What you need for a wedding in a church: rules and preparation

List of necessary items

Pectoral crosses
Rings
Wedding candles
Wedding icons
Rushnik
Shawls
Cahors
Marriage certificate
Dress and shoes

Each of these attributes requires special attention, so I will tell you about each of them in detail.

Pectoral crosses - an important wedding rule is that the bride and groom must be baptized, otherwise the priest will not perform the ritual.

Rings - according to ancient traditions, the groom’s ring was gold, representing the sun, while the bride’s ring was silver, as a symbol of warmth and light in the house. In the modern world, such a tradition is no longer mandatory and you can use both the same and different rings, it all depends on your personal preferences.

Wedding candles – during the entire ceremony, the couple should have wedding candles in their hands. Throughout the entire ceremony, they should burn and not go out, thereby personifying light and warmth for your family. Therefore, you need to pay attention to thick and large candles, because on average the ritual takes 30 minutes, or even more. For convenience, there are also candle stands to prevent wax from dripping onto your hands, creating discomfort.

Wedding icons - you need to buy two icons in advance and consecrate them from the priest. Usually the couple is crowned with images of the Savior and the Virgin Mary. After the ceremony, the icons remain with the newlyweds.

Towel – at the very beginning of the ceremony, the newlyweds must stand on the towel, which symbolizes the white sky. I want to warn you that it should not be with patterns or other decorations.

Handkerchiefs – If you decide not to use candle stands, you will need small handkerchiefs to avoid burning your hands with the hot wax during the ceremony. Witnesses will also need scarves to hold their crowns during the ceremony.

Cahors - church wine, is also an integral part of the process. During the ceremony, the bride and groom take turns drinking from the cup.

Marriage Certificate – Civil laws are important to the church, so a marriage certificate must be provided before the ceremony. An exception may be if the wedding ceremony is announced the next day after the ceremony.

Dress and shoes - there are no categorical rules here, the bride can wear a secular dress at the wedding, but it must meet certain standards, for example, a deep neckline should be covered with a cape or choose a more modest outfit. Shoes can also be chosen according to your taste, but I would like to remind you that the ceremony takes place while standing and for quite a long time, so you need to choose not only beautiful, but also the most comfortable shoes.

What does the Sacrament of Marriage mean in church language?

“A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife; and they will both become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24)

What do you need to understand before going to the Sacrament of Wedding?

This is, precisely, a quiet and modest family holiday, and not a wedding; without it, the family is not considered complete according to church customs. By this action you legitimize your marriage there, “in heaven,” so it’s worth getting acquainted with these laws.
To undergo the Sacrament of Wedding, the mutual consent of both parties is necessary; you need to consciously approach this very important event in the life of the family.
The couple receives a blessing through the priest from the Lord God himself and for “the entire subsequent life” both on Earth and in Eternity, and becomes a full-fledged family according to all church canons.
The couple makes an unbreakable vow to be together forever: in sorrow and in joyful events, to raise children together, and to earn money together for the well-being of the family. Absolutely everything is divided into two.
You need to prepare very well spiritually for the Sacrament of Marriage. Before the wedding, you must come to the Temple and talk with the priest. He will talk about special preparations and at the same time check the couple’s readiness for the wedding. And even if he initially refuses the wedding, you shouldn’t be upset. This is a very good reason to think about it once again and start preparing.
The priest always helps to choose the day for the Betrothal and the Sacrament of Marriage. The Sacrament of Marriage is never planned during four fasts: Great, Nativity, Dormition and Apostolic.
Also, the wedding ceremony is not performed during Easter week, Cheese week, from Christmas until the feast of Epiphany (Epiphany).

There are still exceptions when a wedding CANNOT be performed:

On Saturday, before church and temple holidays the day before, because you cannot rejoice in advance, you need to remain in prayer.
Weddings are also not celebrated on Tuesday and Thursday, because these days come before Lent on Wednesday and Friday.
And also on the eve and on the very feast of the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord.

