Definition
Christian love is not just an ordinary feeling. It represents life itself, imbued with noble deeds pleasing to God. This phenomenon represents a manifestation of the highest benevolence towards every creature of God. A person who is characterized by this type of love is able to demonstrate this benevolence at the level of both external behavior and specific deeds. Christian love for one's neighbor is, first of all, actions, and not empty words.
For example, Ignatius Brianchaninov sternly warns: if a person believes that he loves the Almighty, but in reality an unpleasant disposition towards at least someone lives in his soul, then he is in the most woeful self-delusion. There can be no question of the presence of grace here. Now we can say that Christian love is a synonym for benevolence or mercy. John Chrysostom also speaks of its importance: “If all mercy on earth is destroyed, then all living things will perish and be destroyed.” Indeed, if the remnants of mercy on our planet are destroyed, then humanity will destroy itself through wars and hatred.
How to get love
Obviously, this means the acquisition of God's love. For, according to the above, the concupiscible power of the soul, i.e. Every person has the ability to love. However, some direct it to low objects, making their love low, while others elevate it, directing it to high objects. Above all is God, therefore the highest is the love of God: the love of God for man and the love of man for God.
How to acquire the latter? Of course, for an Orthodox Christian, Christian asceticism is an enduring example of this. Through which passions are overcome, especially the three main ones: voluptuousness; love of money; love of fame – I release all these three “loves”, i.e. love (the lustful power of the soul), which they sinfully bound. And this love, freed from the prison of passions, is itself directed towards God and becomes the love of God.
This is what all the saints have always done, but... for today’s man this is quite difficult. Although he doesn’t care, if he wants to find the love of God, he should not avoid Christian asceticism, but he must strive. The difficulty arises from the fact that the fight against passions in our time is very difficult due to the extreme passion of modern people.
We are especially strongly bound by voluptuousness, and in it – by various prodigal sins, stimulated by the eroticism and sexuality of the world in which we live, in particular, by its “culture”. What should a current ascetic do in this situation?!
I repeat, without abandoning your ascetic experiences, despite their often seeming uselessness, try to redirect your lustful power of the soul from low, erotic disgusting things to high, divine objects. This is what the already mentioned Song of Songs teaches us, for example.
Yes, outwardly it is erotic poetry. But when Solomon says to his beloved: “Your two breasts are like the twins of a young roe grazing among the lilies” (Psn. 4:5), - we are not talking about the charms of a young maiden, but about the two breasts of the Church, the Old and New Testaments, through which She feeds the faithful with the milk of words. Thus, in the Holy Scriptures, love rises from erotic to divine!
Here is another example, a New Testament example:
“Behold, a woman of that city, who was a sinner, having learned that He was reclining in the house of a Pharisee, brought an alabaster flask of ointment and, standing behind His feet and weeping, began to wet His feet with tears and wipe them with the hair of her head, and kissed His feet. , and smeared it with myrrh. Seeing this, the Pharisee who invited Him said to himself: if He were a prophet, He would know who and what kind of woman was touching Him, for she was a sinner. Turning to him, Jesus said: Simon! I have something to tell you. He says: tell me, Teacher. Jesus said: A certain creditor had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty, but since they had nothing to pay, he forgave them both. Tell me, which of them will love him more? Simon answered: I think the one to whom he forgave more. He said to him: you judged correctly. And turning to the woman, he said to Simon: Do you see this woman? I came to your house, and you did not give me water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head; You did not give Me a kiss, but she, since I came, has not stopped kissing My feet; You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with ointment. Therefore, I tell you: her many sins are forgiven because she loved much, but he who is forgiven little loves little. He said to her: Your sins are forgiven. And those reclining with Him began to say to themselves: Who is this that even forgives sins? He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace” (Luke 7:37-50).
Outwardly, this is also an erotic scene, such can even sometimes be seen in modern erotica - a woman kisses a man’s feet... But in fact, for this sinner, the harlot, when she met Christ, her lustful power of soul rose from her usual fornication to the love of God. Why did the Lord say that “she loved much,” for the love of God is higher than any other love!
So we all, even to a much greater extent than that repentant harlot, are obsessed with unclean passions that steal our love for God. But we, like her, can correct, or rather, redirect this love of ours for God if we act the same way as she does.
And really, what’s stopping us?! All or almost all Orthodox Christians have icons of the Mother of God, where the Infant Christ sits in the arms of the Most Pure One. And let us pay attention: His pure feet are usually naked. This is so that we, no matter men or women, realizing that we are the same harlot as the one in the Gospel, however, even much worse than her, would fall at the most pure feet of the Savior, kissing them, if we can, with tears, and begging for ourselves forgiveness! Such a spiritual exercise, if done constantly, conveniently eradicates the sinful passions of a Christian, acquiring for him the love of God instead!
And the above is confirmed by the passage from the prayer (6th prayer of the Rule for Communion) of St. Simeon the New Theologian, where he, remembering that Gospel harlot, says:
“Those who have sinned more than the harlot, even though you knew where you were, having bought myrrh, I came boldly to anoint your nose, my God, my Lord and Christ. Just as you did not reject the one who came from your heart, abhor me below, the Word: Give yours to my nose, and hold and kiss, and boldly anoint this with streams of tears, as if with a valuable ointment.”
