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Since ancient times, it was customary in our country to receive a blessing with icons before the wedding for a long and happy life. This ritual is considered the most significant and exciting for both newlyweds and their parents.
It is worth noting that, in principle, the tradition of blessing has been slightly different since those times. If in those days blessings were asked from parents long before the wedding, today blessings of parents take place at the wedding.
How does the blessing ceremony take place?
Despite the fact that modern young people themselves decide who and when they want to marry, the ceremony of blessing remains a rather important and touching moment of the entire wedding. This is probably right, because nothing can cheer you up and give confident guidance for your future life like the kind and sincere words of your parents.
The blessing ceremony can be performed in two ways:
- Orthodox. It follows certain rules. In this ritual, if one of the participants (parents or young people) is not baptized, then you must first cross yourself, and only then carry out the blessing. There must also be icons here. We will look at what icons are used for these purposes below. The whole ritual takes place with the help of icons. But still, in order to conduct the ceremony accurately and correctly, you need to clarify all the nuances with the priest the day before.
- Modern. This type of blessing is used quite often at modern weddings. It is used by young people who are not ready for a serious ceremony, and it has a purely formal look. It can also be performed by non-baptized people. To carry out the ceremony, it is enough to simply ask the parents to prepare a parting speech in advance.
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After the blessing ceremony, parents ask the guests to bless their children for a happy life. After the words “God bless,” all the guests accompany the newlyweds to the wedding procession and, having sat in their cars, go to the registry office.
General information
In many religions there is a wedding blessing, but it appeared in Orthodoxy. The bride and groom asked their parents for permission to become a family. Sometimes they did not receive it and married secretly. But this was considered a sin and was highly condemned. Even a priest could refuse a wedding if the couple did not have a blessing from their parents.
Of course, in the modern world, young people make such decisions themselves, but many still listen to their parents’ words and receive the blessings of the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents.
Important tips for preparing a blessing from the mother of the bride:
- The entire main speech will be addressed to the daughter, but the groom must also be mentioned, because they are becoming a couple.
- You need to say not only congratulations, but also words of encouragement.
- It is better to try to avoid overly sentimental words, because tears will lead to running makeup, which is unacceptable for the bride.
- If you feel unsure, try rehearsing in front of a mirror. You can do the same thing with a joint congratulation with the bride’s father.
- While saying the words of blessing, they can be shared with the groom's mother if everyone is on good terms. The same applies to the ritual of removing the veil at the end of the evening.
- Parents are given the floor at least twice, this is the meeting of the newlyweds with a loaf of bread and the banquet itself. In addition to the loaf of bread, many people meet the newlyweds with an icon before the registry office or in a restaurant they give a blessing with an icon after the registry office.
- Avoid blessing verses. They can easily be forgotten and confused, let all the blessing be in prose. Poems are best saved for toast. Be calm and confident. No papers, just words from yourself. Even if you forget something, you can improvise, because these are words to your beloved daughter.
- Excitement will always be present, but try not to show it. Avoid awkward situations and words, especially those that put the bride in an awkward position in front of the guests.
On a note. Words of blessing from the bride's mother are very important and the most personal words can be said when left alone with your daughter.
Icon for blessing newlyweds
Today, the icon of the Mother of God of Kazan and Christ the Savior is most often used to bless the young. Let's take a closer look at the icons for wedding blessings:
- And so, the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God is one of the most revered images of the Mother of God. Since ancient times, she was considered the intercessor and patroness of the entire people.
- Many different miracles and amazing salvations were attributed to her.
- It is also worth noting that it is this icon that is used for weddings in the church. It is especially important for women.
- Before her they pray for the birth of children, and ask for protection of the house from evil spirits.
- The icon of the Temperance of the Savior is the second icon that is used to bless the young. Before this image they pray for need and joy. Contact her with requests for the well-being of the whole family.
Today you can bless with both icons or with one of them. You can also buy a fold of these images in the icon shop.
History of appearance
In the old days in Rus', young people asked their parents for their wedding blessings. Blessing in this context meant approval for marriage and permission for a son to marry and a daughter to marry. Marriage without parental blessing was not approved by society and was considered unhappy.
In addition to moral support, the blessed young people also received material support for their marriage, in the form of a dowry, inheritance, titles and privileges. Moreover, this material component of parental blessing extended to the future offspring of the young, to their children.
Therefore, not a single wedding in Rus' was complete without such an important ritual. And the groom, without the approval of his parents, did not decide on either matchmaking or a wedding.
With the change in lifestyle, customs invariably change. Such changes also affected the ritual of parental blessing of a son before the wedding. Previously, the groom received it twice - before and after the wedding. Today, more and more often, young people limit themselves to one thing - a blessing with a loaf of bread on the threshold of the groom’s house (or in front of a restaurant , cafe , banquet hall ), before the wedding feast. And sometimes they completely miss this wedding stage.
Modern newlyweds are no longer so attached to popular beliefs. They are not afraid of the thought that without parental prayers their marriage will be doomed. Young people often live together before registration, without informing their parents and without asking their approval by submitting an application to the registry office .
