Pride, vanity and self-esteem

From the heritage of the Optina elders

In the world, pride and pride are sometimes considered almost virtues and signs of nobility of nature. This idea is erroneous and happens, in the words of St. Macarius, “out of ignorance or from darkened passions.” The elder wrote to his spiritual child:

“In your previous letter you mention more than once about your pride and as if you respect it, flaunt it like some kind of utensil. We must exterminate it from ourselves by all means; it is the cause of all our evils and vices. Worldly people still consider it virtue and nobility - and this is out of ignorance or from the darkening of passions; but we need to resist him in everything with humility and self-sacrifice.”

God opposes the proud

Pride and vanity are among the most dangerous passions. The Optina elders spoke and wrote a lot about the fight against these passions. The Monk Leo sadly called vanity “a poison that kills the fruits of even the most mature virtues.”

“This passion often extends from youth to old age and to the very grave. She not only pursues the passionate and successful, but sometimes even the perfect, which is why she requires considerable caution. The dispassionate Creator can only eradicate it. Oh, how difficult it is to avoid this poison, which kills the fruits and the most mature virtues.”

The Monk Barsanuphius spoke about pride as a demonic property:

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Why is it not said that God opposes fornicators, or the envious, or anyone else, but it is said: specifically the proud? Because this is a demonic quality. The proud one becomes, as it were, akin to a demon.”

The Monk Nikon warned:

“One should not be vain about health, beauty, or other gifts of God... Everything earthly is fragile: both beauty and health. We must thank the Lord, thank with humility, recognizing our unworthiness, and not be vain about anything.”

The Monk Ambrose warned that nothing hinders success in spiritual life more than pride and vanity, and the offspring of these passions are envy and hatred, anger and resentment:

“All of us, more or less, are more or less afflicted with vanity and pride. And nothing hinders success in spiritual life more than these passions. Where there is indignation, or disagreement, or discord, if you look closely, it turns out that the majority of this is due to love of glory and pride.

Why does the Apostle Paul command, saying: “We are not vainglorious, annoying one another, envious of one another” (Gal. 5:26). Envy and hatred, anger and resentment are the common offspring of vanity and pride.”

Vanity and pride, although of the same origin, but their action and signs are different

“Vanity and pride are one and the same. Vanity shows off its deeds so that people can see how you walk, how cleverly you do. And after that pride begins to despise everyone. Just as a worm first crawls and bends, so does vanity. And when his wings grow, his pride flies upward.”

And to show how pride and vanity differ from each other and how they affect a person, the Monk Ambrose even composed a story about ducks and geese personifying these passions. The reason for this story was a carpet with images of ducks given to the elder:

“They recently gave me a carpet on which ducks are beautifully depicted. I regretted that they didn’t think of putting out the geese right away, since there was still a lot of space left on the carpet. This thought came to me because the properties and actions of ducks and geese well depict the properties and actions of passions: vanity and pride.

Vanity and pride, although of the same leaven and the same property, but their action and signs are different. Vanity tries to catch the praise of people and for this it often humiliates itself and pleases people, while pride breathes contempt and disrespect for others, although it also loves praise.

A vain person, if he has a plausible and beautiful appearance, then pretenses himself like a drake and boasts of his beauty, although he is often baggy and awkward, just like a drake. If the one overcome by vanity does not have a good appearance and other good qualities, then for the sake of surprise and praise he pleases people and shouts like a duck: “So! So!" - when in reality this is not always the case in justice, and he himself is often internally disposed differently, but out of cowardice he adds up.

The goose, when something doesn’t suit him, raises his wings and shouts: “Kaga! kago!” Likewise, a proud person, if he has any significance in his circle, often raises his voice, shouts, argues, objects, insists on his opinion. If someone who is sick with pride in his environment does not have any weight or significance, then out of inner anger he hisses at others, like a goose sitting on eggs, and bites whomever he can bite...”

What are you proud of?

There are a lot of people who have nothing to be proud of at all. On this occasion, the Monk Ambrose relayed the following story:

“One confessor told her confessor that she was proud. “What are you proud of? - he asked her. “You’re probably noble?” “No,” she answered. - “Well, talented?” - "No". - “So, you’re rich?” - "No". “Hm... In that case, you can be proud,” the confessor finally said.”

“There is nothing to be exalted with: God gives the word. A person cannot say a kind word on his own. Every good word is from God. It is said: “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory” (Ps. 113:9).”

Pointing out that a person has nothing to be proud of, the elder added:

“And why should a person really rise up here? The ragged, plucked man begs for alms: “Have mercy, have mercy!” But whether mercy will come, who knows.”

How to identify signs of humility or pride in yourself

The Monk Macarius wrote about the main signs that a person has humility or pride:

“Let the following be a sign of humility and pride for you: the second stares at everyone, reproaches and sees blackness in them, while the first sees only his own badness and does not dare to judge anyone.”

Reverend Anatoly (Zertsalov) taught his children that sometimes excessive embarrassment in any matter also reveals hidden vanity:

“You are cowardly when singing out of vanity. You have a lot of it."

The sadness of God's punishment for the proud

The Monk Leo warned that the proud suffer various disasters:

“If you don’t put the blame on yourself, you won’t stop being poor, bearing the sorrow of God’s punishment for the proud.”

It is very difficult to get rid of pride

It is very difficult to get rid of pride. If a person thinks that he is no longer proud, that he has already acquired humility, then this clearly, according to Elder Macarius, proves his pride:

“In your letter you called yourself humble (of course, this is out of ignorance), but you have not yet reached this measure to be humble. When we acquired this wealth, we would conveniently acquire all the virtues. Yes, it alone, without other virtues, can save us, but virtues without it, on the contrary, do not bring any benefit. He who acquires humility has acquired God. This is all the teaching of Saint Isaac, the great man.

So you shouldn’t think that you are humble, but when you think, you clearly show your pride.”

Pride is inextricably linked with other passions

The Monk Ambrose said:

“Three rings cling to each other: hatred from anger, anger from pride.”

“Vanity does not give us peace, inciting us to jealousy and envy, which trouble a person, arousing a storm of thoughts in the soul.”

“If you stare at your eyes, that’s why you have thoughts, first vain, and then bad. Please note: they are certainly first vain, and then bad. Keep your head down, like this, don’t glare at the people.”

