How to get your husband away from his mistress

Mistress... There is so much suffering, pain, resentment, humiliation, insult, shock in this word! Her appearance in the family is a real blow to the spouse’s self-esteem, from which not every woman can recover. Whether it makes sense to fight for a family is a rather personal question, depending on many factors. But there are times when the husband realizes his mistake and sincerely wants to save the marriage. What should a wife do? To return love to her family nest, she needs to gain wisdom...

Is there anything I need to do to get my husband away from his mistress?

If a woman has tender feelings and deep affection for her husband, then betrayal on his part becomes a real shock. The unhappy and deceived wife is overwhelmed by a whirlwind of various emotions: resentment, anger, desire for revenge and divorce. In such a state of shock, you can make a lot of serious mistakes, after which it will be difficult to save the marriage.

Therefore, the first thing a woman should do is calm down and keep her cool. Only after this can you think about what actions to take next, how, in fact, to get your husband away from his mistress.

First, you need to analyze why the faithful, who just yesterday swore eternal love, became interested in his rival.

Perhaps his wife’s actions pushed him to such a step. Maybe she stopped taking care of herself, made too many claims, or refused intimacy. Or the man stopped feeling needed and significant and simply wanted to be comforted in the arms of another.

In this case, the connection is random. You can correct the situation through a confidential conversation with your husband, which will allow you to look at the relationship in a new way. It is advisable to contact a family psychologist who will help identify the causes of the conflict and resolve it.

If the relationship with your mistress continues for a long time, then you should think about whether such a man is needed at all. Sometimes it’s better to let a person go, because fighting for him with another woman will be unjustified, because you won’t be nice by force.

You also need to evaluate your strength in terms of the ability to come to terms with what happened.

Women are not always able to objectively realize that further coexistence will in any case be burdened by the fact of betrayal, and not everyone will withstand such a moral burden.

It will also be useful to answer the question of why save the marriage. Perhaps it is important for a woman that her children have a father, or she depends on her husband financially. Maybe love is still alive. Then you should definitely fight for your spouse.

There may also be situations when a husband treated his wife very tenderly, and then suddenly cooled off and began to be rude. Then we can talk about a magical effect in relation to him. In this case, you really need to fight for your own happiness.

What to do if your husband decides to leave for good

If your husband has decided to leave the family, then no matter what you do, he will leave. It’s stupid to block the door, throw things out of the suitcase, cry bitterly, shame them in front of the children, or, even worse, threaten suicide. Even if in the end the husband remains after such manipulations, the marriage can hardly be called happy and strong. He will rely solely on the man’s pity for you and his responsibility for the fate of the children. This cannot be called the best solution to the problem, but if it is important for you that your husband remains close at any cost, then this is an option for you.

You can act wisely: since it was no longer possible to win the battle, then let your spouse go calmly and without a scandal. With his mistress, a man is ready to tumble in bed and have carefree fun, but how their “everyday life” will turn out is unknown. It is quite possible that in a month he will crawl back to you on his knees and beg for forgiveness. If not, then you can always find a more worthy husband.

Every man is ready to leave his mistress if his wife begins to satisfy him again as a woman, friend, interlocutor and partner for spending time together. The fate of the family is in the hands of the woman and depends on whether she is ready to change for the sake of the return of her husband or not.

What is not recommended to do

It is not easy to remain calm in a state of shock and stress. However, in order to preserve family happiness, you need to get together and carefully think through your line of behavior. At the same time, you should avoid mistakes and actions that will only aggravate the situation.

In an attempt to return your beloved to the family, you should not try to keep the man next to you by force. It is strictly forbidden to use blackmail with children; this will only push the spouse away and throw him into the arms of his mistress, where he will be much more comfortable.

A heart-to-heart conversation with your spouse will be much more productive, because it is very difficult for him to erase the years lived together at once.

In the process, it will be possible to find out whether the man plans to start life from scratch with his mistress, whether he has finally made up his mind, and also to clarify other important points.

Hysterics, tears, scandals, claims and accusations will lead to the same result. Poorly thought-out intrigues towards your mistress will not help either. It’s even worse if a man notices that his wife is trying to keep an eye on him and control his pastime. Totally harassing your opponent on social networks won’t help either.

A heart-to-heart conversation with your lover will also be unproductive. If a woman, having learned about the marital status of her lover, did not make a single attempt to break up with him, then it is useless to appeal to her morality and ethics. In addition, in the process there is a high probability of breaking down, getting into a fight and saying unnecessary things, showing your weakness and helplessness. You can bring down the arrogance of a homewrecker only with self-confidence, good manners and self-esteem.

Sometimes it is enough to coldly remind the husband and mistress about the jointly acquired property, which after the divorce is divided in half. Sometimes such psychological influence is effective enough to sober up both.

