Condolences on the occasion of death, words of sorrow and sympathy

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Condolences

Condolences on the occasion of death will show true empathy for the loss of a person who is experiencing great shock and needs moral support. Death is always around us, but we notice it only when it knocks on our house or the house of a truly loved one. Such a death takes you by surprise and no one is ever prepared for the fact that on that day they lost someone dear to them. As Bulgakov once noted in his immortal masterpiece, the problem is not that man is mortal. The main problem is that he is suddenly mortal.

Texts of condolences

I mourn your loss. I know this is a hard blow for you
We offer our sincere condolences to all family and friends
I was told that your brother died. I'm very sorry, I mourn with you
A wonderful man has passed away. I send my condolences to you and your entire family at this sad and difficult moment.
This tragedy has hurt all of us. But of course, it affected you the most. My condolences
I understand how difficult it is to lose a loved one. I'm really sorry. Perhaps I can help you with something now?
Sincere condolences to family and friends. Big loss for us. Her memory will be in our hearts. We mourn together with our families.
Please accept our sincere condolences. May God reward her in heaven for all the good she did. She is and will remain in our hearts...
We offer you and your entire family our deepest condolences on your tragic death... We share your grief and offer you words of support and consolation. We pray for the deceased... With condolences,...
Sincere condolences to the family and friends of the untimely departed... from our entire family. It is very bitter to lose your loved ones, family and friends, and doubly bitter if the young, beautiful and talented leave us. May God rest his soul.
Everyone who knew him is grieving now, because such a tragedy cannot leave anyone indifferent. I understand how difficult it is for you right now. I will never be able to forget him and I assure you that I will support you in every possible way, should you contact me.
We mourn with you the untimely passing of... Over the years of our friendship, we knew him as.... This is a great loss for everyone, we express our sincere condolences to the parents, all relatives and friends. May God bless his soul.
They say they love their grandchildren even more than their children. And we felt this love of our grandmother (grandfather) to the fullest. Their love will warm us all our lives, and we, in turn, will pass on a piece of this warmth to our grandchildren and great-grandchildren - may the sun of love never fade...
There is nothing worse and more painful than losing a child. It is impossible to find such words of support to ease your pain even a little. One can only imagine how difficult it is for you right now. Please accept our sincere condolences on the death of your dear daughter.
Dear... I may not have known your father very well personally, but I know how much he meant in your life, because you so often spoke about his love of life, sense of humor, wisdom, care for you... I think that many people will miss him grab I pray to God for you and your family.
There are no words to express how deeply we mourn the death... . She was a wonderful, kind woman. We cannot even imagine how much of a blow her passing was for you. We miss her endlessly and remember how she once... She was a model of tact and mercy. We are happy that she was in our lives. You can count on our help at any moment.
I am truly sorry for the loss of your dad. I express my sincere sympathy to all of you and know this is a very sad and sad time for you. I know from my own life how deep the loss is when you realize that he will no longer be in your life. I can tell you, the only thing that can help you get over your loss is your memories. Your father lived a long and full life and achieved a lot in his life. He will always be remembered as a hardworking, intelligent and loving man. My thoughts and prayers will be with you all. May you find solace in your family and friends who share your loss. My deepest condolences.

Sincere help

A touching condolence for a friend or words of sympathy for a friend about the death of a loved one consoles in difficult times. But let's remember that in the days of loss of a loved one, especially with sudden death, relatives feel not only shock and pain. The burden of hassle of organizing funerals falls on them . For many families this is also a significant cost.

Condolences: support by deed

When can you express condolences?

Right now! Your willingness to help will be more timely than ever.
Give your friend or friend your time, ability and effort at a time when he is vulnerable, depressed and needs participation. Condolences are also appropriate at funerals for 9 or 40 days : at a meeting, during a toast and in a funeral speech.

Examples of condolences offering help

including material:

How can I help you these days?
A lot has fallen on you right now. What can I do for you?
I have a good inheritance lawyer : if there are any difficulties, I’ll give you the contact.
I think you may need financial help . Can I participate?
✒ I write well. We could write an obituary before the wake.
Let me organize a fundraiser for a good “shared contribution” monument?
If you need to call a taxi , let me know!
It would be nice to present memorial cards for the funeral. Help?
I grabbed an untouched set of cosmetics . If mascara runs, I have it with me.
When and if you need anything, contact me right away!
If you need a loan for a funeral , I know the bank and will act as a guarantor.
What is her baptismal name? I will order magpie for the repose.
Order a bouquet or wreath? Do you have any flower requests?
If you need some hands in the kitchen before the wake, call!

