Child baptism in questions and answers

When to baptize a child?

From the point of view of the Orthodox Church, a child should be baptized when he turns 40 days after birth.

This is due, first of all, to the attitude of the church to the physiology of the postpartum period of the woman who gave birth, the mother of the child. After this period has expired, a special prayer must be read over it; this is done by the priest before or after baptism.

This waiting time is also considered appropriate, since it allows the baby to get a little stronger before the baptism ceremony.

By the way, up to three months, children can more easily tolerate head immersion because they retain intrauterine reflexes that help them hold their breath.

You can perform the Sacrament of Baptism at any age.

God-parents

A godparent is one who accepts responsibility before God for the spiritual education and piety of his godson, a spiritual parent in the Christian tradition.

It is not necessary that the child have two godparents, but this option is also allowed.
The godfather must be of the same sex as the child: for a girl - godmother, for a boy - godfather.
The godfather must be an Orthodox and church-going person.
Shortly before the Sacrament of Baptism, the godparent must confess and receive communion.
To become a godparent, you must first go through public conversations. The duration and content of public conversations in each church may have its own order. After completing the interviews, a certificate is issued stating that the person can be a godparent.

Who cannot be a godfather:

one of the child's parents;
monastic;
Godparents of one child cannot be a husband and wife or a couple preparing for a wedding;
unbaptized person;
mentally ill person;
a person who came to church drunk.