May God grant the same to us sinners!
Archpriest Georgy Gorodentsev
The original meaning of the word
The early meaning with which the Christian word “love” was filled is also of interest. When the New Testament was written, the word “love” was used in many different ways. These are “storge”, “phileo”, “eros” and “agape”. These words were designations for four types of love. The word "eros" was translated as "physical love." “Storge” means the love of parents for children or love between relatives. "Phileo" was used to denote tender feelings between a young man and a girl. But the only Christian word for love was “agape.” It is used to describe God's love. This love that has no boundaries, which is capable of sacrificing itself for the sake of the person it values.
Traits of true love
According to its main features, Christian love is sacrificial, active selfless .
Four verbs exist in the Greek language to capture the different aspects of the feeling of love in a word: Στοργη (torgi), έ̉ρος (eros)
,
φιλία (philia)
,
αγάπη (agapi)
.
Philia (φιλία) - friendly love, eros (ἔρως) - aspirational love (usually understood only as sensual love); storgi (στοργή) - love within the family, clan, friends, loved ones; agapi (ἀγάπη) - spiritual love, love-respect, good attitude (this is the word that was chosen by the Savior to fill it with a new meaning of spiritual love).
S. Averintsev (from the article “Love”): “The developed terminology of various types of love existed in the ancient Greek language. Eros is spontaneous and passionate self-giving, enthusiastic love, aimed at the carnal or spiritual, but always looking at its object “from the bottom up” and leaving no room for pity or condescension. Philia is love-friendship, love-affection of an individual for an individual, conditioned by social connections and personal choice. Storge is love-tenderness, especially family love. Agape is sacrificial and condescending love “for one’s neighbor.”
God's love for man
If a person loves sincerely, he cannot be hurt or belittled by the fact that he is not reciprocated. After all, he doesn’t love in order to get something in return. This love is incomparably higher than other types.
The Lord loved people so much that He sacrificed Himself. It was love that prompted Christ to give his life for people. Christian love for one's neighbor is expressed in being ready to give one's life for one's brothers and sisters. If a person loves his neighbors, but does not receive reciprocity, this cannot hurt or offend him. Their response does not matter at all, and it is not capable of extinguishing agape love. The meaning of Christian love is self-sacrifice, renunciation of one’s interests. Agape is a powerful force that manifests itself in action. This is not an empty feeling that is expressed only in words.
Does Divine love imply forgiveness?
As the Infinite One, God has the fullness of boundless perfections (see for more details: What is Divine infinity and what are its main features?). In this sense, He is called the All-Perfect. Love is one of His perfections, one of the Divine properties (1 John 4:8).
The boundless love of God is poured out on all of His creation, including people. Both in relation to the world and in relation to man, this property manifests itself in the sending of blessings, revealing itself in all the works of His Providence. Divine love was manifested in a special way in the matter of man’s salvation (John 3:16).
God's all-forgiveness expressed towards people corresponds to His plan for Salvation. We can say that forgiveness is one of the aspects of the manifestation of Divine goodness and love.
Unfortunately, both in previous and in modern times, false opinions were formed around the idea of Divine forgiveness, the essence of which, briefly speaking, boils down to the following: since God is Good, Humane-loving, Merciful, He will certainly deliver all believers (and even all people in general) from eternal hellish torment, regardless of how they spend their earthly life.
Some thinkers believed that the deliverance of sinners from eternal torment would occur after their purification by the action of Gehenna fire, and some denied even this, arguing that God would simply accept and forgive all people, grant everyone eternal happiness and eternal blissful peace.
This position is based on a misunderstanding of the meaning of Divine forgiveness. God's forgiveness is associated with the highest wisdom (if it came down to the unconditional release of all people from responsibility for sins, it would be akin to connivance).
Out of love for man and out of His very kindness, God, of course, wishes the best for everyone. This is why He created His Church, endowing it with special grace-filled means so that people could ascend into the Kingdom of God.
However, in order to live in the Kingdom of Heaven, a person must be internally prepared for this. Willingness implies nothing more than a special state of mind, a desire to live in love with God and neighbors, and an unwillingness to live in sin.
If a sinner does not want to be freed from sins, passions and vices, does not strive to live a righteous life, does not listen to God, is at enmity with his neighbors, then what should he do in the Kingdom of Saints? After all, life in this Kingdom implies exactly the opposite.
According to the thoughts of the holy fathers of the Church, at the Last Judgment sinners, burning with remorse, disgrace and shame, will themselves strive to hide from the Divine light, from the faces of the saints shining with grace (see more: Will everyone be saved?).
The sentencing of lawless people to eternal stay in hell will not be an externally (legally) imposed punishment, but will be fully consistent with their internal moral state and attitude.
This will also reveal God’s goodness, love, and mercy. Strange as it may seem, but according to the fathers, although unrepentant sinners will have to suffer in hell, if they were not in hell, but in Paradise, their suffering would be much more painful.
