Condolences, words of sorrow and sympathy

Condolences on the occasion of death are an expression of involvement in the grief that has befallen people - the death of a loved one. At such moments, those closest to you simply need support and participation. They are expressed through words, spoken or written, and through actions, which is the most sincere form of empathy.

Verbal condolences - samples

I loved him/her (name). Sorry!
He meant a lot to me and to you, I mourn with you.
Let it be a consolation to us that he gave so much love and warmth. Let's pray for him.
There are no words to express your sorrow. She meant a lot in your life and mine. Never forget…
It is very difficult to lose such a dear person. I share your grief. How can I help you? You can always count on me.
I'm very sorry, please accept my condolences. If I can do something for you, I will be very glad. I would like to offer my help. I would be happy to help you...
Unfortunately, in this imperfect world we have to experience this. He was a bright man whom we loved. I will not leave you in your grief. You can count on me at any moment.
This tragedy affected everyone who knew her. Of course, it’s harder for you now than anyone else. I want to assure you that I will never leave you. And I will never forget her. Please let's walk this path together
Unfortunately, I only now realized how unworthy my bickering and quarrels with this bright and dear person were. Excuse me! I mourn with you.
This is a huge loss. And a terrible tragedy. I pray and will always pray for you and for him.
It is difficult to express in words how much good he did to me. All our differences are dust. And what he did for me, I will carry with me throughout my life. I pray for him and grieve with you. I will be happy to help you at any time.

What does faith advise?

A Christian believer during a ritual burial is seen off with the words:

“Rest, Lord, the soul of the deceased”;
“Bright peace to ashes “Name””;
"The Kingdom of heaven";
“Lord, rest with the Saints”;
“Forgive voluntary and involuntary sins and grant the Kingdom of Heaven”;
"Rest in peace".

In Islam, it is customary to support relatives with instructions and pray to Allah. Stories from the life of the deceased should be left until the evening of remembrance - at a funeral, stories are unnecessary. Condolence with the phrases: “May Allah have mercy on the “Name”” or “May Allah forgive the sins of the deceased and have mercy on you.”

The main thing is sincerity!

Speaking about etiquette, it should be noted that words of condolences to the relatives of the deceased should be filled with sincerity. You can say a lot of pompous phrases with a cold heart, simply because this is required by the standards of decency, or you can say a few words from the bottom of your heart and these words will be a balm for the soul of the closest people of the deceased.

Condolences for a death should not be a memorized text, much less a text read from a piece of paper or any medium, such as a phone. Sincerity is defined in empathy, the awareness that grief, like death, does not bypass a single person. Long speeches sound insincere and pathetic. A short condolence in your own words will be the best option.

The help offered will also be a manifestation of sincere sympathy and empathy. How can I help you? What can I do for you? If you need anything, contact me! – everything must be confirmed by deeds. Don’t be unfounded, and especially don’t offer help knowing in advance that you won’t be able to help.

Words of condolences

Words of condolences regarding death can consist of a couple of phrases and even a couple of words. For example:

(Name) was a man of great soul. We sincerely sympathize with you!
He was a bright/kind/powerful/talented person. An example for all of us. We will always remember!
How much good she did for her neighbors! How she was loved and appreciated during her lifetime! With her passing, we lost a piece of ourselves. We really feel for you!
This is a tragedy: we are in great pain at this hour. But it’s hardest for you! If we can help you with anything, please contact us immediately!
He has meant/done/helped me a lot in my life. I mourn with you!
What a pity that I didn’t have time to tell him “I’m sorry!” He opened a new world for me, and I will always remember it! My sincere condolences!
I mourn your loss. I know this is a hard blow for you
We offer our sincere condolences to all family and friends
I was told that your brother died. I'm very sorry, I mourn with you
A wonderful man has passed away. I send my condolences to you and your entire family at this sad and difficult moment.
Condolences about death - the words above are an example of sincere empathy. They can be tailored to a specific person.

In your own words

How to express condolences to a girlfriend or friend sincerely, in your own words? Here is the formula of condolences:

Acknowledge and share the pain of loss.
Express honest and sincere respect for the person of the deceased.
Support a friend or friend in word and deed.

