Why is an epitaph needed for a tombstone?
Epitaph is a text of mourning content. Often used to honor the deceased. The format can be very different: short or long text, written in prose or poetry. The topic is also chosen arbitrarily: you can touch on the profession of an adult child, the studies of your youngest son, character, appearance, family ties. At the same time, the inscription on the monument to his son can have different meanings:
- parents and other relatives pay tribute to the child;
- relatives strive to show how much they love their son;
- epitaph is a way to preserve the name of the deceased for centuries even after the end of his life; a tombstone made of stone will retain its shape and structure for a long time, which means that more than one generation of descendants will see it;
- The inscription on the gravestone is a way to show how much the family grieves for the deceased.
Choice of inscription - epitaph on a monument to a son from his parents
To properly design a headstone, relatives must decide what text will be placed on the stone slab. There are different possibilities for this. First of all, they consider the likelihood of ordering mourning words from specialists. This makes things easier and allows you to do other things while the funeral is taking place. But more often than not, parents are simply unable to do anything else; they just live through their grief. It’s hard for them to even think about the death of a child, not to mention the opportunity to participate in the process of organizing the funeral.
Accordingly, ordering a third-party epitaph for a monument to his son is the best solution. Moreover, this problem should be entrusted to other relatives. The parents still did not fully believe that their son had died. If among your loved ones or acquaintances there is someone with talent who is a master of artistic expression (an amateur poet), you can ask him for help - to compose an epitaph. With personal participation in the process, the likelihood of writing excellent text increases. In this case, the level of sincerity will be the highest, so this option should not be discarded immediately.
Epitaphs are short
Sometimes deep emotions are contained in one word. They can be seen and felt when reading the inscription on the grave. It happens that relatives cannot express all their feelings in a text of standard length; they try to write briefly, but it turns out more succinctly. Any option is suitable for a tombstone, but it should be borne in mind that increasing the size of the text will also lead to a change in the dimensions of the slab. Options for short epitaphs:
“There is no greater pain than the loss of a child”
“There is no place left for you in your native land, but the memory will live forever”
“How painful it is for us to part with you, not to hear words, not to see eyes”
“It’s so easy to imagine you alive, but it’s simply impossible to believe in death.”
“Your eternal peace is endless pain for us”
Despite the short text, the words speak more eloquently than any long speech. It is important to make sure that the meaning will be clear to others. At the same time, the epitaph should evoke sad thoughts and correspond to the location of the tombstone.
The text cannot be abstract, contentless, standard, because my own son has died.
Epitaph in verse
The mother tries to express herself in different ways. One of them is poetry. Any emotion can be expressed in them. When an epitaph is written for a son, first of all, the soul must participate in the process. Other feelings will speak through her. If a son happened to leave his parents, then they should not forget about him, even after a long time. The inscription on the grave will remind you of the feelings experienced:
☨☨☨
How difficult it is to find words to measure our pain.
We cannot believe in your death, you will be with us forever. ☨☨☨
You died only for the light, And in the memory of your dear family, With a smile of warm greeting, your dear image lives on.
☨☨☨
Dear son, our angel, Fate punished us.
You were no longer around, the sun stopped warming. ☨☨☨
Epitaphs - lines from songs
Relatives quite often express a desire to bury their child to their favorite song. In addition, 1-2 lines are taken from the text. What can come of this:
option that has become traditional - “The earth is empty without you...”
“In the mountains, neither stone, nor ice, nor rock is reliable, only faith, motherly love”
"The best is yet to come"
“Others will sing all the songs for you”
Sorrowful words
The depth of grief of the father and mother is enormous. All their thoughts are only about their late son. At the same time, there are always words ready that can express the power of grief:
“You became the heart inside me, a memory, a part of the soul”
“You will forever remain joyful, funny, cheerful, but you won’t show the world your smile”
“You're gone forever, but you're still cute. I can’t forget your appearance, I can’t survive your feelings.”
“Sleep well, our beautiful baby”
“Heaven will take it, and mom will remain waiting. Eternal memory, son."
Beautiful and touching epitaphs
Deep, gentle inscriptions can be created not only by mom, but also by dad. This ability is acquired over time, when you have to learn to live without your beloved child. Options for inscriptions on the grave:
“You led others not by yourself, but by victory and dreams”
“My dear angel, I’m sorry, it’s my fault that I wasn’t with you at the hour of death.”
“I will carry my love from heart to heart so that everyone remembers”
“He did not die and did not die. He left, but remained close"
“You bow to him - he was a man!”
Inscriptions on the monument to his son in 2 lines
For a small child or adult son, choose phrases that will warm parents when visiting a cemetery:
☨☨☨
Blessed is he who has chosen his goal, his path, who has recognized the path of his whole life.