It will be more effective to take care of yourself, your appearance and psychological state. Shopping, frank conversations with friends, yoga and other sports activities will help relieve nervous tension. And you can regain your spouse’s trust and love through joint interests. It is enough to remember what once united lovers and try to use this knowledge.

We should not forget that a wife has a number of advantages over her mistress, who occupies a secondary position in a man’s life.

However, with its help, you can understand what made a man cheat; maybe he was attracted by the character or appearance of his new passion. In this case, this will be an excellent hint on how to change yourself for the better and save your family.

Reconsider your attitude towards moments of family life

There are certain rules in the family, by following which you can protect yourself from the appearance of a mistress in your husband’s life:

• Accept your husband for who he is.
• Don't play the role of "mom".
• Match your husband's status.
• Don't affect a man's self-esteem, don't mock him.
• Be sexually attractive to your husband.
• Be a friend your husband can rely on.
• Don't pretend to be a treasure trove of science.
• Show your husband that he is a worthy man.
• Notice everything a man does for you, thank him.

On what principle do conspiracies work?

Not in all situations the problem can be solved with the help of a psychologist’s advice. Very often, a spouse becomes a traitor for one reason: the mistress performed a certain magical ritual in order to bewitch the object she desired.

Then you can counteract it exclusively with the help of magic. And in this case, it is important to choose the right ritual or prayer, since any conspiracy has its own operating principle and is aimed at solving a specific problem. With the help of magical rituals you can:

• break the energetic connection between an unfaithful spouse and a homewrecker;
• cool the feelings between them, remove sexual attachment with the help of a lapel;
• eliminate the effect of a love spell made by a rival;
• cause mutual disgust in the husband and the other woman, etc.

You need to choose a specific ritual taking into account what you want to achieve with its help. Also, the plot should be energetically suitable for the person reading it.

You should also think carefully about safety precautions.

Magic must be taken seriously and with respect. You especially need to pay attention to various prohibitions that are not recommended to be violated in order to avoid negative consequences.

Under no circumstances should you use black slander, wish your mistress death or curse her. Any curse eventually turns against the one who sent it.

You should not use conspiracies if you do not have a strong belief in their effect. At best, they will turn out to be simply useless, and at worst, higher powers may punish for disrespect.

The most effective conspiracies and prayers

The most powerful ritual to discourage a husband from his mistress is the ritual from the Bulgarian soothsayer Vanga. It will require the following attributes:

• two photographs of spouses;
• knife with a wooden handle;
• two church candles;
• Red thread;
• beet.

You need to cut the vegetable into two equal parts. Make a cross-shaped cut in the middle of one of the halves. Add a drop of beet juice to each photo. Tie the candles with thread and light them. Arrange the pictures and beets in the form of a pyramid so that the vegetable is at the top point of the figure.

Next, you need to pronounce the spell: “I, God’s servant (reader’s name), am good on all sides. I beg the holy spirits to attract love to me. So that my husband can only think about his wife and not let other women in. Let him look only in my direction.” Then extinguish the flame and hide the candles along with the photographs where no one will find them.

You can also perform a very simple ritual with your spouse’s clothes in order to regain his favor and turn him away from his rival forever.

To do this, any item of the faithful, for example a shirt, must be turned inside out, thrown at your feet, taken off your shoes and stood on it.

After this, say the following magic words: “As I walk on this thing with bare feet, so my husband (the name of his beloved) will trample the homewrecker, the evil snake. As soon as the little thing turns out, my husband will rush to me, but he will abandon my rival and will not set foot on her threshold. Not to that house, but to this one, not to someone else’s wife, but to his betrothed. Amen".

Then the item needs to be hidden in the far corner of the closet or put in a drawer for three days. On the third day, take it out, turn it right side out and hang it next to other clothes.

Over the next three days, the item must be ironed. At the same time, say the words: “Come back to me, my dear. I will be affectionate with you, but only fear awaits you there. There will be anger in her house, and love in her home.”

Then the item needs to be placed next to the husband’s other clothes. It is advisable that he wear it every day for the first week after the ceremony.

Prayers for a quarrel between husband and mistress

Rituals that help to quarrel between a husband and his mistress are no less effective, but for them you need to know exactly the name of your rival. The easiest way to separate is using salt. To do this, you need to wait until the month in the sky begins to decrease.

Then take a little salt, squeeze it tightly in your palm, say a curse: “Just as salt has incredible power, so the quarrel will be strong and indestructible. Just as salt dissolves in boiling water, so a quarrel will soon happen. Let my betrothed never again look at another and see (name of her husband’s mistress). I slander the salty grains and attract swearing.” The spoken salt must be used to salt food for the whole family. This ritual is carried out every day for a week.

You can also turn your husband away from his mistress with the help of a chicken egg, which is better to buy at the market rather than in a store. To do this, you need to wait until midnight and the moment when the husband is fast asleep.

