How many times can you be a godparent in Orthodoxy?

Superstitions

Often, when choosing future godparents, mom and dad ask themselves the question: is it possible for an unmarried girl to baptize her first girl? This is due to folk signs and superstitions, which have nothing to do with Orthodox teaching. For some reason, it is generally accepted that an unmarried godmother gives her happiness to her goddaughter. These are, in Russian, “grandmother's tales.” “According to your faith, be it done to you” - this is the correct attitude towards all signs and superstitions. “If you don’t believe, it won’t come true,” said the holy Venerable Seraphim of Sarov about bad omens. If a girl believes with all her soul that she and her goddaughter find common happiness during the Sacrament, then that’s exactly what will happen. You can say to yourself out of spite: “In this way I call on God’s blessing for my own happy marriage and motherhood.” And, believe me, this is exactly what will come true if you truly believe. So, is it possible for unmarried girls to baptize girls? It is possible and necessary if you approach your future title responsibly.

Folk signs

In addition to the words of the clergy, people have many signs and superstitions associated with baptism, saying who should not become a spiritual mentor. According to beliefs, pregnant women should abandon this idea, as they risk losing the child by giving part of their vital energy to their godson.

Unmarried men cannot baptize a boy, and unmarried women cannot baptize a girl: they will take away the baby’s happiness, and he will repeat the lonely fate of one of his godfathers.

People say that widows and widowers are also not the best options, because they can pass on their misfortune to their godson. It is a bad omen if the spiritual parent’s previous godson died: the current one will repeat his fate.

Of course, all this is just superstition. They have no church justification or confirmation.

Is it possible to baptize a child without a godmother?

You know, here we are all accustomed to relying on some customs invented by people. But no one pays attention to the Bible. Read in the Gospels how Christ himself was baptized. I don’t remember something, but it was said about the godmother. There's not a word about it there. Also, read the Acts of the Apostles, when everyone was baptized in the Holy Spirit, is there any mention of a godmother or even a father? The only godfather a Christian should have is Christ. All other things are not from Christ. By the way, all this is converted from pagan beliefs. This is not Christian, including godfathers and mothers. Now, I can even go and be baptized, and there will be no godmother or father. I was baptized in childhood, but consider that I was not baptized, since no one asked my permission for this. In general, a person must be baptized precisely of his own free will and in consciousness. And when a child is baptized against his will, he still does not understand anything, we can assume that he was not baptized. God gave each of us the right to choose, but no one asked the child whether he wanted to be baptized or not. What they say is that if a child is not baptized, then in case of death he will not be joined to God, and will automatically go to hell, this is the same nonsense as the fact that there are little green men on Mars, or that there are golden valley (Eldorado). Here you can think logically: how can a child who has not yet committed any sin end up in hell? In order to punish, you must have a pretext for this, because they punish for actions, and not just like that. God's concept of justice is completely different from that of humans. Therefore, one should conclude: it is possible to baptize a child, both without a godfather and without a godmother. Yes, and an interesting fact: I don’t remember from the Bible that a child’s hair must be cut with a cross. This is again from paganism. After all, in paganism they worshiped stones and natural phenomena, making imaginary images from stones and wood. So everything switched to crosses and icons. God always knows who is worth what, and will never think bad things about a person if the person had none of this on his mind. The Lord sees all our hearts, He even knows what we are just about to think about. Therefore, I will say this: if it is not possible to baptize a child with a godmother, you can do this without her. In general, if it’s good, then let the child grow up and decide for himself whether to be baptized or remain unbaptized. It is his right to make his choice. I would do the same with my child, because I don’t believe in pagan nonsense. And at least I have no doubt that this is nonsense. For me, the Lord Christ is more valuable than the blood of my pagan ancestors. One more thing: a child’s guardian angel already appears from the beginning of his conception in the womb. Again, the pagan idea of ​​God is about defenselessness, that only when some ritual is performed will a guardian angel appear. 2

Godparents: who can be a godparent?

