Wedding in the Orthodox Church. How is the wedding ceremony carried out in the Orthodox Church? The essence and sacrament of an Orthodox wedding

Features of the sacrament of church wedding in the Orthodox Church. Choosing a date, outfit, witnesses.

God brings people together. It is in his power to compile the whole picture of our fate, “chance” meetings, trials and sorrows.
Before the Bolsheviks came into power, our ancestors respected church canons and were very sensitive to the sacrament of marriage. There was no question of any cohabitation or civil union; all this was considered a shame and was not welcomed in society
All the Holy Scriptures say that man was created by God, that is, He is our father and progenitor, who made all people akin to each other
This means that without his will, blessing and kind parting words, starting an important business means dooming it to failure in advance. This is probably why our ancestors revered their older family members so much and did not marry without their permission and approval.

The meaning of a wedding in the Orthodox Church?

young people hold candles during the wedding

Even if you consider yourself not a religious person and don’t go to churches, you still feel that a wedding is a serious step for spouses
The priests say that at the moment of their wedding, a young couple lets Jesus Christ into their family. He protects them from adversity and disagreement, strengthens it if both spouses are faithful to each other
In the face of the Holy Icons and God, people cement their union, merge together, turn into a single whole
The young couple thus receives the blessing of the Almighty and undertakes to fulfill his commandments
Those who have undergone the sacrament of wedding note that they felt spirituality during the ceremony and even greater closeness with their loved one

Traditions and rituals

All traditions associated with the sacrament of weddings are designed to protect newlyweds from evil spirits that could disrupt the concluded union. Thus, the towel on which the newlyweds made their marriage vows should be kept at home and not given to anyone else, because it symbolizes the life path of a young family.

At the end of the ritual, it is customary to bring a symbolic gift to the temple in the form of fresh bread wrapped in a new linen towel. After the ceremony, it is advisable to store wedding candles next to the towel and light them only when absolutely necessary.

A wedding ring falling on the floor during the ceremony is considered a bad omen. As a rule, such an event promises a quick divorce or the premature death of one of the spouses.

After the ceremony, it is advisable to store wedding candles next to the towel

Wedding rules

beautiful couple getting married

You should inform the priest about your intention in advance. Consult with him on all issues that concern the minds of the young couple
The wedding date should not be chosen during fasting
Christians are married if they were baptized in the church and are not in another marriage. Between representatives of different faiths, for example, Muslim, Buddhist, a wedding in the Orthodox Church is impossible
Clothing for this sacrament is chosen to be elegant and light in color. For women, long sleeves, closed shoulders, back or the use of a cape covering them are desirable
Before the ceremony, a betrothal takes place in the church, when the newlyweds are given a period of time to confirm their intention to link their destinies.
Photo and video filming of the wedding ceremony in the church is allowed, the main thing is to discuss this point in advance with the priest
The wedding is held for those who have reached the age of 18 and registered the marriage in the registry office
It is permissible to carry out the wedding ceremony of a person three times in his entire life if he is widowed or his marriage was dissolved with the consent of the church
The priest will refuse to administer the sacrament to close relatives
On the eve of the wedding date, the young couple observes fasting and confesses to the priest.

How to sign up?

The question of how to sign up for a wedding is not entirely correct. In fact, it is not as simple as it seems. In this case, many churches have their own rules. In order to conduct the wedding ceremony, you will have to go through an interview with the priest. During this interview, the clergyman will learn about the life and acquaintance of the young people and evaluate their intentions. In addition to the interview, the newlyweds will have a large list of preparatory rituals, which the priest will also tell you about in detail.

In addition to the interview, you will have to make a charitable donation to the temple. As a rule, each temple has a fixed amount that it is advisable to pay; it can range from 1500 to 5000, depending on the size of the church and the demand for its services.

How to prepare for a wedding in the Orthodox Church?

serious faces of the newlyweds during the wedding
Before starting the Holy Sacrament for marriage, you should consider and fulfill several points:

choose the right date. The church has its own schedule and life, therefore weddings are not held during fasting and holidays
decide on the temple where the wedding will take place
negotiate with the priest who will conduct the service. This could be your confessor from another church/cathedral
prepare a set for the wedding. By the way, you can buy it ready-made in a church shop
rings. Some time ago, a young couple brought one gold and one silver ring. The first symbolizes the sun and male energy, the second symbolizes the moon, female energy. And the ritual itself was considered the union of two creative principles into one for the birth of a new life
choose your outfit carefully. Usually this is the dress that was worn on the day the marriage was registered at the registry office. But many couples come to the desire to get married consciously later. Then a different outfit is chosen. For women, long-sleeve, floor-length dresses and a scarf on the head are optimal.
be sure to come to confession the day before and take communion, and observe the required duration of fasting

Stages of the ceremony

The sacrament of marriage can be divided into four parts:

Engagement.
Wedding.
Resolution of the crowns.
Thanksgiving prayer.