☨☨☨
You live and will live In the memory of those who love you.
☨☨☨
We cannot escape love, sorrow, You alone managed it.
☨☨☨
Text of prayers for deceased children in Russian
There are several prayers for the departed in the Orthodox canon. Including prayers for the deceased son and daughter. They are read on memorable dates, remembrance days, on parental Saturdays, when all the deceased are remembered. Be sure to pray and give remembrance if the child had a dream at night. This means that the soul needs the help of the living.
Prayer for dead children
Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the life of Thy eternal servant (Thy servant) (name), and as he is good and a lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, exonerating him (her) at Your holy second coming into the communion of Your eternal blessings, for the sake of which there is only faith in You, the true God and Lover of mankind.
For Thou art the resurrection and life and rest of Thy servant (Thy servant) (name), Christ our God. And we send glory to You, with Your beginningless Father and with the Most Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, Amen.
Prayer for a deceased son
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom your deceased servant, my child (name), and create for him eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord.
I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth, with Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my deceased child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins as well, so that they may not remain on our children: we know that we have sinned many times before You, many of whom we have not observed, and have not done, as You commanded us. If our deceased child, ours or his own, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and his God: if you loved the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the pleasures of life, and not more than with contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been consigned to oblivion - I earnestly pray to Thee, forgive, most good Father, all such sins of my child, forgive and weaken, even if you have done other evil in this life . Christ Jesus!
You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, remove eternal torment and dwell with all Your saints, who have pleased You from the ages, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer for a deceased daughter
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Thy Kingdom the deceased Thy servant, my child (name), and create for her eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord. I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth, with Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my deceased child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins as well, so that they may not remain on our children: we know that we have sinned many times before You, many of whom we have not observed, and have not done, as You commanded us. If our deceased child, ours or his own, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and his God: if you loved the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the pleasures of life, and not more than with contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been consigned to oblivion - I earnestly pray to Thee, forgive, most good Father, all such sins of my child, forgive and weaken, even if you have done other evil in this life . Christ Jesus! You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, remove eternal torment and dwell with all Your saints, who have pleased You from the ages, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Epitaphs on a monument from a brother
The fear of complete loss, the desire to show the depth of love and grief forces us to look for different ways to express our feelings. For this reason, the inscriptions for the design of the tombstone are selected with such care:
“Fall asleep to the singing of the rain...”
“Among the living, I burned like a star. He left, and the world became empty..."
“Your bright, pure image will remain with us forever”
“The memory of you and your kindness will not die among us”;
“Here is the door to heaven.”
Brothers can write epitaphs themselves. Only in this case, the words can be too dry and unemotional, because men more often keep their experiences to themselves.
Epitaph for a monument to a son from his mother
To relieve chest pain, parents use more gentle words in relation to their child, even if during his lifetime he was of a stern disposition with a difficult character. Sentimentality is more characteristic of women, which means that the deceased may suddenly receive a granite slab with an affectionate inscription. Options:
“Gone... Our son, grandson, loved one and brother went into the constellation of mists”
“My soul burned in that fire that rushed like a mortal tornado across the country”
“A mother’s tear, a father’s sadness, a brother’s loneliness, a grandmother’s and grandfather’s grief will forever burn on her cheek.”
“You became an angel, you soared into the sky, how little you really were with us.”
“May God fill your lips with laughter once again”
Grief shows up
The second stage is acute grief. The duration of this period is from forty to fifty days. During this period, the feeling of guilt towards the deceased comes first. The death of a child especially acutely awakens feelings of guilt in parents.
The mother is grieving the loss of her son, blaming herself for not saving him from possible harm. It is easier for her to die herself than to experience such grief. If the child is seriously ill, the parents blame:
- yourself for not doing everything possible to save yourself;
- doctors who may have chosen the wrong treatment method;
- other people who could have caused the disease.
This happens because the child, subconsciously, is perceived by the parent as a part of himself: it is very difficult to accept the loss of your part when you yourself are alive. During this period, the help of loved ones or specialists is very important, who will help you understand the situation and prevent the feeling of guilt from taking on real forms: it is important to correctly form an attitude towards the event of death.
How to compose your own epitaph for a monument to your son
When there is resentment towards the whole world, a desire to punish those responsible for the death of a beloved son, sooner or later relief comes. This moment is accelerated by showing respect for the deceased, supporting each other, and finding a way to show the depth of one’s feelings. You cannot concentrate on the fact of the child’s death, otherwise negative emotions can consume the grieving person. You should share memories of him with loved ones, pray for the soul of the deceased, and accept the pain. In such a state, a distraction will help, such as writing an epitaph.
