Prayer for a deceased son

Fear of death

One of the greatest and most exciting mysteries for man is death. The departure of loved ones often plunges people into deep despair and hopeless despondency. And this is not surprising. After all, man was originally created immortal for an eternal joyful life in Paradise next to God. Therefore, prayer for a deceased son is an important consolation for grief-stricken parents.

“God created man for incorruptibility and made him the image of His eternal existence; but through the envy of the devil death entered the world, and those who belong to his inheritance experience it” (Wis. 2-23,24).

Death entered the first man at the moment of his fall and is an inevitable consequence of life.

Why can't the dead help themselves?

While a person is alive, he can always repent, which means he can receive forgiveness from God. But after death, a person’s soul can no longer intercede for itself before the Lord, but the living can.

How and where the soul of the deceased will live in the future depends on a combination of three main factors - on the Grace of the Lord, on how the person lived in this world and on our prayers (petitions, requests, actions...) for the deceased.

Our prayers for the newly deceased are especially important, since it is within 40 days after death that the further spiritual fate of a person is determined. Will the soul go to Hell or Heaven? It largely depends on our prayers. When praying for the newly deceased, we ask God for mercy towards the deceased, giving a reason to “relax” the punishment.

But even after forty days we can improve the situation of the souls of the departed. Our every prayer for the deceased, every prayer service for him is an occasion for the Lord to improve the situation of the soul of the deceased.

Death is not the end

However, the view of death changes radically with the coming to earth of Jesus Christ. His voluntary atoning sacrifice for all humanity made people heirs of eternal life in the Kingdom of God.

Christ Himself says: “...I am the resurrection and the life; He who believes in Me, even if he dies, will live; and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die” (John 11:25-26).

Therefore, for an Orthodox Christian, grief over the loss of a loved one becomes not an inconsolable grief. Instead comes the quiet sadness of temporary separation.

“Holy Scripture shows us what we lose through death in this life and what we gain in the future: we gain eternal, painless life - a life in which there is no confusing passion, no withering envy, no offending troubles, in which there is no decrepit old age and infancy. weaknesses, but an ever-blooming state, not subject to any changes, a blissful stay, without any limits; an immaculate life, removed from all worldly temptations” (Reverend Leo of Optina).

Prayer of the living - help for the dead

The Lord Jesus Christ said: “God is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for with Him all live” (Luke 20:38).

People who are healthy on earth need prayer. But prayer help is needed to an even greater extent for the deceased.

“Just as we pray for the living, who are no different from the dead, so we can pray for the dead” (St. John Chrysostom).

The soul, having been separated from the body, can no longer change anything in its posthumous fate. She is deprived of the opportunity to do good deeds and bear the fruits of repentance. And only the sincere prayer of the living for the repose of the dead can help the soul to become at the right hand of the Lord at the Last Judgment.

This is how Righteous John of Kronstadt speaks about it:

“Some say: why remember the names of the dead or the living when praying for them? God, as omniscient, himself knows these names, and also knows the needs of everyone. But those who say this forget or do not know the importance of prayer, do not know how important the word spoken from the heart is - they forget that the justice of God and the mercy of God are bowed down by our heartfelt prayer, which the Lord, in His goodness, credits as if to the dead or living themselves as merit , as members of the one body of the Church."

How and when to pray for the dead?

When a person dies, he is deprived of the right to vote in the Kingdom of God and humbly awaits higher decisions. Therefore, it is very important to pray in the first 40 days after death for the repose of the soul. Children's prayers for deceased parents or other deceased relatives delight the soul and the memory of the newly deceased lives forever. You can pray at home and in the cemetery in the morning and evening. It is recommended to read the special Canon.

The following prayers should be ordered for the deceased in the first days after death:

Funeral service.
Sorokoust about the repose of the soul - in one church or several churches at the same time.
The Undying Psalter.

It is believed that in the first three days after death, the spirit of the deceased is close to the body, so you should not mourn the deceased person too much, so as not to cause him suffering. Relatives need to read the Psalter for 40 days and light candles for the repose of the soul in the church. If it is not possible to read all the psalms, then the seventeenth funeral kathisma and the 118th psalm are read. You can only pray for unbaptized relatives and for suicides at home: such people are not buried or have a memorial liturgy held for them in church.

Prayer for the dead is not witchcraft

Warm prayer, imbued with faith and hope in the mercy of the Lord, is a continuation of our love for our deceased relatives. This is our tribute to their memory and respect. However, one should not be mistaken that the mere reading of certain prayers will lead the deceased to heavenly abode. This is not some magical conspiracy.

According to Christ: “...The kingdom of heaven is taken by force...” (Matthew 11:12). Therefore, the sincere prayer of an Orthodox Christian must be supported by the fulfillment of Christ’s commandments. It is necessary to give alms, do good deeds and show complete trust in God's Providence.