However, this does not apply to all couples. And those who cannot imagine their marital union without a wedding in church also try to receive a parental blessing.
Blessing of daughter (son) before wedding
The blessing of the daughter is carried out with the help of the face of the Kazan Mother of God. The father must give the icons to the mother. Moreover, it is very important that the mother holds towels, because it is not customary to take holy images with bare hands. The father holds a loaf of bread during the ceremony.
Parents take turns saying their wishes without interrupting each other. The parting words should be succinct, concise and simple. After pronouncing the speech, the daughter must be crossed three times and the image brought to her. She must also cross the image and kiss it. If the young woman does not have parents, then the ceremony can be performed by godparents.
The blessing of a son before the wedding is carried out similarly to the ceremony with a daughter, only for this purpose the icon “Savior Temperance” is used.
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Which parent holds the images of the saints and the loaf during the ceremony?
As a rule, when children decide to marry, parents are always unexpected. When planning a celebration and assigning “roles” for the blessing ceremony, it is always difficult. In fact, there is nothing complicated here. There are several options:
- The groom's father holds the icon, the young mother holds the loaf.
- Mothers of young people hold icons, and fathers hold champagne and a loaf of bread,
- One of the mothers holds images of saints, the other a loaf, and the fathers simply stand on the sides.
All diagrams should be viewed from left to right. You can use a special prayer during the ceremony. It is pronounced before the wishes of the parents themselves. If it is better not to memorize the wish, so as not to forget during excitement, then you should try to learn the prayer.
Wedding blessing prayer:
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, prayers for the sake of Thy Most Pure Mother, hear me, Thy sinful and unworthy servant. Lord, in the mercy of Your power my children (names), have mercy and save them for Your name’s sake. Lord, forgive them all the sins, voluntary and involuntary, that they committed before You. Lord, guide them on the true path of Your commandments and enlighten them and enlighten them with Your light of Christ, for the salvation of the soul and the healing of the body. Lord, bless them in the house, around the house, at school, in the field, at work and on the road, and in every place of Your possession. Lord, protect them under the shelter of Your Saints from a flying bullet, arrow, knife, sword, poison, fire, flood, from a deadly plague (atomic rays) and from vain death. Lord, protect them from visible and invisible enemies, from all troubles, evils and misfortunes. Lord, heal them from all diseases, cleanse them from all filth (wine, tobacco, drugs) and ease their mental suffering and sorrow. Lord, grant them the grace of Your Holy Spirit for many years of life, health and chastity. Lord, increase and strengthen their mental abilities and physical strength. Lord, give them Your blessing for a godly family life and godly childbearing. Lord, grant also to me, Thy unworthy and sinful servant, a parental blessing on my child at this time of morning, day, evening and night for the sake of Thy name, for Thy Kingdom is eternal, omnipotent and omnipotent. Amen.
Parting words to the groom before the ransom from his father and mother
The parents of the groom, as well as the bride, say words of blessing and parting words several times . The very first time this happens is when young people announce their intention to start a family - on the day of their engagement. And right before the wedding - even before the son leaves the house to go after his future wife.
Religious
Just as faith is strong and indestructible, and mead is sweet, in the same way let the family of (the son’s name) with (the name of his bride) be indestructible by any adversity, strong in faith in each other, sweet in their love. Let them be inseparable, starting right from this day and this minute - only together, so that not a moment apart from each other! Amen.
Parting words
- Son! We wish you to create a happy, strong family. Take care of your future wife, love her devotedly. May your relationship be built on honesty, mutual understanding and the love that is shining now in your eyes. Be happy!
- Beloved son! We bless you for creating your family. May God protect her from all misfortunes, from storms and evil. Be faithful, love your wife. Protect her with a strong shoulder from the difficulties of this world, let her receive help from you in all matters. May there be harmony and love, devotion and faith between you for happiness for yourself and joy for other people. Peace, peace and endless happiness to you!
- (Groom's name), son! All earthly blessings and peace to you! Let your home be a full cup and let love and mutual understanding always reign there. Having harmony in the family helps preserve love for a long, long life. We wish you healthy and strong children, so that they grow up and make you and your wife happy and help you. We wish that the sun shines brightly for your family and that the clouds do not roll into the sky. May God protect you and everything that is dear to you, and you, in turn, respect and take care of your wife. Be always happy!
How to store icons after the wedding
After the ceremony, the icons are necessarily handed over to the young. From the moment of transmission they are considered a family heirloom. If the family is a believer, then they are placed at home in the red corner (a specially designated place for icons in the house), with a napkin laid under them and covered with a towel.
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In general, according to church rules, such images should be placed in the Eastern corner of the house. Next to them are wedding candles or a candle that was used during the ritual of “lighting the hearth candle.” By the way, there is a belief that in order for the family to live in peace and love, such candles should be lit every year on their wedding anniversary.
If the family is not deeply religious and for some reason there is no place in the house for holy images, then they should be carefully wrapped in towels and a special place should be allocated for their storage.
The Lord is always with you!
Watch the video on how to properly bless your daughter or son before the wedding:
