Godparents - what are they needed for and who can become

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See sections: THE SACRAMENT OF BAPTISM, ABOUT THE BAPTISM OF CHILDREN

• Responsibilities of godparents
• Who can be godfather
• Does the Church really teach that marriage between godparents is inadmissible according to Article 211 of the Nomocanon?
• Can pregnant and unmarried women become godparents?
• At what age do you not need a godfather?
• How to baptize a child if one or more family members are against it?
• What to give to your godson
• Godparents and godchildren: informal relationships Ya. Zverev, V. Buzynkina
• Prayers for children and godchildren

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The godfather ( recipient) is in the Sacrament of Baptism, a guarantor for the faith of the person being baptized, obligated to instruct him in the rules of Christian life.

The baptism of an infant is performed according to the faith of the recipients, who have the sacred duty to teach children the true faith and help them become worthy members of the Church of Christ.

After the baby is immersed in the baptismal font, the godfather receives him from the hands of the priest. Hence the Slavic name - receiver. Thus, he takes upon himself the responsibility for life to raise the child in the Orthodox spirit, and the answer for this upbringing will be given at the Last Judgment.

During the Baptism of infants, the recipients pronounce (confess) in their place the Creed, pronounce vows and take care of teaching faith and morality to those received by them (VI Ecumenical Sob., rights. 53; Carth., rights. 54, Trebnik).

The custom of having a recipient at Baptism dates back to the most ancient Apostolic Tradition.

The presence of two receivers is a Russian tradition. According to the rules of the Church, one godfather is enough: a godfather for a boy and a godmother for a girl. In practice, gender mismatch is tolerated.

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^ Responsibilities of godparents

Godparents have 3 main responsibilities towards their godchildren:

1. Prayer room . The godfather is obliged to pray for his godson, and also, as he grows up, to teach prayer, so that the godson himself can communicate with God, thank the Creator and ask Him for help in all life circumstances.
2. Moral . Using your own example, you must show your child human virtues - love, kindness, mercy, etc., so that the child grows up to be a truly good Christian.
3. Doctrinal . Teach the godson the basics of the Christian faith. (If you yourself are not sufficiently informed, then there will be a reason to undergo at least public conversations (catechesis).

Who cannot be among the godparents according to church rules?

For newborn boys and girls, before choosing adopters, it is necessary to know who can and cannot become them.

The priest will refuse to perform the Sacrament of Baptism if the following are chosen as recipients:

• representatives of other religions, pagans, atheists;
• the parents themselves;
• monastics;
• mentally ill and immoral people;

• drunk;
• young children.

Can godparents be husband and wife or become one in the future? There are no canons prohibiting this in Orthodoxy. In 2022, the Council of Bishops updated the permission for marriages of successors with the blessing of the diocesan bishop. Such permission existed before, but a tradition has developed to prohibit such marriages.

^Who can be godfather

• The godparent must be an Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be someone who has fallen away from the Church (who does not regularly receive communion), a representative of another religion, or an atheist. The recipient is required not only to know the Creed and read it at Baptism, but also to provide spiritual education for the godson in the future and daily prayer for him.
• The godfather must be a churchgoer, ready to regularly take his godson to church and raise him in the Christian faith.
• After the Sacrament of Baptism has been performed, the godfather cannot be changed, even if he has gone missing or fallen from the faith.
• Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents to both boys and girls.
• The father and mother of the child cannot be godparents; other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.
• A person should only have one godparent. According to the Trebnik, only one recipient is considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person. Having a second godfather is only a pious tradition.
• Monks and nuns are not allowed to be ordained.
• The rite of the Sacrament of Baptism assumes the presence of recipients in person during its celebration. As a last resort, infant baptism is allowed even without recipients.
• Marriages between the baptized person and the recipient are prohibited: the recipient cannot marry his spiritual daughter, and the godfather cannot marry the widowed mother of his spiritual daughter (VI Ecumenical Sob., Rights. 53).

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It is reckless to invite a non-church person to be godparents: what can someone who does not know the subject teach? It’s like choosing a guide on a dangerous journey, where the price at stake is life (in our case, Eternal), a rogue who does not know the route.

It is also unreasonable for a church person to take vows before God to raise a child in the Christian faith, whose parents are not only outside the Church, but also do not intend to become a church member, to instill their child in Christ the Savior.

If you are invited to be a foster parent by parents who are not only not against baptizing a child, but are themselves ready to become members of the church community, then it is reasonable, before taking your own vows, to make your parents vow to fulfill the Commandments, to pray daily for their children, come to church with them, try to give them communion weekly. Ideally, it would be good to advise parents to go to Sunday school or catechesis classes: after a couple of classes it will be clear whether they are serious about spiritual life, or whether they view Baptism as a magical rite.

According to the ancient church rule, during the Baptism of infants, only one recipient was considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person (Great Trebnik, Chapter 5, “see”). The rule about “being one recipient at Baptism” belonged to the first centuries of Christianity and was strictly observed in the Eastern and Western Churches until the 9th century. In our time, the custom of having two godparents at Baptism has become widespread: the godfather and the godmother.

Only Orthodox recipients or recipients have ecclesiastical significance. Their names are remembered in prayers and included in certificates of Baptism. The recipient “represents the person of the person being baptized and makes vows to God for him, makes the Symbol, confesses and is obliged to instruct the adopted son in the faith and law of God, which neither an ignoramus in the faith nor a person of other faith can do” (Book on the Positions of Parish Presbyters, 80).

