case, the text is usually placed on an information stand in an office building and posted on the website, and is compiled by company employees.

After all the rituals performed at home, the deceased is sent to the cemetery. Not everyone knows how to say goodbye to the deceased correctly; some points are still worth taking into account:

What prayer to read for 40 days

Prayers are read at home for the repose of the soul. It is not necessary to learn words by heart. The main thing is that they come from the heart. The clergy say that God hears us when we sincerely ask for help. They also say a prayer to Saint War:

Oh, venerable holy martyr Uare, we kindle with zeal for the Lord Christ, you confessed the Heavenly King before the tormentor, and for Him you suffered zealously, and now the Church honors you, as you are glorified by the Lord Christ with the glory of Heaven, Who has given you the grace of great boldness towards Him, and now you stand before Him with the Angels, and rejoice in the Highest, and see clearly the Holy Trinity, and enjoy the light of the Beginning Radiance, remember also our relatives' yearning, who died in wickedness, accept our petition, and like Cleopatrine, you freed the unfaithful race from eternal torment with your prayers , so remember those who were buried in opposition to God, who died unbaptized, striving to ask for deliverance from eternal darkness, so that we may all praise the Most Merciful Creator with one mouth and one heart forever and ever. Amen.

Whatever events happen in life, sad or joyful, people should remember that God is watching over them. Supports in difficult times, encourages, instructs, rejoices when life gets better. This statement is first of all worth remembering when death comes to the house. In the first minutes and hours, it is important not to lose heart, to help the disembodied essence of the deceased safely pass the tests on the way to Paradise.

Commemoration of the deceased is not a tribute to traditions or unquestioning observance of Christian customs. A prayer said without faith is a meaningless set of words. This is painstaking and difficult work that falls on the shoulders of those who remain on earth. Our task is to provide the soul with a comfortable transition to another world, to give the opportunity to rest in Christ, to atone for lifetime sins.

After the death of a person, it is customary for Orthodox people to remember the deceased. The first time the funeral table should be set is on the 9th day after death, then on the 40th day and a year later. The wake on the 40th day is considered the most important event since the day of death. After all, it is on this day that the soul of the deceased leaves the mortal world and goes to heaven to the creator.

Examples of funeral words

A memorial speech for an anniversary or 40 days should come from the heart. This is the only way to honor the memory of the departed with dignity. Therefore, below is not a specific funeral speech (40 days or a year) that can be learned, but just an example. Spend a few evenings completing and expanding the provided plan. Think carefully: the right speeches at a funeral are not born instantly.

First try to draw up a psychological portrait of the deceased on paper. Write down all the character traits that come to your mind, and then supplement them with associations. Based on this, you can create abstracts with unique comparisons that are appropriate for such a case, because they will come from the heart. But remember that at a wake it is better to give a speech rather than read it from a sheet. This way you will show respect for the deceased and will look more sincere.

Start by contacting:

Dear guests/colleagues!
Dear relatives, friends and loved ones!
Dear brothers (sisters) of our loved one!

A small amount of pathos is acceptable at the beginning. Remember to be modest when introducing yourself. The emphasis is on your relationship with the departed person, and not just on you:

I had the honor of serving with the same military unit for more than 20 years;
I am the younger brother, who has always been and will be the main example for me;
I am a wife who will always be a ray of light illuminating my path;
was my teacher in high school.

Here it is permissible to take a short pause and collect your thoughts. Make farewell toasts at the wake slowly, there is no need to rush somewhere. However, the speech at the funeral should be concise and, if possible, short. Don't repeat cliched phrases. Let you look unconventional. A 40-day memorial speech is your opportunity to sincerely state the most important thing about a person that was dear to you and how you will remember him forever.

Next, be sure to tell us how you learned about the sad event. Mention your reaction:

Today marks exactly 1 year since he is no longer with me. I couldn't think of anything else that evening;
The worst thing that could happen to me happened that morning. Like out of the blue...
As I remember now, it was drizzling. The phone rang and a few minutes later I learned the terrible news;
I often visited in the hospital. I suspected that this was going to happen, but I still wasn’t mentally prepared;
My grandmother was barely able to support me after I found out about leaving. I thought for a long time about what words to say today, and finally decided.

Don't worry if your toasts at the wake sound somehow strange and unusual. Try not to use established phrases and expressions. Believe in what you say. Convey your sincere emotions.

Next, tell your main idea. Tell us who the deceased was to you. Remember an interesting incident, a character detail, a person’s favorite saying. Strive to demonstrate some outstanding quality:

was a famous joker. I still can’t forgive him for that prank during the service...
always strived to help others. “To save a comrade is to save yourself,” said the grandmother;
You will never meet a greater optimist than.

Add another memory to the story if appropriate, or expand on what you said earlier. If your speech complements the statements of others, then this is good. You can speak out immediately after your classmates, if you remember the teacher - school stories will be on topic.

You can end your speech with a special prayer (a special epitaph) or simply with memorable words that really matter to you. Remember to be creative, but keep it brief. Long speech is perceived much worse. In addition, you may feel tired or confused about your memories due to a surge of emotions.

Memorial words for the anniversary of death or 40 days are not just sentences, but theses that support the memory of the deceased in your heart. Share warm memories with others, create a cozy atmosphere and remember only the best qualities that emphasize the significance of the deceased. The examples of words given above will help you express your feelings correctly and compose a worthy speech at a funeral or wake.

