Why can't a husband and wife be godparents of one child?

Why can't husband and wife be godparents?

Baptism is an important event in the life of every person. In this case, parents must choose godparents for their child. This choice must be approached as responsibly as possible in order to avoid serious problems in the future. Next, we will consider in more detail why a husband and wife cannot be godparents.

— If the parents are not baptized, then they must be baptized themselves so that they can take part in the baptism of the child. Today, both children and adults are baptized, so there should not be any problems.

What to do, if…

It often happens that, out of ignorance, the parents of a new little person offer to become his godparents to a married couple who are close friends or relatives. They are guided only by the best intentions, believing that this way the baby will be in good hands and, if something happens to mom and dad, responsibility for him will fall on the adoptive family. All the intricacies of baptism are known only to clergy, but they do not require the presentation of marriage certificates from everyone who baptizes children, relying on the fact that they discussed the nuances in advance in the church. That's why such misunderstandings happen. What to do if, out of ignorance, a husband and wife still become godparents of one child?

Married couple – godparents of one child: superstitions and traditions

According to the traditions of the Orthodox Church, a man and woman who baptize a baby enter into a spiritual relationship. It is valued so highly that no other union is more important than this (including marriage). There are several traditions in the Orthodox faith that call into question the possibility of baptizing other people's children for a married couple. Here are the main points when spouses are prohibited from being heirs:

A couple of people are prohibited from participating in the sacrament of infant baptism if they are spouses. If this happens, then their marriage will not be able to exist on a spiritual level: it will not have a sacred bond.
Similar to established spouses, a couple who intends to enter into a marriage does not have the right to baptize. Since at the time of baptism they will acquire a spiritual unity (kinship) that is exalted above the physical, they will have to abandon their relationship in favor of acquiring the status of godparents.
A couple who lives in a civil marriage also does not have the right to become godparents to a child, because initially such ties are condemned by the church and are considered fornication.

Godparents husband and wife: the opinion of the Moscow Patriarch on the reasons for the ban

The main requirement of the Orthodox Church for those who baptize a child is that they must steadfastly believe, live a church life, and know at least the most basic prayers (“Gospel”, “Our Father”, for example). This is urgently necessary so that in the future they can fully fulfill the role of teachers for their godson. Church parents should provide basic knowledge about the Orthodox faith and the spiritual principles of human existence. If the recipients are people ignorant of such matters, then great doubts arise in their initial desire to become godparents.

The Church strictly monitors the fulfillment of every condition relating to the sacrament of baptism, and has a negative attitude towards cases when people deliberately do not comply with certain rules. There is an acute question about the possibility of becoming godparents of a man and woman who are married. The Orthodox religion has its own view on this matter, which is worth dwelling on in more detail.

According to Orthodox canons, a husband and wife cannot become spiritual parents of one child. It is believed that they are already one when they are married. And if both baptize the baby, this is wrong. This position is explained by the fact that during the sacrament of baptism, the recipients must gain integrity in relation to the child, and if they are already spiritually united, then the rite will not be recognized as valid.

7 signs of advertising a quack medicine
Do-it-yourself paths in the country
New model of food consumption after the epidemic

Some priests are loyal to this issue and reason like this: if the marriage was not concluded in the church, this gives the husband and wife the right to baptize one child, since their relationship was not sealed in heaven. To make sure whether a husband and wife can be godparents, seek the strong opinion of the highest religious officials and listen to what the Moscow Patriarchate thinks about this. Watch the video below which discusses the topic in detail.

Who can be godfather

Godparents can be:

Relatives of children: grandparents, sisters, brothers and so on.
People whose children you are a successor to.
Godparents of your first child. If you have already baptized the first child, then when baptizing the second, you can ask the same people to become the second’s successors.
Priest. If you don’t have really close people to whom you could entrust this, then a priest can do it.
There are superstitions that believe that a pregnant or unmarried woman without children will bring bad luck to her newborn. Don’t believe it, such girls can become godparents.

Take the choice of a spiritual mentor for your son or daughter responsibly, since it will no longer be possible to change your choice.

Baptism is an important process. Remember also that if the parents are divorced, then the stepfather cannot become a stepfather. This is an important choice, so choose people who truly care about your son or daughter. Godparents should be mentors to children and help them develop spiritually. Therefore, take this seriously.