Difference from romantic love
The highest love that comes from God is not at all a romantic experience or falling in love. Moreover, we are not talking about sexual desire. In the true sense, the word love can only be called Christian love. She is a reflection of the divine in people. At the same time, the holy fathers also write that romantic feeling, just like sexual desire, is not alien to human nature. After all, initially the Lord created man as one. But the Fall led to the fact that human nature underwent distortion and perversion. And once upon a time, a single nature fell apart into separately acting components - the mind, heart and body.
Some Christian scholars suggest that, until that time, Christian love, romantic love, and the realm of physical intimacy were all features of the same love. However, in order to describe a person damaged by sin, it is necessary to separate these terms. In a Christian marriage, there is God's harmony - it contains the spiritual, the emotional, and the physical.
What is human love like?
Therefore, we are called to love God. This most desiring power of the soul is given to us for this purpose, so that in it we can unite with God through love. And this is called the love of God, the highest that an Orthodox Christian can demonstrate.
What do we spend this power of love given to us on? On passions, sometimes very base ones. After all, all three basic passions: voluptuousness; love of money; love of fame - their second root is this very “love”, i.e. our love. Which was stolen from God and given to low, and sometimes very low and disgusting passions!
Let us compare this with how true Christians demonstrated the love of God: martyrs in persecution, suffering for Christ, sealing this love with their martyrdom! And the reverend fathers, for the sake of Christ, for the sake of love for Him, endured many sorrows in deserts, dens of the earth; endured for many years and even decades!
Commandments about love
After all, the highest commandment of God’s law is this:
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind: this is the first and greatest commandment; the second is similar to it: love your neighbor as yourself; on these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets” (Matthew 22: 37-40).
However, from this second commandment it follows that, along with the love of God, there are other, quite high and worthy ways to use our lustful power of the soul.
To your neighbors, to your homeland, to life...
The second commandment of God (“love your neighbor as yourself”) precisely establishes the connection between the love of God and love for your neighbor or people. At the same time, on the one hand, natural love is taken into account here, which is why it is said “love your neighbor .” And those closest to a person are his family, children, Motherland: it is to them, driven by love, that a person should first of all serve. But on the other hand, God’s love refracts this natural love in a special way, just as a precious stone refracts natural sunlight.
So, of course, it is natural for a real mother to love her children, protecting them in every possible way from a variety of dangers, especially those threatening the life of the child. But how many such mothers of martyrs were there who themselves gave up their children, sometimes still very young, to suffer and die for Christ?!
And at the same time, although by their maternal nature they grieved, seeing the suffering and death of their children, they rejoiced in spirit that they became mothers of martyrs, repeating the words of the prophet: “ Behold, I and the children whom God has given me” (Is. 8: 18). And they themselves became martyrs, without even receiving wounds from their persecutors, but only for the sake of their natural maternal grief. Let us at least remember the martyrs Vera, Nadezhda, Love and their wise mother Sophia!
And Christian patriotism, Christian love for the Motherland - how many Orthodox Russian people it has forced and is forcing, despising the natural love of life and fear of death, to lay down their souls for the Motherland, for their loved ones, for their friends! For, as the Lord commanded:
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).
Between man and woman
Special and separate mention must be made of natural love between a man and a woman. For this rather lofty feeling is incredibly polluted by the current monstrously corrupted, so to speak, “culture.” Which reduces all this love to one sexual relationship, calling such an extremely limited, very “cut-off” concept of love - sex. Which to an incredible extent filled this entire culture of theirs, simultaneously destroying it.
Let's consider, for example, how this happened in Western European culture, in particular, their drama and, accordingly, cinema. At the beginning, this high feeling was represented there by the love of God, glorified in various spiritual mysteries. Then she descends to the ideal (not yet carnal) love of a knight in the beautiful lady of his heart. As Cervantes rather comically depicted in the relationship between Don Quixote and Dulcinea of Toboso.
Time passes and Shakespeare already has his worldwide standard of lovers - Romeo and Juliet are by no means averse to carnal relationships. But it should be noted that they do not enter into them before marriage. And only after becoming legal spouses, married by a Catholic priest, do they end up in bed.
The nineteenth century gave a new impetus to this matter, associated with French amorous romance. In which the wife and legal marriage, as a rule, are not interesting. Interesting relationships on the side; lovers and mistresses; adulterers and cheaters. All this is reflected in dramaturgy.
Twentieth century - cinema appears and cinematography develops. In which for quite a long time nudity was exotic. Even before the 60s of the last century, when the director wanted to show the love between a man and a woman, he turned off the lights, first bringing his heroes (usually in their underwear) to bed, and in the morning they woke up there up to their necks with a blanket.
But somewhere since the 70s of the last century, the situation has changed dramatically. Cinema that simulates love has become erotic, constantly depicting not only nudity, but also simulated sexual acts. These films entered Soviet film distribution ten years later, already in the 80s, during “perestroika,” initially causing a colossal stir among the Soviet audience, who was inexperienced in such Western erotic equivocations.
