Can there be a godsister?
Choosing godparents for your child is a very important moment in the life of any family.
Indeed, in Orthodoxy, through such sacred rites of Baptism, a parent is assigned to the child for moral and Orthodox education. Therefore, they often want to see a close and dear person as a godmother - the mother’s sister or the baby’s aunt. Let's find out whether it is allowed to take your sister as your spiritual mother? 1 To answer this question, you need to understand what main points parents should rely on when choosing responsible people for a newly made member of the Church. Godparents can be:
- necessarily Orthodox Christians;
- preferably church people who will instill in their future godson the correct spiritual education, who are ready to take him to church and stimulate his desire to grow in the Orthodox faith;
- pregnant women, despite all superstitions;
- unmarried women.
2 There are several more instructions that you should rely on when choosing godparents. Firstly, choose people who are mature in mind, because they will be responsible for your baby if something happens to the blood parents. Secondly, think about whether the person you choose can become an authority for your child, a good example in life and a spiritual parent. Remember that the responsibilities of godparents do not end with gifts once a year - this is a very important mission, it is this person who must pray for the baby for the rest of his life.
3 To understand whether the parents’ sister (sister, step-mother, cousin) can become a child’s successor, you also need to familiarize yourself with the prohibitions when choosing godparents. Recipients cannot be:
- Mother and father of the child.
- People who are related by blood cannot become godparents to one child at the same time.
- Monks and nuns.
- Those who profess a different religion are not Orthodoxy. In other words, non-believers.
- Spouses will not be able to become godfather and mother of one child.
- People who consider themselves non-believers.
- Girls under 13 and boys under 15.
- People who are in a relationship and plan to legalize it. After all, an intimate relationship between godparents is not allowed; after the sacrament, only spiritual kinship binds them.
- Immoral persons or mentally ill people.
- A person of the same sex as the child, if it is planned to choose only one recipient for the baby.
This list does not include the parents' sister, so there is no obstacle to taking your sister as godmother to the child. Act based on reasonable arguments, listen to your inner voice, choose with your heart!
4 If you plan to choose the child’s own sister as your spiritual mother, then know that the Church does not interfere with this. All relatives of the child are allowed to baptize a child, except the natural father and mother. Therefore, a sister or daughter of an aunt or uncle can be a godmother. However, again, think about whether, for example, your eldest daughter will be able to take on the responsibility that you are going to assign to her. Is she ready to be around all her life, support spiritually and pray for her godson.
After the Sacrament of Baptism, the godmother can be called a “family member.” Therefore, if you do not want to, then a completely acceptable solution would be to take your sister as your successor; there are no prohibitions in this regard. The main thing is to take into account the above-mentioned human qualities.
Basic Church Requirements
Baptism is the first and most important sacrament of Christians. Through baptism a person becomes a member of the church and receives admission to other sacraments. The Russian Orthodox Church does not set a minimum age for religious conversion. At the initial stage of Christianity, baptism took place in a different order from the modern one. They prepared for it in advance, for several months. During this time, converts underwent a test of faith (fulfilling the commandments), learned the basics of Christian teaching, and performed rituals.
The introduction of the sacrament of the godparents into the ritual appeared when Christians were persecuted and were forced to hide their religion. The godfather was a religious man who knew closely the person who wanted to join the Christian faith. He was a guarantee to the Christian community that the person was sincere in his religious intentions. He was entrusted with the preparation for the announcement and he was required to be present at the sacrament.
The announcement took place in the church: the clergyman named by name the people who were allowed to attend services before baptism, with the exception of the sacrament of Holy Communion.
Among Christians of this period (II-IV centuries) there was a belief that during baptism all past sins were forgiven. For this reason, people tried to be baptized as late as possible. The Church fought against this superstition. When Christianity became the leading religion, they began to try to introduce them to the sacrament from infancy.
Since the child was not able to fulfill the conditions of the ritual, his godfather/godmother began to perform this for him. In 397, the Council of Carthage approved the rule according to which Christian parents who did not agree to baptize their infants were anathematized (excommunicated from the church).
The rite of announcement began to quickly be replaced by the baptism of babies. The timing of the rites of passage for infants and minors has varied throughout the millennia of Christian history. The Gospel of Mark quotes Jesus as saying that he who believes and is baptized will be saved (that is, the convert must be aware of his actions at baptism).
Gregory the Theologian explains his attitude to the baptism of children: if there is a danger to health, then they are baptized from the first days of life; for healthy children - baptism at the age of 3, when the child will be able to repeat after the priest and understand the words of the prayer.
