A wedding is an important event in the life of every Christian family. It is rare when couples get married on their wedding day (in order to immediately “kill two birds with one stone”) - in most cases, couples still approach this issue thoughtfully, realizing the importance of this rite and experiencing a sincere and mutual desire to become a full-fledged family, according to church canons .
How does this ritual take place, and what do you need to know about it?
How to prepare for the sacrament of wedding correctly?
A wedding is not a wedding where they walk for 3 days, fall on their faces in a salad and hit each other with their faces according to tradition. A wedding is a sacrament through which a couple receives a blessing from the Lord to live their whole lives together in sorrow and joy, to be faithful to each other “until the grave”, to give birth and raise children.
Without a wedding, a marriage is considered “incomplete” by the Church. And preparation for such an important event, of course, must be appropriate. And we are not talking about organizational issues that are resolved in 1 day, but about spiritual preparation.
A couple who takes their wedding seriously will definitely take into account those requirements that some newlyweds forget about in pursuit of fashionable wedding photos. But spiritual preparation is an important part of a wedding, as the beginning of a new life for a couple - with a clean (in every sense) slate.
Preparation includes a 3-day fast, during which you need to prepare for the ceremony prayerfully, and also abstain from intimate relationships, animal food, bad thoughts, etc. In the morning before the wedding, the husband and wife confess and receive communion together.
Bridal clothes
There are practically no rules for the groom, except that the clothes must be clean and decent.
There are a number of requirements for the bride’s appearance.
- Shoes must be closed and stable. This is due to the fact that the ceremony takes a long time, and to prevent your feet from getting tired, your shoes should be comfortable.
- The veil should not be too long, and the dress should not be too fluffy, otherwise the bride becomes flammable - the fabric can easily catch fire from the flame of a candle, of which there will be many around.
- The hairstyle should not be voluminous, otherwise there will be big problems with putting on crowns
- You should not use bright makeup - the bride will have to kiss the icons, and they will deteriorate under the influence of lipsticks and products with which they will then have to be cleaned.
- The chest, arms and shoulders must be covered. If the dress cannot cope with this, you should use a cape.
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Betrothal - how is the wedding ceremony carried out in the Orthodox Church?
Betrothal is a kind of “introductory” part of the sacrament that precedes the wedding. It symbolizes the consummation of a church marriage in the face of the Lord and the consolidation of the mutual promises of a man and a woman.
- It is not for nothing that the engagement takes place immediately after the Divine Liturgy - the couple is shown the importance of the sacrament of marriage and the spiritual trepidation with which they should enter into marriage.
- Betrothal in the temple symbolizes the husband's acceptance of his wife from the Lord himself : the priest introduces the couple into the temple, and from that moment their life together, new and pure, begins in the face of God.
- The beginning of the ritual is incense : the priest blesses the husband and wife in turn 3 times with the words “In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” In response to the blessing, everyone makes the sign of the cross (approx. - crosses themselves), after which the priest hands them the already lit candles. This is a symbol of love, fiery and pure, which a husband and wife should now have for each other. In addition, candles are a symbol of the chastity of men and women, as well as God's grace.
- The cross-shaped incense symbolizes the presence of the grace of the Holy Spirit next to the couple.
- Next comes a prayer for the betrothed couple and for their salvation (souls) , for a blessing for the birth of children, for the fulfillment of those requests of the couple to God that relate to their salvation, for the blessing of the couple for every good deed. After which, everyone present, including the husband and wife, should bow their heads before God in anticipation of the blessing while the priest reads a prayer.
- After the prayer to Jesus Christ, the betrothal follows : the priest puts a ring on the groom, “betrothing the servant of God...” and making the sign of the cross 3 times. Next, he puts a ring on the bride, “betrothing the servant of God...” and making the sign of the cross three times. It is important to note that the rings (which the groom must give!) symbolize an eternal and indissoluble union at the wedding. The rings lie, until they are put on, on the right side of the holy throne, which symbolizes the power of consecration in the face of the Lord and his blessing.
- Now the bride and groom must exchange rings three times (note - in the word of the Holy Trinity): the groom puts his ring on the bride as a symbol of his love and willingness to help his wife until the end of his days. The bride puts her ring on the groom as a symbol of her love and readiness to accept his help until the end of her days.
- Next is the priest’s prayer for the Lord’s blessing and betrothal of this couple , and for sending them a Guardian Angel to guide them in their new and pure Christian life. The betrothal ceremony ends here.
Rings: which ones are needed and what they mean
There is still debate about what kind of rings are needed for a church wedding. Previously, the groom put a silver ring on his future wife's finger, but the bride put a gold ring on her groom's finger. Only smooth rings, without engravings or decorations, were accepted for wedding rings. Because the ring is a symbol of the endless love of a married couple, and the smoothness of this product meant that the newlyweds’ path through life would be as smooth as the surface of the rings. But sometimes people made engravings on the inside of the ring, this was only allowed if they engraved some words from a prayer to protect the marriage.
Today, young people put gold rings on each other’s fingers, sometimes with designs decorated with precious stones. Although if the ring is very elaborate, the priest may refuse to marry you. Therefore, try to adhere to the regulations. Simple wedding rings that you exchanged at the time of registration are perfect for a wedding.
The sacrament of a wedding - how does the ceremony take place?
