How to calm a sick soul: advice from psychologists

It is difficult to achieve peace of mind when you have to deal with stress almost daily. To one degree or another, almost everyone is forced to constantly be nervous for various reasons, ranging from eternally dissatisfied bosses to minor everyday problems. By learning a few techniques to calm your mind and relax your body, you can significantly improve your quality of life by becoming a more balanced person.

How to find peace of mind?

Many people understand peace of mind as the ability to not react so sharply to stressful situations and to quickly forget the bad moments of life. This can be achieved by putting the following tips into practice:

• Learn to reduce the importance of problems . The overwhelming number of nervous breakdowns occur due to the fact that a person becomes too fixated on unimportant things. For example, my wife noticed that the balcony door did not close well. She asked her husband to fix it. He initially promised to resolve the issue this coming weekend, but he always had other things to do or just wanted to take a break from work by going fishing. At first his wife nervously reminded him about the broken door, and then in the end everything turned into a scandal. In fact, the problem could be solved easily and simply. Instead of wasting her nerves on a quarrel, the wife should simply have told her husband that if he does not have the time or desire to repair the door, then she will call a repairman. But the wife initially attached great importance to a trivial problem, which became the cause of a family quarrel;
• Make time for your favorite activities . It’s worth devoting at least an hour a day to something that brings you pleasure. For example, reading books, communicating on social networks, etc.;
• Learn meditation or relaxation techniques . Both have their advantages. Meditation is better at freeing the mind from the flow of thoughts, but it takes time to develop the ability to focus on the breath or some object. Relaxation is easier to learn and great for those who suffer from muscle tension at the end of the day;
• Find positive moments in life . Some people are constantly depressed because they only pay attention to the negative. But at the same time they do not notice the positive sides. For example, a person complains that it takes too long to get to work. But it’s worth looking at the situation differently. For example, instead of constantly nervously waiting for your stop, on the subway you can read books from your smartphone that you always didn’t have time for at home.

What stages does a person go through?

In psychology, there are five stages that clearly describe the state of a person in whose life something bad has happened.

The theory of the five stages of grief was created by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a famous American psychologist.

A person experiencing a traumatic situation goes through the following stages:

1. Negation. At this stage, the psyche is not ready to accept what happened, so the person tends to deny the traumatic event and interpret it differently.
   If, for example, a person finds out that he has a serious illness, he may begin to make assumptions that the doctors made a mistake, mixed up the tests, and undergoes repeated examinations. After a difficult breakup initiated by a loved one, the abandoned person may think that perhaps his beloved is repenting, that this is not what he really wanted and that he will return soon.
2. Anger. At the second stage, a person begins to feel angry and look for someone to blame. For example, if he injured his spine at a ski resort, he may become angry with his friends who decided to go to the mountains with him. A mother who has lost a child may be angry with older children who were close to him and did not have time to help. A person may also begin to be angry with fate, God, and himself.
3. Bargain. During this period, a person begins to look for how to solve his problem and change it. A seriously ill patient may begin to rush back and forth between doctors, ready to spend any money to get help. A person who has been abandoned by a loved one may try to beg him to start over or at least become friends. Superstitious people often begin to see peculiar “signs”: for example, seeing a white dog, they may decide that this is a good omen and that everything will be fine soon.
4. Depression.
   When a person realizes that his attempts to bargain have led nowhere, he plunges headlong into despair. He feels completely helpless, loses interest in what was important to him before, becomes less sociable, spends a lot of time in bed, and cries. During this period, it is extremely difficult for him to force himself to do anything, because the despair that has gripped him is too strong.
5. Adoption. Over time, despair decreases and the person comes to terms with the pain. He accepts what happened and takes the first steps to move on with his life.

But for everyone, these stages go differently : for some, the stage falls out, and for others, they have been in one of the stages for a very long time. If the transition to another stage does not occur for a long time, this indicates the need to consult a psychotherapist.

What should you avoid?

