He who is negligent towards his children, even though he is decent in other respects, will suffer extreme punishment for this sin.
Everything about us should be secondary to caring for our children. Saint John Chrysostom
The affairs of those with whom we have a different way of life are inaccessible to us. For example, a mother with infants cannot go to church every day
pray for a long time before all services and at home. This will result not only in embarrassment, but even sin if, for example, in the absence of a mother, a child without supervision cripples himself or does pranks when he grows up. She cannot completely renounce her property for the sake of personal achievement, for she is obliged to support and feed her children.
Venerable Nikon of Optina
To be saved, you must not live in a dream, but in real life bear the cross that the Lord has already determined for you for salvation.
Archimandrite John (Peasant)
You are a wife, you are a mother, you are a housewife. Responsibilities for all these parts are depicted in the apostolic writings. Look through them and take it upon yourself to perform them. For it is doubtful that salvation could be achieved apart from the fulfillment of the duties that are imposed by rank and fortune.
Saint Theophan the Recluse
As soon as a child is born, you need to know that everything that happens to the mother or father, or to the environment reaches him. Therefore, the mother was recommended to pray, but not formally, not only to say prayers, not only to say prayers, but to communicate with God, to share with Him all her joy, all her trepidation, to let God act in her.
Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh
One grief of the mentor, which should be deeply mourned, if the child loses faith and falls into sin. And God will arrange everything else for the good, for the sake of the devotion of believing hearts to Him.
Saint Theophan the Recluse
There is an incomprehensible connection between the souls of parents and the souls of children, and we cannot determine to what extent the influence of the former extends on the latter: and together, to what extent, with the contagious influence of the former, God’s mercy and condescension extends to the latter.
Saint Theophan the Recluse
Fasting protects babies, makes the young chaste, makes the old man respectable: for gray hair, adorned by fasting, is more worthy of respect. Fasting is the most decent attire for women, a bridle in the prime of life, protection of marriage, educator of childhood... Children, like flowering plants, may be watered with the water of fasting.
Saint Basil the Great
A child should be able to look at his parents and see that what he is told actually lives within them. They may be imperfect, the child understands this very well, but they strive to live by faith, and this constitutes the meaning and content of their life.
Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh
Pray earnestly for your children, and God will preserve in good order those who want to be preserved and seek this.
Saint Theophan the Recluse
For parents, the main concern should be to gain God's mercy and His help and blessings. And this will be a condition for the indispensable success of many years of work and struggle for the salvation of the souls of children subject to sin along with the entire fallen human race.
From the book of Pestov N.E. Orthodox parenting
An emancipated wife is always a bad mother. She is burdened by children, they prevent her from enjoying the freedom of life, and therefore she leaves the care of them to nurses and nannies.
Bishop Vissarion (Nechaev)
Teach your children more to moderation and even hardships, which you can always encounter in life, than to pleasures, which are not available to everyone.
Ambrose Klyucharyov, Archbishop of Kharkov
It should not be considered that the child is small; it is necessary from the first years to begin to calm down the flesh, which is prone to coarse matter, and to accustom the child to mastery over it, so that in adolescence, in youth, and after them, one can easily and freely cope with this need. The first starter is very expensive. Much depends on baby food in the future.
Saint Theophan the Recluse
Are you not causing yourself grief through the uncontrollability of your son? You had to carefully curb him, accustom him to order, to accurately perform his duties, and heal the illnesses of his soul when he was still young, and when it was much easier to do this.
Saint John Chrysostom
It will be good if parents show their child that they are upset by his outrages. But let them not put pressure on him and pray. Prayer done with pain leads to positive results.
Venerable Paisiy Svyatogorets
It is simply a crime to suppress children's joy and force children to be gloomy and important. Very soon life's problems will fall on their shoulders. Very soon life will bring them worries, worries, difficulties, and the burden of responsibility. So let them remain young and carefree as long as possible. Their childhood should, as far as possible, be filled with joy, light, and fun games.
Empress Alexandra Feodorovna
Parental love is sacred, but we must not forget that in relation to marital love it is secondary. It is unacceptable for passion for a child to overshadow the marital feeling, instead of strengthening and elevating it.