However, only the bishop can make any exceptions on a special occasion.

Witnesses

One of the important decisions when preparing a wedding will be the choice of witnesses. There are no too categorical rules here, but there are still things worth paying attention to:

Naturally, the witnesses, like everyone who will be in the church at the time of the wedding, must be baptized and wear crosses on their bodies
An important feature that I would like to focus on is that by becoming witnesses, people acquire a kind of spiritual connection with each other, which is equivalent to family ties. Therefore, couples who later want to get married are undesirable as witnesses, since during the ceremony they will tie themselves with spiritual threads close to family ties.

Over whom is the sacrament performed?

Today, marriage is one of the seven sacraments of the Christian Church. It is done to Christians. The future husband and wife must certainly have the same Christian hope. And this, at first glance, obvious fact today acquires special significance and requires special attention. The question is very often asked: “Is it possible to get married in the Russian Orthodox Church? What to do if one of the spouses is also a Christian, but not an Old Believer.” Those entering into marriage should understand that a church sacrament can only be performed over two people professing true Orthodoxy, that is, over people who have been baptized according to the canons of the Fathers, leading a Christian lifestyle, having a spiritual father, regularly going to confession, that is, people living in the Church . And since only one Church can be true, weddings, as well as participation in other sacraments in any other denominations, including the Russian Orthodox Church, are not permissible.

And if one of the future spouses is not yet an Old Believer, then before entering into marriage it is necessary to first decide on the issue of accepting baptism or completing the already completed immersion with confirmation. The “second half” should also become a child of the Old Believer Church, and only then can the question of marriage arise. It is logical and correct if this is exactly the case, and not vice versa. A Christian Old Believer who consciously neglects his stay in the Church of Christ and voluntarily resorts to participating in the celebration of the sacraments in any other denomination that does not have prayerful communication with the Church, thus separates himself from the Church. Subsequently, if this Christian wishes to return to the Church, he is subject to rites in accordance with church canons.

Nowadays, there are many cases of “unmarried” and “mixed” marriages, when, due to lack of awareness, the cohabitation of two people, even once baptized in childhood, but who did not attach due importance to it, begins without a church blessing or after marriage in another denomination. If a Christian enters into cohabitation without a church blessing (with anyone), this is for him the sin of fornication, and this sin is healed according to the appropriate church rules. If an Old Believer Christian marries a person of a different faith according to the customs of someone else’s confession, this is for him a sin of falling away from the Church, the legality of such a marriage requires separate consideration. However, it is worth noting that the Church has a priority of preserving the already begun union of two people, but in every possible way calls both of them to a full church life: that is, to repentance and, if necessary, the churching of the “other half.”

There is also such a thing as a second marriage, when “for the sake of human weakness” two people who were widowed or received a church divorce enter into marriage. Such a family union is also carried out with the blessing of the church, while the spouses are certainly given penance. Rare, but still there are cases of third marriage, which is extremely undesirable. However, in order to somehow legitimize such a union and distinguish it from prodigal cohabitation, there is a special prayer for those entering into a third marriage. Of course, the divine service at the conclusion of such a marriage does not have the same solemnity as the wedding of those who are getting married for the first time.

In what cases can a wedding not be held?

The procedure is unacceptable among blood relatives (up to 4 generations);
Second, third and fourth weddings are not approved by the church, but permission for the ceremony can be obtained by proving that both spouses are not married to other people or are widowers;
Not acceptable for people of other faiths or atheists;
If the young ones have not yet been registered.

Here I would like to mention that pregnancy is not an obstacle to getting married; on the contrary, the church advocates that a child should be born to a family that is sanctified by the Lord.

How to take communion correctly

The sacrament of Communion comes after a minimum of 3 days of fasting, during which they fast and read special prayers. On the eve of communion, the newlyweds confess. Typically, clergy appoint communion on the wedding day. The communion procedure takes place on an empty stomach, therefore, starting from 12 at night, you cannot eat or drink.

