Not a single wedding ceremony takes place without wedding candles. The candles that burn in the hands of the newlyweds are not a simple flame dancing on the tip of a wax stick. They are the embodiment of the pure and mutual love of the couple, their faith, their prayers and requests addressed to God. But what is the further fate of wedding candles after they have fulfilled their main role? About this and much more in more detail.
What to do with wedding icons?
All newlyweds want their union to last until old age. However, in real life, alas, the situation is somewhat different, and the number of people wishing to get a divorce is almost greater than the number of newly married couples.
What to do with a towel after a divorce?
Another option is to give this bright attribute to a not too superstitious lady who is getting married. After all, it is known that a wedding ceremony is a very expensive affair for any budget. So why throw away or uselessly store something that may be useful to others?
Signs and traditions
A number of traditions and beliefs are associated with the wedding towel.
During the wedding, they make sure that no one except the newlyweds steps on the wedding towel and takes away a piece of the newlyweds’ happiness.
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The pattern applied to the towel is of particular significance. The patterns have certain symbolism:
- eight-pointed star - a sign of the Sun and God;
- wavy lines - the infinity of life;
- the vine symbolizes fertility and prosperity;
- flower buds - procreation;
- viburnum and mallow are associated with the image of the bride, these patterns denote beauty and chastity;
- a pair of doves is a symbol of marriage, love and fidelity.
Interesting! The snow-white wedding towel symbolizes the cloud on which a couple of spouses rises to God for marriage in heaven. At this moment, the newlyweds seem to be torn away from the earthly world and find themselves in the Kingdom of Heaven for blessings from the Almighty.
When do they light it?
Wedding candles are endowed with the power of the prayer that the priest read during the ceremony of heavenly marriage. That is why it is appropriate to light a candle when difficulties begin in the family. For example, a baby is sick or a marriage is about to break up. At this moment, you should ask for help from your spiritual patrons; only bright and kind requests should be made. Yes, you say - let them hear you.
Also, some priests recommend lighting them in honor of some significant event for the family. For example, the birth of a baby or getting rid of a serious illness. To do this, candles must be lit in front of the icons with which the parents blessed the spouses for a long and happy marriage, and be sure to read a prayer. How many candles you light (one or two) does not matter. After all, the young are now one. They are members of the same family and the candles belong to both of them.
How many candles do you need for a wedding?
Two people are getting married and each person gets one candle.
The newlyweds enter the church along with witnesses. Then the bride and groom stand on the towel, and the friends remain standing behind them. The priest hands the wedding couple a candle and lights them. The candles burn until the end of the ceremony, then the Holy Father extinguishes them and hands them over to the witnesses. It is recommended to do this with your fingers rather than blowing it out.
All you need to do after the wedding with a towel and candles is to keep them and not pass them on to other people.
Expert opinion
Priests advise all those who were married in church and then divorced not to pay special attention to wedding paraphernalia. There will be nothing wrong with candles, icons, towels and other things remaining in your home. Not only do they not harm, but they also help. Blessed objects cannot carry negative energy. And if you ever feel heavy in your soul or something unpleasant happens, you can always receive powerful and strong blessed help. However, if all the wedding paraphernalia evokes negative emotions in you, you can deal with it as follows.
Wedding ring
It is that hidden amulet that belongs exclusively to you. That is why it is not recommended to give the ring to anyone to try on (this may negatively affect your family life).
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If a divorce ensues, you can’t throw away or sell the ring either. The most reasonable solution would be to melt down the ring, making it into another product or simply changing the design. Keep it for yourself as a decoration or give it to your daughter; it will not bring any negativity. There is another option - donate it to the temple.
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Wedding dress
There are no special regulations in this regard. The wedding dress can be sold, rented, or donated to the church (it will be given to someone who needs it). You can also simply give the dress as a gift or alter it to your daughter, making it a beautiful outfit for a ball or New Year's holidays. There will be nothing wrong if you leave it hanging in the closet or even get married in it next time. Experts assure that there is no danger in this. However, if you are in doubt, it is still better not to do this.
How to choose wedding dresses?
The wedding ceremony takes from 45 minutes to an hour, so you need to choose candles that are long, but not too wide so that they are comfortable to hold.
