≡ 13 June 2020
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Can parents be present at this most important Christian sacrament?
Priest Sergei Baritsky answers:
- Of course they can, the only exception here may be for the mother if the child is baptized earlier than the 40th day from his birth. According to church tradition, up to 40 days after giving birth, a woman is considered unclean, which is associated with physiological processes in her body. Therefore, during this period she is prohibited from being present at the baby’s baptism, but she is allowed to stand in the vestibule of the temple.
In general, according to church tradition, a woman should spend the first day after giving birth in prayer; on the eighth day, the child is given a name; on the 40th day, a special prayer of repentant and permissive nature is read over the mother by the priest. It asks for thanksgiving to God for the child born, for the strength and health given to the mother, and then permission is given for this woman to receive communion, since she should not have received communion in the postpartum period.
This is perhaps the only time when one of the parents cannot be present at baptism. On the contrary, it is welcome for there to be a lot of people at the baby’s baptism. After all, this is a big holiday for the whole family and all relatives and friends should participate in it!
When can a baby be baptized, how to choose godparents and what is needed for the ceremony
Parents who decide to baptize a child immediately have many questions: how much time should pass from the moment the baby is born, how to choose godparents and a temple, what is needed for the ceremony itself.
At what age to baptize?
There are no clear frameworks; the church does not set a specific age for baptism.
In the old days, the sacrament of baptism was performed on the eighth day after the birth of a baby, but now most often on the 40th day. This is connected with the baby’s mother; she can appear in church only after forty days from the birth of the child.
Another reason for such an early ceremony is the temperament of the kids: when they are very small, they simply fall asleep in their arms and tolerate the procedure very easily.
In rare cases, a newborn is baptized a few hours after birth. This service is ordered directly to the hospital by parents of babies born with serious complications or prematurely.
Who can be godparents?
To carry out the ceremony, the baby must have godparents.
“They will be rewarded by showing diligence and taking part in the spiritual development of the godson,” St. John Chrysostom said about godparents.
Choosing a godfather and godmother is an important decision, because they will be responsible for the child before God, even more than the parents.
The church has some requirements for godparents:
The godmother must be over 13 years old, the godfather must be over 15 years old,
both must be baptized (at the ceremony they and their parents must wear crosses),
It is allowed that there may be one godparent. However, in this case he must be of the same sex as the baby,
Contrary to popular misconception, a pregnant woman can baptize her baby,
the church recommends fasting for three days before the ceremony, and on the day of baptism to abstain from sexual intercourse and eating,
godparents cannot be spouses before, during or after the child’s baptism (they must not have intimate relationships).
It so happened that usually it is the godparents who fully pay for the ceremony and everything that is needed for it - the baptismal attire and the cross. However, in each family, financial issues must be discussed individually.
Do not forget about the appearance of the godmother during the ceremony: bright makeup, trousers, a deep neckline, a skirt above the knees and bare shoulders are not welcome.
Shoes should be comfortable - the ceremony is quite long. All women present, including mother and godmother, must have scarves on their heads.
How to prepare for baptism?
Traditionally, the sacrament is performed in the church, therefore, preparation for the ceremony must begin with its selection.
Having approved the temple, talk to the priest who will conduct the ceremony and clarify with him some of the nuances:
Usually churches offer individual and general baptism, the difference is in price and number of babies. Consider which option is preferable for you,
before baptism, most churches hold a conversation for the godparents, check when and what time it will take place,
discuss in advance the name of the baby that he will be given during the ceremony,
find out the prices for baptism, on average they range from 500 to 3000 rubles,
ask for permission to take photos and videos,
discuss what you will need for the sacrament (they usually give you a list).
Which christening outfit to choose?
The market today offers a huge range of different options for baptismal outfits for babies. It remains to take into account some points.
Style. It is best to take a long, loose-fitting shirt for your child. This will make him comfortable, and it will be easier for mom to take it off.
Fabrics. Cotton, linen, and silk are preferred so that nothing irritates the baby’s skin.