And the Monk Macarius warned that passions receive strength from pride, and humility, on the contrary, overthrows passions:

“But you need to know that all passions from our pride receive the power to defeat us, but, on the contrary, humility overthrows them.”

Pride alone can replace all other passions

It happens that a person’s pride is so great that other passions subside. The Monk Macarius instructed:

“One passion reproaches another: where there is self-love, there the love of money gives way, and vice versa happens. And we know that all vices sometimes leave a person, but one remains with him - pride.”

Such a person can outwardly behave impeccably and look with contempt at other people tormented by the passions of drinking or smoking or other passions. But in the gaze of this outwardly impeccable man there is such pride and narcissism, such exaltation of one’s own merits, that his pride alone is enough to destroy the soul. The elder warned:

“However, it happens, according to the word of St. John Climacus... that from some all passions are removed, except for one pride, which replaces all other passions, and therefore one must be careful not to bring chaff instead of fruit.”

How to deal with these passions

When fighting thoughts of arrogance and pride, St. Macarius advised not to be ashamed to reveal them in confession:

“The fact that the thoughts of the highly intelligent must be revealed and not be ashamed.”

The Monk Hilarion instructed, when thoughts of vanity and self-praise appear, to remind yourself that the main thing is humility, but we don’t have it. And the first proof of this is precisely the thoughts of vanity that come to us:

“Cut off thoughts of vanity and those who boast that humility is most pleasing to God, but you do not have it; therefore, nothing is good. So correct and

should be done."

Elder Joseph taught when thoughts of vanity appear to remember your sins:

“And when vanity rises, then it’s not bad to remember some sin, reproaching yourself.”

And Elder Ambrose gave this advice:

“If you respond to vanity by remembering your sins and laziness, you will see that there is nothing to boast about.”

“Man is like grass. He who is proud will wither like grass, but he who fears God will be shown mercy by the Lord.”

“You have to look down. Remember: “You are earth, and to earth you will go.”

“When pride attacks, tell yourself: there’s a weirdo walking around.”

“As soon as vanity comes, pray: “Lord, cleanse me from my secrets, and spare your servant from strangers.”

Sometimes a person tries with all his might to get rid of thoughts of pride and vanity, but he never succeeds. On this occasion, the Monk Ambrose wrote:

“The enemy’s noise continues to annoy you, and the enemies manage in every possible way to hurt your soul with the arrows of pride and exaltation.”

The elder advised in this case to first consider your spiritual disposition:

“First of all, consider your spiritual disposition, whether you are peaceful with everyone, whether you condemn anyone.”

The monk wrote to his spiritual child:

“...pray with humility to God with the psalm words: “Who understands the Fall; Cleanse me from my secrets, and spare your servant from those that are foreign.” All the holy fathers have a unanimous answer and advice in such cases: in every temptation, victory is humility, self-reproach and patience - of course, while asking for help from above. Pray for this to the Queen of Heaven and to all the saints of God in whom you have special faith, so that they will help you get rid of the charms of demons.”

“Our pride is the root of all evil. It is the beginning of all passions, it is the cause of all our disasters and suffering, sometimes at the present time, and sometimes as a consequence of previous mistakes... The ax to destroy the root of self-love is faith, humility, obedience and cutting off all desires and understandings.”

Pride can also be overcome by work and sorrow. The Monk Ambrose said:

“You have to work a lot, accept a lot of wounds, so as not to die from pride. When we are not touched or pushed, pride lives in us until the end of our lives.”

Pride is hidden in the very desire to quickly rise to the heights of virtues

Pride and vanity are hidden in our very desire to instantly get rid of all passions and quickly ascend to the heights of virtues. In this, according to the Monk Leo, spiritual pride is hidden:

“You, wanting to please God, want to quickly ascend to the heights of virtues and think this is possible from you, which clearly proves your spiritual pride (of which you are aware of yourself) ...”

Humility knows well that “virtue is not a pear: you can’t eat it right away.”

“Cleanse me from my secrets, and spare your servant from strangers” (Ps. 18: 13–14).

Our reverend fathers, the elders of Optina, pray to God for us sinners!

Source

Pride, vanity and self-esteem

In the world, pride and pride are sometimes considered almost virtues and signs of nobility of nature. This idea is erroneous and happens, in the words of St. Macarius, “out of ignorance or from darkened passions.” The elder wrote to his spiritual child:

“In your previous letter you mention more than once about your pride and as if you respect it, flaunt it like some kind of utensil.
We must exterminate it from ourselves by all means; it is the cause of all our evils and vices. Worldly people still consider it virtue and nobility - and this is out of ignorance or from the darkening of passions; but we need to resist him in everything with humility and self-sacrifice.” God opposes the proud

Pride and vanity are among the most dangerous passions. The Optina elders spoke and wrote a lot about the fight against these passions. The Monk Leo sadly called vanity “a poison that kills the fruits of even the most mature virtues.”

“This passion often extends from youth to old age and to the very grave. She not only pursues the passionate and successful, but sometimes even the perfect, which is why she requires considerable caution. The dispassionate Creator can only eradicate it. Oh, how difficult it is to avoid this poison, which kills the fruits and the most mature virtues.”

The Monk Barsanuphius spoke about pride as a demonic property:

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Why is it not said that God opposes fornicators, or the envious, or anyone else, but it is said: specifically the proud? Because this is a demonic quality. The proud one becomes, as it were, akin to a demon.”

The Monk Nikon warned:

“One should not be vain about health, beauty, or other gifts of God... Everything earthly is fragile: both beauty and health. We must thank the Lord, thank with humility, recognizing our unworthiness, and not be vain about anything.”

The Monk Ambrose warned that nothing hinders success in spiritual life more than pride and vanity, and the offspring of these passions are envy and hatred, anger and resentment:

“All of us, more or less, are more or less afflicted with vanity and pride. And nothing hinders success in spiritual life more than these passions. Where there is indignation, or disagreement, or discord, if you look closely, it turns out that the majority of this is due to love of glory and pride.

Why does the Apostle Paul command, saying: “We are not vainglorious, annoying one another, envious of one another” (Gal. 5:26). Envy and hatred, anger and resentment are the common offspring of vanity and pride.”