It would be good if the candles had special handles and saucers. Then the dripping wax will not burn your hands or ruin your clothes. Fabric lace napkins, handkerchiefs and potholders are also used.
The traditional color of candles is white. Golden or pink shades are allowed. Products can be either simple, without decoration, or decorated. For decoration, chains, glass beads, lace, ribbons, polymer clay, fabric, etc. are used. Decorative elements should be paired, for example, two hearts, two rings.
You can purchase ready-made products at a church shop, or you can make them yourself from wax or paraffin. Items made with your own hands or purchased outside of the church must first be consecrated. It is better not to buy them secondhand, as there is a high risk of receiving low-quality products.
They do not take other people's wedding attributes for the sacrament , even if the people who offer them have lived their whole lives in a happy marriage. Moreover, the priests say that there is nothing wrong with this, but the candles are a sacrifice in favor of the church, so it is better to buy them in the temple where the ceremony will be held.
How to treat candles correctly
Speaking about how to store wedding candles at home and how to use them, it is important to say a few words about the correct attitude towards such candles and all others too. By themselves, neither wedding candles nor any other candles can help a person. The Lord God, the Mother of God and the saints help believers through their sincere prayers. At the same time, people’s lives themselves should be as consistent as possible with the commandments and Orthodox faith. But the attitude towards candles, and other attributes of faith, as something magical that fulfills any desires is absolutely non-Christian, but magical, pagan. And Orthodox Christians should not have such an attitude towards the attributes of faith, but should have a reverent, respectful attitude.
If you are interested in wedding candles
,wax
or
paraffin
, then you will always find them in a wide range in the Letopis online store.
Symbolism
When the newlyweds stand in front of the altar, the priest blesses the newlyweds three times. They sign themselves with the sign of the cross. After this, the priest hands them a lighted candle.
The attributes will remain lit throughout the ritual. They are a spiritual symbol of the sacrament and mean God's grace, confirm the spiritual chastity of those getting married and their sincere desire to get married. Fire symbolizes the sincerity and fervor of prayer for a prosperous family life.
Wedding candles after divorce
Church ministers do not advise inventing anything regarding these wedding attributes, namely, about their mystical power. All these are just superstitions and distorted ideas about the true meaning of these wedding attributes. Therefore, you should not place your hopes on them that they will be able to return their spouse to the family if there is no reciprocity between them.
Many people wonder what to do with such candles if the destinies of the spouses diverged and they had to get a divorce. The most important thing is not to give them to anyone. They can be burned in front of the icons or taken to the temple and lit there. The last idea is very sound, where they were born should disappear into the centuries, and you can also ask God for the health of each of the spouses for the future. Let people go with good thoughts!
What to do with champagne after divorce?
This wedding attribute is much more worldly than icons or wedding rings. Therefore, you can deal with a bottle of fizzy drink intended for drinking in honor of a wedding anniversary or the birth of a child as your intuition suggests.
If you still have bad feelings towards your former lover, you can find a sparsely populated place and wholeheartedly break a glass bottle on a hard surface . Just don’t forget to clean up the shards afterwards!
In what cases can they be lit?
It is recommended to light wedding candles after the wedding:
- On our wedding anniversary.
- In difficult life moments to make a decision.
- Before the upcoming separation.
- When children get sick.
- In order to prevent divorce.
When wedding candles are used frequently after a wedding, there is a high risk of damage. Then they can be glued with melted wax over the broken surface, secured with adhesive tape, or used each part separately.
Candles are taken out of a secluded place for a short time, so that by the light of their fire one can turn to God for help or with gratitude.
Publications
Hieromonk Seraphim (Kalugin), Astrakhan, answers readers' questions.
Hieromonk Seraphim (Kalugin), Astrakhan, answers readers' questions.
I have a question for you. How you can influence your husband with the help of wedding candles or prayers (and what prayers). My husband and I have been married for 6 years, we are married, our families are very religious people. I was his faithful wife, a year ago he cheated on me, I forgave him, but the problem is that he filed for divorce (threatening me) because he wants to leave me for that girl. But I love him very much and I want to live only with him, I see from him that he also hesitates, we have been struggling for a year now. I suspect that she somehow bewitched him, he loved me very much, and now he leaves and cries. This means that there is still something left for me... How can I help our falling apart family if I really want to save it, no matter what. Tell me, please.