You need to pass an egg in a circle over your spouse’s head and read the following spell: “Thirty ravens are flying, and with them three chicks, with a heavy stone in their beaks. They will gobble up my treat and peck at my husband’s mistress and exterminate myself from the world. The egg will never spoil, it will reliably protect our family. As the heavenly light subsides, my rival will leave my family alone. And if he wants to break my happiness, he will be killed by those birds. Amen".

Then the charmed egg must be placed in a box. After that, hide it for a while in the bedroom under the bed.

For another simple method of breaking up an unfaithful spouse with a homewrecker, you will need a pin. She needs to be spoken to using these magic words: “Just as a pin is fastened so that it cannot be unfastened, so my family will hide from prying eyes. My betrothed will return and live with me forever.” Then pin it in an inconspicuous place on any of your husband’s things. After this, the husband will grow cold towards his mistress and even he himself will not understand how his feelings for her will pass.

If you have no desire to get involved with magic or have any concerns about this, then you can turn to the heavenly powers with a prayer. A prayer that needs to be read daily until they separate will help you get your husband away from his mistress.

The most effective is the “Our Father.” Every believer knows her words. You need to read an appeal to God every day, especially in moments of despair. This will give you strength in the fight for your husband and the preservation of your family.

Is it worth turning to esoteric methods?

There are many rituals on the Internet that can be performed at home to ward off your spouse’s mistress. They are done either for the return of the husband to the family, or for his quarrel with his mistress. You can perform the ritual on a piece of animal fur, on hawthorn, paper or water. In this case, it is necessary to use the texts of conspiracies and prayers, which must be said in church with a lit candle or at midnight at home.

There are also a lot of advertisements from famous fortune tellers who are ready to help your problem.

Whether to use these methods or not is your own decision. It is probably easier to trust a conspiracy or the actions of a fortune teller than to work on yourself and build a relationship with your spouse again. But the second method is more effective. Conspiracies and rituals are carried out by completely desperate women.

To drive a husband away from his mistress or a mistress away from her husband?

In some cases, it will be easier to influence your rival so that your spouse does not want to date her. In order to instill in a man’s heart a strong hostility towards his mistress, it is necessary to read the following magic words while preparing his beloved’s favorite dish: “Just as a dog and a cat cannot establish peace, so let my beloved (the name of the beloved) hate the homewrecker (the name of the rival). Just as a hot flame melts an ice floe, so my love will melt my husband’s heart. Just as water boils over a fire, so my husband’s love for me will flare up. Let it be so".

You can also make a cheater feel antipathy towards another woman.

To do this, you need to read the following conspiracy over dog excrement: “Just as everyone is disgusted by dog ​​waste, so my betrothed is disgusted by the woman (name of her rival). Just like the waste smells, so let it smell, so that people turn up their noses and disdain. Let everyone in the world feel bad around her. As I say, it will happen.”

If the name and address of your rival are known, then you can read a whisper in her back: “You are ugly to him, but I am better than everyone else. You are a snake to him, I am a sweet fruit. You are dirty earth, I am like sweet nectar. No one will cancel my magic or reprimand me. I'll tie the knots and whisper. Amen".

Before you discourage your husband from his mistress and force the homewrecker to stop loving her unfaithful spouse and forget about him, you need to photograph her. The ceremony will also require the following things:

• sandalwood incense;
• a candle bought in the temple;
• a teaspoon of poppy seeds.

Before the ceremony, you need to light a candle and fumigate the room so that it is filled with a pleasant aroma.

Next, sprinkle poppy on the photo of your lover and say: “Behind three mountains, behind three hills, a sleepy poppy grows. Whoever finds it, whoever picks it, will lose his memory. He won’t remember his loved one, his hateful one, or his own name. Intoxicating poppy, put a dope on the slave (the name of the mistress), close her eyelids, immobilize her tongue, she will not remember (the name of the spouse), will not see him, will not call him and love him. From now on and for all eternity. My word is strong."

Why do people lie

Many wives make the mistake of thinking that this other woman is younger, prettier and sexier. This rarely happens. The truth is, husbands cheat because they lack something inside. In fact, it has very little to do with you—and usually even less to do with her.

At some point in time, the lover was somehow able to evoke the emotions he was looking for. Often the rival makes him feel valuable, alive, attractive, and shows herself to be brilliant, mysterious and irresistible. But this may take a long time.

It is rare that a relationship between a man and his mistress turns into a long-term one; in the vast majority of cases, this woman is just a bump in the road, annoying and destructive, but short-lived.

How to consolidate the effect of a conspiracy

It’s not enough to just perform a ritual. Its action needs to be strengthened. To do this, first of all, you should keep the ritual performed in the strictest confidence and never tell anyone about it.