In addition, every wedding is preceded by the Divine Liturgy, at which the bride and groom must be present in order to properly tune in to the upcoming event, feel its solemn atmosphere and pray for the strength to build a strong family. If the future spouses have not done this before, after the service they will also need to confess and receive communion.

How to choose the best days for a wedding?

choose the wedding date according to the calendar
As noted above, a church or temple has its own daily routine, in which there are days only for prayers and divine services of monks. For example, during fasting, great holidays known in the world, the wedding ceremony is not held.

Each temple has its own schedule for the whole year in advance. You can get acquainted with it when you come to the priest to agree on a date.

An approximate wedding calendar for 2016 is presented here, and for 2022 - here.

What does the Sacrament of Marriage mean in church language?

What do you need to understand before going to the Sacrament of Wedding?

This is, precisely, a quiet and modest family holiday, and not a wedding; without it, the family is not considered complete according to church customs

By this action you legitimize your marriage there, “in heaven,” so it’s worth getting acquainted with these laws. To undergo the Sacrament of Wedding, the mutual consent of both parties is necessary; you need to consciously approach this very important event in the life of the family. The couple receives a blessing through the priest from the Lord God himself and for “the entire subsequent life” both on Earth and in Eternity, and becomes a full-fledged family according to all church canons. The couple makes an unbreakable vow to be together forever: in sorrow and in joyful events, to raise children together, and to earn money together for the well-being of the family. Absolutely everything is divided into two. You need to prepare spiritually very well for the Sacrament of Marriage

Before the wedding, you must come to the Temple and talk with the priest. He will talk about special preparations and at the same time check the couple’s readiness for the wedding. And even if he initially refuses the wedding, you shouldn’t be upset. This is a very good reason to think about it once again and start preparing. The priest always helps to choose the day for the Betrothal and the Sacrament of Marriage. The Sacrament of Marriage is never planned during four fasts: Great, Nativity, Dormition and Apostolic. Also, the wedding ceremony is not performed during Easter week, Cheese week, from Christmas until the feast of Epiphany (Epiphany).

There are still exceptions when a wedding CANNOT be performed:

On Saturday, before church and temple holidays the day before, because you cannot rejoice in advance, you need to remain in prayer.
Weddings are also not celebrated on Tuesday and Thursday, because these days come before Lent on Wednesday and Friday.
And also on the eve and on the very feast of the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord.

However, only the bishop can make any exceptions on a special occasion.

What is needed for a wedding in the Orthodox Church?

icons for wedding
Before the wedding ceremony, a young couple should:

come for an interview with the priest, discuss the date of the sacrament with him
follow all his instructions regarding the post
agree on the day the young couple will come for confession and communion
talk about the engagement - will it be held several months before the wedding or will it precede the last one on the same day

On the day of the sacred sacrament, the young couple prepares:

icons of the Savior and the Virgin Mary, perhaps they are passed down as a relic in one of the families from parents to children
pectoral crosses
rings
special wedding candles. They can be purchased locally at the church store
towel under your feet
towel or cloth for tying hands
handkerchiefs for holding candles and crowns, 4 pieces in total
bread, wine, sweets

Many churches also require two witnesses who will hold the crowns over the wedding couple and help in the process of performing the sacrament. These people are selected from among baptized Christians who regularly attend church services.

Preparing a set of attributes

A sacred ceremony is impossible without the required props. Typically, wedding attributes are sold in ready-made sets, but they can also be purchased individually.

Icons and crosses

Holy images are traditionally given to newlyweds by their parents: an icon of Jesus Christ - to the groom, an icon of the Virgin Mary - to the bride. The couple is blessed by the clergyman with these shrines during the ceremony, and later they are installed at home in a place of honor to protect and protect the family.

Any church sacrament is impossible if the participant is not baptized. Therefore, during a wedding, guests and newlyweds should wear crosses on their bodies.

