100 examples of condolences on the occasion of death in your own words

How to express condolences in your own words?

Sympathy and Empathy Condolence
is a form of expressing sympathy regarding a death. Sincere condolences today include not only the format of a personal, personal appeal, but also written messages via SMS, WhatsApp, Telegram or email . Funeral condolence cards look like a personal message on the recipient’s smartphone. Add a few sincere words from the heart!

short words of condolences in the obituary and in the funeral speech at the wake of the 40th day.

When words of condolences are spoken or sent on the day of the funeral or after the burial, you can add briefly:

To the atheist: “May the earth rest in peace!”
To the believer: “The kingdom of heaven!”
Universal: “My condolences!” , "My condolences!"

If you have the opportunity to help (organizationally, financially), then your words of condolences can be concluded with a similar phrase:

“You will probably need help these days. Count on me!

What is a memory page?

How to write a condolence

In just a few years, everything has changed. Previously, it was believed that condolences should only be expressed in person or by telephone. Lockdowns during the pandemic and the established habit of sending SMS and WhatsApp messages also affected the culture of condolences. Many past tips and recommendations have been devalued.

Whether it’s condolences from a team about the death of a work colleague , or words of sympathy for a friend or girlfriend , there is a universal technique for how to compose a text of condolences.

Formula for written condolences:

Acknowledgment of loss: “It is infinitely difficult to lose such a reliable person”
The text of the condolence itself (choose from 100 examples below).
Condolence signature , for example: “We will remember forever!”

"My condolences!" in your own words

How to write: “Please accept my condolences!” in your own words?

Acknowledge the loss. Here you can express solidarity, for example: “We are very sad to learn about your loss.” - “I sincerely sympathize and deeply condole!” - "Accept my condolences!"
Remember well. What character traits did your loved one have? - “Your mother was an amazing person and lived a decent life.” - “Your mother loved being a mother. You children were the most important thing in her life.” “He was a fantastic teacher and the students loved and respected him.”
Honor the memory . more examples>>— “Colleagues and friends are sad about your loss and sympathize with your pain. Please accept our sincere condolences!” - “The best way to honor His/Her memory is to remember and live, trying to smile at what happened.” “I don’t know where people go, but I know where they stay. He/she is in our hearts!”

Condolences sincerely

To say the right words of condolences during a meeting or telephone conversation , read the examples first! Some phrases suit the occasion, some expressions you will remember. In a conversation, the right words will come on their own if you sympathize sincerely .

Here ritual phrases are appropriate. Verbal condolences can be concluded with the words: “May the earth rest in peace!” or “Eternal memory!”

Grief is not the time to be original and show off. But an individual and very personal appeal will add sincerity to your words. Remember: most likely, you are not the first person to express sympathy to the grieving person. Address yourself modestly.

Empathy implies a willingness to help. Put yourself in the shoes of the deceased's family and friends and think about what exactly you could do to make preparations for the funeral easier . Maybe to meet or see off someone, find a hall for a funeral, call the list or send out invitations... Even if your help is not needed now, sincere suggestions will be appreciated . Consider a funeral gift!

Examples of condolences

Referring to samples and examples is the right decision. After all, we rarely express sympathy for the death of a loved one, and knowledge of mourning etiquette is not part of our daily routine. The experiences of a variety of people are expressed in examples, most of which will not apply to you. But you don't have to send all 100 condolences.

Choose what suits you and compose a text that suits your occasion.

