It is quite strange for us to hear a combination of words such as godgrandmother. Agree, everyone would think that this is very strange and unusual.
Usually he chooses anyone to play the role of godfather, but not grandmothers. But can a grandmother be a godmother? Yes, of course it can.
The christening of a child is a very serious and responsible sacrament not only for parents, but also for godparents
The godfather must be a person who will be a responsible and decent Christian
The christening of a child is a very serious and responsible sacrament. This sacrament should also be approached with special responsibility. The child's parents must choose godparents in advance. This should not happen before the baptism of your child, but long before that, because it can take quite a long time.
Godparents
the child's successors before God
The godfather must be the person who will be responsible, and not just someone else. But sometimes young parents have a situation where they have no one to choose as their child’s godfather.
For example, friends do not want to become godparents, or are not suitable at all. Or there may be a situation where there are not so many relatives, so choosing godparents for your child is very difficult.
Very often you can hear the following question from young people: can a grandmother be a godmother to her granddaughter or grandson? In order to answer this question, you need to understand what the essence of the sacrament of baptism is, and why it is done in general.
The Sacrament of Baptism is one of the seven sacraments that are performed by the Orthodox Church.
According to Christian teaching, a sacrament is a sacred act in which the invisible grace of God is communicated to a believer under a visible image.
During baptism, a child is immersed entirely in water with words invoking the name of the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This is exactly how a person is washed from original sin and from all other sins that were committed before baptism, but since he is a small child, he has no sins yet.
In the church, this means that a person is spiritually born and becomes a member of the Russian Church and the blessed Kingdom of Christ.
During the baptism of a child, they immerse themselves entirely in water with words invoking the name of the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
It is also worth noting that baptism is the very first sacrament that greets a person who is just coming to God. But why is baptism needed at all?
Baptism is taken not so that a person does not get sick or have various troubles, but in order to have eternal life with God.
It is after you learn and understand what the Sacrament of Baptism is that you should make a decision about who will baptize the child.
Mom at christening
Church rules instruct a woman to refrain from going to church during the period of postpartum bleeding, which usually lasts about 40 days. In the Trebnik, a book containing the rites of most church rites, there is a prayer for the fortieth day, which is read over the mother at this time. In the book, this prayer precedes the rite of Baptism; it asks for a blessing for a woman’s entry into the temple and her participation in church sacraments. If we follow the letter of church canons, then any bleeding from a person, including menstrual bleeding, should be considered an obstacle to visiting the temple. However, strict enforcement of this requirement would prevent many people from going to church. Therefore, following the principle of leniency towards the infirmities of believers, many pastors allow in such cases to be present at the service, but to refrain from touching sacred objects. We wrote about this in one of the issues of our magazine. The postpartum period temporarily deprives a woman of the opportunity to come to church. Therefore, her return to church life is accompanied by the priest reading a special “Fortieth Day” prayer over her. Usually, this prayer immediately precedes the sacrament of infant baptism. It can be read on any other day after the end of the cleansing time, but not earlier. Therefore, it is not necessary to coincide with the christening exactly on the 40th day after birth. You should also not rush to baptize your baby before this time. This can only be justified in extreme circumstances, for example if the illness threatens the life of the infant. In this case, indeed, one cannot hesitate or doubt, because not only life is at risk, but also the salvation of the child’s immortal soul.
Before the expiration of the specified period of purification, the priest has the right to prevent the woman in labor from entering the temple. If baptism takes place in another place, for example, at home or in a hospital, then such a requirement will be untenable. It is wrong to believe that a mother should not see her own child baptized; such an assumption is an ignorant superstition. Unfortunately, in some churches you may actually encounter a situation where church employees do not allow parents to be present during the sacrament of Baptism. A sad fact: not all clergy have a systematic spiritual education. When churches began to open in large numbers in our country in the early 90s, a significant shortage of clergy personnel arose, and insufficiently prepared people were sometimes ordained to the priesthood. The laws of the Church are called canons. Canon law is a rather complex science, among other things, its complexity is explained by the fact that, unlike civil law, which uses only the latest documents, the Church still has rules that are hundreds of years old. Moreover, often, the older the canon, the more authoritative it is. The interpretation of these rules and their law enforcement practice were placed in various collections published before the revolution. One of them was published in 1864 and is called “Manual for Rural Pastors”; in its third part, on page 194, you can find an indication of allowing parents to be present at the baptism of their children. Archpriest Konstantin Nikolsky also testifies to this in his “Manual for the Study of the Charter of Divine Services” that he published. The fact of the presence of parents at the christening is evidenced by the ancient writings of Saint Hippolytus of Rome, who lived in the 2nd – 3rd centuries (!) AD. Thus, if suddenly in a church you are not allowed to attend the baptism of your own child without explanation, try to refer to the canonical collections I have given here as an argument (you can show the magazine). Convince the temple staff that your requirements are determined by church laws, which you know and are obligatory for fulfillment in all Orthodox churches. If this does not help and the arguments of reason are not heard, find out the rank, first and last name of the person with whom you spoke and report the violation of your canonical rights to the Diocesan Administration. As a rule, the issue is resolved quickly, after just one mention of the Diocese.
