Wedding is a church sacrament
Is it possible to get married without witnesses? Before you find out the answer to this question, you should understand the meaning of a wedding. This is not just a beautiful ceremony, but one of the seven Church Sacraments along with Baptism, Confession, Communion and others. All these are especially significant sacred rites, in which the Lord Himself participates invisibly to us.
In the Church Sacraments, believers are given Divine saving power - grace. It deeply affects a person, sanctifies and heals his soul and body. All Sacraments were established not by man, but by God. They are inseparable from the Holy Church. Archpriest Georgy Florovsky notes that it is through the Sacraments that the Christian community becomes the Church.
Is it possible to get married without witnesses?
The crown above the bride is held by a woman, above the groom - by a man.
There are no strict rules about who should hold the crowns over the heads of the newlyweds.
The established tradition is that the bride is held by a woman, a friend. And to the groom, a man, a comrade, a friend.
But it is necessary to keep it all the time while the wedding is taking place. You cannot lower the crown; the hand holding the crown can be changed. Because holding the crown at arm's length for forty minutes will not be easy for anyone.
But what about the crowns if the wedding takes place without witnesses? It's actually simple. In this case, the crowns are simply put on the head.
In this photo, the newlyweds have no witnesses, so they put the crowns on their heads
As you can see in the photo, the wedding ceremony takes place exactly the same if there were witnesses here.
The meaning of the Sacrament of Wedding
Man and woman were created by the Almighty for connection, harmonious complementarity and joint improvement:
“A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife; and the two will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).
During the wedding, the marriage union of a man and a woman is sanctified by God and the Holy Church. The relationship between spouses takes on a higher spiritual dimension and becomes a step on the path of approaching the Lord. Thus, the Sacrament does not replace marriage, but complements it.
The Church does not consider an unmarried, registered marriage to be fornication. However, Orthodoxy calls all Orthodox Christians to sanctify their marital relationships. Archpriest Pavel Velikanov notes:
“Without a church blessing, it will not be easy for Christians to build their marital relationships so that they become a ladder to the Kingdom of Heaven.”
The grace received at the wedding spiritually transforms sincerely believing newlyweds and helps them build a family. However, the Sacrament itself does not guarantee “automatic” family well-being. Husband and wife must make their own efforts to build family relationships. That is, they need to strive in practice to live like a Christian. Venerable Paisius the Svyatogorets teaches:
“Spouses should, as far as possible, cultivate the virtue of love, so that the two are always united as one and so that the Third, our Sweetest Christ, dwells with them” (Words, volume 4).
Is it permissible to perform the sacrament over
Unbaptized
People who have not been baptized are not members of the Church, and therefore do not have the right to participate in the Sacraments, including getting married.
Godfathers
A marriage union between a child's godfather and his natural father or mother is expressly prohibited. But about the possibility of creating a family between two godparents of one child, opinions differ. Article 11 of the Nomocanon prohibits such marriages. In 1730, the reliability of this clause was questioned due to the unknown author of this rule. And in 1837, the Holy Synod issued a Decree stating that the creation of a family between godparents takes place.
There is still no consensus on this issue. Such issues are resolved by the ruling bishop on an individual basis.
Catholic and Orthodox
A Catholic and an Orthodox woman can marry each other if two conditions are met:
- The sacrament will be performed by an Orthodox priest and in an Orthodox church.
- The couple will raise their children in Orthodoxy.
Preparation for the wedding
It is necessary to decide in advance on the date of the wedding, since it does not take place on certain days. You cannot get married, for example, during the fasting period. After all, after the wedding comes the wedding night, and the Church calls for abstaining from carnal relations on fasting days. For the same reason, weddings are not performed on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The wedding night in such cases falls on the beginning of the fast day of Wednesday and Friday.
On the eve of great church holidays and Sundays (on Sat) they do not get married. This is necessary so that the wedding night does not coincide with the beginning of the holiday. This time should be devoted to God, and not to marital relationships. You can find out the appropriate date for performing the Sacrament using the wedding calendar. It can be easily found on Orthodox websites on the Internet.
On the eve of the wedding, the priest holds a conversation with the newlyweds. He finds out if there are any obstacles to a church marriage, explains the meaning of the Sacrament and helps prepare for it. The Church does not marry close relatives, unbaptized people, atheists (including baptized ones), people of other faiths and persons in the clergy. Also, church marriage is not concluded with those who have already been married twice or are in another marriage.
Before the wedding, newlyweds need to take part in the Sacraments of Confession and Communion in order to enter family life clean. Preparation for the Sacrament also includes the purchase of wedding icons (the Savior and the Virgin Mary), candles and wedding rings.
Rules
Witnesses, like husband and wife, need to carefully prepare for the ceremony:
- take communion;
- confess;
- fast;
- on the eve of the Sacrament, renounce carnal pleasures.