Rings

According to church rules, spouses' wedding jewelry is made of different materials: the husband's is made of gold, the wife's is made of silver. The ritual involves a triple exchange of rings, and therefore the bride is left with the groom’s ring as a symbol of his protection, and the groom is left with the bride’s ring, symbolizing submission.

Wedding bands can contain symbolic engraving, gemstones, prayers, dates, first or last names. Wedding rings are also allowed.

The couple's wedding jewelry is made from different materials

Candles and wine

Candles for a wedding ceremony must be blessed. It is best to buy them in a church, but ordinary ones are also suitable, which will then be blessed by the priest. To prevent hot wax from dripping onto your hands, you should take new, snow-white handkerchiefs (plain or lace).

The ceremony involves the spouses drinking wine from a common cup, which symbolizes the joy of married life. To do this, take Cahors or any other red fortified wine.

Crowns

These attributes are usually given out in the church during the sacrament, so there is no need to buy them specially. The crowns that are held over the heads of the newlyweds have several meanings:

the young are the kings of their lives, ripe to create their own family;
the groom represents Jesus Christ, and the bride represents the church, which unites itself with him in marriage;
Along with happiness, marriage brings inevitable difficulties that the spouses must overcome.

Crowns are usually given out in church during the sacrament

What kind of wedding rings are needed?

wedding rings in a box

More than 10 centuries ago, the tradition of betrothal on the eve of the wedding developed. Both of these sacraments were performed only before the face of God in church
Closer to our time, registration of marriage in the registry office began to be considered betrothal. Some couples believe that this act is enough to create a new family, while others do not. They either, under the influence of fashion, pressure from parents, personal mutual desire, come to church to get married
According to church canons, wedding rings are different from engagement rings. The second is a symbol of the desire to reunite in the union of two people. Externally, they can be anything, including expensive options with precious stones
Wedding rings are more modest and simple jewelry. On their inner side, our ancestors carved prayers, and we carved the wedding date and the name of the spouse
Correctly chosen rings - gold for the husband, silver for the wife. The first personifies Jesus Christ and Divine power, the second - the Church, purity, loving service

The attitude of the church towards civil marriage

Young couples who have officially registered their union in the registry office have taken an important step that shows the seriousness of their intentions. This cannot be said about persons who live in a civil marriage that is not supported by any official documents.

The Church respects state laws and perceives life in an unregistered marriage as a sin. Such couples do not have the right to become godparents, because their lives are permeated with lack of spirituality and debauchery, which means they will not be able to carry out the proper spiritual and moral formation of a godson. And also, people living in an unregistered marriage are prohibited from receiving communion until they repent of their life guidelines and reconsider them.

Any excuses from young people that official marriage is a formality leads the clergyman to believe that young people take the decision to get married very lightly. Another argument that the young people, according to them, love each other very much, but have not yet saved up money for the wedding, also does not inspire confidence in the couple’s decision to hold the ceremony. In this case, the priest will definitely ask how the young people are going to raise their children and equip their home, if they cannot even save 350 rubles to hold an official ceremony in a non-ceremonial setting.

There are exceptions to the rules for performing a wedding ceremony after an official ceremony. But this is a serious matter, since it is considered not only by a specific clergyman, but also by the diocesan bishop on an individual basis. Only he can give such permission for a wedding without documents from the registry office.

There are three groups of reasons why exceptions are made in holding a wedding ceremony before the official one.

Both events will be held on the same day. If you show the priest a receipt from the registry office with the date and time of registration, he may allow you to get married first and then obtain an official marriage certificate from a government agency.
If there are reasons that threaten the health and life of one of the future spouses. Such reasons are considered to be serious operations and service in “hot spots”.
Church obedience and many years of regular presence at services of both newlyweds. In this case, the abbot can be convinced of the sincere attitude of the couple and take responsibility for their spiritual union.

Despite the fact that the church respects state laws, it is believed that without a wedding ceremony following the official ceremony, the union cannot be called complete.

How to choose a dress for a wedding in the Orthodox Church?

The correct wedding dress for the bride
Perhaps this is the most exciting and sensitive question for every bride. After all, she wants to be the most irresistible and beautiful on her wedding day.

What should be included in a bride's outfit:

dress or skirt below the knees
closed shoulders, chest, back. For open styles of wedding dresses, take a cape
the head is covered with a veil, scarf, hat

Find out more about the nuances of choosing a wedding dress here.

When can you get married?