If a person wants to achieve peace of mind, then he should not:

1. Kill yourself because of your mistakes. Some people, having made a mistake, can reproach themselves for several days, and sometimes even weeks. Self-flagellation is one of the most harmful habits. It is necessary to admit your guilt in making a mistake, but after that you should turn it into a part of life experience, and not a heavy burden;
2. Sleep less . A person does not react so painfully to stressful situations if he gets enough sleep;
3. Holding a grudge against others . Forgiving a person who has committed something mean against you can be difficult. But it is important to understand that with your anger against him you are only playing into his hands. He probably has long forgotten about that unpleasant incident for you and is living a quiet life.

Balance is the greatest manifestation of strength

Statuses about peace of mind will teach you patience and help you look at an unpleasant situation from the other side.

1. A smart person does not take revenge, but forgives with a smile. And with this calmness he hurts the offender more than if he had taken revenge with all cruelty
2. The malice of the human heart is a white flag. Calm is stronger than angry rumors
3. Calmness is a sign of great but hidden advantage. The depth of thoughts and feelings does not allow wild impulses
4. Don't look for peace around you if you haven't found it in your heart.
5. Sometimes you just have to wait quietly. For some events the time has not yet come
6. The secret of calm is complete acceptance of the inevitable
7. True freedom is freedom from worry
8. Just watch and listen. This will open within you an intelligence free from conventions and concepts.
9. Calm silence is a great way to avoid many problems
10. Only those who are not envious and do not wish harm to anyone will achieve balance.
11. Calmness is one of the main components of success. Without it it is impossible to think fruitfully
12. The center of a tornado is always quiet. So you remain calm when whirlwinds are raging around
13. Only in calm water can an undistorted reflection be seen
14. Worry may not always eliminate tomorrow's problems, but it will always take away today's peace.
15. Even if everything around you is falling apart, remain calm - life is simply getting rid of unnecessary things.
16. Be calm when accepting life's adversities: remember that without thunderstorms, the constant heat of the sun dries up the earth
17. Nothing calms the spirit like finding a clear goal.
18. Calm thoughts can achieve more than feverish excitement
19. Great peace of mind is possessed by those who do not strive for praise and do not worry about blasphemy.
20. If you can maintain inner peace, unclouded by memories and expectations, you will be able to discern a beautiful pattern of events. And your worry only creates chaos
21. The more balanced a person is, the less others contradict him and resist him.
22. If you don’t want to get too excited, you shouldn’t hang out with unworthy people

How can you survive severe mental pain?

Here's how you can cope with intense feelings

• Reassess the situation . This is not about rejoicing over a sad event, such as parting with a loved one. You should accept the fact that you now have a deeper understanding of love relationships. This is a valuable skill that helps you avoid mistakes and value more the new loved one who will certainly appear in your life;
• Be active . Often, after a serious shock, a person sits at home for a long time and avoids friends and family. Of course, you can be alone for a while and be sad if you don’t want to show your suffering and tears to others. But if this period is prolonged, then this already creates a negative effect. Share your experiences with at least the person you trust most. Then return to your usual circle of friends and old hobbies. Communication and an active lifestyle will help you take your mind off an unpleasant event;
• Don't hesitate to ask for help . You can discuss the problem that is bothering you with a friend or relative. But we should not forget about the professional help of a psychologist. To some extent, he may even turn out to be better than the same old acquaintance. A psychologist is a neutral party; he will definitely never tell anyone your secret experiences.

Accept and let go of the past

No one is able to change or erase events that have happened from life. You only have the power to accept it. Every time you resist a situation, you give it even more power.

Only when you let go of things beyond your own influence do you find peace. Don't worry, don't think about things you once did wrong, or about chances you couldn't take.

There is no need to try to forget or change the past, you need to accept it.
Accept the past for what it was and look forward to a brighter future. Don't spoil the present and tomorrow by constantly living in the past tense. This will deprive you of the opportunity to experience the wonderful moments of life in the moment. Let go of the past to find inner peace.