At the same time, you should try to improve your relationship with your unfaithful spouse. You need to show him attention, affection, and try with all your might to avoid reproaches. Calmness and courtesy are the best allies of a deceived wife in the fight against her mistress.

You should also take care of your mental state. Any conspiracies should be read in a calm voice. It is better to memorize them; reading from a piece of paper is ineffective.

You also need to take care of your own appearance: tidy yourself up, change your hairstyle, update your wardrobe so that your husband can look at the woman he once loved with different eyes. Then the effect of magic will increase significantly.

Why does my husband cheat?

Photo by Darina Belonogova: Pexels
Before figuring out how to get your husband to leave his mistress, let's look at why he cheated. The most common reasons for cheating:

• The novelty has disappeared in the relationship. A man wants to diversify his life, to get the emotions that he lacks in his family. He begins to show interest in other women.
• Constant scandals at home. Misunderstandings and quarrels often arise in families. Because of this, the husband is looking for a mistress who will allow him to take a break from scandals.

• Dissatisfaction in bed. This is the most common reason for cheating. Men are looking for a way to add variety to their sex life.
• The desire to make the wife jealous. It happens that men like it when their woman is jealous. To do this, they begin to show interest in other women, which entails betrayal.
• Lack of attention. In the family, everyday life cools feelings so much that the wife forgets about paying attention to her husband and gives out all her emotions to the child. As a result, he starts an affair on the side.

Prevention of betrayal

It is much easier to prevent betrayal than to correct its consequences. If there is no certainty that the husband is cheating, but the suspicions are too strong, you must first make sure whether the husband is having an affair. And to prevent his betrayal, you need to perform a ceremony with the web.

To do this, you need to find an aspen tree in a forest belt or park area, on the branches of which the spider has woven a web. Take a few thin spider threads with you, wrapping them in a handkerchief.

The web needs to be put in a cup of very hot tea and given to the husband, saying the following charming words: “The forest is growing, and there is an aspen tree in it, a terrible spider sits on it, it has 8 legs, with which it weaves its web. That spider made a catching net for the servant of God (husband’s name). The spider's saliva dissolves in hot water and is wrapped in a net so that my beloved does not meet with either girls or women. He will not see them either at dawn, or during the day, or at sunset, or in the dark night. Just as a monster does not leave its web, so if my betrothed (husband’s name) lived in my home, he would not be able to go anywhere and would only look at me.”

But the best way to prevent betrayal is love. Only a strong, deep and sincere feeling can keep a man close.

Olga F.

How to forget your lover

How to forget your lover.
If the question “ How to forget your mistress
?”
you have made up your mind and decided to return to marriage, a few recommendations on this topic, advice from psychologist Zberovsky on restoring a marriage may be useful to you! Attention: for a psychologist, a relationship with a mistress is an intimate relationship between a married man and an unmarried woman, where there is no birth of a common child.
Where there are long-term stable meetings and a joint child, we are no longer talking about a mistress, but about creating a “parallel family”, albeit not registered and not official, where the mistress practically becomes a wife. Moreover, very often, many people around are mistakenly convinced that the wife is just the mistress, but they don’t even know about the real wife. In this case, it is impossible to “forget your mistress”, since there is a common child who is not to blame for anything and who should be taken care of, educated, financed, etc. Here we are already talking about ending relationships along the “man-woman” line, but maintaining stable contact along the “mother-father-child” line; the word “forget” will no longer fit here. These situations are not described in the article; everything is different there. This article is intended for all categories of men: those who have already unsuccessfully tried to break up with their mistress several times; for those who are still planning to do it for the first time; on those who delayed this decision and waited until they were abandoned. But, most importantly, for those who, from their personal experience, have already become convinced that: breaking up with a mistress and forgetting a mistress are, unfortunately, far from the same thing!

So: how to forget your lover? Unfortunately, this issue is very relevant for millions of men around the world. Moreover, its relevance is connected not only with the very fact of the numerous infidelities, but with the fact that by regularly cheating on their wife with the same woman, men almost always underestimate the risk that they will fall deeply in love and become deeply attached. For a very long time it seems to men that they are “tough as flint,” but the first serious quarrel with parting with their mistress quickly puts them in their place, showing them that they will no longer be able to live as before, love’s leash is short, the collar is strict, and losing the woman who was optimal for sex is very painful. After which some men begin to dutifully serve the passion that has conquered them, giving gifts, financing her life and promising to leave the family; others flutter languidly, periodically testing the strength of the love trap: “What if it’s possible to escape from this woman right now?”