Brief words of condolences

I am shocked by this sad news. It's hard to accept. I share your pain of loss...
My heart is broken by yesterday's news. I worry with you and remember ___ with the warmest words! It's hard to accept the loss of ___! Everlasting memory!
The news of ___'s death is a terrible blow! It hurts to even think that we won't see him/her again. Please accept my and my husband's condolences for your loss!
Until now, the news of ___'s death seems like a ridiculous mistake! It's impossible to comprehend this! Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss!
Friend, my condolences! It hurts to even think about it, it’s hard to talk about. I sympathize with your pain! Everlasting memory ___!
It's hard to put into words how much ___ and I feel for your loss ___! A golden man, of which there are few! We will always remember him/her!
I'm sorry for your loss!
“This is an incredible, catastrophic loss. The loss of a real person, an idol, an exemplary family man and a citizen of his country.”
We sympathize with your loss! The news of ___'s death shocked our entire family. We remember and will remember ___ as a most worthy person. Please accept our sincere condolences!
It's small consolation, but know that we are with you in the grief of your loss ___ and our hearts go out to your entire family! Everlasting memory!
“Words cannot express all the pain and sadness. Like a bad dream. Eternal peace to your soul, our dear and beloved Zhanna!
My sympathy and condolences!
An unfathomable loss! We all mourn the loss of ___, but of course it’s even harder for you! We sincerely sympathize and will remember you all our lives! We would like to provide any help you need at this moment. Count on us!
Sad... I respect and remember ___ and am truly sorry for your loss! The least I can do today is to help in some way. At least I have four empty seats in the car.
I/WE lost him!

Condolences on the death of mother and grandmother

✒ How to write an obituary for your mother?
Publication
is free , within 24 hours.

I was stunned by this terrible news. For me, ___ is a hospitable hostess, a kind woman, but for you... The loss of your mother... I sympathize with you so much and cry with you!
We are very... very upset beyond words! It’s hard when you lose loved ones, but the death of a mother is a grief for which there is no cure. Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss!
___ was a model of delicacy and tact. Her memory will be as endless as her kindness to all of us. The passing of a mother is an incomparable grief. Please accept my deepest condolences!
A grief incomparable to anything! And I have no words to ease your pain. But I know that she would not like to see your despair. Be strong! Tell me, what could I take on these days?
We are happy that we knew ___. Her kind disposition and generosity surprised us all, and that is how she will be remembered! It is difficult to express our grief in words - it is too great. Let the kindest memories and bright memories of her be at least a small consolation!
The news of ___'s departure came as a shock to us. We can only guess what a blow her departure was for you. At such moments we feel abandoned, but remember that you have friends who loved and appreciated your mother. Count on our help!
Words cannot heal a terrible wound in the heart. But bright memories of ___, how honestly and honorably she lived her life, will always be stronger than death. In the bright memory of her, we are with you forever!
They say they love their grandchildren even more than their children. We felt this love of our grandmother to the fullest. This love will warm us all our lives, and we will pass on some of its warmth to our children and grandchildren...
Losing loved ones is very difficult... And the loss of a mother is the loss of a part of yourself... Mom will always be missed, but may the memory of her and the warmth of a mother always be with you!
Words cannot heal this wound of loss. But the bright memory of ___, who lived her life honestly and with dignity, will be stronger than death. We are with you in eternal memory of her!
Her whole life was spent in countless labors and worries. We will always remember her as such a warm-hearted and soulful woman!
Without parents, without mother, there is no one between us and the grave. May wisdom and perseverance help you get through these most difficult days. Hold on!
The paragon of virtue has passed away from ___! But she will remain a guiding star for all of us who remember, love and honor her.
It is ___ that can be dedicated to kind words: “She whose actions and deeds came from the soul, from the heart.” May she rest in peace!
The life she lived has a name: “Virtue.” ___ is a source of life, faith and love for loving children and grandchildren. The Kingdom of heaven!
How much we didn’t tell her during her lifetime!
Friend, please accept my sincere condolences! What a man! ___, just as she lived modestly and quietly, she left humbly, as if a candle had gone out.
___ involved us in good deeds, and thanks to her we became better people. For us, ___ will forever remain a model of mercy and tact. We are happy that we knew her.
Your mother was a smart and bright person... Many, like me, will feel that the world has become poorer without her.

