“Godparents and parents must teach the child to live like a Christian”

Audio version of the article

See sections: THE SACRAMENT OF BAPTISM, ABOUT THE BAPTISM OF CHILDREN

• Responsibilities of godparents
• Who can be godfather
• Does the Church really teach that marriage between godparents is inadmissible according to Article 211 of the Nomocanon?
• Can pregnant and unmarried women become godparents?
• At what age do you not need a godfather?
• How to baptize a child if one or more family members are against it?
• What to give to your godson
• Godparents and godchildren: informal relationships Ya. Zverev, V. Buzynkina
• Prayers for children and godchildren

***

The godfather ( recipient) is in the Sacrament of Baptism, a guarantor for the faith of the person being baptized, obligated to instruct him in the rules of Christian life.

The baptism of an infant is performed according to the faith of the recipients, who have the sacred duty to teach children the true faith and help them become worthy members of the Church of Christ.

After the baby is immersed in the baptismal font, the godfather receives him from the hands of the priest. Hence the Slavic name - receiver. Thus, he takes upon himself the responsibility for life to raise the child in the Orthodox spirit, and the answer for this upbringing will be given at the Last Judgment.

During the Baptism of infants, the recipients pronounce (confess) in their place the Creed, pronounce vows and take care of teaching faith and morality to those received by them (VI Ecumenical Sob., rights. 53; Carth., rights. 54, Trebnik).

The custom of having a recipient at Baptism dates back to the most ancient Apostolic Tradition.

The presence of two receivers is a Russian tradition. According to the rules of the Church, one godfather is enough: a godfather for a boy and a godmother for a girl. In practice, gender mismatch is tolerated.

***

^ Responsibilities of godparents

Godparents have 3 main responsibilities towards their godchildren:

1. Prayer room . The godfather is obliged to pray for his godson, and also, as he grows up, to teach prayer, so that the godson himself can communicate with God, thank the Creator and ask Him for help in all life circumstances.
2. Moral . Using your own example, you must show your child human virtues - love, kindness, mercy, etc., so that the child grows up to be a truly good Christian.
3. Doctrinal . Teach the godson the basics of the Christian faith. (If you yourself are not sufficiently informed, then there will be a reason to undergo at least public conversations (catechesis).

What happens at Epiphany

In Baptism, a person renounces the devil and sin, declares his desire to unite with God and become a member of the Christian Church. Renunciation of evil is necessary for all people, and not just those who could consciously “swear allegiance” to the devil. After all, each of us was born with a nature already damaged by original sin and vulnerable to evil.

Saint Gregory the Theologian points out that

“The grace and power of Baptism... cleanses sin in every person and completely washes away all uncleanness and defilement brought by the damage of <original sin>” (“Creations”).

The Creed is pronounced, containing the basic tenets of Orthodoxy. The priest reads special prayers. The person being baptized is immersed in water three times in the name of the Holy Trinity and puts on a pectoral cross. By the Holy Spirit a person is sanctified and cleansed from all sins. He is spiritually reborn and begins a new life in Christ.

Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk notes that in Baptism we

“we are freed from death and the devil’s power and come to the kingdom of Christ” (“On True Christianity”).

The grace given at Baptism spiritually strengthens a Christian, helps him in the fight against sins and the salvation of the soul. Then follows the Sacrament of Confirmation. The baptized person is anointed with holy oil with prayers, which is a symbol of the imposition of the seal of the Holy Spirit. Also, part of the person’s hair is cut off. This is how one expresses one's dedication to God and submission to Him.

The sacrament of Baptism is performed once in a lifetime. Spiritual birth, like physical birth, is possible only once and for all. But Baptism cannot save a person if he himself does not strive for this and does not live a Christian life. Genuine Christian life is diligent spiritual work on oneself, prayerful communication with God, doing good deeds, regular participation in divine services and church Sacraments.

“Mysterious rebirth and purification... takes place in Baptism, but to remain pure in the subsequent time and not allow any defilement to come to us again - this depends on our will and care” (Complete Works of St. John Chrysostom).

