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- 06-09-2018
- Author: Mysekret Team
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When a person passes away, it always comes as a shock to his loved ones, even if the death was expected due to age or illness. It is difficult to cope and survive this. In the Orthodox religion, there are many customs and rituals that make it possible to honor the deceased on his last journey. Of primary importance is the organization of burial, memorial rites, installation of a monument at the grave, etc. But since ancient times, the Christian religion has identified the most important way of remembering the deceased as prayer in his honor.
Prayer service
During church services, you should regularly ask the Lord for worthy last days. Preparing for this process takes a lot of time.
In this regard, Orthodox Christians invite a clergyman in advance, for example, during serious illnesses or injuries.
There are also cases when prayer speech was pronounced in the wards of the sick, which returned them to earthly life. When leaving a baptized person, it is possible to use the prayers necessary for this occasion, which will be of great benefit.
On the day of agony, the priest performs certain rituals. First of all, he absolves sins and at the same time conducts a general confession. He also conducts the sacrament of Communion and the sacrament of Unction. The last ritual is necessary for a dying person, because with its help the soul is cleansed, his sins during earthly life are forgiven.
Previously, the last ritual was performed only near the deceased, but today the situation has changed. It is held in an Orthodox church during Lent for all those who wish it.
Prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased - where did this tradition come from and why is it needed?
Prayer after the death of a person is a long-standing part of any tradition, no matter Christian or pagan.
They are called differently and take completely different forms, but the fact remains. After the death of a person, he is seen off on his journey to the other side with a certain, established chant, memorial service, or other form of religious ritual. Because in every tradition, regardless of religion, there is a practice of seeing off a person.
Prayers for the repose facilitate a person’s transition from one world to another.
Why? What is the reason? Humanity's beliefs differ in many ways. But they all agreed that the human soul, burdened with sins, will hardly be able to get into a better world. But everyone has relatives and people who love him. And the desire to make such a journey easier for a loved one is quite natural.
This is why there are prayers for the repose of the soul. After all, they are pronounced with ardent compassion, trying to help the deceased. Higher powers, seeing such zeal on the part of relatives and friends, understand that if he is loved so much, then the extent of sins can be moderated. It is unlikely that anyone will suffer for a bad person.
So the existence of such rituals is quite understandable, both logically and emotionally. Everyone wants to help their relatives, whether alive or dead. Moreover, by and large, the deceased himself no longer needs either a coffin or a monument. He's already dead, he doesn't care. This is if we talk about the body. But the soul is another matter. It is for her that mourners offer prayers. And it’s worth knowing that such prayer can help the living too. In such a way that it will help them tune in to a spiritual mood. To stand, so to speak, on the same line of communication with Heaven. Think about how many sins have accumulated in everyone’s soul. And think about this topic - how many people will mourn at your own funeral?
Prayer reading
At the moment when the soul leaves his bodily shell, according to Christians, a person passes into the spiritual world. At this moment, the deceased needs a prayer service. It makes no difference the place of burial or the coffin. At this moment, peace of mind of a person is important.
It is worth noting that the prayer service 9 days after death differs from other prayer requests.
Church ministers advise reading the Sequence before the priest comes. Number of readings – once. Then they begin to read the Psalter, which they read throughout the night. It is quite difficult for inexperienced Christians to master this psalm.
After this, you need to order a magpie, a non-strewn Psalter. Clergymen advise visiting a temple or church and donating a certain amount of money. Then, order a funeral service. It is important to remember a number of conditions, subject to which church commemoration is performed:
- the person must be baptized;
- The cause of death is also important; the obligatory condition is that death does not result from suicide;
- faith, it is important that he was not a blasphemer and did not renounce the Lord during his life.
Rules for holding funerals for 9 days after death
The funeral, held on the ninth day after the death of a loved one, is a very important rite in Orthodoxy, thanks to which you can help the deceased pass on to another world, and his relatives accept the loss and come to terms with it.
On the ninth day, it is customary to order a prayer service in the Orthodox Church, after which a wake is held, attended by people who knew the deceased closely. Such prayer helps the soul to go through hellish trials and, having been cleansed, appear at the Heavenly Court.
There is no special invitation to the funeral dinner; only those who truly grieve for the deceased and want to share the grief with his relatives gather there.
However, in order to avoid confusion, it is worth informing in advance about the place and time of the wake, which begins and ends, according to tradition, with a prayer to the Lord.
Features of the funeral dinner:
- The lunch that is prepared for a funeral differs from ceremonial and festive feasts. During this ritual there are no songs, laughter or jokes, as such behavior looks inappropriate. Also, many Orthodox Christians refuse alcoholic beverages and do not put them on the table during dinner, because alcohol can lead to improper behavior of those gathered. The Church recommends limiting yourself in this case to non-alcoholic drinks - juices, water, fruit drinks.