More examples of condolences about the death of a mother

Condolences on the death of husband, father, grandfather

✒ How to write an obituary for your father?
Publication
is free , within 24 hours.
Read also: Deadly sins according to the Bible - what they are and how many there are, how to atone for them

We are deeply saddened by the news of your father's death. He was a fair and strong man, a loyal and sensitive friend. We knew him well and loved him like a brother.
Our family mourns with you. The loss of such reliable support in life is irreparable. But remember that we would be honored to help you any minute you need it.
My condolences! The death of a beloved husband is the loss of oneself. Hold on, friend! These are the most difficult days! We mourn together with your grief, we are close...
Today everyone who knew ___ mourns with you. This tragedy does not leave anyone close to us indifferent. I will never forget my comrade and consider it my duty to ___ to support you on any occasion, should you contact me.
I'm so sorry that ___ and I had disagreements at one time. But I always appreciated and respected him as a person. I apologize for my moments of pride and offer you my help. Today and always.
Thanks to your statements about his [qualities or good deeds], it seems to me that I have always known him. I sympathize with you about the death of such a loved one and a soul so close to you! Rest in peace…
I am truly sorry for the loss of your dad. This is a very sad and sad time for you. But good memories are what will help you survive this loss. Your father lived a long and colorful life and achieved success and respect in it. We also join in the words of friends’ grief and memories of ___.
I sincerely sympathize with you... What a person, what a personality! He deserves more words than can be said right now. In the memories of ___, he is our teacher of justice and mentor in life. Eternal memory to him!
Without a father, without parents, there is no one between us and the grave. But ___ set an example of courage, perseverance and wisdom. And I'm sure that he wouldn't want you to grieve like that right now. Be strong! I sincerely sympathize with you.
Your shock at the onset of loneliness is a severe shock. But you have the strength to overcome grief and continue what he did not manage to do. We are nearby, and we will help with everything - contact us! It is our duty to remember ___!
We mourn with you in this difficult moment! ___ is the kindest man, free of silver, lived for his neighbors. We sympathize with your loss and join you in the kindest and brightest memories of your husband.
We're sorry for your loss! We sympathize - the loss is irreparable! Intelligence, iron will, honesty and justice... - we are lucky to work with such a friend and colleague! We would like to ask him for forgiveness for so many things, but it’s too late... Eternal memory to a mighty man!
Mom, we mourn and cry with you! Our sincere gratitude from children and grandchildren and warm memories of a good father and kind grandfather! Our memory of ___ will be eternal!
Blessed are those whose memory will be as bright as ___. We will remember and love him forever. Be strong! ___ it would be easier if he knew you could handle it all.
My condolences! Recognition, respect, honor, and... eternal memory!
They say about such open-hearted people: “How much of ours went with you! How much of yours remains with us! We will remember ___ forever and pray for him!

More examples of condolences for the death of a father or husband

About the death of a friend, loved one or loved one

✒ How to write an obituary for a colleague?
How to write a letter of condolence to the family and friends of a deceased colleague .
Publication
is free , within 24 hours.

Accept my condolences! It has never been more expensive or closer, and probably never will be. But in yours and in our hearts he will remain a young, strong, full of life man. Everlasting memory! Hold on!
It is difficult to find the right words in this difficult moment. I mourn with you! Small consolation will be that not everyone has had the opportunity to experience such love as yours. But may ___ remain alive in your memory, full of strength and love! Everlasting memory!
There is such wisdom: “It’s bad if there is no one to take care of you. It’s even worse if there’s no one to take care of you.” I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be so sad. Let's ask his mother what we can do to help her now.
My condolences to you! Through life hand in hand, but you have suffered this bitter loss. It is necessary, it is necessary to find the strength to survive these most difficult moments and difficult days. In our memory he will remain ___.
It is very bitter to lose your loved ones and relatives, but it is doubly bitter when young, beautiful, strong people leave us. May God rest his soul!
Friend, I wish I could find words to somehow ease your pain, but it’s hard to imagine if there are such words on earth at all. Bright and eternal memory!
I mourn with you in this difficult moment. It’s scary to even imagine that half of you has left. But for the sake of the children, for the sake of loved ones, we need to get through these sorrowful days. Invisibly, he will always be there - in the soul and in our eternal memory of this bright man.
Love will not die, and the memory of it will always illuminate our hearts!
… this too shall pass …
For all of us, he will remain an example of love of life. And may his love for life illuminate the emptiness and grief of loss and help you survive the time of farewell. We mourn with you in difficult times and will remember ___ forever!
The past cannot be returned, but the bright memory of this love will remain with you for the rest of your life. Be strong!
Be strong! With the loss of your brother, you must become a support for your parents twice. May God help you get through these difficult moments! Happy memory to a bright man!
There are such mournful words: “A loved one does not die, but simply ceases to be around.” In your memory, in your soul, your love will be eternal! We also remember ___ with a kind word.

