Attendance at the funeral process requires guests and relatives of the deceased to observe church canons, historical traditions of a particular social community, as well as generally accepted rules of etiquette. Choosing wardrobe items for a funeral ceremony is the most important event, because the appearance of the relatives and friends of the deceased demonstrates their emotions and the degree of respect for the deceased. That is why, in order not to desecrate the bright memory of the deceased, as well as to avoid reproachful glances and gossip, the choice of clothes and shoes should be taken very seriously.
General recommendations
To show respect and respect for the deceased, it is important to choose the right clothing.
The main requirements for the dress code are modesty and restraint. According to ethical and moral standards, the outfit should be strict, but not too gloomy. It is recommended to adhere to a conservative style. Things need to be selected in dark shades, as they are considered the colors of sadness and sorrow. The vestment must be clean and ironed. What you should not wear to a funeral:
- — Revealing dresses of mini length or with bare shoulders;
- — Light transparent summer sundresses;
- — Patterned shirts;
- — Bright T-shirts and T-shirts, decorated with various rhinestones, beads, and provocative prints;
- — Slippers, sneakers, sneakers.
Mourning clothing in other cultures
Muslim mourning attire is very different from Christian mourning attire. Dark colors are not accepted in Islam; rather, on the contrary, people wear loose, closed clothes in bright colors to funerals. They generally try not to use dark shades. Men come bareheaded, women must hide their hair.
The traditions of the Jews are not very different from the Christian ones, the only rule is that women are required to come in black hats without flashy jewelry.
At Jewish funerals, women are required to wear a black hat.
In Buddhism, the color of mourning attire depends on how close you were to the deceased. Family members wear exclusively black, everyone else wears white, all clothing must be closed and formal. All those present tie a white ribbon on their heads.
Even Christian traditions differ slightly. Women living in Europe and the USA (i.e. Catholics and Protestants) prefer to wear not a scarf on their heads, as is customary here, but a veil that partially or completely covers their face.
Dress code for women
Attire should be modest and closed. It is inappropriate to wear provocative items to a funeral. It is better to collect your hair and avoid makeup. The use of bright lipsticks and shadows, large amounts of eyeliner and mascara is not allowed.
How a woman should dress for a funeral ceremony:
- — Elegant dress with long sleeves and hem (the straps can be covered with a jacket);
- — A skirt below the knee and a closed blouse;
- — Trousers and jacket;
- — Sweater with pants or a long skirt.
The main requirements for shoes are restraint and comfort. In any case, the toe is closed, so you will have to give up sandals. Bright and provocative over the knee boots, stiletto heels, and sporty styles are not welcome. The ideal solution is ordinary low-heeled pumps.
You are allowed to wear a simple dress without jewelry or additional decor. The optimal length is below the knees. In hot weather, sundresses made of cotton and linen are welcome, but transparent fabrics or mesh should not be used.
Rules for choosing clothes for women
The main rule when choosing a feminine outfit for ladies who are about to go to a funeral is appropriateness, modesty and the absence of any hint of sexuality in makeup, wardrobe and accessories. If the procedure involves a funeral service in church, women should not wear trousers; preference should be given to a maxi-length skirt.
At a secular funeral, trousers or even a trouser suit, on the contrary, would be appropriate. In any case, you should choose shoes with medium heels or even flat ones, since high heels are designed to emphasize the attractiveness of women's legs, which is absolutely unacceptable at a funeral.
It is not allowed to come to the funeral ceremony in sundresses, dresses or blouses with open shoulders. The best option would be a formal dress with medium-length sleeves in black or another dark shade.
If a woman has chosen a blouse and a skirt as an outfit, she can wear a tailored jacket or jacket on top. The presence of decorative elements on clothing is allowed if they are not flashy and are present in minimal quantities. At the same time, transparent inserts, shiny stripes, openwork, lace and sequins will be inappropriate in any case.