An offer of help in difficult times always seems sincere.

Condolences in verse

When the parents leave, the light in the window fades forever. My father’s house is empty and maybe I dream about it much more often. * * * Sleep, my angel, calmly and sweetly. Eternity will take you into its arms. You held yourself with dignity and steadfastly survived these hellish torments. * * * On this day, full of heartache, We sympathize with your misfortune, Our life, unfortunately, is not eternal, Every day we are getting closer to the line... We sympathize... Strength of spirit We wish you at this moment, May the earth rest in peace to your loved ones, May The Almighty protects you from troubles.

* * * When you left, the light dimmed, And time suddenly stopped. But they wanted to live together forever... Well, why did it all happen?! * * * Thank you, dear, for being in the world! Thank you for loving me. For all the years that we lived together. I ask you not to forget me. * * * We remember, dear, and grieve, A cold wind blows through our hearts. We love you forever, No one can replace you. * * * How we loved - only the Gods know. Only we knew how we suffered. After all, we went through all the hardships with you, But we could not step over death...

How to express condolences on a death?

The first rule is: Don’t keep your feelings in your heart. Did you come to the funeral? Come and describe what you feel now. Don't hold back your emotions and feelings. There is no need to be ashamed of what you feel. After all, it was not in vain that you came to this funeral and knew the person. Sometimes it is better to say a few kind words through tears and hug the relatives or loved ones of the deceased than to speak hundreds of words, playing the role of a great speaker. Warm words are what everyone is waiting for, from whom heaven has taken away a piece of their soul.

Second rule: Condolences about death are not just words. Can't find the right words for this situation? Don't say too much. Sometimes it's better to just hug or touch the grieving person. Shake hands, cry next to you. Show that the person was not left alone in this grief. Show your grief as best you can. You shouldn’t do everything in a formulaic way and pretend that you’re very sorry if you’re not. A person will immediately understand where there will be falsehood and where there are true feelings and words. A simple handshake is a good chance to express condolences over a death for those who are not very close to the family of the deceased, but came to pay tribute by seeing the person off on his last journey.

Rule Three: Offer whatever help you can. You shouldn’t limit yourself to just words of grief. Not only in word, but also in deed! This rule has always been relevant. You can offer your help to the family of the deceased. For example, a mother with children could lose their sole breadwinner, which means that all these people become victims of deteriorating financial conditions. It is not necessary to help with money. If you can help in another way, offer to help. Such a move will only confirm that you are helping not only with words, but also with deeds. Don't turn your condolences into dead sentences with your words. Back them up with action. Even banal help in organizing a funeral can become very valuable in the eyes of a grieving person who received a blow below the belt so unexpectedly. Do good deeds and they will be appreciated more than just words.

Fourth rule - Pray for the deceased together. Sincere prayer can be seen from afar - this is what all priests and monks say. This is exactly what should be done in the case of condolences. After a few words, the grieving person should pray for the deceased along with the one who is now experiencing the loss. Prayer calms all believers and will bring at least a little harmony into the wounded heart of the grieving person. Prayer distracts even from the greatest grief. Ask God for consolation for those who are suffering severe torment and do not understand why fate took a loved one from them. The prayer will not take much time, but will leave a wonderful impression on those who are now standing in front of you in black clothes and calling on heaven for help and asking for a logical explanation.

Fifth rule - Remember everything positive that you know about the deceased. In order to say real words of consolation, you need to remember all the best things that connect you with him. Did you play football together as a child? Come and tell me that you couldn't find a better teammate. Did he save your dog? Did you let me cheat in class or in university classes? Remember this too. Mentioning original moments from the life of the deceased will only make loved ones smile. If a smile does not appear on your face, it will be in your soul. The deceased could teach you a lot and bring you joy. Share your memories and in a few minutes you will do the impossible - give a spark of joy to those who are now grieving. Did you have a bad relationship with a person who left this world? Then you should understand that people close to him are not to blame for the small disagreements between you. Forget about all the problems that have happened so far, because when trouble knocks on the door, you should forget about everything.