Different points of view of parents about the baptism of children

First of all, think about the fact that the baptism procedure is a mockery of a child. And secondly, you do not leave him the right to choose, without knowing the faith, he enters into it, you impose your position on an unintelligent creature. This is absurd. My position is that he will grow up and decide for himself. What if the Protestant canons will be closer to him??? 29.4.2003 ABOUT
Should he put on a hat and mittens in the cold, should he jump from the 20th floor, should he smoke marijuana - let him decide? What if he decides, out of ignorance, that the canons of SATANISTS will be closer to him? Or, for example, the Wahhabis... and he will consider it his duty to become a suicide bomber, blowing up several dozen people with him?... Inanna
Don’t confuse God’s gift with scrambled eggs, or are mittens and baptism the same thing for you??? Faith is a moral choice
, you know?
Which must be conscious. By the way, at the age of 20, for example, he will be able to decide for himself whether to wear mittens, as well as choose his faith. In my opinion, if they start smoking marijuana, it’s later. And believe me, dear mother, he will really decide this himself, without asking you. Just like he can jump from the 20th floor at the age of 16. And he won’t consult with you. 2) You should know that even those who were baptized in infancy become Satanists. This hasn't bothered anyone yet. And your duty as an educated person is to educate your child on the history of religions, both Orthodox, Catholic, Protestant, and (don’t fall) Muslim, and even Buddhist. This is an elementary outlook. If I understand correctly, at the moment you have decided, IGNORANTLY, due to his age, to impose the Orthodox religion on him for now. By the way, let me ask you a question: Why is the Protestant religion worse than the Orthodox religion? The question arose because you put it on a par with Satanism. FSB
I am perplexed by those parents who constantly decide for their child what he should eat and drink, what he should wear, what treatment he should take - but they withdraw themselves from the most important issues, from caring for his SOUL, and let him decide! I understand that Faith is a moral choice. And I bear the most direct responsibility before God and people for the choice that my child makes. And therefore I simply must do everything to ensure that this choice is the best. Maybe he won’t ask if he should smoke marijuana. But I will try to raise him so that he does not have such a need. By the way, for a Christian believer, a jump from the 20th floor is in principle impossible. Just like any other suicide. Mostly, those who become Satanists are those whose parents left the problem of “moral choice” to the discretion of an unintelligent child. Nobody said that Holy Baptism is a direct pass to heaven! If it is sometimes carried out “just like that”, perceived as an empty formality or a tribute to fashion, then the results turn out to be appropriate. My child, I hope he will know the basic principles of the most common religions much earlier and better than his peers! In reality, I decided to give him the most important and best thing that I can give him - true faith. Because this is exactly what he needs first of all for life and for salvation. I did not put the Protestant religion on a par with Satanism. And it is not at all a fact that this very “holy place” in your child’s soul will be occupied by Protestantism (it would be good, if so!), or even atheism mixed with a rather innocent agnosticism. Unfortunately, in this case, instead of Protestantism, there can be anything you want (as extensive practice shows) - even Fanlongong, even Moonism, even the pseudo-Christian sect “Family” (“sacred” prostitution, incest, pedophilia and other “cute” nuances that open suddenly and only after the naive and ignorant adherent is already head over heels in the sect and completely zombified :)… Inanna
Now I had the feeling that I had encountered a religious fanatic. On what basis do you conclude that Orthodoxy is the best choice? On what basis are you also sure that your child will be better off when you lure him into Orthodoxy? My duty as a parent is, among other things, to teach the child what is good and kind, to give him the best that I have, etc., which is direct concern for his soul. The ill-fated mittens are a concern for the physical safety of the child, as well as nutrition (by the way, my child always chooses from what is offered). Religion is a very important aspect in the life of humanity, and in the life of each individual person too, it’s like marriage, if you wish, i.e. one of the most important choices of a person! Let’s say, if I believe in the Christian God, then I will try to make sure that my child also believes in him and WANTS to be baptized, i.e. I made my own choice. The fact is that my attitude towards religion is extremely serious. And my great desire as a mother is that the child’s attitude would be at least approximately the same. You can help a child make a moral choice, and probably should. But infant baptism is not a moral choice. It's not a choice at all. I insist that the very FACT of baptism will not save your child from the possibility of becoming a Satanist absolutely on an equal basis with someone who has not been baptized. Your proper upbringing will save him. BUT NOT BAPTISM. You are not giving him true faith by baptizing him. You can give it, I repeat, only through proper education. My question regarding the “badness” of Protestantism, since we are already hooked on it, was based on the fact that in response to the exclamation “suddenly the Protestant canons will be closer to it,” you immediately began to talk nonsense about Satanism. So there is nothing to blame me for here. If you do not equate these two things, then answering the question about Protestantism with Satanism