Currently, clergy recommend that parents baptize their children as early as possible, so as not to frighten the child with an unfamiliar environment and a stranger who takes him in his arms and performs incomprehensible manipulations.
The Russian Orthodox Church has retained the procedure of announcement before baptism. Newly converted adults and children over 7 years of age are required to take it. When performing baptism on infants and children under 7 years of age, both parents and recipients must undergo preparation.
The child's godparent must be an Orthodox Christian. Atheists and people of other faiths (Muslims, Buddhists, Protestants, Catholics) are not allowed to participate in the rite of Baptism. The successor to the relatives of the father and mother must not only be baptized in Orthodoxy, but also attend church services, adhere to rituals and traditions, and know the basic prayers.
An Orthodox father and mother cannot be godparents for their children at the same time. A married couple cannot be godparents to one child. Consent to spiritual kinship must be conscious, since it means participation in the upbringing of the godson.
For this reason, minors cannot be appointed as foster children. Before the sacrament of Baptism, the priest can clarify how old the future godparent is. A minor baptized in Orthodoxy can be a spiritual guardian if he understands his responsibility before God.
Can a sister become a godmother?
A sister can become your son’s godmother if she is not considered a teenager by age, but is already an adult. But it doesn’t matter whether there are different fathers or the same one. Apart from the parents themselves and the new husband or wife (stepmother, stepfather), all other relatives can be godparents.
Why does your daughter have to be an adult?
The godmother is practically equivalent to a second mother, only a spiritual one.
How can a minor become responsible for the spiritual upbringing of another if her parents and godparents are responsible for her own upbringing?
And if she is an adult, then there is no problem. The sister will have to learn the creed. Then it must be said that now they treat this with a scolding attitude, but in fact the role of the godmother is not to give gifts on name days, but firstly, to go to the Temple and pray for the godson as for her own son. Also remember him in your home prayers. Write notes to the church in his name regularly. Also, gently promote his spiritual education (if Easter is coming or Lent, then tell him what it is and how, for example), and Christian virtues. And now they reason: if only they could attend the ceremony for show, but they don’t think at all what the real role of godparents is.
You yourself understand that the sister herself must be Orthodox and baptized.
Who can be a child's godparents?
- a cross and a chain, it does not matter what material they are made of, the main thing is that the cross has the established church shape, and the chain should be comfortable for the child (for babies it is best to use a regular rope);
- a silver spoon, which is given to newborn babies at christening; it is believed that this spoon should be the first one with which the child begins to feed;
- The Bible, every Orthodox person should have this book, so you can give it to a child in pictures and from childhood begin to acquaint him with the church commandments;
- prayer books, in the future, as the godson grows up, he needs to be given books with prayers so that he can study them, and also, if necessary, use them.
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The problem of many families in the modern world is that their children undergo the rite of baptism, but in fact they do not see the embodiment of Christian ideas in the family.
24 Aug 2022 etolaw 543
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Who can be godparents and who can't
If the godmother and godfather are spouses, they are prohibited from participating in the sacrament of baptism of one child. Moreover, a man and woman cannot baptize the same child if they are just planning to get married. If they do become godparents of one baby, they will have to give up close relationships in favor of raising a godson.
Baptism is the most significant event in the life of every Orthodox person. And of course, you need to take a responsible approach to choosing godparents. After all, they are second parents and play an important role in a person’s life. There are many superstitions about godparents. And many people wonder: who can be a godfather and who cannot. Let's try to answer the most frequently asked questions on this topic.
Features of baptism
The rite of baptism does not depend on the gender and age of the convert. The difference lies in the definition of the main receiver.
Boys
According to custom, there should be two godparents, like relatives. But the Orthodox Church allows you to have one godfather. For a boy, it must be a man. A pregnant woman is allowed to become the godmother of a boy. With two godparents, the baptismal prayer mentions the main caregiver (for a boy, the godfather).
Girls
For girls there is the same rule as for boys: if it is not possible to find a godfather, then only a woman (godmother) is present at Baptism. With two recipients, the baptismal prayer mentions the main trustee - the godmother. A pregnant woman can become a girl's godmother.
Is it possible to make a brother or sister godparents?