Rule six: Don’t talk about how things will be easier in the future. There is no point in telling parents who have lost their child that they still have a lot of time to create another small miracle. They should not give hope that time will subsequently heal all wounds, because it is at this moment that it seems to them that life will no longer be the same as always. This is precisely the greatest truth of life - everyone understands that life without a loved one will no longer be the same as before his death. Everyone who is now crying at a funeral has just lost their little piece of their soul. A woman who has lost her husband should not be told that she is a real goddess and will definitely not be on her own in this life. Condolences for the death of mom or dad should also not contain calls for future peace and consolation. Let the person grieve the loss and don't talk about future prospects. Any words about the future will be superfluous, since no one believes in it now and will not see the picture you paint.

Rule seven: Don’t say that everything will pass and that you shouldn’t cry. Most people who say these things have never lost a loved one. Just yesterday a person kissed in bed and drank morning dark tea with his beloved, and in the evening she may no longer be in this world. Just yesterday children quarreled with their parents, but tomorrow they may not be there. Just yesterday there was a party with friends, and tomorrow one of them may be taken away by the sky. And the understanding that you can’t bring your loved one back is the worst thing that can happen in this life. Therefore, there is no need to say that crying will not help here. There is no need to say that there is no need to grieve. There is no need to play the role of a psychologist and delve into the psychological state of a person in grief. The first person who says that there is no point in crying only proves that he does not understand the mourner. There is no way to bypass serious stress - just let a person cry who cannot understand why he has now lost the meaning of his life.

Eighth rule - Forget about empty words! Don't make promises you can't keep. Do not talk about optimistic plans for the person (“Everything will be fine”), because he will not perceive it the way you want to present it. A person does not want to hear platitudes and excuses that are so formal that they have become traditional. It is better to help with deeds, rather than saying traditional phrases from films where the main characters are often buried.

Ninth rule - Don't be shy about your feelings! You came to a funeral, not a holiday. Therefore, be prepared that you will want to hug the relatives of the deceased even when you do not know them at all. In grief, everyone is the same. Don’t be shy about feelings that can cover you in a big wave. Do you want a hug? Hug! Would you like a handshake or a touch on the shoulder? Do it! Did a tear roll down your cheek? Don't turn away. Swipe it away. May you be one of those who came to this funeral for a reason. You have come to a loved one who deserves this.

The main conclusion that can be drawn, taking these rules into account, is that you should avoid cliched words of condolences to the relatives of the deceased and actions that will not bring any benefit. Tactless phrases will not do any good. There are words that will only once again cause misunderstandings on the other side, not to mention possible aggression, insult or even disappointment. Perhaps you were a close person to the deceased, and now you are not behaving as his family expects. You must enter the state of shock in which the person is now. Put yourself in the place of the grieving person and then you will understand how to behave correctly. Do not forget that everything you say may not be perceived as it sounds in your mouth. The psychological burden on those who lose a loved one is incredibly large and this is the decisive moment.

Option #5

Dad always insisted on bringing us all together as often as possible, seeing us all together and that in life we always stick to each other. So today, as usual, he gathered us all together. But this time is the last time he is with us.

Dad was an amazing person - a real fighter and taught us this. Probably, the quality of his personality was influenced by his childhood, in which he often did not have the basic necessities. He pulled his family out of dire need and always achieved his goal. He was inventive and optimistic and taught me in difficult circumstances to turn to this quality within myself for support. Optimism now helps me out on difficult days. For this I will always be grateful to him.

He was an excellent, caring, sensitive and loving husband and father. He never refused me care and help. He built a house, grew a beautiful garden, gave me an education and a roof over my head. He was always a true master and supporter of the family. It was always calm and reliable with him. What more could you want from your own father? There is nothing that he could have given that he did not give to me and my mother.

Today I lost not only my parent and guardian angel, but also my best friend. Because dad, when my childhood ended, technically moved from the status of a father to the status of a friend. Together we realized common plans and he listened to my opinion and often asked for advice. This means a lot to me and gives me a lot of strength and self-confidence. Now I won’t be able to talk to him, discuss and make plans... But I promise, dad, that I will finish everything you started and do everything the way you wanted, planned and dreamed.