Example:

Girlfriend!
I was upset to tears when I found out that [Mom's name] died. A bright woman - that’s how I’ll remember her... I’m nearby, I can and want to help you in any way I can. Call any time! Example of condolences to a friend about the death of her mother

“Feminine” personality traits

Sincere condolences can only contain truthful words . Even if the deceased was a complex and contradictory woman, several strong characteristics of her personality are still worthy of mention. Here are the positive traits of a “female” character (full list), which are appropriate to use in condolences , a funeral speech at a wake, or in an obituary.

Patient, enduring.
Merciful, compassionate, capable of forgiveness.
Flexible, flexible, compromising.
Wise, judicious, reasonable, sensible.
Caring, affectionate mother, gentle wife.
Kind, generous, hospitable.
Emotional, loved life.

✒ How to write an obituary for your mother?
Publication is free, period: 24 hours.

Etiquette of condolences on the death of a mother or wife

The death of a mother is a tragic event of the loss of a person who gave life. In addition to general words of condolences regarding death, words of consolation about the loss of a mother can be based on this closest family relationship “mother-daughter” , “mother-son” . Mother and grandmother symbolize family origins, home, comfort and hospitality.

The death of a spouse is the grief of the loss of the closest person and the border between life “before” and life “after”. Condolences for the death of your wife may contain mention of family life, but only if you know well that the marital relationship was kind and close. a more general expression of condolences in words of consolation about the death of a spouse .

My condolences!

Therefore, when condoling the death of a mother, wife, grandmother or sister , it is important to thoughtfully and delicately point out those feminine personality traits that were inherent in the deceased. If you are not sure about one or another character trait of the deceased, use:

For me she was like...,
She always seemed to me...
She made an impression...

Letter of condolences from the organization

The corporate culture of a company, firm or institution may include a letter of condolence to a wife or husband on the death of an employee. An official letter to a spouse , as well as an obituary from the team, is a worthy sign of gratitude to a colleague for his cooperation. Here are a few rules for letters of condolences from the team and management :

The letter should be short but attentive.
A small humane or touching story about the deceased is appropriate.
Be careful with religious beliefs.
The signature must include your full name (and last name) and company/department name (possibly the names of colleagues). This eliminates confusion if the family does not know the employer or staff well.
The letter of condolence should not include any mention of unresolved work issues. This can be resolved after the grieving period has passed.

Read more about condolences from the team

How to express sympathy?

There are several rules, tips and recommendations on how to express condolences:

The first and most important thing has already been given above - this is sincerity, which is expressed in the fact that the words do not come from the head, like a memorized text, but from the heart.

Secondly, when offering condolences in connection with a death, offer help; this will become an expression of participation in the grief that has befallen. This could be a small help - pick up and bring wreaths, help with organizing a funeral/memorial. Expressing condolences over a death means joining in the general grief not only in words, but also in deeds.

Third, don’t keep your emotions to yourself and maintain a calm appearance. You should not be ashamed of your feelings - you came to the funeral of a friend who is no longer alive. You can cry, hug your family, provided you follow the first rule - sincerity. An obviously feigned hysteria will not be able to support relatives.

Fourth, it is not superfluous and even important to say at least a couple of phrases that characterize the deceased from the best side - he was a great friend / she is a wonderful housewife or it was a pleasure to work with him / she was a kind and sympathetic person. These words will become a balm for the soul of the dearest people of the deceased.

Examples of condolences

We deeply mourn the death of (name). She was a wonderful woman and surprised many with her generosity and kind disposition. We miss her very much and can only imagine what a blow her passing was for you. We remember how she once (name). She involved us in doing good, and thanks to her we became better people. ... was a model of mercy and tact. We are happy that we knew her.
Even though I never met your father, I know how much he meant to you. Thanks to your stories about his thriftiness, love of life and how tenderly he cared for you, it seems to me that I knew him too. I think a lot of people will miss him. When my father died, I found comfort in talking about him with other people. I would be very glad if you shared your memories of your dad. Thinking about you and your family.
We deeply regret the death of your dear daughter. We wish we could find words to somehow ease your pain, but it’s hard to imagine if such words exist at all. The loss of a child is the most terrible grief. Please accept my sincere condolences. We are praying for you.
I was deeply saddened by the news of (name)'s death and would like to express my sincere sympathy to you and the other employees of your firm. My colleagues share my deep sadness at his/her passing.
It is with deep regret that I learned about the death of the president of your institution (name), who faithfully served the interests of your organization for many years. Our director asked me to convey to you my condolences for the loss of such a talented organizer.
I would like to express to you our deep feelings about the death of (name). Her dedication to her work earned her the respect and love of all who knew her. Please accept our sincere condolences.

