Dejection - what is it, how to deal with it

Dejection is a state of mental and physical parameters that belongs to the asthenic pole of human self-perception, which is characterized by the presence of an apathetic mood and depression. Complete despondency is characterized by an unwillingness to do anything and a lack of any interest in one’s own situation and life, is accompanied by a strong loss of strength, and is a concomitant element of depressive disorder in the affective sphere.

Being close in its meaning and feeling of grief, melancholy, melancholy, despondency is not synonymous with them and reflects greater indifference to what is happening. During grief, a person feels pain and loss, the importance of who (or what) he is grieving for; with melancholy, the emotional sphere is captured by sadness, while with despondency, practically nothing touches the human soul. Such an apathetic and insensitive state can lead to the development of diseases of the psychoneurological spectrum, cause suicidal thoughts and attempts, in the hope of ending a meaningless existence or in the hope of feeling something. Dejection is also difficult to experience because a person does not forget how he previously perceived the world, i.e. he remembers his joy and delight, pain and sadness, how his eyes burned and how the world played with colors, but now he sees only grayness, and feels only emptiness.

What is despondency

This state is characterized by a loss of the sense of time, when there are no prospects for the future and the emotional moments of the past are gradually erased, each one becomes insanely similar to the previous one - among such monotony, not only all hope or passion is lost, but also a person’s ideas about himself.

A special place is given to the state of despondency in religion, where it is even ranked among the mortal sins. It is worth separately noting that the state of despondency characterizes not only an individual, but can be used in relation to a certain social group or an entire state (this state is caused by the lack of competent leadership, distant and ambitious goals in the future, as well as the presence of leaders who do not have strong charisma and intrapersonal strength).

When falling into despondency, a person chooses how to deal with it independently - some convert to faith, some go to psychologists, and some independently pull themselves out of the destructive swamp of indifference, literally by the hair. But a way out of such a state is not always provided; some remain in it for years or end their life’s journey in despondency.

Complete despondency sets in if you ignore the causes and give up trying to get out of the grayness, but how to start getting out depends on what causes the condition.

Dejection is a rather dangerous state of decline, in which not only the mental sphere suffers, but painful sensations can manifest at the somatic level. Self-esteem falls, the importance of the surrounding world, relationships and processes tends to zero, sleep disturbances are observed, passivity, the desire for loneliness increases, suicide becomes theoretically acceptable, and sometimes practically desirable, as a way to stop the gray swamp red tape, just like psychostimulants and hallucinogens , designed to somehow diversify life and pump up the sensory sphere. Similar symptoms appear in people in a state of sadness, acute grief and sadness, but if its duration goes beyond a week, and the degree of manifestation of these aspects increases, then you need to go to friends or a specialist.

If you observe a similar condition in your loved ones, and they refuse to admit the presence of problems, refuse to change anything, then we can talk about the need for therapeutic intervention - go for a consultation with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist with a medical license so that they can tell you how to prevent the progression of despondency may require hospitalization. Like any emotional state, despondency has varying degrees of severity; how to deal with them depends on the duration and reasons favoring the development of the apathetic state.

The most serious are force majeure circumstances beyond human control (wars, disasters, natural disasters, illnesses and deaths of groups of people and individual members). Such circumstances greatly undermine a person’s usual supports, unsettle him and serve as a development for many negative emotional experiences, but it is worth noting that, being the most destructive to the human psyche, they are the least common triggers of despondency.

Much more often, the cause of this condition is significant relationships and the negative aspects that occur in them - divorces and insults, resentments, envy, inattention and other destructive aspects of human relationships. It is they, being part of significant relationships, that most often manifest themselves, in contrast to fires and wars. Expecting caring and appreciative attitude from loved ones constantly confronts a person with a discrepancy with reality (this is normal, since we all show both strengths and weaknesses), the question remains how a person copes with such incidents, how much one accepts the weaknesses of others and allows life to flow in its own way.

And if in some cases the influence of surrounding people really objectively influences a person, then changing relationships or social circles can improve the emotional background; the situation is much more complicated if people have nothing to do with it and are only objects of the internal projections of the sufferer. You can drive yourself into despondency under physiological conditions (illness, physical exhaustion, prolonged lack of sleep), as well as under a certain psychological make-up based on an inadequate perception of the outside world. The perception of the world shifts when passing age milestones and crises, when old life and social roles change (marriage, moving, new position) and a person’s inability to quickly adapt to changed conditions.

With increased demands and expectations from others, the person waiting ultimately suffers, noticing the uselessness and futility of getting what he wants from the outside world, instead of reorienting himself to achieving it on his own. In principle, frustration of any significant needs leads either to a surge in achievement motivation, or to resentment, internal closeness and despondency to experience disappointment. This is a mechanism that protects the psyche from encountering experiences that currently exceed its resources, but being in constant despondency can become more dangerous and lead to a chronic state of desensitization.

