Man and soul are inextricably linked. When the physical body dies, the spiritual begins a new path to eternal existence. Where the soul goes after death is determined by how the person lived and how relatives behave during the 40 days. According to Christian customs, the 3rd, 9th and 40th days are of great importance. These are the boundaries that forever separate eternal existence from earthly existence.
40 days from the date of death is not an easy number. It means the duration of the journey to the final refuge. In this material we will consider what happens to the human soul after death for up to forty days. The second question that will be discussed is how the ceremony is carried out in accordance with traditions.
What is death
Due to the exorbitant development of atheism and unbelief, death for most modern people, as a rule, is presented in the form of the complete death of a person. “A man lived, lived and... bam - he is completely gone, disappeared forever, forever,” - this is what atheism teaches, which does not recognize the doctrine of the immortality of the human soul.
Therefore, an atheist and a simple non-believer are afraid of death in every possible way and try to avoid it, although nothing more insane can be imagined. After all, death is the inevitable outcome of any person’s life; it is impossible to avoid it. You can only delay her arrival for a while, and even this is quite problematic.
Meanwhile, the atheist’s opinion that after people’s lives their complete non-existence begins has absolutely no basis. But it rests only on the absurd and blind faith of the atheist himself. Just as a Christian believes in the immortality of the soul, just as an atheist, on the contrary, believes in its mortality after the death of the body.
Let us evaluate these two faiths from a logical point of view. Christianity encourages us to believe that the soul, being immortal, does not die after the death of a person, but continues to live in rebirth. Atheism makes us believe that the soul supposedly also dies along with the body, and after that we will never exist again. Isn’t that very “optimistic”?! What should we believe?
Even if we assume that both of these beliefs are equally probable in relation to the truth, then their relationship can be clearly depicted as follows. There are, as it were, two roads in front of us: the sign of one says, if you follow this path, you will definitely die (as atheism claims); the second pointer is that by following this path you will perhaps be saved and finish your journey safely.
Which way should a normal person go?! Of course, the second one, which promises salvation, and not certain death. But, unfortunately, now, more than ever, “wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many go through it; For strait is the gate and narrow is the way that leads to life, and few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).
However, in any case, a Christian should believe that death is not the complete destruction of a person, but only the separation of soul and body. The latter goes into the earth from which it was taken (Gen. 3: 19), and the soul is immortal, and therefore remains in eternity.
How to conduct a wake correctly - opinions and advice from priests
Archpriest Sergius Vasin advises:
“For a deceased person, the 40th day after death is one of the most important in his life. It is clear that our time and eternity, in which time does not exist, are increasingly a convention. Nevertheless, the Lord determined for us in this way that, based on our time, while here on earth, we pray especially for the newly deceased. This is important because the preliminary fate of the deceased is decided, a preliminary judgment of the soul begins. Therefore, it is imperative to pray intensely for this soul for 40 days. And remember her on the 9th day, when the soul leaves the heavenly abodes and hell is shown to it. Especially pray before the 40th day: you definitely need to order a mass (when a particle for this person is immersed in the blood of Christ with prayer, to wash away the sins of this person) and a memorial service in the church - this is the most important thing.
The meal is still secondary. It matters, but in its modern form, of course, it has completely lost its main purpose. So the question of what is prepared for the funeral for 40 days is not fundamental. Initially, a funeral meal is a sacrifice to God for a person’s soul, when they try to feed needy, hungry people, increase love in this world and share love with the newly deceased. This is how it should be, for real.”
Archpriest Andrei Efanov reminds:
“The most important thing on the 40th day is to pray for the deceased person. As for the dinner that is prepared for the funeral for 40 days, it does not have any sacred meaning. Essentially, it's just a meal to energize family and friends. They gather primarily to pray together. And then they have lunch, because without food it’s difficult for a person. And since this is the last day, lunch should be lean, that is, without animal products. To put it simply, during Lent we eat vegetables and fruits.”
Evidence of the immortality of the soul
As for the atheist, he cannot provide any evidence of his false teaching about the mortality of the soul. His pathetic chatter on this matter “about the achievements of science” is not worth a damn, since science has not dealt with this issue. Although recently, on the contrary, it has presented some evidence from people who have experienced clinical death that there is another, spiritual life after death.