Hello, Victoria. Indeed, in these damned days it is becoming increasingly difficult to keep a family together. The corruption and decline of morals reach such a point that I cannot stop crimes against the closest, dearest and dearest people.
It is impossible to influence your husband with the help of wedding candles, because actions with objects consecrated during the sacrament of the Wedding (candles, footstool, other objects) is a witchcraft practice, blasphemous and not acceptable for an Orthodox Christian.
Wedding candles are a family shrine. Pious custom involves careful storage of wedding candles as memories of the Sacrament of Marriage. Sometimes they are placed in the icon case, which they received as a blessing from their parents for marriage. Wedding candles can be lit briefly during times of separation or marital discord. You just need to remember that their kindling has power only under the condition of fervent prayer to God for your lost loved ones.
We must also remember that a person errs not always because of his malice or hardness of heart, but because of the loss of moral guidelines, which are based on the Gospel commandments. Then he can become an easy prey for evil people, a mockery for the devil.
The Divine Commandment says that only selfless love leads to happiness: “live in love, as Christ loved us... fornication and all uncleanness and covetousness should not even be mentioned among you... Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her "(Eph. 5.2, 3, 25). We just need to believe that there is a solid wall that protects us from everyday troubles and the eternal destruction of the soul, that the yoke of Christ’s commandments is good and easy.
One rather smart person recently told me: “I have a wife, a child, I love them very much, I take care of them, but I am lost. This is a pain that cannot be compared with physical pain. If I were a believer, how easy it would be for me to resolve this situation.”
It is customary to pray to the Holy Martyrs Gury, Samon and Aviv to protect the family from all misfortunes. They are known among Orthodox Christians as the patrons of marriage, marriage, and a happy family; they are prayed to “if a husband innocently hates his wife.”
And you, pious wives and children, save your souls with patience, because only “he who endures to the end will be saved” (Matthew 24:13).
Hieromonk Seraphim (Kalugin), Astrakhan. 03/18/2005
Use of materials is possible only with the written permission of the publisher.
Church divorce after a wedding: is it possible for married spouses to divorce?
The sacrament of wedding is a serious, responsible step, one of the church rites that unites spouses in life and after death. You should prepare for it spiritually and physically, because this is a step towards family life until death separates the spouses.
However, recently, some couples thoughtlessly decide to get married , without realizing the seriousness of this action. Such relationships are often short-lived. Unfortunately, marriages often break up.
Divorce statistics in Russia are very disappointing - more than half of registered relationships end in divorce.
How to get a divorce if the spouses were married?
In practice, debunking does not exist. The spouses are divorced in the registry office, according to the laws, and live separately. If one of the spouses wants to get married again, then he needs to submit a petition to the bishop for permission to remarry.
This procedure is called “debunking,” although in fact it is receiving a blessing for a subsequent marriage
Thus, the answer to the question is it possible to get married a second time after a divorce - yes, it is possible, with the permission of the church. You can get married up to three times . But the reasons for divorce, according to church statutes, must be significant. An excuse like “they don’t get along” will not work.
The Church has an extremely negative attitude towards any divorce, considering it a tragedy and a kind of death of the family. Especially if it's a wedding. But in any case, if family life turns out to be impossible for one or both spouses, then divorce is inevitable.
The consequences of such a difficult decision can be severe, but this is a matter of conscience for each spouse. The Church does not impose any contempt or punishment on divorced people - this is everyone’s personal matter , and they will answer to themselves and to God. An important question that people planning to divorce should ask themselves is whether it is possible to save the family or is it impossible.
How does church divorce happen?
Since there is no such thing as a church divorce after a wedding, there is only the concept of obtaining permission to remarry, this issue should be considered from the point of view of receiving a blessing.
Reasons for the Church to invalidate a marriage :
- betrayal of one of the spouses;
- change of religion of one of the spouses;
- entering into another marriage;
- abortion of a wife without the consent of her husband in the absence of medical indications for termination of pregnancy;
- sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS, syphilis and so on;
- an attempt to encroach on the life of the other spouse;
- disappearance of one spouse for more than 3 years;
- inability to have children due to self-mutilation;
- severe form of drug addiction, alcoholism;
- if the spouse is sentenced to imprisonment for serious crimes.
The reason must be proven by relevant document or other evidence or certificate.