I remember in the mid-eighties, in all large, medium and small cinemas of the USSR, the Japanese film “The Legend of Narayama” was shown, replete with similar erotic scenes. Soviet film critics chattered something about the “deep spiritual meaning” of this film, about the “special merits of its talented director” Shohei Imamura... But people flocked to this movie only for the sake of these very, hitherto unprecedented erotic scenes.
And it seems that since then all our narrow-minded post-Soviet scriptwriters and directors who play love have been stuck in this mid-eighties. Still thinking that the post-Soviet audience continues to appreciate erotica just as it did at that time. Therefore, they only think about which next actress to undress or in which new position to depict the sex of their hero-lovers.
Not to mention the fact that the Russian people were tired of all this a long time ago; in the West, unlike our narrow-minded people, they also long ago realized what, relatively speaking, “turd” they got into with their eroticism. The fact is that along with it, pornography is actively developing there, and here too. And why should a depraved viewer watch how erotic actors fidget on each other, depicting lustful passion, when he can see real sexual acts in detail and from all angles, not to mention the same real images of all sorts of perversions that abound in porn?!
Which thus kills eroticism. Western civilization was the last to lower its love below the plinth, which killed it, actually replacing it with pornography, which, however, as we know, is not art. All the latest “masterpieces” of Western erotic cinema are attempts to solve this problem, attempts by erotica to surpass pornography, attempts that are fundamentally unsuccessful.
You can guess what the Western “creators” will eventually come to, but I think this will not be a way out of the deadlock, but an even bigger deadlock. Since the solution to this problem is impossible within the framework of the Procrustean-erotic-pornographic, in every sense, bed of Western European civilization.
It is possible only after a return to the values of the Orthodox Christian culture of Rus' - the Third Rome. One of these values is the establishment of harmonious relationships between a man and a woman, true love between them.
And here it is impossible to ignore the biblical Book of Song of Solomon. It seemed and still seems to many that this Song is an example of oriental erotic poetry. But the Church conciliarly (at the Fifth Ecumenical Council) condemned such an opinion in the person of the heretic Theodore of Mopsuet. Having pointed out that this biblical Book depicts the love of Christ and His Church; but is depicted under the image of love between a man and a woman.
Therefore, it is obvious that if the last love was taken as such an exalted image, then it is worth a lot! And reduce it only to sexual relations, i.e. to sex, as modern “culture” strives to do, is absolutely unfounded.
A person, both a man and a woman, is not only a body suitable for sexual pleasures, but a soul and spirit that not only generates true love, but also needs it. A person needs to be loved first of all by his spiritual and spiritual inclinations, and a beautiful body is only, so to speak, an additional bonus in this spiritual relationship that generates love and bathes in it.
Agape in the family
Christian love allows you to cultivate real responsibility, as well as a sense of duty. Only with these qualities is it possible to overcome many difficulties in relationships between people. The family is an environment in which personality can fully manifest itself, both in a positive and negative sense. Therefore, Christian love as the basis of family life is not just a feeling for an illusory person, whose image is created even before marriage by the imagination or by the partner himself (using all sorts of acting talents).
The highest feeling, agape love, allows you to accept another in his true form. The family is an organism in which those individuals who were initially alien to each other must ultimately become a single whole. Love in the Christian understanding is inherently opposite to the popular belief about the existence of “soul mates.” On the contrary, in a Christian marriage, people are not afraid to face their own shortcomings and forgive the shortcomings of the other. Ultimately this leads to true understanding.
Christ called to love your neighbor and yourself - this is the greatest commandment and the essence of Christianity
We have decided on the source of love. Now about how to manage it. The greatest commandment of Jesus Christ is:
(John 13:34)
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, so you also love one another.”
A neighbor is any person who happens to be nearby.
It's important to consider a couple of points here. Firstly, love for one's neighbor is love for all those who are nearby. The Savior clearly speaks about this in the parable of the Good Samaritan. Secondly, there is an important point: a person who is in love directs this feeling to himself. That is, love must be balanced. If this is not the case, two unpleasant consequences occur:
- Compliance . If we love our neighbors, but do not love ourselves.
- Selfishness . If we love ourselves, but do not love our neighbors.
In the Christian understanding, love is an absolute feeling. God in man must fully manifest his feelings, and He loves every creature, and not selectively.
Those who said that it is easier to love God or all of humanity as a whole than your neighbor were rightly noted. Abstract representation does not offend us, does not demand attention, does not act capriciously. Therefore, there is a certain feat in love. But He is strong enough for each of us. There is a phrase: “The Lord endured and commanded us.” It can be reinterpreted: “God loved us, and commanded it to you.”
They say that saints see God in man, and therefore treat everything with love. Perhaps this image of the Almighty in each of us will help someone to show love for others. At a minimum, it is said that we are all created in the image of God, which means that His qualities are not alien to us.
An ordinary feat of family life
The sacrament in which God Himself blesses a man and a woman is usually called a wedding. It should be noted that the words “wedding” and “crown” are the same root. But in this case, what kind of crowns are we talking about? The Holy Fathers emphasize: about the crowns of martyrdom. The Lord’s demands regarding family responsibilities (for example, the ban on divorce) seemed so difficult to the apostles that some of them exclaimed in their hearts: if a person’s responsibilities towards his wife are so strict, then it is better not to get married at all. However, Christian experience shows that it is not simple things that can bring true joy, but those that are worth working for.