- After the prayer has been said, each of those present at the wake puts kutya on their plate, which is specially prepared for this occasion and consecrated in the temple. If for some reason it was not possible to consecrate the kutya in the church, it is enough to sprinkle the dish three times with holy water, which is usually kept in the home of every believer after the feast of the Epiphany.
- During the funeral dinner, those gathered do not talk about the bad deeds or sins of the deceased; on the contrary, they remember only the good aspects of the deceased. It is customary to distribute the remaining food after a funeral to the poor and disadvantaged.
- Another rule concerns the clothes in which it is customary to come to a funeral. As for black scarves for women, on the ninth day only relatives of the deceased wear them; other girls cover their heads during prayer with scarves and scarves of neutral shades, the main thing is that they are not bright and provocative. Men, on the contrary, bare their heads while saying prayer.
Powerful Prayers
You can highlight certain texts that have quite a lot of power. A 9-day prayer is often used, which is as follows:
Prayer for a widow
“Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I run to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer brought to You with tears.
You, Lord, Master of all, have blessed me to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was Your good and wise will that you would take this servant of Yours away from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend.
Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. Just as you once accepted two mites for a widow, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word, or in deed, or in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not deliver him to eternal torment, but according to Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit them with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life.
I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive all his sins and place him in the heavenly abodes that You have prepared for those who love Cha. For even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit is Orthodox even until your last breath of confession; His faith, even in Thee, is imputed to him instead of works: for there is no man who will live and not sin.
You are One besides sin, and Your truth is truth forever. I believe, Lord, and I confess that You have heard my prayer and have not turned Your face away from me. Seeing a widow weeping green, you were merciful, and you brought her son to the grave, carrying her to the grave, and you raised her up: so, having compassion, calm down my sorrow.
For Thou didst open to Thy servant Theophilus, who went to Thee, the doors of Thy mercy and forgave him his sins through the prayers of Thy holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: here and I pray to Thee, accept my prayer for Thy servant, and bring him in to eternal life. For You are our hope, You are God, to have mercy and to save, and to You we send glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen!"
Prayer for children for deceased parents
“Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I run to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer brought to You with tears.
You, Lord, Master of all, have blessed me to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was Your good and wise will that you would take this servant of Yours away from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend.
Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. Just as you once accepted two mites for a widow, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word, or in deed, or in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not deliver him to eternal torment, but according to Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit them with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life.
I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive all his sins and place him in the heavenly abodes that You have prepared for those who love Cha. For even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit is Orthodox even until your last breath of confession; His faith, even in Thee, is imputed to him instead of works: for there is no man who will live and not sin.
You are One besides sin, and Your truth is truth forever. I believe, Lord, and I confess that You have heard my prayer and have not turned Your face away from me. Seeing a widow weeping green, you were merciful, and you brought her son to the grave, carrying her to the grave, and you raised her up: so, having compassion, calm down my sorrow.
For Thou didst open to Thy servant Theophilus, who went to Thee, the doors of Thy mercy and forgave him his sins through the prayers of Thy holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: here and I pray to Thee, accept my prayer for Thy servant, and bring him in to eternal life. For You are our hope, You are God, to have mercy and to save, and to You we send glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen!"
Last way
In order to say goodbye to the deceased with dignity, you should respectfully and responsibly treat all the procedures accompanying this sad event. This applies to ablution and dressing. Cremation is not accepted in the Orthodox faith.
Washing symbolizes the end of one life and the beginning of a new one; at this time the soul is cleansed of sins. The deceased is dressed in new clothes, which means entering a new world.
The 9th and 40th days after a person’s death are of great importance. At this time, relatives and friends gather for a memorial meal. At this time, prayer lines are said. You can order a memorial service, invite your relatives, or read the secular rite of the liturgy yourself.
Video on the topic: Why are the dead remembered on the 9th day
Funeral dinner
Search for cafes for funeral services , restaurants with banquet halls for funeral meals and kitchens with funeral packages delivered to your home.
Most people spend the wake on the 9th day at home, although funeral cafes also offer small halls and reasonable prices. Both priests and psychologists object to alcohol at funerals, but practice and folk tradition are still stronger.
Seating at the table: man-woman, man-woman , so that the guests' attention does not go to private discussions . It is necessary to select and cover the devices, leaving free space where the deceased could be symbolically present.
What is included in the funeral lunch? Menu for the funeral table: kutia consecrated by the priest , pancakes, pies, jelly or compote. In large cities, local take-out kitchens offer ready-made funeral kits.
Read more: “Funeral Table”
conclusions
When seeing off a person on his last journey, one must adhere to certain rules. It is necessary to mentally repeat the prayer words after the priest. In the absence of a clergyman, you can read the psalm yourself.
It is generally accepted that on the ninth day the soul of the deceased appears before the image of the Lord.
Before this, she walks through the heavenly abodes. On the fortieth day, a private trial takes place. At this time, the deceased needs support in the form of strong prayer. In addition, spiritual conversion helps to calm down and strengthen from a difficult loss.
Rules of conduct at the cemetery
After holding a memorial service in the church before lunch, people go to the cemetery where the deceased is buried, taking flowers with them. A lamp is lit at the grave and the prayer “Our Father” is said. Several people say good words about the deceased, the rest silently remember the deceased. You cannot conduct abstract or small conversations at this time, or talk loudly to each other.
The clergy do not recommend arranging a funeral meal near the grave, much less drinking alcoholic beverages in the cemetery, as this can harm the soul of the deceased. When leaving the cemetery, be sure to extinguish the lamp so that it does not cause a fire.
Why is it important to read dua for the dead?
Deceased parents and relatives need the living to read dua for them. The earthly journey is over, the deceased goes to the afterlife with the burden of his sinful deeds. Through prayers from the Koran for the deceased, you can convey to Allah a request to forgive the deceased for his misdeeds and to grant rewards for good deeds.
Duas read by relatives contribute to the remission of sins of the deceased and ease his fate in the other world. The beginning of the journey is considered to be the placement of the body of the deceased in the grave. The soul is separated from the physical shell, but the dead person feels, sees, rejoices, and is sad. Supporting loved ones for the soul of the deceased through reading duas and surahs is a ray of light.
The Messenger of Allah Abu Dawud said that all the affairs of the deceased cease. The exceptions are continuous alms, knowledge gained by people that is useful for society, and the prayers of children for their parents.
Dua for the dead is a “lifeline” that separates you from suffering and torment in the grave. If the deceased led a righteous life, prayer will help elevate the soul in the face of Allah.
Parents and children
Children should ask how to pray for deceased parents. Religion entrusts them with the obligation to pray for the deceased older generation. There are quite a lot of prayers. Some are specifically for children making a request for their departed parents.
There are also those in which the supplicant asks for all Christians who died in Orthodoxy. The texts ask to remember the one who passed away from life, the one who served the Lord all his life. During the ascension of the invocation, it is necessary to bow to the divine essence.
Parents must be mentioned by name in places in the prayer text intended for their insertion. Here they ask you to remember all your “relatives in the flesh.” By offering such a prayer, they pray to higher powers to give pleasure to the deceased, to grant endless life. Asking for their deceased parents, children beg to have mercy on them, appealing to God as a Lover of Mankind. Three times they ask the Lord to forgive the sins of those who have passed into another world and to give him hope of resurrection. Three times we ask for eternal memory to all those who died in the Orthodox faith.
Asking the Lord to grant eternal life and pleasure to their deceased parents, children at the same time pray for the satisfaction of their sorrows. The priest, explaining how to pray for deceased parents, will definitely talk about the need for correct appeal to divine powers.
Prayer is offered to Jesus, who comforts those who cry, protects the orphans, and gives refuge to those who are immersed in grief. Offering prayers, they appeal to divine mercy, pointing to the virtues of children as a reason to have mercy on their parents. When asking the divine powers to grant happiness and tranquility in the afterlife, children necessarily say that God is the Father for everyone, and all people are his children, which means that he must understand especially well why the offspring pray so much for a bright future for their mothers and father. When praying, one addresses higher powers as “Merciful Lord.” Be sure to include in the text the words that God is the only one on whom petitioners can rely, hoping to beg for happiness for the deceased.
How to say goodbye to a loved one with dignity
According to Christian traditions, the body of the deceased must also be treated with respect - washed and ritualized. Cremation is not accepted in Orthodoxy - the reasons for this can be seen in the Gospel stories, where you can repeatedly see how believers treated the bodies of the dead. Ablution, for example, is nothing more than a symbol of a future life with God, when the soul is cleansed of all sins. New clothes symbolize that the soul is entering a new reality, because this is a big holiday for believers.
Prayer for the newly deceased
Other funeral rites and traditions are also full of deep meaning.
- The arms crossed on the chest are a symbol of the Cross on which the Lord was crucified. Christians also crucify their sins, passions and desires that are displeasing to God. Saints who had a presentiment of their death themselves folded their hands in a similar way.
- An icon is placed in the hands of the deceased. This indicates that the deceased was a Christian and he gave his soul to Christ.
- The custom of holding lit candles during a funeral service means that a person has made the journey from a sinful state to an enlightened state of soul.
It is necessary to distinguish between truly Christian and pagan traditions, from which there is no benefit to the deceased. For example, there is no need to eat or drink in a cemetery, much less pour vodka on the grave, or put unnecessary objects into the coffin. There is also no need to “feed” the deceased - food left near the grave only attracts looters who can desecrate the place of eternal rest.