I think so, and that's even better. My friend follows all the canons, observes all fasts, she is a very religious person. I always consulted her on religious issues. Here's how she explains it to me: In Christianity (Orthodoxy), blood relatives are not the basis of religious relations, of course, there is a clause that blood relatives cannot marry and give birth to children, but it is much more important if the brother and sister godparents are going to get married. This is absolutely impossible to do, therefore in modern times it is even recommended to take godparents so that your child and the children of his godparents do not have the opportunity to enter into any relationship, since in essence they are in a brotherly (sisterly) relationship.
Yes, godparents may well be siblings. In a way, that's not even a bad thing. Since these are the closest people and the likelihood that the life paths of the godson and his godparents will diverge is much less than when strangers (friends, acquaintances, acquaintances) are made godparents.
Can a brother be a godfather to his own brother?
Before becoming a godfather, do I need to confess and receive communion? priest Afanasy Gumerov, resident of the Sretensky Monastery, the Receiver must help the newborn from the holy font participate in church sacraments and live according to the statutes of the Church. That's why
Chapter 37: About the fact that a brother should be generous towards offenders and not take revenge on his offenders 1. From the Fatherland About Abba Isidore, the presbyter of Skete, they told: if a weak, cowardly and rude brother lived in someone’s cell and the elder wanted to drive him away, then Abba Isidore
Godparents: who can be a godparent
This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which of them will be able to become a truly kind assistant in education, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.
We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it. Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”
Main responsibilities of godparents
Godparents are spiritual mentors, helping the godson's father and mother shape the child's personality and protect them from evil forces and misfortunes.
Prayer room
The godfather and mother, as true Christians, should attend church, pray to the icons of the holy saints, angels, the Mother of God and the Lord. In their prayer requests, they should not forget about the godson/goddaughter. The prayers of godparents have the same power as the prayers of the father and mother.
In prayers for a spiritual son or daughter they ask:
- about health;
- recovery from illness;
- good luck in business;
- strengthening faith;
- strong family relationships;
- the gift of a child.
The sincere prayer of the godfather will become a shield from the thoughts of evil people and natural elements.
Doctrinal
Godparents have the responsibility to convey Christian principles to the child. To do this, they must attend divine services with their godchildren on ordinary days and holidays. Children need to be explained the essence of what is happening in the temple, what the celebration is dedicated to, how they should behave during fasting, and their meaning. The godfather or godmother must teach the child basic prayers so that he can independently turn to the Lord or the Mother of God for help.
Moral
Spiritual mentoring means a trusting relationship with the mentee. The godson/goddaughter must respect the godparents and listen to their opinions. This places a special responsibility on adults. Family ties are one thing. Relationships between children and parents develop naturally, based on physical kinship, parental and child love.
Spiritual communication requires self-improvement of the adult personality. The Sacrament of Baptism does not automatically give rights to a godson. It places on godparents the responsibility to be able to influence a growing personality in Christian traditions, where morality has its own characteristics.
Can a sibling be a godmother?
That's the whole question, in principle. I just had doubts. My sister is the godmother of my child, and I am going to become the godmother of her baby. So it is possible? My aunt just said that in those days it was impossible to do this(
What a time. Everyone is indignant. My sister is due to give birth in a week, she wants to take my husband as godparents. The christening will take place in early summer. She hasn’t given birth yet and is already ordering us a gold chain for the child, the cross says the godparents bought it on the other side! I have two children and I should tell my godparents what they need to buy for my children - but this has never happened!
Can an aunt be a godmother to a nephew?
Certainly! My children's godparents are their own aunts. My son has my husband’s sister, and my daughter has my sister. Our godparents are friends, but they are very good. In general, it seems to me that relatives should be considered first and foremost as godparents. But that's just my opinion.
I am the godfather of my older sister’s daughter, and as far as I remember, when my niece was baptized, this did not cause any objection from the priest who performed the baptism, so you can safely involve your brothers and sisters in this.
Child's world
My godfather, my brother, comes regularly once a month and loves my daughter very much. My godmother, my second cousin, visits once a week and helps a lot. And in the summer we spent our entire vacation with her! Godparents are the closest people and their choice must be approached responsibly.
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For the first son (4.5 years old): the godmother is my husband’s sister, we rarely saw each other, came to birthdays, didn’t show any more initiative, now she’s moved to Moscow altogether, and we had a big quarrel, I don’t think we’ll see each other again, but we’re just glad about it .my husband’s godfather-cousin, lives in another city, calls once a week, communicates with his godson on the phone, tries to come often, always with gifts and for a few days, sometimes we go to see him, his son adores him.
Who to take as godparents? Can a grandmother be a godmother to her granddaughter?