A sad spirit withers the bones

Next we will look at the main signs that indicate the beginning of destructive processes in the body:

sleep is disturbed (a person suffers from insomnia or excessive drowsiness);
appetite changes (increases or loses);
there are problems with the intestines (constipation);
sexual potential is noticeably reduced;
the general energy state decreases, the person begins to become more tired of the usual physical and mental stress;
Various types of uncomfortable pain sensations arise in the torso.

As a result of such a conflict with oneself, even organic pathology can arise. In this way, sin begins to penetrate the human physical body.

Modern medicine offers methods of healing from depression, but the famous specialist in this field, Yuri Polishchuk, who is a Doctor of Medical Sciences, also advises using spiritual and religious methods of psychotherapy.

He expresses the following opinion about treatment for despondency: “If someone who suffers from depression came to me and asked for a way out of this state, I would definitely recommend that he not only visit the temple of God, but search for his personal spiritual mentor in one of the monasteries.

Of course, this option will be more difficult, since it requires effort to search, but as a result, they will not just listen to you for a couple of minutes, but will try to establish the true source of mental suffering. Conversations with spiritual mentors last for several hours, and sometimes the convert is offered to stay within the walls of the monastery for a certain time in order to endure fasting and begin to heal his soul.”

Father Anatoly (Berestov), who is a hieromonk and the head of the Orthodox Counseling Center of John of Kronstadt, as well as a doctor of medical sciences, is confident that a person who dreams of healing this ailment not only on a physical, but also on a spiritual level, must definitely seek help from holy church.

After all, it is Orthodox medicine that is called upon to save a person, to free him from internal sins that destroy body and soul.

Although, on the other hand, believers who have suffered from depressive conditions should not neglect official medicine, because according to St. Theophan the Recluse, “medicine and medicines were given to us by the Almighty, and to refuse them means to reproach the Creator.”

How to get rid of despondency

Dejection can be compared to an extinguished internal fire, when a person not only does not see where to move, but also does not understand why to look for this path. Being passionate about some idea or activity will help you get out of this state, but you shouldn’t demand that you take a keen interest in everything that’s happening—it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to jump out instantly. You should give time during which you can simply look closely at various trends and genres, you can come to the sections and be a motionless, mute spectator, you can walk the streets, looking for something that can emotionally hook you. Being surrounded by people full of excitement and hope, aspirations and positive outlooks, whose energy can move mountains, has a positive effect on getting rid of despondency.

The human psyche is structured using mirror neurons, and moods and attitudes to life are transmitted through direct contact with a person. This statement is true in relation to any states and emotions, so even if you are a desperate cheerful person, surrounding yourself with depressive whiners, you risk losing your passion very quickly. Be aware of who you communicate with and what activity is happening around you. If you are despondent, then consciously, controlling the process (after all, interest, like the leading system, is temporarily turned off) choose everything that is as opposite to despondency as possible.

It is believed that the opposite of despondency is cheerfulness, but this is a rather crude and superficial view, since it reflects only one aspect of the concept. If you look deeper, the opposite of despondency is inspiration or creativity. While despondency represents emptiness, dullness, disinterest and inaction, inspiration includes creation, fullness, active activity, if not physical, then mental. It is the loss of connection with one’s creative component that causes the loss of the taste of life, and accordingly it is necessary to overcome the illness by returning creativity to one’s life. There is no need to paint pictures if you have never done this, but you can remember your love for baking and come up with a new recipe or make repairs from scrap materials - the entire surrounding space is a blank slate for a flight of imagination, you need to try to find your abilities and desires.

Look for the causes of your condition and eliminate them, rather than endlessly struggling with the consequences. If you are depressed by the monotony and boringness of your work, then you can cheer yourself up as much as you like, but as long as the activity remains the same, the result will be disappointing. In this option, you should either change the activity or introduce exciting elements into it. The lack of visible results leads to despondency with the same probability as complete well-being, only the wording is different - there is no point in striving, because everything is useless or because everything is already there. A shake-up, leaving your comfort zone, arranging your own austerities allows you to feel first the lack, and then the desires that give rise to aspirations and a thirst for activity, sweeping indifference out of the main parameter of perception of reality.

Don’t be afraid to change your life, especially if you don’t care anyway, then in the worst case scenario you will remain in the same state. Go to unfamiliar cities, increase your social circle, load yourself with new work or hobbies - it is not necessary that you will like the new city, but new acquaintances will delight you. Perhaps, from active life changes, a feeling of anger at the limitations of people will appear (and this will give rise to the idea of opening your own development courses), perhaps new cities will be horrified by their dirt and ruin (and you will think about a volunteer movement to correct the situation). All the emotions gained during the new experience will be useful in order to jump out of despondency, but whether it is love and admiration for the world or indignation and anger at the existing order of things is not so important.