Vanity and pride, although of the same origin, but their action and signs are different

The Monk Ambrose instructed:

“Vanity and pride are one and the same. Vanity shows off its deeds so that people can see how you walk, how cleverly you do. And after that pride begins to despise everyone. Just as a worm first crawls and bends, so does vanity. And when his wings grow, his pride flies upward.”

And to show how pride and vanity differ from each other and how they affect a person, the Monk Ambrose even composed a story about ducks and geese personifying these passions. The reason for this story was a carpet with images of ducks given to the elder:

“They recently gave me a carpet on which ducks are beautifully depicted. I regretted that they didn’t think of putting out the geese right away, since there was still a lot of space left on the carpet. This thought came to me because the properties and actions of ducks and geese well depict the properties and actions of passions: vanity and pride.

Vanity and pride, although of the same leaven and the same property, but their action and signs are different. Vanity tries to catch the praise of people and for this it often humiliates itself and pleases people, while pride breathes contempt and disrespect for others, although it also loves praise.

A vain person, if he has a plausible and beautiful appearance, then pretenses himself like a drake and boasts of his beauty, although he is often baggy and awkward, just like a drake. If the one overcome by vanity does not have a good appearance and other good qualities, then for the sake of surprise and praise he pleases people and shouts like a duck: “So! So!" - when in reality this is not always the case in justice, and he himself is often internally disposed differently, but out of cowardice he adds up.

The goose, when something doesn’t suit him, raises his wings and shouts: “Kaga! kago!” Likewise, a proud person, if he has any significance in his circle, often raises his voice, shouts, argues, objects, insists on his opinion. If someone who is sick with pride in his environment does not have any weight or significance, then out of inner anger he hisses at others, like a goose sitting on eggs, and bites whomever he can bite...”

What are you proud of?

There are a lot of people who have nothing to be proud of at all. On this occasion, the Monk Ambrose relayed the following story:

“One confessor told her confessor that she was proud. “What are you proud of? - he asked her. “You’re probably noble?” “No,” she answered. - “Well, talented?” - "No". - “So, you’re rich?” - "No". “Hm... In that case, you can be proud,” the confessor finally said.”

“There is nothing to be exalted with: God gives the word. A person cannot say a kind word on his own. Every good word is from God. It is said: “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory” (Ps. 113:9).”

Pointing out that a person has nothing to be proud of, the elder added:

“And why should a person really rise up here? The ragged, plucked man begs for alms: “Have mercy, have mercy!” But whether mercy will come, who knows.”

How to identify signs of humility or pride in yourself

The Monk Macarius wrote about the main signs that a person has humility or pride:

“Let the following be a sign of humility and pride for you: the second stares at everyone, reproaches and sees blackness in them, while the first sees only his own badness and does not dare to judge anyone.”

Reverend Anatoly (Zertsalov) taught his children that sometimes excessive embarrassment in any matter also reveals hidden vanity:

“You are cowardly when singing out of vanity. You have a lot of it."

The sadness of God's punishment for the proud

The Monk Leo warned that the proud suffer various disasters:

“If you don’t put the blame on yourself, you won’t stop being poor, bearing the sorrow of God’s punishment for the proud.”

It is very difficult to get rid of pride

It is very difficult to get rid of pride. If a person thinks that he is no longer proud, that he has already acquired humility, then this clearly, according to Elder Macarius, proves his pride:

“In your letter you called yourself humble (of course, this is out of ignorance), but you have not yet reached this measure to be humble. When we acquired this wealth, we would conveniently acquire all the virtues. Yes, it alone, without other virtues, can save us, but virtues without it, on the contrary, do not bring any benefit. He who acquires humility has acquired God. This is all the teaching of Saint Isaac, the great man.

So you shouldn’t think that you are humble, but when you think, you clearly show your pride.”

Pride is inextricably linked with other passions.
The Monk Ambrose said:

“Three rings cling to each other: hatred from anger, anger from pride.”

“Vanity does not give us peace, inciting us to jealousy and envy, which trouble a person, arousing a storm of thoughts in the soul.”

“If you stare at your eyes, that’s why you have thoughts, first vain, and then bad. Please note: they are certainly first vain, and then bad. Keep your head down, like this, don’t glare at the people.”

And the Monk Macarius warned that passions receive strength from pride, and humility, on the contrary, overthrows passions:

“But you need to know that all passions from our pride receive the power to defeat us, but, on the contrary, humility overthrows them.”

Pride alone can replace all other passions

It happens that a person’s pride is so great that other passions subside. The Monk Macarius instructed:

“One passion reproaches another: where there is self-love, there the love of money gives way, and vice versa happens. And we know that all vices sometimes leave a person, but one remains with him - pride.”

Such a person can outwardly behave impeccably and look with contempt at other people tormented by the passions of drinking or smoking or other passions. But in the gaze of this outwardly impeccable man there is such pride and narcissism, such exaltation of one’s own merits, that his pride alone is enough to destroy the soul. The elder warned:

“However, it happens, according to the word of St. John Climacus... that from some all passions are removed, except for one pride, which replaces all other passions, and therefore one must be careful not to bring chaff instead of fruit.”

How to deal with these passions

When fighting thoughts of arrogance and pride, St. Macarius advised not to be ashamed to reveal them in confession:

“The fact that the thoughts of the highly intelligent must be revealed and not be ashamed.”

The Monk Hilarion instructed, when thoughts of vanity and self-praise appear, to remind yourself that the main thing is humility, but we don’t have it. And the first proof of this is precisely the thoughts of vanity that come to us:

“Cut off thoughts of vanity and those who boast that humility is most pleasing to God, but you do not have it; therefore, nothing is good. So correct and

should be done."

Elder Joseph taught when thoughts of vanity appear to remember your sins:

“And when vanity rises, then it’s not bad to remember some sin, reproaching yourself.”

And Elder Ambrose gave this advice:

“If you respond to vanity by remembering your sins and laziness, you will see that there is nothing to boast about.”

The monk said:

“Man is like grass. He who is proud will wither like grass, but he who fears God will be shown mercy by the Lord.”

“You have to look down. Remember: “You are earth, and to earth you will go.”

“When pride attacks, tell yourself: there’s a weirdo walking around.”

The elder advised:

“As soon as vanity comes, pray: “Lord, cleanse me from my secrets, and spare your servant from strangers.”