simply means that you did not read the question carefully, or you think that everything that is not Orthodoxy is a nightmare, a nightmare, a nightmare. You really put a lot of emphasis on all sorts of deviations like Satanism, Moonism, various sects, but I’m trying to talk with you about world religions. My parents didn’t raise me religiously (they didn’t impose faith, etc.), except through enlightenment, but I didn’t join Satanists or other vile associations, and moreover, I never even thought about it! At the age of 14, I made my own choice and was baptized. So it is not at all necessary to do this immediately after birth. Good choices can be made later. You are responsible for your child not to people, but to yourself and to him, well, if you want, to God as well. Your child, however, does not make a moral choice. You do this, and then he can re-choose. As for marijuana (don’t think so, I don’t use it) - many people try it without feeling the need for it, but just to try it. Draw your own conclusions. Children even in the most prosperous, religious families become drug addicts. And these same children can then jump from the 20th floor. Don't judge their parents. Don’t be sure that YOU personally will definitely see everything. As cases show, this does not always happen. Your parents were also confident, as you are now, that they would see everything in time, and then it instantly became too late. The position “well, they did everything wrong, but without a doubt I’m all right” - is this about you?.. The most important thing that we give a child is LOVE and respect, and not faith. It is your love, first of all, that he needs for a decent life. But for now he has nothing to save himself from, I hope. FSB
Since when did people who want to give their child the true faith begin to be called fanatics?.. Isn’t this the most understandable and natural desire for parents who do not give a damn about their own children? I, of course, can explain quite clearly why I personally would not want my child to ever choose Protestantism (as well as Zoroastrianism, Zen Buddhism, etc. But I probably won’t do that here. For the following reasons : 1. Out of simple respect both for those present here and for Protestants in general (among whom I have good friends. Yes, by the way, there are different Protestants: I had to be present in the American Protestant Church at the baptism of my friend’s infant baby.. 2. Going deeper into theological details would be clearly off-topic here. 3. Isn’t it already obvious that these reasons are enough for me?.. Jesus said: “Let the children come to Me and do not hinder them, for of such is the Kingdom of God "(Mark 10:14). "The men said to Lot, Who do you still have here? A son-in-law, or your sons, or your daughters, and whoever you have in the city, bring them all out of this place. For We will destroy this place; because the cry of its inhabitants to the Lord is great, and the Lord has sent us to destroy it.” (Gen. 19:12-13) There is only one righteous Lot in Sodom, but the angels, before destroying this city, are trying to bring out everyone who at least in some way belongs to Lot. Nowhere is it written that Lot's relatives were righteous. By blessing us, God gives us the right to bring our children out of “Sodom.” When God brings us out of the “Sodom” of sin, He instructs us: “Who else do you have? Whether it’s your sons, your daughters, or your wife, bring them out with you.” If we have been immersed in the merits of Christ by faith, we are circumcised to sin, God has brought us out of “Sodom.” What about our children? Does God really say: “Let them remain in Sodom for a while longer. When they grow up, they will decide for themselves where they will be”? No! God doesn't say that. He wants us to lead them out of “Sodom.” Why? Because “Sodom” is subject to destruction. He stands under the wrath of God. If our children become adults and want to return to “Sodom,” then they can do so of their own free will. But now you have to get them out” (c). By the way, you always forget that the Sacrament of Holy Baptism is not just some kind of legal act, such as the adoption of citizenship! I insist that “becoming a Satanist” is possible not only not “on an absolutely equal basis,” but only as a very sad rare exception... There is NO guarantee that a child raised not in any particular faith or philosophical and ideological system will one day Most of all, you will like the postulates of Protestantism, which you love so much, AND NOT ANYTHING ELSE!!! WHAT does this have to do with world religions and superficial knowledge about them, which, according to your logic, for some reason should protect the child from dangerous misconceptions?! But don’t you think that your personal example (and even many other examples) is not enough to claim sufficient clarity in this matter? If only because the overwhelming majority of people who make up sects and other dangerous associations in all respects did not receive a worthy religious and moral education in their time (which is obvious, IMHO! There is no point in arguing with this...)! If you were baptized, then you are a Christian. Should Christians take the name of God in vain?... I don’t know of any examples of children from “God-believing” families, as you put it, getting into similar situations (becoming drug addicts, jumping from the 20th floor). IMHO - this is either completely impossible, or as the same very tragic and rare exception... And I did not try to judge or condemn the inconsolable parents. But I know: what I intend to do to prevent this from happening to my own child is right! Not forgetting that everything is God’s will... Let me make an amendment: The most important Christian virtues (and what we give to a child) are FAITH, HOPE and LOVE! You should always hope, that’s right! And there is SOMETHING to be saved from for everyone living... https://www.kuraev.ru/child.html Inanna