Patristic teaching on love in Christianity
According to this teaching, the human soul has three main forces or actions: irritable, also called will; smart or clever; and lustful, which is also called feeling. It is this last power that gives birth to love.
At the same time, the holy fathers note that this power itself or the love generated by it is not high or low. It can vary in its strength, for just as there are people who are more and less intelligent, with a strong will and those who are weak-willed, so there are those who can love stronger or weaker.
But what makes this force high or low is not the force itself, but the objects to which it is directed. The higher this object, the higher the love; and the lower he is, the lower the love that is directed towards him. Therefore, in any case, theologically the Russian language turns out to be more correct, calling extremely heterogeneous concepts with the same word “love”. Yes, indeed, this is one and the same love (the lustful power of the soul), aimed at different, sometimes completely dissimilar concepts.
Since God is above all, He is the Most High, then the love of God is above all other love.
Temporality of worldly feeling
Ordinary worldly love is extremely transitory. As soon as a person deviates from the ideal that was created in his head before marriage or even the beginning of a relationship, this love will turn into hatred and contempt. This feeling is of a carnal, human nature. It is fleeting and can quickly turn into its opposite. Often in recent decades people have separated because they “didn’t get along.” Behind these seemingly ordinary words lies an elementary inability to solve the difficulties that inevitably arise in any relationship. In fact, worldly people do not know how to forgive, sacrifice, or talk to another person. Love is a Christian virtue that requires all this from a person. And in practice it can be extremely difficult to forgive or sacrifice anything.
Christian love is a strong, sublime feeling
Christian love has never limited the expression of human feelings. Yes, in church we see saints with serious faces, but we must understand that this is only the law of the genre. Let us remember that Christ did not avoid festivities and was certainly a sociable, open person.
Love is never without emotions, and love for God is, without a doubt, the most powerful emotional experience available to a living being.
Everything we do in our lives can be done for His glory, with His participation. If you let Divine love pass through you, it is not their character that changes, but their motive. And it definitely brings happiness and peace to the soul.
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Biblical Examples
The human mind, which is essentially dispassionate, is opposed to the heart. All kinds of passions are predominantly boiling in him (not only in the sense of sin, but also in the form of emotions, violent feelings). Romantic love is the area that touches the heart. And this God-given feeling turned out to be subject to all sorts of distortions. In the Bible, for example, the feeling between Zechariah and Elizabeth is filled with sincerity and selflessness. They can be an example of Christian love. The relationship between Samson and Delilah is saturated with deceit and manipulation. The second option has been very common lately. Many people are feeling deeply unhappy right now. They cannot arrange their personal lives or at least build any lasting relationships. At the same time, they fall in love endlessly, but their condition is akin to a disease.
Love between a man and a woman is also a bright Christian feeling
Romantic feelings among religious fanatics are usually belittled and considered unworthy of true spirituality. This is strange, considering that Orthodoxy itself conducts the Sacrament of Marriage. The enemies of Christianity may rejoice in the lies they spread, but the very first chapters of the Bible refute their error. After all, God created Adam and Eve, God called on Noah to take a pair of each creature.
And here is what the Sacred Right says:
(Eph. 5:25)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her.”
If one person loves another with all his soul, then this is the same manifestation of the Divine, which in no way runs counter to Orthodox teaching. It’s just that in the hierarchy of Christian values, love for God comes first, then love for one’s neighbor (including relatives), and then romance. But at the same time, a spouse is a neighbor, it’s just not always appropriate and it’s necessary to develop Christian friendships in the family. But this is already a matter of relationships.
3 kind
love can be distinguished: to God, to neighbor, to beloved
There is no prohibition on intimate life or admiring the beauty of your spouse. All this is welcomed by the Holy Scriptures:
(Song of Songs 7:2–8)
“Oh, how beautiful are your feet in sandals, eminent daughter! The rounding of your hips, like a necklace, is the work of a skilled artist; your belly is a round cup in which the fragrant wine does not run dry; your belly is a heap of wheat, surrounded by lilies; Your two breasts are like two kids of goats, the twins of a chamois; your neck is like a pillar of ivory; your eyes are the lakes of Heshbon, which are at the gates of Bathrabbim; your nose is the Tower of Lebanon, facing Damascus; your head is like Carmel, and the hair of your head is like purple; the king is fascinated by your curls. How beautiful you are, how attractive, beloved, with your cuteness! This figure of yours is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like clusters of grapes.”
The main thing is to set your priorities correctly. The love of God should be at the center of the family, and all actions should be out of love, as the Bible teaches.