But Christianity can point to the obvious fact that all humanity, and always, with the exception of the relatively short time of widespread atheism (the twentieth and the beginning of our twenty-first centuries), believed that the soul is immortal. True, this faith was expressed in different forms, sometimes quite far from Christianity, but it almost always existed.
Modern science, studying myths, fairy tales, and beliefs of the ancients, has come to the conclusion that there is some kind of reality behind all this. Obviously, such a widespread belief in the posthumous existence of the soul suggests that it is truly immortal.
Today's people can understand this, and what death is, in the following way. Nowadays computers are very common and many people use them. But at the same time, a distinction is made between this device itself, which is sometimes called “hardware,” and its software. And what’s interesting is that the latter turns out to be, in a certain sense, independent of the former.
So, for example, the computer itself sometimes gets destroyed for some reason, but its software may well exist without hardware, but on a different medium. As we see, it is very similar to human death: the body is destroyed, but the immortal soul continues to exist in another world.
There is another similar example that Christians sometimes give. A baby, when it is conceived and lives for nine months in its mother’s womb, they say, believes that this existence is its real being. When the time of birth comes, he perceives this as the end of this existence, i.e. death. But in fact, as we all know, the birth of a person opens the door to another, much more extensive and attractive world than the cramped womb! Likewise, our physical death is also a door to another, immeasurably larger world, to rebirth.
However, as Christianity teaches, the fate of each of us there is different - depending on the faith and moral deeds of the person himself, committed during his earthly life. This is where the Orthodox virtue comes from, which is called
Mortal memory
Unlike an atheist, a true Christian is not afraid of death, knowing that another life follows after it. But he is afraid of God's judgment for his earthly deeds. Therefore, he tries to live piously, according to God’s commandments, in love for his neighbor, doing good deeds of mercy.
This virtue forces him to do this, called mortal memory, i.e. the constant memory that sooner or later, perhaps even this day, he will die, and with his good and evil deeds he will appear before the judgment of God. Which makes him do good, avoiding sinful deeds. As the holy fathers said:
“Remember your last - and you will never sin.”
It’s a different matter for an atheist, who, as mentioned above, is insanely afraid of death, which, after all, will come someday anyway. But at the same time, not believing in retribution from beyond the grave, he is not afraid to do evil, and often even the most notorious and disgusting sins. At the same time, trampling and hurting your neighbor in every possible way.
Let's compare one with the other and think - which is better?!
Stuck between worlds
Sometimes it happens that inexplicable things happen in the house: water starts flowing from a closed tap, a closet door opens by itself, something falls from a shelf, and much more. For most people, such events are quite frightening. Some people rather run to church, some even call the priest home, and some do not pay attention to what is happening at all.
Most likely, these are deceased relatives trying to get in touch with their relatives. Here we can say that the soul of the deceased is in the house and wants to say something to his loved ones. But before you find out why she came, you should find out what happens to her in the other world.
Most often, such visits are made by souls who are stuck between this world and the other world. Some souls do not even understand where they are and where they should move next. Such a soul strives to return to its physical body, but can no longer do this, so it “hangs” between two worlds.
Such a soul continues to be aware of everything, to think, it sees and hears living people, but now they can no longer see it. Such souls are usually called ghosts, or ghosts. It is difficult to say how long such a soul will remain in this world. This may last several days, or it may drag on for more than one century. Most often, ghosts need help. They need help to reach the Creator and finally find peace.
What happens to the soul after death
What do the 1st, 3rd, 9th and 40th days mean and how to spend them correctly
Immediately after it, on the first day, the soul of any deceased person experiences relief, freed from the bonds of the flesh. Especially if this, as often happens, was preceded by a more or less prolonged illness. But then the feeling of the soul of a true Christian is different, who is joyfully convinced of the justice of his faith and has hope in salvation by the grace of God.
The soul of an atheist feels differently, who sees with his own eyes the falsity and futility of his belief in the death of the soul and trembles, awaiting the inevitable judgment of God, for which he is completely unprepared.