Getting rid of constant stress

A person will not be able to find peace in his soul as long as there is a regular source of stress in his life. It could be anything, for example, an unloved job or an unhappy marriage.

The problem is that it is often difficult for a person to take the decisive step and say goodbye forever to what he has spent many years on. A man could build a career for a long time and endure enormous stress just for the sake of a good salary. And when he realizes that all previous efforts were a mistake, changing his field of activity and starting all over again seems wrong to him.

The same goes for an unhappy marriage. When she got married, the girl hoped to live with her lover for the rest of her life. After a few years, she realizes that it becomes almost impossible to tolerate his infidelities and other shortcomings. Parting for her seems like an even bigger disaster.

If a person has accurately identified the cause of constant stress, then one should not be afraid to get rid of it. Even if this means radically changing your life.

How to calm down at home

If stress catches you at home, the best thing to do is take a bath or shower. Immediately after stress, you need to do a little gymnastics. Physical exercise helps quickly get rid of adrenaline, which enters the bloodstream during stress. You can sit down several times quickly or walk from room to room at a fast pace. Then breathe slowly for a few seconds. Then lie back in your chair or sofa, close your eyes and breathe deeply and slowly.

Sometimes the mundane environment in the house is annoying. You just need to change the curtains, put up new wallpaper, rearrange the furniture, hang pictures with beautiful landscapes. And the mood will immediately change.

Personality qualities that make life easier

It will be easier for a person to be in a state of mental balance if he cultivates the following personality traits :

1. Kindness;
2. Determination. Will provide invaluable assistance in finding solutions to any problems;
3. Sociability. A person with whom it is pleasant to communicate can always count on the support of friends and family;
4. Modesty. It should not be confused with shyness. Modesty is expressed in the fact that a person does not try to flaunt, for example, his financial viability or some other achievements.

It is unlikely that you will be able to achieve peace of mind in one day or even a week. After all, you will need to change your way of thinking, give up bad habits, and sometimes identify and eliminate the main source of stress that greatly interferes with your life.

Peace of mind depends on peace of mind

Statuses about peace of mind are tips on how to gain wisdom and not worry unnecessarily.

1. The highest human talent is the ability to adapt to external circumstances despite their disadvantage
2. What you know how to accept calmly no longer has power over you
3. The calmness of a lion is like a bone in the throat for barking mongrels
4. Don't lose your temper. It is unknown what will happen in your absence
5. Calm silence is sometimes louder than a scream
6. Tomorrow will be what it should be. Don't make a fuss
7. Serenity is nothing more than proper order in thoughts
8. The most attractive and healthy people are those who know how not to get irritated
9. The secret of naturalness is not to embellish, the secret of relaxation is not to make efforts
10. If the water is not clouded, it will become clear on its own. Eliminate anxiety, peace will reign in your soul
11. Health is maintained not only with the help of medicine. Much of it is achieved through peace of mind
12. A calm mind, free of negative thoughts, creates resilience even in a sea of ​​problems.
13. Forgive the offender not because he deserves forgiveness, but because you deserve peace of mind
14. Hold back and remain calm for a minute - prevent remorse for a hundred days
15. You can only create with peace of mind
16. Being calm does not mean doing nothing
17. When you allow yourself to be angry, you will lose peace, even if the world around you is serene and comfortable.
18. Calmness is one of the bricks in the foundation of good character
19. When you come to terms with yourself, you will be able to get along with others.
20. Let your ideal state of mind be “Before the lantern” - light, warm and fabulous
21. He who values ​​himself is always calm
22. Calmness is one of the best armor against enemies
23. Smooth, calm burning brings the best results. When a person burns out, he is no longer capable of anything.

What to do when you feel bad?

Avoid isolation.

The worst thing you can do when dealing with internal experiences is to close yourself off from the whole world. This is especially acute in three areas:

1. communication with friends and relatives;
2. hobby, interesting leisure;
3. external expression of emotions.