I’m not saying this by chance. Because it is important for me to dispel the myth that, unfortunately, is very common in the male community and the Internet. Namely, the myth that if you want to end your relationship with your mistress and forget your mistress, then you can supposedly “wind up” or “strangle” them slowly and smoothly: gradually reduce the number of personal meetings, calls and messages; have sex not at every meeting, but after a certain number of meetings; stop going as a couple to public places or to mutual friends; stop planning joint actions; take less and less deep interest in each other’s affairs, mood and well-being, etc. I’ll say right away: this scheme for ending a love relationship definitely doesn’t work! Not only is this sadism and mockery of people and their feelings, but it not only does not help to curtail and end the relationship, but also inflames passion even more. Especially for someone who “suffocates relationships” in this way. A person, in fact, “suffocates” himself. As a matter of fact, the greatest number of problems for a psychologist are caused by precisely such male lovers who, before breaking up with their mistress, tried to “quietly end the relationship” a certain number of times. They are the most difficult to work with. This is approximately the same as if a patient were brought to a surgeon who was trying to remove a trifling splinter from his finger with the help of a large ax or a powerful perforator.

Hence, I say: If a man himself has made a fundamental decision to stop cheating on his wife with another woman (or he is encouraged to do so by his wife who has learned about this relationship), such a decision can and should be successfully implemented only by immediately and abruptly ending the existing relationship. Without any agreements on the topic: “we are still close people and therefore we will periodically call each other for some time, keep each other informed about our lives, help each other in solving various problems, arrange nostalgic “evenings of meetings and memories” , have sex purely as a friend, etc.”

However, more about this a little later. Now I need to debunk another myth. The myth is that if a man does not see any prospects in a relationship with his mistress, but cannot and does not want to end the relationship himself, he just needs to become either very lethargic and apathetic, or, conversely, aggressive and jealous, and then the woman herself will do the same. his lover’s “dirty work”: he will get himself another partner and this relationship will end by itself. I’ll also say right away: this scheme not only does not work from the point of view of ending the connection with the mistress, but also works precisely to strengthen this connection, and it also hurts the psychology of the supposedly “abandoning” man, in particular his male pride.

Because, whatever the abstract-theoretical desire of a cheating husband to part with his mistress and forget his mistress, the information that some man has appeared in her bed (if different means better!) cannot leave anyone indifferent. Hence the outbursts of jealousy and rage, which means the logical rekindling of a seemingly fading fire of love and passion. It is from here that there is an acute desire to return that leaving woman, with whom, it would seem, just yesterday he sincerely tried to part with. Exactly from here there is such a sharp change in the behavior of the cheating husband, who begins to rush and run after his leaving passion, when because of this the wife’s observation suddenly turns on, and she, to her horror, belatedly notices her husband’s double life. It is from here that at least half of the cases when a man declares his readiness to leave the family and live with that woman who has already started sleeping with some other man, when before that he not only did not consider such an option for the development of his own biography, but also but also condemned!

And even if a man was able to gather all his will into a fist and allowed his mistress to say goodbye to him herself, this is almost guaranteed to affect his psyche and health! From such stress, a man’s immunity will collapse and depression will develop. After which, against the background of psychosomatics, blood pressure may increase, ulcers, asthma, eczema will begin to develop, all existing chronic diseases will worsen, etc. And even if he maintains his health, a man will not only be unable to improve his relationship with his existing wife, but also risks completely worsening and destroying it. In this case, the man will either slide into depression and alcoholism (with the destruction of his career and life in general), or search for new betrayals, where everything can happen again and again. With the continued deterioration of the man’s physical and mental health.

I will say more: it is the adultery of men, with attempts to stop the “left” relationship according to the schemes of “smooth winding down” and “let her find someone else,” that provides at least half of the strokes, heart attacks, cases of alcoholism and suicide among men, as well as for many years and even shortens the life span of men by decades. If you value your life, I directly advise you not only not to cheat on your wives, but also not to experiment on yourself, trying to reinvent the wheel and come up with some kind of original scheme for breaking up with your mistress. Millions of men who lost their money, careers and families, became disabled and died prematurely could share with you their interesting stories about this. But due to the brevity of this article, I do not have the opportunity to describe all this to you.

Having given you a useful warning, I move on to the essence and concrete plan. How to forget your lover after several months or years of relationship? To make this possible, it is important to behave correctly during the first three, psychologically most difficult months. It is at this time that the psyche experiences the greatest stress and needs every possible help. To do this, apply these simple, but extremely useful and thousand-times proven tips of mine.

20 tips on how to forget your lover:

1. How to forget your lover - The final conversation should be personal, but brief.

A man should have a personal conversation with his mistress, clearly indicating that this relationship is ending completely and forever. It is pointless, useless and unnecessary to justify this decision with anything other than the desire to save your marriage. Firstly, you may not be heard because there is a feeling of love and affection for you and/or you have money. Secondly, this conversation cannot be turned into working with objections, when the mistress will either respond to your complaints or promise to fix everything. All this is equally unnecessary for you.

