How to confess correctly, what to say to the priest (priest): a list of 350 example phrases for male and female confession

Confession is important for every true Christian believer. During it, a person, as they say, reveals his soul to the priest. He tells what sins he has committed, recognizes the harm caused to himself or others and expresses his readiness not to do it again. An important condition for the remission of sins will be the repentance of the believer. If a person has never been to confession before, then it would be useful for him to know what to say to a representative of the church during such a significant sacrament.

What should you say to the priest during confession?

There are no specific rules for talking with a priest. The main thing is to talk about your sins and express repentance. The latter is a key aspect of confession.

Confession should begin with the words: “Lord, I have sinned.” Then you need to voice your sins, for example: “I succumbed to envy, became angry and rude, spared money for my family, committed treason, constantly offend my parents and lie a lot.” At the end of confession you can say: “I repent before You, my God. Protect my soul, forgive my sins and have mercy on me, for I repent and ask for Your forgiveness.”

The average person who, one way or another, sins throughout his life can confess with the following words :

I constantly envy my neighbors. They have a lot of things that I don't have. They are not bad people and I have never quarreled with them. I don't think they earned their property through dishonest means. But I can’t help myself as soon as I see their new purchase in the form of a gadget, a car or an expensive fur coat. I repent of my envy and ask, father, give me advice on how to get rid of this vicious feeling!;
Father, in the past I was a bad person. I always thought about how to build a good career. He walked, as they say, over their heads. He could lie for the sake of benefit and praise from his superiors, frame another employee, exaggerate his contribution to the common cause, etc. He was not particularly interested in his family, he was indifferent to his children and wife. Now I’m trying to make amends by spending more time with them. But I understand that this will not allow me to erase my past actions and indifference. I have realized my sins and will no longer put work and money first in life.

What words to start confession with?

In order to confess, you need to come to church without delay, strictly at the appointed time. Before going to a holy place, you need to carefully consider your appearance. It is important to exclude provocative clothing, flashy accessories, and strong perfume. Women enter the temple only with their heads covered. On critical days you should refrain from confession.

Before you begin confession before the priest, you need to properly tune in internally. When approaching the sacrament, a Christian must turn to the Lord with deep reverence. At the beginning of confession, you must admit your sinfulness. Only after this should you proceed to listing your misdeeds. It is necessary to mention not only accomplished deeds, but also unseemly thoughts that contradict Christian concepts.

An example of how you can start confession in church:

“I confess, servant of God (servant of God) (name). During my life I have sinned before the Lord both in my actions and in my thoughts. My sins are countless (the following are listed as sins towards God, towards my neighbors and towards myself).

I sinned through weakness of faith, lack of patience, meekness, humility, due reverence for sacred things, non-compliance with church rules, rare attendance at services...

I sinned by judging my neighbors, gossip, empty talk, ridicule of the poor, unwillingness to help the weak, lies, slander...

I sinned with pride, arrogance, greed, thirst for personal enrichment, gluttony, fornication, jealousy, idle pastime..."

When confessing, it is necessary to omit the details of negative actions. It is important to convey the essence of what was done and call things by their proper names, without trying to find mitigating words or exculpatory expressions. If you find it difficult to clearly formulate your thoughts, the priest will definitely help by asking leading questions.

In order not to forget about any of the existing sins, it is recommended to write down the confessional text on a piece of paper in advance. This is definitely worth doing for those who are taking part in such a ritual for the first time.

On the issue of confessing to a crime

Confession involves admitting all sins . Even including actions that have legal consequences for the penitent.

According to the secret of confession, the main provisions of which are even enshrined in the law, the testimony of a priest in court will not be valid. Therefore, if a person has enough moral strength, he can confess even to the most terrible deeds .

However, this does not mean that the priest will treat the confession of a crime normally and immediately absolve the sin. The priest may suggest that a person confess to the police.

If a serious offense has taken place, then you need to talk about it not casually and not limiting yourself to general words. The priest must understand how serious a person’s sin is.

An example would be the following confession options:

Father, at one time I committed a serious sin. I worked at a company in the accounting department, and the director persuaded me to commit a major theft of money. Perhaps because of my actions, many people received low-quality services or goods. I am ashamed that I agreed to do such a thing then. I repent of the crime and I am truly sorry if my actions caused serious problems to anyone;
When I was young, I had to deal drugs several times. I didn’t do this on a regular basis, only when I wanted to buy myself a new thing, since I grew up in a rather poor family. I know that this in no way justifies my participation in the drug business. I completely repent and understand the severity of the sin committed;
A friend asked me to give false testimony. I couldn’t refuse and because of this another person suffered. Now my conscience is tormenting me more and more, I ask God for forgiveness for this.

How to approach the priest to confess

In order to confess with subsequent absolution, you must follow all the rules of the ceremony. Before going to church to repent, a Christian must:

analyze your actions, highlight among them the negative ones that violate God’s commandments;
ask forgiveness from everyone you offended by word or deed;
smooth out conflict situations;
forgive your ill-wishers;
read special prayer texts several times (canons of repentance to the Lord Jesus Christ, to the Most Holy Theotokos, to the Guardian Angel);
read the repentant prayer of Simeon the New Theologian.

All these steps are mandatory. Having properly prepared for a church ceremony, a person will be able to clear his conscience and approach the sacrament with a light soul.

Approaching the priest, you need to bow your head, folding your hands crosswise in front of you. In a similar way, a clergyman is asked for a blessing. After this, they place two fingers of the right hand on the Holy Crucifix, and the head on the Bible. The priest covers the layman with part of his robe (epistrachelion), asks his name and calls on him to name his existing sins.

Examples of male confession

A man in a conversation with the priest can confess to various sins:

I'm sorry that I confess so rarely. At the same time, I am a sinful person and I do bad things without even thinking about it. I drink often. I can go overboard, and then I don’t remember my actions yesterday, who I offended, or what bad I did. This is one of my most serious sins, and I repent of it. I often tried to quit, but I broke down and started drinking again and again. I hope you can tell me how I can find the strength to abstain from alcohol;
I noticed that I began to swear often, even if there was no particular reason for it. Recently I had a serious fight with a friend and broke his nose. Although the conflict was trivial. I feel guilty that I hurt another person. I repent of my sins and ask for forgiveness from the Almighty.

David realizes his sin and decides to repent

David did something he shouldn't have done. This sinful act did not please God very much. After the prophet Nathan comes to David, David begins to realize that he has committed a terrible sin. I think that every person has a moment when he realized that he has done something bad and terrible, but has not yet decided what to do next: repent or hide the sin further. When David first sinned with Bathsheba in his royal house, he thought that everything could still be corrected. But he chose the wrong way to correct the situation. Instead of immediately repenting of his sin before God and people, he decided to hide his sin, which ultimately led to the death of innocents: Bathsheba’s husband and later the son of David himself.