Sometimes a person tries with all his might to get rid of thoughts of pride and vanity, but he never succeeds. On this occasion, the Monk Ambrose wrote:

“The enemy’s noise continues to annoy you, and the enemies manage in every possible way to hurt your soul with the arrows of pride and exaltation.”

The elder advised in this case to first consider your spiritual disposition:

“First of all, consider your spiritual disposition, whether you are peaceful with everyone, whether you condemn anyone.”

The monk wrote to his spiritual child:

“...pray with humility to God with the psalm words: “Who understands the Fall; Cleanse me from my secrets, and spare your servant from those that are foreign.” All the holy fathers have a unanimous answer and advice in such cases: in every temptation, victory is humility, self-reproach and patience - of course, while asking for help from above. Pray for this to the Queen of Heaven and to all the saints of God in whom you have special faith, so that they will help you get rid of the charms of demons.”

“Our pride is the root of all evil. It is the beginning of all passions, it is the cause of all our disasters and suffering, sometimes at the present time, and sometimes as a consequence of previous mistakes... The ax to destroy the root of self-love is faith, humility, obedience and cutting off all desires and understandings.”

Pride can also be overcome by work and sorrow. The Monk Ambrose said:

“You have to work a lot, accept a lot of wounds, so as not to die from pride. When we are not touched or pushed, pride lives in us until the end of our lives.”

Pride is hidden in the very desire to quickly rise to the heights of virtues

Pride and vanity are hidden in our very desire to instantly get rid of all passions and quickly ascend to the heights of virtues. In this, according to the Monk Leo, spiritual pride is hidden:

“You, wanting to please God, want to quickly ascend to the heights of virtues and think this is possible from you, which clearly proves your spiritual pride (of which you are aware of yourself) ...”

Humility knows well that “virtue is not a pear: you can’t eat it right away.”

“Cleanse me from my secrets, and spare your servant from strangers” (Ps. 18: 13–14).

Our reverend fathers, the elders of Optina, pray to God for us sinners!

SELF-LOVE

You consider self-love a noble feeling and think that out of self-love you make virtues - and this is pride, and from this I will grow to a high degree. The beginning of wisdom is the fear of God (Proverbs 1:7), and: with the fear of the Lord everyone turns away from evil (Proverbs 15:27), says the Holy Scripture, and not through self-love. Leave your opinion of self-love, that it is natural to you, and do good, avoiding evil - first out of the fear of God, and then you will reach the love of God - and not out of self-love, which is contrary to God (I, 148, 301-302) .

Self-love is not innate, but comes from sin. Was it not out of pride that the first angel fell, wanting to be equal to God? He himself invented it, but was not created that way, and with the same deceived the primordial ones, inspiring them: Be like gods. Having accepted this advice, they loved themselves, despising the commandment of God, and ate the forbidden fruit; As a result, both the mind and the will were darkened. You see, pride is not innate in a person, but comes from sin. The Holy Fathers teach us: one who loves himself cannot be loving of his brothers; when we are poor in spirit and humble in heart, according to the teaching of Christ, then self-love will be driven far away from us (I, 396, 688–689).

Through selfishness and pride we fall away from God

It is not surprising that you knew yourself little; you yourself are aware of your self-love, and it is this that blinds you, so as not to see your spiritual shortcomings, but to see your virtues or try to boast of them in front of people; but humility opens our eyes, and we can see even our small mistakes. Just as through self-love and pride we fall away from God and become darkened in darkness, so through humility we approach God and are enlightened. The Lord Himself, the King of glory, humbled Himself to the image of a servant and left Himself an example for us, so that we would follow His footsteps, and commanded us to learn from Him humility and meekness, where we will find peace (I, 396, 686).

Self-love blinds us to sin

You, describing your thoughts and feelings when dealing with her, wrote them to me with difficulty; and then she slandered me, as if I should feel disgust towards you for all this. When the Lord did not turn away sinners, but ate and drank with publicans and sinners and talked with them, then who am I that I dare turn away anyone. This is your sin or a vice of another kind - self-love: you don’t want to appear before me exposing your weakness. Is it really possible to describe only your corrections, and for me to praise you for this? No, it’s even useful to catch yourself in such and similar thoughts and feelings; and if in the struggle we see ourselves defeated, then we must recognize our weakness, and not be embarrassed that I have such shortcomings, but, having humbled ourselves, submit ourselves before God; but God looks upon the humble and helps them: that is why the Lord allows us to fall into some kind of weakness, so that, seeing our defilement, we would be humble and have a contrite and humble heart. I don’t think that I turn away from those who are in struggle, recognize themselves as weak and repent. It is even more necessary to have compassion for them: those who are healthy do not require a doctor, but those who are sick (I, 247, 476–477).

About conceit and suspiciousness

(From a letter from Father Seraphim).

Contents: About conceit, suspiciousness and demonic seduction. About suspiciousness. Two rules for getting rid of conceit. The cause of instability in church organizations.

About conceit and suspiciousness, demonic seduction and spiritual vision.

O. Seraphim: In our time, due to the general spirit of selfishness and pride, conceit has greatly increased in people. For this reason, my advice to you is to fight against conceit and suspiciousness, because you very often attribute to a person something that he does not have in his head, and which he does not even think about. The reason for this is conceit and suspiciousness. But you don’t fight precisely these main passions, and for this reason you fall under the spell of demons, and you begin to see what is not in reality; and then you begin to fight with this, drawn up in your mind. If you do not fight this, then all the knowledge that you acquire will be used by you to move in the opposite direction.

I have had and continue to observe many people who acquired extensive knowledge, or who went through the struggle with passions, but since they did not free themselves from conceit and suspiciousness, they subsequently fell into spiritual delusion. They came to this because the demon, through conceit, twisted in their minds something that did not exist in reality, but they did not fight it; and thus they fell under the spell of demons. It is impossible to prove something to a person when he is in such a state. Usually, when I see this, I don’t impose myself with my instructions or evidence, but withdraw and simply pray, because I know that it’s all useless.

From the very beginning I saw this same conceit, suspiciousness and lust for power in you, but I hoped and hope that someday you will begin to get rid of them. For this causes you many troubles in your personal life, suffering and misfortune. If you get rid of this, it will become much easier for you, 80-90 percent, and life will become happier. And now, they once again brought you into a passionate state, and because of this you lost peace in spirit, and internal torment and suffering began. In this passionate state: spiritual vision is distorted, and a person looks through the prism of this spirit. I have often observed how an enemy is pictured in your mind, with such and such irregularities, and you begin to fight with him. This is the demonic spell and seduction that comes upon a person due to obsession with conceit and suspiciousness, which can ultimately lead a person to spiritual delusion.