How godparents appeared

The first Christians took special responsibility for discipling new members of the Church. In those days, Baptism was often accepted by adults who understood the essence of the Sacrament being performed. At the same time, entire families were often baptized, including small children. Subsequently, Baptism began to be performed mainly on infants. Since children, due to their age, could not consciously confess the True God, the Sacrament of Baptism was performed on them (and is still being performed) according to the faith of their parents and successors. In Orthodoxy, having one godparent is sufficient. Boys have a godfather, girls have a godmother. After all, the recipient is the one who takes the baptized baby into his arms.

Each Local Orthodox Church has its own traditions regarding recipients of the Sacrament of Baptism. For example, in the Serbian Church it is customary to have one godfather. The Georgian Church allows an unlimited number of godparents. In the Russian Orthodox Church, according to tradition, baptism is performed with two recipients. But it should be emphasized that the number of godparents is not determined by church rules. What is important here is not a quantitative approach, but a qualitative one.

“Parents should definitely take their choice of godfather or godmother seriously. Sometimes two godparents are chosen, but this is simply a pious Russian tradition, stemming from the idea that a child should have both a mother and a father. In principle, one godfather or godmother is quite enough. But you need to understand that the godfather must have something to give the child in terms of his spiritual development. Simply put, you need a specialist. When parents look for teachers for their child, they choose them not for friendship, but for professional qualities. The same must be done here” (priest Dmitry Nikolaev).

What the Church says about the possibility of taking a married couple as godparents

According to church rules, godparents cannot marry their godchildren. That is why in Ancient Greece, from where Christianity came to us, there was a custom to take as godparents only one person of the same sex as the godson.

Spouses also cannot be godparents of the same child. They can baptize different children. According to church rules, if spouses or natural parents become godparents of a child, they need to get a divorce. It is advisable not to do rash things and appoint people who will never get married as godfathers.

Can a husband and wife be godparents to one child?

Instead of suffering, it is better to turn to the book by Sergei Grigorovsky, “Obstacles to Wedding and Reception at Baptism,” published with the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II. It focuses on marriage between godparents:

Who can become a baby's godfather? Can a husband and wife be godparents to a child? Is it possible to adopt close relatives as adoptive parents—sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, grandparents? Is it true that a pregnant or unmarried woman cannot have her children baptized? In our article you will find answers to these questions.

According to church canons, one recipient is enough to perform the sacrament of baptism.

However, in a married marriage, the spouses are a single whole.
And when godparents are husband and wife, this is not correct. But what to do if young people first became godparents to the child, and then decided to get married.

The question arises: can godparents get married?

In this case, one can refer to the decree of the Holy Synod of December 31, 1837, which denies the spiritual relationship between recipients.

A married couple can become godparents for different children of the same family

If a couple lives in an unwed marriage, most likely they will not be able to become godparents, since such a union is considered fornication.

To avoid controversial situations, for example, the Greeks make do with only one recipient, in order to avoid spiritual kinship.

The Romanian Orthodox Church prohibits such marriages. And now the question is: is it possible for the godparents of one child to marry?

The decision of the Second Pre-Conciliar Pan-Orthodox Conference in 1983 reflects this problem as follows:

“In our time in the Russian Orthodox Church, rarely anyone knows that, according to ancient church tradition, there should not be a second recipient or recipient at baptism.
However, for many centuries we have had the custom of having two recipients at Baptism: male and female, that is, a godfather and a godmother.
The marriage of a godson to an optional godmother, as well as the marriage of a goddaughter to an optional godfather, can be confusing for believers.
For this reason, the above-mentioned marriages are undesirable in the Russian Orthodox Church.”

Based on all the above arguments “for” and “against” - why godparents cannot be together - it would be correct to take into account the later church opinion. Thus, do not tempt people with marriages between godparents.

In any case, according to the latest decree of the Holy Synod, such situations are resolved only by the ruling bishop.

By leaving a comment, you accept the user agreement

The essence and necessity of the Sacrament of Baptism

The beginning of a person’s spiritual life begins with the Sacrament of Baptism, when the newly baptized becomes a member of the Orthodox Church. Only the baptized can take part in other church Sacraments.

God's grace at Baptism frees a person from all previously committed sins, as well as from the ancestral sin inherited by each of us at birth. There is a renewal of the human soul, the birth of a spiritual baby. The newly baptized person receives strength to start a new life and communicate with God.

