What is vanity, how does it affect a person and others

Updated July 24, 2022 800 Author: Dmitry Petrov
Hello, dear readers of the KtoNaNovenkogo.ru blog. A little earlier, we already managed to consider some of the negative qualities of human nature - we learned what hypocrisy is, who a hypocrite is, and where cruelty comes from.

Today I propose to go further and consider such a human vice as vanity. What is it, how is it expressed, how is it dangerous for society and the person himself? I hope it will be interesting.

Vanity from a psychological point of view

The reasons for vanity lie in childhood. Psychologists believe that when forming self-esteem, an important criterion is the recognition of the child by the parents and how they evaluate certain achievements of the child. Excessive praise negatively affects the further perception of oneself as a person; inadequate inflated self-esteem leads to the emergence of vanity. Can a person recognize “star fever” in himself? There are signs of vanity:

• pleasure from flattery;
• the desire to spin events around one’s own person;
• aggressive response to any criticism (constructive, non-constructive);
• excessive talkativeness, at odds with actions (discrepancy between speaking and doing);
• eccentric behavior.

Vanity

How it affects a person - examples from life

A character trait such as vanity has a strong influence on a person’s life. The most common forms of vanity are pride, arrogance and star fever. There are certain examples of vanity that can negatively impact a person's career or fulfillment. So, for example, a graduate of a prestigious university who was able to handle even the most difficult subjects with ease will certainly consider himself a rising star in the new team. The employees of such an arrogant young man are unlikely to find a common language with him and will avoid and be wary of him. However, it is worth remembering that sooner or later a situation may occur that will “knock down all the arrogance” and boasting from the young man.

Quite often creative people with outstanding abilities have vanity. Such a person begins to imagine himself better than others, because he managed to climb to the very top. His self-esteem begins to go off scale, he expects others to praise, admire and worship him. In this case, a person can develop a real addiction, and subsequently a psychological disorder.

Sometimes vanity is realized in the form of imitation of self-development. A person can stubbornly convince the people around him that he is actively developing, learning, attending various courses and trainings. In fact, such people often spend most of their lives in stagnation and actually try to “appear rather than be.” It is this version of vanity that involves the desire to look better compared to others.

Vanity negatively impacts your career

What does a vain person mean?

Perceiving oneself as an individual is a complex process associated with emotions, their excess or deficiency against the background of improper upbringing when there are no norms and prohibitions and permissiveness develops. A vain person is a person who is bright at first glance and attracts people’s attention. The Austrian psychiatrist A. Adler spoke of a vain person as being filled with himself to the extent that there is simply no room for others. How vanity manifests itself:

1. Feelings and thoughts are put on display - the internal state may differ from the external manifestation (the goal is to capture as much of the audience as possible for attention).
2. Humiliation of another person in order to feel superior (more pronounced in women).
3. The desire to do good deeds and tell others how “good I am.”
4. The dominant need for “stardom” is without knowing the meaning of an activity, a profession in which success is important for a person (success for the sake of success).
5. Envy of those who have achieved something in life.

See also: What is DISCRIMINATION. Causes, signs and types

Signs

Vanity as a character trait is determined by several signs:

1. Love of flattery. Vain people love to be praised and often do this to others and the whole world. It doesn’t matter to them whether it’s true praise or an attempt to “throw dust in the eyes.”
2. A sharp reaction to any criticism. People who are characterized by unhealthy vanity react extremely negatively to criticism of themselves, even if it is constructive and supported by undeniable arguments.
3. The desire to be at the epicenter of attention. Such people often behave extremely emotionally and unrestrainedly, trying to attract everyone's attention and discussion.
4. Tendency to humiliation. Often people use humiliation to assert themselves at someone else's expense. A person who is vain always takes the opportunity to mock other people's mistakes and mistakes.
5. Arrogance. When communicating with such a person, all interlocutors involuntarily get the impression that he puts himself above others and is practically not interested in the opinions of other people.
6. Frequent envy of others.

In addition, a vain woman or man can talk for a long time and at length about their own achievements and skills, so that the interlocutor is literally amazed on the spot. However, often imaginary victories are not supported by any real successes.

Is vanity good or bad?

Any phenomenon has positive and negative aspects. What is human vanity and are there any good points in it - from the point of view of practical benefits? There are more negative aspects, but there are also positive aspects of vanity:

• helps to achieve success and recognition (especially in show business);
• is a trigger for any human endeavor: studying at a prestigious institution, career advancement.

What is vanity on the negative side:

• The main problem with vanity is that a person does not benefit society and is fixated only on himself.
• It is difficult for vain people to be in full-fledged relationships with loved ones: with their arrogance, arrogance and arrogance they push people away.
• There is practically no spiritual development; in extreme cases, a person can go into a state of megalomania (personal psychopathology), when he imagines himself to be omnipotent.

Definition of the concept

Any representative of society wants to look good in the eyes of others. A simple way to achieve this is to take care of reputation and appearance; for the same purpose, a person devotes time to self-development. Psychology fits such actions into the framework of normal behavior.