3rd day
However, both on this day and subsequently, to a certain extent, can be supported by the funeral prayers of relatives for them, both personal and church. These prayers are especially important on the 3rd day, when the soul of the deceased first comes before the throne of God, and when heaven and hell are shown to it... Therefore, on this day, a Christian funeral service for the deceased and his burial are usually performed.
9th day
On the 9th day after death, a memorial service is performed so that the soul of the deceased is numbered among the nine ranks of angels.
40th day
The most important, however, is the 40th day after death. Before this or on this day (there are different opinions of different theologians) the soul passes, i.e. tested at various ordeals. Where on the scales of God's justice her virtues and sins are weighed - which will outweigh?! If the first ones outweigh, they will go to heaven; outweigh the latter - he will go to hell! And on this fortieth day she again stands before the throne of God, where she hears her final sentence.
This is the most important day in the life of every person. Therefore, it is so important to support the soul of the deceased with church prayer - a memorial service. It should be done on this very day or, if circumstances do not allow it, then a day earlier. There will be a funeral service later on this day, and not on the 40th day, since God’s judgment has already been completed. The same applies to the funeral dinner, which will be discussed in more detail below.
Rules and procedures for holding funerals at home
The funeral fortieth day begins with a visit to the morning service in the church and cemetery. Flowers are brought to the grave and candles are lit to show respect to the deceased relative. Noisy feasts in the fresh air are not welcome. It is enough to sit on a bench and pray. You can also leave a saucer with kutya, cookies and sweets at the monument.
After the cemetery, the family of the deceased invites relatives and friends home for dinner. The first dish is kutia, a traditional porridge.
During the meal, funeral speeches are made. Close relatives speak first: parents, children, spouses, sisters and brothers. You can also invite a priest from the church that the deceased attended to lunch and ask him to read a sermon.
Funeral etiquette for the forties:
- jokes and laughter are not appropriate in the cemetery and at the table;
- discussion of work, family matters, issues of division of inheritance between relatives should be postponed until after the event;
- people come to the wake only by invitation;
- They leave a free place at the table for the deceased and place his portrait tied with a black ribbon.
People leave the event in honor of the forties in reverse order: colleagues and friends say goodbye first, leaving close relatives to finish the meal in a close circle.
How to dress for a wake for men:
- classic suit - black, dark brown or dark blue;
- light shirt;
- a tie of one color or with a small, unobtrusive pattern;
- without headdress.
Military personnel wear a dark dress uniform.
What to wear for women on their 40th birthday:
- midi length dress or skirt, below the knees;
- on top - a dark or light blouse or jacket;
- cover your head with a scarf, a hat with a veil, they can be removed indoors;
- gather hair into a neat bun, ponytail without shiny clips;
- For jewelry, you can leave a wedding ring and a pectoral cross.
It is not customary to give gifts or money at a funeral. The purpose of the event is the spiritual unity of loved ones. To express respect for the deceased and condolences to the family, a memorial speech at the table is enough. But you need to choose your words delicately. To acquaintances and colleagues it is enough to say a short phrase. If Christian believers have gathered around the table, it would be appropriate to recall the lines of the Bible and the sayings of the holy righteous.
What should relatives do on the 40th day after the death of a loved one?
Commemoration in the temple
What should relatives do during these forty days and, especially, on the fortieth? As already mentioned, perform church and personal funeral prayers for the deceased. Namely: submit notes for funeral liturgies; funeral services; parastases. It is also good to read the Psalter for the deceased before burial. Which has spell power, i.e. drives demons away from the soul of the deceased. Usually an experienced church reader is hired for this.
But the most powerful commemoration is at the liturgy. Because a piece of prosphora, taken out with the name of the deceased, is then washed with the Blood of Christ, which also washes away the sins of the deceased. Therefore, it is advisable to order a funeral liturgy for him on the 40th day, and then serve a memorial service.
Memorial service
Moreover, relatives can order and celebrate the Divine Liturgy in the church, and then serve a memorial service at the grave of the deceased. This is what they do quite often.
How to avoid what is predicted in omens
One of the most unfavorable signs says that if you look into a mirror opened after a funeral, then death can enter the house a second time and take another life. In order to avoid what is promised in popular superstition, you need to bring a cat or cat to the mirror. This sign does not apply to them, and the curse will be lifted.