Baptismal name

You should choose a different name at baptism if the child’s name is not in the Orthodox Saints.

In this case, you should choose a name in advance that is similar in sound (Alina - Elena, Zhanna - Anna, Alisa - Alexandra) and tell the priest about it.

Further, in all events related to church rituals (for example, weddings), you will need to use the name given at baptism.

Based on it, it will be determined when the child’s Angel Day is and who his heavenly patron is.

Where to baptize a child?

If you are parishioners of a temple, then you already have the answer to this question. If not, choose a temple to your liking.

It’s good if the temple has a separate baptismal room. It is usually warm, there are no drafts or outsiders.

If there are few churches in your city and they all have large parishes, then be sure to find out in advance how many children usually attend Epiphany.

It may turn out that several babies will be baptized at the same time, each of whom will be accompanied by many relatives. If you don’t like such a mass gathering, you can agree on an individual baptism.

Today, every temple has a website on the Internet with a contact phone number. Using it you can get answers to any questions you may have regarding the rite of baptism in a particular place.

To baptize or not to baptize?

I would really like to hear your opinion. I myself am not baptized. I can’t say whether this is good or bad, since I grew up in a purely atheist family with all the ensuing consequences. BUT! In the depths of my soul, I still want to baptize my child. Firstly, despite the fact that, in principle, I don’t believe in anything/anyone except myself and my own strengths, there is a doubt somewhere - what if it’s better this way? We have an argument with our dad about this. He says: if he wants, he will be baptized himself, I say: we will baptize him, if he doesn’t want to, he will forget about it and that’s it. And what do you think? And also - I heard that the presence of a mother, especially an unbaptized one, at a baptism is not welcome - is that true? Thanks in advance for your answers. 27.3.2003 Inga

I also grew up in an atheist family (my father is a communist, the head of a large institute). But when I turned 18, my parents suggested it themselves, and I agreed. Unfortunately, I have little education in this area, which really bothers me. But in church I feel very calm. I baptized my first-born when he was one year old, but I clumsily selected godparents (after christenings, I only sometimes see the godfather. And the godmother treats this so-so (I doubt that she attaches any importance to this at all). For the second, I already chose more seriously godparents, until I was disappointed. After all (it is believed) godparents are responsible for the spiritual education of the godson, and replace his real parents if (God forbid) something happens to them. Yes, we have been waiting for the godfather for a long time (he is still in I was on a business trip) and when I finally arrived, I had a very cold (sneezing, coughing, temperature 38.3) - they wanted to cancel it again, but the priest blessed it, and nothing happened to my son (he was six months old), although the whole ceremony was a godparent held him in his arms. But Petrusha didn’t even make a peep in the church, and in the font, where his father thoroughly dipped his head three times. So I don’t know, but there’s certainly nothing wrong with that. And when the child grows up, he’ll decide for himself what to wear. believe him. Tera
Why don't you circumcise him and make him study Torah? The remnants of the Middle Ages need to be eliminated in yourself, squeezed out drop by drop. In the first "Mummy" there was one character who had a crucifix, mogendoud, half-moon Celtic cross, Indian amulet, etc. hanging around his neck. — he also had the principle “what if it’s better this way.” In general, I’m on your dad’s side - he’ll grow up and decide for himself. Zhdanova Natalya
I thought exactly the same as you, but the first child is very much at 1 month. I fell ill and then I swore that if everything worked out, I would baptize. Everything worked out fine and I couldn’t change the glory I had given myself. We baptized our daughter simply because we felt we wanted to. The first time they told me that my mother should be as far away from the church as possible - it’s better that way. And the second one - I stood nearby and even picked her up several times. At certain moments, the priest said that I would hand the child over to my godmother. Mother