How to give a speech correctly?

When expressing verbal condolences, the following rules should be considered::

Do not hold back in expressing your feelings and expressing kind words about the deceased. Avoid formulaic words of condolences, they will not bring any benefit.
Remember the positive moments that connected you with the deceased. Do not hesitate to share your memories - they will surely find a response in the heart of the mourner.
Very often, in a moment of shock, mourners do not pay attention to what exactly is being said to them. In some cases, it is much more effective to shake or stroke his hand, hug or cry next to the person experiencing grief. This way you will express your sympathy and sorrow.
If a person wants to pour out his feelings to you, listen to them silently, without interrupting the speaker.
Do not try to console the grieving person with the future, find positive aspects in the tragedy, or devalue the loss. Saying something like this can easily cause offense or offense.

What should you not talk about?

Old grievances - death forgives everything and puts an end to any conflict. Popular wisdom says that only good things can be said about the dead. If you cannot let go of a situation or a conflict, then it is better to limit yourself to a couple of phrases, since if by chance aggression or negativity towards the deceased slips into the words, this can hurt his relatives. Or, even worse, it will cause a scandal.

The text of condolences regarding a death should not contain banal and hackneyed phrases that essentially mean nothing. This is “everything will be fine”, “everything will pass with time”, “you’re young - you’ll give birth”, “soon the pain will subside, it will become easier with time” and so on. Those who have lost loved ones cannot understand all this at the moment, and such phrases will only cause an outbreak of aggression.

There is no need to ask to stop crying or worrying. This will also not resonate. On the contrary, one should support “don’t keep everything to yourself - cry.” Here, tears are the main way to throw out the grief and pain accumulated inside. This really makes it easier. It is much more difficult to experience everything within yourself, which can lead to psychological and even mental illness.

It is not worth mentioning such banal things as age - “he was already old,” “he was sick for so long that death is liberation.” You will cause deep pain to your relatives. Especially if these are condolences for the death of mom or dad. It's hard to lose parents at any age. These are the closest people whose support and love we need at any age.

Texts of condolences

(Name), please accept my heartfelt condolences... The death of a husband is a difficult loss that must be experienced. It’s hard for me to put into words, but we really need you. Hold on!
(Name), I express my deepest condolences regarding the death of (name). Words are stupid, and perhaps in vain, but we are always with you. We will support and help you survive.
I sincerely share your pain and convey words of sympathy and support to you and your family.
The death of a loved one is a great grief and trial.
(Name) please accept my sincere condolences. Unfortunately, words are difficult to heal a terrible wound in the heart. However, bright memories of a person who lived his life honestly and with dignity, leaving behind the fruits of his good deeds, will always be stronger than death.
At this bitter moment, I share your grief, I mourn with you, I bow my head in sorrow.
We understand how much he meant to you. It is very difficult to lose such a wonderful person. He brought us so much warmth and love. We will never forget him. We mourn with you
His death is an irreparable loss for all of us. This is a terrible tragedy. After all, he was such a kind, loving and sympathetic person. He did so much good in his life for everyone. We will never forget him

Promise of eternal memory

The approximate outline of condolences in your own words contains three ideas:

Show sympathy for the loss.
Remember the deceased with kindness.
Promise eternal memory or express support:

With love/respect, [Your Name]
God bless you with health and strength! [Name]
I always remember [Name]
Prayers for your family, [Name]
With sincere sympathy, [Name]
Our condolences, [Name]
Praying for you, [Name]
With best memories of___, [Name]
I wish you peace in your soul, [Name]
Good memory forever and ever! [Name]
With you in sorrow, [Name]
I wish you healing from the pain of loss, [Name]
I share your sadness, [Name]
Goodness and peace! [Name]
We love you. we remember. we mourn. [Name]
Bright memory! [Name]
My heart aches for your pain, [Name]
With prayers and sympathy, [Name]
May he/she rest in peace! [Name]
May God bless and comfort you, [Name]
Once again, please accept my deepest condolences, [Name]
I wish you strength today and hope for tomorrow! [Name]