Godparents are the child’s successors before God for the rest of his life.
What kind of godparents should be?
Godparents are considered the child’s successors before God. The parents have the task of feeding, clothing, raising and teaching the child, while godparents need to raise their spiritual child in the Orthodox faith, to lay moral foundations in him.
In fact, during baptism, godparents bear quite a lot of responsibility. They carry it further than the parents themselves, but why? Because they are responsible for his soul.
Godparents mom and dad are considered the child’s successors before God, as they are responsible for his soul
What should godparents be like? First of all, such people must be truly Orthodox and responsible people.
People who are going to become godparents must constantly visit the temple and begin the Sacraments of Christ. But if you look at it, who could such a person be? This could be grandparents - the closest relatives.
Who can be godparents and who can't
According to church rules, children from the age of seven already bear full responsibility for their actions. They are no longer allowed to take communion without confession. Therefore, if a child is sufficiently churched, he can become a godfather. But when choosing a child as godparent, think carefully. The godmother or father must raise their godson in the Orthodox faith, and the child himself is still just learning the basics of Orthodoxy. Still, it is better to choose an adult, accomplished person as godparents. After all, if something happens to the child’s blood parents, the minor will not be able to take responsibility for the godson. If you nevertheless decide to take a minor as godparents, it is better that this is a child who has reached the age of 15.
Interesting read: How much does it cost to notarize a copy of a Birth Certificate
Choosing godparents is a very important point. And here you need to be guided primarily by the interests of the child, and not by your own. Often, best friends or “necessary” people are chosen as godparents, without really delving into how much the person belongs to the church.
The grandmother is a believer and baptized - she can be godmother to her granddaughter
So, can a grandmother be a godmother? Yes, you can take your grandmother as your godfather. Usually the boy has a godfather, and the girl has a godmother. This suggests that the godfather and godmother must be same-sex.
But many women will ask, is it really possible that my mother will be the godmother of my own child? The Orthodox Church does not prohibit this.
If the grandmother is Orthodox and baptized, then she can be the godmother of her own granddaughter.
Grandfathers can also be godfathers to their own grandson.
Who should not baptize a child? A child cannot be baptized:
- Gentiles;
- non-believers;
- unbaptized.
What should a grandmother do before the Sacrament of Baptism occurs? Here we are not talking about buying a baptismal shirt, candles, and so on, but what we mean is spiritual preparation.
3 Sundays
in a row, godparents must attend services in the temple before the Sacrament of Baptism
Before the Sacrament of Baptism, godparents must attend church services on three Sundays in a row. The priest will talk to them, finding out whether they can be godparents, whether they can do everything that will be entrusted to them, and this is the most important thing - the soul of the child.
They must also attend lectures on faith and baptism. Such lectures are given in almost every temple.
In fact, baptism is a rather long and serious process and appropriate preparation is required. That is why you need to think through all the smallest details in advance.
After baptism, the grandmother - godmother promises that his successor will live according to the commandments of God, and that the child renounces everything unclean and bad. Now we know that grandparents can be godparents.
Do you know if it is possible to be a godmother when pregnant?
In the modern world, people's knowledge and understanding of church laws and Christian customs has decreased. This is due to the fact that children do not receive information about this at school or college, but only from their parents.
A pregnant woman can be a godmother if she understands that this is a very responsible mission. After all, the main thing is not to simply take part in the ritual and join the Great Sacrament. The main task of the godparent is to be a mentor for the child and help parents in nurturing his faith, kindness and purity. It is up to the parents of the baby and the woman herself to determine whether a pregnant woman can be a godmother.