In the morning, the newlyweds come to the service. Communion begins after reading the Lord's Prayer. You need to wait until the Royal Doors close, then, together with all the parishioners who want to receive communion, approach the altar.

After the priest brings out the Holy Gifts, reads two prayers, cross himself and go to the Chalice. To avoid accidentally touching the Chalice, keep your hands crossed on your chest, placing your right hand on top of your left. Approaching the Chalice, the communicant pronounces his name given at Baptism, opens his mouth wide, giving the priest the opportunity to put the Body and Blood of Christ into it. It is advisable to swallow them immediately. Then they kiss the edge of the Chalice and go to the table to take the prosphora and “warmth”.

Preparing for a wedding for those already married

As I already said above, the wedding takes place only after the state registration of the marriage, hence it follows that it does not matter whether the ceremony takes place the day after the painting in the registry office or after 20 years of marriage.

But in a situation where you have been married for a long time, you need to foresee possible problems for the wedding:

If the blessing of the parents was not received on time, the priest may refuse
A situation is possible when there are no unmarried people in your close circle who could be witnesses
By the way, a person should not be married again, this can also lead to the church refusing to hold the ceremony (but I want to note that in the modern world the church has become more loyal in these matters)

When planning a wedding, I strongly recommend that you take into account the tips and rules described earlier, then this exciting event will pass calmly and will bring only good emotions. But the main thing to remember is that this is not just a festive ritual, it is a big responsibility!

The difference between a church marriage and an official one

An official marriage can be concluded between a man and a woman, regardless of their citizenship, religion, previously registered marriages and current family status (this means the presence or absence of children, but there can only be one spouse).

Upon conclusion of an official marriage, the husband and wife receive a marriage certificate, and also, from a legal point of view, become a single social unit (this somewhat expands their legal powers according to the Constitution of the Russian Federation).

Church marriage is concluded only between representatives of the same religion. And each of them must be baptized. Same-sex marriages, polygamy - all this is unacceptable from a church point of view. How to hold a wedding if one of the spouses professes a different religion?

The first option is to accept a new faith and undergo baptism, the second is to contact priests of the highest rank.

Now the church is not so categorical in this matter and allows you to get married, for example, after a 3-month course in an Orthodox school (while maintaining your original religion). Each such case is considered by the clergy individually.

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Appearance and outfits of the newlyweds

Unlike a wedding banquet, where the newlyweds can choose stylized outfits and show their imagination, for a wedding ceremony there are certain rules regarding the appearance of the couple. Originally ancient traditions have been preserved here: the groom dressed in a classic dark suit and the future wife in a snow-white dress.

The future wife is not allowed to be in the temple with bare shoulders, neckline and uncovered head. An abundance of jewelry is also considered inappropriate. To keep your head covered, you can wear a veil or scarf. If your dress is too revealing to avoid having to change your clothes again, you can simply prepare a cape for the duration of the ceremony. Makeup should be natural and discreet. Avoid high heels. It is better to choose comfortable shoes, as the wedding can last several hours. And don’t forget your wedding rings, you must bring them with you.

We purchase the necessary things

While preparing for the wedding, newlyweds should acquire a set of things that will be needed during the ceremony:

Wedding candles.
Icon of the Savior
Icon of the Mother of God.
Four white, preferably cotton scarves for candles (possibly with embroidery).
Two clean white towels, on which, according to the rules, the newlyweds should stand.

You can purchase each item separately, or buy the entire set in advance at the church store.

Deciding on a priest

You may not be limited to the choice of priests offered by the temple in which you decided to hold the ceremony. Newlyweds are allowed to use the services of their own priest. The main thing is that the ceremony is performed by a clergyman without monastic vows.

To ensure that your wedding preparations are successful, discuss with your priest in advance all your questions regarding the ceremony. You may need to read special prayers, attend a service, or receive communion before the ceremony.