Condolences to an Orthodox Christian

All of the above is appropriate in expressing support in difficult times of loss for both the believer and the secular person. An Orthodox Christian can add a ritual phrase to words of consolation, turn to prayer, or quote from the Bible:

God is merciful!
God bless you!
Everyone is alive for God!
This man was blameless, just and God-fearing, and shunned evil!
Lord, rest with the Saints!
Death destroys the body, but saves the soul.
God! Receive the spirit of your servant in peace!
Only in death, the mournful hour, does the soul gain freedom.
God takes a mortal through life before turning him to the light.
The righteous will certainly live, says the Lord!
Her/(his) heart trusted in the Lord!
Immortal soul, immortal deeds.
May the Lord show mercy and truth to him/her!
Righteous deeds are not forgotten!
Most Holy Theotokos, protect him (her) with your protection!
The days of our lives are not numbered by us.
Everything returns to normal.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God!
Blessed peace to your ashes!
Kingdom of heaven and eternal peace!
Kingdom of heaven and eternal memory!
And those who have done good will find the resurrection of life.
Rest in the Kingdom of Heaven.
And on earth she smiled like an angel: what is there in heaven?

Ritual phrases are appropriate both at wakes after a funeral, and at wakes for 9 and 40 days. Condolences in a funeral speech at a wake may include a well-known biblical saying.

Among Muslims, the etiquette of condolences is characterized by a fatalistic attitude towards death and acceptance of loss. Requirements for rituals, clothing, behavior, symbols and gestures are determined more by the customs of the country, region and even a specific community.

Psychology of condolences

Doctor of psychology Mika Estrada in Psychology Today magazine gives some tips on how to help someone grieving the death of a loved one. She begins with a quote:

To “listen” to someone else’s soul to help it open up can be just about the greatest service a person will ever do to another person.
Douglas Steer (1986)

Advice from psychologists

Don’t tell him/her how to feel (“don’t be sad, “think about the future”…). The spiritual paradox of empathy is about overcoming your own desire to “fix” or change the way the grieving person feels . Grief is a normal, healthy reaction to loss.
“Just as life and death are two sides of the same coin, so are love and grief. Let it be. There is magic in your presence, acceptance and witness to someone else's grief. Give it to me!”
Listen. Grief is individual, and it is better to listen carefully to the feelings of the grieving person rather than trying to “say the right thing.” Ask gentle, open-ended questions and wait patiently for answers.
The magic of touch is healing. When we hold another person's hand, our breathing slows, our cortisol levels drop, and a feeling of security comes.
Provide practical support. Help with your experience, time and actions to solve the pressing problems of the current moment. Calling a taxi, ordering bouquets of flowers or snacks, assistance in organizing an event, etc.

The psychology of perception of words and signs of condolences embodies the idea:

“Today it is natural for you to feel what you feel. I'm near".

Legal and financial problems

Death affects the economic interests of heirs , immediate family members claiming the property of the deceased , creditors and employers .

When expressing condolences to a loved one of the deceased, you cannot financial and legal issues in the same letter, message or phrase . Put things aside and allow the family to carry out the farewell ritual with dignity .

What not to say to someone who is grieving

We weren't born knowing how to express empathy. And fortunately, we rarely have to practice this skill. It is all the more important to understand exactly how you can unintentionally cause pain with your words . Grief help experts warn against the following mistakes.