But some individuals do everything so that society perceives them as perfect. Vanity is an excessive desire to look better in the eyes of others than you really are. Experts equate the meaning of the word with pride and arrogance. Over time, a person will need constant glorification, not only at work, but also at home.

Vanity is common in everyday life, but not all people can explain it in simple words. In many teams there is a person who diligently hides his shortcomings and cannot stand criticism, but exaggeration of achievements and praise brings him real pleasure.

A vain representative of society strives to surround himself with fans in order to look more advantageous against their background. Senseless vanity involves undeserved compliments. The more self-importance a person has, the more he needs applause and admiration every day. Interestingly, the desire for veneration has much in common with star fever.

Ambition and vanity - differences

A person’s desire to be the best in various social spheres is respected. Being a wonderful doctor, teacher, taking your profession with full responsibility and becoming an example for others is what distinguishes ambition from vanity, which is characterized by “empty” drawing attention to one’s person. Ambition and vanity - there is a fine line between them, when one quality can transform into another: at the same time, a person begins to boast about his past merits and how much useful, in his opinion, he has done for society.

Possible causes

Character and worldview are mostly formed in childhood, and vanity is no exception.
Like high self-esteem, it occurs when parents constantly praise the child. He should receive praise for his achievements, but undeserved praise becomes the cause of overconfidence. A media personality's vanity causes her much less problems than the average person. If he did nothing in childhood, but constantly heard that he was exceptional, disappointment will overtake him in adulthood: due to fair criticism, he will feel misunderstood and underestimated. This gives rise to intrapersonal conflict. In simple words, a spoiled child turns into an adult who does not know how to adequately assess what is happening.

The opposite situation is possible. A disliked child from a dysfunctional family, who hears something pleasant addressed to him, may become dependent on the approval of strangers, compensating for problems with loved ones. He can also convince himself of exclusivity in order to raise his self-esteem.

Note!

Children, whose pride is just emerging, tell lies and treat their younger brothers and sisters with contempt.
There may be problems in the team. They strive for independence and dream of leading an adult lifestyle. Children under five years of age have only minor egoistic manifestations.
For example, they become furious when people try to shame them. Starting from senior preschool age, vanity becomes noticeable. Teenagers are trying to start working part-time, communicate with older guys, and have a sex life in order to get rid of the feeling of inferiority in front of adults that depresses them. Many adults become arrogant when learning something new. For example, they learned a foreign language at an intermediate level. Those who know him less will become an object of ridicule. The reaction to linguists who speak English fluently will be aggressive.

How to get rid of vanity?

As soon as a person realizes that he is captive of his own importance and dependence on flattery, recognition by others, and is fighting for the attention of the team, a huge amount of mental and psychological work remains to overcome himself. How to deal with vanity - a few recommendations from psychologists:

1. Pragmatism is a quality that, within reasonable limits, helps to eradicate vanity and not rest on the laurels of success once achieved.
2. Compare your successes with the successes of other people - remember that there is always someone smarter, prettier, more successful.
3. Take an example from famous people who, in their success, were not subject to vanity: Mother Teresa, Muhammad Ali, Keanu Reeves - modest personalities with a worldwide reputation
4. Sharing victories and achievements means that success comes from the participation of other people in a person’s life. Acceptance of this fact and gratitude to parents and teachers encountered along the path of life help to get out of a state of vanity.
5. G.D. Roberts, an Australian writer, in his novel The Shadow of the Mountain, expressed the idea of ​​​​how much usefulness can be gained by simply bowing your head and kneeling sometimes - a good exercise against vanity.

See also: What is XENOPHOBIA in the modern world

What is vanity in Orthodoxy?

Why is vanity a sin in the Orthodox tradition? In the famous film “The Devil’s Advocate,” Al Pacino’s hero utters words in which he admits that vanity is one of his, the Devil’s, favorite sins. The soul of a vain person is defenseless against the temptations of dark forces. Holy Fathers on vanity:

• Vanity thoughts come from the Devil, but never from God.
• Vanity manifests itself in indignation at loved ones that they live an unrighteous life, instead of being imbued with compassion and asking God to guide a loved one on the righteous path.
• Whoever does and says something for the sake of worldly glory alone is vain (St. Basil the Great).
• The soul of vanity is a waterless pit (St. Evagrius).
• Vanity is like a rushing wind - it scatters all the treasures of virtue (St. John Chrysostom).

How to overcome vanity - Orthodoxy

Vanity is a sin that devours the work of a person’s soul. Orthodox priests pay great attention to purity of thoughts and everyday actions - this is a huge amount of work on the path to God. The fight against vanity and pride includes:

• humility;
• modesty;
• acting with love and respect for everything;
• doing good deeds without anyone around you knowing;
• prayers for help in getting rid of temptations;
• Confession to a priest.

Vanity

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Based on materials from womanadvice.ru