Our time is such that demons cast their spell on people, and precisely through conceit and suspiciousness. And when a person falls under this, it is impossible to prove to him what he is fixated on. And if a person remains obsessed with this conceit and suspiciousness, then, sooner or later, the demons will catch him doing something, which is what happens to everyone. This is the demonic seduction at the end of time, under which all people fall who do not eradicate self-conceit and suspiciousness - this root of sin. On this basis, Antichrist miracles will be performed, and people will see something that actually does not exist in reality.

“He (the Antichrist) will perform numerous signs, but falsely, and not really. And in the presence of a crowded crowd that will praise him for his dreamy miracles, he will utter a strong voice, from which the place where the crowds facing him are gathered will shake, and he will say: All nations, know my strength and authority! In view of the spectators he will move mountains and call islands from the sea, but all this is deception and dreamy, and not real; however, he will deceive the world, deceive the eyes of everyone, many will believe and glorify him as a mighty God” (St. Ephraim the Syrian, vol. 2, “The Word on the Coming of the Lord...”). The reason for this deception and self-delusion is conceit and suspiciousness, obsession with the spirit of selfishness and pride.

In order to pronounce correct judgment, one must get rid of conceit and suspiciousness. What I wrote above. In order to get rid of conceit, the very first rule is that you must learn not to believe your vision and feeling, but to question them. For mixed with our seeing and feeling is the self, which distorts our vision. And until a person gets rid of this spirit of selfhood, in vision and sensation, until then he cannot pronounce correct judgment. Whether you like it or not, you will not get rid of an incorrect judgment until you take the path of getting rid of conceit and suspiciousness. The ability to judge is natural to a person, and he always demonstrates it by making one judgment or another in relation to something. God does not prohibit judgment in itself, which is a manifestation of the ability to judge, but only unrighteous judgment is prohibited: “Judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24). About this here.

The difference is that vision and sensation are natural to man, but selfishness, original sin, is mixed in with them. When a person sees and feels with an admixture of this spirit of self, then this vision is distorted. When a person, in his personal life, through the struggle with this spirit of self, frees himself from it, then his vision and sensation become free from the admixture of this spirit. And then he can see correctly and draw the right conclusions, i.e. pronounce correct judgment.

Spiritual vision cannot be explained in words. This is not seeing any visions or phenomena. This is somewhat similar to the sensation, but not quite the same. If a person observes himself, he will be able to see manifestations of this, in some cases. But it is one thing to have vision united with the spirit of self; and another thing is when this vision is free from it, then it is free from conceit and suspiciousness. Hence the difference in vision. As a matter of fact, the solution to all emerging problems and issues depends on this. And all the disputes revolve around this. This expresses human nature, and it is impossible to get away from it. The whole question is only in direction, in color, in these manifestations of nature.

Logically it is as I told you, but in reality only those who have experienced it know and feel it. And it is almost impossible to explain this to anyone “on fingers”.

I very often observed and am observing: you give instructions to people who come who have no concept of inner life, introduce them to inner work, explain to them the concepts of inner life on a mental, rational level, they learn all this. And then, due to the fact that in their personal life they do not eradicate from themselves conceit and suspiciousness, the spirit of self-confidence, then with all this knowledge and the fight against passions they begin to act in relation to their neighbors, based on conceit and suspiciousness, seeking self-affirmation, according to their mood your spirit. At the same time, they don’t see it. And thus they enter a state of spiritual delusion.

You ask: “How can you see this conceit and suspiciousness in yourself? If it’s like being mentally ill, to everyone around him he’s sick, but he himself doesn’t see it? And is it right to have an inner impulse to doubt everything, asking the Lord whether I am doing this, even in small things, whether this is in accordance with the will of God? Or is this also suspiciousness?

This comes only with experience, with correct internal work. That is, when this doing, according to the mood of the spirit, will not be based on the spirit of self. Mistakes and falls are inevitable here, but everything depends on prudence and caution. This is all from experience, and the right conclusions from your mistakes and falls.

About suspiciousness

Suspiciousness is conceit that clings to any questions from which it cannot tear itself away, due to its obsession, fixation, since through this fixation on something, the spirit of self-affirmation is sought. Conceit is an opinion that is not in accordance with the will of God, depending on the situation and circumstances. That is, in each specific case it is necessary to learn to discern the will of God and act in accordance with It - this will be the fulfillment of God’s commandments. For assistance, they are given to us in writing, i.e. This is the will of God expressed, in general, externally. But their application to particulars depends on our spiritual vision of the will of God in a given situation or life circumstances.

Suspiciousness begins with conceit, which seeks the spirit of self-affirmation through fixation on something. And conceit is an opinion that is not in agreement with the will of God at a particular moment in time. In the same way, suspiciousness can manifest itself through doubt. Doubt is natural to humans by nature. But when a person manifests it out of place, out of time, or without measure, then it turns into sin. This happens when the spirit of self-affirmation is sought through doubt. — When there is an obsession with something through doubt, which manifests itself out of place, out of time, without measure, then suspiciousness results. And when this becomes a habit, then the passion of suspiciousness is formed. When this happens sometimes, it's not so bad. But when it becomes a system, a habit, then it is already a painful passion of suspiciousness, destructive for the soul.

Two rules for getting rid of conceit

The first thing I began to teach, when we were still living in a community, was to learn not to commit judgment based on conceit. To do this, I have always repeated two rules when a person tries to judge something or someone.

You need to ask yourself the following questions: 1) “Do I personally need it, for my salvation, to judge this matter or this person.” And if it is not necessary, then cut off all thoughts on this topic.

2). “Do I know all the circumstances and nuances of this case in order to pronounce the correct judgment. Maybe I don’t know something, some circumstances, and therefore I can make judgment .”

Therefore, if there is a need for this, then we must leave it as an assumption, and not as a belief. The assumption says: “this is so and so, but however, maybe I’m mistaken, not knowing any of the circumstances of this case or case.” An assumption is not a final decision, it is a decision dissolved by doubt.