Take care of the physical support of your body, because despondency disturbs the production of hormones and somatic sensations - make up for the lack of endorphins in all possible ways. The best option is physical activity (choose jogging, gym, fitness training, swimming pool), bananas and chocolate (direct suppliers of the hormone of happiness into the body), touch and intimacy (tactile sensations and orgasm produce a huge amount of necessary substances that normalize functioning of the hormonal system). Replenish your supply of essential vitamins (gnaw vegetables and fruits, drink them in capsules or fizzy drinks - the main thing is that all microelements are contained in the required quantities), walk more often, saturate your body with vitamin D, which is one of the main helpers in the fight against depression.

Drugs and alcohol are depressants, so using them in a state of despondency will drive you into a blind corner, the way out of which will lie exclusively through a psychoneurological dispensary. If you feel the need to stimulate emotional processes, then for now it is better to sign up for training using holotropic breathing or go to individual psychotherapy.

Don't stop setting goals for yourself, let them be small things for every day - working out, meeting a new person, choosing a hairstyle. Firstly, the awareness of achieving goals helps to overcome the feeling of one’s own uselessness, secondly, it gives direction for movement, and thirdly, it facilitates the process of getting out of despondency, because it is still easier to follow a written plan, which you can draw up as you read this text. Otherwise, in the absence of motivation (and this is precisely what is striking for such a state), all invented strategies for overcoming despondency will be nullified.

Prayers for loneliness

The only way out is constant prayers and avoiding loneliness.
In no case is it recommended to withdraw into yourself, but, on the contrary, to begin to lead a more active lifestyle.
Visit new places, relax in nature with friends, go to the movies, theaters or exhibitions.

What psychologists advise

Psychologists agree that incipient depression can be avoided only through sports activities and an active lifestyle.
Physical exercise can relieve the accumulated negative load on the brain, helping to become a self-confident person.
The Church, for its part, calls to let faith into your heart, sincerely turning to God daily with words of prayer.

In the church canons there is a special prayer for this:

Risk of suicide

Lack of confidence in our abilities, refusal to try to improve things, or inability to change our lives paralyzes us so much that we ourselves give up the fight.

If these feelings penetrate deeply into our brain, then there is a risk of suicidal tendencies.

How not to lose heart in a difficult life situation and learn to cope with the adversity that arises, which it is not clear where it comes from and where it goes? And it is imperative to do something, because ultimately, the thought may become deeply ingrained in our minds that all attempts made are useless, and nothing can be changed.

Find the cause of depression

Before you begin to get rid of negative emotional outbursts, you should identify the reason for this state of affairs.

It can be quite serious:

long-term illness
falling down the career ladder,

or the most common one:

a daily routine at work or at home that no longer makes you happy.

Overcoming despondency and melancholy on a spiritual level

According to religious teachings, despondency is a sin. And overcoming it should be the initial goal for every person.

Sadness comes from fear of the future and death. You can get rid of it if you learn to live in the present tense. Try not to look 2,3,5 or 10 years ahead. Worrying will not lead to anything good. It is better to leave this time for self-development, filling the soul with knowledge and good qualities.

Reasons for appearance

What could be the reasons for despondency?

Pride. If a person is sensitive to any failures or statements made in his direction, he can easily become despondent. This hurts his self-esteem. But if a person does not take everything to heart, then he will not fall into despair. Then he is calm about what is happening around him.
Failure to satisfy desires can also make some people depressed. Moreover, the more a person succumbs to it, the more the desires themselves lose their meaning.
In addition to the above reasons for despondency, there are also those that can appear in people who are strong in spirit. These include the absence of grace, the cessation of any activity by a person. Boredom may set in. Also, sad events can cause despondency. For example, the departure of a loved one or the loss of something. And even in this case, one should not fall into sad thoughts about the injustice of the world. Death is the natural end of life, and we all lose something or someone in life.
Dejection can arise due to illnesses that accompany a person.

So, who is most susceptible to the passion of despondency and what are the indirect signs of these passions, their causes?