Don't focus on YOUR feelings.
Avoid ideas: “but”, “at least”, “at least”.
You cannot rely on your beliefs that the mourner does not share.
Don't rush, give your friend time to get over their grief.

For more information about what you should not say when expressing condolences , and how to offer your help, read:

Mistakes in Expressing Sympathy

How to competently present words of sympathy and support a grieving person?

Don't hold back your emotions. When you come to the funeral, talk about your feelings. In this case, it is better to say a few warm words coming from the heart than to speak a long memorized speech.
You can express condolences not only in verbal form. There are situations when any speech is unnecessary. At such moments, it is better to simply go up and hug the grieving person. This will shorten the distance and help the loved ones of the deceased understand that they are not alone in their grief.
Don't hesitate to offer help. A person experiencing a loss is often in a state of shock and is not always able to carry out everyday tasks in an organized manner. In such a situation, you should not limit yourself only to words of grief. You can share organizational issues, financial expenses or provide moral support with relatives.
Remember all the positive moments. In order to find words of consolation, sometimes it is enough to talk about what connected you with the person who has gone to another world. Did you skate together as a child? Did you write a term paper? Have you worked on a complex project? Talk about it, and with your warm memories you can bring joy to people experiencing loss.

Condolences in the obituary text

It may happen that an employee of the organization where the deceased worked will contact you with a request to write a condolence message about the death of a colleague from the team . Or you yourself decide to say a few words in the obituary. Read about the citation guidelines and be prepared to briefly describe your views on this death. Here are some examples:

[Name Last Name] was distinguished by selfless service to his favorite work, dedication to his profession and a high sense of public duty. A wise mentor, a true master and creator, he devoted himself to the art of classical music, generously sharing his talent and inspiration with others.
We deeply sympathize with the family and friends of our friend and colleague. The bright memory of [Name Last Name] will forever remain in our hearts.
Condolences to the family from the [organization] team

Mom was not born in her era—she was too beautiful for our time—in body and soul.
Daughter [Name]

His views on key architectural issues and events in the city were often radically at odds with the mainstream, which did not bother him at all. He had a rare quality - to have and not hide his own opinion.
It's a pity…
[Name of friend and colleague]

What should you not say to a bereaved person?

There are phrases that are inappropriate to use when expressing condolences. They can be misinterpreted and cause offense.

When speaking words of support to the loved ones of the deceased, you should not:

Trying to console by describing the future. People experiencing loss are unable to think about it. At such a moment, the future does not exist for them.
Look for those to blame. Even if a person’s death was due to someone else’s fault, there is no point in talking about it. Such a reminder will make the loved ones of the deceased even more painful.
Ask not to cry. A person experiencing the pain of loss must calm his soul and mourn the deceased.

When choosing words of condolences and grief, express your feelings sincerely and do not use cliched phrases. Listen to your heart. Perhaps the grieving person does not need words at all, and the presence of an understanding person and a hug are enough. If you feel like you are ready to help, don't hesitate to say so.

Ask your question

Traits of a good person

An emphasis on the positive qualities of a person’s personality is adopted in the obituary, and in the funeral speech, and in condolences . Highlight one or two characteristics that distinguished the deceased and use them in expressing condolences. Here is a list of character traits inherent in a “good person”:

Altruism, Nobility, Politeness, Genius, Humanity, Discipline, Trust, Spirituality, Vitality, Shyness, Idealism, Initiative, Intelligence, Sincerity, Sociability, Wisdom, Reliability, Integrity, Optimism, Responsibility, Search for novelty (innovation), Decency , Insight, Professionalism, Punctuality, Decisiveness, Self-criticism, Dedication, Restraint, Modesty, Courage, Firmness of conviction, Tolerance (tolerance), Hard work, Self-confidence, Charisma, Composure, Honesty, Sensitivity, Sense of humor, Empathy (empathy).
Positive character traits of a person