“Baptism is like a second birth, spiritual. It is the door to the Church. A person who is baptized becomes a member of the Church and finds himself on its threshold. This is the beginning of the journey. In the future, it depends on him whether he will move forward. Of course, the road ahead is difficult, but the Lord did not promise us an easy path” (Hierodeacon Paisiy Shurukhin).

Who does the ban apply to?

The Church considers married couples to be spouses. But the ban also applies to:

Couples who entered into a marriage in the registry office.
Those who are just planning to get married. During baptism, these people will gain spiritual unity, as responsible before God for the godson. Therefore, subsequently their marriage will not be concluded at the proper level, since the spiritual connection is much stronger than the physical one.
Dating guys and girls who should not be godparents of the same child, since in the future their relationship may develop into something more. Moreover, if there is an intimate relationship between them, which is unacceptable for unmarried believers.
Couples living in a civil marriage. The Church denies such a union and considers it sinful.
Ex-husband and wife, while divorced, also cannot be chosen as godparents of one child. If they got married, then a civil divorce does not count, since their union was concluded in heaven, not on earth. If not, then their union is considered sinful, and they themselves are considered unreliable and unworthy for raising a little Christian. If a man and a woman are not related to each other in any way, but each of them suffered a divorce from someone else in the past, then the church can turn a blind eye to this, which depends on the categoricalness of a particular priest.

The Church strictly monitors the fulfillment of these requirements. If the priest conducting the sacrament of baptism finds out that the chosen godparents are married or in a relationship, he will refuse to perform the ritual in their presence. And, on the contrary, if the priest marrying the newlyweds finds out that they are the godparents of one child, then he will refuse to unite them in sacred marriage.

But the church still allows some things. A husband and wife cannot baptize the same child, but they can become godparents of two children (siblings) from the same family. For example, a husband can take responsibility before God for an older child, and a wife for a younger one. Or one of the couple can baptize both children in the family.

Is it possible for godparents to marry?

Hello “I Breathe Orthodoxy”! We are a young couple and want to get married, but we recently became godparents of one child. Is it possible for godparents to marry? The godson's parents (very religious people) say that according to the canons we cannot get married, because we are godparents of one child. They refer to Article 211 of the Nomocanon. Tell me what should we do? Oleg and Evgenia, Voronezh.

First of all, it should be remembered that having two godparents is a tradition, not a church rule. In different local churches, this tradition is observed in different ways. For example, in the Serbian Church, according to tradition, only one godparent is allowed (for a girl - a woman, for a boy - a man). In Georgia, for example, the number of godparents may not be limited, and according to some traditions, you can even become a godparent in absentia. The Russian Church adopted the tradition of having two godparents from the Greek Church. But I emphasize that this is just a tradition, and not a mandatory church rule.

But with this reasoning, the question arises - what to do with the rule that regulates the prohibition of godparents of one child from marrying? The two hundred and eleventh article of the Nomocanon at the Great Trebnik reads: “ Whenever a husband and wife baptize a child for one person, we command that whoever does not mix with each other is imputed to the godfather .” In 1730, on the issue of the origin of this rule (and in general its authority), a request was created for the theological commission and on May 30 of the same year, the Holy Synod expressed serious canonical doubts about this rule: “And that the Nomocanon paragraph 211 was printed in the Trebnik, and that point is very doubtful because from whom it was stated and in what years, it has not been published and is very unknown " (for more details, see in the affairs of May 30, 1730, in the Complete Collection of Resolutions and Orders for the Office of the Orthodox Confession, vol. VII, No. 2308).

A little later, the Synod formulated a Decree, from the publication of which Article 211 of the Nomocanon lost its force:

“The recipient and the successor (godfather and godfather) are not related to themselves; Because at Holy Baptism there is one person, necessary and valid: male for those baptized of the male sex, and female for those baptized of the female sex »

(Decree of the Holy Synod of January 19, 1810).

Several decades later, the Holy Synod consolidated this position by issuing another decree:

«As for the second recipient, he does not create a spiritual relationship either with the baptized person or with the first recipient, therefore, from a theological point of view, marriage between the recipients (godparents) of one baptized baby is considered possible»

(Decree of the Holy Synod of December 31, 1837).

(quoted from S. Bulgakov - Handbook of a clergyman, Vol. 4. Publication of the Moscow Patriarchate, M.: 1983, p. 234.)