An impatient and unhumble person is subject to the passion of despondency.
In particular, an impatient person can be so sick with passion that it simply remains in him constantly, moving from the stage of remission to the stage of exacerbation.
Laziness, loneliness, inconstancy, carelessness, lack of perseverance, envy. Such a person is often provoked by the passion of despondency to replace even good things, they say, everything is not so, everything is not so. He sells a new car, changes his place of work because of little things.
Touchiness, ingratitude, looking for someone to blame.
Cynicism, blasphemy.
Laziness, drowsiness, carelessness in prayer (hasty, swallowing endings) and hence the resulting lack of composure, absent-mindedness in business.
Desperate actions and hysteria are some signs and consequences of being in despondency.
Pride and despondency are always together. Dejection is a consequence of pride.
“Sorrows are sent to those who speak in the Temple.” Lack of reverence is also a cause of despondency.
Worldly spirit, lack of faith, cowardice - brings despondency to the human soul
Lies, deception, slander, intrigue, denunciations (including in the church and in Orthodox circles), oddly enough, many people think that denunciations are a matter pleasing to God.
Verbosity, idle talk - washes the soul, a little slower than anger, but just as confidently, after which a person is rewarded with despondency.
Condemnation, gossip, contempt of people
Darkness and the presence of mortal sins, conviction of conscience for various inappropriate actions.
The sin of injustice also brings despondency to the soul. This is when a person is unfair to other people. Profits from other people's grief, misfortunes, provokes people into grief. He takes advantage of the opportunity and makes money. Or he treats people unfairly, offends them.
Exhaustion, overwork - physical, is closely related to overwork of the soul, so an overtired person can also become despondent. Overwork is an internal breakdown.
Of course, the Lord allows and allows all this.

If you look at this list more carefully, it will become obvious that despondency is the heaviest and last passion, which is a consequence of other passions and which is some final result.

How to overcome this condition?

How to overcome despondency? The methods will now be listed:

First of all, you need to understand that negative thoughts can be “remade” into positive ones. It doesn’t matter why a person began to think that everything was bad. Perhaps someone inspired him, or his thoughts revolve around childhood experiences. You should find out what causes despondency and depression. To do this, you need to ask yourself: “What thoughts lead me into a state of sadness and melancholy?” The answer to this question needs to be written down. Next you need to read what was written down. Then you should convince yourself that this list is limited by your perception. In fact, the world is much wider. You shouldn’t think only about the clouds in the sky, it’s better to remember that there is the sun, blue sky and white airy clouds. Then you need to cross out the bad thought and replace it with a good one, which is filled with positivity and joy. Next, you should repeat positive statements until you believe in them. If this is difficult to do, you can tell yourself that this is a game and you will imagine yourself believing these thoughts. You need to convince yourself and set yourself up for positive thinking.
You must learn to understand that if hopeless sadness sets in, it is only due to your narrow perception of reality at the moment. It's actually not that bad. As soon as sadness sets in, it is recommended to think that this is a temporary phenomenon and will soon pass. You also need to take care and protect yourself, pamper yourself with something that can distract you from your sad mood. Water procedures help very well. They will help you relax physically and take your mind off sad thoughts. You can also take a walk in the forest, walk briskly in the fresh air.
Dejection and melancholy are quite bad states. You should not fall into them, even if it seems to you that something was done wrong in the past. The past is our experience, a lesson. Positive conclusions should be drawn from it. A positive attitude about the past is necessary. There are lessons to be learned from everything. For example, about some episode in life a person thinks that he broke or crippled him. This conclusion is fundamentally incorrect. You need to change your thought form. You should think about any incident from the following perspective: “it made me stronger, I gained experience, thanks to which I can overcome such situations with ease.”
You should learn to enjoy every moment. Many people have probably heard that in old age people talk about how quickly life has passed and remember the positive moments. This means that you don’t need to waste yourself on depressing thoughts that lead to self-destruction. You should approach everything with joy and a smile. Then there will be no time left for melancholy and sadness. You need to remember that thoughts about the past or plans for the future do not allow you to enjoy the present. First of all, you should relax and live in the present time. You need to give yourself the following attitude: it doesn’t matter what happened in the past and you don’t have to be afraid of the future or live in anxious anticipation of something. You need to live the present moment with a feeling of joy and gratitude, enjoy every moment.

Dejection in modern society

Unfortunately, today it is not uncommon that, despite all the external well-being of a person, he does not experience a feeling of joy. There are cases when a citizen is financially secure, he has a family, he goes to expensive resorts, but nothing gives him a feeling of satisfaction. Moreover, people who have more money experience despondency and depression more often than those who experience any financial difficulties. There are also situations when a person is always dissatisfied with something. For example, it seems to him that he has a bad wife or that if he had a car, he would be happy, and so on. But in fact, it turns out that changing your place of residence, buying a car and getting a new wife still does not bring satisfaction.

From a psychological point of view, this human condition is called depression. Today it is considered the most common mental disorder. There are psychological services for people. If despondency is at the initial stage, a psychologist will help the person find a way out of his condition. But it happens that psychological support can only have a temporary effect. Therefore, after some time, everything returns to the person again. If we talk about religion, despondency is considered a mortal sin. In this regard, there are certain explanations for the reasons for its appearance and how to deal with it.