Those who found self-justification for their judgments and convictions, or if they were exposed, and they constantly justified their wrong judgment by the fact that I did not know, they say, the circumstances, and therefore I judged incorrectly. Then they continued to cultivate and kindle conceit, the spirit of selfishness and pride, and thus enter a state of spiritual delusion. Although sometimes they came to repentance, but then, out of skill, out of habit, they fell into the same thing again. Ultimately, it all came out. For nothing passes without a trace.

Those who have learned to cut off their conceit, on these two points, have found a certain peace of mind and soul. And thus we got rid of many problems in our personal lives.

Cause of Instability in Church Organizations

All proceedings between schisms in synods cannot be resolved precisely for these reasons, as well as because they are tied to rituals, letters of canons and rules, and organizations. And on this they assert themselves and rely on their salvation. Christianity, Orthodoxy, is not felt as a spirit: “Orthodoxy is the worship of God by Spirit and Truth; The Spirit is the glory of Christians (see John 7:39). Where there is no Spirit, there is no Orthodoxy” (St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, vol. 4, “Teaching on the Week of the Triumph of Orthodoxy”). At this point in time, Christianity and Orthodoxy have been lost, like a spirit. This is the whole problem.

In this state of affairs, there will never be any normalization of church life; and then there will be an even greater weakening of everything. God allows this to knock out the underlying spirit of self-affirmation, stability based on the spirit of self. – To bring everyone into a state of instability, into a feeling of weakness and helplessness. This is tolerated because modern man, precisely, does not have a feeling of weakness, but instead, in the sensation, there is a spirit of self-affirmation. But replacing Christianity, which is spirit, with rituals, canons and correct dogmatic formulations will not work.

St. Isaac the Syrian said: “He who does not know his weakness lacks humility” (f. 61), i.e. there will inevitably be conceit in him, a spirit of self-confidence and arrogance, a spirit of selfishness and pride. And all his activities, including asceticism, will be dissolved by this spirit. Such activity and such asceticism, reading prayers and services, without an experienced knowledge of one’s weakness, further inflames in a person conceit and the spirit of selfishness, and unites him, according to the mood of the spirit, not with God, but with demons; leads to eternal destruction. This is the reason for instability in modern society and church organizations: conceit, the spirit of selfishness and pride.

There is also information about self-conceit here .

Help you, Lord, on your path to salvation, in the fight against conceit and the spirit of selfishness.

Self-love is the main cause of sins

You, M.A., find in yourself the guilt of sin - self-love and cannot hate it, but it is the main guilt of sins in all of us; everything comes from him: pride, and vanity, and anger, and lust, and love of money, and envy, and so on; but in general we call pride the cause of all sins; “Where the fall followed, pride preceded it,” writes St. Climacus. Thus, it is necessary to attack both pride and self-love, like the serpent and the scorpion (Luke 10:19), with constant self-reproach, seeing one’s own badness, preferring one’s neighbors, accepting annoyances and reproaches, albeit with illness, distrust of one’s reason, rejection of one’s will And so on; for all this you need to have a feat, and God will help (IV, 141, 362).

Showing self-love in life

The aspirations of the spirit, or love, should serve as light and warmth for everything around us, like the material light of the sun. Dennitsa turned this light onto himself and hid it within himself, thereby darkening himself and killing himself with spiritual death, the meaning of which has already been clarified by us. These are the fruits of self-love: separation from the unity of life with God, alienation from the light, a state of darkness, sorrow, anxiety, weakness, impurity, corruption, and in the spiritual world, darkening of the mind. Arrogance, with all its mistakes and deviations from life, is a product of self-love, which seeks and never finds pleasure and contentment in life.

Thus, life in the spiritual world was divided into two areas that were opposite in nature. Two-thirds of the Angels remained in the same life of Love with God, and the third of the angels who fell away from the Divine life (see Rev. 12:4), led by the source of self-love, Dennitsa, formed the area of ​​​​the life of self-love. The area of ​​life of love remains eternally blissful, and the self-loving life is filled with many different delusions and sufferings.

Whether the period of existence of the self-loving area of ​​life of fallen spirits was great before God created the material world and in what this life was expressed, Divine Revelation does not tell us, for this does not concern the life of the earthly world. And in general, neither existence nor the periods of life of the spiritual world can be measured by the times of the material world. It is only known that when man was created by God, self-loving spirits - demons - already existed, appeared in the air spaces and crawled on the earth.

Like self-lovers, filled with malice and envy, fallen spirits began to strive to be seduced into serving themselves, distracting newly created people from serving God, for the purpose of the life of fallen spirits was to harm the Divine life of love and His glory, and to harm the blessed life of man. This revealed all the inner content of the spirits of evil, and in this they found some consolation and false consolation for their suffering spirit.

Now we will briefly talk about God’s creation of man.

Source:

Love is the essence of Christianity: Orthodoxy and other religions / Hieromartyr Alexander Miropolsky - Moscow: Publishing House of the Sisterhood in the name of St. Ignatius of Stavropol, 2003. - 223 p.

Hieromartyr Archpriest John Vostorgov. Conceit.*

I am not like other people!
(Luke 18:11) Hieromartyr Archpriest John Vostorgov

...Today, in the person of the Pharisee, we have been given a warning about one terrible enemy of moral development and the entire spiritual life of man; this enemy is self-esteem. The more sincere it is, so to speak, that is, the more a person himself believes in his own merits and merits, the more dangerous and disastrous it is. For young people of our time, who suffer precisely from conceit and self-aggrandizement, who consider themselves the salt of the earth, the flower of intelligence, renovators and leaders of life, and who, due to their conceit, are intolerant of everyone who disagrees with them, it is especially useful to think about this terrible illness of the spirit. After all, in the body, the most dangerous disease is the one that a person is not aware of and does not notice, and therefore does not take any measures against it...

The parable of the publican and the Pharisee depicts self-conceit in a living and visual image. Listen to how the Pharisee praises himself before God. Not like other people! He's lying? Pretending? Hardly. For one cannot, in fact, think that one can deceive God. No, he seems to be sincerely confident and convinced of his sinlessness and impeccability.