The second part of the sacrament of marriage begins with the bride and groom entering the middle of the temple with candles in their hands, as if carrying the spiritual light of the sacrament. In front of them is a priest with a censer, which symbolizes the importance of following the path of the commandments and offering up their good deeds as incense to the Lord.
The choir welcomes the couple by singing Psalm 127.
- Next, the couple stands on a white towel spread out in front of the lectern : both, in the face of God and the Church, confirm their free will, as well as the absence in their past (note - on each side!) of promises of marriage with another person. The priest asks these traditional questions to the bride and groom in turn.
- Confirmation of the voluntary and inviolable desire to marry cements the natural marriage , which is now considered consummated. Only after this does the sacrament of marriage begin.
- The wedding ceremony begins with the declaration of the couple's participation in the Kingdom of God and three lengthy prayers - to Jesus Christ and to the Triune God. After which the priest signs (in turn) the bride and groom with a crown in the shape of a cross, “crowning the servant of God...”, and then “crowning the servant of God...”. The groom must kiss the image of the Savior on his crown, the bride must kiss the image of the Mother of God that adorns her crown.
- Now the most important moment of the wedding comes for the bride and groom wearing crowns , when with the words “Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor!” the priest, as a link between people and God, blesses the couple three times, reading a prayer three times.
- The blessing of marriage by the Church symbolizes the eternity of the new Christian union, its indissolubility.
- Afterwards there is a reading of the Epistle to the Ephesians by St. Apostle Paul , and then the Gospel of John about the blessing and sanctification of the marriage union. Then the priest pronounces a petition for the newlyweds and a prayer for peace in the new family, honesty of marriage, integrity of cohabitation and life together according to the commandments until old age.
- After “And grant us, O Master...” everyone reads the prayer “Our Father” (it should be learned in advance if you did not know it by heart before preparing for the wedding). This prayer on the lips of a married couple symbolizes the determination to do the will of the Lord on earth through their family, to be devoted and submissive to the Lord. As a sign of this, the husband and wife bow their heads under their crowns.
- They bring the “cup of fellowship” with Cahors , and the priest blesses it and serves it as a sign of joy, offering to drink wine three times, first to the head of the new family, and then to his wife. They drink wine in 3 tiny sips as a sign of their inseparable existence from now on.
- Now the priest must connect the right hands of the newlyweds, cover them with stole (note - a long ribbon on the priest’s neck) and place his palm on top, as a symbol of the husband receiving his wife from the Church itself, which in Christ has united these two forever.
- According to tradition, the couple is led around the lectern three times : on the first circle they sing “Isaiah, rejoice...”, on the second circle they sing the troparion “Holy Martyr,” and on the third they glorify Christ. This walk symbolizes the eternal procession that begins from this day for the couple - hand in hand, with a common cross (the hardships of life) for two.
- The couple's crowns are removed , and the priest welcomes the new Christian family with solemn words. Then he reads two prayers of petition, during which the husband and wife bow their heads, and after finishing they seal pure mutual love with a chaste kiss.
- Now, according to tradition, married spouses are led to the royal doors : here the head of the family must kiss the icon of the Savior, and his wife - the image of the Mother of God, after which they change places and again kiss the Images (only in reverse). Here they kiss the cross, which the priest offers, and receive from the minister of the Church 2 icons, which can now be kept as a family heirloom and the main amulets of the family, and passed on to future generations.
After the wedding, candles are kept in the icon case at home. And after the death of the last spouse, these candles (according to the old Russian custom) are placed in the coffin, both of them.
When not to get married
The sacrament of wedding takes place under strict church rules, according to which the temple will not give a blessing for the ceremony if:
- The groom is under eighteen years old, the bride sixteen;
- The future spouses are closely related;
- One of the young people has already been married three times;
- One of the spouses is not a Christian and does not plan to convert to Christianity;
- Baptized Christians declare not a desire to get married, but a desire to fulfill the request of their parents or other half;
- One of the young people is already married to someone; first you need to officially dissolve the previous relationship and only then ask for the priest’s blessing for a new union.
It is necessary to refrain from ceremonies on special church holidays:
- Lent;
- Cheese and Easter weeks;
- Days from the Nativity of Christ to Christmastide.
If you want to get married, you must sacredly respect church traditions. The Saturday that precedes the great church holidays and fasting days should be chosen for the wedding. Only the ruling bishop can make concessions and exceptions in special situations.
And finally - a few words about the wedding meal
A wedding, as stated above, is not a wedding. And the Church warns against possible indecent and irreverent behavior of all those present at the wedding after the sacrament.
Decent Christians dine modestly after a wedding, and do not dance in restaurants. Moreover, at the modest wedding feast there should not be any indecency or intemperance.
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Is it possible to wear a dress
The Orthodox Church allows wearing dresses in church. But this is an optional rule. During the wedding sacrament, the girl can be dressed in a dress or suit with a skirt. The cut of the outfit should be modest and not pretentious. The chest should be kept closed, or covered with a scarf or cape. The sleeves cover the entire arms, or at least the shoulders. The length of the outfit should not be above the knee. The color of the dress should be light. For a wedding for the first time, you should choose a white outfit, and if the ceremony is being held for the second time, then it is better to opt for pink.
Bride's wedding dress with veil