Godparents: who can become a godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? The answers are in the article!

God-parents

Briefly:

• The godfather, or godfather, must be an Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because the main duty of a godfather is to help the child grow up in the Orthodox faith.
• The godfather must be a church person, ready to regularly take the godson to church and monitor his Christian upbringing.
• After baptism has been performed, the godson cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed greatly for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
• Pregnant and unmarried women CAN be godparents of both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
• The father and mother of a child cannot be godparents, and a husband and wife cannot be godparents for the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Many of us were baptized in infancy and no longer remember how it happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or perhaps even more joyfully - our own child is born. Then we think once again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents to someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.

Answers from Rev. Maxim Kozlov on questions about the responsibilities of godparents from the “Tatiana’s Day” website.

– I was invited to become godfather. What will I have to do?

– Being a godfather is both an honor and responsibility.

Godmothers and fathers, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Godparents, of course, should be a person who also has some experience of church life and will help the parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.

During the celebration of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism here.

The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes an obligation is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help the one received from the font to grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity only to the fact of Baptism. According to the teachings of the Church, for the way we took care of fulfilling these duties, we will be held accountable on the day of the last judgment, just as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very great.

– What should I give to my godson?

– Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, and it doesn’t matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross be of the traditional form accepted in the Orthodox Church.

In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - a silver spoon, which was called a “tooth gift”; it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he began to eat from a spoon.

– How can I choose godparents for my child?

– Firstly, godparents must be baptized, church-going Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of godfather or godmother is whether this person will subsequently be able to help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not just in practical circumstances. And, of course, an important criterion should be the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child’s church teachers or not.

– Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

– If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?

– Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godparents, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, agreed to be considered the godparents of a particular baby. If we are talking about a similar situation, do so, but if not, then it is perhaps better to proceed from generally accepted practice.

– Who can’t be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on - cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends the child’s parents are and no matter how pleasant people they are to talk to.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are confident in the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian denomination: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become adoptive parents.

– Which relative can be godfather?

– An aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather can become the adoptive parents of their little relatives. You just need to remember that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it’s worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child and help us raise him. In this case, aren’t we depriving the little person of love and care, because he could have one or two more adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important during the period when the child seeks authority outside the family. At this time, the godfather, without in any way opposing himself to the parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his loved ones.

– Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or baptize a child for the purpose of normal upbringing in the faith?

– In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either godparents, or his natural parents, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling away into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, atheism, a blatantly ungodly way of life - essentially speaks of that the person failed to fulfill his responsibility as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered dissolved by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another church-going pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to take care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.

“I was invited to be the girl’s godmother, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first.” Is it so?

– The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by.

– They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?

– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who received a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will affect her fate some kind of imprint.

On the other hand, one can see a certain kind of sobriety in this opinion, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, and who have something to share with the baby’s physical parents, are chosen as godparents for the baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

– Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, whether you will have time to care for him, to advise the baby’s parents, to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, but in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

“I recently got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even got into an argument. She argued that godparents, like father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I don’t agree: a mother is a mother, whoever she allows to interfere in the child’s upbringing. I also once had a godson when I was young, but our paths diverged long ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? I can’t believe it..."

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths veered in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. I couldn’t even remember their names; I was baptized a long time ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrugged their shoulders, they said that people lived next door at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.

Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember?

To be honest, for me this circumstance was never a flaw, I grew up and grew up without godparents. No, I was lying, it happened once, I was jealous. A school friend was getting married and received a gossamer-thin gold chain as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it to us, she boasted, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I became jealous. If I had a godmother, maybe I would too... Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have fled from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, they pass him from hand to hand, go out with him, distract him so that he does not cry. They are waiting for the christening. They look at their watches and get nervous.

Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get their wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags of baptismal robes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, gawking at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the godfather’s face is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, became agitated, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance, but it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s entrance into God’s temple is a significant event. “When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:

- Do you wear a cross?

– Do you read prayers?