Casual jewelry of a discreet design is acceptable. It could be a watch, earrings or rings. Large bright accessories and massive jewelry at a funeral, on the contrary, are unacceptable.
In Catholic countries, it is customary to complement a woman’s outfit with a black mourning hat with a veil. There is no such tradition in Russia, but if a woman takes part in washing the deceased and other elements of the mourning ceremony, she must cover her head with a black scarf or headscarf.
As outerwear for a funeral in the cold season, it is recommended to choose a classic-style coat, a formal raincoat or a cardigan. Lush, floor-length fur coats and aggressive leather outfits are not allowed.
Violating the rules for choosing women's clothing for a funeral, using sexy outfits or flashy accessories can not only offend the relatives of the deceased, but will also demonstrate such a guest's disrespect for them.
The right option for a man
The optimal outfit for a man is a simple suit in black, grey, brown, blue, green. This is a solemn and modest attire that will not attract too much attention at a funeral. If a man takes an active part in the ceremony, then formal attire is required. For a home ceremony, small liberties are allowed.
Basic selection rules:
- — A tie without patterns or with a modest, appropriate pattern is allowed;
- — If the commemoration is held at home, then a combination of jeans without inscriptions or decoration, a simple sweater, jacket, and shoes is allowed;
- — Sweatshirts with short sleeves are not allowed;
- — Open and sports shoes cannot be used, so it is better to wear shoes (if you don’t have them, then use the most discreet sneakers);
- — The shirt is chosen in neutral colors without ornaments (blue, dark green, blue).
When strictness in clothing is not required
Despite the sad nature of a funeral, there are situations in which it is permissible to accompany a person on his last journey in bright outfits and not demonstrate feigned sadness and grief. We are talking about situations where the deceased was a creative person and led a bohemian lifestyle.
As a rule, such people are surrounded by acquaintances and friends who prefer to express themselves, including through clothing, and are not accustomed to complying with the traditions and requirements established by society or the church. If the deceased himself was a creative person, during his lifetime he could leave instructions regarding the funeral: for example, conduct it without observing all church rituals or allow guests not to observe the traditional dress code.
As you can see, some of the requirements for what to wear to a funeral are considered less strict today. But at all times, people valued relevance and sympathy. Clothing in dark colors, made in a classic style, and formal low-heeled shoes will help demonstrate them on the day of the funeral. Keep accessories to a minimum, avoid massive jewelry, and the dress code for a funeral can be considered complied with.
How to dress a child
Children are dressed up in the same way as adults. For boys, a classic suit, jeans and a sweater, trousers and a discreet shirt are suitable. Shoes are selected depending on the time of year, but no open sandals or flip-flops.
For girls, a dark dress, tights and closed shoes are suitable. You should not use things with bright prints, cartoon images, lots of bows or rhinestones. Hair is neatly styled. It is recommended to take a sweater or light jacket with you if it gets cold.
How to dress for a funeral
Since seeing off a person on his last journey is a tragic and critically sad event, the dress code in clothing must correspond to the mournful atmosphere of the event.
Strictness, conservatism and modesty are the key concepts that should guide you when choosing wardrobe items for a funeral ceremony.
Traditionally, relatives, colleagues and loved ones of the deceased wear black clothes for the burial ceremony. But in the form of an ultimatum, the rules of etiquette do not require this. For example, if a loved one died suddenly, relatives who are forced through tears to organize the burial and carry out numerous bureaucratic procedures may simply not have an absolutely black set of clothes. In this case, it is permissible to come to the funeral ceremony in modest clothes in dark colors, without all kinds of sparkles, jewelry and other decorative accessories.
An alternative to completely black outfits can be classic suits in dark tones of blue, brown, green or gray. But, in order not to attract unnecessary attention to your person, it is best to be careful - dress in black clothes. It is also recommended to avoid all kinds of jewelry, rhinestones and other decor. Bright, provocative outfits of primary colors, yellow, blue, red, are unacceptable at a funeral ceremony. This style of clothing shows disrespect for the deceased person and even desecrates his memory.