Foundation of Christianity
Love is the foundation of the Christian life. The daily life of every follower of Christ is filled with this great gift. The Apostle John the Theologian writes about Christian love:
Beloved! let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love has not known God, because God is love. God's love for us was revealed in the fact that God sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we could receive life through Him. This is love, that we did not love God, but He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
This kind of love is a gift of the Holy Spirit. This is the gift without which neither Christian life nor faith is possible. Divine love makes it possible to create the Church as a single existence of human souls in the image of the Indivisible Trinity. The Church, the holy fathers write, is an image of the Trinity. The gift of the Lord's love allows us to create the inner side of the Church as the mystical Body of Christ. A lot has been said about Christian love. To summarize, we can say: it is the basis of the life of not only a Christian. As a spiritual essence, love is also the life soul of all things. Without love the mind is dead and even righteousness is feared. True Christian righteousness lies in mercy. Compassion, mercy and true love permeate all the deeds of Christ, from His Incarnation to Death on the Cross.
Love true and false
Every person has the characteristic desire not to isolate himself, to seek and find something living and common with other people. The soul begins to yearn if there is no one nearby with whom to share. And at the same time, how difficult it is to find someone who would understand you in everything to the depths of your soul, would keep all your secrets, and would not hide anything from you. That's why every person wants to have a friend. And not just a friend.
Who can tell where this amazing feeling comes from, suddenly seizing the soul, striking the heart, forcing you to look at a person of the opposite sex in a completely special way, not as usual? It happens to everyone. We all fall in love sooner or later. This is the nature of man created by God - the power of love is embedded in it, which is like a magnet - it makes us strive for each other in search of deep unity in both soul and body.
But what is love?
We must admit that the human soul is corrupted. The environment of the world around us will fully provide pitiful images, “standards” for the implementation of this, pure according to Divine purpose, feeling of the soul. Where do we find examples of “love”? In multi-episode television films, where the main characters sort out their relationships with their “lovers” from episode to episode, changing them like gloves, instilling in TV viewers the idea of the normality of constant divorces? Or, perhaps, in the real practice of free marriages, where testing each other takes place on a common bed without any mutual responsibilities? Sinful passion is evil. We understand too much to the extent of our depravity. And what is given from God for good and life, we too often see through the prism of an unclean heart. Broken destinies, divorces, abortions - everything exposes the loss of love, its absence, ignorance of what true love is.
It often happens that somewhere a young man sees for the first time such a girl, whose facial features and figures suddenly penetrate his still inexperienced heart with a warm feeling. The image of what is seen is imprinted in the mind for a long time. The imagination is forcibly drawn to dreams. An ardent feeling is capable of moving a young man to knightly deeds, capable of making a hero out of him. But there is a question to ponder: why does it happen that a person who at first seemed the most beautiful in the world, during personal, closer communication, suddenly loses his beauty; on the contrary, often a person who is plain in appearance, but as we communicate and get to know his soul, appears more and more beautiful?
True love is not passion!
How many people have stumbled, inflicted a deep wound on their hearts, being seduced by the external, physical beauty, behavior, or “image” of a person. Having hastened to determine their marriage fate, many were then disappointed in the choice and suddenly discovered a lack of real beauty in their spouse. The beauty of the face disappeared, became familiar, boring, and instead there was an internal misunderstanding of each other. It is extremely dangerous to trust your too hot, ardent, crazy feeling for another, because a fire that flares up brightly will quickly go out. Ardent love, excited by physical beauty and external manners, is like a sparkler that attracts the eye with bright sparks; it soon goes out, leaving only smoke.
True love loves the soul!
Years will pass, bodily beauty will begin to fade, and over time, carnal desire will fade away. But if the relationship of loved ones was based on it, then with the cessation of passion, love will cease. True love is addressed to the soul, it is all in the deepest understanding of each other’s souls, and that means in mutual fidelity, in the complete acceptance of the sorrows and joys of the loved one, as one’s own personal sorrows and joys. True love is a completely objective feeling that everything that is in this person is truly “yours”, it is something very dear and close to your heart. And communication with this person is simple, natural, without internal constraint, without unnecessary words. Because there is some kind of kinship, closeness, intimacy of two souls who sincerely asked for God’s blessing in the Church. Their closeness is not in carnal heat, not at all, but in mutual warmth, in the constant warming of each other’s souls. Through this warmth, through the vision of the soul of another, his body is also beautiful, but...
True love is alien to insolence!
She reveres the chastity of her beloved, sees a shrine in him and preserves it, and will not allow herself to corrupt the purity of her beloved. Fornication is incompatible with true love. In fact, whoever truly loves will not even entertain the thought of carnal passion with another. So, everyone can check himself: does love warm his heart or inflame his sinful flesh? The desire to possess another person, the desire to satiate oneself with his beauty and virginity does not show love, but secret pride. A proud person seeks satisfaction only for himself, his low, earthly feelings. He longs to satiate his criminal passion with the person he likes, but as soon as he is satisfied, he instantly grows cold and turns away from his supposedly loved one.
True love is sacrifice!
She is all about attention to others. One of the ancient saints noted that although there are many more celestial beings than those living on earth, in heaven everyone has one will, and on earth everyone has their own. So love creates one out of two wills, inspiring each to give his own for the sake of the other. Here, sacrificing oneself does not mean infringing oneself, because for those who love, sacrifice is voluntary. A mother is close to her children, friends are close to each other, but the closeness of lovers is much deeper: they are one soul, their sorrows and joys are so mutual that the word of Scripture is really realized here: “A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife; and the two will become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:5-6).