According to the practice of the ancient Church, just as non-Christians are never allowed to adopt children, it is also indecent for an Orthodox Christian to be the foster child of non-Christian parents, except in those cases when the children are baptized into the Orthodox faith. The canons of the Church also do not provide for such a case as participation at baptism as a recipient of a non-Orthodox person.

Insane people, completely ignorant of the faith, as well as criminals, obvious sinners, and those who came to church drunk, cannot be recipients. For example, those who, due to negligence, have not attended confession and Holy Communion for a long time cannot give guidance and edification in life to their godchildren. Minors (under 14 years of age) cannot be recipients, since they are still incapable of teaching and are not firm in their understanding of the faith and power of the Sacrament (except in those cases when it is completely impossible to have an adult recipient).

The Ancient Russian Church did not know such a rule that would eliminate monks from succession. It is known that the godfathers of our Russian grand ducal and royal children were mostly monks. Only later were monks prohibited from succession because it involves the monk in communication with the world (Nomocanon at the Great Trebnik). Parents cannot be recipients of their own children from the baptismal font. It is inconvenient for a woman who is in normal purification to be a recipient. In such cases, you can postpone Baptism or invite another recipient.

Church rules do not prohibit siblings, father and daughter, or mother and son from being the adoptive parents of the same baby. Currently, priests do not allow husband and wife to share the same child. In order to prevent violations of existing rules regarding godparents, the priest usually learns in advance from parents who they want to have as godparents for their children.

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Baptism of a child: who cannot be appointed godparent

When choosing from friends or relatives the one who will accept this honorable duty, it is necessary to take into account the rules adopted by the Orthodox Church, which do not allow everyone to participate in the rite of baptism.

1. There is a decree of the Holy Synod, according to which a girl over 13 years old can become a godmother, and a young man who is 15 years old can become a godfather.
2. Spouses cannot become godfathers and godmothers.
3. Such responsibilities cannot be delegated to non-believers or people of other faiths.
4. It is unacceptable for those leading an unrighteous lifestyle to become godparents: alcoholics, drug addicts, riotous women, insane individuals.
5. Real parents cannot act as godparents.
6. According to popular beliefs, pregnant women are not taken as godmothers, although Orthodox canons do not prohibit this.
7. Another popular sign is that the godson and godfather should not have the same name.

Is there any special preparation for recipients before the ceremony?

You should also pay attention to preparing for christening. The most correct step would be to contact your confessor or priest for advice. However, you should know that usually before the sacrament it is necessary to confess and receive communion. Before this, you need to fast (the priest should tell you about the number of days). You may need additional actions, such as reading prayers, spiritual literature, etc. It is also advisable not to attend noisy parties, various entertainment venues, or watch TV at this time. It is advisable to devote all your free time to prayer.

If this is your first time in the role of godfather, then it is advisable to familiarize yourself with how the sacrament is performed, what prayers are read, and what the order of chants is. This is necessary because when you become a spiritual educator of a little person, you need more than just a formal presence. Sincere prayer is necessary, which should not stop even after the completion of the sacrament, because this is the essence of becoming a godparent.

More details about what responsibilities the godfather has during this ritual will be discussed below.

Necessary items for the ceremony

You should talk in more detail about what items are needed for this ritual:

• Kryzhma. This is a special towel on which a cross is embroidered or simply depicted. A child is wrapped in it during anointing, as well as when prayers of prohibition are read. Sometimes the baby's name and the date of his baptism are embroidered on such a towel.
• Baptismal swaddling cloth. This is not an entirely necessary attribute, but it should be there when it’s cold. This diaper is used to wipe the baby after dipping into the font, and then wrap it again in the kryzhma.
• Clothes for baptism. This could be a christening set (dress) for a girl or a special shirt for a boy. It is advisable that these clothes be purchased as a gift by the baby’s successor.
• It is necessary to have a pectoral cross with you for a future Christian. Usually it is acquired by the godfather. Responsibilities at baptism for him, of course, are not limited only to this acquisition, but they will be written about them below.
• It is necessary to take with you an envelope for the baby's cut hair.
• You should also purchase icons for the child and make a donation to the temple (this is an optional condition).

How were christenings celebrated in ancient times?

Previously, as now, christenings were a very significant event in people's lives. This sacrament was necessarily performed no later than two months after the baby was born, and sometimes earlier, on the eighth day. This happened because there used to be a high infant mortality rate, so it was very important for loved ones to baptize the child before the irreparable happened, so that his soul would go to heaven.

The celebration of the little man's joining the church was celebrated with a large number of guests. This was especially noticeable in large villages. Many people gathered for such a holiday, who came with gifts and best wishes for the baby. At the same time, they brought mainly various pastries - kulebyaki, pies, pretzels. In the house where the little man lived, a sumptuous table was laid for the guests, and there was practically no alcohol (there could only be red wine in very small quantities).

There were traditional holiday dishes. For example, a rooster baked in porridge for a boy or a chicken for a girl. There were also a lot of shaped baked goods, which symbolized wealth, fertility, and longevity.

It was customary to invite the midwife to the table, who would receive the baby. They could also call the priest who performed the baptismal ceremony. During the celebration, numerous songs were sung, thus wishing the child all the best. They saw off all the guests, presenting each with sweets.