Expanding deeper into the seemingly simple topic “Can a grandmother be godmother to her granddaughter”, it is worth noting the main thing - in such a sacred action as Baptism, a person’s body is immersed three times in water with the words invoking the name of the Holy Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit . This thereby washes a person from original sin and from all other sins committed before baptism. Symbolically, this means that by the grace of the Holy Spirit a person is spiritually reborn and becomes a member of the Church and the Blessed Kingdom of Christ.
And in general, I wonder who can be taken as godparents? It must be said that godparents are needed for a person under 14 years of age; after these years, the need for them automatically disappears, and he himself can come to church and be baptized without guarantees.
Special cases
Choosing a godfather is a difficult question. It can be difficult to find a worthy and close acquaintance to offer him such a role. In this case, the Orthodox Church allows relatives to become godparents.
Grandmother with granddaughter
A believing grandmother can be the spiritual guardian of her granddaughter if her age does not exceed 70 years. The age limit imposed by the church is explained by the duties of the godmother. An old woman should have enough strength to influence a young girl morally, have the strength to take her to church, the memory to explain the basics of Orthodoxy and teach her prayers.
Grandfather with grandson
A grandfather should be a moral authority for his grandson. His age, like his grandmother’s, should not be older than 70 years.
Aunt for niece
An aunt is a close person to the family. Her choice for baptism of her niece depends on intra-family relationships and attitude towards faith.
Native sister
A sister, if she is 14 years old, can become a godmother to her younger sister or brother.
Main requirements for a sister:
- must be baptized;
- attend church;
- know the Creed;
- realize responsibility.
Children under 14 years of age are considered minors and cannot be held responsible for their actions.
Sister's brother
A sibling, like a sister, can be a godfather for a sister if he is 14 years old, baptized in Orthodoxy, knows prayers and understands what the responsibilities of a godfather are.
Catholic from Orthodox
When Baptism takes place outside of Russia, in a Catholic country, it can be difficult to find an Orthodox person suitable for the duties of a godparent. In this case, the Orthodox Church allows you to choose a person of the Catholic or Protestant faith as godparents.
Cousin
Cousin relationship is not an obstacle to fulfilling the duties of a successor if all other necessary conditions are met.
Uncle for nephew
An uncle, like an aunt, can be a guardian for a nephew. In this case, the following conditions must be met:
- baptized in the Orthodox faith;
- his wife will not be his nephew's godmother;
- in the future he does not plan to marry his godfather (if he is single).
A godfather relative must be present at the ceremony. His name will be entered on the baptismal certificate and in the church register of converts.
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But when you’re on your period, it’s also forbidden to enter. This is like those same 40 days when lochia or menstruation occurs. Those. the woman is “not pure.” Therefore, even when you really want to, such as Easter, Vodokhreshchenya, etc., you still have to send relatives ((
so let mom go to church and find out, or some friend or husband... the priest should know everything. I definitely need to find out, after all, my brothers and sisters... why can’t you go to church? (if it’s not a secret)... I would definitely find out everything myself.
Is it possible to take a sister as a godparent?
If the godmother and godfather are spouses, they are prohibited from participating in the sacrament of baptism of one child. Moreover, a man and woman cannot baptize the same child if they are just planning to get married. If they do become godparents of one baby, they will have to give up close relationships in favor of raising a godson.
If a husband and wife unknowingly become the adoptive parents of the same child, the spouses need to contact the ruling bishop. As a rule, there are two ways out of this situation: recognition of the marriage as invalid, or the spouses will be given penance for a sin committed out of ignorance.
Sites for girls
We want to baptize our little son, but we cannot find believing godparents. Why can’t natural parents be godparents? Can the baby's older sister be godmother? Ksenia Dear Ksenia! Talk to the priest of the temple where you will baptize the baby, perhaps he will suggest you good godparents from the same parish. Church canons prohibit the baby's parents from being godparents; the older sister can be godmother. But the first demand for raising a child in faith is from the parents. Before baptism, it is good if the parents confess and receive communion, and in the future they regularly begin the sacraments. God help, priest Alexander Ilyashenko
I found out that as a child I became the goddaughter of my mother’s friend. Mom does not maintain a relationship with this woman. Tell me, is there anything I can do for her now? Elena Hello, Elena! It is quite strange that at such an early age you became a godmother. However, if this bothers you and you feel that you must at least partially fulfill your duty, then pray for your goddaughter - may the All-Merciful Lord guide her on the path of righteousness! Peace and blessings of God be upon you! Priest Alexy Kolosov
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Baptismal relationship
There is also such a concept as sisters of the cross, but in your case this definition does not apply, because sisters of the cross are sisters of the cross, named sisters, brothers-in-arms, sisters. In other words, women who exchanged pectoral crosses in relation to each other. However, there is other information that contradicts the above:
“According to modern Lipetsk materials, the godchildren of the same godparents in relation to each other, as well as the natural children of godparents in relation to the godchildren of their parents, are considered cross brothers or cross sisters: “The father and mother of the godparents accepted the godchild and accepted her - so we are sisters cross with her. And I also have Christ’s sisters and brothers - these are the children of my godparents” (A.P. Volkova).”
