Funeral service on the 9th day after death - rules of what to cook for the table

Orthodox Christians take funerals, as well as celebrations during life, very seriously. In this case, it is important to do everything according to the rules. Since it is during this period that the soul of the deceased needs prayer and remembrance. In Christian books it is mentioned more than once that through the prayers of the living, there will be help for the dead and vice versa. It is also believed that the soul sees both heaven and hell until the fortieth day, and only after that its fate is determined by its deeds.

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In the modern world, customs have faded a bit and quite often the funeral dinner, which should take place strictly on the ninth day after the funeral, is done on the second day. This is explained by the fact that in cities people constantly do not have enough time, so all customs began to be “compressed”, which is fundamentally wrong. Just like 9 days for the deceased, so 40 and a year must be spent strictly at the established time, because it is on these days that the fate of the soul of the deceased is decided, and it most needs support and protection.

There are many misconceptions and myths about the wake on the ninth day that have nothing to do with the Christian faith. Often, young people ask a question to the older generation, in the hope that they probably know the rules for holding a wake, although they, in turn, may miss a lot. This is how misconceptions and “grandmother’s advice” are born, which greatly alienate the true traditions from the invented ones. If a person does not know something, or doubts the correctness of the actions being taken, it is best to ask the clergy directly, and not a neighbor. Only in this way will everyone receive the correct and edifying answer and conduct the wake according to all the rules.

Here we will describe how to properly conduct a wake for nine days, what needs to be prepared and what prayers are read for the deceased during this period

Why do funerals take place on the 9th day?

It is believed that the rank of nine angels falls on the 9th day. It is they, together with the soul of the deceased, who ask the throne of the Lord for mercy and leniency towards the sinful soul of man. If it is possible to appease the Lord, then the soul remains in heaven without going through the ordeal in hell, which lasts until the fortieth day. If the soul was not righteous, it is sent to hell to undergo trials.

If the soul can go through all the circles of hell without obstacles, then it will again appear before the Throne, and will remain in heaven, offering prayers of thanks and praise to the Lord. It is also believed that the soul, which, through the prayers of its neighbors on earth, has gone to heaven, in turn offers prayers to God for its relatives on earth. She can also appear during difficult periods of life and warn relatives and friends about danger.

Why are the dead remembered on the 9th day?

Rules of conduct during funerals

How to behave during a funeral meal:

remember the good deeds that the deceased did during his lifetime;
in moments specially designated for general prayer, pray together with those present;
you cannot cry, grieve, show your pain and sorrow - this is one of the mortal sins in Orthodoxy, meaning denial of faith;
You cannot talk loudly, laugh, it is advisable to turn off or switch to silent mode mobile phones;
in case of incorrect actions of any of those present, it is necessary to remind the person about the proper manner of behavior and how the wake is held on the 9th day after the repose: all thoughts must be concentrated on the person whose memory is dear;
Moderation should be observed during the meal, starting with traditional funeral treats.

What rules must be followed for holding a wake on day 9?

In the Christian world there are a number of rules that were established by our forefathers and described in detail in religious literature. These rules must be strictly observed and ensured that they are carried out without changes:

It is necessary to create an appropriate atmosphere in the place where the funeral dinner is planned. You also need to monitor this at home. As a rule, a glass of water and a slice of bread are placed in home walls. Also, a lamp is lit in front of the photograph of the deceased. But you can also light a lamp in front of an icon. In churches, relatives and friends of the deceased order a memorial prayer service, light candles in specially designated places for the repose and read a prayer for the acceptance of the soul of the deceased to the Lord God;
9 days is not a dinner party, so no one is specifically invited to this wake. Most often, relatives, close friends and colleagues of the deceased gather. It is worth remembering that for these particular commemorations, everyone should ask where and when they will take place;
Women should wear scarves on their heads to cover their hair, which should not escape from under the scarf. Men, on the contrary, must free their heads from any clothing and sit at the table with their heads uncovered;
The question is often asked: what should you bring to a funeral for 9 days? Most often these are flowers that need to be placed on the grave of the deceased. It is necessary to put red wine on the table, because this is how the deceased are remembered, as well as sweets and cookies;
Various compotes, kutya and other porridge must be present on the table. You can also often see that those dishes that the deceased loved during his lifetime are often placed on the funeral table or placed on an empty plate. Each region may have its own customs and traditions of the funeral table for 9 days, but everyone should have the same basis;
It is necessary to remember the deceased with red wine and most often this is three glasses. During such a period, the presence of strong alcoholic drinks on the table is unacceptable. Also, you should not “stay too long” at the table, so as not to turn the funeral dinner into a feast.
If the funeral meal falls during fasting, then it is necessary to completely eliminate all meat dishes, replacing them with fish and lighter snacks. At the same time, compote and kutya remain unchanged on the funeral table;
At the funeral table you need not just to dine, but also to remember (remember) the person, telling some moments of the deceased, remembering his positive sides and, on the good side, telling about him to those who may not have been so familiar with the deceased. Most often, at such moments, certain truths are revealed that prompt soul-saving thoughts among those gathered.

Rules of conduct for 40 days

To understand the importance of rules of behavior, you need to find out why 9 days after death are celebrated, as well as other important dates. Prayers, kind, selfless deeds, alms and correct behavior during mourning - all this helps the soul of the deceased to overcome ordeals and be cleansed of sins, since the disembodied spirit does not have the opportunity to ask for itself in the next world.