The principles for choosing wardrobe items for children who go to a funeral with adults are identical to the generally accepted rules for all guests of a funeral ceremony. Bows and frills will be inappropriate. For a girl, the ideal outfit would be a dark, simple-cut dress, and for a boy, black trousers, a dark shirt and a jacket.
Hairstyle and makeup of a woman at funeral events
Loose hair, as well as complex styling with a lot of cosmetics and volume are not suitable options for a funeral. Before going to the funeral service and churchyard, they make a ponytail, a bun, and for short hair, a simple hairstyle, it should look natural. Toning care products are prohibited. You should not appear with bright hair color. Makeup recommendations:
- it is best if the eyes and lips are not made up, firstly, many cannot contain their emotions at a funeral - they cry, and secondly, bright makeup, like accessories, makes a woman more noticeable among others, it is inappropriate to stand out in this way when saying goodbye to the deceased ;
- let's say natural makeup in pastel (restrained) tones; it should not be very noticeable when looking at a person.
Woman's mourning portrait
Mourning attire in world religions
In Russia, the theme of grief and funerals has always been associated with the color black. Therefore, the funeral attire, for example, adopted by the Hindus, looks rather strange and unusual: for the ritual burning ceremony they dress in a snow-white sari. For the people of India, the departure of a person to another world is a cause for great joy, since the deceased is finally freed from the earthly burdens of life and is now in a better world.
Eastern women wearing mourning wear purple and green robes. Buddhists wear gray robes for 100 days.
Representatives of the Jewish communities announce their grief by making a small cut in the heart area on their suit.
How pregnant women and girls are buried
Pregnant girls, as a rule, are buried together with the fetus, without separating them, since it is believed that a small person who has not yet been born is one with his mother. A light-colored, loose-fitting dress should be worn on the girl’s body.
Young girls should be buried modestly, wearing a simple dress in light colors. Along with this, in some places the old custom is observed for young girls - they continue to be dressed in wedding attire. They are prepared for the funeral, like a bride for a wedding ceremony. However, the dress for such a ritual is not taken from a fashion studio, it is sewn by home craftsmen. At the same time, nails are usually removed from the shoes in which the girl is planned to be buried. Hair is not tied up; a veil or veil is allowed over the head.
If the deceased is a young married woman, then it is necessary to remove the wedding ring from her finger, put on a new dress and cover her head. Silver jewelry should also be removed. In this case, personal belongings (for example, glasses) must be placed in a coffin made with soft upholstery. It is also necessary to put a pillow stuffed with grass or sawdust and a special blanket.
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Church canons contain special instructions regarding what Orthodox women should wear. What is needed for this? As a rule, this set includes:
- headscarf;
- light outfit;
- clean underwear;
- cotton stockings;
- slippers with backs.
These clothes should be comfortable . If the deceased expressed some special wishes during her lifetime, you can, for example, replace slippers with shoes or use a light-colored hat instead of a scarf. In this case, it is important to focus on the size of the shoes - they should be chosen one size larger than the one that the deceased woman wore during her lifetime.
If the dress that was put on the deceased has a belt, then it does not need to be tied; its ends should be placed on top of each other in a cross. The same must be done with a scarf or scarf.
Of course, the relatives independently choose what to dress the deceased in. But, according to burial traditions, it is necessary to use a white robe.
The deceased must be carried forward feet first, then chairs should be placed in the place where the coffin was located and sit down . After this, the chairs should be turned over and left in this form for a day. When saying goodbye, family and friends need to kiss the deceased on the forehead, and at the cemetery throw a handful of earth into the grave. Commemorations are also provided on the third, ninth and fortieth day, as well as six months and a year later.
- Funeral rules for 1 year after death;
- Here you can read the rules for holding a funeral service on the 40th day after death;
- Panakhida for the departed: https://bogolub.info/panixida-po-usopshim-tekst-kak-zakazat-v-cerkvi-ili-vo-vremya-posta/.