At the ceremony itself, a woman must cover her head with a scarf or stole, and a man, on the contrary, must be without a headdress.
The bridesmaid should choose a chaste look, just like the bride. No miniskirts, provocative necklines, bare backs and shoulders, or overly tight outfits.
Friends should arrive at the temple a little earlier than the newlyweds and take their places. Be sure to turn off mobile phones so as not to be distracted by them. You cannot speak or laugh loudly; you must behave modestly in the cathedral. Do not stand with your back to the iconostasis.
On such a day, they pray only for the health of the newlyweds; if you want to light a candle for the health of your relatives or the repose of your family, then you should choose another day for this.
Do not sit on the benches in the church, because according to Orthodox canons it is customary to stand in this sacred place during services and Sacraments. Only pregnant, sick and infirm people can use the benches.
How betrothal and wedding are performed
A wedding in Orthodoxy is usually preceded by a betrothal ceremony. This is a solemn mutual promise given before God to the newlyweds to become spouses. The priest prayerfully blesses the bride and groom three times and gives them lighted candles - a symbol of chastity and God's grace. The young people, in turn, make the sign of the cross three times. The priest says a secret prayer and gives the future spouses wedding rings, which they must exchange three times.
The wedding begins with the censing of everyone present in the temple. After this, the bride and groom stand in the middle of the temple and give their consent to the priest to get married. This is followed by litanies and special prayers for the blessing of the marriage. The bride and groom kiss and put on crowns - symbols of spiritual purity over carnal lust. Most often, witnesses at weddings hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. The priest blesses the couple. Then the Gospel of John is read (an excerpt about the miracle performed by Christ at the wedding in Cana of Galilee) and the litany, and the “Our Father” is sung. A cup of wine is blessed, from which the newlyweds take three sips.
The priest connects and covers the right hands of the newlyweds with the stole. He places his hand on top, which symbolizes the husband receiving his wife from the Church itself and their union in Christ. The priest sings troparia, circling the couple three times around the lectern. The newlyweds' crowns are removed, the priest's parting words are spoken, and prayers are read. The spouses approach the royal doors and alternately kiss the icons of the Savior and the Mother of God. Then they kiss the cross and accept the wedding icons from the hands of the priest.
Dress code
The wedding ceremony requires an appropriate appearance not only from the bride and groom, but also from their successors. When it comes to bridesmaid attire, it definitely can't be pants. The witness's clothing should be modest. Skirts and dresses above the knee are not allowed. Shoulders and neckline should be covered with a cape or poncho.
Important! Witnesses must wear a cross. As a last resort, wear it during the ceremony.
A headdress is required for the witness, as well as for other women present. The successor should also pay attention to the color of the dress. It should not match the color of the bride's wedding dress. The best attire for a witness is a solid suit or shirt and trousers, but black should be avoided. Males are not allowed to wear a headdress in the temple.
Are witnesses needed for a church wedding?
In the Russian Empire, weddings had legal force. For Orthodox Christians, only a married marriage was considered legal. There was no civil procedure for “signing up in the registry office,” as well as the registry offices themselves. In this regard, the question of whether it is possible to get married without witnesses was irrelevant. The wedding had to take place in the presence of guarantors (witnesses). To this day, in common parlance they are called groomsmen or best men. The Church used the term “receivers”. They left their signatures in the parish register and thereby testified that the marriage had taken place. Thus, witnesses played an important role in the Sacrament. They had to know the spouses well in order to vouch for them.
In our time, the Russian Orthodox Church is separated from the state. The newlyweds register their marriage in secular government institutions and only after that can they get married in a church. Therefore, the presence of witnesses is desirable, but no longer a strictly mandatory condition for concluding a church marriage. This is an established good tradition, but not a canonical rule.
On the eve of the wedding, everyone should partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ
Each of the newlyweds must confess and receive communion on the eve of the wedding. And also fast and read prayers.
A woman should look appropriate, preferably as modest as possible. She should be wearing a dress or skirt, preferably below the knee, with a scarf on top.
Men entering the temple must take off their hats. You should wear trousers and preferably a shirt.
Also an important point for women. You cannot enter the temple during critical days. Therefore, the wedding day must be calculated in advance so that it does not fall on these days.
Schedule your wedding for safer days. This also applies to the witness; she should also discuss this with the bride in advance.
In the temple you must behave quietly, not talk, listen to prayers and chants.
When the day and time of the wedding have been discussed, the newlyweds need to purchase wedding icons - the Most Holy Theotokos and Jesus Christ.
Wedding Icons of the Blessed Virgin Mary and Jesus Christ
Witnesses can also purchase them as a gift to the newlyweds.
Is it possible to get married without witnesses?