It’s still right to talk in person, and not over the phone or in correspondence. Since in these cases the woman will still look for a personal meeting with you to talk face to face. Of course, the conversation should be conducted while sober. There should be no insults or rudeness in it, since both parties are always guilty of treason. Moreover, after the conversation that you are putting an end to it, there should be no intimate relationships. They expressed their firm position and left. No matter how itchy the feeling of greed may be, you cannot take any of your gifts, neither jewelry, nor cars, nor anything else: If you were a man in a relationship with a woman, you need to remain a man at the time of separation and after it.

2. How to forget your mistress - You need to be prepared for the fact that your mistress will fight for you.

You need to understand: as long as a man treats a woman normally and has money and some opportunities, it is difficult for her to let him go. Therefore, a man should be prepared to be persecuted: they will write to him on social networks and through all types of communications; call on the phone; keep watch near home, work and gym; create any excuse to “sort of by chance” meet anywhere; threaten suicide; blackmail by talking to your wife or transmitting compromising information to the police or tax office; ask for help in specially created critical situations, such as road accidents, illnesses, etc.

No matter how unexpected and unpleasant all this may seem, no matter how harsh words are thrown at him, no matter how much the abandoned lover tries to cause pain to a man and harm to his property, one must behave calmly and not succumb to provocations. Therefore, a man who has separated from his mistress may well visit a psychologist or psychotherapist in a timely manner, including by prescribing sedatives or sleeping pills and even antidepressants.

3. How to forget your mistress - After breaking up with your mistress, you need to completely block all communication channels. Block her on all phones and social networks. If necessary, even close your profiles or remove yourself from social networks altogether. Quit your job or change office and department if your mistress is your colleague. Change your routes to work and to the places you usually visit and where you might run into your ex-girlfriend. Refuse to walk in those places where you walked together, from visits to those cafes and shops where she may pay a visit; from visiting common groups of friends and those events where a meeting is possible.

4. How to forget your lover - Do not be interested in the life of your former passion, both personal and in general. Do not let your mutual acquaintances or your lover’s friends specially sent to you tell you about how she lives. Don't follow her social media profiles; do not be jealous of her new relationship partners and do not sort things out with them, do not count how many hours she spends in various instant messengers. Don’t congratulate her on holidays or her birthday, don’t offer your help and advice, don’t do nasty things to her or her loved ones. Just archive the entire history of your communication and forget about it.

5. How to forget your lover - Remove everything that can cause associations with your former lover. First of all, remove all her gifts (scarves, ties, cufflinks, pens, gadgets, etc.). Erase all her photos and messages on your phone and social networks, burn all letters and printed photographs, throw away those personal belongings that the girl did not take from your meeting places (toothbrushes, stockings, perfume, etc.). Stop consuming the dishes that she prepared or preferred. Do not watch her favorite programs, films, TV series, Internet channels, etc. Do not travel to those countries, cities and hotels where you traveled with your mistress. If you had sex with her in your car, sell the car and buy another one. If you rented an apartment for meetings, rent it back. If you went to the same gym, spa center or beauty salon, change it all. And so on throughout the entire possible list of associations. The more associations you eliminate, the easier it will be to forget.

6. How to forget your mistress - Remove all associations with the very situation of parting with your mistress. First of all, do not listen to music with songs in your native language, as it will seem to you that all the tragic love songs were written specifically about you. Listen to either music or songs in languages ​​unfamiliar to you, and not sad ones, but only invigorating ones. For the same reason, don’t watch TV series - they all parasitize on the theme of unhappy love. And do not participate in the conversations of your friends and colleagues on the topic of relationships, unhappy love, divorce, infidelity, etc. But you can enthusiastically watch action films, science fiction, popular science films of any subject. The principle applies here: the more vivid and interesting information you learn, the easier it will be for you to distract yourself from worries about breaking up with your lover.

7. How to forget your lover - Avoid excessive alcohol consumption. During a period of stress after the end of a relationship, in strict accordance with genetic presets, a man’s brain only thinks about how to restore connection with a familiar sexual object. He will use every opportunity for this, and drunken breakdowns are the most optimal opportunity for this. Hence, during the first months you need to either eliminate it altogether, or at least minimize the consumption of alcoholic beverages. Otherwise, when you're drunk, you'll either call or text your ex, or start watching in the yard of her house. After which everything will be restored and spin with renewed vigor.

8. How to forget your mistress - Restore and brighten your intimate relationship with your wife. If, having lost a sexual partner that is comfortable for you, you cannot get the same quantity and quality of sex (those types) that took place in bed with your mistress, your struggle to end the relationship will either be extremely painful for you, or will end with the restoration of the broken connection or the emergence of new lover. Therefore, work with your wife at any cost so that sexual revival occurs in the family. To do this, help your wife in everyday life and with the children, spend interesting leisure time with your wife. Don't skimp on your legal wife: spend a lot of money on updating her wardrobe (including underwear), send her to nutritionists, stylists and makeup artists, beauty salons, spas and a swimming pool. If you can make your wife attractive to you both on the street and in bed, your chances of being forgotten by your mistress will increase. If you can't do this, there will be problems. Therefore, this still needs to be done. And, quickly.