How do they dress the dead if they were military personnel?
What it is customary to bury males in usually differs little from their usual things. If the man was a soldier, then he is immersed in a coffin in a military uniform (ceremonial uniform). Those. this may be the same jacket that the person wore during his lifetime. No official permission from management is needed for this. All items are handed over to the morgue.
The uniform should be ironed, cleaned and holes sewn up if there are any. If the deceased had any awards, then all medals, ribbons and other insignia should be attached to the uniform. A cap must be placed on the dead man's head. It is necessary to refuse to dress the body in a uniform only if a person during his lifetime expressed a desire to be buried in an ordinary jacket. In all other cases, it is better to bury a person in his uniform.
The exceptions are contract soldiers and young people in the army. They often do not yet have any government awards, and military service is not yet their life’s work. Because of this, it is recommended that ordinary soldiers be immersed in the coffin in ordinary suits. But a loved one has the right to independently choose certain things.
Since females also perform military service, they can also be buried in uniform, but such issues can be resolved in advance. Those. women are often buried in civilian clothes (dress, skirt, beautiful jacket, etc.).
Question and answer
Where better to stand at the last farewell?
The first, that is, the places closest to the coffin, are usually occupied by relatives. It is preferable for acquaintances to stay a little further away.
How to prepare and, most importantly, not to forget a speech for a funeral meal?
In such cases, the speech is usually recorded and tried to be remembered. There is a separate article on the preparation of memorial speeches on our website.
How much time is allocated for a typical farewell in the ritual hall?
The most common option is 2-3 hours in the morning.
When it's hot
And of course, for many, the question of how to dress for a funeral in the summer is relevant. And it is not as simple as it might seem. The fact is that the black color, traditional for mourning, can cause some discomfort in the summer, since it perfectly absorbs solar energy and the person becomes unbearably hot.
Therefore, it is best to use light fabrics such as cotton, cambric, and silk. In such dark-colored outfits you can feel much less uncomfortable. But the dress should not be see-through and short. Shoes are ideal for feet, but open shoes are prohibited.
Naturally, men dressed in a formal suit in the summer will not feel very pleasant. In hot weather, you can take off your jacket, but the shirt should be dark in color. You can also pair dark cotton trousers with a shirt. Your feet should be wearing shoes or moccasins, but not sandals.
Lingerie and accessories
You must wear underwear, stockings or tights on your body. The church does not approve of modern underwear, and mortuary workers find it difficult to put it on bodies. A good solution for a funeral would be loose trousers in a light shade.
A married woman's head should be covered with a headscarf, headscarf or scarf. The outfit should be light in color. At funerals, blue and turquoise scarves are often used: against their background, the face looks less pale. For an elderly woman, it is advisable to choose a black scarf.
Only gold jewelry can be worn on the deceased. But the wedding ring should be removed and preserved for future generations. Hair is usually left down; it is not customary to do hairstyles for funerals. It is believed that there should be no knots on the clothes of the deceased: this will ease the ordeal of the soul in the next world.
After dressing, the body is covered to the waist with a shroud - this is a blanket with embroidered symbols. A handkerchief is often given to a deceased woman. This is another superstition: it is believed that a woman needs a scarf in the afterlife to wipe away her tears.
Is it possible to bury the dead in jeans?
Jeans are not formal wear. But a deceased person can be clothed in it, because... it is comfortable and familiar. Neither secular laws nor church rules directly prohibit putting jeans on the body of a dead person. Difficulties can arise only because the denim fabric has a too dense structure, and products made from it will be inconvenient to pull on a stiff body. If the deceased loved jeans during his lifetime and wanted to be buried in them, then his will must be fulfilled. However, it is better to purchase jeans several sizes larger so that you do not have problems putting them on. You can check the size matching list with the seller, explaining your situation.