“There is still, truly there is an opportunity if we want to ease the punishment of a deceased sinner. If we make frequent prayers for him and give alms, then even if he was unworthy in himself, God will hear us. If for the sake of the Apostle Paul He saved others and for the sake of some He spared others, then how can He not do the same for us? (St. John Chrysostom).

Fortieth day after death

It is believed that exactly forty days are necessary for the soul of the deceased in order to be ready to accept the mercy and grace of the Lord and admission to the Kingdom of Heaven. According to church teaching, on the fortieth day the spirit of the deceased appears before the eyes of the Lord for the last, third time. In other words, on the fortieth day it is decided whether the soul will gain the Kingdom of Heaven or be given over to eternal torment.

After this period, clergy consider the deceased to be of blessed memory. This means that a person must always be remembered, without observing any specific dates.

Prayer for deceased children

Parents who have lost children experience a special kind of pain. The death of someone to whom you once gave life seems meaningless and unnatural.

However, an Orthodox Christian must remember that the Lord takes a person to Eternity at the most necessary moment. Precisely when he is ready for this eternal life next to Christ.

An example is the case from the biography of the martyr Huar. After his martyrdom in the 4th century, the righteous widow Cleopatra buried the relics of the saint. Then she erected a temple at the burial site. Soon after this, her young son, a valiant warrior, died suddenly. The inconsolable mother, in bitter tears, fell on the coffin with the relics of the martyr Huar and begged for her son to be returned to her. After much sobbing, Cleopatra seemed to fall asleep and saw her son next to the holy martyr. Both of them were dressed in shining clothes with golden crowns on their heads.

Then Cleopatra realized that the premature death of her son was timely for his inheritance of the Kingdom of Heaven. After this, she distributed her property and began to live at the temple of the martyr Huar. The rest of the widow's life was sanctified by fasting and prayer for her deceased son.

Every bereaved parent can choose which path to take. Some people let grief overcome them and fall into severe despondency. Or you can be like the righteous Cleopatra and fervently pray for the immortal soul of your child.

When to read

You can come to church and light a candle for the repose of the dead and mention them in your prayer on any day, without waiting for memorable days.
But there are customs and traditions that require obligatory commemoration. It is important to read a daily prayer for the newly deceased for up to 40 days. During this period, the soul of the deceased son needs to find peace, know Heaven and appear before the Lord. You also need to pray for your son on the third, ninth and fortieth day after his death.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUtr1MlftTA

No one knows what awaits a person in the afterlife. But according to Orthodox tradition, it is believed that the soul of the deceased lives next to his body for the first three days or visits places dear to his heart during his lifetime. Three days later she flies off to the afterlife. Until the ninth day, she gets acquainted with the tabernacles of paradise, and then prepares to appear before the Court of the Lord. This happens only on the 40th day after death.

But even after this period one cannot stop asking the Lord for mercy towards the soul of the deceased son. Each prayer service for his soul provides an opportunity for the Lord to improve its situation.

Praying for the souls of the departed is the sacred duty of all, which falls on the remaining living relatives. By reading prayers and praying for deceased relatives, you can give them the only good that they expect in the afterlife - this is the remembrance of the Lord himself.

The mother must read a prayer for her deceased son every day until the fortieth day. But on certain days there are special commemorations that should not be missed.

The first time the deceased is remembered in church is on the third day after the person’s death. The timing was not chosen by chance - it is connected with the Holy Trinity and the time of the resurrection of Jesus. The belief that the soul, after death, visits places dear to it, accompanied by an Angel, did not arise out of nowhere and long before the advent of Orthodoxy.

Therefore, immediately after the death of your son, you need to start reading with a request for mercy for his soul. Often sudden death is associated with an accident or in a dream when a person is not prepared for it. His spirit will rush among living people, not seeing the path to the Kingdom of Heaven. That is why a mother should read prayers for her deceased son immediately and not wait until the third day.

The prayer for the deceased son is strong and sincere, so it is read in one’s own words. Not a single ready-made text can express the pain that is present in the soul of a mother who has survived her own child. If you don’t have the strength to gather your own thoughts and pray, you can use ready-made options.

The ninth day after death according to the Orthodox faith is associated with the number of angelic ranks. It is on these days that Angels come to the Lord to ask for mercy for the soul of the deceased and forgiveness for sins committed during life.

On this day, you definitely need to pray for your son, because his soul begins to feel fear and sadness about its fate. Only a natural mother is able to reach the Lord, asking for goodness for her son’s soul. The text of the prayer can be anything, the main thing is simple and understandable. Better in Russian: “Merciful God! Do not leave the soul of your servant (name) without forgiveness and joy, because there is no one who has sinned. Amen".