9. How to forget your mistress - Pay increased attention to sports and nutrition. First of all, pay increased attention to endurance and strength training. Try to run cross-country races (including on a cardio machine) for at least ten kilometers, pedal an exercise bike or a bicycle. Work out large muscle groups until it hurts - hips, chest, back, triceps. The more you sweat and get tired, the more your body will produce the hormone serotonin, which is a natural antidepressant and will quickly utilize the “bad” hormones released from the stress of separation - adrenaline and norepinephrine. This will give you good sleep and save you from treatment with medical antidepressants and sleeping pills. It will be especially good if you start visiting together with your legal spouse and (if possible) children.

In addition: during the period of separation, do not forget to pamper yourself with tasty and sweet things: cakes, buns, candies, cookies, cakes, nuts, condensed milk, cocoa, coffee, etc. All this contains the important amino acid tryptophan, from which your body will produce hormones that stabilize your behavior - serotonin, dopamine, endorphin. Don’t be afraid to “seize” the problem in the first months after a breakup - with active sports behavior, you will easily burn these calories, but your psychology will be in a positive tone.

10. How to forget your lover - Find interesting or even extreme activities, preferably in the fresh air and under the rays of the Sun. Hobbies such as motorsports, mountain biking, rafting, diving, parachuting, bungee jumping, mountaineering, rock climbing, speleology, surfing, kiting, yachting, paragliding, hang gliding, alpine skiing, snowboarding, snowmobiling, horse riding, archery, knife fighting , tough combat sports (etc.), forcing the brain to concentrate on new and complex activities, distract a person so much from the sad feelings of separation that they give a quick and positive effect. Especially if all this happens in the fresh air and under the rays of the Sun, which is also necessary for the production of natural antidepressants in the body.

In my practice, I have encountered stories where the rapid forgetting of mistresses was associated with such activities as search work (at places of former battles), treasure hunting, underwater hunting and search diving, spinning trophy fishing, regular hunting, sports poker (without money), hockey , football and even billiards. The main thing is to get carried away with it seriously and do it systematically.

11. How to forget your lover - Stay at home less, be in the company of people more often. Being at home, in a familiar interior and social circle, does not give the brain any work, and does not distract from sad feelings about the loss of lovers. The brain should be maximally loaded all the time. To do this, during the first months, try to only sleep at home, going out with your family to visit friends, as well as to shopping and entertainment complexes, for walks along embankments and parks, to cinemas and cafes, to theaters and museums. Not only will this develop you culturally, but you will repay the debt to your children and wife, whom you clearly abandoned during the heyday of your relationship with your mistress.

12. How to forget your lover - Throw yourself into work. Cheating rarely leads to a man's career and financial rise. There is a different kind of pattern here: a career and financially successful man is quickly approached by women who want to give birth to him. And while a man either meets these women’s wishes or stubbornly evades the role destined for him, he gradually starts his work activity. Therefore, having decided to break off ties with your mistress, it’s time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. Thus creating the starting conditions for a new start to success. Just be careful with staying in the office for a long time in the evening: another woman may have her eye on a lonely working man...

13.Keep yourself busy with social, political, charitable, religious, educational projects. If you are doing so well at work or in business that you have a lot of free time, you need to find where to use it. Otherwise, some other woman will invade the time that you previously specially set aside for visits to your mistress. Therefore, you can and should read the Internet, get acquainted with those public, political, charitable, religious, educational projects that are being implemented in your village, city or region. And try yourself in something that piques your interest. Maybe you are an excellent volunteer, a future human rights activist, a philanthropist or deputy, an educator or people's inspector. And it is precisely thanks to the suffering that you go through after breaking up with your mistress that some important pages of your biography will open.

14.How to forget your lover - Renew and expand your circle of friends. The most interesting thing we do when we capture a person’s entire brain is the analysis of those new people who appear in our social circle. Therefore, in order to forget one person, you should meet and start communicating with people new to you. These could be your work colleagues with whom you have not communicated before; parents of those children with whom your children play in kindergarten, school or club; neighbors in the entrance or parking lot; those who attend the same gym or swimming pool with you; fishermen and hunters, those people who share your hobby or interests. Active communication with such people, especially if you can involve your entire family in it, will definitely have a beneficial effect on your psychological state.