Metropolitan Vladimir (Ikim)
Very many parents, who love their children very much, in some way spoil them, not understanding, unfortunately, what harm they are doing to them, for example, when a mother, out of extreme carnal love, hugging and kissing the child, says to him: “What a good child I have.” child, the best child in the world,” etc.
Venerable Paisius the Svyatogorets
The birth of a child is a gracious gift from the Lord, but at the same time it is also a new calling, work, and cross for spouses. God entrusts and entrusts to earthly parents a baby, still defenseless in body and soul. This is not simple joy, not a game or fun: this is a formidable responsibility,” at the Last Judgment parents will answer before God for the living souls of their children.
Metropolitan Vladimir (Ikim)
It is simply a crime to suppress children's joy and force children to be gloomy and important. Very soon life's problems will fall on their shoulders. Very soon life will bring them worries, worries, difficulties, and the burden of responsibility. So let them remain young and carefree as long as possible. Their childhood should, as far as possible, be filled with joy, light, and fun games.
Holy Empress Alexandra Feodorovna
There are spouses who first of all try to put all other problems in order and only then start thinking about children. Such people do not take God into account at all. And other married couples say: “Life today is not easy. Let us have one child and that’s enough. Just try to grow one here!” And they don’t give birth to other children. These people do not realize how much they are sinning by thinking this way, not trusting in God. God is “compassionate.” It is easy for Him to stop giving children to their spouses if He sees that they are no longer able to raise them.”
Elder Paisiy Svyatogorets
When there is a newborn in the house, the marriage is, as it were, reborn. A child brings a married couple together like never before. Strings that were previously silent come to life in our hearts. Young parents face new goals and new desires. Life immediately takes on a new and deeper meaning. Of course, with children we have a lot of worries and troubles, and therefore there are people who look at the appearance of children as a misfortune. But only cold egoists look at children this way. It is a great thing to take responsibility for these tender young lives that can enrich the world with beauty, joy, strength, but which can just as easily perish; it’s a great thing to nurture them, to shape their character—that’s what you need to think about when you’re arranging your home. This should be a home in which children will grow up to live a true and noble life, for God.
Passion-bearer Alexandra Feodorovna
You all want to arrange for the children yourself, but you don’t provide anything to God. And we must give everything to God, without ceasing, of course, our care, but without giving it too much importance.
Saint Theophan the Recluse
“Many parents teach their children foreign languages, others teach them the arts, but they do not care about Christian teaching and upbringing: such parents give birth to children for temporary life, and do not allow them to eternal life. Woe to them, for they kill not the bodies, but the souls of men through their negligence!”
St. Tikhon Zadonsky
“Without being ashamed and without fear of the world, try to give your children a true Christian education, imparting to them only Christian concepts in everything, teaching them Christian rules of life and kindling love for the Church of God and all church orders.”
Saint Theophan the Recluse
“If parents do not provide proper care for their children, do not teach them reason, and do not instill in them good rules, then the souls of the children will be collected from their hands.”
Venerable Simeon the New Theologian
“Teaching through actions and life is the best teaching.”
St. John Chrysostom
“Fewer words are needed if you do what you have to do. The painter teaches more with his paintings.”
St. Gregory the Theologian
“Parents who give birth to children and give them a body should, as far as possible, contribute to their spiritual rebirth.”
Elder Paisiy Svyatogorets
“Parents should try hard to cut off their passions. It doesn't matter that they inherited some of these passions from their own parents. They will not only give an answer to God for not making a heroic effort to cut off these passions, but they will also bear responsibility for passing on these passions to their children.”
Elder Paisiy Svyatogorets
“Let us instruct our children so that they prefer virtue to everything else, and consider the abundance of wealth as nothing.”
St. John Chrysostom
“Don’t leave children and their upbringing to chance, on TV and on the street. This is a sin, and a considerable one. Pray and, as much as possible, influence their choices in life. Of course, not by violence, but by suggestion and awareness of the disastrousness of the modern consciousness imposed from the outside.”
O. John (Krestyankin)
“Children need joy and happiness no less than plants need air and sunlight. The richest legacy that parents can leave to their children is a happy childhood, with tender memories of father and mother.”
Holy Queen Alexandra
“A mother, giving birth to a child, gives the world a man, and then she must give heaven an angel in him.”