If a person swore at a wake on the fortieth day or behaved inappropriately at a funeral, he should visit the church and ask for forgiveness of this sin. It's even better to confess to a priest. Otherwise, the sinner may face troubles that will haunt him all year, namely: health problems, difficulties at work, discord in the family, quarrels with close friends, betrayal, betrayal by lovers. Additionally, it is worth asking for forgiveness of the deceased himself through prayer. You can do this in your own words. The main thing here is that they be sincere.
You can learn more about how to remember a loved one after death from the video below:
How to throw a funeral dinner
On this day, relatives and friends of the deceased usually organize a dinner in his memory. It should be said that this is another type (along with prayer) of serving the soul of the deceased, namely, alms for him. Only here you need to follow some simple rules.
Firstly, such a dinner should be held decently, without excessively strong drinks and indecent, stupid laughter, which usually occurs after their excessive consumption. Secondly, from time to time relatives should remember and encourage other diners to remember the deceased for the repose of the deceased, and also ask for their prayers for him in the future. Then such a memorial dinner will do him good.
Thirdly, almsgiving should not be limited to just this lunch. If possible, you should give a penny to the poor with the words: “For the repose of God’s servant (name),” then this alms will be counted as a virtue to both the deceased and the one who gave it.
Some people wonder what can be prepared for a funeral dinner? The answer is very simple - you can cook any dishes, there are no restrictions on meals. But there is a tradition of serving on the table exactly those dishes that the deceased or deceased loved during his lifetime.
If the commemoration falls on a fast day according to the Orthodox calendar, then it is better to abstain from meat dishes, replacing them with fish, cereals, vegetables and fruits.
Invitation to a wake
Those who knew the deceased are invited. These are relatives, friends, work colleagues, co-workers, classmates, classmates and good acquaintances. Those closest to you must go to the event, the rest - at their discretion. If people cannot come or visit, they call or write to the relatives of the deceased to express condolences.
We looked at what happens to the soul before the forty-day mark and where it is after. We answered the most common question from relatives: how to celebrate and organize a memorial. We hope this material helped you understand the nuances and find answers.
Brief and complete prayer for the deceased on the 40th day
It should be remembered that a person passes into another world with the baggage of virtues and sins that he committed during life. After death, as a rule, he cannot add anything to this baggage, because he can no longer do good or evil (with the rare exception of subsequent sins).
But relatives can do prayers and good deeds in his memory. And all this is put on that scale of God’s justice, where the goods of the deceased himself lie. And this cup, according to their zeal, can outweigh. And the one who on the first day after death would have been condemned to hell, on the fortieth day, thanks to these prayers and alms of relatives and friends, is awarded heaven.
And even if the sins of our loved ones are so grave that we cannot pray for them, then in this case their hellish punishment, according to our prayers and alms, will be less. And if we couldn’t pray for them in forty days, then perhaps we can pray for them for the rest of our lives, during which, if possible, we need to pray for them!
Constant personal prayer for our deceased loved ones should be like this:
“Rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name).”
You can read a more extensive prayer for the deceased on the 40th day:
Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the life of Thy eternal newly departed servant (or Thy servant), the name, and as good and a lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming iniquities, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, exposing him to Thy holy second coming into the communion of Thy eternal blessings, for the sake of the One who has faith in Thee, the true God and Lover of mankind. For You are the resurrection and the life and the rest of Your servant, named Christ our God. And we send glory to You, with Your beginningless Father and with the Most Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, Amen.
On this fortieth day, it is advisable, if possible, to constantly pray with this prayer for the deceased, while avoiding all vain affairs and unnecessary gossip that only distract from prayer. And, of course, it is completely indecent, as has already been said, stupid drunken laughter, as well as irritation, anger, and scolding of relatives who, sometimes, are deprived of the inheritance of the deceased. All this certainly insults his memory!
Why is it necessary to remember the dead?
The Christian understanding of death differs from the atheistic interpretation. Non-believers consider death to be the complete and irrevocable disappearance of a person into “nowhere.” Orthodoxy says that death is the transition of the human soul from the body to Eternity. That is, only the flesh dies, but the soul always remains alive.