15. How to forget your mistress - Improve your educational level. If you find it difficult to start communicating with new people on your own initiative, remember: for this you can and should use various group classes for anything: retraining and advanced training courses, foreign language courses, business schools, personal growth training, any other educational courses, including classes in wine schools or proper dietary nutrition. Remember: where there are people, interesting information and cheerful laughter, it will definitely become much easier for you to cope with parting with your lover.

16.How to forget your lover - Take exciting trips around the region, country and world. Another great way not to sit at home, meet new people and dissolve depression from the loss of a lover into vivid impressions is trips and travel. Moreover, we are not talking about lazy trips to five-star all-inclusive hotels, but about those tours that you will develop for yourself. You don’t have to hitchhike; you can rent a car or drive your own car, organize a bus or even a bicycle tour around your region or abroad. There are also voyages on luxury liners, ecological, photographic, gastronomic, religious, historical and cultural, volcanological, speleological and even fishing tourism. Everything is open to you, your friends and of course, your family. And it will also bring positivity into your life.

17. How to forget your lover - Never tell the story of your betrayal to other people. It is known: “who knows what, and the lousy one - about the bathhouse!” This proverb reflects the fact that the leading theme for personal experiences necessarily asks to come out, strives to become a public property. And this is precisely where the mechanism of self-preservation of experiences is hidden: the more people you tell about your feelings and sad experiences, the better you will remember it and become more deeply imbued with it. Therefore, trying to forget both your mistress and your feelings about the separation as quickly as possible, you should avoid talking about this story. There is no need to discuss the identity of your ex-girlfriend with your wife, friends, colleagues, or other women. Because there is a very high risk of working yourself up so emotionally that you can’t stand it and go into a tailspin: call or write to your ex-lover, automatically transferring her to the “current” category. And it will be very difficult to push this genie back into the bottle.

So, no matter how someone talks about their own infidelities in your presence, no matter how much it corresponds to your own personal experience, keep your mouth shut!

18. How to forget your mistress - Start building something, change your apartment or region/country of residence. Another proven way to distract yourself from melancholy is to start renovating your apartment, or build a house or cottage, or move to a completely different region or even country to live. Such drastic changes force a person to fully mobilize all his volitional, intellectual and emotional abilities, and the complexity of what lies ahead distracts you from everything that happened in the past. So there you will leave the longing for your mistress...

19. How to forget your mistress - Review your meaning of life, come up with new goals and Missions. The very presence of a lover with whom you have a delicious dinner, have hot fun in bed, have fun in your leisure time and spend your (or rather, family) money means that you live according to a biological scenario, not much different from male chimpanzees or gorillas. So maybe the time has come to remember that you are, after all, a Human being, and therefore there should be some Great Meaning, some Great Goals and an Important Mission in your life?! I will not now impose on you the options for all this, just read my articles under the headings “The Meaning of Life” on the website zberovski.ru” and you will have something to think about. And I would really like you to think about it. Because the appearance of a mistress is always a clear sign that a man has stopped thinking about what he is doing and why he is doing it. To distract yourself and forget about past betrayal, it’s time to find something deep and intellectual in yourself, rather than superficial and physical. In the end, you should be remembered in this world not by the number of women or the amount of money spent on them, but by some other qualities and achievements. For what - it depends only on you.

20. How to forget your mistress - Eliminate the creation of new betrayals. As a psychologist, I admit the fact that “wedges are knocked out with wedges.” The easiest way to forget one woman is when another, even more interesting one appears in a man’s life. But the trouble is that forgetting one lover in the arms of other women has many risks. Firstly, it is quite difficult to immediately fall in love with someone else: in the first months and even years after separation, the love program and the associated adaptation to a permanent sexual partner will hinder this in every possible way. And the disappointment that the charm of other women is not enough to forget his former lover can make a man believe that that woman was truly “the one and only,” thereby provoking the restoration of the relationship. Another scenario is also possible: an unspent, keen desire to give your warmth can easily switch to another sexual object, deceiving both you and your new friend. It will seem to you that you have finally found what you were missing so much in life, you will cling to another friend literally with all your might, conquer her with your activity, convince her to start creating a serious relationship with you, and then... one day you will come to your senses and you will understand that you just recovered like that, but this woman still did not become close and dear to you. But the mechanism for the collapse of your life and the life of this other woman may already be in motion; you promise what you cannot fulfill; Several more years of your and other people’s lives will be lost...

Hence, I strongly advise: if you do not have a clearly made decision to leave your family, there is no need to deceive yourself and others with empty illusions: it is better to grit your teeth and endure a post of love suffering for several months, and then concentrate on developing your own personality and career, rather than break into another bed a cycle where new orgasms will only be well-forgotten old ones.

However, this is described in great detail in my books: “13 ways to overcome the crisis of a love relationship”, “How to assess the strength of your marriage”, “Sharp corners of young families”, “Stories of a family psychologist”.

Sincerely, family psychologist, Doctor of Science, Professor Andrey Zberovsky.

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