Now that the prophet Nathan has come to him, David is again at a crossroads, because he again has to make a choice. After all, at this moment David could deceive and begin to deny his sin. He could again use his power and kill the prophet, as he had done earlier with Uriah, the husband of Bathsheba. But David makes another, more difficult, but correct choice: he decides to repent of his sin, asking for forgiveness and admitting his sin to God.

And David said to Nathan: “I have sinned before the Lord.” Nathan answered David: “The Lord has forgiven you your sins. You won't die. But since by doing this you have despised the Lord, the son born to you will die.” After Nathan went to his house, the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and he fell ill. David prayed to God for the baby. He fasted and, secluded in his house, spent his nights lying on the ground (2 Samuel 12:13-16).

David's child eventually dies. David accepts this punishment from God with all humility. God forgives David, teaching him a serious lesson, but sparing David's very life. David learned this lesson, giving you and me the opportunity to learn repentance before God for our sins.

Examples of women's confession

A few examples of how a woman’s confession can take place:

During one of the difficult periods of her life, she turned to fortune tellers and tried to use magic herself. Now I realize that I did the wrong things, wanting to go against the will of God and seeking help from dark forces. Also, when she experienced financial difficulties, she stole change from the pockets and wallets of her colleagues. I reassured myself that they wouldn’t notice anyway, and that this money would be more useful to me. Now I understand the baseness of my action. After all, I actually stole from the people I worked with and who trusted me. I sincerely regret that I did such a thing;
I'm a terribly irritable woman. Sometimes I myself am ashamed of actions committed in a fit of emotion. For example, I can scold children for a banal offense. Then I only understand that it was enough to simply ask them in a stern tone not to do that again. Or I take it out on my husband when he’s just trying to make a harmless joke. I take this immediately personally as bullying. I am ashamed of my inability to control myself, I ask God every day to give me more patience.
I am irritable, angry, I reacted badly to my husband’s behavior, which I deeply regret and will try not to do this again. I asked my husband for forgiveness for my behavior and now I repent of what I did before the Lord.
I repent, Lord. Sinful. The world is a sinful place and I am no better. I despair, I get offended, I get angry. I skip fasting on both Wednesday and Friday. I don’t strictly adhere to fasting. Sometimes I overeat and get lazy. I scream at my husband and children. I don't trust people. I don't do my job well. I'm worried that I don't have enough money. I don’t trust the Lord, I rely only on myself.

You also need to familiarize yourself with the complete list of 350 sins for women; you will probably recognize at least a few of your sinful acts:

She distorted words, distorted the thoughts of others, and expressed her displeasure out loud.
She set a bad example with her life.
She rarely commemorated the dead and did not pray for the dead.
She sinned by condemning her neighbor and tarnishing his good name.
Allowed sexual intercourse before marriage.
She found pleasure in sinful dates.
I have not freed myself from the passion to tell or ask about news.
She spoke out everything when it would have been better to remain silent.
She succumbed to rage: she scolded her loved ones, insulted her husband and children.
She was an instigator of evil.
She got drunk on purpose in order to decide to sin, and took medications along with wine to get more drunk.
Had more savings than necessary.
She sang in a restaurant, on the stage, and danced in a variety show.
Sometimes she ran into danger: she crossed the road in front of vehicles, crossed a river on thin ice, etc.
She condemned other people's sins and shortcomings, compared people, gave them characteristics, judged them.
I hid my sins during confession.
She got drunk and laughed at other people's sins.
She coldly received sincerely helpful visitors.
She did not abstain from excesses and pleasures.
She was contemptuous of vicious people and did not strive to convert them.
Distorted Holy Scripture (mistakes in reading, singing).
She reproached her neighbor for what had happened.
She engaged in heresy, had a wrong opinion about the subject of faith, doubt and even apostasy from the Orthodox faith.
She wore immodest clothes.
She tried to find out other people's secrets, read other people's letters, eavesdropped on telephone conversations.
I wasn’t always content with what I had: I wanted to have beautiful, varied clothes, furniture, and delicious food.
She sinned with her body movement, her gait, her gesture.
She was engaged in idle talk, curiosity, stuck around at fires and was present at accidents.
I was upset at the loss.
I bought unnecessary things without having to.
She was stubborn against goodness and did not listen to good advice. She showed off her beautiful clothes.
She slandered, demanded justice in higher authorities, and wrote complaints.
She didn’t cross herself, didn’t say a prayer when the church bell rang.
I hurriedly read holy books when my mind and heart did not assimilate what I read.
She was engaged in self-aggrandizement, proudly awaiting greetings from her neighbor.
She punished and lectured the children unfairly.
She was sad about the deceased, about the fact that she herself was sick.
I had no daily memory of God’s Judgment, death, or the Kingdom of God.
Didn't keep God's commandments.
She sowed enmity and discord between people, she herself offended others.
She sinned with malice, did not remain silent in anger, did not move away from the one who aroused anger.
She urinated in public and even joked about it.
She worried people in vain and did not calm the angry and saddened.
She came up with excuses for her sins.
She took extra care about nourishing the body. Accepted gifts or alms at a time when there was no need to accept it.
After communion I did not guard against sin.
She lent money and asked for debts back.
Led others into anger, irritability, and indignation.
I listened to sermons in church with a spirit of criticism and condemnation.
She played with her face, looking in the mirror, making grimaces.
She tried to prove the justification and justice of her anger.
She did not always realize and regret the sin.
I picked lilacs from the cemetery and brought them home.
She strived for championship, competition, won interviews, and participated in competitions.
She lay and luxuriated in bed for a long time, and did not immediately get up to pray.
I ate and got drunk before the onset of fasting.
During times of sadness, I did not occupy my mind and heart with the prayer of Christ.
She conveyed the gift of God to the womb, voluptuousness, idleness and sleep. She didn’t work, having talent.
She minimized her sins in confession.
She shared their vices with people and confirmed them in these vices.
She was plotting in thoughts inspired by the enemy, against the Holy Faith and the Holy Church.
Inadvertently caused pain to animals.
I repeated other people’s bad words, listened to people swearing.
She taught others in an instructive, commanding tone.
The sanctity of Sundays and holidays was violated by games, visits to shows, etc.
She sinned with the hope that “God will forgive.”
I was weighed down by the fast and was looking forward to its end.
She was afraid of suffering and endured it reluctantly.
She charmed illnesses, gave advice to go to fortune tellers, and gave addresses of sorcerers.
She had the sin of Sodom (coitus with animals, with the wicked, and entered into an incestuous relationship).
I drank wine on holidays. She loved going to dinner parties. I got fed up there.
She did not sympathize with the sick and mourning.
She objected with passion, fought, and scolded.
Having previously been an unbeliever, she seduced her neighbors into unbelief.
She worked reluctantly, with grumbling and annoyance because of the low pay.
She reproached the priests and employees and spoke about their shortcomings.
She did not always keep the shrine reverently (the artos, water, and prosphora spoiled).
Having heard that the man was sick, she did not rush to help.
I feared sorcerers more than God.
She was distracted from prayer, distracted others, gave off bad air in church, went out when necessary without telling about it in confession, and hastily prepared for confession.
There were times when she called me annoyingly and knocked loudly to get them to open.
She sinned with idle talk and indirectness. I remembered the words others had said against me and sang shameless worldly songs.
Didn't stop the speaker from gossiping. She herself often passed it on to others and with an addition from herself.
She left a glass of vodka at the grave of her relatives.
She did not keep the Charter of the Church and the traditions of the Holy Fathers.
I did not adequately prepare myself for the sacrament of confession.
She pleased others to please the flesh and the enemy, and not for the benefit of the spirit and salvation.
I was annoyed and offended when my wishes were denied.
She gave wrong advice to her neighbors.
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She insured her life and property, wanted to make money on insurance.
She sought consolation in friendship, yearned for carnal pleasures, loved to kiss men and women on the mouth.
Exploited the work of others.
She told her neighbors and acquaintances about her grievances. I visited places where bad examples were set.
She conveyed her conversations with the elder and her temptations to others.
She sinned with disobedience, arbitrariness, unfriendliness, malice, disobedience, insolence, contempt, ingratitude, severity, sneaking, oppression.
She performed prayers without zeal and bowed low to icons, prayed lying down, sitting (unnecessarily, out of laziness).
I tried to find out more about divine objects than was revealed by God.
She gave advice without knowing whether it was pleasing to God; she was careless in the affairs of God.
On the way to the temple, I didn’t always read prayers.
She ruined her spiritual home, mocked people, discussed the fall of others.
I sinned with spiritual insensibility: relying on myself, on magic, on fortune telling.
I felt sorry for myself for the benefit of others.
She prepared sophisticated dishes and tempted her with guttural rage.
She did not always accept the words of the elders and confessors with faith.
Traveled south for carnal pleasures.
I took Epiphany water after eating (unnecessarily).
She spoke passionately about earthly things and delighted in the memory of sin.
I was ashamed to admit to my neighbors that I was a believer and visited the temple of God.
In anger she encroached on the life of her neighbor.
I rarely did self-tests; in the evening I did not read the prayer “I confess to you...”
She boasted about the sin and evil she had done.
Being under the guidance of her spiritual father, she did everything according to her own will.
She did not keep her prayers and good deeds secret, and did not keep church secrets.
During Lent, she practiced guttural diarrhea and loved to drink strong tea, coffee, and other drinks.
I read prayers and akathists rewritten with errors.
I did not abstain from my favorite foods (albeit lean ones).
She insulted her husband, who avoided intimacy on the wrong day.
She autocratically presented her thoughts as the true rule of life.
She was offended by her parents for punishing her, remembered these grievances for a long time and told others about them.
Gloated at the misfortune of her neighbor.
She grumbled about the bad road, the length and tediousness of the service.
She neglected menial work when she absolutely needed it.
I rarely thought about what I heard in the temple and read in the Scriptures.
Was the cause of sin in family discord.
She sinned by being idle, coming to church late and leaving early, and rarely going to church.
In anger she denounced people, forgetting that we are all sinners.
She kept atheist books and playing cards in the house.
She sinned with pride, vanity, self-love.
She deliberately deceived and told lies.
I did not confess the Lord with my mind, heart, word, and deed. She had an alliance with the wicked.
I believed the rumors. She did not punish herself for her sins.
She did not keep the vows given at Holy Baptism and did not maintain the purity of her soul.
I was distracted from prayer when bitten by a mosquito, fly or other insect.
She suffered from pride, did not condemn herself, and was not always the first to ask for forgiveness.
In church I put bags and things on the windows.
She was rude and not condescending to others.
She ate food without need and hunger.
She was proud, in her lack and poverty she was indignant and grumbled at the Lord.
Idly inquired about the weaknesses of her neighbor.
While fasting, I felt disgusted by monotonous, lean food.
After completing the prayer, I had evil thoughts.
She sinned with gluttony and guttural rage: she loved to eat excessively, savor tasty morsels, and amused herself with drunkenness.
I picked berries, flowers, and branches in other people's gardens without permission.
As a child, I didn’t listen to teachers, prepared my homework poorly, was lazy, and disrupted classes.
I shortened the prayers, skipped them, rearranged the words.
She lived happily with her husband. She allowed perversion and carnal pleasures.
I tried to calm myself down by hastily following the rule.
I sinned with the goal of “I will repent later.”
I have sinned and am sinning by fornication: I was with my husband not to conceive children, but out of lust. In the absence of her husband, she desecrated herself with masturbation.
I fell asleep with sinful thoughts and dreams.
After fasting, I ate light meals, eating until my stomach became heavy and often without time.
She had a spirit of jealousy towards her friend, sister, brother, friend.
I rode for fun in a car, motor boat, or bicycle.
I didn’t try to stay away from a person who likes to chat.
She accepted prosphora and holy water without reverence (she spilled holy water, spilled crumbs of prosphora).
She often did not see her sins and rarely condemned herself.
She violated the rules of conduct for those praying in the holy temple.
She did not always have cordiality towards visitors and the memory of God.
I quarreled with people for a place in the church, at the icons, near the eve table.
I went to the temple and back with empty conversations.
She brought glasses to guests against their will, and treated them beyond measure.
She worked on holidays and weekends, and from working on these days she did not give money to the poor.
Praying for health and peace, she often went through names without the participation and love of her heart.
She sinned with idle ranting, secret eating, petrification, insensibility, neglect, disobedience, intemperance, stinginess, condemnation, love of money, reproach.
I read atheistic books, magazines, “treatises on love”, looked at pornographic paintings, maps, half-nude images.
She endured sorrows without gratitude and self-reproach.
She noticed the sins and weaknesses of others, divulged them and reinterpreted them for the worse. She swore, swore on her head, on her life. She called people “devil”, “Satan”, “demon”.
I was proud of myself for doing a good deed. She didn’t humiliate herself or reproach herself.
When I prayed, I was too lazy to cross myself, sorted out my bad thoughts, and didn’t think about what awaited me beyond the grave.
She did not always feel sorry for sinful people, but scolded and reproached them.
She neglected a man in his old age and his poverty of mind.
She spent money on music, cinema, the circus, sinful books and other amusements, and lent money for a deliberately bad cause.
She was a donor not out of love for her neighbor, but for the sake of drinking, free days, for money.
She suspected in vain (she slandered in her mind).
I listened to the advice of egoists who themselves were slaves of the womb and their carnal passions.
She took part in bad deeds, persuaded her to do bad things.
During prayer I did not always have repentant feelings or humble thoughts.
She spared her strength and health to serve her neighbor.
She revealed other people's sins, mocked them, ridiculed people.