“If a person dies, this does not mean that his soul ceases to exist. The body is destroyed, but the soul is immortal. She is alive, although she does not live with us, she lives a different life, just as the saints live a different life” (St. Luke of Crimea).
Where she will end up after death (in heaven or hell) depends not only on how a person spent his earthly life. Although the state of a person’s soul, determined by his earthly path, is most important. Also of great importance is our prayer for the deceased, works of mercy, alms, and a memorial meal. In this way we can implore God for mercy for the deceased. After all, it is in the first 40 days that it is decided where the soul will go after death.
“First of all, we must pray for those departed who in their earthly life saddened God. So that He would have mercy on them too, especially if someone was an evil or cruel person. And if, moreover, his life was sinful, then we must pray a lot for him, order a commemoration at the liturgy, magpies, and give alms to the poor for the repose of his soul, so that, having heard their prayer: “Rest his soul, O Lord,” God had mercy on him. This way we can do for this person what he himself did not do. And a good person, even if his life was not particularly pious, receives great relief from even insignificant prayers for his soul. Because he had an inclination towards goodness” (Reverend Paisiy Svyatogorets).
I dreamed about a deceased relative: what does this mean?
Usually superstitions on this basis also include dreams involving the deceased, especially on the 40th day. It should be noted that our dreams happen for three reasons: from God; from demons and from the flesh. The first occur rarely and on special occasions; the second - more often, the third even more often. So usually such a dream is either from demons or from the flesh. Therefore, you should not believe these dreams, and especially not be afraid because of them. In general, we should not believe any of our dreams, because such faith is most often, as has already been said, ordinary superstition!
If the dream is from God, then He will not be offended by our reasonable unbelief, but, on the contrary, will praise us. And if He wants to somehow enlighten us with such a dream, then He will repeat it a second and even a third time. This is where you need to think, turn to a priest or elder for advice: what does this dream mean? Sometimes dreams really are prophetic, in particular, when our relative from that world wants to warn us about something and warn us against something. But here, as has already been said, the advice of a spiritual person is needed.
Interesting fact
It is interesting to note that for Catholics, according to their tradition, the special day of remembrance is not the fortieth, but the thirtieth day after death. And Muslims, for example, of Tatarstan are still arguing about the commemoration in the 3rd; 7th and 40th days after death.
Funeral table
If prayer for the deceased is the essence of the funeral rite, especially and especially on the 40th day, then the funeral meal is a form of folk tradition. Where to hold the wake depends on the customs and state of the family. Cafes for funerals are inexpensive, and funerals at home are not prohibited: the choice is yours.
Social commemorations can be opened with a minute of silence in memory of the deceased person.
Since a wake is a democratic rite , where both the poor and the rich meet at the same table, and the Orthodox Church instructs to abstain from food, the funeral table is always not very expensive . In addition, the church calls not to drink alcohol at funerals , and the most authoritative psychologists support this call of priests.
They also recommend seating like this: man-woman, man-woman , so that the attention of the guests does not go to eternal table discussions . In the cafe they will tell you, but at home you need to remember to allocate and decorate a place that is not occupied by anyone , where the person revered today could be symbolically present.
There is a separate article “Funeral Table” on the “Newspaper Obituaries” website, so here it is very brief .
Funeral in a cafe
Search for cafes for funeral services , restaurants with banquet halls for funeral meals and kitchens with funeral packages delivered to your home.
The tradition of alcoholic feasts is so strong that many cafes for funerals answer the question: “Can you have your own?” They answer: “... you can...” . The funeral table menu has been worked out, and is usually offered in 2-4 options, to which you can additionally order individual dishes.
What is included in the funeral lunch? Kutia consecrated by the priest , pancakes, pies, jelly or compote are mandatory components of the funeral table.
Wake at home
In large cities, you don’t have to cook anything at home , because ordering a funeral dinner to take away has become a common practice. Prepared packages are delivered to the funeral organizers. Of course, no one forbids preparing something special, and, first of all, a symbolic dish that the deceased loved .
Is it possible to distribute food from a funeral table? Copywriters and priests from the pages of many sites recommend distributing food to the poor. It was relevant. Previously, not now. There are many poor people in Russia, but the beggars, thank God, still need to be found. Obsolete .