The modern Orthodox Church holds wedding sacraments only on certain days, which those wishing to get married must discuss in advance with the clergyman of the chosen church.

In fact, the Russian wedding ceremony can take place on any days except:

days on which multi-day fasts occur
the week that falls before Lent (we are talking about Maslenitsa week)
the week falling before Easter
You cannot get married during the Christmas season: from Christmas to Epiphany
Saturday, Thursday and Tuesday are days when weddings are not held, even if there is no fasting
It is prohibited to get married the day before any church holidays and on the holidays themselves

In addition, on the chosen day for the wedding you still need to choose a time. Churches do not have weddings earlier than 14:00 and later than 17:00. A prerequisite for the wedding sacrament is a bright day. After all, after the ceremony, the clergyman will still have to conduct a service.

How is a wedding carried out in the Orthodox Church?

young couple before the wedding

The sacrament of the wedding begins with the engagement, if the young couple arrived at the church after the registry office. Liturgy is going on in the church all the time
The priest meets them at the entrance and leads them inside. In this case, the newlyweds are positioned like this - the man is on the right, the woman is on the left, and both are turned to face the altar
The deacon brings out the engagement rings on a tray, which were prepared in advance and lay on the altar
The priest makes the sign of the cross to the young couple with the help of lit wedding candles and hands them to them. This is a symbol of the meeting of two loving hearts who want to link their destinies together.
Next, the priest invites the newlyweds to put on the rings, reading special prayers and voicing their intention to get engaged. He makes the sign of the cross over each of the couple - first the man, then the woman, and he himself puts the rings on them. Afterwards, the bride and groom exchange rings as a sign of their readiness to share their joys and sorrows with each other
Then the young couple stands on a towel, which means their desire to have one destiny for two. They confirm this three times, answering the priest’s question, that they did not promise their heart to anyone else.
Prayers are read and the service continues. Everyone present in the church prays with the priest for the happiness of the young
Then the crowns are brought out and the priest first makes the sign of the cross over the young people and places them on their heads. The crown can be held above the bride by a witness due to her voluminous hairstyle
The priest ties the young people’s right hands with a towel and leads them around the lectern three times
Then the deacon brings wine in a cup, over which the priest reads prayers and offers the man and woman to drink three times in turn.
Having joined his right hands together and covered them with his stole, the priest again leads the young couple in a circle three times. Leads to the golden gate, where they take turns kissing the icons of the Savior and the Virgin Mary
At the end of the wedding, the priest gives a cross for kissing to the husband and wife and hands them the icons with which they were married. Newlyweds can hang them above their bed to maintain a constant connection with the Almighty

The first part of the sacrament is betrothal

It aims to instill in the newlyweds the importance of the sacrament of marriage, to evoke awe and reverence in their hearts for this event.

Blessing

Initially, the “new brides” are located in the vestibule - an extension in front of the entrance to the temple, which is usually separated from the temple itself by a wall with a doorway.
The groom stands on the right, the bride on the left, both turn to face the altar. Wedding rings are placed on the altar table in advance and are kept there during the liturgy. When the wedding ceremony begins, the deacon, following the priest, carries them out on a special tray.

The priest, depicting Jesus Christ at this moment, approaches the newlyweds (they, in turn, are equated to the primordial ancestors Adam and Eve, beginning a new and holy life in a pure marriage), holding two burning candles in his hands - a symbol of purity and chastity .

He blesses the groom three times and the bride three times, repeating: “In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit” (the young are baptized each time), hands them candles (or does not hand them over if one of those entering into marriage is getting married not the first time).

The blessing ends with a cross-shaped incense, which speaks of the invisible presence of the grace of the Holy Spirit at the sacrament .

Engagement

After the blessing, the priest leads the newlyweds to the center of the temple.
Taking the groom's ring , he repeats three times: “The servant of God (name) is engaged to the servant of God (name) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” each time making the sign of the cross over the groom’s head, and then puts the wedding ring on his ring finger right hand. By the way, we have already written on which hand representatives of various faiths wear rings on.

The priest performs the same actions with the bride’s ring , repeating three times: “The servant of God (name) is betrothed to the servant of God (name) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Exchange of rings

The newlyweds exchange their rings three times, thereby expressing agreement and unanimity and promising to give themselves to each other for life. The priest himself can change the rings. During the ceremony, he also turns to the Almighty several times in prayer, asking the Lord to bless the newlyweds and confirm the engagement.