Mourning etiquette

Many traditions are based on the customs of our Slavic ancestor, later - representatives of the monarchy, the nobility. Basic rules for conducting funerals and memorials properly:

you should behave with restraint, loud conversation is not encouraged;
Quarrels, jokes, fights are unacceptable;
You cannot rearrange anything in the house of the deceased at your own discretion;
It is forbidden to put anything in the coffin (as a keepsake, etc.);
it is necessary to show concern towards the relatives of the deceased;
It is not recommended to listen to music loudly;
you should offer your help, since relatives cannot carry the coffin and perform other manipulations with the body of the deceased.

It has long been customary to stay at home during the entire period of mourning, and men did not cut their hair. Today, many traditions have been abolished, but some people continue to consider them necessary, for example, they do not cut their hair or shave until the fortieth day after the death of a loved one.

What not to do in the house of the deceased

According to ancient knowledge, it is believed that the soul of the deceased visits his home for the first 3 days. To prevent her from experiencing pain, it is not recommended to violate the basic prohibitions:

You can’t rearrange the furniture; the one who gives it away before the 40th day also does poorly;
Orthodoxy does not welcome when they say the phrase “may the earth rest in peace,” since it refers to the comfort of the body, but not the soul;
the lid of the coffin is not nailed down in the house; there is a belief that there will be another death;
the house of the deceased is not cleaned until the coffin is taken out;
You should not take the deceased’s things for yourself, move them, give them away, and it is also not recommended to sleep on the bed of the deceased.

It is not recommended to sleep in the bed of a deceased person

How to pray and remember correctly in church and at home

In order not to miss the right day (3, 9 or 40 from the moment of death), you should understand how 9 days are counted. A simple and, most importantly, correct calculation will help you say your prayers on time, when your soul needs it most. Tips to avoid inaccuracies or mistakes when performing rituals in church and at home:

for the repose they place a candle in a certain place, you can check with the assistants in the temple (eve table, on it there is a rectangular candlestick);
if there is no icon of the “Crucifixion of the Lord” in the temple, you can put a candle next to any other one;
one should cross himself twice before the holy face;
the candle must stand firmly on the candlestick;
they say the phrase “Rest, O Lord, the soul of your departed servant” (they call the name of the deceased).

What needs to be prepared for the funeral table within 9 days?

A standard menu for a nine-day funeral might look like this:

Kissel, kutya, kanun (can also be called kolovo);
Pancakes with different fillings, most often cottage cheese, poppy seeds and apples, sometimes liver;
Sandwiches with sprats and other cold fish appetizers;
Sweet pies (most often with poppy seed or apple filling);
There must be at least one hot dish, for example borscht with poultry;
Porridge, roast;
Cutlets and cabbage rolls;
Salads, especially vegetable ones (vinaigrette, Korean carrots, etc.);
Stuffed peppers;
Boiled potatoes with mushrooms;
Kvass and compote;
Cookies and sweets that people themselves brought to the funeral dinner are also served on the table.

It is customary to prepare those dishes that the deceased loved during his lifetime. This is also a kind of reference to the deceased. If you are fasting for 9 days, you need to replace all meat dishes with their fish counterparts, and cabbage rolls can be made vegetable by replacing meat with mushrooms.

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It is very important on this day to give out alms and feed the needy, and you need to ask to remember the deceased.

What prayers should be read at the funeral for 9 days

On the day of death and before burial in the house, the entire psalter and certain prayers are usually read in front of the icon. Only the person who has received a blessing from the priest can read them. If there is no such person, you should read the prayer rule in front of the icon and ask for God’s blessing yourself.

On the ninth day, prayers are also read, which can be said both in church and within home walls near the icons. If the funeral dinner was scheduled in a cafe, as is often the case now, it is worth reading special prayers for the deceased before the funeral meal and only after that proceeding to dinner.

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What does nine mean in the Orthodox faith?

The third day is the beginning of the afterlife journey, the fortieth is the end, and the ninth is a special stage of the posthumous journey. The number nine has a symbolic meaning and is associated with nine angels who escort the soul of the deceased to the gates of heaven, where it contemplates heavenly life. They also protect the spirit of a deceased person at the Last Judgment and ask for God's mercy. On the ninth day, the soul appears before the Almighty, and he sends it to ordeal in the underworld. From the ninth to the fortieth day the soul goes through ordeals.

On the ninth day, the deceased forgets about earthly sadness and physical pain. Sinners begin to experience repentance. That is why prayers, services, and remembrances serve as a great help in the transition of a deceased person to another world.

Some people make mistakes in calculating the ninth day, counting from the day of burial. The correct day would be the ninth day including the date of death, the new day begins after 24:00 hours. Therefore, if a person died on the 2nd, then you should commemorate and go to the cemetery on the 10th, but not on the 11th.

Features of preparing a Lenten lunch

In Orthodoxy there are 4 main fasts, which are observed in different seasons of the year. Individual days that fall on every Friday and Wednesday are also taken into account. Vegetable dishes are prepared for the Exaltation of the Holy Cross, Nomad Day, and the Beheading of John the Baptist. Features of cooking food during different fasts:

Great. Held in the spring before Easter, lasts 7 weeks. In weeks 1, 4, 7, strict rules apply and any fast food is prohibited. Only the family of the deceased is invited to say goodbye to the deceased at this time. On Wednesday and Friday you are allowed to eat butter. You can try the fish on the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary and Palm Sunday. On weekends and patron saint holidays, you can cook with butter.
Petrov. Held in summer, lasts 6-8 weeks. On weekends and holidays you can bake, fry, and boil fish. On Thursday and Friday you are allowed to enjoy butter.
Uspensky. It is forbidden to eat fast food for 2 weeks at the end of August. Fish is served at the Transfiguration of the Lord.
Christmas. On weekends and holidays (except Friday and Wednesday), fish is prepared. Oil cannot be used in preparing treats on the 1st, 3rd and 5th day of the week.