How to organize a wake for 40 days

Weeks later, the wounds are so fresh, the grief is just beginning to sink in, and few people are thinking about how to organize a wake for 40 days. But you need to find the strength within yourself and make the funeral table according to all the rules. There is no need to rush and grab everything at once. You need to think through every little detail and act according to plan. Let's consider a step-by-step algorithm for the wake on day 40:

You need to decide on the location of this event. Some people prefer to remember the departed at home, and if the living space is not intended to accommodate a large number of people, then you should think about a 40-day memorial in a cafe or canteen. To do this, you should choose several similar establishments near your home and monitor their prices, familiarize yourself with the conditions for receiving guests and service.
Once the place has been chosen, you need to notify all relatives and friends about where the funeral will take place.
Select a photo of the deceased and frame it with black ribbon. It will stand in the center of the table along with a glass of vodka and a piece of bread.

The last and most painstaking task will be creating a menu and purchasing products.

How to Express Condolences for a Death in Your Own Words

After losing a loved one, people may experience a variety of intense feelings, including sadness, anger, guilt, and many others. They may also face a number of practical stressors , such as funeral costs, having to return to work, cleaning the house or childcare responsibilities. And now they no longer have that loved one who supported them in life.

Social support is needed to cope with stress. Condolences are one form of such consolation.

Often, speaking about how the deceased positively influenced others and what an important role he played in their lives can provide a powerful positive boost in times of grief. Finally, knowing that people care, that loved ones are remembered, and that they are important to others can help a person feel connected to their daily life again and cope with loss.

We know we need to say something . It is very difficult to understand what exactly a person is experiencing and how he perceives the loss. If you haven't experienced something like this in your life, you can only guess.

We don't encounter death every day. For many people, writing a condolence message is not an easy task. What do you say and how do you say it? You want to sound sincere, but you're afraid it will come out differently. And this additional stress of yours is an obstacle at a time when you want to support and help.

Your message should let your family and friends know that they are not alone and that you share their pain.

Using condolence examples is completely acceptable and is often a great way to eloquently express how you feel.

These phrases are selected from the words of great thinkers, writers, celebrities and religious leaders. History has lost many of the authors of the ideas of condolences, but such words evoke no less a response. Each of the expressions makes sense and is thought out.

Sometimes when you learn of a death, you are far from the bereaved person, or perhaps you did not even know the deceased. However, you feel the need to somehow alleviate their grief . This happens in situations where the grieving person is your colleague, friend or neighbor , and you knew his deceased loved one only briefly.

Depending on your relationship with the bereaved, you will need to handle things differently . If it is a close friend or family member, you will likely visit them to provide support and assistance. If the grieving person is not in the closest circle, then sending a message of condolences is the right option. Perhaps this is an acquaintance or work colleague, a gym or club mate.

In such a situation, it is best to express your condolences with a simple and clear message . A long letter may seem insincere and unnecessary. Your message should let the family and friends of the deceased know that they are not alone and that you share their pain. Using condolence examples is often a great way to express how you feel. Written condolences are positive without being overly emotional. They are straightforward and to the point.

> what is the correct obituary? write “Obituary example” - the most common search engine is to type in a combination of words in order to find a sample required for writing a notice of death Obituary.

person is an example of a specific genre that informs about death and the funeral of the deceased, and gives a special coloring to the text. We present you with a sample - write as an obituary. What is an obituary? An obituary is a message about the death of a person, accompanied by information about his activities, life, character, achievements, etc.

The purpose of compiling an obituary is not an opinion about the deceased, but a brief biography. Obituaries of the deceased can be personal and professional, brief and Obituary. detailed today has taken the form of Truthfulness.

hands for handmade cards can be found in scrapbooking and decoupage stores. In our country, memorial cards are not yet too upcoming.

They prefer to notify about common wakes and funerals by conversation, in person. Meanwhile, like any other invitation card, a funeral card is needed to facilitate the organization of the funeral of the deceased for loved ones and to ensure maximum comfort for those invited to prepare for a sad event. When very little time has passed after the tragic event, it may be difficult for the deceased’s relatives to call all his friends and repeat the same sad message many times.

And the invitees, in turn, having received a funeral business card indicating the date, time and exact address, will not confuse anything. If you think that many people would like to honor the memory of the deceased, sending memorial cards or passing them from hand to hand can save you a lot of mental energy. Precisely because postcards are still not widespread in Russia like this, it can be difficult to find a suitable one in a store.

Therefore, a good way out of the situation may be to make postcards yourself. Moreover, a handmade postcard made in memory of the deceased will be the best evidence of your concern and sincere attitude towards him.

When making handmade cards, you are usually limited only by your own imagination. In the Internet

Category: Here you will find examples for the text of a funeral speech at a funeral. These farewell words to the deceased are written in prose (not in poetry), are suitable (universal for a colleague, friend, mother, father, other relatives, grandmother) and are suitable for public or speech in a narrow circle.

Menu planning for 40 days

In order for the list to comply with the rules, let’s consider the main dishes that are allowed to be placed on the funeral table:

First course: red borscht.
Second course: mashed potatoes with meat and gravy.
Third course: homemade noodles.

In addition to main courses, snacks, bread and drinks are served on the table. Let's consider the snacks that may be present at the funeral table:

Sandwiches with fish.
Vegetable salads and slices.
Baked eggplants and zucchini.
Stuffed pepper.
Aspic.
Mushrooms.
Stuffed cabbage rolls.

Additionally, you can offer pies with various fillings: fish, cheese, potatoes, herbs, peas, cabbage and fruits. Among the drinks, you should give preference to jelly, fruit drinks or lemonade. IMPORTANT! A common misconception is that funeral services must include strong drinks. The main thing is to remember the person’s memory, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s juice or vodka.