She set herself up as an example, boasted, boasted.
In anger, I scolded and cursed those who offended me: so that there is no bottom, no tire, etc.
She did not force herself to pray, to read the Word of God, or to cry about her sins.
She left prayer because she was tired, using the excuse of weakness.
She forced a person to sin: to lie, to steal, to peep.
She sinned with laziness, idleness, exploited the labor of others, speculated on things, sold icons, did not go to church on Sundays and holidays, was lazy to pray.
She lost self-control when defending the offended, and kept hostility and evil in her heart.
She gave alms and rudely slandered the beggar.
At the sight of human ingratitude, I refrained from doing good deeds.
She was proud that she had not committed shameful sins, capital murder, abortion, etc.
She sinned with indifference and remained silent when anyone blasphemed.
She called the dumb beasts after the names of holy saints: Vaska, Mashka.
She attributed sins and weaknesses to others.
After committing a sin, she did not repent immediately, but kept it to herself for a long time.
She became bitter towards the poor, did not accept strangers, did not give to the poor, did not clothe the naked.
She admonished a person without meekness and love. She became irritated when correcting her neighbor.
She hurried through prayer, shortened it out of laziness, and read it without due attention.
She did not always repay what she borrowed on time.
She did not strictly observe fasting days, during fasts she was satiated with fasting food, she tempted others by eating something tasty and not exactly according to the rules: a hot loaf of bread, vegetable oil, seasoning.
She wore women's whims: beautiful umbrellas, fluffy clothes, other people's hair (wigs, hairpieces, braids).
She visited places of wickedness, debauchery and godlessness.
She did things out of passion and worked unnecessarily.
She sinned by indulgence and indulgence in sins, self-indulgence, self-indulgence, disrespect for old age, untimely eating, intransigence, inattention to requests.
She had an addiction to clothes: she was concerned about not getting dirty, not getting dusty, not getting wet.
She was naked when swimming, sunbathing, doing physical exercise, and when she was sick she was shown to a male doctor.
She could be demanding and disrespectful towards people. She gained the upper hand in conversations with her neighbors. On the way to the temple, she overtook those older than me, and did not wait for those who lagged behind me.
During the fast she had no good disposition towards people and allowed violations of the fast.
She was burdened by the service, waiting for the end, hurrying to the exit to calm down and take care of everyday affairs.
She succumbed to persuasion, to the temptation to sin.
She taught children to spy, eavesdrop, and pimp.
When the visitors left, she did not try to free herself from sinfulness by prayer, but remained in it.
She spoke about God without humility and caution.
I envied rich people, their beauty, their intelligence, education, wealth, and goodwill.
Made bad decisions in anger.
When she remembered worldly affairs, she gave up prayer.
She did not shy away from the flatterers and did not stop them.
I visited a healer, went to a fortune teller, was treated with “biocurrents,” and sat in on sessions with psychics.
In the conversation she used artistic techniques. She spoke in an unnatural voice.
She was troubled in spirit by the slander and considered herself better than others.
She sinned with grumpiness, self-will, and complaining that there was no health, strength, or strength in the body.
Sometimes she became discouraged and carried her cross with a murmur.
She deceived me with her words.
She paid for help in the household with vodka and tempted people with drunkenness.
She did good without thinking about God.
She believed in nameless “prophets”, in “holy letters”, “the dream of the Mother of God”, she herself rewrote them and passed them on to others.
While studying spiritual life, I did not put it into practice.
She was looking for benefit and benefit for herself, and not for her neighbor.
She believed in signs and various superstitions.
She was dissatisfied with her life and with people.
I was tempted in a dream and passionately remembered it.
I was lazy to work, shifting my labor onto the shoulders of others.
She appropriated the money she found.
During the period of breastfeeding, she did not abstain from married life.
She was angry with her loved ones and scolded her children. She did not tolerate comments or fair reproaches from people, she immediately fought back.
In anger she mentioned evil spirits and called on a demon.
During Lent I made tricks in food.
I spent a lot of time on empty letters, not on spiritual ones.
She punished children with anger, in a fit of passion, with abuse and cursing.
I didn’t mourn myself when I did something bad. I listened with pleasure to slanderous speeches, blasphemed the life and treatment of others.
Laughed at the mistakes of others and made comments out loud.
I did not save from the days of fasting to give to the sick, the needy and children.
I wanted everything to be my way, I looked for the culprits of my sorrows.
She attributed success to herself, and not to God’s help.
She sold vodka and moonshine, speculated, distilled moonshine (she was present at the event) and took part.
She begged for alcohol, pawned things and documents for this.
She justified her sins with illness, infirmity, and bodily weakness.
She was vain, proud, did not respect her parents, and did not obey the authorities.
She was jealous of her husband, remembered her rival with anger, wished for her death, and used a witch doctor’s spell to harass her.
I read love letters, copied, memorized passionate poems, listened to music, songs, watched shameless movies.
After the prodigal sleep, I didn’t always read prayers against defilement.
She objected, justifying herself, was irritated by the lack of understanding, stupidity and ignorance of others, made reprimands and comments, contradicted, divulged sins and weaknesses.
She sinned with unspiritual attachment to friends.
She interpreted dreams and took them seriously.
She was angry, shook her fist, and swore.
She was dissatisfied with her life, scolded her and said: “When death takes me.”
In great grief she wished for death.
I listened to the teachers when they said things that were harmful to the soul, against God.
I enjoyed reading entertaining books rather than the Scriptures of the Holy Fathers.
She had a satanic fear for her body, she was afraid of wrinkles and gray hair.
I enjoyed using scented soap, cream, powder, and painting my eyebrows, nails and eyelashes.
She was annoying, interrupted people's sleep, and distracted them from their meals.
She was offended by inattention and neglect of herself, and was inattentive to others.
When I was sick, I often used food not for satisfaction, but for pleasure and enjoyment.
She was proud of her literacy and erudition, she imagined and singled out people with higher education.
She put prayer and church above serving her neighbor.
She talked about her exploits, her labors, and boasted about her virtues.
I sinned with laziness in praying for my neighbors; I did not always pray when asked to do so.
She sought glory and praise in virtues and works.
She did not avoid spiritual temptations. Had some bad dates. I lost heart.
She tempted people, wore see-through clothes and miniskirts.
I wasted my time on useless chores, fuss, and conversations.
The deceased was remembered with alcohol; on a fast day, the funeral table was modest.
She did not always wish salvation for her enemies and did not care about it.
She stained and spoiled sacred books.
She rarely prayed the night prayer. She sniffed tobacco and indulged in smoking.
She disturbed the peace of mind of her neighbor and had a sinful mood of spirit.
She disdained kissing icons and caring for sick and old people.
I was weighed down by sorrows.
I ate a lot during the meat-eating week.
At prayer she was “a slave of necessity and duty.”
I disturbed someone else's sleep through carelessness and impudence.
She had free relations with persons of the other sex.
She was vain about her place, rank, position.
In thought and word she exalted herself in the good she had done.
She wished evil and was cowardly.
She retold empty, superstitious tales and fables, praised herself, and did not always tolerate the revealing truth and offenders.
I was carried away by bliss, relaxation, carelessness, trying on clothes and jewelry.
I used the time of prayer for everyday matters.
To attract attention and make her worry, she tried to commit suicide.
She spent the holidays in drinking and earthly amusements.
On Sundays I didn’t go to church, but to pick mushrooms and berries...
While reading prayers and canons, I was too lazy to bow.
She teased the deaf and dumb, the weak-minded, and minors, angered animals, and paid evil for evil.
She spread bad rumors about priests and monks.
She often opened her mouth to show off her gold teeth, wore glasses with gold frames, and an abundance of rings and gold jewelry.
She caused damage to her neighbor, spoiled and broke other people's things.
She exalted herself with pride, sought primacy and supremacy.
She disturbed the peace of mind of the sick, looked at them as sinners, and not as a test of their faith and virtue.
She sinned with immodest glances, looked at other people's nudity, and wore immodest clothes.
She commanded imperiously.
She was engaged in lesbianism, touching someone else's body with voluptuousness. With lust and voluptuousness I watched the matings of animals.
She did not abstain with her husband during pregnancy, on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays, during fasting, and in uncleanness by consent with her husband.
I was engaged in the interpretation of dreams.
When giving alms, she did not connect it with the correction of her heart.
At work I experienced persecution for the truth and grieved about it.
She made conclusions about the sinfulness of people based on their misfortunes.
I took contraceptives. She demanded protection from her husband and interruption of the act.
She rarely cried because she was living unrighteously; she forgot about humility, self-reproach, salvation and the Last Judgment.
She endured sorrows with despondency and murmuring.
I grieved for the one who offended me. And they grieved at me when I offended.
I missed the opportunity to sow the word of God and bring benefit.
She sinned with sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch, inaccurate observance of fasts, and unworthy communion of the Body and Blood of the Lord.
She danced and played on holidays and Sundays.
Irritated when tired and sick.
I read a prayer, having enmity against my neighbor.
I was ashamed to cross myself among unbelievers, and took off the cross when going to the bathhouse and to see a doctor.
She abhorred the poor, the wretched, the sick, who smelled bad.
She prayed in a hat, with her head uncovered.
I didn’t force myself to do good deeds or pray.
She sinned with lack of faith, infidelity, betrayal, deceit, lawlessness, groaning over sin, doubt, freethinking.
She suffered from gluttony, even getting up to eat and drink at night.
She used her earnings for sinful lusts and amusements.
She was greedy for pleasure and unchaste.
She was a hypocrite and a people-pleaser.
I read newspapers, books, and worldly magazines with enthusiasm.
On the bus I did not give up my seat to the elderly or passengers with children.
She interfered in other people's conversations and interrupted the speaker's speech.
She turned her face away from those asking.
She relied on her own strengths and abilities, and not on the help and mercy of God.
I didn’t always keep the sacrament days, I forgot to read the prayers of thanksgiving. I ate a lot these days and slept a lot.
I was glad that the holiday had come and I didn’t have to work.
I was bored and dreamed of travel and entertainment.
She was fickle in good deeds and did not care to read the Holy Gospel.
At meals I was too lazy to treat and serve my neighbors.
She swore, crossed herself, saying: “I will fail in this place,” etc.
I arranged dates in cemeteries, and as a child we ran and played hide and seek there.
She talked during the meal.
I forgot about my Guardian Angel.
During church services, I read my house rule or wrote a memorial.
I didn’t always retire to be alone with God.
I trusted in man more than in God.
In crowded transport, I felt pleasure from touches and did not try to avoid them.
In the temple she stood with her back to the altar and the holy icons.
Satanic laughter attacked while reading and listening to the Divine.
She believed signs and slander: she spat over her left shoulder, a black cat ran by, a spoon, fork, etc. fell.
She did not always remember and count her violations of God’s Law with repentance.
She envied others and wanted honor for herself.
She slandered others, forced others to swear.
I relaxed with small talk with young people of the opposite sex.
She entered the house without invitation, spied through a crack, through a window, through a keyhole, and listened at the door.
She rose above others, showing her superiority and wisdom of mind. She allowed herself to humiliate another, mocking the shortcomings of soul and body.