– Are you reading the Gospel?

– Do you honor church holidays?

And the godparents will begin to mutter something incomprehensible and lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly reassure you and remind you of the duty of godfathers and mothers, and of Christian duty in general. The godparents will hastily and willingly nod their heads, humbly accept the conviction of sin, and either from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into the heart the main thought of the priest: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now and forever. And whoever remembers will most likely misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to contribute what he can to the well-being of his godson.

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, solid bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older, a luxurious set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.

We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it. Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”

The Church calls its recipients with serious words – “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents must know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized. One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.

– Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.

“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, and everyone standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light, dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on, your life will be filled with special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you will now have to answer before God.

At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl needs only a godmother, a boy only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here you need to know very specific rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... The baby's baptism is behind us. He has a big life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson to ascend to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own natural children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this edifyingly, they say, you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child so that you can do without me... In general, the spiritual education of a child is only possible in case if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. The responsibilities of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.

This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which of them will be able to become a truly kind assistant in education, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.

If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the Epiphany font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there and pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of the godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune.

This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and towns, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious and not an accidental matter in life. You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, busy, not very much a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Easier - yes. But more honestly...

Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly approached to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I do not owe anything to my own child. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience, the voice of God, itches and itches.

Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing? It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my childhood friend’s daughter was a big and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents pass ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then a tall and handsome man stood up. He stood up somehow very businesslike. He raised his glass:

– I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...

Everyone became quiet. Everyone listened to the words about how the young people should live long, in harmony, with many children, and most importantly, with the Lord. “Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulka, and from under her luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.

Thank you godfather, I thought too. Thank you for carrying love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding candle. Thank you for reminding us all of what we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How much - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.

Source: N.E. Sukhinina. Show me the region where there is light from the lamps.

www.pravmir.ru

If you baptized a child together, you cannot marry

Is it possible for an unmarried girl to baptize a child? The girl is baptized by the godmother, the boy by the godfather. But at the same time, for a girl, both the father and the mother are often invited. Here an important condition arises, which can become an obstacle to the choice of a particular person for the role of godmother or godfather. It seems very sweet when a future couple seals their feelings by baptizing their baby together. This is what people who are ignorant of church canons often do. The fact is that the godparents, when performing the Sacrament, enter into a spiritual relationship. This is the obstacle. If the couple subsequently wishes to get married, they will be refused. It is forbidden to perform the Sacrament of Wedding on people who are in such a relationship, that is, who are the spiritual parents of the same baby.

Nowadays, such stories also happen: mom and dad get divorced, then dad wants to marry his godfather. Such marriages are also not blessed. Answer to the question: “Can unmarried girls have girls baptized?” next: it is possible if the girl is going to become a nun, has simply taken a vow of celibacy, and also if the godfather does not take part in the baptism or is not her likely groom.

Can a husband and wife be godparents to the same children?

If suitable godparents are not found, then it is better to baptize the baby without them. The Orthodox Church allows this, or you can find one, but a believer, reliable person who is ready to take the child under his spiritual care. Previously, adoptive parents adopted a spiritual child if suddenly the child was left without parental care.

When preparing for the christening of a child, it is useful for parents to know the answer to the question: can a husband and wife be godparents for one child. The sacrament of Baptism is performed once in a lifetime. Each church sacrament should be approached consciously. Determining the child’s recipients should have a positive impact on his life, because Baptism is not a tradition, not a fashion, not a ritual - it is a choice of a spiritual path.

Who does the ban apply to?

The following people cannot be godparents:

• girls under 14 years of age and boys under 15 years of age;
• monks and nuns;
• people with mental illnesses;
• married women and men;
• the child's parents;
• Catholics, Muslims, atheists.

By the way, the Church does not allow godfathers to marry. Only an Orthodox Christian can be a godfather. He must be ready to constantly take his godson to church and observe his Christian upbringing.