Saint John Chrysostom
“The birth of children became the greatest consolation for people when they became mortal. That is why the humane God, in order to immediately soften the punishment of the first parents and ease the fear of death, granted the birth of children, revealing in it the image of the resurrection.”
St. John Chrysostom
“Children are living icons, work hard on them, don’t distort the image of God in them with your inattention and negligence.”
Archimandrite John (Peasant)
“The main thing is that the child is occupied to the best of his abilities and directed towards the fear of God. From this, everything good and good, on the contrary, idleness and failure to instill in children the fear of God are the cause of all evils and misfortunes. Without instilling the fear of God, no matter what you do with your children, there will be no desired fruits in terms of good morality and a well-ordered life. When the fear of God is instilled, every activity is good and useful.”
Venerable Ambrose of Optina
“The corruption of children comes from nothing other than the insane attachment (of parents) to the things of life.”
Saint John Chrysostom
“Take care not to leave your children on earth, but to raise them to heaven; do not cleave to carnal marriage, but strive for spiritual; give birth to souls and raise children spiritually.”
Saint Basil the Great
“It is proper to have wisdom, but not with your own mind, but to pray to the Lord to make you wise in how to act in raising your children, and to save them from the corrupting spirit of harmful worldly customs.”
Venerable Macarius of Optina
“In education, neither excessive gentleness nor harshness is required - reasonableness is required.”
Saint Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow
“Even if we had everything in order, we will be subjected to extreme punishment if we do not care about saving our children.”
Saint John Chrysostom
“The most important thing for raising children is that they see their parents living a great inner life.”
Priest Alexander Elchaninov
Elders about the Orthodox education of children
“...God gave you angelic children. Let's see how you make them. Parents bear great responsibility for their children. I know a woman whose son is disobedient. Day and night she prays for him. I told her: “You will show God either the saved child or the wounds on your knees.”
Elder Jerome
- “Children catch their first spiritual cold thanks to the open doors of their parents’ feelings. The mother who catches them the most is when she is not dressed in modesty and devastates the children with her behavior.”
- “The holy life of parents informs the souls of their children, and they naturally grow up obedient and reverent, without spiritual damage, and the children make their parents happy, and the parents make their children happy both in this life and in the next, eternal life, where they will rejoice together again.”
Elder Paisios
- “Let parents raise their children from the cradle. Let them teach them the fear of God, stop their evil aspirations and impulses, let them not curry favor with them and satisfy their bad desires and tastes. Just as soft wax, which you mold as you wish, accepts any seal, so you can mold a small child into whatever you wish. Letters written on blank paper will remain indelible. And what a small child learns will remain indelibly with him until old age.”
- “If the wind blows on a tree when it is small and bends it, and we substitute a post, then it will become straight, but if we do not substitute a post, then it will forever remain crooked. If it grows and takes root well, and we want to level it, then it cracks and breaks. So are our children. When they are small, we will strengthen them in faith and fear of God. Let us build a fence for them and erect a wall for them from teachings and good examples, until they are rooted in virtue, when they will not be afraid of any danger.”
Elder Philotheus
- “Don't put pressure on your children. Whatever you want to tell them, say it prayerfully. Children cannot hear with their ears. Only when Divine grace comes and enlightens them do they hear what we want to tell them. When you want to say something to your children, tell it to Our Lady and She will arrange everything. This prayer of yours will be like a spiritual caress that will hug and attract children. Sometimes we caress them, but they resist, while they never resist spiritual caresses.”
- “Parents who have difficult and rude children should not blame the children themselves, but the one who stands behind them is the devil. We can only fight the devil when we become saints.”
Elder Porfiry
- “Talk more to God about your children than to your children about God. The young soul longs for freedom, so he has difficulty accepting various pieces of advice. Instead of constantly giving him advice and reproaching him for every little thing, put it on Christ, the Mother of God and the saints and ask Them to bring him to his senses.”
- “Treat children like foals, sometimes tightening and sometimes loosening the bridle. When the foal kicks without letting go of the bridle, we loosen it, otherwise he will break it. And when he is calm, then we will pull the bridle and lead him wherever we want.”
- “Parents should love their children as children, not as their idols. That is, let them love the child as he is, and not as they would like him to be - like them.”
Elder Epiphanius