We baptized the child at 7 months, at the beginning of last summer. I myself am baptized, our dad was unbaptized at that moment and therefore stood on the sidelines (but he was allowed into the church without hindrance). I stood nearby in case of sudden hysteria. But the child really liked the ceremony, he laughed throughout the whole church. Father said that this was a good sign. And our dad suddenly got baptized this winter at the age of 33. Perhaps the time has come. For me personally, there was no doubt that I would definitely baptize, although I almost never go to church. Ju
I won’t say that I am a convinced atheist or a convinced believer, rather hesitant. I baptized my children, I think it’s right. But I also argued with my husband, he said that if I don’t go to church myself, then why do I baptize my children? I don’t know, deep down I probably still know that this is the right path, in any case, I will be glad if my children believe, but for now I did what I think I should, and when they grow up, they will decide for themselves whether they should go into faith. Thing-in-itself
I want my son to be under the protection of God
. And not just a child. And he had a guardian angel and patron saint. We are not as devout as we would like to be, but we try to live by biblical principles. And therefore the question of whether to baptize or not to baptize simply did not arise. We were waiting for a good moment. But I had a very religious colleague, but from a Christian sectarian. Either an Adventist or a Pentecostal, she spent days and nights in their special church. And she raised her daughters to be devout in their faith. And everything would be fine, but that faith does not accept baptism at all, and children are “presented to God” almost as adults. This is how their children grow up “like grass in the sun”, without a patron saint, it is not at all clear how and why. I don’t think anyone will be against your presence. It is important that godparents be baptized, but blood parents have nothing to do with their baptism. oh3harriette
So people, I’ll tell you how it happened. I am not baptized, my husband is baptized, our little one was baptized when he was 8 months old. in the Yelokhovsky Cathedral (metro station Baumanskaya). I, my husband, and my godfather were present; my godmother couldn’t come, she was simply signed up. Regarding the fact that I was not baptized, the priest said that when the time comes, then you will come to be baptized. I was only not allowed to enter the baptism area (in Elokhovka it is fenced off with an openwork forged lattice). The child's father and godparents stand directly in the baptism area. We were there on a regular Saturday according to the baptism schedule, there were only three people being baptized (2 kids and one adult). As for why they were baptized, I don’t know, it was probably necessary.. Lenchik
No need to convince anyone! You have to believe in it!
For all questions, it is better to consult at the temple! We baptized our girl on the 40th day! Dear (Katenok 1 year + 2 months)
I baptized my baby two months ago, when she was 2.7. I myself am baptized, but my husband is not. In addition, all this time, starting from the birth of the child, the husband actively prevented baptism. There were long disputes, quarrels, persuasion, but “ours” still won. I was also present during the baptism, but our dad was conspicuously absent. As for whether a child can be baptized before the mother, I find it difficult to answer. If you have the opportunity to ask this question to the priest during a personal meeting, then take advantage of it. Since I practically don’t go to church, I asked questions that interested me via the Internet (I found the website of some Orthodox monastery, asked a question and received an answer, albeit in a laconic form, but to the point). Tatochka
We are planning to do this closer to summer. IMHO, then the child will decide for himself how to relate to baptism, but for me personally, it is necessary. Detka
We baptized Sashka a year ago... It’s difficult for me to explain the reasons for my decision, but I’m sure that it’s better to baptize... but I can’t explain. Regarding the presence of my mother. Dad wasn’t present with us - he couldn’t. And I was. And, of course, there must be godparents... I recommend agreeing on an individual baptism. Still, when there are 20 people at the same time, this, IMHO, is not very good. Eura
I’m going to baptize mine, otherwise my relatives are quietly pressing me, and it won’t hurt. I myself am baptized, but I cannot say that I am a zealous believer. Our dad also says that she will grow up and be baptized herself if she wants, but he doesn’t particularly insist - like, let’s baptize if you want. So we will baptize in the summer. Tomik