It is impossible to change the godfather after the sacrament of Baptism has been completed. But if he has changed significantly for the worse, the godson’s family and the godson himself should pray for him.

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Is it possible for a husband and wife of one child to be godparents?

• He always prays for his godson and, as he grows up, accustoms him to prayer;
• take care of regular communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ;
• Teach the basics of the Orthodox faith and introduce them to church life;
• Responsibility for the upbringing and decent life of the child in the event of the death of the parents.

According to the faith of the recipients, the baby is baptized. Their sacred duty is to teach children the true faith

“nothing can so much arouse paternal love and establish such a legitimate obstacle to marriage as this union, through which, through God’s mediation, their (i.e., the recipient and the received) souls are united.”

What does it mean to be a godmother?

“You can’t baptize the first girl for an unmarried girl!” - the folk sign categorically declares. Answer: it doesn’t matter what gender the child is, whether he is the first or the tenth. It is important to take the upcoming Sacrament responsibly. The baby does not yet and cannot have his own faith; the baby is baptized according to the faith of his or her successor. The girl gives God her word that she will bring this baby to Him. The spiritual mother becomes the guardian of faith and piety for the goddaughter. At the Last Judgment, godparents will answer for the sins of their godchildren, for the fact that they spent their lives outside the Church, outside the faith of Christ. That is, if the girl herself does not really believe or knows that the parents of the future goddaughter will not raise her in the Orthodox faith, it is better to refuse the offered role. You can baptize the daughter of unbelieving parents, provided that the godmother has the opportunity to take an active part in her upbringing, for example, a governess or a very close relative. A clear example: a believing girl baptizes a baby from the orphanage where she works, firmly knowing that raising her goddaughter will fall on her shoulders at least for the next few years. But in no case should children be baptized by people who are atheists, people of other faiths (Muslims, Buddhists, etc.) or unchurched (those who do not attend church services more often than once every few months and do not receive communion at least once a year ).

What does the Catholic Church say?

A newborn baby must appear before God immediately after birth, be cleansed of original sin, and unite with the church. This is how any religion argues and calls for baptisms to be carried out at an early age. The process of carrying out the ritual is the same almost everywhere: the baby is washed with water from the font in the temple, the liturgy is read, and at the end a cross is put on. The only difference is the requirements that allow or prohibit believers from taking certain steps. The Catholic Church differs from the Orthodox Church on many issues, and the rite of the sacrament of baptism was no exception.

It all starts with the parents coming to the church a couple of weeks in advance to discuss with the priest (priest of the Catholic Church) all the issues related to preparation for the ceremony, setting a date, and agreeing with who will baptize the child. Godparents in the Catholic faith are endowed with important powers in the child’s life, which include the responsibility to take him to Sunday school and prepare him for religious rites (community, confirmation). The approach to choosing godparents is doubly complex here and is an important task for any believer.

In addition to the awareness and high responsibility of godparents, the Catholic faith has its own rules for choosing a spiritual father and mother. According to the requirements of the church, only people who:

• They believe and practice Catholicism.
• They do not have any family ties with the baby.
• Have reached your 16th birthday. If the reasons are compelling, the abbot may make an exception.
• Catholics by religion who have undergone the sacrament of First Communion and confirmation (confirmation). This is a ritual of anointing, which is performed in adulthood. This is how Catholics confirm that they accepted the faith consciously.
• They are not the child's parents.
• They are husband and wife.

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Nuances

What is conscience, faith, mercy, patience, selfless love, how to understand the boundaries between evil and good: at every meeting, spiritual parents should tell the godson about all this. This is the most important gift!

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It is difficult to accept and understand this postulate. It’s customary for us to bring toys, money to the godson’s house, and spend time with the baby idly. This is good, of course. But people often forget that godparents are, first of all, spiritual guides.

A child can only be baptized once. You cannot re-baptize your baby, no matter what happens!