Weddings in the Orthodox Church: signs

the newlyweds enter the middle of the temple for the wedding

Before the wedding ceremony, no one should see the face of the bride, not even the groom. A thick veil was used for this. Nowadays, the bride's face is covered with openwork or more transparent headlights/scarves
After the bride left for the wedding, the floors in the house where she lived were washed so that she would not return home and her family life would be happy
If during the sacrament of a wedding someone drops the crown, he must be widowed
During the ceremony, those getting married should not look into each other's eyes. This promises a short period of love and betrayal
According to signs, rings should be smooth, without stones or inscriptions, so that the life of the young people will be smooth and okay
If the wedding candles crackle loudly during the ceremony, the life of the young couple will be difficult

And finally - a few words about the wedding meal

A wedding, as stated above, is not a wedding. And the Church warns against possible indecent and irreverent behavior of all those present at the wedding after the sacrament.

Decent Christians dine modestly after a wedding, and do not dance in restaurants. Moreover, at the modest wedding feast there should not be any indecency or intemperance.

The site Colady.ru thanks you for your attention to the article - we hope that it was useful to you. Please share your feedback and tips with our readers!

Wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church: reviews

happy husband and wife after the wedding
Polina and Victor, young family

We got married a year after the wedding ceremony at the registry office. We came to this step consciously, regularly attended church services and communicated with our spiritual father. We received permission to film the ceremony. Surprisingly, while watching, we saw that at a certain point we became similar in appearance to each other. And in everyday life, many acute moments began to smooth out. We felt that the Higher Powers were supporting us and giving us inspiration to overcome all the twists and turns of fate.

Galina and Evgeniy, family with 10 years of experience

We got married immediately after the wedding ceremony at the registry office. It was more a tribute to fashion than our conscious decision. We went through a lot of difficulties and trials, we were on the verge of divorce three times. But they stayed together. We believe that God decided to bind us tightly together and helped us overcome all the challenges of fate. For this we are immensely grateful to him!

Required Attributes

Before conducting the ceremony, you should understand the list of necessary attributes.

Wedding rings

The most important attribute of a wedding is the wedding rings that people give to each other. When choosing rings, it is recommended to adhere to ancient traditions, according to which the products should be made of pure gold. This metal is very important in Orthodoxy, as it represents the sun.

However, now such traditions are rarely observed, and therefore people buy different rings. It all depends on the preferences of the young couple, as well as their financial capabilities.

Orthodox icons

Before the ceremony, two wedding icons are prepared:

Lord Almighty. For the ritual, they acquire this image, which depicts Christ. The icon recalls the divine essence of Jesus, who, like the Lord, participated in the creation of the world. The image gives the young family not only protection, but also peace of mind. Looking at this image, the newlyweds will remember their promises that they made at the time of the wedding.
Kazan Icon of the Mother of God. This is one of the most revered images in the Orthodox faith. Such an icon will protect the couple from illnesses and troubles, and will also strengthen their faith. They pray to her to strengthen the family and find family happiness.

White and pink towel

An important attribute of the ceremony is the wedding towel. During the procedure, young people become attracted to it. Today the ritual is not as strict as it used to be, since in past times people kneeled on the towel. Now you can stand on it and kneeling is not necessary.

When choosing a towel, pay attention to what is depicted on it. It is recommended to use towels with images of birds or rings

Also suitable for weddings are towels that depict geometric patterns or plants. You cannot use towels that have embroidery in the center.

Pectoral cross

People to be married must be baptized. Therefore, each of them must have a pectoral cross, which was given to them at baptism. If it is not there, the clergyman may refuse to perform the ceremony. Therefore, you need to find and prepare a pectoral cross in advance for the wedding procedure.

Wedding candles

For the ceremony, the couple will need to prepare special wedding candles. They should burn continuously throughout the entire procedure. This represents warmth and light for the future family. It is recommended to select candles that would be suitable for such a ceremony. Clergymen advise buying large and thick candles, as they burn longer than others. The average burning time of such products is 30-40 minutes.

Red wine

Cahors is considered an integral part of the solemn process. The bride and groom take turns drinking it from a common large bowl. This is church wine, which is most often used at the sacrament of communion. However, in addition to this, it is also used during the wedding of young couples. Wine is used in church ceremonies, as it symbolizes the blood of Christ. Cahors is drunk from a common cup, as it is considered a symbol of salvation and family unity. For the ritual, it is recommended to buy not fakes, but real Cahors, the strength of which should not be less than sixteen degrees.