Witnesses at a wedding - who could be them? Today, witnesses perform a spiritual mentoring function. They pray for the young people and help them with advice. Therefore, it is best to invite already married, churched people to the role of successors. Archpriest Dionisy Svechnikov notes:
“Just as godparents, experienced in spiritual life, make every effort to educate and guide their godchildren in faith and piety, so godparents undertake an obligation before God to spiritually guide the family they are creating.”
If it is not possible to find adult and experienced witnesses, then you can invite believing unmarried friends and unmarried girlfriends of the newlyweds to play this role. Parents of future spouses can also be witnesses.
Is it possible to get married without witnesses? Weddings without witnesses are also allowed. However, different parishes may have their own specific traditions and rules. Therefore, this issue must be discussed in advance with the priest who will perform the Sacrament. There are exceptional situations when a couple is allowed to get married in secret. For example, if the relatives of one of the spouses are aggressively opposed to Christianity. In such cases, the absence of witnesses is a necessary measure.
What to gift
In the modern world, it is customary to give gifts for a wedding, as well as for a wedding ceremony in the registry office. It is most appropriate to present some religious items to the blessed family, for example:
- figurines of angels, which are a symbol of the union of two loving hearts and a talisman;
- icons;
- pendants with the Virgin and Child, Saint Matrona and so on;
- a good idea is to donate to the temple for the Sacrament, instead of spouses or in half.
From classic examples, as a gift you can give a photo album, a portrait of the newlyweds, a birthday cake with appropriate inscriptions, bed linen, dishes, silver cups with names and the date of the ceremony, and so on.
Wedding marriage is a rather important step in the life of every person. It should be taken thoughtfully, carefully and without haste. It must be taken into account that the mission of witnesses, although important, has recently become more symbolic, and the most important responsibility lies in any case on the shoulders of lovers who have decided to enter into an alliance before God.
Prayers for a happy marriage
Prayer of the spouses at the wedding
Lord our God, in Thy saving sight, Who was worthy to show honorable marriage to Galileo in Cana by Thy coming, Now Thy servants (names) Thou hast deigned to unite with each other, in peace and unanimity; Show them an honest marriage, observe their undefiled bed, bless their immaculate cohabitation and achieve the virtues of old age, doing Your commandments with a pure heart. For You are our God, the God of mercy and salvation, and we send up glory to You, with Your Originless Father, Your All-Holy and Good and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer to the Mother of God for the family
“Don’t be afraid, little flock! “I am with you and no one else is with you.” Most Blessed Lady, take my family under Your protection. Instill in the hearts of my husband and our children peace, love and intransigence to all that is good; Do not allow anyone from my family to experience separation and difficult parting, to premature and sudden death without repentance. And save our house and all of us living in it from fiery ignition, thieves’ attacks, all evil circumstances, various types of insurance and diabolical obsession. Yes, and we, individually and separately, openly and secretly, will glorify Your Holy Name always, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
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Ritual features
Is it possible to have a wedding without witnesses and guests?
The presence or absence of guests, as well as witnesses, is not a reason to refuse the wedding.
Witnesses are guarantors for the family before God. By agreeing to hold the crowns, they make a promise to guide the young family in the spirit of faith.
Are there any restrictions on the color of the bride's dress?
White is the color of chastity. In general, it is customary to get married in a white dress. White is the color of chastity.
He says that the bride is keeping her virginity. It is clear that for a second wedding a white dress is inappropriate. It is recommended to choose other pastel colors. There are no rules regarding the color of the dress, but there are generally accepted standards. For example, it is not customary to get married in a red, blue or other bright dress.
Is it possible to get married with wedding rings?
The question is incorrect. The rings are blessed and worn only during the engagement. No additional wedding rings are required.
Is it possible to get married while pregnant?
You can get married at any stage of pregnancy. All restrictions on this matter are superstitions.
What are the age restrictions?
Weddings of persons under marriageable age are not permitted (18 years of age, with the bride being 16 years of age under special circumstances). As for the wedding of older people, you need to look at the situation. In general, the maximum age of the bride is 60 years. It’s not one thing if a woman over 60 wants to enter into a new union, but it’s another thing when a couple has lived their whole lives, and in their old age the spouses came to faith and decided to get married. In this case, it is a sin to refuse.
On what days can you not get married?
Weddings are prohibited on the following days:
- On the eve of Wednesday, Friday and Sunday (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday).
- On the eve of major church holidays. (Eve is the day before the holiday. If, for example, the Dormition of the Blessed Virgin Mary is celebrated on August 28, then the eve is August 27.)
- During four fasts.
- On Christmastide.
- On Maslenitsa (all week, including Sunday)
- On Bright Day (the week after Easter).
The Sacrament of Wedding is performed in order to bless and sanctify the family union. Therefore, it must be taken with the utmost seriousness.