I will always remember you, visit you and love you, father. You will forever remain for me an example of a man and a person. I don't want to tell you goodbye. I'll say "goodbye." You will always be present in my life in one form or another, in my heart and in my thoughts, even though I will never be able to talk to you again.

What can you offer a grieving person at a funeral?

Ask how you can help. Perhaps the matter will not be in the material dimension at all, although money in this case is never superfluous. The family of the deceased may entrust you to go to the priest or simply agree on the purchase and transportation of the coffin. A small favor to the family, which is now in a difficult state, will not be superfluous. Indeed, at this moment, none of the deceased’s relatives can adequately assess the situation and their thoughts are not at all about the problematic aspects of organizing a funeral.

Have you heard that even after a murder, friends of the deceased say that they must first bury him with honors, and only then look for the killer? The point is that the etiquette of expressing condolences is very interconnected with funerals. Do your best to make sure this funeral goes well, because every person deserves to pass away with the respect of others.

Offer your help in any way. Help will be received well in any case, and even if you are refused, they will still be pleased. Even ordering memorial cards for invitations to funerals or helping to accommodate guests from distant cities in your home would be a wonderful service. Just don’t talk about everything in such a tone as if you are offering just for the sake of simply offering. Offer specific help and receive real gratitude.

Words that accompany the death of a believer

If a priest is invited to a dying Orthodox Christian, or if he says goodbye to life surrounded by fellow believers, the “Canon of Prayer” is read - a special prayer for departure, the text of which is in the prayer book. This canon, with the exception of the last part, can be pronounced not only by a clergyman, but also by a layman. After death occurs, “The Sequence of the Soul’s Exodus from the Body” is read, followed by psalms. At Orthodox funerals they say: “Kingdom of Heaven,” “Lord, rest with the Saints!”

For Catholics, a person’s earthly journey ends with the reading of the prayers “Our Father”, “Hail Mary” and doxologies. Since relatively recent times, a special cycle of short prayers on the rosary, called the “Chaplet of Divine Mercy,” has also been said.

Organizing a funeral requires a set of actions that are carried out promptly, carefully, taking into account specific circumstances.

Funeral arrangements

For Muslims, it is important to say or at least hear the shahada at the last moment of life - evidence of monotheism and the messenger mission of the Prophet (“La ilahe illal lah. Muhammadun rasulul lah”). Condolence is expressed with the following phrase: “A'zamal-lahu ajraka wa ahsana 'aza-'aka wa gafara limai-yitika” (May Allah Almighty show you a favor, elevate you in degree and allow you to endure the loss with fortitude).

If a person professing Judaism is near death, the repentant prayer Viduy is read for him. Following the death, those present recite the full text of Shema Yisrael (without blessings). A person remains near the body and must recite Tehillim (Psalms of David). Those who learn of the death of a Jew say: “Baruch Dayan HaEmet” (“Blessed is the righteous Judge”).

Be concise!

Words of condolences should be kept short. No one should speak for long because funerals are not the place for great speakers. Leave thousands of words to the priest who will perform the funeral service for the deceased. Keep it short and say exactly what you think. You should also not speak for a long time at a wake, since too heavy phrases cause distraction and lose their meaning. Don't be afraid to experiment in front of the mirror with a few phrases that you have prepared for yourself.

Warm and sincere words are usually very short, like a declaration of love. Love needs no words, and the deceased is worth only a few sincere sentences. Do not forget that it is easy to feel false condolences, since at such times the relatives and friends of the deceased can boast of an increased sense of sincerity and falseness. Kind words can heal the soul and heart of those who are hurt or heartbroken.

What should those who had a conflict with the deceased do? How to behave and do the relatives and friends of the deceased need condolences from such a person?

Find the strength within yourself to forgive the one who was carried away by the sky. After all, death is the end point of all grievances. If you have done something wrong to the deceased, come and pay tribute. Ask for forgiveness in prayer, even if you are not sure you will receive it. Speak sincerely and the relatives of the deceased will accept it with honor. Leave negativity and unnecessary emotions at home. Do not forget that all grievances die with the person. Do you really regret your fault or just respect your competitor in some way? Come and show his loved ones that he was such a respected person that even his enemies came to honor his memory. Do you have a grudge against the deceased? Forgive and let go. Show this to his loved ones and they will be glad once again that you have forgiven.