With self-gratification he lists his virtues. I fast..., I give tithes... And in this, I think, he is not lying again; It is quite possible and quite probable that he fasted twice a week and gave away a tenth of what he bought. And yet he went home after praying to the condemned. Why such a sentence? What is the condemnation for? What bad thing did the Pharisee do? He did not, of course, violate the law, but the moral is an area, first of all, a spiritual one, not a list and a list of things to do, but first of all and most of all a spiritual area of ​​moods, feelings and thoughts, from which desires emanate and deeds flow. The same thing gets a different color and has a different price. Bread and wine in the liturgy, in the holy chalice, on the holy throne are the greatest sacrament; Bread and wine at home at the table are simple food and a common treat. A doctor's bloody and painful operation on a patient evokes praise and gratitude; the bloody deed of a robber, even if he was armed with the same knife and inflicted wounds in the same places on the body, remains a crime and causes a curse. And works of piety have meaning, whether they are recognized or not recognized as such, depending on the spiritual state, on the spiritual mood from which they stem. The Pharisee came to that moral state, terrible and terrible, which put an end to his spiritual life and marked his spiritual death. He will continue to do the same acts of visible piety, but in the future they, based on pride and self-conceit, will be devoid of moral value. Imagine a person who is not only well-fed, but also satiated: will he want to eat? Imagine a person who has drunk plenty of water: will he be thirsty? The very thought of food is disgusting to a sated person, and an extra sip of water is disgusting to someone who does not feel any thirst. Apply what has been said to the spiritual realm. Here is a man who admires himself, who is convinced that he is impeccable, that there is no shortcoming in him, that he fulfilled everything assigned to him as a duty, and added a lot on top of that: the Pharisee needed to fast once a year, but he did this twice a week; it was necessary to give tithe only from the field, but he gave it from everything acquired, even from insignificant grains - from mint, caraway and anise... Could such a person have a desire for further improvement, aspirations for a higher rank? Of course, there can be no such desire. More needs to be said: the mere thought that he needs to become better is already an insult to him. Before us is the familiar image of a crafty and lazy slave, who, having received a talent of silver from his master, carefully hid it, buried it in the ground, saved it, did not waste it, saved it until his master arrived, and in stupid complacency was sure that he had fulfilled his duty and deserved a reward. However, he was severely condemned: take the talent from him, - it is said about him, - and give the owner ten talents... And throw the worthless slave into the utter darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth... Such is the sentence to such a soulless, evil and proud fulfillment of duty. For Christianity is a religion of the spirit, and not the flesh, a region of internal, and not external activity - the external itself will certainly come if there is an internal proper mood; for Christianity is endless moral improvement, and not stagnation, so whoever stopped on the path of moral ascent inevitably went back, for Christianity is a religion of life, not death. True and living Christianity is an unceasing thirst for greater and greater perfection... For blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness: they will be satisfied; for there is no good thing that cannot be done better; for there is no such high moral state that could not be even higher... For the image (ideal) of perfection indicated to a Christian is an eternal, limitless, always unattainable image: be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. And from this point of view, with such an assessment of human behavior, is any kind of pride and conceit possible, acceptable or appropriate? On the contrary, a feeling of deep humility, the most modest opinion about oneself, about one’s qualities, virtues and strengths, about one’s deeds and merits, a constant consciousness of one’s unworthiness and small successes in moral life - this is what naturally appears in a person, this is what characterizes a true Christian and shows in him true spiritual taste and breadth of understanding of moral perfection. He looks not at how far he has walked, but how much remains to go. And ahead is the mountain of the Lord, the mountain of spiritual ascent to the very sky, ahead is the image of the perfection of God Himself, to whom a Christian must become like. When you see this infinitely tall image, don’t you feel that you are infinitely small? But you compare yourself with other people similar to you... A grain of sand and a huge rock, compared to the globe, are they really so different in meaning? Can you even fit them into a picture of the earth? But you have talent and dignity... And are you ready to admire them? A sure sign that you actually don’t have such virtues in you. The virtues are like perfume,” notes Bishop Theophan the Recluse: whoever is perfumed does not notice the aroma. Even in the life of the body we will find something similar. I'm talking now, you're listening. But at this time, the most important processes in the body are continuously taking place in each of you: the blood circulates, the brain, nerves, muscles work, the perception of light and sound takes place, the body mysteriously assimilates food and turns it into blood, fat, tissue and muscles , air enters the lungs and gives oxygen to them, the blood turns one color, then another... All these processes for the body are the most important; If they stop even for a moment, the body is in danger of death. Meanwhile, you don’t notice them. So are the highest spiritual perfections in man. Whoever has them does not notice them. But do you have real dignity of mind, memory, thought, imagination? “I can’t,” you say, “ignore them in myself.” Well, notice and be aware, but think: what do you have? And what do you have to boast about in this case? After all, you yourself cannot change your height, gender, or age. And you boast about someone else’s things, not your own. Wouldn't it be the same if someone demanded glory and reward for himself for the fact that he works his lungs properly and continuously breathes air? Even if you have fulfilled all your duty, which is essentially impossible, then the Lord says to you: When you have fulfilled everything commanded to you, say that you are worthless servants, for you have only fulfilled what you were supposed to do (Luke 17:10) . The mere fact that you see the end of a debt and cannot imagine its infinity already testifies to your spiritual rudeness. And if you indulge in conceit, you are a complete moral nonentity. One brilliant writer makes such an apt remark: a person’s virtues and talents are his numerator, and pride and conceit are his denominator. You yourself know that the larger the denominator, the smaller and more insignificant the number... Hitherto we have talked about conceit in the moral sphere, in a person’s relationship to himself. But it comes into life in countless and varied ways and forms, and everywhere it bears fruit according to its kind—everywhere it brings harm and destruction. Students arrogantly condemn teachers and, considering themselves smart, are ready to give instructions to their teachers; young people with amazing ease, ease and conceit judge all religious, state, social issues, authoritatively propose plans and solutions, authoritatively distribute sentences, praises and condemnations to everyone, easily resolve all sorts of perplexities; writers and public figures are filled with confidence that in them, in their views and judgments, in their advice and opinions, there is the fullness of truth, infallibility and perfection, and other people are fools and worthless, worthy of expulsion and punishment for the fact that they do not agree with them; “people of society” live in narcissistic self-worship and imagine that there is nothing better and smarter than them in the world, that they only form public opinion, that it was in vain that they were not consulted when the world was created. All this is a manifestation of the Pharisaic spirit of conceit. Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, the Savior warned. It is known that leaven, even if added in small quantities to flour, penetrates the entire dough, ferments and raises it all. Likewise, conceit, pride and hypocrisy, this leaven of the Pharisees, penetrating even in small quantities into our soul, act with force, spread far, destroy the entire soul, passing through all its movements, poisoning thoughts, feelings and intentions, and from here being reflected in actions . From a young age you need to beware of this leaven. From a young age we need to grow in the consciousness of responsibilities, not rights, and throughout our lives, instead of the self-love and pride that is innate to us, we need to develop in ourselves the humble consciousness of sinfulness and unworthiness that is so characteristic of an Orthodox Russian churchgoer, and to pray with our lips and spirit the wonderful and saving prayer of publican contrition. : “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” [*] From the book “Complete Works,” vol. 3.