Conversation about repentance

What is repentance? What is the place of confession in repentance and in the life of a Christian in general? Is it necessary to confess before Communion? How to properly prepare for confession of sins? – These and other questions are the subject of a conversation between Abbot Nektary (Morozov) and parishioners of the Saratov church in honor of the Icon of the Mother of God “Quench My Sorrows.”

Confession. Holy Mountain Grabarka. Photo: Alexander Vasilyuk / orthphoto.net

We all confess regularly, many do it quite often. And at the same time, rarely does anyone confess correctly, and moreover, it is very rare that anyone can independently deeply and clearly explain what the essence of this sacrament is. There is, of course, a definition that can be read in the “Orthodox Catechism” of St. Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow; it says that confession is a sacrament in which, with the visible remission and forgiveness of sins from the priest, the penitent receives in an invisible way forgiveness and remission of sins from God Himself. But it is clear that this definition does not exhaust the depth of this sacrament. And, probably, in order to talk about how to confess correctly, you must first understand what repentance is.

Repentance is one of the most amazing and most important gifts that fallen man received from the Lord. Because, in essence, no matter how much we sin, no matter how much we retreat from God, no matter how much, let’s even say, we betray Him, He still leaves for us the possibility of returning to Him, throwing, as it were, a kind of bridge over the abyss of our sins, over the abyss of our desire to create exclusively our own will. This bridge is repentance. Moreover, in order to repent, a person with his weaknesses is not required to perform any special feats or achievements. All that is required is that he realize his sins, feel his distance from God and repent, that is, ask God for forgiveness. This request can be expressed in simple words: “Lord, I have sinned, but I want to return to You and live as You please. I'm sorry!" Of course, repentance is not limited to just this change in a person’s consciousness - a change in his heart at the moment. After all, we sin for a long time, we get used to sinning, we develop certain skills from this, which are usually called sinful skills, and we cannot get rid of them in an instant. In essence, we can say that our entire life in the Church from the moment we come into it is a path of repentance. Freeing ourselves from sinful habits, each of us goes through certain stages: awareness of sin, repentance of it, confession of oneself as a sinner before God, expression of the desire to change - and then the process of changing and correcting oneself, with God’s help, begins. And it lasts not a month or a year, but our entire life.