09 Jun 2022 uristland 506
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Grandmother - must prepare in advance for the baptism of the recipient and look appropriate
How grandparents should prepare for this event:
- Cosmetics. Grandma should not have any makeup on her face. We go to the temple to see God, and not to a disco somewhere. In fact, many may think, what kind of cosmetics can a grandmother have? In fact, many grandmothers want to look much younger than their age, so they apply a little makeup to their face. And sometimes young people give birth to children quite early, so the grandmother cannot be more than 50 years old.
- Cloth . Grandmother must wear either a dress or a skirt that falls below the knees. If this is a dress, then it must be completely covered. A scarf is put on the head. It is unacceptable for a woman to stand in a temple without a headdress, and men, on the contrary, must take off their headdress when entering a temple. It is also necessary to ensure that your feet are wearing comfortable shoes, because you will have to stand for quite a long time and your feet may get tired. Grandfather must wear a shirt and trousers.
- Time . And, of course, the most important rule is never to be late, because it will be disrespectful to the priest and to others.
Baptismal accessories are also purchased by godparents. They are also considered to pay for baptism.
Payment for the baptism of a child can be clarified at the church shop in the temple.
When should a child be baptized? The child needs to be baptized, the sooner the better, because from the moment of baptism the child has his own Guardian Angel, that is, a heavenly patron, only after baptism can the child be given communion and pray for him in church.
Very often godparents worry whether the priest will change the child’s name to the one they chose for him? In fact, there is no need to worry about this.
The priest will simply give the child a second name - an Orthodox name, which would have been given to him in honor of his saint, on whose day he was born. For example, if a girl’s name is Olesya, then at baptism she can become Olga or Alexandra.
Orthodox Life
Orthodoxy and modernity
Why are godparents needed, who can become one, and who is prohibited from doing so? How should communication between the godson and the godson be structured, and what should be done if the parents prevent this? Conversation with priest Igor Moskvichev.
— Throughout the New Testament history of the Church, the role of godparents in the lives of godchildren changed. For the first Christians, these were recipients for teaching the faith - in fact, they were simply members of the community who helped their students enter church life. Subsequently, godparents were equated to close relatives, and society began to expect them to provide financial care for their godchildren. At the same time, the godfather understood that if something happened to the godson’s parents, he must take the child to be raised. What now?
— The receiver perceives a person from the font, hence the name. This is what was and remains the essence of the godfather's role. This role is auxiliary: when a child learns to walk, parents first support him - the same thing here.
Unfortunately, now we very often observe a formal attitude towards the Sacrament of Baptism: we took part in a beautiful ceremony, and after that the connection ceases. This shouldn't happen. In addition, it is believed that only small children need godparents, because they cannot say anything for themselves - neither utter a renunciation of Satan, nor read the Creed. But in fact, it cannot be said that adults do not need godparents. Some time ago I baptized a sixteen-year-old girl, and she was with her godmother - such a practice may well be justified, especially if a person came to Baptism consciously. Another misconception is that for a child from a believing family, the role of godfather is formal, since his father and mother will teach him church life. When there are normal godparents, this is a great help, even if the child grows up in a believing, church family.
— At what age can you become a godfather?
- Everything is individual here. The decree of the Synod of 1836 states that boys can become godparents from the age of fifteen, girls from the age of thirteen. This norm comes from Roman law, where 14–15 years is the age of majority. And girls could get married even earlier. To this day, the synodal legislation has not been repealed, so even now we can focus on this age. But you need to understand that not every 15-year-old boy understands Christian issues and theology. There are, of course, literate, well-read teenagers, but not so often. Sometimes even nine-year-old children are brought to public conversations as future godparents - this is a profanation, because it is clear that this child is not yet ready for such responsibility.
—Who can you choose as godparents from among your relatives?
- Only parents are not allowed, others are allowed. Adoptive parents, by the way, also cannot be adoptive parents. Usually they still try to take someone from the outside rather than close relatives.
— Can a stepfather become a godfather of a stepson or stepdaughter? Moreover, there can be two cases: a man is married to the mother of a child who is going to be baptized, or he is already a godfather and is going to marry the mother of his goddaughter.
- Prohibited in both cases. The adoptee cannot marry either the adopted girl or her mother, even if she is widowed or divorced.
— Can a married couple be godparents? And another situation - can the godparents of one child get married after some time?
- Everything is possible here. In 1796, a synodal decree was issued that persons who baptized the same child were allowed to marry, and a husband and wife who baptized the same child were not separated. Obviously, some precedents had happened before, which is why the Synod made this decision.
- Can a priest become a godfather?