Many obituaries begin with the words: “cause of death - Covid”, “died from coronavirus”.
Examples - in the Obituary Newspaper
The main reason why table scraps should not be distributed is the violation of sanitary and hygienic standards.
Don't look for someone to give the leftovers from the table to! God will forgive for breaking tradition, which is being canceled by the pandemic and life itself. Throw away the excess!
Charity and volunteering are modern analogues of generosity.
Do not eat food left over from the funeral table!
What's next?
So, the one who reads this can easily understand how useful mortal memory is for a Christian during life, freeing him from the fear of death. But it gives hope for future eternal life and forces us to work here on earth for the sake of acquiring it in the Kingdom of God. And how harmful for an atheist is his unfounded belief in the mortality of the soul, depriving him of hope for a future rebirth and always, throughout his entire earthly life, keeping him under the murderous aim of the absurd fear of death.
But even after their death, their fate is even more different. A Christian goes into the future life with true, Orthodox faith and many good deeds that he has done, while an atheist, as a rule, is completely deprived of all this. Moreover, a Christian has the same believing relatives and friends who remember him in the above manner, making up for his unworthiness and atonement for his sins.
And an atheist can only wish that, by the grace of God, he had such relatives! But even then his fate will most likely be sad.
So what will we choose?!
Archpriest Georgy Gorodentsev
Is it possible to remember 40 days earlier?
Life is unpredictable and there is often no way to accomplish what you planned. The clergy say that if it is not possible to remember the deceased on the 40th day, it is not a tragedy or a sin, since this can be done in advance or even later. It is forbidden to reschedule commemoration at liturgy, memorial service and cemetery. Many people are still interested in how to count 40 days from the date of death, so the first day is the day of death itself, even if the death occurred late in the evening before midnight.
Funeral prayers
Prayer for the repose of the father
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are a keeper of the orphans, a refuge for those who mourn, and a comforter for those who cry.
I come running to you, orphan, groaning and crying, and I pray to you: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, satisfy my grief over separation from my parent (name), who gave birth and raised me, and his soul, which has gone to You with true faith in You and with steadfastness with hope in Your love for mankind and mercy, accept us into Your Kingdom of Heaven .
I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away from me, and I ask You not to take away Your mercy and kindness from him. We know, Lord, for You are the Judge of this world, You punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even up to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of the for them, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to You, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment the deceased, unforgettable for me, Your servant, my parent (name), but forgive him all his sins his voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance created by him in his life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on him and deliver him from eternal torment.
You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my deceased parent in my prayers, and to beg Thee, the righteous Judge, to put him in order with brighter, in a cooler and calmer place, with all the saints , from here all sickness, sorrow and sighing will escape.
Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Your servant (name) my warm prayer and reward him with Your reward for the labors and care of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as He taught me. Most of all, lead You, your Lord, in reverence to pray to You, in You alone I will trust troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for his concern for my spiritual success, for the warmth of the prayers he brings for me before You and for all the gifts he asked me from You, reward him with Your mercy, Your heavenly blessings and joy me in Thy eternal Kingdom.
For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages . Amen.
Prayer for the deceased mother
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are a keeper of the orphans, a refuge for those who mourn, and a comforter for those who cry.
I come running to you, orphan, groaning and crying, and I pray to you: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, satisfy my grief over separation from my mother (name), who gave birth and raised me, and her soul, which has gone to You with true faith in You and with you With great hope in Your love for mankind and mercy, accept us into Your Kingdom of Heaven .
I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away from me, and I ask You not to take away Your mercy and kindness from me. We know, Lord, for You are the Judge of this world, You punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even up to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of the for them, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to You, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment Your deceased servant, unforgettable for me, my mother (name), but forgive her all her sins her voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance created by her in her life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on her and deliver eternal torment.
You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my departed mother in my prayers, and to beg Thee, the righteous Judge, to order you in the place of your ashes, in a cooler and calmer place, with all the saints , from here all sickness, sorrow and sighing will escape.
Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Thy servant (name) my warm prayer and reward her with Thy reward for the labors and care of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, which taught me Most of all, lead You, your Lord, in reverence to pray to You, in You alone I will trust troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for her concern for my spiritual success, for the warmth of her prayers for me before You and for all the gifts she asked me from You, reward her with Your mercy, Your heavenly blessings With joys and joys in Your eternal Kingdom.
For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages . Amen.
Children's prayer for deceased parents
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are a keeper of the orphans, a refuge for those who mourn, and a comforter for those who cry.
I come running to you, orphan, groaning and crying, and I pray to you: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, quench my grief over separation from my parents (their names), who gave birth and raised me, and their souls, who have gone to You with true faith in You and with firm hope I wait for Your love for mankind and mercy, accept me into Your Kingdom Heavenly.
I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away from me, and I ask You not to take away Your mercy and kindness from them. We know, Lord, for You are the Judge of this world, You punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even up to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of the for them, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to You, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment your departed unforgettable servants, my parents (names), but forgive them all sins and them, voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance, created by them in their lives here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on them and deliver them from eternal torment.
You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my departed parents in my prayers, and to beg Thee, the righteous Judge, to put them in order in a brighter place, in a cooler and calmer place, with all the saints , from here all sickness, sorrow and sighing will escape.
Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Your servants (names) my warm prayer and reward them with Your reward for the labors and care of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as those who taught me the same most eagerly lead You, your Lord, in reverence to pray to You, in You alone I place my trust troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for their concern for my spiritual success, for the warmth they bring for me, prayers before You and for all the gifts they asked me from You, reward them with Your mercy, Your heavenly blessings and joys in Your eternal Kingdom.
For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages . Amen.
Visiting a temple during days of mourning
The extent to which prayer for the dead is necessary during the Divine Liturgy can be judged from several cases. When Theodosius of Chernigov was not glorified as a saint, Elder Alexy dozed off at the relics. During his sleep, the Saint appeared to him. He asked the elder to remember the saint’s parents during the Liturgy. And he called them by name (Nikita and Maria).
“How can you, saint, ask for my prayers, when you yourself stand before the Heavenly Throne and give people God’s grace?” – Hieromonk Alexy asked.
“Yes, this is true,” answered Saint Theodosius, “but the offering at the Liturgy is stronger than my prayers.”
This is how important it is to pray for the repose of the soul in church during the Liturgy.
Saint Gregory the Great answers, “is there anything that could be useful to souls after death”:
“The holy sacrifice of Christ, our saving Sacrifice, is of great benefit to souls even after death, provided that their sins can be forgiven in the hereafter. Therefore, the souls of the departed sometimes ask that the Liturgy be served for them... Naturally, it is safer to do for ourselves during our lifetime what we hope others will do for us after death. It is better to exodus free than to seek freedom while being in chains. Therefore we must despise this world with all our hearts, as if its glory had passed away, and daily offer to God the sacrifice of our tears as we offer up His sacred Flesh and Blood. Only this sacrifice has the power to save the soul from eternal death, for it mysteriously represents to us the death of the Only Begotten Son” (IV; 57, 60).
Widower's prayer for his dead wife
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! In contrition and tenderness of my heart I pray to You: rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Lord Almighty! You blessed the marital union of husband and wife, when you said: It is not good for man to be alone, let us create for him a helper for him. You have sanctified this union in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church. I believe, Lord, and I confess that You have blessed You to unite me in this holy union with one of Your handmaids. It was your good and wise will that you deigned to take away from me this servant of yours, whom you gave to me as a helper and companion of my life. I bow before Your will, and I pray to You with all my heart, accept my prayer for Your servant (name), and forgive her, even if you sin in word, deed, thought, knowledge and ignorance; Love earthly things more than heavenly things; If you care more about the clothing and adornment of your body than about the enlightenment of the clothing of your soul; or even careless about your children; If you upset someone by word or deed; If there is a grudge in your heart against your neighbor or condemn someone or something else that such evil ones have done. Forgive her all this, for she is good and philanthropic; for there is no man who will live and not sin. Do not enter into judgment with Your servant, as Your creation, do not condemn her to eternal torment for her sin, but have mercy and mercy according to Your great mercy. I pray and ask You, Lord, to grant me strength throughout the days of my life, without ceasing to pray for Your departed servant, and even until the end of my life, to ask for her from You, the Judge of the whole world, forsaking her sins. Yes, because You, God, have placed a crown of honor on her head, crowning her here on earth; So crown me with Your eternal glory in Your Heavenly Kingdom, with all the saints who rejoice there, so that together with them He may forever sing Your all-holy name with the Father and the Holy Spirit Home Amen.