Confession. Photo: Y. Cover

You know that there is a very big difference between what we say with our lips and what we feel with our hearts. And perhaps the most striking example of this is prayer. We follow the morning and evening rules, but we do not always understand the meaning of the words that we pronounce. Sometimes we don’t understand this because we don’t know the Church Slavonic language very well, sometimes because we just can’t concentrate, because the mind is busy with something else. But even when we clearly perceive literally every word of those prayers that the saints left for us, the mind does not always convey these words - or rather, their meaning and content - to our heart. There is such a patristic expression: “a mind that prays attentively oppresses the heart.” What does it mean to “press the heart”? This means that when we confess ourselves to be sinners and say that we are worthy of all punishments - both earthly and eternal, then our heart should shrink from the horror of these words. To shrink in order to rush to God in the next moment, begging Him for mercy. And then, when we confess that the Lord is merciful and loving of mankind, our heart should first feel tenderness - what is called joyful crying, and then comfort and peace from the confidence that the Lord really is like that, that is, merciful, loving of mankind and long-suffering. But very often this does not happen to us, and not only in prayer, but also in repentance. We confess our sins to God and ask for forgiveness for them, but our heart is not always involved in this. And this is the incompleteness of repentance. Or it may be like this: we lament the sin, and feel it, and are sick about it, and completely repent of it, but at the same time we lack the determination to change, to renounce this sin - and this is another manifestation of the incompleteness of repentance. It may also be that we are sick and aware of sin, and we have the determination to change something, but it turns out to be short-lived and quickly disappears. You know how it sometimes happens: a doctor will scare a patient and say that due to poor nutrition, an ulcer is about to open again and he will end up on the operating table - and the person pulls himself together for a while and stops eating what he shouldn’t. , and he gets better. And then he relaxes and again begins to eat haphazardly - and in the end he ends up on this operating table. In fact, the same thing happens in our spiritual life. We relax a little, seeing that everything seems to be more or less good, and first we fall into some small and insignificant sins, and then into those that make us cry and truly lament. This inconsistency of ours is also one of the manifestations of the incompleteness and imperfection of penitential work.

Confession. Photo: Tomasz Poskrobko / orthphoto.net

What place should the sacrament of confession itself occupy in this act of repentance? Lately it has often been said that there is no need to confess before each communion. What motivates those priests who express this point of view? First of all, they say that not every person commits some serious and mortal sins from communion to communion. And then the problem seems to arise: what to go to confession with? It turns out that you need to remember at least some of your sins - maybe think of them, or maybe even invent them, because according to the existing practice in our churches, you can receive communion only after having first received permission for your sins in confession. I can say to this that I personally, as a priest, rarely encounter people who have to invent sins. And I myself cannot boast of this - somehow it turns out that even if we go to confession once every two weeks, and sometimes even more often, from confession to confession, whether we want it or not, we collect a lot there is something in the soul and in life that there is a need to repent of. And as soon as confession before communion is canceled, we will immediately see that those sins, the effect of which on the soul ceased after the next confession, will act within us constantly. What I mean? Let's say we sinned with something that we promised God not to sin with - we ate something savory during Lent or promised ourselves not to spend more than three hours a day in front of the TV, but spent ten. And as soon as we fail in this, then, like some kind of snake, a very nasty thought creeps up: well, now you have sinned, you still have to go to confession, so before confession you can repeat the same thing several times. Probably everyone has felt the pretext of such a thought in one way or another - it’s another matter that someone already has experience and does not allow this thought into themselves, or at least does not succumb to it without a fight. And just imagine that once this thought crept inside, and we think: now, we can still go to confession. But there is no such limitation - “before confession” - as such, it can be postponed, postponed until later and at the same time participate in the Eucharist and live church life. But the longer you go without confessing, the more difficult it becomes to confess - just as it is difficult for a person who does not wash himself regularly to clean himself up when he finally gets around to doing it. And it may happen that so much has accumulated before this “finally” that it will be very difficult to get to your heart and what is hidden in it. Therefore, for each of us, the sacrament of confession is not only an opportunity to reconcile with God after committing some serious sins, and it is not only a formal admission to the sacrament of communion, but it is probably also a necessary form of self-control and opening one’s soul before God.

Regular confession in our time is, in my opinion, one of the foundations of a normal, full-fledged church life. I’ll say again: probably everyone has had periods in their life when, due to some kind of relaxation or completely objective circumstances, they had to confess less often than usual. And we certainly felt how this affected our spiritual well-being. The same can be said about the periods when we confessed more diligently and regularly. I think most of you can relate to your personal experience here.

Speaking about the sacrament of confession and repentance as such, the following comparison can be made. When we receive communion, first comes the rite of the Divine Liturgy - the consecration of the Holy Gifts, and only then the communion of the faithful with the Body and Blood of Christ, that is, one cannot receive communion if the Liturgy has not been performed first. Something similar can be said about the sacrament of repentance. What happens in confession cannot be perceived in isolation from our whole life. It’s one thing when a person comes to church for the first time - he comes with a certain result of his life - and says that he wants to change his life, repenting of everything that he has done wrong until that moment. And it’s another thing when a person regularly goes to church and he no longer has those grave, terrible sins that he may have originally had. Here confession should already be a certain expression of how a person lives. And perhaps the emphasis should gradually shift from how a person confesses, towards how honestly and sincerely he tries to live as a Christian. Therefore, in essence, preparation for confession - correct, attentive, complete - is our entire Christian life. We regularly test our conscience, and when it denounces us, we listen to these denunciations and immediately try to correct ourselves - then, by and large, confession begins to represent what it should represent.

It should also be said about some practical issues related to preparation for the sacrament of repentance. Confessing carefully and regularly, we will certainly encounter the need to find time to prepare for confession. Because when a person comes to church and, already during the service, grabs a note intended to write names of health and repose on it, and begins to feverishly scribble something, remembering his sins, this is no good. But even when we take a piece of paper and a pen at home and begin to write down what our memory offers us, we sometimes cannot remember everything that happened to us over a period of time. Therefore, it is much more correct to adhere to this practice: to examine our conscience every evening, and be sure to write down what we recognize as sinners, so as not to forget later. You just can’t view this as a formal act: we remembered, wrote it down and that’s it - we can be calm, these sins will not go anywhere, they are in a safe place... I remember we had a parishioner, she worked as a nurse and said: “I’ve done these sins so many times already.” I took it, I took it…” – she apparently had some kind of association with the tests. So, of course, you don’t need to “hand over” your sin like some kind of material, but, having written it down for memory at the end of the day, be sure to turn to God in prayer and ask Him for forgiveness for this sin. And this is a certain guarantee that, having entered a new day, we will no longer repeat it with the same recklessness, shamelessness and fearlessness.

When a person sums up each day he has lived, when he examines himself and asks himself the question: “Why did I do this in this situation? After all, I knew that I was doing something bad!” when he torments his soul with this, when he analyzes, understands himself, makes a decision for the future, repents before God and asks the Lord to give him firmness and strength to correct himself - then, by and large score, there is hope that it will gradually improve. If a person does not do this throughout his entire church life, then - believe me - he will not change and will not become better. He will stagnate in the same place, and what will most likely happen to him is what we talked about in detail in one of our previous conversations: the first leap is made from a lawless life to the life that we call life in God, a person leaves the baggage of grave sins is behind and... freezes in place. And someone, frozen like that, eventually experiences a rollback back to their former life. And when a person comes to confession time after time and says: “Father, I constantly go to church, pray and confess, but I remain with the same sins and to the same extent - nothing changes,” this means that there is no precisely repentant work.

