How to behave correctly during a funeral service for a deceased person in a church church
Most people are tormented by the question of what to say, what to do during this procession. It is best to try to control yourself, cry less and pray for the repose of the deceased; the prayer should be read together with the cleric.
For the temple you need to choose things that are dark in color and preferably austere in appearance. Be sure to tie a black bandage on your head or wear a dark-colored scarf. Pants, a long dress or a skirt, it doesn’t matter, the main thing is that your legs are covered. For men, it is preferable to choose a blue or black suit.
In order for everything to go according to the rules, you need to bury the deceased in the place where he lived most of his life and these places became family to him. Especially if he came from another city or country for permanent residence. Before this, you need to collect all the necessary documents, certificates and death certificates, and then agree on the time and place of the funeral service.
The most important procedure is the icon, which is placed on the chest of the deceased, then taken home. Then, it must be installed in the right place and each family member must read the psalter near it.
How does a funeral service take place and what does a person need to know?
Not all people know how the sacrament of funeral occurs and how to perform the funeral service for a deceased person. It is worth understanding that the coffin with the deceased must be prepared before starting the funeral service for the person. For this ritual, it is worth preparing some items
- A cross that fits in the hand and on the chest.
- A shroud is what is used to cover the body of the deceased.
- A paper aureole with saints depicted on it is placed on the forehead of the deceased.
Candles are placed on the lid of the coffin; the cleric does this. It is he who must light them, then the relatives must distribute them to people who came to say goodbye to the deceased. This procedure requires special holy candles. In this way, a person shows that a living person has power over the dead. Then, the coffin is placed in front of the altar, only then the priest begins to pray and psalm.
In order to sing the funeral service for the soul of the deceased, everyone should read a prayer and ask for forgiveness for all the sins that the deceased may have committed. As soon as the priest reads the prayers and prayer service, the piece of paper with it should be placed in the hands of the funeral service and after that, all relatives can say goodbye to the person forever.
Who should not be buried in church?
As it turns out, there are many prohibitions that prohibit burying the deceased in a church. The deceased must be mourned in the afterlife according to all traditions. But the ritual cannot be performed on people who:
- had a different faith;
- unbaptized children, infants;
- God-fighters;
- children born still.
An unbaptized person cannot also have a funeral service, because a cell prayer must be read for him. And therefore their soul submits to Saint Uar. The Church prohibits funeral services for suicides. Due to the fact that they themselves decided to shorten their lives and their soul will not be able to find peace.
It is also forbidden to perform rituals in the temple for drowned people. There are many opinions on this matter. A person who drowned and it was an accident, then a funeral service can be held, but if it is suicide, then a procession cannot be held.
Source: https://rsute.ru/609615-otpevanie-usopshego-v-cerkvi-pomozhet-dushe-obresti-pokoj-i-popast-v-raj.html
How to help children
When a loved one passes away, it’s not only hard for you. Your children also suffer, because they also lost one of their parents. Your main task during this period is to push your own emotions and feelings into the background and help your child. Protect them from your tears, they should not see how much you suffer. Talk to your child and let him express his feelings.
Be sure to answer his questions, do not avoid, even if it hurts you to answer them. You can explain to young children that mom/dad is now in heaven, that the angels took him away. Older children need to be told honestly that mom has left and will never return, but in our hearts she will always be with us and we can remember her.
Children's suffering must not be left to chance. This can negatively affect their psyche. It is easier for an adult to get out of a state of grief than for a child. If you see that you can’t help your child on your own, you need to take him to a psychologist and at the same time work with a specialist yourself.
Prayer for the deceased to go to heaven
This article contains: a prayer for the deceased to go to heaven - information taken from all corners of the world, the electronic network and spiritual people.
All Christian denominations say that even after a person’s death, his soul continues to live. Therefore, it is generally accepted that for God all people are alive. Having built a logical chain, you can come to the conclusion that asking God with prayers for the living or the dead is not a sin.
Is it necessary and how to pray for the dead? At one time, Jesus told a story about how a rich man went to hell after death, and Lazarus went to heaven. Each of them received a “reward” according to their merits. The rich man violated biblical laws all his life, and thereby ended up in hell, where he will have to answer for his sins.
In turn, Lazarus was the opposite of a rich man, so he was deservedly sent to heaven. Therefore, many people believe that only life's actions can determine where the soul will end up. And all prayers for the dead are all inventions of people.
On the other hand, as stated earlier, for God there is no division between the dead and the living. Therefore, he must protect both the first and the second. If we follow this logic, we can conclude that all prayers for the dead are valid and necessary. Thus, the relatives ask God to be lenient with the deceased and provide him with good conditions in the other world.
Sincere prayer will help
Still, one way or another, the church prays for the dead, so it is impossible to say that it is useless. Servants of God claim that the most useful period of time for prayer is the first 40 days after death.
This does not mean that relatives should pray all day long for the first month. But at the same time, one cannot ignore prayer and forget about the deceased person.
Indeed, with the help of prayer, a person can help the soul, which still remains to live, even after the death of the flesh.
Popular prayers for the deceased
How to pray for the dead? The first method is ritual prayer, external or, as it is also called, legalistic. The second way is a sincere, repentant and sacrificial request. Unfortunately, the first method most often prevails, so prayer is replaced by its form. Out of ignorance, it is the first prayer that is called an appeal to God. But it's not right.