^Who can be godfather

• The godparent must be an Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be someone who has fallen away from the Church (who does not regularly receive communion), a representative of another religion, or an atheist. The recipient is required not only to know the Creed and read it at Baptism, but also to provide spiritual education for the godson in the future and daily prayer for him.
• The godfather must be a churchgoer, ready to regularly take his godson to church and raise him in the Christian faith.
• After the Sacrament of Baptism has been performed, the godfather cannot be changed, even if he has gone missing or fallen from the faith.
• Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents to both boys and girls.
• The father and mother of the child cannot be godparents; other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.
• A person should only have one godparent. According to the Trebnik, only one recipient is considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person. Having a second godfather is only a pious tradition.
• Monks and nuns are not allowed to be ordained.
• The rite of the Sacrament of Baptism assumes the presence of recipients in person during its celebration. As a last resort, infant baptism is allowed even without recipients.
• Marriages between the baptized person and the recipient are prohibited: the recipient cannot marry his spiritual daughter, and the godfather cannot marry the widowed mother of his spiritual daughter (VI Ecumenical Sob., Rights. 53).

* * *

It is reckless to invite a non-church person to be godparents: what can someone who does not know the subject teach? It’s like choosing a guide on a dangerous journey, where the price at stake is life (in our case, Eternal), a rogue who does not know the route.

It is also unreasonable for a church person to take vows before God to raise a child in the Christian faith, whose parents are not only outside the Church, but also do not intend to become a church member, to instill their child in Christ the Savior.

If you are invited to be a foster parent by parents who are not only not against baptizing a child, but are themselves ready to become members of the church community, then it is reasonable, before taking your own vows, to make your parents vow to fulfill the Commandments, to pray daily for their children, come to church with them, try to give them communion weekly. Ideally, it would be good to advise parents to go to Sunday school or catechesis classes: after a couple of classes it will be clear whether they are serious about spiritual life, or whether they view Baptism as a magical rite.

According to the ancient church rule, during the Baptism of infants, only one recipient was considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person (Great Trebnik, Chapter 5, “see”). The rule about “being one recipient at Baptism” belonged to the first centuries of Christianity and was strictly observed in the Eastern and Western Churches until the 9th century. In our time, the custom of having two godparents at Baptism has become widespread: the godfather and the godmother.

Only Orthodox recipients or recipients have ecclesiastical significance. Their names are remembered in prayers and included in certificates of Baptism. The recipient “represents the person of the person being baptized and makes vows to God for him, makes the Symbol, confesses and is obliged to instruct the adopted son in the faith and law of God, which neither an ignoramus in the faith nor a person of other faith can do” (Book on the Positions of Parish Presbyters, 80).

According to the practice of the ancient Church, just as non-Christians are never allowed to adopt children, it is also indecent for an Orthodox Christian to be the foster child of non-Christian parents, except in those cases when the children are baptized into the Orthodox faith. The canons of the Church also do not provide for such a case as participation at baptism as a recipient of a non-Orthodox person.

Insane people, completely ignorant of the faith, as well as criminals, obvious sinners, and those who came to church drunk, cannot be recipients. For example, those who, due to negligence, have not attended confession and Holy Communion for a long time cannot give guidance and edification in life to their godchildren. Minors (under 14 years of age) cannot be recipients, since they are still incapable of teaching and are not firm in their understanding of the faith and power of the Sacrament (except in those cases when it is completely impossible to have an adult recipient).

The Ancient Russian Church did not know such a rule that would eliminate monks from succession. It is known that the godfathers of our Russian grand ducal and royal children were mostly monks. Only later were monks prohibited from succession because it involves the monk in communication with the world (Nomocanon at the Great Trebnik). Parents cannot be recipients of their own children from the baptismal font. It is inconvenient for a woman who is in normal purification to be a recipient. In such cases, you can postpone Baptism or invite another recipient.