Confession

Speaking about confession, it is necessary to say about those mistakes that are most often observed. One of the most common is this: confession turns into a story about life. The person cites a lot of facts and details that have nothing to do with confession as such. Names of people appear, some “characters” appear, main and side storylines appear, and so on. And it is clear that in this way the repentant, sometimes without noticing it, actually avoids repentance. Sometimes this is a desire to hide the bitter truth deeper, and sometimes it is simply a manifestation of the inability to concentrate. The other extreme is when a person confesses very briefly and concludes all his repentance in words: he sinned in deed, word, thought, anger, gluttony, etc. In fact, this is the kind of confession that you could write down once and carry with you all the time - cross out some words, underline other words, and at the same time think that some kind of internal work is happening. Meanwhile, if this work begins to be done truly thoughtfully, we will see that it is not the passions that we have that actually change - it is, first of all, the extent of the manifestation of these passions in our lives that changes. For example, at every confession we repent that we sinned through anger. But there are different measures of anger: you can grind your teeth in anger and remain silent, you can not grind your teeth, but simply remain silent, you can swear, you can scream, you can break furniture, you can beat someone, or you can kill - and all these are manifestations of the passion of anger. Sometimes a person says that he has sinned by stealing, and it is completely unclear what he means by this: either he traveled in transport without a ticket, or took ten A4 sheets of paper from work, or climbed into someone’s house and took out everything that there was. It is necessary to bring some clarity each time. Therefore, without turning your confession into a story, much less a story or novel, you must at the same time avoid excessive brevity and talk about each sin so that the priest understands what is being said. Another analogy can be given: confession is a kind of indictment that a person announces against himself. And, having accused himself, he awaits forgiveness from God, attaching to this, on the one hand, hope for God’s mercy, and on the other, the determination to turn away from sins and not return to them.

Another mistake that also seriously complicates confession: a person talks about some of his sins and falls silent, looking at the priest. And it is not clear whether he is waiting for a word of support, or is looking to see if the priest is condemning him too much for this, or something else. But in any case, there is a feeling as if a person “hangs” each of these sins as some kind of problem on the priest and expects him to sort it out for him. Sometimes this is accompanied by the fact that confession is not made in the first person. The person says something like this: “This is what happened to me, but I don’t understand how it happened.” No, in fact, we are all sane, normal, full-fledged people, and if we sin, we sin, of course, in full consciousness and must approach the consequences of this with full responsibility.

I. Repin. "Refusal of Confession"

The worst thing happens if a person suddenly decides: well, I repented of such and such a sin ten times - or maybe a hundred times or a thousand times - and this means that I will repent the thousand and first, and in general all my life, and I there's nothing to be done about it. This thought is the most vile and most treacherous, because the whole gift of the sacrament of repentance lies in the opportunity to move away from the lectern with the cross and the Gospel and start all over again. If we do not take advantage of this opportunity, it means that we do not understand what the meaning of the sacrament of repentance is. And only the one who, time after time, decides to start all over again, when he already seems to have destroyed everything with his sins, can achieve something over time. And the person who says: “I sinned the day before yesterday, and yesterday, and today, and I understand that I will continue to sin,” will remain in this place, nothing in his life will change. And by and large, the one who says this leaves God the opportunity to save him only through sorrows and, accordingly, through their patience. And we all also lack patience...

Answers to questions from parishioners:

Hegumen Nektary (Morozov).
Photo: A. Pospelov / Pravoslavie.Ru – When we repent of a sin, we must promise not to commit it again.
But how can you say that you will never do something if we are talking about a sin that has been repeated many times? – The fact that we repent of some sin and promise not to repeat it does not mean that we will not commit it. But the fact that we repent of it means that we have the determination not to allow it in ourselves under any circumstances. What can this be compared to? Here you need to walk along a rope that is stretched at a fairly high height. At the same time, you see that below are people who fell from this rope and were broken. And you understand that there is a risk of falling off the rope, but you still have to walk along it. If at this moment you are asked: “Are you going to fall from this rope or not?” – what will you answer? You say, “I don’t know. Theoretically, this is possible, but I will definitely do everything in my power so as not to fall from it.” This is approximately what a person’s life should be like from confession to confession.

In general, regularly recurring sins are something similar to a snowdrift. Imagine: snow is falling all the time, and we have some way to melt this snow. And you can eventually come to the point that only a puddle of it remains. And if we don’t melt this snow, then such a snowdrift will grow that we won’t be able to get out of it and will freeze. Therefore, we need to fight recurring sins, and we need to repent of them, but we cannot assume that there is some sin in our lives and we can no longer part with it. Although in fact it may be that we will live until death and still not cope with it, but at the moment when the Lord judges us, our separation from this sin will occur. This idea once came across to me in the diaries of St. Nicholas of Japan, Equal-to-the-Apostles, and was very memorable. The saint writes about his hope that at the moment when the Lord judges him, He will not condemn him along with his sins with which he has struggled all his life. After all, the Lord knows that he did not form a single whole with them, that they did not determine his life. That is why it is very important not to become associated with sins, no matter how familiar they may be to us.

– How to deal with sins in your thoughts?

– The fact is that, as a rule, the one who truly begins to fight sin inside is the one who cuts off sin in practice. When we commit sins by deed itself, it is quite difficult to fight them inside and destroy them from the heart. When we consider it a law for ourselves that in such and such situations we will remain silent, without succumbing to anger, without succumbing to irritation, without succumbing to the desire to judge someone or say something about someone that we really don’t know - and this is really already localized in us, then it’s easier to figure it out and understand: is this thought that I have in me pleasing to God or is it disgusting to God? And when our conscience tells us that it is disgusting to God, we must make a separation between ourselves and this thought. How can this be explained? Imagine that you started to open the door from your apartment to the landing and suddenly saw that instead of a person close to you, some bandit was standing there. And so the struggle begins to close the door. You won’t allow him to enter if you have suspicions that he’ll try to kill you or at least rob you, right? You will fight to the last. And you won’t say to yourself: “He’s probably stronger and that’s why he’ll still open the door, so I’d better let him in - and come what may.” You will fight - and while you are fighting, either someone will come out of the neighboring apartment, or your husband will come home, or this criminal himself will eventually see that this is not such a simple matter and will hide, fearing the noise. The same thing happens during the internal struggle with sin. At the same time, a person can live his whole life, using colossal efforts in this internal battle, and not budge. But, as Elder Paisios of Athos said, none of us sees how many demons are fighting against him today. Yesterday it could be one - or maybe there wasn’t even one, and the person was fighting with himself - but today there could be a hundred of them, and in order not to budge, we overcome much greater resistance than before in order to so as not to just walk - to run! And it seems that nothing has been achieved, but the work is so great that the Lord will crown it for it. True, you shouldn’t live and justify yourself by this, but you need to know this spiritual pattern.