How to choose words for an epitaph
The theme of the inscription may be different. They often use religious motives and introduce personal meaning and emotions. Everyone can make their own choice. There are no hard and fast rules governing the order in which an epitaph should be composed. At the same time, small text also becomes capacious. You can talk about love, grief, the desire to be with your deceased son, your hopes. It is acceptable to quote writers, philosophers, and poets. There is a basic rule that determines the writing of an epitaph: the words must be sincere; deceit and untruth will be felt.
If you decide to use standard text, it is important to select it carefully. Epitaphs of this type are universal. They are written taking into account the circumstances, but without emphasis on any event. So, an inscription is also prepared for the gravestone of a suicide. This is a sensitive issue that requires a special approach to solving. Ritual attributes are not used in this case, but an epitaph can be composed. However, words of prayer should not be used.
It is recommended to visit the church; the Holy Father will tell you what can and cannot be used when drawing up an inscription for a tombstone. Epitaphs are written in the same way for other occasions.
Tombstone monument
Where is the epitaph engraved?
In most cases, monuments are made of stone: granite, marble. To put an image of the deceased or the text of an epitaph on the slab, you need to contact the organization whose employees are engaged in stone processing. Most often, the design of a gravestone is ordered at the stage of making the monument. A decision is immediately made about what will be inscribed on its front side and what format of the inscription to choose.
Various application methods are used:
- engraving is the most common, reliable method, carried out manually or using computer technology, this allows you to increase the shelf life of the inscription on the gravestone, you can use any font, if the manual method of applying the text was chosen, its artistic value increases;
- sandblasting technique: the method is expensive and does not allow preserving the epitaph for a long period;
- photoceramics: the sign with the inscription has average characteristics, lasts quite a long time, looks attractive, but over time the letters fade;
- stickers: the most affordable option, but they do not last long, and the aesthetic qualities are also weak.
Putting an inscription on the monument
What gravestone inscriptions for your son should you choose?
Considering all of the above, relatives will have a difficult time at the selection stage, since many criteria need to be taken into account. Options that are most often considered:
- poetry;
- prose;
- prayers.
It is important to sincerely compose the text so that it makes you think about the deceased. This is one of the functions of such an inscription on a gravestone. Thanks to the epitaph, descendants will remember the deceased as a good person.
Acceptance and awareness
The next two stages - three to four months and six months - are characterized by mood swings and depressive states, a feeling of apathy. Acute feelings are lived through, and it is during these periods that the fact of death is accepted. During these periods, you may experience:
- sudden mood changes;
- deterioration of health: the causes are more often somatic;
- constant internal sadness, sadness, fatigue.
It is very important not to allow yourself to get stuck in a negative emotional or mental state. The remedy for this period lies in a simple action: by helping others, you relieve your pain. Work, charitable activities for the benefit of other people, will allow you not to plunge deeply into your grief.
Question answer
Who is this man who writes epitaphs?
Expert opinion
Lyubov Belyakova
Writer, author of publications in the media, specialist in psychological support, studies issues of the “afterlife,” philosophy, and religious movements.
The inscriptions on the gravestone are written by poets and writers. But such a service will be expensive - 1-2 thousand rubles. for text 2-3 short lines long. You can consider more affordable options:
- private advertisements - epitaphs are written by amateurs who have no experience in composing poetry, but it is still possible to get a worthwhile text, the result depends on who does the work, so you need to contact proven writers - through reviews;
- funeral agencies: employees of funeral homes also do the work of compiling epitaphs, but they usually do not write them themselves, but collect them from standard texts, taking templates as a basis, so the result can be somewhat abstract and universal.
Who can order an epitaph?
Expert opinion
Lyubov Belyakova
Writer, author of publications in the media, specialist in psychological support, studies issues of the “afterlife,” philosophy, and religious movements.
The inscription on the gravestone is optional. You can omit it and use only your last name, first name, date of birth and death. This means that anyone can order an epitaph, but more often this is done by the person in charge - the person who organizes the funeral. If for various reasons he does not have such an opportunity, the task of decorating the tombstone can be performed by someone else: a relative, a ritual agent of a funeral home with whom an agreement has been concluded. To order an inscription on a gravestone, additional permission or a power of attorney is not required, as in other cases (for example, when organizing a burial, receiving documents after the death of a person).
What would be a fitting epitaph for a newborn son?
Expert opinion
Lyubov Belyakova
Writer, author of publications in the media, specialist in psychological support, studies issues of the “afterlife,” philosophy, and religious movements.
When a child dies, it does not matter at what age it happened. The death of a newborn is no less a tragedy than the death of an adult son. In both cases, you can use text written according to the same rules, but taking into account age. Most often, the epitaph for a newborn is a softer text containing many epithets, since young parents often cannot give vent to their unspent tenderness.