Church rules do not prohibit siblings, father and daughter, or mother and son from being the adoptive parents of the same baby. Currently, priests do not allow husband and wife to share the same child. In order to prevent violations of existing rules regarding godparents, the priest usually learns in advance from parents who they want to have as godparents for their children.

***

The meaning of the Sacrament of Baptism

Before you find out the answer to the question “at what age can you be a godmother?”, it is worth understanding the meaning of Baptism. This is one of the seven church sacraments, including the Eucharist, Confession and others. A sacrament is not just a religious rite, it is a special invisible action of God himself. It is in Baptism that a person becomes a Christian, part of the Holy Church. Priest Mikhail Pomazansky says that Baptism

“serves as a door leading into the Church and gives access to participation in other sacraments.”

Baby during Baptism in the arms of his godmother

Nuances

What is conscience, faith, mercy, patience, selfless love, how to understand the boundaries between evil and good: at every meeting, spiritual parents should tell the godson about all this. This is the most important gift!

The money tree pleases with lush flowering: my secret is in caring for the leaves

Why French children behave well: eight ways to raise them

Smooth and fresh skin: dermaplaning, or why a woman needs to shave her face

It is difficult to accept and understand this postulate. It’s customary for us to bring toys, money to the godson’s house, and spend time with the baby idly. This is good, of course. But people often forget that godparents are, first of all, spiritual guides.

A child can only be baptized once. You cannot re-baptize your baby, no matter what happens!

Two or one

The personal presence of a godfather at the baptism of a boy and a godmother at the baptism of a girl is mandatory. You cannot become a godparent remotely, because this directly contradicts the canons of the sacrament, in which the godparent must read prayers and make vows for the godson. The first vow is renunciation of the devil, a promise not to sin and not to resist God's will. The second is to believe in Christ and do good deeds.

In the first centuries of Christianity, baptism was performed according to gender. The man was baptized by a deacon, the woman by a deaconess. They became godparents. And today, according to the Trebnik, only one godfather is needed: for a boy - a man, for a girl - a woman. But according to tradition, which has taken root in Russia since the 15th century, one child can have two godparents - a woman and a man. By analogy with two physiological parents.

At what age can you be a godfather?

Church rules have age restrictions for those who take on the responsibilities of a godparent. Recipients must be adults who have reached the age of 17 years. In exceptional cases, with the blessing of the confessor, persons of an earlier age may be selected for this purpose:

• from the age of 15 - godfather;
• from the age of 13 - godmother.

It must be remembered that age is not the main advantage of godparents. There are more important points in choosing receivers.

Baptism ceremony

Christening

Christening is a home celebration, a festive dinner on the day of the baptism ceremony. Previously, only the most dear and close people came on this day to visit the newborn and parents. Only married women who had children could visit the baby.

Today, not only family friends and relatives come to christenings, but also work colleagues. As a rule, expensive gifts and a lot of treats are brought to this holiday in order to save the still weakened hostess from unnecessary worries and worries associated with preparing the table.

Found a violation? Report content

Parents

In his essay “Nomocanon at the Great Trebnik,” Professor A. Pavlov mentioned that the ancient Church did not forbid parents to become godparents for their children. According to A. Pavlov, parents already perform the functions of receivers, taking care of the moral education of their children. The ban appeared later, with an eye on the spiritual kinship acquired at baptism or wedding.

Today, a mother and father can baptize a baby without a child. The only exception is the baptism of a newborn before the 40th day after birth. In this case, a special “cleansing” prayer on the 40th day should be read over the mother.

What should a godfather be like?

Not everyone can become recipients of baptism. There are a number of conditions that candidates for godparents must meet:

• churching;
• knowledge of the fundamentals of the Orthodox faith;
• the desire and opportunity to become a spiritual mentor for the recipient;
• good, strong relationships with the family of the newly baptized child.

Godparents must be in close proximity to the newly baptized child. Live in the same city, and preferably not far away, in order to take the little Christian to church for every Sunday and holiday service. Have good, friendly relations with the parents of your godson, so that they are completely trusted and there are no contradictions or worries.