– Do we need to repent of the sins we commit in our sleep?

– There are no such sins that we commit in our sleep. Because sleep is a state in which a person cannot control himself in any way. The only thing we can pay attention to is that if we see some similar dreams that disturb us in the same way, this should make us think about the state of our soul. At the same time, we do not need to take into account what exactly we see, what information we receive in a dream, what we do in a dream - all this is absolutely unimportant. The only important thing is that if our dreams oppress us in some way, then either we are in a state of nervous fatigue or overexcitation, or we are doing something wrong in our lives, and therefore our soul is bothering us. But there is no need to repent of anything that we see in a dream. Here we need to think differently: for example, if a person drank too much before going to bed, and then he dreamed about something all night, then he needs to repent not for what he dreamed, but for the fact that he was drunk. Or when a person knows that if he overeats at night, he will have nightmares, then, probably, in confession he should say that he overeats before going to bed, and not about what he sees in these nightmares.

– How to deal with shame before confession? It is clear that you need to fight, but sometimes even you are ashamed to admit to yourself some kind of sin, let alone to a priest.

– How do we fight fear when we need to go to get our teeth treated? I’m terribly afraid to have my teeth treated - this is probably one of the most important fears in my life. But I understand perfectly well that if I don’t go to the dentist when I need it, then after some time the problem tooth will hurt so much that I’ll still have to treat it, and I’ll suffer twice or triple the pain. It's the same here. If I understand that I am so ashamed now and I really don’t want to confess it, then how ashamed will I be later, when there is no longer an opportunity to repent, but there will only be God’s Judgment? This thought about God’s Judgment should help us overcome everything. But this shame, which torments us before confession, must be remembered after confession and, when there is a desire to commit the same actions that we were ashamed to repent of, call him for help. But he often disappears somewhere at this time and appears again only when we stand in front of the lectern...

- The person I loved died. We lived very well. Is it possible for me, when I confess, to ask for forgiveness for him for those of his actions that I know?

- Of course not. A person in confession repents only of his sins. We cannot repent for another person. But you probably know that we can pray for the deceased and can give alms for him. Alms are any gift that we bring in memory of a person, and the most important alms that we can bring is our own soul. And you can give money or food to a person on the street with the knowledge that we are doing this for someone, or you can forbid yourself to judge people in memory of the one who died and for whom we pray. And this will be no less effective than the first alms. And sooner and more effectively.

– If a person confessed in the evening and realized that his confession was incorrectly structured, then in the morning, worrying about this, can he come to the priest and confess it as a sin?

– If there is an unhindered opportunity to do this in the morning, then it is possible, but it’s probably better to talk about it another time. Because it is better, especially if it is a Sunday or a holiday, to allow those people who otherwise simply will not have time to confess. And from what you understand, you can simply draw the appropriate conclusions for yourself - and at the same time go and receive communion with the understanding that only the Lord can lead us out of any state. In general, every time we receive communion, we need to approach the Chalice and ask God for what we most desperately lack at that moment. Because this is such an amazing moment of closeness to God, and if we feel that we cannot forgive someone, then we need to ask before the Chalice that the Lord will give us the strength to do this; if we feel that we cannot overcome some passion in any way, then, again, before the Chalice we must ask God so that He, entering our heart, Himself will burn this passion that torments us, oppresses us and does not give us with it breake down. At the same time, I really wouldn’t want you, after listening to me now, to decide that it’s probably worth confessing less often, so as not to annoy the priest; or even at all - that if you can’t confess correctly, it’s better not to go to confession.

– Why do they say that what you hear from a priest in confession should not be shared with anyone?

– There is such a rule, a very important one: you don’t need to tell anyone at all, with rare, rare exceptions, about what is happening in our soul. There is a priest for this, and there are one or two closest people for this. And sometimes it’s not worth sharing with those closest to you, because some temptations arise between people, and what we have revealed to someone sometimes creates the ground for some additional temptations. In addition, there are things in our lives that, strictly speaking, concern us and God. And when we talk about this, we are robbed either by vanity or by some other passions - because there is no other reason to talk about it.

If we talk about what was said during the confession of sins... There is a secret of confession. This primarily concerns the priest, who does not have the right to talk to anyone about what he heard in confession from a specific person. But it is desirable that the person himself treats confession with the same reverence and no longer remembers what he said during it. In general, it is better to completely remove sins committed and then confessed from your life, as if to forget about them. To remember that we are sinners, but not to remember the sins themselves, much less not to talk about them. It happens that during confession a person can receive some advice that will be especially useful to him. Some of these tips are general and can be shared. But most of this advice is still of a private nature - and it is again better not to convey this advice to anyone, if only because they may not help another person in his situation, but, on the contrary, cause some harm.

– If a person suddenly felt contrition about his sin and repented at home or in church in front of an icon, naming this sin, does this amount to the fact that he confessed it?

– You cannot say that it is “equated”; it is not. But I have already said that repentance cannot consist only of the sacrament of confession, because repentance is a process that directly leads us to it. If we are talking about the fact that a person first mourned his sins in prayer - at home or in front of an icon in a church - and then spoke about the same sins in confession, but with a colder heart - yes, this is some kind of single action of repentance. If a person repented of some sins in front of the icon and then did not talk about them in confession, then this, of course, is wrong. Moreover, it often really happens that we first mourn our sins, and then come to confession, and we no longer have such tears about this offense and there is no such contrition, because we have already experienced it. In confession we are simply testifying.

– What should be the sequence of sins during confession, how should it be structured?

– There is no need to “build” in any way. So I did something - I came and said about it. I don't know any sins that a person couldn't express. Why sequence? We are not writing some kind of scientific work. Otherwise, to the list of all other sins it would be necessary to add a certain spiritual complexity, completely unnecessary, and the habit of complicating what does not need to be complicated. All sins are, in fact, quite simple. The circumstances in which people commit them are difficult. But even at the same time, it is still very simple to characterize the sin itself, to name it. This is not an area of study. We need to understand the reasons that specifically prompt us to commit certain sins, but there is no need to go into detail about the order in which these sins should be placed.

Sins that are not obvious to modern man

A believer who rarely attends church may not know that sinful acts include not only theft and murder, but also, for example, following superstitions, sex before marriage, etc.

Such actions in confession can be stated something like this: “Father, in my youth I was sexually active before marriage. Having become pregnant by a man I didn’t know, I was forced to have an abortion. I was afraid that I would condemn my child to a life of poverty and fatherlessness. Years later, I realized these sins and now I often regret that I killed my unborn child and led a prodigal life.”

It is not necessary to carefully prepare for confession and compose a detailed speech. This is not a report to the authorities, but a cleansing of the soul and an opportunity to resolve doubts about actions that have troubled a person for many years.

After receiving forgiveness from the priest, many feel much better, and they try to avoid previous mistakes.