Be original!

It's always better to come up with a few good phrases that are your own to say to the loved ones of the deceased. By coming up with these words, you can remember something from a person’s past. Perhaps you know something about him that others will not say. Perhaps you know something that your loved ones don’t know. Or perhaps your friend rarely told his parents that he loved them, but in fact always noted to his friends that he had the best parents in the world? Why don't you sympathize and remember this? Remember something interesting. Say something truly valuable to everyone.

What is an obituary today?

Due to the development of online media, print newspapers have become significantly less popular, but obituaries continue to exist. Now they are hung in the form of a poster or leaflet at the place of work of the deceased and published in local newspapers that review the events of a small city or region. In many countries, there is still a tradition of publishing notes about marriages, births and deaths of residents of the area in local newspapers. Larger media outlets print news about death only in the event of the death of famous people, and the format of the note does not always correspond to the traditional canons of an obituary.

An obituary must follow certain rules. The message indicates the last name, first name and patronymic of the deceased, the dates of his birth and death, and the circumstances of his death. It is also customary to talk about the main merits and achievements of a person, talk about significant events, and express condolences to the family of the deceased. If this is an obituary for a colleague, then it is important to highlight his contribution to the success of the organization; if the deceased was the winner of certain awards, they should also be mentioned. The text must be sincere; negative statements about the deceased are not allowed. There is a tradition of mentioning family members and close relatives in the obituary. The obituary may also indicate the date and time of the civil memorial service for the deceased, if the ceremony is planned to be public.

Today, relatives of the deceased, if they want to order an obituary, can place obituaries in newspapers that have a corresponding section or on specialized websites. As a rule, obituaries are written to order by journalists based on information provided by the relatives of the deceased. Less often, the obituary is written by the relatives themselves, and publications publish the finished text. Also, obituaries are often published by organizations in which the deceased worked. In this case, the text is usually placed on an information stand in an office building and posted on the website, and is compiled by company employees.

Condolences

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What should you talk about during condolences?

Say that the person was not just good. Say that it is difficult to find words. Let everyone know that the deceased deserves more words than can be said now. Tell him he was talented. Good. Give examples that will confirm your words. Say that you loved the deceased person, that this is a tragedy for you and that you will miss him. Tell us about what you are grateful for to the deceased and what exactly he did for you. Tell those present that the role of the deceased in your life was great or, on the contrary, not so great, but despite this the world has lost one of the best representatives of humanity. Take breaks. Allow yourself to choose your words. Tell the truth!

You are strong!

How he holds up!
How strong she is!
You are strong, you endure everything so courageously...

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There are times when people who have experienced the loss of a loved one do not shed tears for him during the funeral procession. On the contrary, he has a reaction opposite to what was expected - he is in a calm state and at the same time keeps a smile on his face. Contrary to the erroneous belief that this is all characteristic of a strong person, it is worth noting that these signs indicate the most severe phase of stress. It will be possible to speak about the end of the first stage of stress only when the person starts screaming and starts crying.

A striking example of this behavior is an excerpt from Sokolov-Mitrich’s report about relatives of the Kursk crew:

“Several young sailors and three people who looked like relatives were traveling with us. Two women and one man. Only one circumstance cast doubt on their involvement in the tragedy: they were smiling. And when we had to push the broken bus, the women even laughed and rejoiced, like collective farmers in Soviet films returning from the battle for the harvest. “Are you from the committee of soldiers’ mothers?” - I asked. “No, we are relatives.”
That evening I met military psychologists from the St. Petersburg Military Medical Academy. Professor Vyacheslav Shamrey, who worked with the relatives of those killed at Komsomolets, told me that this sincere smile on the face of a grief-stricken person is called “unconscious psychological defense.” On the plane on which the relatives flew to Murmansk, there was an uncle who, upon entering the cabin, rejoiced like a child: “Well, at least I’ll fly on the plane. Otherwise I’ve been sitting all my life in my Serpukhov district, I don’t see the white light!” This means that the uncle was very bad.
“We’re going to Sasha Ruzlev... Senior midshipman... 24 years old, second compartment,” after the word “compartment,” the women began to sob. “And this is his father, he lives here, he’s also a submariner, he’s been sailing all his life.” The name of? Vladimir Nikolayevich. Just don’t ask him anything, please.”