True love is a calm, even, quiet feeling. It is peaceful and brings peace. Here a person is not torn by thoughts of jealousy, does not constantly guard his “beloved,” being wary of possible rivals and directing all his anger at them. True love is faithful and believes. She does not shackle her loved one, does not enslave her with prohibitions to communicate with anyone. Because true love is free, it loves voluntarily, longs for reciprocal voluntary love and believes in the sincerity of the beloved.
But... let's admit, not everything is as smooth and smooth as everyone would like. After all, what is our life? - Unpredictability. And on the path of communication between two people who love each other, certain stages of mutual knowledge pass through. It happens that at first everyone is determined to see in the other the ideal of beauty and all perfections, but as real communication progresses, they are faced with the character traits and weaknesses of their loved one. And then, perhaps, not only disappointment will come, no, love will not allow this, but some disappointments are possible when you see that your loved one is not in everything the way you would like to see him. This is not something to be afraid of.
First of all, ask yourself the question of how much you yourself correspond to the ideal, your requests for another person. Open your eyes to your imperfection, to your own weakness, and from here understand and sympathize with the weaknesses of others!
In fact, when both lovers overcome the far-fetched stereotypes of the other person’s image, when all misunderstandings are resolved in the spirit of Christian love and sacrifice, then the real image of the beloved will appear much more beautiful, much better than the fictional one.
Don't make an idol out of a person!
And when the mind takes measurements of another person according to the whims of one’s corrupted nature, then it turns out that the loved one in reality reflects all the ideals, corresponds to all the innermost desires. Reality is higher than fiction, purer, better than dreams. And seeing the ideal, or better yet, the image of God in another person, is possible only with the purity of one’s own heart. Because another person is as beautiful in front of us as we ourselves treat him with kindness and love. Thus, one domestic writer noted: we love people for the good we do to them; and we hate them for the evil we do to them.
Love a person for who he really is! Accept and understand it. Be a Christian, sacrifice yourself! If a person is loved for something, it is imperfect love. True love accepts a person as he is in reality, regardless of his merits and merits, regardless of his shortcomings. That is why love is incompatible with pride, because pure, sincere love embraces one’s neighbor, no matter what he may be. And false love - pride - is happy only with those who please it, who flatter and curry favor with its self-conceit. He who thinks of himself as the owner of great virtues will never understand his neighbor, will never feel the sorrow of the person standing next to him, will not rejoice at his joy, much less will he condescend to his shortcomings. Because true love is compassion and joy, and this is only possible in Christianity. And if even a drop of envy appears in our hearts at the successes of our neighbor, at least a little harshness at his needs, or irritation at the sight of his weaknesses, it means that we are alien to love.
The path to true love runs through internal work on oneself, through the eradication of sinful passions, which all come down to selfishness and the desire for sensual pleasures. It is not our neighbor who needs to be changed in order for him to become loved, but we need to transform ourselves. And true love is completely achievable. She is a gift of God, which is given to those who are able to accept it, and is taken away when we do not keep what is given. But who is able to accept this gift, who will keep it? Only those who are faithful to the Source of love—God—keep His commandments and beware of everything displeasing to Him. The heart of a person who does not love God will not accept the person He created. Only a Christian is able to accommodate his neighbor in his own heart.
Why is there mistrust, insincerity, and isolation of everyone from everyone else in the world? Why do we often experience internal constraint when communicating with others? A person withdraws into himself and cannot open his heart to another. He is closed because there is no one who will understand his soul, and because his open soul is often spat on and trampled upon, as happened with the heart of the loving Danko. We are alone in the world, often either embittered or on the verge of some kind of internal abyss of abandonment, we feel the lack of the most necessary support in life. And love for another person, which the Lord put into our nature, and which can shine only in a Christian heart, leads us out of a state of inner constraint. Whose heart is touched by love cannot be closed. The heart of a lover aches for another, and this pain will melt the coldness of insensibility and give inspiration for something completely new in life. Love renews and teaches a person to really live, because true life is not for oneself, but for the sake of each other.
Love reveals to us the significance of our neighbor, his greatest value and importance to us. It gradually raises the heart to accept and fulfill the commandments of Christ, which are all in self-sacrifice, in the unity of church life. And may God grant everyone to follow this path, keeping in their souls the treasure of love, the first manifestation of which is towards the one who is closest to you.
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Mercy
Love as the basis of morality in Christian ethics is the driving force that governs all human actions. A follower of Christ is guided in his actions by mercy and morality. His actions are dictated by a higher feeling, and therefore they cannot contradict the biblical canons of morality. Gracious love makes people partakers of God's love. If ordinary feeling is addressed only to those who evoke sympathy, then God’s love allows us to be merciful towards unbearable people. Every person needs this feeling. However, not everyone is able or willing to take it.
The Holy Father of the Church John Chrysostom taught that there is no anger or malice in love
Divine love can attack, but in no case punish. This does not fit well with the Old Testament stories about a jealous and vengeful God. For many Christians, especially Gnostics, this is a convenient reason to spur orthodox Catholics and Orthodox Christians.