How to prepare

About how to properly prepare a future godmother for the Sacrament of Baptism, it is best to ask the priest who will perform this Sacrament. In most churches, special conversations are held on how to prepare yourself and prepare a child for parents and future adoptees. If there is no such opportunity in the church where the Baptism will take place, and the priest for some reason could not devote time to the future godparents, then you can purchase the appropriate literature. In any case, it is advisable for the godmother to receive communion on the day of the Sacrament or the day before, having made the necessary preparations beforehand. It’s good if you manage to find time to read the Gospel during the week before baptism. Be sure to throughout the week before and during the Sacrament itself, you must pray with all your heart to God and the Mother of God for blessings for yourself and your goddaughter, and ask for help in fulfilling your obligations. Is it possible for unmarried girls to have girls baptized? Any girl or woman who seriously, responsibly, and with reverence approaches her role in the Sacrament and the entire future life of the child can baptize a girl.

Difficult choice

To choose a girl for the role of godmother, you can contact an ordained priest or simply an experienced priest. Most often, a week before the christening, the priests talk about the sacrament itself, what things need to be purchased, and about the important role and mission that the chosen new parents bear. In the end, the most important thing when choosing a godmother is not the question of her status in society, but the topic of religion. It is important that the godmother is a believer and baptized.

The godmother is obliged to buy an icon of the saint with the girl’s name and a special fabric called kryzhma. The best kryzhma would be a completely new white cloth, symbolizing the purity of the little girl. It is believed that in the future the baby’s mother will carefully store this fabric and not show it to anyone.

A child can be baptized after 8 days from birth, but it is important to consider that a woman who has given birth cannot enter the temple for 40 days from birth.

What should godparents have during a christening?

After the future godparents have been identified, the child must choose a church name, christening date and church. Usually children in church are baptized on Saturdays, but this can be done on any other day; fasting also does not prevent baptism from taking place.

Before baptism, the godparents come for the godson and “take” him. Before this, they should not sit down in the godson’s house. Everyone goes to church together: parents with the baby and godparents.

Before the baptismal ceremony, godparents buy things for the baby, a list of which is usually given in the church:

1. a traditionally shaped pectoral cross – bought by the godfather;
2. an icon, preferably (but not necessarily) of the saint whose name the child will be baptized - bought by the godmother;
3. The godmother also buys kryzhma - the material necessary for the sacrament, maybe with decorations, but more often ordinary white fabric;
4. a baptismal shirt, and for the girl a scarf or cap - it is not necessary to buy, you can replace it with a clean vest and scarf from your existing wardrobe.

There are no special requirements for the appearance of godparents during christenings; the usual rules for visiting church are followed. Both godparents must wear crosses, the man without a headdress, and the woman with a covered head, covered shoulders and elbows, and a skirt or dress below the knees.

Beliefs

But still, there are many terrible legends among the people that if the godmother did not have time to get married before the ceremony, she will give her family happiness to the child, and she herself will not become a happy wife. Allegedly, this is why it is necessary to invite a married woman who already has a wonderful life and has her own family. One way or another, all these are just superstitions, and it’s up to the parents to choose who will be the godmother; the main thing is to approach the issue seriously. It is important that the person intended for the role is kind, believes in the Lord, and treats the new role with all the responsibility entrusted to him. The godmother is the second mother of the child, who throughout his future life will help and support him in all matters and endeavors.

Who can you safely choose as godparents?

The applicant must be a baptized, deeply religious, Orthodox, spiritually developed person. He goes to church on Sundays (or at least on holidays), fasts, consults with the priest, confesses, and observes Orthodox canons. He must pass on his knowledge to the new Christian.

Absolutely all adult relatives of the baby can participate in the baptismal ceremony, but only one of the pair, since there cannot be a sexual relationship between both godfathers, for example, aunt - godfather, grandfather - godfather. Older sisters, brothers, and their godparents are also not prohibited from becoming spiritual mentors. Contrary to superstitions, the church allows childless girls and pregnant women to be child adopters.

By the way, a boy can only have a godfather, but a girl, on the contrary, must have a spiritual mother.

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