- Yes, but at the same time another priest performs the sacrament. But monastics cannot be godparents, because a monk is a person who has left the world, and he should not be bound by responsibilities towards his godchildren.
— And if the godfather took monastic vows, how will this affect his communication with his godson?
“Then he will simply pray for his godson, and the child can visit him in the monastery from time to time.”
—Who is better to choose as godparents: a church person who lives far away and will not be able to communicate with the child often, or a close friend who does not lead a church life?
— I would choose the first option. If only because a church person will pray for the child. The main duty of a godfather is to pray for his godson. Ideally, he should help him in his Christian formation, especially if his parents are not involved in this. Then the child will understand that his godfather is not just an uncle who was once with him in church for some reason, and being baptized is not just wearing a cross on his chest.
— What to do in a situation when there is no one to choose as godparents - there are no friends or relatives?
— You can ask one of the temple employees or priests. It is clear that the connection will not be so strong, but in most cases this person will at least pray for the child. I know a case when they called a person godfather to unfamiliar people, and then they began to communicate, and this grew into a strong friendship.
- Can there be one godfather or godmother, or must there be two?
— Two godparents is a Russian tradition; it appeared in the 14th–15th centuries. This is an analogy with a family: just as a person has two parents, so do godparents - mother and father. But if you look at the rite of baptism, there is always talk about one recipient, so one is enough, the main thing is to approach this choice consciously.
- Can a girl have a man as her only godfather? Or, on the contrary, does the boy have a woman?
- You can baptize like that. The tradition of having a godfather of the same sex as the person being baptized dates back to the time when people were baptized naked. Now we baptize adults in long shirts, and this moment is no longer important.
— Until what age is the godfather responsible for the child?
— Both communication with parents and communication with godparents does not end after the child’s eighteenth birthday. I remember two grandmothers - one over 80 years old, the other under 70. And it’s so funny to watch how one calls the other godmother. The older one still advises her goddaughter something - and she listens to her and agrees. This is an example of what a relationship can be - for life. It is clear that if a child was baptized in infancy, and at ten or fifteen years old he is told: “Here is your godfather, meet me,” he is unlikely to listen to advice; for the child this is a stranger.
When children grow up, they want to have their own living space, to protect their world from invasion, so it is very important for a grown-up godson not to interrogate him about the last time he was in church or when he took communion. If a young man, thanks to his upbringing, including from his godfather, at least refrains from the falls characteristic of this age, then we can say that the task is completed.
— The godson’s parents are non-church people and refuse to let the child go to church with the godfather or talk about faith, although they promised. What should I do?
— A child, as a rule, follows the example that he sees in front of him. And most importantly, he sees this example primarily in the lives of his parents. But if the parents do not want to change anything in their lives and the godfather is forbidden to lead his line in raising the child, then communication with the godson’s family is still not worth interrupting - it is important to at least somehow preserve it. Having a fight and leaving is not the answer.
Interviewed by Yana Stepanova
A newborn child may have one godparent
Many people ask, can a child have one godfather? Yes maybe. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.
Also, many people ask, if one of the godparents was unable to appear at the sacrament of baptism, can he be registered as the child’s godparent? Many priests answer this question like this: before 1917, there was a certain practice, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family.
It was then that, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, they agreed to be considered the godparents of this or that baby without the presence of one of the godparents. But, since we are talking about today's situation, you will have to do as you want.
A child may have one godfather. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson, for example, it can only be a grandparent
Many people are interested in this question: is it possible to abandon godparents, and is it possible to baptize a child? In fact, a child can only be baptized once, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed only once.
Of course, it would be better if the child had both godparents. Let you choose better than some good pious person who could take the blessing from his confessor to the role of godfather or godmother.
Is it possible to be a godmother?
Today, almost every family professing the Orthodox faith seeks to introduce their newborn baby to this faith. Most parents perform the baptism ceremony for their baby in the first year of his life.
- However, even now for a pregnant woman there are certain “contraindications” to participation in the ritual regarding her well-being. If a woman is having a hard time with her pregnancy, then it is worth considering that the ceremony is quite long in time and requires endurance and some physical effort from the godmother. If you are not sure that you can stay on your feet for a long time, and at the same time hold a baby, and sometimes a fairly adult baby, in your arms, then you should not subject your health to such a test.
- Before accepting an offer to become a godmother, a pregnant woman should think about whether she can fully fulfill her duties towards her godson, having her own newly born baby in her arms. After all, this role is not limited to buying birthday gifts, but involves full participation in the child’s life and spiritual guidance in the development of his personality.