Spouses must be divorced at the registry office before obtaining permission
To apply, you need to contact the local Diocesan administration, where they will tell you how to make a request correctly and in whose name.
The petition must be accompanied by a divorce certificate and other documents confirming the reason for the divorce. If the bishop considers the grounds for divorce to be compelling, he will give permission for a second wedding.
However, if the spouse, through whose fault the divorce occurred - infidelity, entering into another marriage, and so on - wants to get married again, then he will most likely be denied such a petition, since he is guilty of the collapse of his previous family.
You need to understand that blessings for a wedding are not given just like that .
If you have any doubts about what is the best way to proceed, you can always consult your confessor or the same priest who performed the wedding ceremony. If this is not possible, you can go to a nearby temple and talk to the priest. Most likely, he will answer all questions and help with advice on what to do in the current difficult situation.
What to do with wedding candles after divorce?
The candles that the newlyweds hold in their hands during the wedding are called wedding candles. After the sacrament is completed, they are brought home and kept along with the icons with which the newlyweds were blessed for marriage.
Wedding candles are not a shrine, so no special rituals need to be performed
Candles can be burned during prayer or taken to church. It is not forbidden to leave them and store them in a box or next to the icons. You should not throw them away or give them to someone else. Although the signs and superstitions associated with candles are mostly fiction, it is worth finding a better use for them.
A towel (towel) can also be donated to the temple if it unpleasantly reminds you of a broken marriage.
Towel left after divorce
What to do with wedding icons after divorce?
Wedding icons are paired icons depicting the Most Holy Theotokos and Jesus Christ, which are used to bless spouses during the sacrament of wedding.
Icons can be donated to the temple, indicating that they are wedding icons. But icons do not depend in any way on when and under what circumstances they were acquired. Nothing prevents you from praying in front of them and lighting candles.
If wedding icons do not evoke any sad associations, then let them remain in the house, along with other icons, if any.
As for the wedding ring and dress, again, you can keep them or donate the ring to the temple , alter the dress or give it away, or maybe even throw it away. A dress, a ring - these are just things, memorable, but not possessing any mystical power. They do not in any way affect a person's life after a divorce.
You can donate a ring to the temple
Divorce is always a tragic event, even if it frees the spouses from an unhappy family life.
Before legalizing a second relationship, you need to weigh everything and seriously approach the issue of a second wedding .
Despite the fact that the church allows you to get married more than once, you should not use this permission lightly, especially if this is not the first wedding for the newlyweds.
What do you need for a wedding in a church?
Firstly, the readiness of the newlyweds. Organizing this sacred ceremony is possible only with the voluntary consent of the bride and groom .
The second condition is belonging to the Orthodox Church. It is impossible to marry the unbaptized, and it is pointless. If one of the newlyweds is of a different faith, then the wedding may be permitted provided that the children born in the marriage are baptized in the Orthodox Church.
The third condition is the presence of a marriage registration document . The Russian Orthodox Church does not allow people to get married before the wedding, fearing that one of the newlyweds may already be legally married? But after the wedding, even if you have been married for 15 years, you can get married at any time.
Organizing a celebration is a troublesome task, involving a lot of conventions. For example, it may be difficult to choose a date: weddings are prohibited on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, as well as during Lent. Therefore, if you are not married, but definitely decided to get married, you must first decide on the wedding date, and only then apply for marriage registration; and if you are already married, then choose the wedding day according to the church calendar.
Living spouses in a civil marriage without registration should know that if they want to get married, the priest will require documents confirming the official registration of the marriage at the registry office. No matter how long you live together, before the consecration of the union in the church, you must have your passports stamped.
Both newlyweds and married couples need to take into account some rules regarding appearance: chastity in clothes and makeup is harmoniously combined with the solemn church interior and a touching, spiritual ceremony. Pectoral crosses are required, and the bride's head must be covered.
The list of prohibitions on weddings is small:
- Marriage between close relatives is not allowed.
- The sacrament is allowed to be performed only three times. A fourth church marriage is prohibited.
- A couple cannot be married if one of the newlyweds is married to another person.
- Weddings with godparents are prohibited.
- Weddings of persons over 80 years of age or with a large age difference are possible only with the permission of the bishop.
- Church marriage between persons who are in a civil relationship is prohibited. For example, a father cannot marry his adopted daughter.