Widow's prayer for her deceased husband
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your tribulation, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I resort to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer, offered to You with tears. You, Lord, Master of all, have deigned to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was your good and wise will to take away this servant of yours from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend. Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. As you once accepted two mites from widows, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word or deed, whether through knowledge or ignorance, do not destroy him without cause. horse him and do not deliver him to eternal torment, but according to the greatness of Your mercy and according to the multitude of Your bounty, weaken and forgive all his sins and do it with Your saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, for the forgiveness of everything. his sins and his entry into the heavenly abodes, which you have prepared for those who love Ty. Even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even until your last breath of confession; Moreover, his faith, even in Thee, instead of works was imputed to him: for there is no man who will live and will not sin, You are the only one besides sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and I confess that You will hear my prayer and will not turn Your face away from me. Seeing the widow weeping, you were moved with compassion, and you raised up her son for the burial of the son: so having mercy, calm and calm my sorrow. For You opened the door of Your mercy to Your servant Theophilus, who went to You, and You forgave him for his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, heeding the prayers and kindly to the shame of his wife: I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into eternal life. For You are our hope. You are God, who has mercy and saves, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Parents' prayer for the repose of their son or daughter
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom of Your departed servant (your servant), my child (name), and create for him (her) eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, Lord. I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth, with Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my departed child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in food and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins, so that they may not remain on our children: for we have sinned many times before You, we have not kept many, we have not done what You commanded. m. Even if our deceased child, ours or ours, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and no more for You, the Lord and your God: if you have loved the delights of this world , and not more than Thy Word and Thy commandments, even if delivered the sweets of life, and not more than the contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been given over to oblivion - I pray to Thee earnestly, forgive me, most gracious Father, my child, all of these are forgive and forgive his sins, even if you have done other evil things in this life . Christ Jesus! You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, eradicate eternal torment and place him with all Your saints, who have pleased You from time immemorial, where there is no sickness or pain al, not sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, you blessed of My Father, and I will inherit Take the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You live and our resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
What a wake shouldn't be
Even among believers, the funeral meal is often replaced by an ordinary feast, and sometimes by drinking. Relatives who have not seen each other for a long time gather around the table. They spend time in momentary conversations, forgetting about the spiritual meaning of the wake, about prayer for the deceased. For them, the problem of preparing for a funeral for 40 days obscures the memory of the deceased.
What exactly should you not do on the 40th day?
It is not blessed to serve a large amount of alcoholic drinks, with the exception of a little Cahors. Since a funeral meal is not a feast or a feast.
Anatoly Strakhov, rector of St. Nicholas Church at the Elshansky cemetery in Saratov, speaks about alcohol at funerals:
“This is something that you not only have to face, but also fight. It is even necessary to prohibit this kind of commemoration as having nothing in common with Christianity. The deceased, first of all, need our prayers and good deeds performed in memory of him. The funeral service in the church testifies that the person died in peace with the Church, and the Church prays for him, for the forgiveness of his sins. And the funeral meal represents a good deed aimed at those who live nearby. Usually people close and acquaintances were invited to it, as well as poor people, beggars, who, having attended the dinner, could offer a prayer for the soul of the deceased.”
Time should not be wasted on preparing food at the expense of worship and prayer. The main idea should not be that they prepare for the funeral for 40 days. A wake that turns into a noisy feast or drinking session will not bring any benefit to the soul of the deceased.
“Unfortunately, along with the general culture, the culture of funeral meals, which were originally a continuation of the funeral church service, has also gone into oblivion. But, despite this, every effort must be made to ensure that the funeral dinner is accompanied by an atmosphere of reverence and silence, and not by the desire to observe the most obscure signs” (hieromonk Dorofei (Baranov)).