Do not be afraid and do not hesitate to ask questions to church ministers, because there is nothing shameful or shameful in this.
All the trips to Church, standing there and the usual ritual - “let me light a candle” will not change anything. Yes, this is also important, but in addition to all this you need to pray, listen to singing, and repent of your sins.
If you sincerely want to pray for the deceased, it is best to contact a minister of the Church. He will definitely help you and tell you how to properly pray for the departed.
In this case, you will be sure that you did everything right.
There is no clear answer to whether we can do anything to help the deceased. And when and how to pray for the deceased, his relatives themselves decide. However, Christian believers must do many rituals and actions with the deceased so that he finds peace in the other world.
One of the most important points of such an action is prayer for the deceased. Thus, a relative or close person asks God to give peace to the soul of the deceased and send him to heaven. All people are sinners, so each of us has reasons to go to hell.
However, there are sins that should not be forgiven, and there are those that “you can close your eyes to.” In the second case, the soul of the deceased needs prayers. After all, it is with their help that after death a person will be able to receive good conditions and be freed from his sins committed on earth.
Since ancient times, everyone has been praying for dead people, and this pious custom continues to this day.
We can see similar prayers already in the liturgy of the Apostle James. And this is just another proof that similar questions worried people many centuries ago.
What prompts so many to pray for the dead? Following the word of Jesus Christ, people should love their neighbors as themselves, so the greatest love is demonstrated in prayer. She is intimate and selfless. This love is very dear to the dead, because it brings help. They say that people who forget about the dead are extremely ruthless.
Often, some people erect incredibly expensive monuments, plant graves with trees and flowers, and store personal belongings of deceased people.
But is this necessary for the dead? Is this the kind of memory they dreamed of? It is more reminiscent of bringing flowers instead of bread and water to someone dying of hunger and thirst.
After death, the deceased only need our sincere prayer and nothing more. In prayer you need to ask for the repose of the soul and this will be the best for those who are no longer in our world.
Stages of grief
There is no protection from grief! But all emotions and feelings must be worked through. If this is not done, there is a risk of prolonged depression, which can last for years or even decades. And this is psychosomatics - cardiovascular, neurological, and even mental illnesses can occur against the background of depression.
To overcome grief with dignity, you need to spend quite a lot of time. In general, this process usually lasts from six months to a year. The main task of melancholy and sadness is to tear away mental and emotional energy from a loved one who has passed into another world.
Experts distinguish 4 stages of grief:
- Within 9 days, a person usually experiences severe shock, stupor, and numbness. The psyche defends itself and cannot adequately respond to what is happening around it. All actions, words and events seem as if in a dream, a person sees himself as if from the outside.
- Up to 40 days is the period of denial. A person cannot accept the death of a lost loved one. He denies this, is angry with himself, with the deceased. At this time, attacks of hysterics, severe despair, and loss of the meaning of existence occur.
- Up to 6 months, the pain gradually subsides. Our psyche accepts the loss, we learn to live again, without a loved one. Sadness and devastation remain in my soul. But the realization comes that we need to move on with our lives.
Such stages can be repeated periodically throughout the year. But they will no longer manifest themselves so acutely; a person will be able to cope with emotions and not fall into despair. Also during this period, feelings of guilt may appear. There may even be physical manifestations - loss of appetite, insomnia, even stomach pain or headaches.
It may be difficult to return to daily activities and there may be apathy. All these are normal manifestations - this is how the psyche learns to cope with severe stress. By the end of the second year, the pain should completely subside. Sadness and memories remain, but we learn to live and enjoy life, keeping the bright memory of a deceased loved one.
Of course, these stages of grief are quite conventional. Some people deal with them faster, others need more time. If this process drags on, physical discomfort occurs, you need the help of a psychologist, psychotherapist or psychiatrist. You must learn to cope with your emotions and realize that life goes on. Next, we will look at the most effective techniques that will help you let go of the soul of a deceased loved one and feel relief.
The first days after the tragedy
An erroneous action towards the sufferer is to try to burden him with everyday activities. Many people think that a person will forget about what happened for a while, and then completely calm down.
In reality, everything happens differently. A person, of course, can do household chores, complete assigned tasks, etc.
However, negative thoughts will only sink deeper into your consciousness. They will remind themselves constantly, as a result of which their mental state may worsen.
If you don’t want to be intrusive or you can’t provide enough attention to a person (a neighbor or work colleague), it’s enough to put support into words.
If no thoughts come to mind, you should not say: “Be strong!”, “Hold on,” “Everything will be fine.” In this case, it would be more appropriate to remain silent and simply hug the person.
What not to bring to the grave
According to esotericists, if you want to visit the deceased on his birthday in the cemetery, you should not put it on the grave or bring it with you:
- alcohol and cigarettes;
- salt;
- food;
- personal belongings of the deceased.
Salt is considered a powerful magical tool. “Dead” salt is used by sorcerers to cause damage. Therefore, it has no place on the grave of a loved one. On the birthday of the deceased, you should not place any food on the grave or eat it nearby. You can remember the deceased with food on this day, but at home, with your family.
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