The question of whether there are people who are capable of not succumbing to the harmful effects of surging feelings of loss remains rhetorical. However, we can say that people who “hold on” are not strong-willed individuals, as they initially seem. Perhaps these are the people who have not yet experienced the first stage of stress and who will soon need to be supported.

Will religious condolences always be appropriate?

Religious rhetoric will not always be helpful, since the deceased could be an atheist or profess a different faith. You should not use phrases taken from the Bible in all cases, because this may not please many who come. Make sure you can afford it. Only in this case can you turn your words about the deceased into quotes from the Bible and supplement them with sincere sympathy. Moreover, the deceased could be an agnostic, like the people grieving behind him. In this case, you should also not speak in religious phrases. Is someone who has lost a loved one really a believer? Then you can correctly select phrases from the church sphere, having first studied all religious epitaphs more deeply. They can push you onto the right path and thoughts. Just don’t forget that there shouldn’t be too much religiosity. In this case, measures are needed more than ever.

Despite this, religious themes in condolences will not always be a good option and it is not without reason that most people ignore them. You need to understand the topic, and if you are not familiar with it, then it is better not to use biblical phrases, but to say in your own words what is on your soul right now.

Question and answer

Is it possible to order the organization of a funeral ceremony from City Ritual Service LLC?
Yes, our specialist will not only draw up an appropriate script, but will also ensure its accurate implementation, help compose the texts of speeches and monitor the order of their delivery.

Where can I learn more about religious rituals before and after death?

On our website there are articles “Prayer before death”, “Funeral service in Minsk”, as well as a series of materials “Remembrance” (in different religions).

What do they say when a Protestant dies?

In general, it is the same as in the case of the death of any Christian, but Protestants do not pray for the deceased. Therefore, when expressing condolences, a Protestant does not promise to pray for the soul of the deceased.

Is it worth expressing condolences in the form of poetry?

Not at a funeral. Even if the mourner loves poetry, a funeral is far from the time to pay tribute to rhyme. Why so categorical? Funeral home experts know thousands of cases where such verses were too inappropriate, and there is one small reason for this. Poems of condolences regarding death are always perceived differently by people. 2 people can explain one line of verse in different ways. One phrase can have different meanings depending on the poetry of the person listening. This is exactly the case when poems of grief and condolences are extremely common and popular, and an obituary in poetic form poses a real risk of remaining misunderstood.

How to express condolences

Differently. It depends on the stage of grief, the ability or unwillingness to share someone else’s pain, the degree of closeness with the mourner or deceased, etc.

If you yourself are in dire need of help, you will not have the strength to deeply sympathize.

Main! Words of consolation must be chosen correctly, at the right time and sincerely spoken. Only under this condition can the seeker of participation begin to come to terms with the loss.

Is it worth writing an SMS with condolences?

Never write SMS in any form if we are talking about a service that gives you the opportunity to send a short message. Can't meet in person? It’s better to call yourself and don’t express sympathy in this way. After all, you don’t know at what exact moment this message may arrive, and its too short format makes the words too laconic. It will convey facts, not feelings. The person will not feel your voice. His timbre. Its emotional coloring. Moreover, messages in such cases are perceived poorly. Was it really difficult to call if you still found a minute to write a message? Perhaps you didn’t want to talk at all, but wrote a message just to forget about it once and for all and not feel guilty? Let your condolences be sincere! These words are so necessary for those who have lost a loved one. They will be grateful to you!

If a person’s father died, what to say, how to help a friend

If you want to support someone who is coping with the loss of their father, follow these guidelines:

if you are visited by compassion for the grieving person, share your feelings, do not hide them;
if you want to wash away your grief with tears together with the person whose father died, cry. Just remember sincerity, this is a very important factor;
If you are in a business relationship with a person who has suffered grief, or with someone who has left our world, then it is enough to speak warmly, but with restraint. Feel this fine line;
Ask the bereaved person what you can do to help.