Godparents vouch before God
If some circumstances do not allow you to confidently accept such responsibility, if there is no sincere love in your heart for the intended godson, it is better to refuse the honorary offer to become a godfather.
Two years ago, my relatives asked me to become a godmother. Now they demand gifts from me, tell me where and what I need to buy, without asking what my current financial situation is, what I can or cannot buy. What should I do?
They can. My youngest daughter actually has a godmother - my eldest daughter, that is, her sister. True, there is a big age difference between them. The priest said. that the main thing is that the godfather and mother are not married and subsequently do not get married.
The following persons cannot be godparents. 1. Monks and nuns. 2. Parents for their own children. 3. Persons who are married to each other (or the bride and groom) cannot baptize one baby, because with a spiritual relationship, married life is unacceptable. In this case, spouses are allowed to be the adoptive parents of different children of the same parents, but at different times. 4. Non-believers. 5. Unbaptized. 6. Minors. 7. Mentally abnormal (mentally ill) people. 8. Persons who came to the temple drunk.
Who can't be godfather
To understand why only an Orthodox Christian can be a recipient, we must remember the essence of the sacrament. During Baptism, the second (spiritual) birth of a person occurs. His soul gains access to the grace of God, protection from the influence of a sinful world.
A baptized child can be given communion, pray for his health, and in case of misfortune, he can be buried according to Christian custom, so that his soul will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Children are most often baptized from 8 to 40 days after birth in order to be able to pray for their health. During Baptism, the spiritual parent makes a promise for the godson to observe the norms established in the Holy Scriptures and in the Orthodox tradition.
With the completion of the sacrament, his duties include constant communication with the child. If for some reason (a quarrel with his parents, leaving for another area) he cannot see his godson regularly or at all, then he is obliged to constantly pray to the Lord for him, asking for health, strengthening in faith, and choosing the right path in life.
Knowing the conditions and consequences of baptism, persons are determined who cannot be invited to become the child's guardian. Parents should know that it is impossible to change godparents in the future.
The Orthodox Church does not allow this, because for this you need to go through the baptismal rite again. But the sacrament is possible only once in a lifetime. If the godparent leads an immoral lifestyle, then with the blessing of the priest you can find another spiritual mentor, but he will not be the godparent.
Representatives of other religions and atheists
You cannot become a recipient if your own views are different from Orthodox and Christian. Buddhists, Muslims, Jews do not believe in Jesus Christ and his teachings. The words spoken by such people at the sacrament have no weight; the grace of God will not descend on the child.
Catholics and Protestants are Christians, but differences in beliefs will not make it possible to introduce a child to Orthodoxy to the fullest. The Catholic and Protestant religions differ from the Orthodox in relation to saints and celebrations of major Christian events (Christmas, Easter and others).
The parents themselves
The tradition of godparents comes from the early Christian period. Godparents were supposed to be close family friends whom the children knew well. In the event of the death of the father and mother, the community entrusted the care of minors to the godfather and mother. Thus, Christianity protected children who became orphans.
In the event of the loss of parents, the adoptive parents were obliged to take care of not only the spiritual, but also the material support of the child. The foster child is not a substitute for father and mother in educational matters, he became a member of the family.
For this reason, the church imposed restrictions on church marriages:
- between godfather and goddaughter;
- godfather and mother of the child;
- godson and godmother;
- godfather and godmother of one child.
These situations should be taken into account when selecting spiritual caregivers. In 2022, the Council of Bishops allowed the godfathers of one child to marry with the permission (blessing) of the bishop of the diocese.
Monastics
Monks and nuns cannot be trustees, despite the fact that they are superior to the laity in religion and piety. The Church forbids them to participate in the sacrament, since, having entered monasticism, they renounced earthly life, devoting it to serving the Lord.