But the holy father of the church, John Chrysostom, reasoned that the whole problem is that we project human emotions onto God.
“When you hear the words “rage” and “anger” in relation to God, do not understand anything human by them: these are words of condescension. The Divine is alien to all such things; It is said this way in order to bring the subject closer to the understanding of cruder people.”
From the point of view of John Chrysostom, God loved us as we are. And God’s love for man does not fade away, does not turn into anger. And the terrible events of the Old Testament are not God’s punishment, but a consequence of man’s violation of the laws of our world. If a person sticks his fingers into a socket, it is not the electrician who made it that is to blame, but the one who misused it.
Integrity of the phenomenon
Mercy in itself does not cancel out other natural types of love. They can even bear good fruit - but only if they are based on the foundation of Christian love. Any manifestation of ordinary feeling, in which there is no sin, can turn into a manifestation of a gift or need. As for mercy, it is the most secret work. A person should not intentionally notice and emphasize it. The Holy Fathers say: it is good when a parent begins to play with a child who has previously disobeyed. This will show the child that he has been forgiven. But true mercy allows you to tune the soul in such a way that a person voluntarily wants to start the game.
It is necessary to develop in oneself mercy, which is characterized by need. After all, every person necessarily has an unbearably disgusting trait. And if a person gets the impression that it is possible to live on earth without Christian love, which is mercy, then this means that he has not yet joined the Christian way of life.
The domestic theologian K. Silchenkov examined in detail the basic commandment of Christianity. It can be considered as one of the universal ethical models. Christ gave people a new commandment, and also explained its novelty, showing His disciples an example of true love. It is this highest example that speaks not only about the commandment as such, but also about the moral ideal.
Love, according to the teaching of the Apostle Paul, is a union of perfection. It represents the main virtue and is also an indicator of belonging to the followers of Christ. Violation of the law of love is the outbreak of war, quarrels and conflicts, insincerity.
Works of love in Orthodoxy
The Apostle Paul said very well about them in his hymn of love:
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, then I am a ringing gossamer or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries, and have all knowledge and all faith, so that I could move mountains, but do not have love, then I am nothing. And if I give away all my property and give my body to be burned, but do not have love, it does me no good. Love is patient, merciful, love does not envy, love is not arrogant, is not proud, is not rude, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails, although prophecy will cease, and tongues will be silent, and knowledge will be abolished” (1 Cor. 13:1-8).
And indeed, all works of Christian charity are performed for the sake of the love of Christ. She moved and moves the martyrs to suffer for Christ, and the saints to exploits for his sake. She is the pinnacle of all virtues, for they are all crowned by her. And what else can be said about love if the apostle of tongues spoke so magnificently about it?!
Where does agape begin?
In mutual love, Christians received from their Teacher a sign of belonging to the new Kingdom. It cannot be touched by hands, but it loudly appeals to the inner feeling. At the same time, Christian love for each other is only the first and necessary condition for love for all people.
From mutual love for each other, Christians should draw strength for mercy towards other people, in the outside world, where love is already a more complex and unusual matter.
Like any feeling in a person, Christian love for its comprehensive development requires appropriate favorable conditions, a special environment. A society of the faithful, in which relationships are built on love, is such an environment. Being in such a life-giving environment, a person gets the opportunity not to be limited by brotherly love. He learns to give it to everyone to whom it can relate - this is exactly what Christian love is. This topic is very broad and multifaceted. But “agape” begins precisely with everyday life, with the most ordinary manifestations of mercy.
Love is smart
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To love with reason means to realize that the object of love is exactly what a person needs. Let the heart have freedom, the soul have other attachments, but the mind prompts: “Be here, this is what you need.” It is with this kind of love that new church Christians begin their journey. They understand that everything that is called love outside the Church, not according to the commandments of the Savior, hardly has anything to do with the salvation of the soul, the feeling of righteousness and the meaning of life.
And, not yet having enough space in their souls for God, remaining busy at work, in the family, such people are already taking the first step towards comprehending God as the only object that is worthy of true, holistic love. It's not as bad as it seems - to start loving for convenience. If you don’t stop at this stage, but develop, improving yourself and coming to an understanding of spiritual and then heartfelt love, then this is a wonderful path. And a wonderful way to “shake off the dust from your feet,” that is, to abandon the dirt that has stuck to the soul in worldly life, to engage in cleansing and communion with God.
Philosophical studies
Max Scheler examined in detail the concept of supreme divine love, in contrast to the idea of it in various ideological systems developed by the beginning of the 20th century. As for Christian love, it is distinguished by activity. It begins at the point where the demands for restoration of justice at the level of current legislation end. Many modern thinkers share the view that complacency becomes redundant as more and more legitimate demands arise.
However, this view goes against the beliefs of Christian morality. This is clearly illustrated by cases of transfer of care of the poor from the competence of the church to state structures. Such cases were also described by Scheler. Such actions are not associated with the idea of sacrifice or Christian compassion.
Such views ignore the fact that Christian love always turns to that part of a person that is directly connected with the spiritual, with participation in the Kingdom of Heaven. Such views led the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche to decide to identify the Christian idea of love with a completely different idea.