How much to pay for the baptism ceremony?

Before performing the ceremony, you need to pay a donation for baptism. This amount is different in each city.

Officially, churches do not pay for the Sacraments and services, but in modern realities, a donation for baptism is one of the main sources of income for churches, allowing them to pay the costs of light, electricity, repairs, fire-fighting work and the work of the priest.

The price tag in the temple is the approximate amount of the donation. If there is no money, they must baptize for free. If there is a refusal, this is a reason to contact the dean.

The average amount that parents usually leave by their own decision for baptism is 1,500 rubles.

How is the baptism ceremony performed?

Shortly before the Sacrament of Baptism, the parents and godparents of the child need to confess and receive communion.
Baptism is carried out in a church or a separate room at the church - a baptismal sanctuary. It contains a baptismal font - a bowl-shaped vessel with blessed water. Godmothers and/or fathers stand near the font and hold the baby. The child's parents are watching.
First, the priest reads a prayer for naming, then blesses the child and then reads prayers calling on God to protect the child. In order for the baby himself to renounce evil and Satan, he is turned to the west, but since the child cannot turn around on his own, the priest asks the godparents to turn around and asks the child three times, “Do you renounce Satan and all his deeds and all his angels, and from all his service, and from all his pride? And the godparents answer instead of the baby: “I renounce.” Then the question is repeated three times: “Have you renounced Satan?” and the godparents answer: “I renounced,” the priest asks to blow and spit on him, confirming his contempt for Satan. The godparents turn to face the east and answer “I am united” three times to the priest’s question: “Are you united with Christ?”
After this, the priest reads a prayer for the consecration of the water in the font, sprinkles the water three times with a brush of oil (oil) and carries out anointing - anointing the forehead, chest, ears, shoulders, hands and feet of the baby with oil.
The child is undressed and immersed in the font. In some churches, the priest does not immerse the entire child in water, but, holding him over the font, simply pours blessed water over his head.
Next, the godfather (or godmother) takes the child from the priest’s hands and wraps him in kryzhma (or a new large white towel). Clothes and kryzhma after baptism are not washed, not given to other people, and not allowed to be worn. If a boy is baptized, then before immersion in the font the child is held by the godmother, and received from the font by the godfather. If a girl is baptized, then first the godfather holds her in his arms, and the godmother receives her from the font.
The priest puts a consecrated cross on the baby (there is no need to consecrate the cross in advance, it will be consecrated in the church during the baptismal ceremony) and performs anointing - he smears the child's forehead with myrrh - this is a special oil that is consecrated by the Patriarch once a year and is considered a great shrine. Confirmation is performed only once in a lifetime - after Baptism (do not confuse it with unction or anointing).
After this, the godparents with the child in their arms walk around the font three times in the direction against the movement of the sun. Following the procession, the reading of the Apostle and the Gospel begins, and the priest says a special prayer - the Litany, beginning with the words “Have mercy on us, O God.”
After reading the prayer, the child is washed. To wash the oil and myrrh, a sponge moistened with water is used. The priest passes it over those parts of the body to which he applied the holy oil.
Moves on to tonsure. First of all, he cuts off a little hair at the back of the head, then from the front of the head, then from the right and left sides. Everything cut is rolled into a ball of wax and lowered into the font, as a pledge of dedication and a symbol of sacrifice to God.
Upon completion of the baptismal ceremony, the boy is brought to the altar (not in all churches), and the girl is brought to the icon of the Mother of God (not in all churches). When the baptism ritual is over, the child’s parents will be given a baptismal certificate, which will indicate when and by whom the baptism was performed, as well as the child’s name day. The duration of a baptism is usually about an hour.
The day after the Sacrament of Baptism, it is necessary to give the child communion.

How to baptize a child without a priest?

– What can be done if a newborn child dies and there is no priest nearby to baptize him? What actions should be taken to prevent a child from dying unbaptized?

– A very important question, and it’s good that the one who asked it understands this importance. A well-known specialist in the field of liturgical theology, Protopresbyter Nikolai Afanasyev, wrote that “...every faithful not only can, but also must, in the absence of a priest, perform the Sacrament of Baptism over someone who is in mortal danger. Nowadays we are talking almost exclusively about babies. <…> When the possibility of laymen performing baptism in cases of mortal danger was recognized, women were also included in their number,” that is, the one who performs baptism in case of mortal danger must in any case be an Orthodox Christian.

The sacrament of Baptism can be performed by a layperson in cases where the person (being baptized) is dying and there is no priest nearby. The layman immerses the person being baptized in water three times or sprinkles him with water three times, saying: “The servant of God (name of the person being baptized) is baptized in the name of the Father, Amen (immerses in water), and the Son, Amen (immerses in water), and the Holy Spirit, Amen ( immerses in water). If the person being baptized gets better and survives, then it is necessary to contact a priest, and he will perform the Sacrament of Confirmation.

If it is not possible to immerse in water, then dousing is possible. In the most exceptional cases, when there is no other possibility, it is possible to sprinkle the dying person.

I had a case where a child was dying in a hospital in Thailand, and I was asked to baptize him. The Thais did not let me into the intensive care unit to see the child. Then I asked his mother if she was allowed. She replied that she would stay with him in the evening. Then I gave her holy water so that she could baptize the child herself, as well as oil so that she could anoint him. For the rest, he said that we would rely on the will of God. The child had a very high temperature for many days - under forty, which was not reduced by any medications. Doctors said that there was no hope for recovery, we had to wait for death. But the next morning after the baptism performed by his mother, the child’s temperature turned out to be 36.6. Thai doctors were shocked and said it was a miracle. They observed him for three days and then discharged him. After discharge, the Sacrament of Baptism was administered to the child in the church, and he was anointed.

In this regard, I would like to talk about one belief that I had to encounter. Allegedly, if a mother, if her child is threatened with death, baptizes him herself, then she will become her husband’s godfather and will not be able to have marital intimacy with him. This is a fantasy that you don't need to think about. Another thing is that baptism by the laity can be performed only in exceptional cases of a real threat to the life of someone who may die unbaptized.

Hieromonk Michael (Chepel)