The death of a person is a tragedy for his family and friends. Sometimes it seems that nothing can be done to help the deceased, except for a funeral, a wake, a monument at the grave and the good memory of other people. But actually it is not.

Since ancient times, Christians have spoken about the importance of prayer for the dead. It can be short and in your own words, it can be silent when a person cannot speak because of his grief, but it can also be long.

Many holy fathers themselves composed prayers for the dead. According to legend, the first example of a prayer of permission, which is placed in the hand of the deceased, was written by the Monk Theodosius of Pechersk in the second half of the 11th century at the request of one of the Kyiv princes.

Even earlier, in the 8th century, the famous theologian and defender of holy icons, St. John of Damascus, in memory of his deceased friend, composed 13 funeral stichera, which can still be heard at funeral services. However, the Church takes care of a person even at the most tragic moment of his life, when the soul is separated from the body - for this there is a special prayer for people who are in long and painful agony.

Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh spoke wonderfully about the Church’s love for the human body, which manifests itself during the funeral service: “We find this love, this care, this reverent attitude towards the body in Orthodoxy; and this is reflected in a surprising way in the funeral service. We surround this body with love and attention;

According to the teachings of the Church, it is very important to pray for a newly deceased (recently deceased person) in the first forty days from the moment of death, since at this time the soul of a person goes to either heaven or hell before the Last Judgment, but prayers for the dead are needed even after this period. After death, a Christian cannot independently alleviate his fate, but the prayers of loved ones, commemoration at the liturgy and the distribution of alms with a request to remember a person can change a person’s fate at the Last Judgment.

Once in the Kiev-Pechersk Monastery they buried a monk who had many unconfessed sins. Other monks, together with the abbot, saw at night how their careless brother was tormented in hell. The amazed monks began to pray for the sinner, and in new visions the brother’s face became lighter and more peaceful. In the end, Christ forgave this man’s sins, and he went to heaven.

There are many ways to pray for the dead: you can submit a note to the proskomedia for commemoration at the liturgy, order a memorial service or a short litiya, or you can pray at home.

Mother's prayer for her deceased son

There is probably no greater grief than that experienced by a mother who has lost her son. It seems that nothing on earth can dull the pain of loss. However, in the words of Christ: “what is impossible with men is possible with God” (Luke 18:27). Only surrendering oneself into the hands of the Lord and trusting His Divine Providence will provide healing from pain. Here are the words of consolation in such a situation that Saint Ignatius Brianchaninov spoke:

“Rely on the mercy of our Creator, show submission to His Holy will and be comforted by the hope that your dear son, through temporary death, came to Eternal Life, where we too will one day be called. You repay him the debt of your parental love - by caring for the remembrance of his soul, by church prayers and alms. And this should console you with the hope of God’s mercy, that the Lord grants him such commemoration, this is his best legacy here, passing with him into the future...”

The most important thing a mother can do both for herself and for her deceased child is a mother’s prayer for her deceased son. It’s not for nothing that people uttered deep wisdom: “A mother’s prayer will reach you from the bottom of the sea.” There are a huge number of miracles known that confirm the power of maternal prayer.

One of the most famous examples is the feat of Saint Monica, the mother of Blessed Augustine. Seeing the sinful life of her son, she tearfully prayed to God to guide him on the Christian path. And the Lord did not leave the fervent mother’s prayer unanswered. Blessed Augustine not only accepted Christianity, but became one of the Fathers of the Church.

And today there is evidence of the saving power of maternal prayer. For example, the Orthodox Newspaper of April 12, 2016 cites the case of a priest’s son. Being a mountaineering enthusiast, the young man went on another expedition. Suddenly at night the mother seemed to hear her son’s voice: “Help! Help! Waking up her husband, she began to fervently pray to God. When he returned, his son said that the insurance broke and he almost crashed on sharp rocks. Miraculously, at the most decisive moment, the rope stopped swinging, and his friends were able to pull him out.

Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom your deceased servant, my child (name), and create for him eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord.
I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth, with Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my deceased child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins as well, so that they may not remain on our children: we know that we have sinned many times before You, many of whom we have not observed, and have not done, as You commanded us. If our deceased child, ours or his own, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and his God: if you loved the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the pleasures of life, and not more than with contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been consigned to oblivion - I earnestly pray to Thee, forgive, most good Father, all such sins of my child, forgive and weaken, even if you have done other evil in this life . Christ Jesus!
You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, remove eternal torment and dwell with all Your saints, who have pleased You from the ages, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Widow's Prayer

Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I run to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer brought to You with tears. You, Lord, Master of all, have deigned to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was Your good and wise will that you would take this servant of Yours away from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow at separation from Your servant, my friend. Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. Just as you once accepted two mites from widows, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your deceased servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word, or in deed, or in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not deliver him to eternal torment, but according to Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit them with Thy saints, where there is no sickness or sorrow. no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive all his sins and place him in the Heavenly abodes, which You have prepared for those who love Cha. For even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even until your last breath of confession; impute to him the same faith, even in You, instead of works: for there is no man who will live and not sin, You are the only one besides sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and confess that You will hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from me. Seeing a widow weeping green, you were merciful, and you brought her son to the grave, carrying her to the grave; How did You open to Your servant Theophilus, who went to You, the doors of Your mercy and forgave him his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: here and I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into ; eternal life. For You are our hope, You are God, to have mercy and to save, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Prayer for dead children

Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the life of Thy eternal servant (Thy servant) (name), and as he is good and a lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, exonerating him (her) at Your holy second coming into the communion of Your eternal blessings, for the sake of which there is only faith in You, the true God and Lover of mankind.
For Thou art the resurrection and life and rest of Thy servant (Thy servant) (name), Christ our God. And we send glory to You, with Your beginningless Father and with the Most Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, Amen.

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Chapter 3 God's word will help in maternal suffering

At the foot of Christ she

Pure blue fire

The calling Word burns.

And the Cup of Ascension shines.

Lord, drink up our tears

And look at the flame of our heart."

We cannot constantly be near our children, leading them by the hand, protecting them from harm. But we can and must pray for them. Just pray for their mental and physical health - at least in the morning and before bed, in any words that fall on your heart.

“There are hours in the life of a Christian of joyless sorrow and illness, in which it seems as if the Lord has completely abandoned and abandoned you, for there is not the slightest feeling of the presence of God in your soul. These are hours of temptation for the faith, hope, love, and patience of a Christian. Soon “cool times from the face of the Lord” will come for him again, soon the Lord will rejoice him again, so that he will not fall under temptation,” wrote the holy wonderworker John of Kronstadt.

Prayer is the expression of our inner desires. Parental prayer is very sincere and strong. It protects our children from visible and invisible enemies, from all filth. It is not without reason that they say that parental prayer is such that the Lord does not refuse fathers and mothers even when it would be more useful to refuse.

And if you believe in the Lord, even in your own way, and even if you are not baptized, read them with all the passion of your soul and faith, and divine help will come to you and your children. The prayer of a mother caring for her children is especially significant: there is no purer and more effective prayer in the world.

You need to pray for a child even when he is still in the womb. The Orthodox Church invites all pregnant women to recite the following prayer:

Prayer to all pregnant women

Prayers to the Mother of God

Parents' prayer for children

“Lord Jesus Christ, awaken Your mercy on my children (names), keep them under Your roof, close them from all evil lust, drive away from them every enemy and adversary, open their ears and the eyes of their hearts, grant tenderness and humility to their hearts.

Lord, we are all Your creation, have pity on my children (names) and turn them to repentance.

Save, O Lord, and have mercy on my children (names), and enlighten their minds with the light of the mind of Your Gospel and guide them on the path of Your commandments, and teach them, O Savior, to do Your will, as You are our God. Amen".

Mother's prayer for children

“Mother of God, lead me into the image of Your heavenly motherhood. Heal the mental and physical wounds of my children (names) caused by my sins. I entrust my child entirely to my Lord Jesus Christ and Your, Most Pure, heavenly patron. Amen".

Prayer “A mother’s sigh for her children”

“Righteous Judge, who punishes children for the sins of their parents to the third and fourth generation, turn away such punishment from my children, do not punish them for my sins; but sprinkle them with the dew of Thy grace, that they may excel in virtue and holiness, that they may grow in Thy favor and in the love of pious people. ".

Father's prayer for children

Decorate their lives with all that is good and saving, arrange their fate as You yourself want, and save their souls through your destinies!

Lord, God of our Fathers! Give to my children (names) and godchildren (names) a right heart to keep Your commandments, Your revelations and Your statutes. And do it all. Amen".

Prayer to the holy seven youths of Ephesus: Maximilian, Jamblichus, Martinian, John, Dionysius, Exacustodian and Antoninus. About the sleepless baby

Prayer to the Righteous Simeon the God-Receiver.

About the health of infants and their preservation from danger, about those in custody or captivity

Prayer to the Great Martyr Nikita.

For witchcraft effects on children, and healing from a relative

Hey, servant of God and long-suffering martyr! Do not forget your holy monastery and all the nuns and worldly people living and striving in it, but hasten to bear the yoke of Christ in humility and patience and graciously deliver them from all troubles and temptations. Bring us all into a quiet haven of salvation and make us worthy to be heirs of the blessed Kingdom of Christ through your holy prayers: may we glorify and sing the great generosity of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, in the Trinity glorified and worshiped God, and your holy intercession forever and ever. Amen".