Why is it better not to deprive yourself of these three things?

Conversations with family help you feel the support and care that is so necessary for an upset person. In addition, it is relatives and good friends who often give practical advice. These are people whom you don’t need to ask twice for help, because they will help selflessly, out of a feeling of love. Even if the problem seems unsolvable, they will readily be there and will not abandon you in difficult times.

Favorite activities and interests distract you from heavy thoughts. They drive away negative thoughts, forcing you to let positivity into your soul and give joyful moments. All this has a positive effect on morale.

Expressing accumulated feelings is a way to get rid of negativity and remove a heavy load. Without expressing emotions, deterioration appears, which develops at a rapid pace. A person not only does not get rid of what worries him inside, but also begins to accumulate everything, to double it. In order to avoid complications, it is better not to forget to reset unnecessary worries.

Express emotions through creativity.

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There is a theory that the best masterpieces are created by creators precisely when they are going through a difficult period. If sadness strikes, this is a great way to test this concept. On the one hand, such activities allow you to open up, on the other hand, you don’t get hung up on the problem, but are distracted from it. To ease your pain, you can:

• write poetry, prose, plays;
• to draw the pictures;
• invent songs, compose musical compositions;
• stage choreographic numbers;
• make short films, videos;
• do handicrafts;
• invent something, make something;
• look for yourself in sculpture, architecture.

Channeling your energy into creative channels is a good idea. Such a decision is quite capable of giving a new meaning to life, a good mood, and an incentive to wake up in the morning.

Make an appointment with a specialist.

No idea what to do next with your life? Does sadness continue to oppress you, getting worse every day? Then it’s time to visit a psychologist’s office, or even better, a psychotherapist. These psychology experts will help:

• find yourself, learn more about true desires;
• set specific goals;
• change some character traits - uncertainty, alienation, overcome laziness, for example;
• find your own path to self-realization;
• identify the main cause of problems;
• cope with fears, depression;
• open up, learn to express your emotions, communicate with others.

If the heaviness inside presses too much, the psychotherapist will prescribe suitable medications - sedatives, antidepressants. It is at an appointment with such a doctor that there is a real chance to find like-minded people thanks to group sessions. Also, such a specialist will conduct a conversation with loved ones and tell them how to properly respond to the patient’s moral state.

Take the test: Beck Depression Scale

Plunge into childhood.

What can get rid of sadness better than children's fun? For many, childhood is a world of fairy tales and magic, where there is always a lot of interesting things to do. There are no responsibilities, no worries, life seems so easy, amazing, rich in miracles and the unknown. No one has yet invented a time machine, but it is quite possible to become a child for an hour or two. There are several options for this:

• ride on swings, rides;
• blow soap bubbles and paper boats through puddles;
• take a bath with lush foam;
• buy cotton candy;
• read fairy tales;
• slide down a snowy hill on a sled;
• assemble a puzzle or construction set;
• sing a children's song;
• watch a good cartoon;
• do face painting on your face.

A good solution would also be to look at children's photographs with your family. Memories from childhood give warmth and joy. And someone, perhaps, will remember an old, long-forgotten dream and try to make it come true. If there is a special place where a person loved to spend time as a child, then why not visit it? The positive emotions that result are the best medicine for internal pain.

Fall in love.

Falling in love is an inspiring feeling that makes you come alive. But since fighting with the heart is a waste of time, it is impossible to force yourself to feel this feeling for anyone. Fortunately, the feeling of “butterflies in the stomach” does not only appear from love for a person. You can also fall in love with:

• work;
• hobby;
• volunteering or other acts of kindness;
• nature;
• art - both in action and in its results;
• spiritual or moral freedom;
• life in general.

If the object for the manifestation of feelings cannot be found, then one of the tips already described will help - consult a doctor. The psychotherapist will tell you where to best direct your feelings. They will also help make sure that there are so many good experiences that they crowd out all the negativity.