Decoration. Minimal amount of finishing. The child may put small parts into his mouth during the ritual.
Color. It is better to choose light colors.
Also, don’t forget to purchase a new white towel (kryzhma) and a pectoral cross.
There are no requirements for the material of the cross: only individual preferences and financial capabilities play a role here.
Remember, baptismal items cannot be used in everyday life and should be stored for many years.
How is the baptism ceremony performed?
The ceremony itself takes place in three stages and lasts 40-50 minutes (depending on the number of babies and the priest who performs the baptism):
preparation - the godparents renounce Satan three times, read the “Creed” prayer; the priest anoints the baby - puts the seal of the Holy Spirit;
ablution - the child is dipped into the font. This moment is considered his second birth, during which he is already protected by a Guardian Angel, and responsibility for the baby is entrusted to the godparents.
completion - a cross is put on the baby, the godparents and the child walk around the font three times.
What is the best gift for a christening?
The traditional gift given by the godmother is a christening shirt or kryzhma - a white openwork diaper. The godfather should give a silver spoon at a christening.
In addition, you can give a practical gift that will be useful to the child in the future.
Gifts that are most often given for christenings: silver, money, a photo album with the baby's name, a ribbon or chain for a cross, earrings, a cross, clothes, a silver or gold bracelet with an engraved name of the child, the Bible, fairy tales, soft toys.
How is the sacrament of Baptism performed?
Baptism is the beginning of a person’s life as a full member of the Orthodox Church. It cleanses him from original sin, which weighs on everyone who has come into this world, and also allows him to further participate in church life and, most importantly, gives him the right to receive Holy Communion.
Children can be baptized at any age. If they are already big enough, then they themselves take an active part: answer the priest’s questions, say prayers. Infants and toddlers obviously need outside help, which they receive from their caregivers. The native father and mother can only look at everything that is happening.
Baptism is preceded by an announcement, during which the priest explains in detail the meaning of the “Symbol of Faith”, and also tells what and how to do. Therefore, during the greatest event itself, no mistakes or misunderstandings can occur.
The sacrament includes several rituals:
- three times renunciation of Satan and three times expression of desire to accept Orthodoxy (this is done by spiritual parents for a baby who cannot speak);
- anointing with oil;
- three times complete immersion in the font (in exceptional cases it is replaced only by dousing);
- laying a cross on the chest of the person being baptized;
- wearing a white baptismal shirt (kryzhma), symbolizing purity from sins;
- walking around the font three times, symbolizing eternity;
- cut hair;
- Confirmation - after this the Orthodox Christian receives the right to receive communion.
The kryzhma must be white, and decorations in the form of lace, embroidery, and rhinestones are not required for it. Tradition recommends preserving this outfit throughout your life as a memory.
The day on which the sacrament is performed is called Angel Day and becomes one of the main holidays in the life of a believer.
By the way
From Greek, “baptism” is translated as “immersion in water” and is the most important Christian sacrament. It is believed that it is through the rite of baptism that a child becomes a member of the church. Only baptized people can participate in all other church sacraments.
Tags: children • interesting • baptism • child • sacrament
Rules for mothers in the baptism of a child
Since the mother from birth becomes the main person for the child for a long time, the concern for organizing the child’s baptism also falls on her shoulders. Did you know that there are certain rules for a mother in baptizing her child? Here they are.
- If baptism is organized in the first 40 days after the birth of the baby, the woman is not allowed to go to church. During this period, she is still considered “unclean.” After 40 days it is already possible, but after a special cleansing prayer, which is read over the woman by a priest.
- When choosing godparents for your baby, remember that they cannot be non-Christians, minors, or people planning to get married. In addition, spiritual parents must be reliable and worthy of respect - their candidacies must be carefully considered.
- It is believed that the sacrament of the baptismal rite puts the child in the right frame of mind, but children sometimes get capricious and cry - don’t worry, the process can be interrupted and continued after the mother calms the little one down.
- There are certain traditions in the baptism of a child: the rules for the mother are to wear a skirt or dress and be sure to cover her head. There are no strict regulations regarding shoes, but baptism is a long process, choose something comfortable.
Remember that when you decide to baptize a child, you take on great responsibility. You need to instill faith in your child, otherwise, why do all this?
Straight Talk
But, besides this, you should have a preliminary conversation with the priest. Today, many churches themselves practice meetings with parents. In conversation, they learn about people's true intentions.
Now the Sacrament of wedding or baptism is perceived as something ordinary and necessary. In turn, many people do not even understand the essence of rituals. Each ritual for them is a kind of tribute to fashion. Others are forced to perform these ceremonies by older relatives. Because of this, the great rituals lost their festivity.
That's why priests talk. Important topics are raised in conversations that parents did not even think about when planning the baptism of their child. What do mom and dad need to know to pass the “test”? At least the main dogmas, commandments. Of course, you should recite at least two prayers by heart: “Our Father” and “I Believe.”
The Temple of God is like a home
The Sacrament (baptism of a child) requires a lot of knowledge and details. What does mom need to know about the place where the ritual will take place? The most correct answer is everything. The fact is that parents who decide to introduce their child to Christianity must be believers and, therefore, constantly attend church. Typically a family goes to the same church for years. There are cases when a person is baptized, married and buried in the same church.
When a layman often attends services, goes to the shrine not only on holidays, but also on Sundays, receives communion and confesses to one priest, then the church turns not just into a building with domes, but into a home. In this case, parents know all the necessary rules. They must tell their godfathers about the nuances in their temple.
Sometimes fate develops in such a way that a child has to be baptized in an unfamiliar church. What do mom and dad need to know about the priest and the shrine? The main thing is that they correspond to the Orthodox faith.
Family and spiritual connection
Priests who are not closely acquainted with the family will not be able to clearly monitor compliance with all the rules. Therefore, this mission falls on the godfathers. All recipients are responsible for the baptism of the baby. What does a godmother need to know? That she cannot complete such a mission if her husband or fiancé is standing next to her. The fact is that in this way people are united by a spiritual connection. In fact, they become relatives. And such a union is worth much higher than marriage. If young people baptized one child, and then fell in love and decided to get married, then this is possible. But all information should be honestly told to the priest.
People living in a civil marriage can also become recipients. From a religious point of view, such persons sin because they do not legitimize their relationships. But they are not family before the Lord. On the other hand, what can people who spread fornication teach a child?
Religious rules and folk myths
Sometimes it emerges from a conversation that parents are as incompetent in religious matters as their children. Then the priest agrees to perform the ritual only on the condition that the unreasonable mother and father reform. After all, people who do not understand the foundations of their faith will not be able to give the necessary knowledge to a child. Accordingly, the Sacrament will be nothing more than a formality.
In addition, other questions are raised, for example, the topic of godparents. In a one-on-one conversation with the priest, you can understand where the border between religious rules and popular superstitions is.
There are many nuances that prohibit certain persons from even watching the baptism of a child. What the godmother and father who have been invited to become godmothers need to know is that they will not be able to fulfill their mission if they profess a different religion. No matter how much the priest’s parents may ask in this case, he will not agree to perform the sacrament with people of other faiths. The fact is that such people will not be able to teach the child Orthodox traditions. If this nuance is kept silent, then the sin will fall on everyone who was in the conspiracy.
First couple's mission
In the case when such a situation occurred due to ignorance, no one will re-baptize the child. This ritual is performed only once in a lifetime. But the baby can still communicate with the receivers.
There is another topic that is often raised before a child is baptized. What do godmothers and fathers need to know if they are participating in the Sacrament for the first time? People often say that a woman should be the first to hold a boy, and a man should be the first to hold a girl. Otherwise, adults transfer all their happiness to the child. Orthodox people should not rely on such superstitions. Moreover, in fact, everything is the other way around. From a religious point of view, only the person from the first couple (the gender must be the same as the godson) is perceived by heaven as a true recipient. That is, only the first godfather is the named mother for the girl, and the godfather is for the boy. These people bear the greatest responsibility for the fate of the child.