Apparently, despite the previous decrees of the Synod, there was still some confusion and misunderstanding among the people about the degrees of spiritual kinship. Therefore, several decades later, the Holy Synod issues another decree, according to which marriage between godparents is allowed only with the blessing of the ruling bishop:

«The godparent and godmother (godfather and mother of the same baby) can marry only after the permission of the diocesan bishop»

(Decree of the Holy Synod of April 19, 1873).

Thus, to this day, there is no reason to prohibit godparents of one child from marrying. The only thing you need to do, according to the rules, is to write a petition to the ruling bishop of your diocese, asking him to bless you for a church marriage.

Anatoly Badanov, administrator of the missionary project “Breathing Orthodoxy”

Similar

Who else should not be made godparents?

If you decide to baptize your child, then you must know all the requirements and customs of the church, which prohibit taking children as successors (except for husband and wife):

the baby's blood parents;
one who has not been baptized or does not believe in any religion (atheist);
a person who denies any truth of the Orthodox religion;
if the one who baptizes treats the sacrament of baptism as a magical rite and pursues his own goals (in the pagan sense);
people who do not want to become godparents for this child;
adoptive father or adoptive mother;
people who are members of other faiths;
children under 14 years of age;
monks and representatives of the church rank;
people whose views are not subject to morality;
persons with mental disabilities;
women who experience cleansing days with their periods.

What does the Catholic Church say?

A newborn baby must appear before God immediately after birth, be cleansed of original sin, and unite with the church. This is how any religion argues and calls for baptisms to be carried out at an early age. The process of carrying out the ritual is the same almost everywhere: the baby is washed with water from the font in the temple, the liturgy is read, and at the end a cross is put on. The only difference is the requirements that allow or prohibit believers from taking certain steps. The Catholic Church differs from the Orthodox Church on many issues, and the rite of the sacrament of baptism was no exception.

It all starts with the parents coming to the church a couple of weeks in advance to discuss with the priest (priest of the Catholic Church) all the issues related to preparation for the ceremony, setting a date, and agreeing with who will baptize the child. Godparents in the Catholic faith are endowed with important powers in the child’s life, which include the responsibility to take him to Sunday school and prepare him for religious rites (community, confirmation). The approach to choosing godparents is doubly complex here and is an important task for any believer.

In addition to the awareness and high responsibility of godparents, the Catholic faith has its own rules for choosing a spiritual father and mother. According to the requirements of the church, only people who:

They believe and practice Catholicism.
They do not have any family ties with the baby.
Have reached your 16th birthday. If the reasons are compelling, the abbot may make an exception.
Catholics by religion who have undergone the sacrament of First Communion and confirmation (confirmation). This is a ritual of anointing, which is performed in adulthood. This is how Catholics confirm that they accepted the faith consciously.
They are not the child's parents.
They are husband and wife.

How to lower cholesterol at home
Why women live longer than men
What to do to avoid getting infected if someone sneezes next to you

Controversial cases

Not only spouses, but also people planning to enter into a legal marriage cannot become godparents. Baptism is a highly significant spiritual sacrament that prohibits any carnal relationships between godfathers. If future godparents are not married, not married, but live in a civil marriage, then they cannot become the child’s adoptive parents. Such people, according to the canons of the church, lead an immoral lifestyle and will not be able to teach a child anything good.

Controversial cases - who can and who does not have the right to become godparents - are best resolved in a conversation with the priest.

Who can become godfather to a baby?

Baptism in infancy occurs according to the faith of the parents and the child's adoptive parents.

Godfather - baptized, believer, churched

The godfather or mother can be a believer, baptized in Orthodoxy, a churchgoer.

It is not needed to hold a child in church. The godfather vouches before God for the spiritual education of this person; on behalf of the baby, the godfather declares his devotion to Christ and renunciation of Satan. Agree, this is a very serious statement. And it presupposes the fulfillment of assigned duties: communion of a baby, spiritual conversations in a relaxed manner, one’s own example of a life of virtue.

Even a baptized but unchurched person is unlikely to be able to cope with such functions.

Responsibilities and Requirements

Choosing the right person is always difficult if for you the baptism of a child is nothing more than a formal ritual with nothing behind it. After all, you must be confident in this or that candidate, the spiritual purity of his personality, as well as good intentions. If a husband, for example, cheats on his wife, then even if he does not leave, it is better to choose another candidate.

sharing Christian values;
majority;
completed baptismal rite;
a sincere desire to take part in the life of the godson.