Should a Christian love himself?

Love is one of the essential Divine properties (see for more details: How many properties does God have?). This means that God from eternity abides in Love for Himself. To put it differently, all the Divine Hypostases are in mutual, heartfelt love, and at the same time, Each of Them nourishes love towards Himself.

Man is created in the image and likeness of God (see: Image and likeness of God). The ability to love is one of the features of this heavenly image.

Therefore, there is nothing reprehensible in a person’s love for himself, however, if we are talking about love in the correct understanding of the word, and not about a proud, selfish feeling, pride.

A person’s love for his own personality is not only allowed by God, but is also raised by Him as a model of love for one’s neighbor: “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:39).

But what does the expression “love yourself” mean? To love oneself is to live the fullness of a God-like life, to love life itself as a Divine Gift, to have joy in the Lord, to strive to fulfill one’s highest calling and destiny. If God loves a person, then does the person himself really have the right to treat himself with dislike (acting in defiance of the Almighty)?

There are many similarities between love for oneself and love for one’s neighbor(s), in particular the following.

Just as love for one’s neighbor implies the desire for his happiness, so love for oneself implies movement towards happiness. Man was created for happiness, and not short-term, as is the case in the conditions of present life, but for eternal and unceasing bliss.

The path to this bliss lies through the communion of one’s life with the life of the Universal Church, with the life of Christ. He who does not strive for eternal happiness in the Lord does not love himself.

Thus, loving yourself means (among other things) doing what contributes to the eternal blissful life. This is facilitated by the fulfillment of God’s commandments, love for God and His creation.

Just as the love of one person for another is associated with the desire to protect him and not lose him, so love for oneself implies the desire not to lose oneself for the eternal Kingdom of Heaven: “whoever loses his life for My sake and the Gospel will save it” (Mark 8: 35).

Just as love in general implies sacrifice, so self-love requires taking up your cross and following Christ (Luke 9:23).

The commandment “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39) indicates that ideally, love for one’s neighbor should not be inferior to the love that a person has for himself.

This rejects the idea of ​​self-love as self-love, because self-love implies the opposite: a selfish, and often disdainful attitude towards people.

Often the companions of pride (or its derivatives) are: vanity, envy, conceit and even anger.

“In order to love your neighbor as yourself, you must first love yourself correctly. Self-love is a distortion of love towards oneself. Self-love is the desire for the indiscriminate fulfillment of the wishes of a fallen will, guided by a false reason and an evil conscience.” St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov)

The Holy Fathers distinguish three main types of pride: love of money, love of glory, love of voluptuousness, based on the words of St. ap. John about the three temptations of the world: “For whatever is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not from the Father, but is of this world” (1 John 2:15-17). The fathers identified the love of voluptuousness with the lust of the flesh, the love of money with the lust of the eyes, and the love of glory with the pride of life.

Source

What it is

The tendency to narcissism can begin to manifest itself only at a certain stage of personal development, as a consequence of the emergence of the ability for introspection, separation of one’s own manifestations from the rest of the world. This may also be a consequence of the initial level of development of reflection, when the ability to notice and analyze the current situation has already appeared, but the ability to objectively assess the situation has not yet been formed.

There is no consensus regarding the positive or negative impact of this trait on personality and the course of later life, because this concept, like most human qualities, has two poles and correlates with the context of the situation and the degree of manifestation.

Excessive narcissism can cause a stop in development and the appearance of many blocks in professional development and personal growth. It occurs when a person stops objectively assessing himself, noticing shortcomings and overestimating his positive qualities. In such a state, there is no opportunity to assess one’s strengths or adequately position oneself in society, which is why not only the plans made, but also the existing reputation collapse.

The most striking examples of negative manifestations are all moments when, in the process of activity, a person places emphasis not on the result or process, but on excessive demonstration of himself for the purpose of narcissism. This is how speakers begin to give a lecture without noticing how focused it is on the listeners and whether they fall asleep during the process; dancers can disrupt the flow of the party and completely change the compositional setting of the work without noticing it themselves. A person engaged in narcissism is involved in unconscious processes, which ultimately has a bad effect on the control of the activity performed and its quality.

In its pathological manifestation, narcissism can lead to a sharp decrease in initially excessively inflated self-esteem, since the need for constant confirmation of one’s exclusivity forces one to remain in eternal comparison of oneself with others. A person can be carried away into unrealistic opinions about himself after the slightest success or praise, a compliment from others or a good deed that turns out to be insignificant on the part of the majority.

Such behavior negatively affects not only the self-awareness and self-perception of an individual, the formation of its qualities, but also social communication. Typically, such people begin to be avoided, since there is no place left for anyone else in the company, other people's merits can be ridiculed or ignored, which ultimately leads to isolation. Thus, the professional, social and internal life of the individual begins to suffer.

But there is also narcissism of a different nature, which allows, on the contrary, to reveal inner potential, increase confidence and opportunities. This applies to an adequate level, when the process of narcissism is supported by objective factors or even slightly exaggerated, but works for creative purposes. A kid who praises himself for a successfully completed task will want to develop further; a girl who spends a lot of time in front of the mirror develops a confident and happy mood before going out. Only narcissism makes it possible to see your positive sides and present them to society, because It is impossible to talk about a beautiful sunrise without considering it as such.

Modern trends in virtual communication largely encourage the development of this quality. Constant selfies, reports on pages about achievements (it doesn’t matter whether it’s the discovery of a unique medicine or a cake bought in a nearby store) lead to the fact that everyone admires themselves first of all. Only then are these products laid out for public viewing to receive a positive response (negative is not implied as a fact of existence in principle and this is a kind of general agreement).